Shows they can't do together!
by kazumiXheartless
Summary: Putting Stefan and Damon in different shows to see how they act.
1. Cooking with Damon & Stefan

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Cooking with Damon and Stefan.

Stefan: Welcome to our new show. Cooking with Damon and Stefan.

Damon: My name is Damon and that moppy loser over there is no one.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Damon: On today's show we'll be making a Chocolate layer cake. *Looks around* I really don't see why we're doing this…I mean I don's really eat food.

Stefan: *Steps in front of Damon* The ingredients you'll need are:

1 + ½ cups of soften butter

1+ 2/3 cups of sugar

6 eggs

2 + 2/3 cups of purpose flour

About ¾ cups of finely ground almond

Damon: *Pushes Stefan to the side* I mean really, when am I really going to have time to make this crap!

Stefan: *Punches Damon in the stomach and watch him fall to the ground* The ingredients frosting is… *Gets hit by Damon with a glass pan*

Damon: That's all you got brother?

Stefan *Tackles Damon*

For the audience please ignore the fighting vampires.

Damon: You Bastard!

Stefan: Elena's mine!

Thank you for your understanding

* * *

This was made purely out of boredom. I was stuck at the library for five hours. Hope you like it. Peace, love, and chocolate!


	2. Look it's Hannah Montana

Shows They Can't Do Together

Hannah Montana!

Theme music playing in the back ground.

Damon: Why the hell am I in a blond wig! *Snatches wig off and throw it at the crowd*

Audience: O.O

Random kid: *cries* You're not Hannah Montana!

Damon: The hell I am not! I don't have tits. I'm not singing shit!

Random kid: *Crying*

Stefan: Do you have to stoop so low as to make kids cry?

Damon: *Laughs* At least I'm not wearing a pink mini-skirt. Got hello kitty undies? Yeah pink hair is not you color!

Stefan: Same goes to your skin tight dress…*cough* fairy

Damon: *Goes to the guitarist* Can I use that?

Guitarist: o.o Sure? *walks over to Stefan and hits him*

Damon: You think I forgot what happened at the cooking show?

Me: Is that even allowed!

Stefan: *tackles Damon* When are you going to learn!

Audience: *Cries*

Stefan and Damon: *Clothes start to rip off while fighting*

Me: *Eating popcorn* That's hot

* * *

This makes me want to make a Hannah Montana fanfic, staring Damon as Hannah Montana. Will this story end with them fighting all the time? Depends on the shows their on.

I want to thank archykinz, NykkiLeighVampireHeart (Who wants to help me with this story. I'm really greatful!), iamnotavampire2 (my personal stalker! Yay! Is that weird that I'm happy I got a stalker?), MysticO, and doodlechick2 for the reviews. Send some of your ideas or heck make some of your own. No skin off of my peaches. Alright wish me luck in the contest I entered, it a twilight thing, sooooo…yay! Peace, love, and yummy chocolate!


	3. Fun with Barney

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Barney

Damon: You're kidding me, right?

Stefan: *Shakes his head*

Barney: I love you!

Damon: *Twitch* The hell!

Barney: Give me a great big hug!

Damon: Pfft, stay away from me you over grown lizard.

Barney: Aw… Let me help you wash away all that sadness *Trys to give Damon a hug*

Damon: *Kicks him* Stay…away…from…ME!

Stefan: *chuckles*

Barney: *Dust himself off* That was really mean, you need a time out.

Damon: Stick to children. * Trys to walk away but Barney grabs him*

Barney: You and your brother need to hug!

Damon & Stefan: What?

Barney: *Pushes Damon into Stefan and they both fell* O.O

Damon kissed Stefan!

Damon: *pushes himself up and wipes his lips* YOU'RE DEAD!

Stefan: *Gets up and wipes his lips* This is the only thing I will agree with you with.

Barney: B-But I Love *Gets grabbed by Damon*

Damon: *Smirk* You should have run.

Damon & Stefan: *Beats up Barney*

* * *

Well that was fun. It's kinda weird, I use to like Barney but now he looks like a purple pedophile to me now (I think I pissed off Barney fans!).

I want to thank iamnotavampire2, Rougue Assasin (love your ideas), doodlechick12, citigirl, and anneryn7(thanks for the luck!) for reviews! I wuv you all! I want to do American idol, what song should the boys sing? Plz review! Peace, love, and chocolate!


	4. The Next American Idol is

Shows They Can't Do Together?

American Idol!

Ryan Seacrest: That was a lovely ballet from Stefan!

Back stage.

Damon: How can you make Linkin Park a ballet?

Stefan: Stop being a sore loser.

Ryan: So the next person who's going to sing for us is…Damon Salvatore!

Crowd cheers!

Ten minutes later.

Ryan: Damon, are you going to sing?

Damon: Nope!

Ryan: *confused* How are you in Ellen's seat?

Damon: The little blonde elf wanted to go dancing in the aisles *Points at Ellen dancing*

Ellen: Can't…stop…dancing!

Simon: Who the hell do you think you are?

Damon: *Smirks* The guy who has you on film when your fighting with your darling Ryan.

Ryan: *Blushes* I'm s-straight

Damon: *cocks head to the side* Really? Well I can show it on the big screen. The bad boy and the fairy making out. Your little fights are cute? *evil smile*

Simon: *Blushes* I'm getting married!

Damon: *dangles a remote with two fingers* Fine, I press play.

On screen

Ryan: Baby you were a little too rough on my today.

Simon: I'm sorry Darling. *Grabs Ryan and make out*

Crowd: O.O

Randy and Kara: O.O

Damon: Tsk, Tsk, Tsk! To think that you would get caught so easily!

Ryan: *Cries and runs off the stage*

Simon: Ryan! *Runs after Ryan*

Stefan: Did you really do that?

Damon: Ha! I didn't want to sing Lady Gaga.

Stefan: You could have dazzled them.

Damon: But this was much more fun!

Stefan: *Slaps forehead*

Damon:*Laughs at all the chaos*

* * *

I don't really watch American Idol anymore. To me it got boring, it's probably just me cause I have a really short attention span and the commercials pop up a lot. But I do still watch the auditions cause they're fun. I love the Pants on the Ground song. That song was made for my brother. And I think Ryan and Simon belong together! I thought I was the only person who thought that but my mom proved me wrong.

I want to thank anneryn7, citigirl13, iamnotavampire2, Kara.R.K, VampireExpert101, melzdog123, archykinz, Rougue Assasin, and dirtdevil76 for the reviews!

But why do I have a feeling Damon would really do all that just to get out of singing? *Shrugs* Guess what's next!


	5. ScoobyDoo! Damon and Stefan too!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Scooby-Doo

Damon: Why am I dressed in this baggy ass green shirt?

Stefan: At least you're not wearing an ascot.

Scooby-Doo: Ro No!

Daphne: What's wrong Scooby-doo?

Damon: *Points at Daphne* Who's the hot chick?

Stefan: *Shrugs*

Scooby: Rhere ra Roast!

Damon: *Confused* The hell….

Stefan: A ghost is here.

Damon: *Narrows eyes* You…speak…dog?

Stefan: Doesn't take a rocket scientist to know what its saying.

Damon: *Points at Scooby* That's a talking dog!

Stefan: And you're a vampire. Nothing really surprises me anymore.

Velma: It's the ghost of Old Man Timmy! *Points at the ghost*

Damon: Who is the boy? * Points at Velma*

Velma: *growls* I'm a girl!

Ghost:*…Doing what ghost do* Wooooooooo, I'm soooooo scary!

Damon: *Twitch* Really….That's suppose to be scary. *Taps Stefan* We'll give you true terror.

Stefan & Damon: *Open their mouths, showing their fangs and hiss*

Ghost: …. *Runs and hits a wall*

Stefan: That was stupid.

Damon: *Turns to Daphne* Now where were we? Ever been wit…*gets hit in the head, then turns to Stefan* What The Hell!

Stefan: *Places his hands up* Wasn't me.

Damon: Then who did?

Other Ghost: I ain't scared of no vampire *holding a metal bat*

Damon: *Grabs bat and hits him*

Stefan: Stop! You're killing him!

Damon: *Stops for a second, looks at him for a second, then hit the guy with the bat* I'm…not…killing…him…just…crumpling…him.

Stefan: *Sighs* I don't know why I bother.

Scooby: Rou Real Rith Rhis Rll Rhe Rhyme?

Stefan: *Nods* Sadly, yes.

* * *

I kinda wanted to do a Supernatural one but I don't know how to start it.

Damon: Hello!

Hey get off here! This is my psycho babble time!

Damon: I want more screen time.

No! Go away!

Damon: I don't want people to think I'm just some guy with anger management problems

*Twitch* Too late for that. I really want to thank people for giving me reviews and reading my story!

Damon: *Grabs Me* I said more… screen… time.

{H-he's too close.}

Damon: *Whispers in ear* Please Ch-ar-ity

I-I *faints and falls on the ground*

Stefan: Did you dazzle her?

Damon: Pfft. The kid fainted on her own.

Stefan: We can at least thank the people for reading this.

Damon: Don't see the point

Stefan: *elbows him in the stomach*

Damon: *Growls* Fine

Stefan: We want to thank melzdog123…

Damon: *raises eyebrow* Dancing with the stars?

Stefan: We don't need your in tell. Okay, want to thanks to kisswithabyte and imnotavampire2.

Damon: The first one got a cute name… wait she has a stalker?

Stefan: Yep. Says it on her review.

Damon: *Blows a kiss* Long as she doesn't stalk me it's cool.

Stefan: *mumble* Kinda doubt that.

Damon: Huh?

Stefan: Also anneryn7, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, Vampire Princess 900, and dirtdevil76.

Damon: Yes, thank you all for reviewing her weird stories. There will be no Lady Gagaing anytime soon. Since we're controlling it now we should do ask Damon thing.

Stefan: *Narrows his eyes* No.

Damon: Come one, you take the fun out of everything.

Stefan: If she wakes up she'll but us in a weird show.

Too late! We're doing Wipeout.

Damon: You're kidding me!

Nope! We'll also do The Moment of Truth too. *sticks out tongue*

Damon: I liked you better when you were passed out.

Stefan: *Sighs* Told ya.

See ya next time! Peace, love and chocolate!


	6. The truth of red balls

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Wipeout!

Announcer: Here at the starting gate is Stefan Salvatore.

Stefan: *Runs down the Board*

In 2.6 seconds later.

Announcer:Huh? In 2.6 seconds he made it through the whole course! Now let's see if his brother can do the same.

Damon: This it stupid. I'm not doing this.

Announcer: But don't you want to beat your brother?

Damon: *smirks* Fine but don't say I didn't warn you.

A few minutes later

Announcer: O.O

Crowd: O.O

Damon: *walks past the announcer* Told you.

Announcer: *screams* HE BROKE THE BIG RED BALLS!

Stefan: *twitch* Really?

Damon: I did it didn't I?

Announcer: *still screaming* WHY OUR BALLS GOD WHHHHHHHHHHYYYYY!

Stefan: *Punches Damon in the back of the head* Did you really have to do that?

Damon: *Rubs head* I just like ruining stuff.

* * *

The Moment of Truth

Announcer: Thank you for watching The Moment of Truth!

Crowd: *claps*

Announcer: Today we have Damon playing the game. Will he lie or will he tell the whole truth.

Damon: Why am I being tied to the chair? I'm pretty sick of announcers. Are you related to the one from Wipeout?

Announcer: Yes, but he committed suicide. Those balls were his life.

Damon: O.O Oh!

Stefan: *sighs and slaps forehead*

Damon: Let's just do this.

Announcer: First Question. Damon Salvatore is that your real name?

Damon: *Narrows eyes* Yes.

Announcer: Is it true?

Damon: Yes!

Announcer: Yes it true!

Damon: No duh.

Announcer: The next question. Did you ever kiss Stefan?

Damon: O.O You're kidding me right?

Announcer: Nope, the person who writes the question is a guy on guy fan.

Damon: *Looks at me*

Nope it's not me!

Damon: Liar.

Announcer: Will you answer?

Damon: I didn't kiss my brother!

Announcer: Is it true?

Damon: The hell! Why would I kiss Stefan!

Announcer: Well you got it wrong!

Damon: WHAT! *Rips himself from the chair and grabs the announcers collar*

Announcer: B-but what about the Barney incident.

Damon: *Thinks about it, then throws up on the Announcer*

Announcer: O.O !

* * *

1st Announcer 1972- 2010 (He always cared about his balls.)

Hope you enjoyed it, even thought I killed off a character and I don't think Damon's done with Barney yet. Some memories are best left alone. I just love messing with Damon, so next is *dum dum duuuuuuuuuum* Dancing with the Stars! Yay!

I want to thank anneryn7, archykinz, Rougue Assasin, dirtdevil76, melzdog, Bonnie4eva x, BereniceAndrea, and my official stalker *YAY* iamnotavampire2!


	7. Dancing with Stefan and Damon

Show They Can't Do Together!

Dancing with the Stars!

Damon: Lucky bastard, you got Pamela Anderson.

Stefan: Who did you get?

Damon: Some chick named Sasha.

Pamela: Come on Stefan! Let's Dance! *shakes hips*

Stefan: Got to go! *leaves Damon*

Damon: Pfft! I bet Sasha is hotter. *get's tapped on the shoulder*

Sacha: Hello!

Damon: *turns around* O.O THE HELL!

* * *

Tom: That was a lovey dance from Stefan Salvatore and Pamela Anderson!

Pamela: Thank you! *blows kisses*

Tom: Next is an unbelievable pair. One is a very grumpy man and the other is a funny man from the big screen. Doing the Waltz to Aerosmith's 'Don't want to miss a thing'. Here comes Damon Salvatore and Sacha Baron Cohen!

*music starts playing*

Damon: *on the other side of the room* I'm not dancing with that! *points at Sacha*

Sacha: What? *wearing a suit without a back*

Damon: I can see your pink ass!

Sacha: Don't you want to win some money for Charity?

Damon: *twitch* Which one, cause there's a fan girl I'm going to kill.

O.O

Sacha: The Heart Charity.

Damon: Pfft! The only way I will dance with you is if you were a hot girl. *Looks around* And you don't look like you have an inney.

Sacha: *Runs to Damon* Catch me!

Damon: *Runs away* No, stay away from me or I'll kill you!

Sacha: At least I didn't kiss my brother!

After Ten Minutes.

Damon: *Grabs Sacha and throws him in the crowd*

Crowd: O.O! *screams*

Damon: F*k Dancing with the stars, F*k the crappy dancing, F*k ABC, and F*k YOU SACHA!

Everyone: O.O!

Pamela: Are you going to get your brother?

Stefan: Pfft, nope.

Damon: *Grabs the judge's table and throws it at the camera*

This TV show is in an intermission.

Damon: *Picks up the camera and throws it at Sacha*

Please enjoy these pictures of puppies.

* * *

Thank you for reading my story! I got 51 reviews and 1,279 hits so far! It's all thanks to you guys.

-: Get her

Huh? *looks around then shrugs* Not this again. Damon? Stefan?

-: Bye Charity

Huh? *Gets grabbed by two guys* What! W-who are you!

-: You don't know? You watch my show all the time.

*Thinks* I don't know!

-: I'll give you a clue. I'm just a sweet little girl.

*Mouth drops* Mandy! From The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?

Mandy: Yes and I'm taking your story over.

What?

Mandy: It's under my control.

All you have to do is ask!

Mandy: I do not ask, I take.

Damon, Stefan! Help me.

Damon: Pfft, what you do for me?

Stefan!

Stefan: …..

Stefan I love you…99%

Stefan: Where's the 1%

…That doesn't matter now! Save me!

Mandy: I'll cut you a deal, sent these two idiots don't look like that have remorse for you.

*cries* O-Okay

Mandy: If someone types in Mandy is Queen twenty times then I'll let you go.

But that impossible! We can't type that many words in the review boxes!

Mandy: Fine then three times and I'll let you go.

Please! Save me!

Mandy: Before it's too late. She will die.

O.O *cries* I'ms goona toooooo Diiiiiee!

Mandy: Yes then I'll take over the world.

Damon: Yeah, like one fan girl is stopping you.

Yeah….like he said. But can I at least thank them for reading. *fake smile*

Mandy: *glares at me* You're asking too much but okay. It might be your last words.

*Gulps* I-I want to thank imnotavampire2, archykinz, SouthernHemmy, anneryn7, future , tast3the3RAiiNBOW, melzdog *Thanks for the idea*, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, Rougue Assasin, Vampire Princess 900, bobeano23, dirtdevil76, citigirl13, and BereniceAndrea. Please save me! Please type in Mandy is Queen!

Mandy: Or I'll start with her hands.

Wwwhhhyyyeee!


	8. Bum Bum Bum GLEE!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

GLEE!

Will Schuester: Okay kids I want to sing a song that if based on yourselves.

Rachel: Well, I know what I'm going to sing.

Damon: *Throws a piece of paper at her* Shut up!

Rachel: *Glares at Damon* Who are you to go against individuality?

Damon: When it got annoying *Throws a paper at her face*

Will: Well Damon, why don't you sing for us?

Damon: No.

Stefan: Just sing the song Damon.

Damon: Why don't you sing Barbie Girl. Pfft that fits you so well.

Stefan: Go to hell!

Kurt: Come on you two. Your brothers *Looks dreamily at Damon*

Damon: I'll…break…your…leg!

Mercedes: Hey! Leave him alone.

Damon: Shut up you….

Will: Hey, Hey, Hey. If you don't stop fighting we'll have to sing a friendly song.

Damon: Up…Yours…Schuester!

Sue: That's what I said but he would enjoy it too much.

Damon: Who's the guy?

Sue: *Glares at Damon* The guy that's going to whoop your butt, you twilight wannabe.

Damon: Hey! I've been here way before twilight!

Sue: Pfft. Next thing you know you'll be broody and go through and emo faze that makes you like a girl then your heroine. *Looks at Stefan*

Stefan: When are you going to die!

Damon: F*K you, you old bat!

Sue: But this bat won this argument. *walks away*

Everyone: O.O She good.

Will: Come on let's sing Don't Stop Believing

Damon: *Grabs a guitar and starts smashing stuff* No! NO SINGING! LEAVE THE ORGINALS ALONE! YOU F*KING SUCK!

Rachel: Well if you think that…

Damon: *Points at her* SAY ONE MORE THING AND I WILL PUNCH YOU! YOU'RE SO ANNOYING!

Finn: Come on man calm down.

Puck: Yeah Before I punch you in the face.

Damon: *Gives them the evil eye* DIE!

Ten minutes later

Principal: O.O

Will: L-let me explain.

Principal: How can you explain this! The school is caught on FIRE!

Stefan: Damon you went to far this time.

Damon: *Frowns* If they are going to do a cover make sure that it's good.

* * *

YAY! I'm alive but only to people even cared about me but oh well. I love glee but not always in love we their music choice but that's probably just me.

Stefan: We weren't going to let you die.

Damon: I was.

Stefan: Well…that's just Damon.

Mandy: Fine I'll let you go…this time.

Creepy little girl.

Mandy: Oh yeah, you will write a story about me called Mandy vs. Damon. I won't let anyone get in my way of my world order.

There's a difference between you and Damon. Damon is just crazy but you…you are just pure evil.

Mandy: That's the way I like it.

Okay! I want to thank melzdog123 and iamnotavampire2 for saving me! I wuv you guys! I want to thank melzdog123 *again*, , dirtdevil76, and my stalker iamnotavampire2*again* for the reviews.

Mandy: Blood, guts, and skulls

Heh, heh that was not close to my saying. It's Peace, love, and chocolate.

Mandy: Whatever!

Thanks for the idea dirtdevil76!


	9. Teletubbie madness

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Teletubbies!

Damon: *left eye twitches* What is this?

Stefan: I….I really don't think I want to know.

Tinky Winky: Eh-oh? Tinky Winky?

Damon: Why is it purple? Do you understand it?

Stefan: No.

Damon: Yet you understand dog.

Stefan: Shut up.

Laa-Laa: *giggles* Laa-Laa!

Damon & Stefan: You're kidding me.

Dispy: Dispy! Tubby Tustard?

Damon: It looks like a green dick is on its head.

*They start singing*

Stefan: If another one of these pops up I think I'm finally going to snap.

Damon: Huh?

Po: Eh-oh! Tinky Winky, Dispy, Laa-Laa!

Damon: *Turns to Stefan* Stefan?

Stefan: *Turns on a chainsaw* Their dead.

Damon: O.O What? How you get a chainsaw?

Stefan: The purple one is first. *Catches after Tinky Winky*

Damon: *Claps* I finally rubbed off on him. *Turns head to Laa-Laa* But It's more fun to do it with your hands.

* * *

Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoy my story! It's been a long time since I've watched this show. When I was younger I was all over the teletubbies just like I was with Barney. But when I got older I got the more I realize how creepy they are. Their like Barney but after babies. Ew! Anyways I want to do a movie version on this but a problem popped up. I don't know who to use. I want to use the Salvatore brothers but I want to use the Winchester boys too. But when I told them, this happened.

Damon: Of course you're going to use us. We've pretty much brought you a whole bunch of fans.

Dean: But we can bring you fans who are not vampire freaks.

Damon: Why don't you go back to hell pretty boy.

Dean: Up yours, you twilight reject.

Sam: Can't we share it, I mean it's enough room for both of us right?

Damon & Dean: Wrong! I'm not sharing with him! *Points at the other*

Stefan: Have the same type of brother I do?

Sam: He kinda soften up a bit.

Damon and Dean start fighting.

Stefan & Sam: *Sigh*

Come on guys! Break it up! We'll let the fans decide!

Damon and Dean stops and looks at me.

That's fair.

Dean: *Mumbled* Fine. *Flicks off Damon*

Damon: *Mumbles* Whatever. *Throws a apple at Dean*

Damon & Dean: You Bastard! *Fights*

O.O You guys get to decide who gets the story!

Okay I want to thank TeamDamonRox, iamnotavampire2, melzdog123, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov, Kara.R.K, Annie Cullen xx, dirtdevil76, and Vampire Princess 900 for reviews. Peace, love, and chocolate. Thank for for idea iamnotavampire2!


	10. Stick with Damon and Stefan

Shows They Can't Do Together

Phineas and Ferb

Stefan: *Wipes off the blood from his cheek* Where are we now?

Damon: Don't know, but it has to be better than the last place.

Phineas: Hey, guys. What are you doing?

Stefan & Damon: Huh?

Phineas: You guys are kinda standing in our yard.

Stefan: Oh!

Phineas: It's cool, but can we get some help with the heavy lifting. Buford can't do it much longer.

Buford: W-What a-re ou *Faints*

Damon: I'm not doing sh….*Gets punched in the stomach by Stefan*

Stefan: Okay, *Through his teeth* Right Damon.

Damon: Why should I…*Gets punched again* Do it again! I dare you!

Phineas: Okay, let's do it.

Five hours later.

Phineas: Okay Ferb, everyone we're done.

Damon: You're freaking kidding me.

Phineas: I kid you not! This is the future. *Holds a remote in his hands*

Damon: We built a remote. A Remote. Nice going there Stefan. *Kicks him in the leg*

Stefan: *Punches him in the face*

Damon & Stefan: *Fight*

Phineas: Look guys it works!

Damon & Stefan: *Stops fighting and looks up* Whoa!

An amusement park full of kids appeared.

Damon: *Twitch* Too...many…kids!

Stefan: How the heck did it become this?

Candace: OOOHHH! Just wait till I tell mom! *pulls out a pink cell phone*

Damon: Who's the loud, annoying, giraffe?

Phineas: She's my older sister Candace!

Damon: *Mumble* I hate kids.

Candace: MOM! MOM! PHINEAS AND FERB ARE….

Damon: *Takes the phone and breaks it* A…nno…ying!

Stefan: Stop!

Damon: Go Away!

Candace: It's gone! Darn it!

Damon & Stefan: O.O THE HELL!

Candace: You see! I go through this every day!

Damon: Pfft! Kid give it up. You're not going to win.

Candace: I know.

Phineas: Oh there you are Perry.

Ferb: Am I the only one that noticed Edward Cullen is here? *Looks at Stefan*

Stefan: *Twitch* I'm not Edward.

Damon: *Burst out laughing* Sprinkle, sprinkle, shine, shine, Bitch! Go out into the sun and show how gay you are. Next thing you know your going to be brooding over a girl…oops… too…late!

Stefan: BITE ME!

Damon: *Evil smirk* Make me!

Stefan & Damon: *Fighting*

Everyone: O.O!

Phineas & Ferb: *Covers each others eyes*

Candace: *With video camcorder* I'm putting this on you tube!

* * *

I hope you like it. I haven't seen this show in a long, long time ago. I had to go wiki on this! So I thought it out and said, 'Hey can't I just do a demo on the movie version of this, then you guys can vote that way.' So I did. It'll be here soon. I did the Salvatore brothers, The Winchester boys, Dean & Damon, and Stefan & Sam so I can't wait to show you guys. I would have had them all together but I have something else in mind for them.

I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, iamnotavampire2, BereniceAndrea *Thanks for the idea!*, pawprints25, dirtdevil76, Rougue Assasin, Vampire Princess 900, citigirl13, Kara.R.K, TeamDamonRox, and NykkiLeighVampireHeart for reviews.

Peace, love and yummy…vampire? O.O Sorry, my mind was in a very dirty place.


	11. The reason why Damon hates kids

Shows They Can't Do Together

The Simpsons

Damon: This…Why does this look familiar?

Stefan: You probably watched it with one of your whores.

Damon: At least I don't have to use my hand.

Bart: Yo Dudes!

Damon: Why does it always have to be a kid!

Bart: Have you seen Amanda?

Stefan & Damon: Amanda?

Bart: Yeah Hugankiss

Damon: *Twitch*

Stefan: Amanda Hugandkiss?

Bart: Bwahahaha!

Damon: You just walked into that one, didn't you *Laughs*

Stefan: Oh shut up!

Damon: You know I've always teased you about being gay, but if you are then do what you like and leave Elena to me.

Stefan: Up yours, and guess who's talking!

Damon: What is that suppose to mean?

Stefan: *Hugs himself* To think that you love me like that is creepy.

Damon: *Twitches* YOU BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU! *tackles Stefan*

Lisa: *Walks over to Bart* Who are they?

Bart: Don't know but they're fun to watch. *Watches them roll around on the ground*

Marge: Oh homey! Look their fighting on our yard! Please stop it!

Homer: Fine, fine! *Walks over to them* Hey! Stop!

Damon: *Gets off Stefan and grabbed Homer by the collar* Stay…out…of…this! *Throw him to the side*

Stefan: Yeah go mess with innocent people and bring them into your mess

Damon: What are you my mother!

Lisa: You guys have a lot of issues that…

Damon: Talking doesn't solve anything….violence does

Bart: *Throws a ball at Damon's head* Well you both suck. You make Edward look cool.

Damon: Throw another ball at me again!

Bart: Fine. *Throws water balloons at him*

Damon: *Through teeth* I'm…going…to…kill…you!

Bart: *Hops on skateboard* Come catch me first fart breath! *Skates away*

Damon: *Screams* SEE THAT WHY I DON'T LIKE KIDS!

Stefan: Cause they act just like you?

Damon: YEAH…I mean no. I don't act like that!

Stefan: *Shakes head* Denial.

Damon: Well I'm not being compared to Edward all the time!

Stefan: It's better than being a crazy vampire with ex-girlfriend issues!

Damon: Who the hell are you to talk? I mean Elena looks like Katherine! Ass.

Lisa: You guys have a lot of issues.

Bart: *Comes back and whack Damon in the leg with a wooden stick* Vampire my butt!

Damon: That's it. *Chases after Bart* Die*

Bart: Catch me first. *rolls away* Sucker! To think that vampires had powers, maybe he's the stupid one

Damon: Shut up!

* * *

I love this show but it's been a while since I've watched this. To tell you the truth I haven't been watching TV as much. But I do watch Pretty Little Liars…on my computer and anime stuff. Cause if I don't see anime then I have a nervous break down! Really…you should see me without. Next is Jerry Springer! *please thank SouthernHemmy for the idea*

So I'm bringing in some characters from TVD. Let's see what happens.

I want to thank SouthernHemmy, Heart-Broken-In-Love, dirtdevil76, Rougue Assasin, Vampire Princess 900, iamnotavampier2, VampireExpert101, TeamDamonRox, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, and BereniceAndrea for reviews! Peace, love, and chocolate!


	12. Today on Jerry Springer

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Jerry Springer!

Damon: Yeah I could see myself on here.

Stefan: Slut.

Jerry Springer: Hello and welcome to today's episode of Jerry Springer. Today's show is about two brothers that fall in love with the same women. Please welcome Damon and Stefan Salvatore.

Crowd: *Claps*

Jerry Springer: So you two are brothers who are vampires…

Damon: How do you know this?

Jerry Springer: Because I'm Jerry Springer *in demonic voice* I know everything.

Damon: Ooooooooooooh shit!

Jerry Springer: So you both fell in love with two women.

Damon: I wouldn't say love, like that….

Jerry: *Stares at him*

Damon: Fine I liked them…a lot.

Stefan: Unlike him I won't deny it.

Jerry: So you guys fell in love at the same time.

Damon: Well with Katherine…

Jerry: Let's bring her out!

Damon: *Growls*

Katherine: *walks out* I'm pregnant.

Stefan & Damon: ….WHAT! CAN WE EVEN DO THAT!

Katherine: Yes.

Elena: *Runs out* What! You Bitch! I'm pregnant too.

Stefan: WHAT! *Turns head to Damon*

Damon: *Places hands up* I didn't do it.

Bonnie: *Runs out* I'm pregnant too!

Stefan: *Twitch*

Damon: Okay I might have did that one….but we were both really wasted. Or maybe it was just her. I really don't remember.

Jerry: Tsk, Tsk. So many women.

Stefan: *Twitch* Something is really off here.

Damon: Huh?

Stefan: *Jumps off the stage and throws a punch at Jerry*

Jerry: *Dodges and kicks him in the stomach* Heh!

Stefan: *Flies back and hits the strip pole*

Damon: What! How the hell are you?

Jerry: *Takes off glasses* I'm Jerry Springer. *Everyone else disappears*

Damon: We…know. What are you?

Jerry: *Demonic voice* The ruler of this realm.

Damon: Got damn it! This is supposed to be a comedy! Not this…

Jerry: *Jumps on stage* I've been here for a million years; you little Twilight bitches have no hopes in defeating me.

Damon: *Points at Jerry* STOP COMPARING ME TO TWILIGHT! *Runs and throws a punch*

Jerry: *Catches it and throw him aside* Weak.

Stefan: Found your weak spot *Sprays water on him*

Jerry: *Screams* AAAAAHHH! I'M MELTING, MELTING!

Stefan: Thanks for being decoy.

Damon: Screw you. *pants* I just wanted to hit him.

Stefan: I think I finally saved TV from trashy programming.

Jerry: Guess what?

Stefan & Damon: O.O AW SHIT!

Jerry: I'M BACCCCKKKK! *scary music plays in the background*

* * *

Hello! I…

Damon: Read the paper.

Huh?

Damon: Read…the…paper. NOW!

*Reads the paper out loud* Next time I'm taking a break, so I will let Damon answer your questions. *Twitch* Really? Cause I wanted to do Boondocks next.

Damon: Do you want your heart to be still be in your chest?

*Reads the paper* So please give good questions or Damon will come in your room and drain you of blood.

Stefan: You are stupid.

Damon: Hey I want to answer questions. So let me have my got damn fun!

But threatening the readers…that's not cool.

Damon: Says the 'Do Not Interrupt me when I'm talking to myself' wallpaper on her phone.

It catches my character!

Damon: Yep, the crazy Twilight basher.

I bash it out of love! I still watch the movies and I read the comic. I can't read the book because the words start to bend after a few hours and I throw up.

Damon:*Twitch* We are still doing this. So ask me questions and I'll answer them. If you have a problem I'll find Jacob Black and stuff him.

O.O NNOOO! I LOVE HIM!

Damon: So no one will have problems with this. That includes you, you werewolf freak.

*Nods* Next time is ask Damon. I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, iamnotavampire2, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, dirtdevil76, BereniceAndrea, and for reviews. Thank you for reading and remember to save Jacob Black!

Damon: Why the hell should they care, I might as well go after Edward too.

Noooo! Not Edward!

Damon: Why not?

Who am I going to make fun of?

Damon: Stupid.

Peace, love and

Damon: *pushes me out the way* and Me!

Stefan: *Sighs* You're so full of yourself.


	13. Ask Damon!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Ask Damon!

Damon: So how many questions I have to answer?

Ten.

Damon: O.O That's all? That some bull…

Well at least you have some to answer.

Damon: True, so on with the show.

Huh? Where's Stefan?

Damon: Don't care.

Stefan: *in the corner, mutters* I need a cigarette.

Okay the first one comes from kazumixheartless and she writes, "Why are you so mean to Charity?"

Damon: *takes the paper from her hand and balls it up* Your questions don't matter. *Throws it at her head*

Ow!

Damon: On to the next one and it better be real.

Okay! This comes from future , it reads "Okay Damon, if you are making fun of her wallpaper, what is the wallpaper on yours?"

Damon: Your mom.

Damon! That's not cool!

Damon: Fine, fine. Don't have a cow. I have a flaming, bloody skull.

Stefan: That's a lie!

Huh? What do you mean it's a lie?

Stefan: Check his phone. *toss a phone at her*

Damon: How you get my phone?

*Catches it and flips it open* O.O *Looks at Damon then back at the phone* Your kidding me.

*on the screen a Stefan voodoo doll with pins sticking out*

Stefan: You're so childish.

Damon: Shut up sprinkle.

OOOkkkay, let's go to the next one. SouthernHemmy writes, "Can you moonwalk?"

Damon: Actually SouthernHemmy I invented it but that bastard Michael Jackson stole it from me. Damn child touching bastard stole my dance, I hope he rots in hell.

You can't talk about the dead like that!

Damon: *points at himself* I'm the living dead pretty much. So I can do whatever the hell I want and talk about the dance stealing bastard anyway I want. What is he gonna do, haunt me. I f*king kick a ghost!

*Blinks a few times* On to the next?

Damon: *Folds him arms* Thinking about it pisses me off. Burn in hell Michael!

Ammm….Rougue Assasin asked, Bonnie or Elena?

Damon: Can't I just have them both?

No, you can't and you have to say why you choose that person.

Damon: Pfft, fine! What is this Pokemon?

Stefan: Just answer the damn question!

Damon: Fine! It would be Elena, why? Because I want to bite her and in my books that means I like her a lot.

That… doesn't really make sense.

Damon: I said bite not kill. Nuff said.

*Sighs* I don't think we should leave the question like that.

Damon: Screw you, now read the next one, cause Jacob is sitting at home watching TV.

-: Stay away from Bonnie!

Me & Damon: Huh?

-: We don't need your evilness staining her! Witches Unite!

O.O

Damon: Is that a Bonnie fan girl?

Who knows but I'm kinda happy you didn't choose Bonnie.

Damon: *narrow his eyes* Why?

*Stares at him for second* Nuff said. Poor little witchy.

Damon: What the hell does that mean!

On to the next one…

Damon: Hey! Listen when I'm talking to you!

BereniceAndrea ask, "Are you going to kiss Stefan again?"

Damon: *Twitch* Your kidding me…right?

Nope, she wants to know. *Smiles*

Damon: NO! NO WAY IN HELL!

That means soon.

Damon:*looks at me* I'll destroy you!

When are you going after Barney again?

Damon: I'm…GOING TO KILL THAT PURPLE PEDOPHILE!

I swear…this guy has A.D.D.

Damon: It will be soon. Swift and merciless.

Would you rather have Edward Cullen as your brother?

Damon: Those two are kinda the same. They both got that I'm so ugly, I'm hot look.

Stefan: Shut up.

Damon: Well if you put Stefan outside and throw sprinkles on him that makes them look alike.

Stefan: *twitch*

Damon: But all kidding aside I would rather have Edward as a brother because I would make him my bitch. I mean what is he going to do, get shiny on me. Yeah he can read my mind but I can kick him in the balls.

Okay, now it's anneryn7's turn! She writes, "Why do you care so much about Katherine and Elena? You can do so much better!"

Damon: I really don't know.

I think I can answer that!

Damon: No! You wait till you get one of these!

When is that?

Damon: Never!

Oh well…he's an S!

Damon: What? Why the hell would you call me that?

Well if you look at the past then to the present you see that you like the emotional abuse. I mean you could have found another girl but you fell for Elena, the girl who looks like your ex lover and who is in love with your brother. Are you a tortured soul?

Damon: No.

Then why?

Damon: Because their hot. I have no idea where you got all that other crap from. I stick to the simple stuff kid.

Why do you hate Stefan?

Damon: Because he's a bitch. Next question.

Wow…Do you sing in the shower?

Damon: No!

Stefan: He's lying. I caught him singing Lady Gaga last night. Hell I even taped it.

Damon: *through teeth* Give…me…the…Damn…TAPE! *Tackles Stefan*

Stefan: Nope I'm putting this…on youtube!

Hahaha! Thank you for your questions and I hope you got something out of them because I didn't. So I want to thank future , SouthernHemmy, Rogue Assasin, BereniceAndrea, and anneryn7 for questions. And thank you guys for reading and giving me 111 reviews! I want to thank iamnotavampire2, Heart-Broken-In-Love, pawprints25, future , SouthernHemmy, Rougue Assasin, dirtdevil76, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, Vampire Princess 900, , BereniceAndrea, and anneryn7 for reviews! Say it with me guys! *looks back*

Damon: GIVE ME THE TAPE!*chases after Stefan*

Stefan: NEVER!

I guess I'm going to do it myself. Okay! PEACE, LOVE AND…*gets knocked over*

Damon: Gimme the damn tape!

Stefan: Nope!


	14. Damon vs Naruto!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Naruto!

Naruto: I'm going to be hokage! Believe it!

Damon: What is that?

Stefan: *Shrugs*

Naruto: *Points at himself* I'm a ninja!

Damon: No your not. Do you watch ninja movies? They are silent.

Kakashi: Well that is what you expect from Naruto.

Damon: *Jumps* THE HELL YOU COME FROM?

Stefan: *Sighs* And he calls himself a vampire.

Naruto: HOW DARE YOU CALL ME NOT A NINJA!

Damon: You're too loud, duh!

Naruto: Then fight me!

Damon: Fine, you loud orange flesh bag!

Kakashi: You deal with this too?

Stefan: *nods* Yep, but you probably got it worst.

Sakura: Sasuke! I love you!

Sasuke: If you're not my brother then I'm not interested in you.

Kakashi: I'm surprised that I didn't kill them yet. *Sighs*

Stefan: Same here.

Damon: *Disappeared and reappeared behind Naruto* DIE! *Punches*

Naruto: *Poof* HAHA!

Damon: *twitch*

Naruto: *Places fingers together* Kage Bunshin no Jutsu! *lots of narutos show up*

Damon: *Twitch* I hate kids!

Narutos: Bring it on!

Damon: *Smiles* Okay!

Stefan: Great.

Damon: *Grabs a tree and starts swinging* BWAHAHAHA! THIS IS FOR EVERY KID THAT GOT ON MY NERVES!

Kakashi: He looks like he's having fun.

Stefan: If you call that fun.

Naruto: Rasengan! *Hits Damon*

Everyone: O.O

Damon: *With a hole in his chest* I'm… GOING TO KILL YOU! *Scary smiley face*

Naruto: *Runs away* This isn't fun anymore!

Damon: *Chases after him* Yes it is! *Bleeding everywhere*

Stefan: Crap he finally snapped. STOP DAMON!

Kakashi: *Jumps behind Damon and put to fingers together* 1000 YEARS OF PAIN! *pushes his fingers to Damon's butt*

Damon: *Flying*

Stefan: O.O Did you rape him?

Kakashi: *blushes* Somewhat.

Damon: *Passes out*

Stefan: Never coming here again.

* * *

Hope you enjoyed it. Poor Damon! I want to say I'm sorry to future mrs. wayland because on the last chapter it didn't show her full user name. Please forgive meh. I use to watch Naruto but it didn't show it on cartoon network anymore. I couldn't watch it on the computer because…I was obsesses with another anime. The obsessed anime this month is Soul Eater, last time was Higurashi *Not for the faint of heart. Don't let the cute anime girls fool you.*

Rougue Assasin asked me which vampire bro I support. I like them both. Damon for his crazy wild ways and Stefan because he's just like me. I have an older brother like Damon and I want to kill him, choke him, and kill him again. So I support them both, they both bring something to the table. =)

Damon: That's a lie, the bitch couldn't decide.

*Twitch* It's true.

I want to thank anneryn7, BereniceAndrea, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, iamnotavampire2, Katie9431, SouthernHemmy, Rougue Assasin, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov, dirtdevil76, and Heart-Broken-In-Love for reviews. Thanks for reading. And I think Rougue Assasin if right, we should do a ask Stefan thing, so ask Stefan anything you want, no limits to questions.

Damon: This will be crap.

Stefan: Can it! *Smile at me* I would love to.

*Smiles back* His smile is like unicorns and candy.

Damon: *laughs* She called you gay.

Stefan: Shut up.

Thanks again. Peace!

Stefan: Love!

Damon: And Weed!

Stefan & Me: WHAT! O.O!

Damon: *Shrugs* I think I'm going to need it for the next episode.

Bye!


	15. Ask Stefan

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Ask Stefan!

Hello! Since ask Damon did so well we thought we can do an ask Stefan thing.

Stefan: Thank you for all your questions. *Smiles*

Damon: This is going to suck.

Stefan: Shut up!

anneryn7 ask, Do you think that there is a reason for Damon's anger problems? Or is he hiding some deep dark secret?

Stefan: Yes, well late at night he puts on a dress and sings to Miley Cyrus.

Damon: *Screams* THAT'S A GOT DAMN LIE! I DON'T WEAR A DRESS! IT'S A VERY LONG SHIRT! I JUST WASN"T WEARING ANY PANTS!

Stefan: You just gave yourself up. Fairy.

Damon: BURN! IN! HELL!

Okay…Would you eat a kitten?

Stefan: I wouldn't.

What do you sing? Or are you a Gaga fan yourself?

Stefan: He's a good looking guy. He's like that little girl Justin Bieber.

O.O I think he just made a joke.

Damon: Lady Gaga is a woman and Justin is a…not sure what he/she is.

*Sighs* Justin's a boy.

Stefan & Damon: Why should we care?

*Shake head* On to the next, future writes, If you had a pet what would it be?

Stefan: *Thinks*

Damon: It'll probably be a fairy.

Stefan: I already have a pet. *Points at Damon*

Damon: *Twitch* I F**KING HATE YOU.

Stefan: But you're such a good dog.

Damon: *Tackles Stefan* YOU BITCH!

Ahem, let's take a small break.

*Lots of noise in the background*

Crap. I think they broke something.

* * *

You guy …done.

Stefan & Damon: *shirtless* Yes

*Faints*

Dean: Fine I'll help her out.

Damon: *Points at Dean* How the hell you get here?

Dean: I can do whatever I want. Besides me and Sam broke up.

Stefan: You two act more like a couple than brothers.

Dean: No wonder there's so many slashes of us together.

Damon: I don't even read ours, but I bet half of them are with him on top. *Thinks about it then pukes*

Dean: *Shakes head* Let's get on with the show! SouthernHemmy ask, What do you do or say that really makes Damon *Twitch* and did *Laughs* Damon…. ever suck his thumb? *Laughs harder*

Damon: *growls*

Stefan: If I touch him it looks like he's having a seizure. *Pokes Damon in the arm*

Damon: *Twitch* Don't touch me.

Stefan: Watch this. *pokes him with vampire speed*

Damon: *Twitches all over* STOP IT!

Stefan: And yes he sucks his thumb, when he thinks no one is watching.

Damon: *Twitch* What is this? Bash Damon day?

Dean & Stefan: *Smirks* Somewhat.

Damon: *Mumble random things*

I-I'm back. I kinda died back there.

Damon: Go back to being dead, I like you better that way.

D-Dean's here?

Dean: Hello!

H-hi.

Dean: I'm reading questions, do you want it back?

*Shakes head* Do whatever you want!

Dean: Alright. Heart-Broken-In-Love asks, What would you do if Barney couldn't die?

Stefan: *Looks over at Damon* He's your mortal enemy.

Damon: This is you question thing.

Stefan: Fine, I'll just keep stabbing him till I get tired. Then pop his eyes out of his skull. *sweet smile*

O.O I want to see that.

Damon: Pfft, sadists.

Stefan: You can't talk.

Dean: Twilight-jonasbrotherlover writes, What is the most embarrassing thing his ever done?

Stefan: Do we have time?

Damon: You tell them that and I will kill you!

Stefan: I'm a dead man anyway. He hugged me.

Damon: O.O

How is that embarrassing?

Stefan: While he was drunk he told me how much he loves me and I got it all on tape.

Dean: You like to record your brother.

Stefan: He does a lot of stupid stuff that his fans don't know about.

*Laughs* Are you for real? I want to see the tape.

Stefan: I don't lie…much. But that is too funny to make up.

I want to do this one! Vampire Princess 900 asks, If you and Damon got on with each other?

Stefan:? You? *looks at me*

*Shrugs*

Damon: Is she talking about what I think she's talking?

Stefan: Me and him or you and him?

Dean: I'm just as confused.

Damon: Please tell me she's talking about nerves, right?

I can see Damon as a bottom.

Damon: F**k That! You guys are nasty!

Stefan: And what if she meant you and Charity?

Damon: I doubt that but it's all in that kid's sick little mind.

Are you calling me a pervert?

Damon: Yes, who was the one that made me kiss Stefan?

…okay I admit it I'm a pervert.

Dean: Even I knew that.

BereniceAndrea asks, What do you like about being a vampire?

Stefan: You don't have to worry about being old and you know all the history from your time because you lived through it.

Damon: *Whispers* Charity?

Huh?

Damon: How many questioned did he answer already?

Ten, why?

Damon: How many left?

About one more.

Damon: That's some bull! I'm the favorite and he gets more questions.

There mostly about you.

Damon: They could have asked me!

*sighs* This is the last question.

Damon: Hey!

Who is better in bed, Elena or Katherine and why?

Damon: WHAT! NO ONE ASKED ME THAT!

Stefan: Hmm, between the two, it would have to be Elena. Even though she was human she could do things Katherine couldn't.

So, Elena's a freak?

Stefan: *Smirks* This is on T isn't it

Crap! I wanted to hear it! They the fun has just ended. I want to thank anneryn7, future , SouthernHemmy, Heart-Broken-In-Love, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, Vampire Princess 900, and BereniceAndrea for questions and reviews. I hope you got some answers that you liked.

I also want to thank pawprint25, Callieanndavis, lovelovelovejuliet, iamnotavampire2,

Dirtdevil76, and Cherise Brooklyn for reviews also. Peace!

Stefan: Love!

Damon: Me!

Dean: And kidnap!

Damon & Stefan & Me: What? O.o

Dean: *Grabs me and throws him over his shoulder* You owe me a story.

What! No! Kidnapping is bad! VERY, VERY BAD!

Dean: This isn't kidnapping. It's just taking a writer somewhere else, besides you'll have the writer with befit thing going on.

Okay, please kidnap me.

Damon: *Pulls my leg* She's not going anywhere, she still got to finish Miss Salvatore and this crappy story!

*Falls off Dean shoulder and gets arm pulled by Dean* Ow! I'm not a rag doll!

Dean: She knew about me longer! *Pulls*

Damon: Well she's my bitch now! *Pulls*

This would be so hot, if it wasn't so painful. SAVE ME STEFAN!

Stefan: *sighs*

Damon: You want to fight hunter?

Dean: I've been wanting a rematch?

Dean & Damon: *Throws me to Stefan* DIE! *Fights*

Stefan & Me: Not this again.

Bye! See you guys tomorrow!


	16. That's a bad girl

Shows They Can't Do Together!

America's Got Talent!

Nick: Hey and welcome to America's Got talent. I'm your host Nick Cannon.

Damon: Another talent show?

Nick: C-Can you be quite.

Damon: Pfft. I'm the judge and I say you suck at your job. *Presses the X button*

Nick: U-Um I'm just the Host.

Damon: BOOO! YOU SUCK!

Dean: Come on man, let the poor kid do his job.

Sam: Yeah, it's not like someone went over to you and said that you suck at being a vampire.

Damon: *Twitch* Is there something you trying to say?

Dean: Where's you brother?

Damon: Pfft. Like I care.

*Backstage*

Stefan: *Smokes*

*Judges table*

Sam: I can see why. Poor guy

Damon: Shut up!

Dean: Don't talk to my brother like that.

Nick: Okay! The first person is Rasa Jerkins.

*A Drag Queen walked out*

Damon: Whoa that a big drag queen.

Dean: Yeah.

Rasa: My name is Rasa Jerkins and I want to sing Poker Face by Lady Gaga. *Smiles then starts singing*

Damon: *slams hand on button*

Dean: *Presses the button before covering his ear*

Sam: *Looks confused*

Rasa: *Done singing*

Dean: That…was…horrible.

Damon: You're too soft on him. YOU SUCK! GET OFF THE STAGE BEFORE I KILL YOU!

Rasa: *Runs off crying*

Sam: Damon that was hash.

Damon: That bastard should have learned to sing before coming on here.

Dean: Chill out.

Damon: What?

Nick: Our next contestant is a little girl. *Looks at Damon* A…LITTLE…GIRL.

Damon: I care why?

Dean: *Stares at Damon* A kid?

Damon: Same to me.

Sam: *Sighs*

A little girl hops onto the stage.

Mimi: I'm Mimi Johnson and I want to show you what to do if a vampire attacks or talk's bad about you. *Glares at Damon*

Damon: Pfft. What are you, Mini Buffy?

Mimi beats up three grown men.

Dean & Sam: O.O

Damon: Pfft. Still don't care.

Mimi: *Pulls out a stake*

Damon: O.o

Mimi: *Smiles* There. *Then points at Damon*

Damon: Bite me you little bitch.

Mimi: Bring it.

Damon: *Jumps up but Dean grabs him* Let me go!

Dean: She's just a kid.

Damon: She just challenged me!

Mimi: Yeah let him go, he's just a pussy!

Dean: O.O!

Damon: DIE! *Pulls Dean away and jumps onto the stage*

Mimi: *Kicks Damon* Stupid Edward Copy!

* * *

Stefan: Huh? What did I miss?

Dean: Your brother getting his ass beat by a little girl.

Sam: Funny to watch:

Mimi: This is the ball crusher!

Damon: O.O! NOOOO!

Stefan: *Mutters under the breath* Dumbass.

* * *

Hello and I hope you enjoyed it. I came back from the Gay Pride Parade today and it was fun…till I got lost in a crowd and felt weird things pressed up against me but other then that it was a good time…good times. Lots of boobies and naked old dudes and other weird things I've never seen.

The next one will be Oprah, an idea that came from iamnotavampire2. Yay! I'm working on my first Supernatural fic, and I'm going to be in it…then I will kill myself in the story. So don't look at me like that. My friend wanted me to put myself as a character in a story besides this one for a while, so I'm doing it.

Damon: No.

Huh?

Damon: You're not going to do a fic for that crappy show. It sucks.

Dean: What you say vamp? Our show was on longer then yours.

Damon: And what? You want a brisket or something?

Dean: I'll stake your ass.

Damon: Bring it!

Why can't you two just get along?

Stefan & Sam: Because they act like each other.

Dean: Disgusting.

Damon: This is Dumb.

I wouldn't be surprised that you guys have a slash story. *Smiles*

Dean: What's that look? I don't like that look.

Damon: Crap, see what you did!

Anybody with me on this?

Dean & Damon: NO!

Too late! I'm doing it!

Dean & Damon: Crap!

I want to thank pawprint25, SouthernHemmy, Heart-Broken-In-Love, dirtdevil76, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, EllenIsIntoVampireDudes, Vampire Princess 900, BereniceAndrea, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, and future for reviews. Thxs for reading. Peace, love and Gay Pride! I think my eyes almost fell out of my head today from all the stuff I saw today.


	17. Damon talks about his feeling

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Oprah!

Oprah: Welcome back to the show. If you just tuned in, this segment is called, why I hate my brother.

Damon: The chairs are soft.

Stefan: Huh?

Oprah: Here we sit with Damon and Stefan Salvatore.

Audiences: *Clap*

Oprah: So Damon, why do you hate your brother?

Damon: Easy. He annoys the hell out of me with his goody two-shoes act. He acts like he's better then me.

Oprah: And Stefan, why do you think he feels this way.

Stefan: *Shrugs* I don't know why. I don't act like this just to show him up. This is how I've always acted.

Damon: LIAR! I want my little brother back! *Cries*

Stefan: O.O

Oprah: See we have a break through.

Stefan: This is so much out of character I don't know how to start.

Damon: *Wipes his eyes* We've always fight, we never really bonded. I miss when we were human.

Oprah: Stefan, he's really broken. Would you fix him up?

Stefan: *Raises eyebrow* I know Damon. He has ego bigger then Kanye West! Anger bigger then Mandy's and is very self- center. But he has always been this way for the longest. Now you're telling me this crybaby is my brother. Bull shit.

Oprah: O.O WHAT!

Stefan: I hated my brother. But I could stand him. Now look. *Points at Damon*

Damon: *Crying harder* He always hated me.

Stefan: I don't think I can take this.

Damon: *Crying* A-A-And I love me brother!

Stefan: …GIVE ME THE DAMN WHATEVER TO SHUT HIM UP!

Oprah: ALRIGHT! *Throws him a brownie*

Stefan: Thank you.

Damon: I Love My Brother Sooooo Much!

Stefan: *Grabs Damon* Eat.

Damon: Not unless you give me a hug.

Stefan: *Twitch then tackles* EAT!

Damon: Nooo!

Oprah: See the wonders of brotherly love.

Girl: That doesn't look like love, that looks like rape.

Stefan: Eat it or I'll focus it down your throat.

Damon: *Cries* Don't touch me there.

That's so hot.

Stefan: *Pins Damon and focuses him to eat it*

Damon: *Eating it*

Stefan: Good.

Damon:…*Pushes Stefan off* Were you trying to rape me!

Stefan: No.

Damon: Why does my mouth taste like ass?

Stefan: ….Ew.

Damon: What the hell is this and why am I crying!

Stefan: *Walks off the stage* I think I liked him better before.

Damon: Don't you walk away from me!

Stefan: *Ignores*

Damon: *Picks up a chair and throws it at Stefan*

Stefan: *Turns around*

Damon: DIE! *Jumps off the stage and tackles Stefan*

Oprah: They'll never come on this show again.

* * *

So much for talking about people's feelings. Guess what? Yep I'm getting sick. I almost lost me voice…which makes my mom really happy.

Damon: Me too.

Shut up. Oh! I got a question.

Damon: Huh?

When you and Dean fight, why don't you use your vampire powers to win?

Damon: You're a Dean fan girl right?

Yeah.

Damon: Exactly, if I kill him you'll put me in a messed up story. One that's rated M.

*Evil smile* Yeah that's true. Hey Stefan!

Stefan: What?

I have three questions for you.

Damon: O.o That's bull! Why does he get to answer questions? Hell he had one more then me last time!

Stefan: *Ignore* Let's start.

Damon: HEY!

Rougue Assasin ask, Sookie, Elena, or Bella and why?

Stefan: Who's Sookie?

She's from True Blood.

Stefan: Okay. Elena, cause I know her.

Huh?

Stefan: Well Bella is sick in the head and I don't know Sookie.

Damon: And you call me mean.

Stefan: No really. At least Elena thought about all the dangers. Bella just jumped in head first and tried to kill herself when they broke up. Sick…In…The…Head.

Okay, how does it feel to be the unsparkly version of Edward Cullen?

Stefan: *Twitch* Next question.

Damon: Bwahahaha, answer the question.

Stefan: No:

Damon: Sore loser.

Stefan: Shut up.

If Elena and Damon were in danger and you could only save one who would you save?

Stefan: That's easy, Elena.

Damon: You would save me.

Stefan: *Stares at Damon* Nuff said.

Damon: You suck.

Stefan: You're hard to kill, when it's the end of the world all it's going to be left is you and cockroaches.

Damon: That's cruel.

Stefan: I just don't care.

Um…Okay. I want to thank pawprint25, Rougue Assasin, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, Infusion d'Iris, Heart-Broken-In-Love, iamnotavampire2*Meh stalker*, Cherise Brooklyn, SouthernHemmy*Meh other stalker*, BereniceAndrea, and anneryn7 for reviews. Thanks for reading! Peace,

Stefan: Love!

Damon: I will end you! *Throws a chair at Stefan*

Stefan: *Tackles Damon*

*Sighs* Will this ever end?

Damon: DIE!


	18. What just happened?

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Dragon Ball Z!

Vegeta: WHERE ARE YOU KAKAROT?

Damon: Who's that?

Vegeta: *Looks Damon up and down* Who is this weakling?

Damon: Who the hell are you calling a weakling? *Looks at Stefan* He's talking to you.

Vegeta: Tell me where he is and I will spear you.

Damon: *Fighting stance* Bring it.

Stefan: This is a bad idea. I mean he has a monkey tail. That's usually a bad sign.

Damon: Shut up.

Vegeta: Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you.

Damon: Let's…*Hit in the head by a flying man*

Stefan: O.O!

Vegeta: KAKAROT!

Goku: Hi Vegeta! Still got that rivalry thing going huh?

Vegeta: Fight me!

Goku: No can do. Chi-chi's after me.

Damon: Who the hell is this guy!

Stefan: Chi-Chi?

Damon: Probably a new chia pet.

Stefan: What kind of Chia pet would go after people?

Chi-Chi: GOKU!

Goku: GOTOGOBYE! *Flies off*

Chi-Chi: COME BACK HERE! *Chases at him with a broomstick* It's time to have the talk with Gohan!

Vegeta: Get back here Kakarot! *Chases after them*

Damon & Stefan: O.O What just happened?

Even I don't know and I wrote it.

Damon: Weird. Next thing you know there's going to be a flying green boggier.

Piccolo: Have you seen Goku?

Damon: ….I'm leaving.

Stefan: Same here.

* * *

That was kinda weird but I hope you like it! It's been a lot of years since I've seen the show. I know that I'm mean to Damon but he's too much fun to mess with.

Damon: I don't think its fun.

Well yeah but I do mess with Stefan too…

Damon: Not as much as me.

Hey, why were you crying yesterday?

Damon: I ate something backstage and…I just don't want to remember.

Stefan: *Holding video camera*

Damon on camera: I love my brother soooooo much!

Stefan: *Laughs*

Damon: *Throws a table at him* DIE.

You also have a question from annryn7 and she writes, What would you do if you woke up in Stefan's body and he woke up in your?

Damon: Do everything I couldn't do in my body.

Stefan:… Do I even want to know?

Damon: *Evil smirk* Nope.

Ummm….I like to thank TeamDamonRox, lovelovelovejuliet, pawprint25, Cherise Brooklyn, SouthernHemmy, xxLeLexx, archykinz, anneryn7, dbz rox, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Rougue Assasin, Goshikku Seirei, iamnotavampire2, Vampire Princess 900, NykkiLeighVampireHeart for reviews.

I want to try something new called question on the day! Yay! Because I love hearing your opinions on stuff. So here is my question. Who should be the pitcher, Damon or Stefan?

Damon: You're F**CKING SICK!

I know.*Evil smile*

Stefan: *Stares at me funny* Ew.

Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed it!

Damon: Hey! DON'T ANSWER HER QUESTION!

Please do. I wanted to see you fight Vegeta!

Damon: It's too much craziness for one day.

Vegeta: I want a rematch!

Damon: *Twitch* We didn't even fight. And they say I have anger issues.

Okay everyone bye…

Boom!

Stefan: That guy just blew a hole in the wall.

Oh crap!

Damon: *Sighs*

Peace, love and *Screams and ducks*

Vegeta: *Blew another whole in the wall* You are less than a man!

Damon: SCREW YOU FLYING MONKEY!

How does he still have that damn tail, it got cut off or something!

Stefan: Don't ask me.


	19. Don't make Stefan Mad!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Buffy!

Spike: The hell are you bloody bastards?

Damon: What the hell did you say?

Spike: I said why the bloody hell are you here?

Damon:…Are you even speaking English?

Spike: I am speaking bloody English!

Stefan: He just asked why were here.

Spike: See, this is why I don't like you.

Damon: I don't even know you?

Spike: Huh?

Boom! Crash!

Buffy: Hello! A little help please.

Monster: Rawr!

Damon: That's a big monster!

Buffy: Get out the way!

Damon: *Twitch* What the hell is that suppose to mean.

Spike: She means you're weak. *looks at Stefan*

Stefan: ?

Spike: *Cocks head to the side* Why is Edward Cullen here?

Buffy: No time for jokes!

Stefan: *Twitch*

Damon: Unshiny version *Laughs*

Buffy: Crap here it comes!

Monster: *Takes a swing*

Stefan: *Blocks it* STOP COMPARING ME TO THAT BASTARD!

Damon & Spike: O.O!

Stefan: *Grabs the monsters arm and slams it* I F**KING HATE EDWARD!

Buffy: …Um Okay! My job is done…*walks away*

Stefan: *Throws the monster*

Damon: Hey…buddy…clam down.

Stefan: *Smoke comes out of ears*

Spike: Listen to your moronic brother.

Damon: *Tries to stop twitching* No one thinks you're the unshiny Edward

Rougue Assasin does!

Damon: Well she does. But no one else does.

Stefan: *Evil stare*

Spike: Well I…*Runs away*

Damon: Yeah well…*Runs away*

* * *

Wow, don't call Stefan 'Edward' he'll kick your ass.

Damon: Pfft. That was fluke. Stefan is too much of a sissy to do that.

You ready Stefan!

Stefan: *nods*

Damon: What the hell are you two planning?

Music starts playing.

Stefan: *Points at Damon* YOU!

Damon: Huh?

Stefan: I want to take you to a gay bar!

Damon: O.O?

Stefan: I want take you to a gay bar.

Damon: *Hide behind me* I don't like you like that

Stefan: *Blows a kiss*

Damon:…Ew *Runs Away*

Bwahahaha, I think you just gave him nightmares. *Hands over money*

Stefan: *smirks* Keeps that bastard from sneakin in my room. *counts money*

Those shorts comfortable?

Stefan: It's nice to get a little out of character once in a while besides I think you like the view.

*smiles* I'm such a pervert. Damon you can come out now, I have a few questions for you.

Damon: F**k that. I'm not going anywhere near that fairy.

Stefan: *mumbles* That was the point.

Dbz rox ask, If you could be with anyone else besides Elena and Katherine, who would it be?

Damon: Your mother.

…Do we really that to go through this again?

Damon: Fine, Fine it would be Cat Woman.

Cat Woman?

Damon: As long as she's wearing that cat suit I really don't care that else happens.

*Sighs* What would you do if you woke up and had a sex change?

Damon: I would use my feminist power to kill Johnny Deep.

It's Depp. Johnny Depp. And why do you want to kill him?

Damon: That bastard is I…I just want to kill him.

xxLeLexx asked How you go from rock hard to breaking down like a sissy? Does someone want their mommy?

Damon: Up…Yours…Pee pee. You're on my hit list

You have a hit list.

Damon: Yes and Johnny is top of the list.

*Twitch* Is there some main reason why you don't like Johnny that happened way before I was born and did you kill Michael?

Damon: Yes I admit it.

You know what…Let's just go to the next question.

Damon: Kay.

Did you have a gay lover back in the day? Maybe during the 60's summer of love? Katie9431 asked.

Damon: *Twitch* I…hate…you.

*Laughs* I really can see you have a boyfriend.

Damon: Do you want your heart in your chest.

*Shuts up*

Stefan: You're so mean.

Damon: Stay away from me. Gay bar my ass.

Okay I asked you guys who should be the pitcher between Damon and Stefan. No surprise that Damon won. So here's my new question for you Supernatural fans. What do you think about Supernatural being turned into a Japanese cartoon that covers the first two season and also what would you think if Vampire Diaries was turned into a cartoon?

Damon: I…wish…they…would.

Your opinion doesn't matter.

Damon: *Grabbed me by the collar* What?

Okay…please…now I think about it please hurt me.

Damon: *Drops me* Pervert.

*Dusted self off* Okay time to thank people! I want to thank dirtdevil76, Katie9431, pawprints25, Cherise Brooklyn, BereniceAndrea, SouthernHemmy, dbz rox, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Caruka, anneryn7, Rougue Assasin, citigirl13, and xxLeLexx for reviews. Thank you for reading. Peace!

Stefan: Love!

Damon: Stay away from my ass Stefan! You're my brother, just cause some crazy fan girl pairs us up doesn't mean you chase after me ass!

*Mumbles* I'm not crazy.


	20. Huh?

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Gossip Girl?

Blair: Do you really think that this is over?

Damon: *Holds up a finger* Give me a minute. *Grabs me*

Hey let me finish the story!

Damon: *Drags me*

Where are we going?

Ten minutes later…

Damon: Turn on the lights Stefan.

Light turned on

Why am I tied to a chair?

Damon: You tried to blow off this story didn't you?

Huh?

Stefan: You didn't think that we would find out?

How you guys get suits?

Stefan: We'll be asking questions miss.

Kay.

Damon: Where were you at 3:00 today?

It's not time for Law & Order yet.

Stefan: Please answer the question.

The…*Gulp*…Movies.

Damon: Watching?

The Last Airbender.

Damon: Lift up her shirt.

*Blush* And you called me perverted!

Stefan: *Lift shirt up* Just what we thought. Team Jacob huh?

It's my sister's bra!

Damon: You went to watch Eclipse today didn't you. Without…us.

I went to the movies last time with you. You kept laughing and throwing popcorn at the screen Damon and Stefan kept asking me if it was a comedy.

Damon: It was funny.

It was Nightmare On Elm Street.

Damon: Funny.

*Sighs* Please untie me, you already messed up the Gossip Girl chappie. Might as well end this.

Damon: Fine. *Unties*

It's question time! SouthernHemmy ask, When was the last time you were spanked? O.O!

Damon: You think you're up to the job Jenn?

And ya'll call me pervert. The next ones from anneryn7 she asks, Wouldn't you go gay for Dean Winchester?

Damon: Screw this.

I'm not done.

Damon: I want to kill him not screw him. Next question.

Stefan this is for you. What would you do with all your free time if you didn't have to baby-sit Damon all day?

Stefan: Probably read a book or something. Just learn something. Being with all day makes me stupid.

And dbz rox asks, We all you love Stefan! Stop denying it and jump into his pants! So why do you just admit?

Damon: You…are…so…f**cking…gross. I'm not answering this crap. You're sick. Ya nasties!

Lol! This is my question to you! What movie you couldn't wait to see, then you watched it and it was disappointing?

Damon: STOP WITH THE GAY QUESTIONS! STOP WITH THE INCEST QUESTIONS! BACK OFF YOU EVIL BEINGS!

Evil beings? Really?

Damon: I'll come to your room and throw you out the window.

*Sighs* I want to thanks SouthernHemmy, anneryn7, and dbz rox for reviews. Hoped you enjoyed it. Peace!

Stefan: Love!

Damon: And rock and roll!

Bye. Sam and Dean will come by and do something. =) We will do the real Gossip Girl soon.


	21. Get off my lawn!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Boondocks!

Riley: Who is those two dudes who's in our yard?

Huey: They don't look like they are the police.

Granddad: Why would the police be here?

Huey & Riley: Nothing.

Granddad: Who them people in my nice clean yard!

On the yard.

Damon: Nice yard.

Granddad: *slams open the door* WHO THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE ON MY NICE CLEAN YARD!

Damon: Back off old man. I'll move.

Granddad: Well you better had.

Damon: *Growl*

Stefan: Calm down Damon.

Huey: What are you guys?

Damon & Stefan: Huh?

Riley: Yeah. I've seen a lot of white people but you two as pale as a ghost.

Huey: No a vampire.

Stefan: You read too much into things.

Huey: Then fight me.

Riley: Hey Huey, I be right back! *Runs in the house*

Granddad: Get…off…my…lawn! If you were a hot, beautiful babe then I wouldn't care. SO GO!

Damon: I will punch you old man.

Riley: *Runs back and throws glitter at the Salvatores* HAHAHA! This shit is funnier then senior piñata! Hey Huey guess who's Edward! Ha-ha!

Stefan: *Wipes of glitter* You…*Gets shot in the head with a bebe*

Riley: *Points gun at Damon* Back off homie or your lover gets it. No homo.

Damon: We're brother!

Granddad: Maybe their into that incest thing…no homo.

Damon: I don't have sex…

Riley: Pause.

Damon: Huh?

Riley: I'm stopping you from saying something gay. No homo.

Damon: What? Just stop confusing me with your words.

Huey: What's your name? *stares at Stefan*

Stefan: Stefan Salvatore.

Huey: I don't trust you, but I don't trust that brother more. It's something…wrong with his eyes.

Stefan: Nope he's just special. Our mother dropped him on his head.

Damon: What?

Huey: Come here again, I want a match. I have a feeling it's going to be fun.

Stefan: *Smirk* Fine.

Damon: Leave me alone! *Gets sprayed with water*

Riley: I want to see you melt!

Granddad: GET OFF MY LAWN!

Damon: THIS KID AND THIS OLD MAN IS ON MY LIST!

Stefan: Does this happen all the time?

Huey: *Smirks* Just be happy that you're not the baby sitter.

Stefan: Do I want to know?

Huey: *Chuckles*

* * *

Dean: There will be a Stefan vs. Huey, but the girl is too sick. So I took over the psycho babble time.

Damon: Why are you always here? You annoy me.

Sam: Come on, the girl needed a break and she called us. *Points at the girl in the corner*

*Coughs* This…Sucks. *Hacks up green stuff* Eww.

Sam: So where here. *Looks around* Why do I feel like I'm being followed?

Damon: This chicks readers are crazy.

Stefan: Let's do Question time.

Dean: Alright. Damon, do you consider Blade to be badass? Asked anneryn7.

Damon: All that bastard can do it walk in the sunlight. *Claps* Good for you. But I can do it too and better. He's fighting moves are from the Matrixs. I think he is a sissy that's crying over his dead momma.

Sam: Weren't you crying over Katherine?

Damon: Shut it.

Dean: Okay…Here's one for you Stefan. If you could replace Elena with anyone else who would it be?

Stefan: Probably Hailey.

Damon: The girl from Paramore?

Stefan: I liked what I saw.

Dean: xxLeLexx asks…

Damon: I'm watching you. LeLe.

Dean: Huh?

Damon: *Sticks tongue out*

Dean: Weird. She ask Do you wanna go see eclipse and see Edward sparkle like a little fairy botch?

Damon: No. It sucks. Don't listen to the little fairy writer that says it good.

But it is.

Damon: Stay in the corner.

Kay.

Dean: I feel…really uncomfortable saying this.

Sam: I will. SouthernHemmy says Anytime, anywhere, who knows…you might even like…it? O.O? I thought my fans were weird.

Damon: I'll be waiting on it kid.

Stefan: *Narrows eyes* Pervert.

Dean: If you could turn your brother into anything what would it be?

Stefan: A dog because I could at least lock him in a cage.

Damon: *Twitch* You suck.

Stefan: Not listening to you.

Sam: *Shakes head*

Dean: So Damon, do you think you and Barney…

Damon: *Twitch* Where is this going?

Dean: Could do everyone a favor and just come out the closet already?

Damon: *Throws a table at him*

Dean: *Ducks* Hey I didn't write this.

Damon: Then who did?

Dean: A person named dbz rox.

Damon: Listen to me rox I will come over to your house and drain you of every ounce of blood, you got me.

I'm so scared! *Coughs*

Damon: Go back to the corner!

Dean: *Throws a chair at him*

Damon & Dean: *Fights*

Sam: Kiwi-luv writes, If Bonnie had to be with someone else who would you like her to be with? Jacob Black, Mr. sparkly pants, or stunning Stefan?

Damon: Stefan. So I could have Elena for myself.

Stefan: Not going to happen.

Damon: This is my question. Stay out of it.

Sam: Weren't you fighting Dean?

Damon: Yep, threw him out the window too.

Sam: Dean! *Runs to Dean*

Damon: He's not dead.

Stefan: Would you have a you/Elena/Bonnie like Katherine did to you Salvatores?

Damon: Maybe. *Looks around and whispers* Yes.

Stefan: Infusion d'Iris asks, Have you seen the Natalie Portman rap, which is a digital short from snl? Was that the inspiration for you behavior? Is she your mentor?

Damon: Who is this brat? She looks like a dude. I've always had this behavior for the longest. The kid looks she's about to have a stroke. Sit down and let me do my job kid cause you look stupid.

Stefan: Happy 21st Birthday to BereniceAndrea's brother!

Damon:…What?

Stefan: It's someone's birthday.

Damon: She could have asked me.

Stefan: Stop being a baby.

Sam: We're back.

Damon: Crap. God, You're just like herpies.

Dean: *Bleeding from the mouth* Bastard.

Damon: *Covers nose* Up…Yours.

Sam: *Claps* This is the end. We want to thank Jazzil23, -Blaze, anneryn7, archykinz…

Crash!

*Everyone turns head to the corner*

Sorry. Just getting something.

Damon: *Grabs me* Stay in the corner. *Shakes me*

Sam: *Sighs* xxLeLexx, SouthernHemmy, iamnotavampire2, pawprint25, dbz rox, kiwi-luv, SCRIBBLERild, Infusion d'Iris, Heart-Broken-In-Love, dirtdevil76, Layla55, BereniceAndrea, twilight-jonasbrotherlover and romancerevival for reviews. Peace!

Dean: Love!

Stefan: and Chocolate!

Damon: Stay in the F**king corner before I bash your head in.

Please save me! *Cough*

Sam: Bye! *Waves*

Stefan: Help me save her.

Sam: *Sigh* Fine.


	22. Damon's Revenge

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Barney!

Damon: *Smirks* I finally get my revenge!

Stefan: I really don't see the point. I mean we beat up pretty good.

Damon:…These are reason why I wonder if you're my sister.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Song plays.

Barney: I love you. You…love…me?

Damon: Hi Barney! *Evil smile*

Barney: Eep!

Damon: Goodbye.

Random kid: You can't hurt Barney!

Damon: Move it brat.

Random kid: No. All kids assemble.

Damon: O.O.

Stefan: These are reasons why I don't mess with kids. *Leaves Damon*

Damon: *Gets in a fighting stance* I'm not going to let a whole bunch of kids punk me off of getting revenge from a pedophile. Hell! They should be happy.

Random kid: Transform.

Damon: Huh?

Kids stack up and make a robot.

Damon: You're freakin kidding me?

Robot kid: *Metal voice* PEOPLE WHO ARE AGAINST BARNEY SHALL DIE!

Damon: BRING IT!

Robot kid: Kamahmaha! *points at Damon*

Damon: OH SHIT!

Ten minutes later.

Stefan: How did it feel to get beat up by kids?

Damon: Shut up I wasn't even trying!

Stefan: Does that black eye hurt?

Damon: *Twitch* SHUT UP!

Flash!

Stefan: I'm selling this on e-bay.

Damon: GIVE IT BACK!

* * *

Damon: That bastard got away this time! But soon I will get mine revenge!

Stefan: Blah, Blah, blah.

Damon: Shut up. Where's the kid?

Stefan: *Points at the floor*

I've fallen and…*Coughs* I can't get up!

Damon: How many times I got to tell you to stay in the sick corner?

I want apple juice.

Damon: *Twitch* I will shove it up your nose if you don't go back.

Your so abuses. *Crawls back to the corner*

Stefan: Where's Sam.

Damon: Pfft. Probably getting it on with Dean.

Dean: I protest that!

Damon: Why are your clothes crooked?

Sam: *Blush* It's question time!

Damon: Hey! Answer my question!

Dean: Here's a question for Stefan…

Damon: Don't ignore me you bastard!

Dean: Do you fell like you shouldn't have made the choice to become a vampire? And that even if you did make the right decision that you shouldn't have made crazo *chuckle*…

Damon: UP YOURS!

Dean: Damon decide to be one too?

Stefan: I think I made the right decision at the time but I kinda regret it. But I wish I stopped Damon from becoming one. Now I'm stuck with him forever. *Sighs*

Damon: You act like it's a bad thing.

Sam: *Laughs*

Damon: If you weren't in this bitches care I would kill you.

Dean: Leave him alone.

Damon: What you gonna do? Feel me up? Cause you do that a lot with your little brother.

Dean: That's it! *tackles Damon*

The double D's fight.

Sam: Hey Damon! You have a question!

Damon: *Pushes Dean off* Okay.

Sam: Does it hurt to know that Stefan is better than you and that's why you never have Elena?

Damon: *Twitch* Who's this question from?

Sam: xxLeLexx.

Damon: The first one too?

Sam: Yep.

Damon: *Takes a breath* Up yours LeLe! I will find you and gut you! *Continue his blabbing speech*

Sam: Does he always do this?

Stefan: *Nods*

Damon: And that's how you'll be sleeping with the fishes! Suck on that brat!

Stefan: *Sighs* Each time I'm with you my IQ goes down a little more.

Damon: *Growls*

Dean: SouthernHemmy ask Stefan, Do you think Damon would look good in skin tight leather pants, showing his attributes.

Stefan: Ew.

I do.

Damon: your opinions don't matter, sicky.

Sam: NykkiLeighVampireHeart asks, Since Stefan has Elena, if Katherine came back would you still have sex with her or would you, Stefan, Elena, and Katherine have a vampire/human orgy thing?

Damon: If I do that orgy that does that mean I have to watch Stefan?

Dean: You guys would be I the same room.

Damon: Can't I just take Elena in the other room.

Sam: It wouldn't be called an orgy.

Damon: I take that one that doesn't involving seeing my brother humping.

Dean: *Sighs* Okay. Stefan, if Elena chose Damon over you? Would you cry in the corner for eternity or would you be like Edward and kill yourself?

Stefan: Hahaha, That's funny…I'll kill you in your sleep.

Everyone: O.O?

He's kidding right? Please tell me that Damon haven't rubbed off on him!

Stefan: I'm kidding. I would just sleep with a bunch of random woman like my brother.

Damon: *Smiles* My brother is starting to see that light!

Crap.

Sam: So let's say hypothetically speaking your evil bro managed to miraculously knock up Bonnie, would you take that kid and run or allow it to be exposed to Damon? Asked Rogue Assasin.

Stefan: I'll take that baby and run!

Damon: I take back my praise.

Stefan: We don't need to of them.

Damon: What's that suppose to mean?

Dean: BereniceAndrea writes, Are you guys team Edward or Team Jacob?

Stefan: Jacob! He's less annoying to me.

Damon: You mean doesn't look like you.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Damon: I on the other hand hate both of them. Ask me which one of them I would kill? *whispers* Both, they suck.

Leave Jacob alone! *Coughs up stuff* I…feel…spinny.

Dean: Take this one Sam. I have to help the poor thing.

Damon: Maybe you should wash up first. You both smell like butt sex.

Sam: Question for Stefan.

Damon: *Laughs* I made pretty boy uneasy.

Sam: Has Damon ever dressed up like Lady Gaga and performed one of her songs in front of a mirror?

Stefan: *Laughs* Yes.

Damon: That's a got damn lie!

Stefan: *Pulls out a camcorder then pressed play*

Show Damon in a red body suit singing Bad Romance with a brush in hand.

Everyone: *laughs*

Damon: STOP TAPING ME!

Stefan: It's too funny.

Dean: dirtdevil76 asked Stefan, Which would you rather do? Be strapped to a chair and watch Barney or watch Twilight back to back for 4 hours straight and the only way out is having sex with Damon:

Damon: *Coughs* I think I just puked in my mouth. You are nasty! Bad dirtdevil76, bad!

Stefan: I'll take my chances with Barney and Edward. *Shivers* Ew.

Dean: If the four of us had to choose a partner who would it be? Asked by Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov.

Damon: Do I have too?

Dean: It said don't ask why.

Stefan: What kind of partner?

Sam: For games?

Damon: Then I chose Stefan.

Dean: *Narrows eyes* I think it's for sex.

Damon: Then I choose Sam.

Sam: What!

Damon: You look like a girl. It makes it less painful for me.

Sam: kiwi-luv asks Stefan to a. kiss her, b. date Bonnie instead of Elena, or c. get with your crush *Cough* Damon, cause we know there is a spark between you two.

Stefan: Pucker up Kiwi cause there's no way in hell I'll ever hook up with him! *Points at Damon*

Damon: Ditto.

What about choice b?

Stefan: Kiss her is quicker.

Sam: We all want to thank SouthernHemmy, dbz rox, pawprint25, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, Vee Baby, iamnotavampire2, xxLeLexx, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, Rougue Assasin, BereniceAndrea, anneryn7, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov, dirtdevil76, and kiwi-luv for questions and review. Hoped you like it. Peace!

Stefan: Love.

Damon: And Dean and Sam butt sex.

…Pause.

Damon: Don't you start.

Everyone: Hope you have a great 4th of July!

I know I won't. *Coughs* Why does it seem like the question thing is always longer?

Damon: Because your lazy. Now get to work.

I don't have to take you abuse.

Damon: Yet you do.

*Mumbles* I hope you like being on the bottom.

Damon: DIE!

Stefan: Hold Damon.

Sam & Dean: Bye!


	23. Happy 4th of July!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

4th Of July!

*smiles* lovelovelovejuliet gave me the idea for us just to celebrate the holiday!

Stefan: That's good.

Damon: That's good and all but why are they here?

Sam: Feeling better?

*nods* Thanks. At least someone cares. *Glares at Damon*

Damon: You can keep glaring at me all you want too, it's not going to change anything.

Dean: Poor kid.

Sam: We brought fireworks.

Damon: Good for you. Now leave.

Damon!

Dean: It's okay Chi.

Damon: *raises eyebrow* Chi.

Its better then being called bitch.

Damon: I guess so. *shrugs*

Stefan: We brought food.

Yay! I can't wait. And being with four hot guys how can it get better than this?

Damon: If you died.

Sam & Stefan: Damon!

Damon: Still don't care.

We should do question time before we do fireworks. It's a little nice to take the load off.

Dean: Alright.

I think I should have made it a crossover, shouldn't I.

Damon: Doesn't really matter. These bastards are leaving anyways. Go Now!

Dean: And you wonder why people ignore you. Just stand there and look pretty it will do good for you character.

Damon: Why don't you just do me a favor and go back to hell.

Please, please don't fight. It's a holiday.

Dean: Fine, but just for you.

Damon: *Narrows eyes* I bet your trying to pull her into a threesome with you and Sam.

Dean: *blush* not true.

*Pokes fingers together* I don't mind.

Damon: No! I'll focus you into the corner.

Sam: I think you have a small crush on your writer.

Damon: Okay, I admit it. I want to crush her head.

O.O *Sigh* Let's start. Anneryn7 asked for Damon, Since we know that Stefan like record you, do you ever Stefan doing embarrassing things?

Damon: No. This bastard is like a freakin ninja when it comes to these things.

Stefan: You're just easy to catch.

Damon: You're just stupid.

Dean: Ooh that was so good. *laughs*

Damon: Stay out of it Winchester.

Sam: Dean you have a question, Do you have a thing for Damon? (And by thing I mean, do you want to get in his pants?)

Dean: …Ew. I want to kill him not screw him. Not my type.

Damon: Yeah, his type is the one he's related too.

Dean: When will you die?

Damon: When this girl turns into a flying monkey.

*Sings* I like watermelons yes I do, I like watermelons but I won't eat you! Yay!

Stefan: She seems happy.

Dean: Sam do you often feel unappreciated?

Sam: Sometimes, but I know I do that things I do for the right cause and that makes me happy.

Damon: Your brother appreciates you, every night I heard.

Dean: You're really pissing me off.

Damon: Cause I like making cheap shots to your brother? Oh silly me.

Stefan, if you had to pick one of Damon's behaviors to adopt, what would it be?

Stefan: Not caring for anyone's feelings.

Damon: So true.

So Damon do you secretly like Dean? Asked dbz rox.

Damon: If I ever turn gay and that's a big if, this loud mouth bastard wouldn't be my type.

Then what guy is your type?

Damon: *Narrows eyes* Why do you have that a notebook and paper?

*hids it behind back* Nothing. Infusion d'Iris asked, Why do you like Elena, Damon?

Damon: She's hot, duh.

Why are your eyebrows huge? It's kinda not sexy.

Stefan: Because I don't care what others say about me as long as I'm happy.

Damon: That's what ugly people say.

Stefan: Shut up.

Who's your favorite actress?

Damon: I don't care I just stare that her boobs anyway.

Stefan: Julia Roberts. Nuff said.

Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov asks Damon, What would you do if Dean get extra strength and tried to rape Stefan? O.O?

Dean: Why would I rape Stefan?

Damon: To find treasure. I kill him, why because it gives me the excuse to kill him, next question.

Dirtdevil76…

Damon: That's a dirty girl.

What song would you strip to? Lovegame by Lady Gaga or Bedrock by Lil Wayne & Young money.

Damon: You want me to strip now? Dirty, dirty. Love games, more of a dance beat.

Kiwi-luv asked you both if you would date Taylor Swift or Selena Gomez.

Damon: Ew. I don't want to date the dude from twilight.

Wrong Taylor. Taylor Swift sings Love stories.

Damon: I know Selena, she sings like a retarded baby.

*Mouth drops open* How dare you!

Damon: What you're her fan.

No but how can you say something like that.

Damon: Cause I know that her fans will gang up on you and kill you.

You…want me…to…to…*cries*

Sam: Look what you did.

Damon: OH shut up. She's faking it.

*Still crying*

Damon: Shut up.

*Still crying*

Damon: Shut Up!

*Still crying*

Damon: SHUT UP!

*Stops crying*

Damon: See, faking it.

Dean: *Mumbles* He has problems.

Sam: BereniceAndrea asks Stefan, if you were a superhero, who would you be and why? Would you rather kick Damon's butt or some other villain's?

Stefan: I would be Superman because he's strong and fast. I would also would fight another villain because I see enough of him as it is.

Damon: Not caring.

Stefan: I mean he's so annoying. Not to me but to Charity and the others.

Damon: Still not caring.

Stefan: It's like he's a kid.

Damon: I'm starting to care now. Bastard.

xxLeLexx writes to Damon, Am I evil to you?

Damon: …You are the devil, you little brat.

Dean: Picking fights with girls. Shush a shame.

Damon: Can it hell boy.

Damon have you ever made a dude gay, besides Stefan?

Stefan: I'm not gay.

I don't think she cares.

Damon: Don't know and I really don't care.

Dean who is better in bed Sam or Castlel? Writes Rougue Assasin.

Dean: *Blushes* Why would you ask me that question?

Damon: *Stares at Dean* Do we have to pull up the facts?

Dean: *Whispers* It's 50/50

Damon: Speak up louder.

Dean: Screw you!

Sam: Finish reading it.

But I only read the questions out loud.

Sam: Please.

Kay.

Damon: Sucker for a smile.

Up yours Damon. Dean don't pick on Damon, I will smite your ass and Damon I know that secrets to defeating the kids and killing Barney but I will only tell you if you give Charity a wild night of lovin.

Damon: *Raise eyebrow* You wrote this didn't you?

*Shakes head*

Damon: *Evil smirk* Fine, but don't say I didn't warn you.

No I will keep my virginity!

Damon: *Smiles*

…You can have it.

Stefan: You two need your own show.

Dean: So true.

Sam: Well pop the fireworks after this.

I want to thank anneryn7, dbz rox, lovelovelovejuliet, pawprint25, SouthernHemmy, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, Infusion d'Iris, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov, dirtdevil67, iamnotavampire2, kiwi-luv, BereniceAndrea, xxLeLexx, and Rougue Assasin for questions and reviews. Thanks for reading. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Stefan: And Happy Fourth of July!

Damon: *Lights fireworks*

Shoots into the air and spells out Happy 4th of July.

Bye! *Ducks from fire cracker*

Damon: Shit I missed. *with a lighter in hand*

Stefan: *Slaps him in the back of the head*


	24. He killed kenny! You bastards!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

South Park!

Cartman: Screw you guys, I'm going home!

Kyle: Fine with me fat ass!

Cartman: Shut up f**king Jew.

Damon: Whoa. These kids have dirty mouths.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes* There like mini you's.

Stan: Who the hell are you?

Damon: Your mother.

Cartman: Good one. I like you. The other one looks creepy with those creepy fuzzy callypeeler eyebrows.

Stefan: Says the short little fat kid. I'm so scaried.

Cartman: Bring it on f**k pants.

Stefan: *Places a hand on forehead and let's out a sigh* I think I just stooped down to your level.

Kenny: *mumbles* Are you vampires?

Damon: Huh? I can't hear you.

Stan: He asked if you were vampires, aren't you even listening.

Damon: Sorry if I can't speak Dumbass.

Kyle: Hey! Don't talk to Stan like that!

Kenny: *Mumbles* What about me?

Stan: Yeah! Go back to Twilight!

Damon: *Throws a punch* You little shit! *Punches through Kenny's skull* OOOOH Crap!

Stan: You killed Kenny!

Kyle: You Bastards!

Damon: *Pulls back hand* I really don't care. *Shakes off blood*

Stefan: You should have killed the fat kid.

Cartman: Screw you, you dildo!

Stefan: *Twitch*

Cartman: If you do anything to me I'm going to tell my mom and….

Stefan: *Grabs Cartman and snaps his neck. Oh no, I kill him. *Throws his body to the side*

Stan: We don't care.

Kyle: I'm glad that bastard is dead. I'm going home.

Stan: Me too.

Damon: You're slowly becoming like me.

Stefan: I doubt that.

* * *

If you didn't know already I went to see Eclipse and The Last Airbender last week. I'm not a big twilight fan but I had to admit that it was good, or at least had my attention for the whole movie…cause Jacob was shirtless. Now The Last Airbender….f**king sucked. I loved the cartoon and wanted to see it in 3D. Biggest mistake in my life. I should have just gone to the non-3D one because it probably would have been better. They didn't use anything to their advantage.

Damon: We don't care! They both suck. Really bad.

Stefan: The last Airbender was alright.

Not be fooled!

Damon: Still don't care.

It's time for…

Dean: Don't start without us.

Damon:…GO AWAY! THIS IS VAMPIRE DIARIES NOT THAT GAY ASS SHOW YOU'RE ON!

Sam: It's not gay. It's been a huge hit.

Damon: Mine's bigger.

I love both shows.

Damon: Do we have to have that talk again.

…*Sighs* No. *Frowny face*

Stefan: Why do you take his abuse?

Cause I know that one day I will be finished with the Dean/Damon slash and will show it to the world for revenge.

Stefan: I'm not in it?

Nope.

Stefan: Good.

Okay let's start with question time. First up is anneryn7 asks Damon, If Elena dropped dead, would you pull an Edward and try to kill yourself, and become emo?

Damon: I'll probably do you mom.

…I'm not going to say it.

Damon: Just do what I've been doing.

Being a whore.

Damon: You weren't complaining last night.

*Raise eyebrow* We just played monopoly.

Damon: Oh. Maybe that was a dream.

And you guys call me a pervert.

Stefan: Cause you are.

How about a Stefan and Sam slash.

Stefan: *Shut mouth*

Sam: Why am I in this?

Out of love.

Dean: For Stefan, Are you sure you and Damon are related?

Stefan: Yes. I wish we weren't. And not cause I lo…lo…I can't say it.

How does Damon react when people tell you that you are hotter that he is? (Does he pout?)

Damon: Like that would happen.

Stefan: A few fan girls told me and he twitched.

Damon: They were on crack! Just look at him then look at me.

Sam, How good is Dean in bed?

Sam: A-A *Blush* How can you ask that!

That means really good.

Sam: *Mumbles* Yes.

Dean is it difficult having sex with an angel.

Dean: Not really.

Dbz rox asked Damon why are you a self-serving psychopath with no redeeming qualities?

Damon: Why are you a soulless little monster.

…O.O… I'm so sorry. Really I am.

Damon: Don't apologies to her. She and LeLe are both on my list. Expect a visit from me tonight.

Dean: So you can rape them.

Damon: N-No. *Mumbles* Cross that off my list.

*Phone in hand* Really? You can come…okay…see…you in a bit.

Damon: Who did you call?

*Shakes head*

Damon: *Narrows eyes*

Let's go to the next question! Heart-Broken-In-Love asks Damon, Does Dean rape you in your fights with him? If so do you enjoy it?

Damon: *Stares at me* No I don't. That bastard will fly out the window if he even touches my pants.

*Sweats* Okay, on to the next one!

Damon: Dean take the next one.

Dean: Why?

Damon: We'll be back. *Grabs me by the collar and drags me*

Help!

Dean: There is a question for the author.

*Hears screaming*

Stefan: We'll skip over that. Dean, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov asks if you had to choose between spending the night in the same bed with Castile or Sam? An Angel or the future Demon?

Dean: Can't I have both.

*Screaming*

Sam: I'll be right back.

Stefan: Let's hope she's not bleeding badly.

Damon: *Pushes Sam back* You don't want to see. Let's get on with the questions!

Dean: Rougue Assasin asks Damon, if the 4 of us had to tag team wrestle, who would you pick as your partner and why?

Damon: I would choose Dean because if I fight him he might feel me up.

Dean: Not my type.

Sam: Stefan what would you do if you woke up and was in Damon's body besides touching yourself?

Stefan: I don't like you very much.

Damon: She doesn't like you either. I like her…somewhat.

Stefan: Kill myself, cause I would want to get rid of this evil.

Damon: Oh haha, you suck.

Dean: This is for the four of us, If you could switch places with a member of any band, what member would you switch which and why? Asked dirtdevil76.

Stefan: I don't really listen so bands.

Damon: You aren't much fun.

Stefan: You're an ass.

Dean: I would be…

Damon: Hailey from Paramore.

Dean: No, Ozzy Osborne. He's rich.

Sam: Ryan from Panic at the Disco, because he's job is pretty easy.

Damon: I would be…

*Points at Damon* There he is!

Mimi: I'm back Damon.

Damon: *Twitch* You lied.

Mini: *Evil Smile* Let's play dress up. *Grabs Damon and drags him off*

So you said I have a question?

Stefan: Yeah, from Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov asked, Why Castiel is not here? HE IS HOT! Afraid that he will take your fans? (Like he did with Dean and Sam)

It's not that I'm afraid but if you see here I'm the only girl in a room of guys. You could count Sam but he has a penis.

Sam: Hey!

He might come later but right now my hands are full with these four. I really want to bring Eric in but I don't know if I'm or Damon's ready for that.

Stefan: What is Mimi doing to Damon?

Don't really know. Nor care. *Evil smile*

Damon: *Runs into the room*

Everyone: O.o

Stefan:*Takes out camera*

Bwahahaha!

Dean: And you called me gay. *Laughs*

Damon: SHUT UP! *Wearing a poofy pink dress*

xxLeLexx asked, O.O What are you doing?

Damon: I'm naked so what.

*Blush*

Stefan: My eyes burn.

S-s-s *Passes out*

Dean: Poor girl passed out.

Sam: She asks do you know that we have one thing in common? That we both want to kill Barney?

Damon: Good for you.

Stefan: Can you PLEASE PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

Damon: Pfft. One sec. *Puts on clothes*

Stefan: Was that really hard?

Damon: I almost forgot that they were here. Take a picture it last long.

Dean: *Twitch*

Sam: kiwi-luv asked what you guys think of Jersey Shore?

Damon: It looks like it has AIDS.

Stefan: Never seen it but I know its pissing people off.

I'm….up now. I think.

Damon: You're a pervert.

I was caught off guard!

Damon: Whatever.

You still didn't say Sorry to dbz rox.

Damon: I'll never say.

Mimi: *Smiles* What?

Damon: *Mumbles* Sorry dbz rox.

BereniceAndrea asked Dean, when did you realized you had a thing for your brother?

Dean: Probably during the second year when we were together.

Damon due to the fact that you have Barney, what did you watch when you were a kid? And why the hell is it that you can't kill him or kids, btyw? I'm pretty sure sparkly Edward would have succeeded at that by now.

Damon: Bite me!

Just answer the question.

Damon: She just insulted me. You're on my list.

Stefan: Another girl that's on your back.

Damon: Shut up. We didn't have TV when I was a kid. I'm not answering you other question. I will eat your soul.

I thought you drink blood

Damon: I'm working on the soul thing!

Stefan have you ever considered being a vamp star? You're so hot.

Stefan: Thank you. Maybe but it would depend.

Sam did you become gay because of your daddy issues? The lack of male figure in your life?

Sam: I'm not gay! I'm bisexual and it's not from my daddy issues. It's because I like it.

Alright it's time to end this. I want to thank anneryn7, dbz rox, pawprint25, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov, Rougue Assasin, dirtdevil76, iamnotavampire2, Vampire Princess 900, xxLeLexx, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, kiwi-luv, BereniceAndrea, and archykinz for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Stefan: And Chocolate!

Damon: *Smiles* Don't think your off the hook just yet. Charity. Why you have to bring the little devil?

Byeseeyousoon! *Runs*

Damon: Get back here!


	25. what happened to Zuko's ship?

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Avatar: The Last Airbender!

Katara: Hold your wrist out a little more.

Aang: Okay.

Makes water move.

Stefan: Wow!

Sokka: I don't know you; I don't trust you…unless you got meat.

Stefan: I don't have meat.

Sokka: *Glares*

Stefan: Hey Damon…*looks around* Where's Damon?

* * *

Damon: How I end up on a boat?

Zuko: I will find the avatar…who are you?

Damon: I….

Zuko: Lock him up.

Damon: *twitch* You remind me of my brother. Just a little less fairyish.

* * *

Stefan: Okay this is…weird.

Sokka: That's what I said but Nooo, no one listens to me. It's all about mister little avatar.

Stefan: Avatar?

Sokka: Kung fu action Jesus. Or Buddha or whatever.

Stefan: …Kay?

Aang: Hey you want to try?

Stefan: I don't mess with weird things.

Katara: It's not weird! What about you.

Stefan: I bend bones, and crack skulls.

Katara: Well I bend blood!

Stefan:*Boredly* Good for you.

Katara: *Growls*

* * *

Zuko: Please stop making noises.

Damon: *Ignores him and rubs cup against the bars* I want to be free.

Zuko: *Smoke come from noise*

Damon: My brother is scarier than you, Smokey.

Zuko: *Growls then storms out*

Damon: Still don't care! *Pushes the bar door open* Time for revenge.

* * *

Katara: Oh no! It's Zuko's ship.

Stefan: Why I have a feeling that my brother is up there.

Aang: Why?

Stefan: *Points to the ship*

Ships on fire.

Random fire solider: OW MY LEG!

Zuko: Grab him! *Damon pushes him into the water*

Random fire solider: WHHHHHHHHHHHYYY!

Sokka:…Well our work here is done.

Katara: So much for that.

Aang: Oh well.

* * *

Damon: And that's how Zuko got defended in the movie.

What?

Damon: I was telling you the movie.

No. You just put yourself in the show.

Damon: No. Movie. Say it with me now.

*Twitch*

Stefan: Seems like your losing her interest

Damon: That's not true.

Dean: Hi Chi.

Hi Dean! Sam!

Sam: Hi Charity.

He's so cute.

Damon:…I am not going to lose to a brother chasing fairy. C'here bitch.

*Twitch* I have a name.

Sam: Hey Charity I was wonder if you would update that story of us. I can't wait to see what you do.

*Blush harder* Really? Damon never said anything like that before. *Glares at Damon*

Damon: I will chock you.

Stefan: Why don't you be nice to her?

Damon: I'm not going to be nice too that little psychotic brat.

Time for questions boys! The first question from BereniceAndrea, Hey Stefan, why do you think you should have more on-camera?

Damon: Give me the paper.

Huh?

Damon: *Snitches paper from my hand and reads it*

Dean: Wow he can read.

Damon: *Throws up middle fingers*

What are you reading?

Damon: Fine I will accept your challenge.

What challenge?

Damon: All right. Alright all I have to do is be nice for the whole chapter, and then you'll become my bitch.

Hey! What happened to treat Charity right?

Damon: I never back away from a dare. I'll be…nice.

Dean: I'll like to see that happen.

Stefan: Yeah, I think I deserver more air time. But fan girls like the stupid one. *Points at Damon*

Damon: *Twitch* I'm cool…calm…and not going to kill anyone…until the chappie is over.

Oookay. The next question comes from SouthernHemmy, Damon and Stefan, What is a romantic date for you? Not dating each other but how would you treat the guy/girl you were interested in?

Damon: Being in bed.

Stefan: Taking a scroll around the park, go to dinner, maybe a movie.

Damon: Really?

Stefan: *Smirks* Not everyone is a whore Damon.

Damon: *Smiles* I will not give in.

Dean: Look at him work. I think a vein is going to bust.

Sam: *giggles*

Dean: This question is from pawprints25, Are you hiding the fact that you have daddy issues? Is that why you beat on Stefan?

Damon: …I really doubt that.

Sam: anneryn7 writes for Damon, I really don't know if you back down from dares, but you don't strike me as the type. So, I dare you to strip for Dean.

Damon: You…You…YOU, darling little angel I'll do it

Dean & Me: What?

Damon: Dean sit in the chair.

Dean: But I…

Damon: *says through teeth* You will sit in the chair and enjoy it!

Dean: *Sits in the chair*

Damon: Turn on music.

Stefan: You sure.

Damon: Nope, just play it.

Stefan: *Presses button* Hope you like Lady Gaga.

Damon: *Twitch*

Music plays.

Dean: You know that you have to come closer.

Damon: Just be happy that you're getting this close to me.

That isn't nice.

Damon: Are you stripping? Just let me work. *takes off shirt and throws it on the ground*

Lucky Dean.

Damon: *Walks to Dean and placed his hands on the arm rest, moving his hips* Goodnight.

Dean: What?

Damon: *moves in closer* Nite. *Head butts him*

Everyone: OOOOHHHH!

That wasn't very nice!

Damon: *Smirk* I couldn't help it. It was gross.

Sam: Dean!

Damon: Don't you see the little birdies flying around his head. It's going to be a while.

That was so mean!

Damon: You want a lap dance too.

*Shakes head* No thank you. Kiwi-luv asks Stefan what would you do if I killed Elena but compelled Katherine to act just like her?

Stefan: Push her down the stairs to see if she doesn't die.

O.O? Really?

Stefan: *Laughs* No. I probably find out sooner or later then come after you.

Dean: *Twitch* Ow! My head!

Damon: Didn't hit him hard enough. I was being too soft.

Happy you're alive.

Dean: Ow. I think I'm bleeding a little.

Sam: I'll be back.

Let's try to finish this like calm…*Looks at Damon* somewhat civilized people.

Damon: Pfft.

I have a question. From future miss. Wayland. It says why am I so mean to poor Sam?

Because he's cute and I like poking a little fun at him.

Damon: You call that cute. *Points at Sam*

Sam: Hey!

Yes. xxLeLexx asked Stefan, is it weird having a brother who has feeling for a guy, the guy being Dean?

Damon: I'm not gay!

Stefan: Not really.

Damon: I'm not gay!

Dean: I hope you mean by friendly because that bastard just tried to crack my skull open.

He tried to kiss you?

Dean: No, that bastard meant to head butt me.

Rogue Assasin asked Sam, How do you feel about Dean doing Castile?

Sam: Kinda sad. I wanted to be the only one.

Damon: …Pause.

You're not allowed to say that.

Damon: Why?

Never mind, we're not doing this again.

Damon: Don't care.

Dean, What was Stefan's head doing in lap last night?

Dean: …How did I get brought into this feud?

Stefan: Sticks and stones, I will break your bones.

Damon: How lame.

Damon, have you ever considered pimping out your brother for financial?

Damon: Yes.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Did I see any of the latest episodes of True blood? Sadly no, because I don't have cable and I can't find any good websites. It really, really sucks to be me.

Damon: Why don't you ask why her head was in Stefan's lap today?

*Twitch* That's not true!

Damon: Sorry that was my lap.

Oh haha. I didn't have my head in anyone's lap. Pervert.

Sam: dbz rox asked Stefan, What would you do if Damon threw glitter on you and pushed you out into the sunlight so screaming twilight fans would chase you for hours?

Stefan: Kill Damon and run like hell.

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Damon, What would you do if Stefan and Dean tried to rape you at the same time?

Damon: What is with all the rape questions? Like those sissies could get to my ass.

Moelike asked Damon, What would happen if Stefan took you to see a therapist?

Damon: Kill the therapist then slam Stefan into some place with water.

Aren't you nice? *rolls eyes* I want to thank BereniceAndrea, iamnotvampire2, SouthernHemmy, pawprints25, archykinz, anneryn7, kiwi-luv, future mrs. wayland, xxLeLexx, Rogue Assasin, dbz rox, dirtdevil76, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Moelike, and NykkiLeighVampireHeart for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Stefan: And Chocolate!

Damon: *Grabs me by the collar* You're my bitch.

What! But you didn't make it.

Damon: This is as NICE as I'm going to get. Let's go!

*Cries* Why do I have a feeling he's going to rape me?

Damon: You should be happy.

Oh no. He's going to rape me. *fake cries*

Sam: Should we save her?

Stefan: She'll be alright. She kinda seems happy.


	26. Mandy vs Damon and a new vamp in town

Shows They Can't Do Together!

The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy!

Billy: THERE HERE TO DESTORY US ALL!

Damon: Who?

Billy: THE VAMPIRE CLOWNS UNDER MY BED!

Stefan: Vampire…Clowns?

Billy: They want to be the domanic species!

Damon: What? Domanic?

Mandy: Not this again. You even have those orange things up your nose again.

Billy: No. Their tanjellos!

Mandy: We not do this again. *looks at Damon* What brings you to my neck of the woods.

Damon: You're that Bitch that tried to kill our writer.

Mandy: I'm not a bitch. I'm your worst nightmare.

Grim: *Whispers* Run.

Damon: What's a little girl going to do?

Stefan: Damon. You don't have a good history with little girls.

Damon: I'm not going to let some little, big headed girl punk me.

Grim: I think you should reconsider about fighting this one.

Mandy: Can it, dog breath if he wants to fight me and lose, let that be his decision.

Damon: Bring it.

Mandy: Oh believe me. It has already been here. *grabs Grim's scythe*

Grim: Goodbye.

Billy: But the vampire clowns… THEY'LL DESTORY US ALL, DESTORY US ALL, DESTORY US ALLLLL…LLLL!

Grim: *Narrows eyeholes* We'll solve that later. Let's go!

Billy: But their going to destroyed the world and eat up all the COOKIES!

Grim: …*Places hand on forehead* Just c'mon.

Billy: I like chocolate chip. It looks like little ants and I eat them for revenge!

Grim: I'm leaving. *Walks away*

Mandy: Ready? *Points the scythe at Damon*

Damon: Bring it.

Mandy: *Close eyes* Mangekyo Sharingan! *Eyes snap open*

Damon: What!

Mandy: Goodnight Damon Salvatore. *Smirks*

Damon: But this….

Mandy: *Stares at Damon*

Damon: *Falls on his knees with fear on his face*

Stefan: What did you do to him?

Mandy: You worried?

Stefan: No, just curios.

Mandy: I placed him in a slash fic with Sam, Dean, and Edward Cullen.

Stefan: *Twitch* Happy it's not me.

Damon: NO! NO! DON'T PAIR ME WITH HIM! HIS GLITTER WILL GET ON ME!

Billy: I can stick my finger up my nose and touch my brain. You wanna watch.

Stefan: I feel my IQ dropping.

Mandy: Yeah, he has that kind of affect on people.

Billy: SAVE THE COOKIES!

* * *

*Places hand on hip* Where is everybody, they know we have a show to do.

Stefan: Don't know.

Damon: *Walks in* Yo!

*Twitch* Where have you been!

Damon: None of your business.

Stefan: Probably got caught up in San and Dean's threesomes.

Damon: You sick f**…

Dean: Hey!

Sam: Hi Chi!

Hi guys, you late.

Damon: Why did I get yelled at and they get the sing along.

*Stick tongue out*

Damon: I'll bite it off.

*Puts tongue back in mouth*

Sam: Alright it's time for questions! xxLeLexx dared Damon to spend one day with Barney and not attempt to kill him or the children.

Damon: See that's why I don't like you.

We should do a Damon's Dare thing.

Damon: I'll kill you.

We should start it with LeLe's Dare.

Damon: Fine, I won't back away from a dare.

But yesterday.

Damon: That was different.

Okay, kiwi-luv asks Damon, Do you love me, like me, or want to do me? You have to pick one or else bad things will happen.

Damon: Do I even know you? What bad thing? Bad things are already happening with these fairies around.

Sam & Dean: Hey!

Damon: If I do you will I have to call you later?

That's kinda mean.

Damon: She wanted me. Might as well give it.

…*Sighs*Heart-Broken-In-Love asks Stefan, Why do you look so much like Edward Cullen. Are you two related?... Stefan what are you doing.

Stefan: *Writing in a notebook* She's under Rogue Assasin.

Damon, why do you hate Barney?

Damon: Because he's a purple bastard. What do anyone like him? Damn Pedophile.

Rogue Assasin asked Dean, why is it that your entire family ends up in hell?

Dean: To tell you the truth, I want to know too.

Sam, Does vampire blood appeal to you as much as Demon blood? If so do Stefan and Damon need to worry about you trying to drain them?

Sam: …*Looks around* No.

I don't think you're sure.

Sam: *Places finger on his lips*

O.O.

Damon: You better say the hell away from me!

Dean: Prince of Darkness…Really? I would think crazy, psychotic, homophobic, pervert would do better.

Damon: Read the damn questions!

Dean: How would you get your revenge on Katherine and would you include Stefan? Wow, she hates yo Stefan.

Stefan: Why should I care.

She's talked about stabbing your balls with a chop stick. I don't think they should go there.

Damon: Let me answer my question. I would…O.O?

What?

Damon: I thought…I saw something shiny past behind you.

*Points to myself* Me?

Damon: Yeah.

I really think it's nothing. Just finish with you answer.

Damon: I'll grab the bitch by her throat and rip it out with my bare teeth.

Dean: She said revenge, not just killing her.

Damon: When you get a question like this then you can answer it however you want.

*Laughs* Bring it bitch. Lol!

Stefan: Haha, very funny.

Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov asked me, when I named Eric on chappie 24, I meant Eric from true blood. Yep. I want him to come and show these guys what a real vampire is.

Damon: And I really care about what you think.

Leave me alone!

Sam: *Laughs* SouthernHemmy asked me and Dean, If we had to choose between Stefan and Damon who would you chose and why? For me that's easy, I would chose Stefan because Damon doesn't know how to treat a person.

Dean: Ditto.

Damon: Why the hell should I care?

dirtdevil76 Dare's Dean to strip for Sam. I want to see it!

Dean: Nope, unless your prepared to pay money.

Why?

Dean: *smirk*

*sighs* Fine. *mumbles* meanie. Cherise Brooklyn asked, Damon, would you have a threesome with Dean & Sam, or Dean & Stefan?

Damon: What is with all the gay questions? Do I have to spell it out for you slasher fans? I'M…NOT…GAY! Stefan maybe but not me.

Stefan: *twitch*

anneryn7 asked Dean, If you could make Damon dress up however you wanted, and have your way with him, would you? And how would you make him dress up?

Dean: I would put him in a pink dress, just to piss him off but I wouldn't have my way with him. Too many STD'S.

If it was me I would have him shirtless wearing cat ears and a tail. *Squeals*

Damon: Good thing your opinions don't matter.

I'm a neko fan!

Damon: Meaning?

Stefan: She like guys who are cat like.

Damon: Why don't you just f**k a cat.

*Flips off Damon* Stupid!

Sam: Breakfastclub85 asked Damon, If you could feed on a celebrity, who would it be?

Damon: Is Paris Hilton really a celeb?

I think so?

Damon: I would drain her, just for the fun.

*Screams*

Stefan: What!

Someone ran past Dean.

Sam: What is that?

Damon: *Picks up a desk and throws it at me*

*Screams then gets picked up* O.O?

Stefan: NO…F**KING…WAY!

Damon: Out of all the people you could have brought on this show, you brought that bastard.

O.O Edward Cullen?

Edward: Hi.

WHAT IS GOING ON!

Sam:… We want to thank xxLeLexx, kiwi-luv, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Rogue Assasin, pawprint25, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov, SouthernHemmy, dirtdevil76, iamnotavampire2, Cherise Brooklyn, BereniceAndrea, anneryn7, and Breakfastclub85 for reviews and questions. Remember to vote on teen choice awards! Chi really doesn't know who to choose. Peace!

Dean: Love?

Damon: Why the hell did you bring that bastard here?

I don't…*Remembers the threating letter from Ash*

Damon: You're scared of a girl. I'm hella scarier than that bitch.

….Right. Besides I think that fans been wanting to ask him questions or direct hatred to.

Damon: Why the hell are you still in his arms?

It's too far down. I'm very short.

Edward: I hope your okay.

Damon: *Cracks knuckles* You're dead emo.

Bye?


	27. Dare Damon

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Damon's Dare

Do you guys remember the Dare xxLeLexx asked Yesterday? Well here it is!

Damon: I f**king hate you right now.

You're so adorable!

Damon: Burn in hell you bitch

Stefan: Are you sure that we should be doing this?

You worried about Damon?

Stefan: No. I'm worried about the kids.

Haha. They'll be okay….I think.

Damon: I'm not doing this shit.

*Pushes Damon* GOODLUCKBYE! *Closes door behind him*

Damon: Bitch! O.O.

Song starts.

Barney: I love you. You love me.

Damon: *Slams head against the wall*

Random kid: Look whose back.

Damon: Aw crap.

Random kid: My name is Raven!

Damon: I hate this!

Raven: Well we hate you, glitter tits!

Damon: What?

Random kid 2: Yeah! Edwards better!

Random kid 3: NO Jacob is better!

Damon: Sorry if I don't like to give little girls tinglely feeling in pants. I'm not that much of a pedophile. My age limit goes to 15 and up.

Raven: Pervert. Let's show him what we do to perverts! *Snaps fingers*

Kids crowd up around him and their cheeks puff up.

Damon: What the hell are you doing?

The kids puke on Damon.

Damon: O.O! THE F**K! *Kicks some kids*

*Over the intercom* Your not suppose to kill him.

Damon: F**ck that. These brats threw up on me!

Stefan: *Intercom* Hope you having fun.

Damon: UP YOURS YOU BASTRAD. *Storms past the kids and goes to Barney and slaps him* Get these ankle biters away from me before I kill them.

Barney: *Holds his cheeks* B-But I-I-I….

Damon: Spit it out!

Barney: I can't control them!

Raven: *Sings* Hey Damon.

Damon: *Turns around and hiss* What? O.O.

Raven: Bye. *Slams a hammer on his head*

Damon: *Twitch then grabs the hammer* Your all dead!

*intercom* You can't kill them! This will be the second dare you failed.

Damon: Fine I'll injure them instead.

*Intercom* Wait!

Hears a whole bunch of yelling, screaming, screaming and things thrown around.

Stefan: I knew that he couldn't make it this long.

Hopefully no kids were harmed in the fanfic but I'm not really sure about Barney.

Stefan: *Slaps forehead*

* * *

I might not be doing one tomorrow because I will be tired. I got accepted to the school I've wanted to go to and I have orientation tomorrow that last from 9am-6pm but I have to go early so it will be 8am-6pm. Yeah, really, really long, hopefully not boring.

Damon: Don't go away from the question. Why is Edweird here?

Edward: To have fun.

Damon: *Narrows eyes* You don't know what fun is Sprinkle pants. You suck at life, so die.

Edward: *smirks*

O.o, something is wrong here. He just smirked.

Edward: *pulls a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket* You guys want one?

Damon: Writer he's ooc!

Edward: *Mumbles* Tattle-tale.

Yeah, what is with you? You're supposed to be moppy and crap.

Edward: I like you.

Huh?

Edward: You let the characters flow, not place them in the same mood over and over again. It's tiring that I'm so depressed all the time. *Pulls out a cigarette and place it on his lips*

I…I really have no idea what's going on here.

Sam: Same here. I don't even know this guy.

Dean: I heard that he's same teen icon. *Shrugs*

Edward: I needed a break so I left.

…Why here?

Edward: Because I like you. Writer! =)

Damon: *Twitch* I don't like you…and you *Points at me* The hell you make him come here?

I don't know.

Damon: All these f**king guys here, where are the chicks! You don't count Chi.

*Twitch* Let's start question time! anneryn7 asked Edward…

Damon: Why he gets the first question! Kick his ass out!

Edward: Bring it on! I haven't been in a real fight in ages.

*Clears throat* Do you think that you look like Stefan at all?

Edward: Maybe, but he looks so much gayier than me.

Stefan: Like you can talk fairy. I will stab you frosty!

There's another Damon. Does it bother you that you are sparkly and that Vampire Diaries is so much better than Twilight?

Edward: Like I care about your opinion.

Damon: You know what, you rebelling bastard go somewhere before I freaking kill your ass. Those are my lines!

Edward: Fine I admit Vampire Diaries is cool but we got movies, number 1 box office, and they just got a second rate show.

….I think he just dissed VD.

Dean: *Grabs my arm* Let's get you out the way.

Edward: The only reason you did good was because of the twilight craze.

Damon: So you're pretty much calling us your bitch? *Chuckles*

Stefan: I'll will DESTORY YOU.

WAIT!

Damon: Stay out of this kid.

*Twitch* Don't fight yet!

Damon: I said stay out of it.

*Demonic voice* I WILL PUT YOU ALL IN SLASHER FICS AND LETS HARRY POTTER DO WHATEVER HE WANTS WITH YOU!

Dean: Hey! Leave Harry alone.

*Sighs* Is it safe for you to be in the same room as Edward, because of your increasing hatred towards him?

Stefan: No. I want to KILL him. *Twitch*

Dean I dare you to strip for Sam!

Dean: You know what fine. I'll do anything to stop the tension in the room. Sam sit in the chair.

Sam: Um okay. *Sits in the chair*

Dean: This is also dedicated to dirtdevil76!

*Music plays*

Please don't head butt him.

Dean: *Purrs* I won't.

Damon: My eyes they burn. *Covers eyes*

Dean: *Takes his shirt off and throws it to me*

*Squeals*

Dean: *Moves his hips to the beat of song*

Sam: *Blush*

Edward: *Shakes head* This is gay.

Stefan: *Mumbles* Not as gay as you ooc bastard.

Edward: Dumb ass.

Stefan: What happened to your personality, I like the old you better.

Edward: I can rebel, can't I?

Stefan: You'll end up pissing off all your sissy fan girls.

O.O? Why are you two looking at me?

Dean: *Sits in Sam's lap and kiss him on the lips*

Damon: BLEACH! I NEED F**KING BLEACH FOR MY EYES!

There's a question for me, since you brought Edward into this, could you bring Jacob?

Of course I will. I'm a Jacob girl!

Edward: I thought I could get rid off him. *Sighs*

You two done over there.

Dean: Almost. *takes off his pants*

…..O.O! I…think my nose is bleeding!

Damon: EW! And that means?

Stefan: She was thinking really nasty thoughts about Dean.

I can't help it. *Wipes nose* I'm a really perverted girl.

Damon: I don't want to look in your mind.

It either as sex or violents in there. Lol!

Breakfast85 asked Damon, Why is it that you get to be possessive of Charity?

Damon: Pfft. What's that suppose to mean?

Stefan: It means you like her.

*Nervous laugh* Your trying to get me killed! I mean You and Damon have Elena, Edward has Bella, and Sam and Dean have each other. It's meant to be like that.

Edward: *Grabs me by the waist* I don't mind.

EEPP!

Damon: *Tackles Both of us* YOUR DEAD.

Stefan: Careful, careful we need the girl alive.

Damon & Edward: *Stop fighting*

*Twitch* Oh, I think I got pregnant.

Stefan: Let's hope its Damon….Okay maybe not.

Damon: Hey!

*Gets up and dusts self off* Okay let's get this done! Yay! *Mumbles* I need to get myself check.

Damon: Hey!

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Damon, Before you kill Edward will you compare Stefan to him and throw glitter at him please?

Stefan: I don't like you. Evil little harpy.

Damon: Alright. They are both pussies. *Throws glitter on Stefan*

Stefan: THE HELL MAN!

Damon: Don't care.

Stefan, would you f**k Edward Cullen or would you just rape him instead?

Stefan: I really don't like you.

SouthernHemmy asked the guys, Would any of you do a Celtic witch? Or would you be afraid of spells she can cast?

Damon: Is she hot?

Dean: If she's hot I'll do her.

Damon: Trying to pretend you straight.

Dean: Can it, soulless.

Sam: Come on guys don't fight.

Stefan: I wouldn't care.

Edward: Thought you had Elena.

Damon: Look who's talking fairy.

Edward: Up yours, rocket.

*Sighs* We need a girl here or I'll lose my mind. Edward, Do you think I'm sexy?

Edward: I guess.

I guess! *narrows eyes* Your just like Damon.

Damon: You act like that's a bad thing.

Edward: I'm kidding I think your sexy.

*Smiles*

Damon: Don't trust him. The stuff on his body could be a new STD.

Edward: Shut up.

Pawprints25 asked Edward, Do you know why Bella is such a downer Character?

Edward: Because she haven't gotten laid yet.

So you came from book two didn't you?

Edward: Yeah.

So why aren't you in Italy killing yourself.

Edward: Let me have a break.

Dean, how's Damon in bed?

Damon: Your on my list Pawsy!

…Okay? Dbz rox asks Damon, Now that your lover is here, Edward, I dare you to have sex with him or at least make out with him!

Damon: I WILL FREAKIN KILL YOU! I WILL CHOCK YOU IN YOUR SLEEP.

Stefan: *Slaps forehead and sighs*

Rogue Assasin asked Dean, how would you seduce Stefan?

Dean: Probably get Elena in there and we have a threesome.

Stefan: *Takes a step away from Dean*

Sam would you like to have a threesome with Eddie boy and Steffie?

Sam: Yeah. I would just hope that I don't get shiny stuff on me.

Edward: Oh ha-ha.

Edward why is it that you have no personality?

Edward: Why does it look like you have no soul?

I kinda miss the quite version of you better.

Edward: *Smiles*

*Whispers to Stefan* Is he a doppelganger?

Stefan: *Shrugs* The only thing I know is that he came from hell.

*Sighs* Stefan, are you happy that your hero Edward is here?

Stefan: Up yours angry girl.

*Sighs again* Damon if you had a daughter would you put a chastity belt on her or kill anyone who dared to look at her? What if you somehow end up with Dean for a son-in-law?

Damon: Easy. I kill them all. Even Dean. *Smiles*

Isn't he lovely.

Damon: Well it's true. I wish some bastard would put his hand on my kid. I'm rip his throat from his asshole.

BereniceAndrea asked Stefan…

Damon: I hate when you do this!

How does it feel to have your shiny twin standing next to you? Do you feel brooding around him or more Damon-aggressive when someone talks about that? Seriously has it ever occurred to you that if Elena and Katherine are related, maybe you and Edward are too?

Stefan: I feel like pushing you down the stairs. *twitch*

Shiny eddy, Have you slept with Katherine too?

Edward: Who hasn't?

*Raises hand*

Sam: Wow, heh heh, she gets around.

Sam & Dean, do you see Edward as a potential love or someone who would just get in the middle of your romance with the Salvatores?

Sam: Potential.

Dean: I just think he has shiny STDS.

Edward: Oh ha, ha.

Edward, would you ever go gay for Damon or Stefan and who's hotter Bella or Elena? Asked NykkiLeighVampireHeart.

Edward: Hell no and Bella. *Looks around and whispers* Elena.

Stefan, What would you do if Elena decided she wanted your twin more than you?

Stefan: I will kill him.

Cherise Brooklyn: Asked Damon, would you kill Ian Somerhalder and why?

Damon: Because that bastard looks like me. Like I'm going to let some human looking like me ruining my street cred!

You have street cred?

Damon: Shut up.

Stefan would you go out with Lindsay Lohan, Kim Kardashian, or Paris Hilton?

Stefan: Kim because she looks real and probably has less STDs.

BroadwayAngelLyric asked Stefan, are you attracted to Elena when she's on her period?

Stefan: No. *Looks around the room*.

Okay this is the end of our show! I'm tired put I want to say thanks to anneryn7, Breakfastclub85, lovelovelovejuliet, Heart-Broken-In-Love, kiwi-luv, SouthernHemmy, pawprints25, dbz rox, Rogue Assasin, xxLeLexx, dirtdevil76, BereniceAndrea, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, Cherise Brooklyn, and BroadwayAngelLyric for reviews and questions! Love you guys!

Sam: Peace!

Stefan: Love!

Dean: And chocolate!

Damon: Bye Edward! See you never!

Edward: Why?

Damon: *Holding a flamethrower and smiles* Die!

Edward: *Runs*

Damon: *Chases after*

Stefan: *Follows*

Will this end?

Sam: I really doubt it.


	28. Ash takeover!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Ash takeover!

Yo! For people who wanted where your beloved writer a.k.a Charity a.k.a chi aka Kazypants do not fear! The poor girl is taking a break cause she is pooed from earlier. The school thing took a lot out of her. She might do some cameos but right now she's a bit of a zombie. If it doesn't make sense….than blame her in the morning.

Damon: Who the hell are you?

Well let's get this little show started. Sorry if I didn't do the show thingy. Writing isn't really my thing.

Damon: *Growls* Don't ignore me.

Sorry…I just don't care.

Edward: Now you have a girl version of you.

Damon: *mumbles* I liked Charity better.

Why don't you go into a corner and wait for me to call you out for questions.

Damon: Who the F**K DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!

The person who is not your fan.

Damon: OOHHH SURPRISING!

Stefan: *takes a step away from me* Why are you staring at me like that?

Because you're hot. *licks lips*

Stefan: O.O?

Dean: Hey! Where's Chi?

Sam: I wanted to tell her good luck.

She's in Zombieland right now. *Points to Chi*

Charity: *Snores* I'm…the…*snores* …Teleporting…fan…chick.

Sam: At least we know that she watches smosh on youtube.

Damon: *Slaps forehead* Idiot.

Let's get Question time started. Yay!

Stefan: *Narrows eyes* What?

Damon: She seems like the stalker chick type.

Go away Damon. No one likes you or even cares about if you die.

Sam: That's kinda mean.

Can it, catcher.

Stefan: What away to start out the show. *Sighs*

So Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Stefan, How many times have you and your better looking shiny twin fucked in the last 10 minutes? 10 times?

Damon: Anything to say about it stalker?

Well for one, up yours, and two everyone has an opinion even if it's wrong.

Damon: I want writer back.

Edward: Shees what have I ever did to you besides appearing on your TV about fifty times a day.

Stefan: I ignore you.

I love you Stefan.

Stefan: *Growls*

For Damon, Do you love pissing off Stefan by saying he looks like gayward Cullen more then I do?

Damon: Yes! It's fun to get under his skin.

Stefan: Please go away.

Anneryn7 asked Damon, Did you manage to kill Edward?

Damon: As you can see that bastard is still alive.

Edward: Yep, you lose. Loser!

Damon: *Let's a breath out* Thanks to Chi this bastard can…not…be…harmed.

Why do you even care about what she thinks?

Damon: *Sighs* She has a me and Edward slash for back up.

I don't think that's why…you

Damon: dean, how does it feel being the hottest out of: you, Sam, Stefan, and Damon? F**k you 7.

Dean: Well it feels awesome.

Damon: You wish you could look as good as me.

Dean:…Not really.

Sam, Did you like Katie Cassidy better as Ruby?

Sam: Am I supposed to like her?

Damon: Fairy.

Sam: *Mumbles and blushes* Shut up.

Stefan, which famous person do you think you look like?

Stefan: I don't know. I think if the person isn't Edward or Robert than I'm good.

Damon: Boo! You suck at answering questions!

Shut UP!

Damon: Make me.

Tomorrow I will be posting my first slasher fic of Damon and Sam. Sam grew some balls.

Sam: Haha. Very funny.

Damon: You wouldn't do it because this is Chi's account. She wouldn't let you do it without a just cause.

Believe me. I know a way.

Dean: So tense.

xxLeLexx asked Damon. Dude have you ever liked Bella? Or just thought she was stupid cause she likes things or people that sparkle?

Damon: The chick is stupid and I hope that she has sparkle babies because if their not she will just forget them.

Ouch, That had to hurt Bella fans. SouthernHemmy writes my dare for Sam and Dean…be nice to Damon for the entire show.

Dean: We are nice. But Damon's an ass.

Just pretend he's not here. That's what I do.

Damon: *Growls*

Edward, why don't you have great hair like Jacob?

Edward: He's a werewolf. He's full of hair. He's like an over grown hairball with teeth.

Stefan, Does Damon have a rubber Ducky in his bath?

Stefan: No but he has a rubber otter in there named, Joe.

Damon: Why the hell you always telling my business?

Stefan: Cause you do the same thing to me?

Damon: That's different.

Damon would you comfort Dean if Stefan broke his heart?

Stefan: *Twitch* I'm not gay!

Yeah!

Damon: I'll probably laugh at him.

Dean: That's kinda cruel.

Damon: Hey if my brother breaks up with you, then you suck as a human being.

*Rolls eyes* Rogue Assasin asked the Winchesters, Have you guys had a threesome with your little brother Adam?

Sam: *Sighs* No.

Salvatores, What would you do if Elena decide she wanted neither of you and choose to be in a lesbian relationship with Bonnie instead?

Damon: Take pictures. I mean at least I didn't lose to Stefan. Who doesn't like hot lesbians?

Stefan: *Whispers* I would video tape it.

Charity, wake up!

Charity: *Rubs eyes* What the heck you want?

Damon: *mumbles* You to stay.

Rogue wants you to bring True Blood's Pam here.

Charity: *Yawns* I'll work on that.

Want your job back.

Charity: *Looks at Damon* Nope I need a break. Nite!

Damon: GET YOU ASS BACK HERE!

Eddie…

Edward: My name is Edward.

Good for you, Would you rather have been paired up with Leah than Bella? Frankly I think you and Jake should have both turned gay and let Bella the boring Die.

Edward: Ha-ha. Like I need to be with a moody weredog all the time. I'm already having problems with an accidental prone human.

You still here Chi?

Charity: Damon's got my collar, so yes.

*Twitch* LET GO OF HER!

Damon: UP YOURS!

Charity: *Slaps forehead* What's the question?

Are you watching the fricken soccer? Have you seen the Spanish goalkeeper-Damn he's fine.

Charity: Not really, I've been so busy that I haven't been watching TV. Big Shocker.

Are you alive?

Charity: If not I'll probably be chocked to death. *Points at Damon*

Damon: I'm kidnapping you. Be happy.

-: Don't you think that's a bit pathetic?

The hell? O.O?

Charity: Shit. Another one.

-: Aw. I thought you would be happy to see me.

Charity: Sorry not…*snatch away from Damon* Happy.

-: *grabs her arm*

Charity: You weren't supposed to be here yet.

-: I know, right. But I'll wait like the good guy that I am.

Charity: Go back to true blood.

-: As you wish.

Charity: I'm going to bed.

Well that was dramatic and she's back to sleeping again.

Charity: I said break, not waking me up and typing random things.

Yes. I'll only wake you up when you have a question.

Charity: *Whispers* Why he blocked his name?

-: Cause I can.

Hello Eric.

Eric: *Narrows his eyes* I don't like you.

Where's Pam?

Eric: Some where.

Okay…let's just get this finished with. You leaving Chi?

Charity: Me being in the room with four vamps? No takes.

Eric: I guess you don't like being a sheep among wolves.

Damon: Who the hell are you?

Eric: *Smiles*

Charity: Shit.

L-let's get on with it please?

Eric: Fine.

Charity: *Whispers to Damon* Step away from him. He's crazy.

*Gulps* Damon, I dare you to show up naked on my door step with a big red ribbon and a sign in blue that says enjoy his…popsicle.

Damon: You are a dirty girl. I like that. Depends if you're good. *Smirks*

Chi you missed a few questions!

Charity: Sorry.

Kiwi-luv asked mr. sparkly pants, why don't you just admit you're gay instead of saying I want to wait till marriage to do it?

Edward: One, I'm not gay. Two, I'm not a whore like Damon or Dean.

Damon & Dean: Hey!

Damon: Your even a bigger pig than I thought.

Damon: *Shrugs* You know you want this.

Stefan: Here's a rifle/bazoca gun for Edweirdo over there.

Stefan: *Smirks* I'll use it at the end of the show.

Dare for Damon…

Damon: What's with all the dares?

Eric: You're a man aren't you?

Damon: *Glares* Why are you even here? Your paler than that chick on the Twilight books.

Eric: I just came here for fun and a nice chat with Chi.

YOU MUST GO TO JERSEY SHORE AND FIST PUMP LIKE AN ITALLIAN QUITO!

Dean: Damn it's tense.

Sam: Yeah. Creepy.

dbz rox asked. Tell me is Edward good in bed and how does it feel to have sex with Stefan's twin brother?

Damon: Your on my list. Right under LeLe. Bring it.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov asked, This is for all you guys…and girl. Which team are you going to pick? Team Godric, Eric, Bill, or Sam? It won't mean that you are gay *murmurs to the author* Just for fun of the CrazyFanGirls that would think that way.

Dean: Team Eric.

Sam: Team Sam.

Stefan: Team Bill.

Damon: Team Bill.

Why him?

Damon: Because he's not here.

Eric: *laughs*

Charity: I'm a team Eric fan.

Damon: No. You're team Salvatore.

Charity: that wasn't even a chose.

Damon: Opinion still doesn't matter.

Well I'm a Godric girl.

Damon: We don't care.

*Twitch* I really hate you. Dirtdevil76 asked Stefan, Why do you hate Edward so much? Are you jealous that he has more fangirls then you? Because you have to admit he has tons more fangirls then you by a landslide?

Stefan: He's a disgrace to all vampires.

Eric: Like you.

Damon: Is it a fight that you're looking for?

Eric: I told you what I come here for. I'm not the type to lie.

Charity: Pfft. *Laughs* Stop lying. You're too good at it.

Eric: Your laugh is cute.

Charity: You want to kill me.

Eric: No, but I have another propose.

Let's do this after the show! Cherise Brooklyn asked Can Damon make Ian Somerhalder his dummy?

Damon: Yeah hopefully he wouldn't get raped. *stares at Dean and Sam*

Sam: I'm not interested.

Dean: I might.

O.O?

Dean: Might as well as tell the truth.

Edward are you Cedric Diggory?

Edward: Who the hell is that?

Nothing to add?

Edward: Nope.

Dean and Sam, how horny did you guys get when Gabe showed you his "Casa Erotica"?

Dean: Very.

Sam: Not so much.

Dean: Really?

Sam: *Shrugs*

BereniceAndrea asked Sam and Dean, Have you ever killed vampires and werewolves or slept with them?

Sam: I slept with a female vampires and werewolves but never guys.

Dean: I'll sleep or kill anything.

Stefan, could you give me your cell phone number? No! He's my Steffie!

Stefan: *Twitch* I want writer back.

Damon & Stefan, team Jacob or tem Tyler?

Damon: The person who's not going to be here.

Stefan: Same answer.

Breakfastclub85 asked, have you ever considered seeing a therapist?

Damon: Nope. Why are you asking?

LOL! It's the end of our show. I hope you like it. You'll have your Chi back tomorrow. I made her write things down so they can be on here, she hasn't really read it yet but I hope I get good news. If you want me to pop in just ask for me. We have to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, anneryn7, xxLeLexx, pawprints25, SouthernHemmy, Rogue Assasin, kiwi-luv, dbz rox, Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov, dirtdevil76, Breakfastclub85, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, Cherise Brooklyn, and BereniceAndrea for reviews and questions. So Char how did you like being a character in your own story. People with dares, you'll see them tomorrow because I'm too lazy to do them. Love, Peace, and hair grease!

Sam: That was wrong.

Dean: I don't think she cares.

Nope, I really don't.

Damon: Thank God it's over.

Eric: Not yet.

Damon: I forgot about you.

Stefan: *Sighs* It's a long day.


	29. partyin with Snooki and The Situation

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Jersey Shore!

Damon: Where are we at this time?

Stefan: I don't know but it feels like if I touch anything I will get an STD.

Snooki: I don't give a damn if I'm short, I'll still whip your ass.

Situation: Shut your little ass up.

Snooki: Make me. *Sucks on a pickle*

Damon: O.o? Really a pickle.

Snooki: Yes. It's my thang.

Stefan: I have nothing to say about that.

Damon: What's wrong with your nose?

Snooki: Some dude punched me in the face.

Damon: What?

Snooki: Nah. It's alright. I gave him STD's.

Stefan: And you're happy about that?

Snooki: *Smiles*

Music plays.

Situation: This is my song. *Fist pump*

Snooki: So what's your name?

Damon: Damon Salvatore.

Snooki: *Sucks pickle* You a quido?

Damon: Huh?

Snooki: Don't worry. I'm a quidette

Stefan: *sighs*

Situation: Come on dance. *Fist pumping*

Damon: You're pretty much raping the air.

Stefan: Only you could see it that way.

Snooki: It's a dance. *Fist pump*

Damon: I'm not doing that.

Situation: We're not going to let you go until you fist pump.

Damon: You really think….

It's a dare Damon.

Damon:…Fuck.

Stefan: I'll do it with you if it helps?

Damon: Fine.

Snooki: Hoooooo!

Damon & Stefan: *Fist pump*

Damon: I hate you.

*Smiles*

* * *

Yo! How is everyone! I took a break because I was worn out from orientation. Hope you had fun with Ash, the Goddess of Crazy.

Damon: *Hugs me* I missed you Writer.

*Freezed*

Sam: I think I see her soul from her mouth.

Damon: *Drops me*

Stefan: Isn't that nice.

Eric: Not a true gentleman.

Damon: Stay of it. Eric.

Eric: *Shrugs* I'm not threatened by you.

Damon: You're pissing me off.

Hey! Hey! Let's just start question time, please!

Eric: Be my guest.

Hey where's Pam?

Eric: Around.

I really don't trust that answer. Dbz rox asked Damon, How does it feel to have the unshiny version of Edward Cullen as your brother?

Stefan: *Twitch* What did I do to you?

Damon: I could really careless about that. I hate them both.

*Twitch* xxLeLexx asked Stefan, does Damon talk in his sleep? If so does he talk about Dean?

Damon: *Growls* I really hate you.

Stefan: He does talk in his sleep but he talks about Bella.

Edward: *Narrows eyes* Bella?

Damon: Hey! If she had sex with me then she wouldn't be depressing.

*Rolls eyes*anneryn7 asked Ash, Do you like True Blood?

Ash: Yes!

*Screams* THE HELL.

Ash: Hi bye.

*Slaps forehead* Eric, Would you rather get into Damon's or Dean's pants?

Eric: *Thinks then smirks* Damon's, just to show him what a real vampire could do.

Damon: Stay away from me, bastard.

BereniceAndrea said Hey Edward why the hell don't you go back to Twilight or something and let US bother the Salvatore and Winchesters?

Edward: And I care what you think of me brat. I'll sneak into your house and put fishes in your bed.

Damon: BOO! YOU SUCK! WRITER CAN DO BETTER THEN YOU!

HEY!

Dean: They are nuts.

Sam: Yep.

Damon: I forgot you were here.

Dean: *Rolls eyes*

Question for you Eric.

Eric: *Smiles*

*Shivers* He's plotting someone's death. Would you do nasty things to Eddy? Like, now…you guys and leave the room.

Eric: Why should I leave the room when I just can have the fun right here.

*Whispers at Edward* Run, fool, run!

Sam: Stefan, what was your worst day/experience in your 145 years of being a vampire, does it involve Damon?

Stefan: Doing this show with him. Pfft.

She's still waiting for your number.

Stefan:…567-5309.

No area code.

Stefan: My phone doesn't have one.

Sam & Dean: don't you guys have the apocalypse to take care of anymore?

Sam: Not really.

Dean: I gave up.

It's not a game guys. We'll all die.

Sam & Dean: Not caring.

Dean would you rather sleep with God or the Devil? And Why?

Dean: God cause he pretty much invited every move out there.

You will die.

Dean: I'll die a happy man.

*Sighs* You guys are giving me a headache! Damon if I told you that in order to have a threesome with Elena and Katherine, you would either have to make out with both Winchester brothers or watch them in bed with Stefan and shiny Eddy, what would you chooser?

Damon: I'll watch cause there no way in hell I'm touching anyone of them bastards.

What's your favorite part about being a vampire? Besides the sex.

Damon: You took away my favorite part. Maybe the super fast speed.

Why?

Damon: It means that I really don't need a car.

Kiwi-luv asked Damon, Who doesn't want it? Wait…is that Jacob Black, never mind I don't want it.

Damon: That only people that don't want it is crazy, dumb, chicks and this kid.

Right. Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov said Eric, would you be a nice vampire (for the first time) and teach the kids how to be a real awesome, good, and hot vampire?

Eric: I have all night to this. *Stretch*

Oh no. Let's hope they will stay alive after this. I want to thank dbz rox, xxLeLexx, SouthernHemmy, dirtdevil76, anneryn7, BereniceAndrea, kiwi-luv, archykinz, and Tatsu Welss Kuznetzov for reviews and questions. Rogue Assasin after their done with their little vampire boot camp I'll send Damon to ya.

Damon: What!

*Laughs* Peace!

Sam: Love

Dean: And chocolate!

Damon: Where the hell you're going?

Sam: We've not vampires, so bye.

Me, Dean, & Sam: *Runs*

Edward: DON'T LEAVE ME WITH HIM!

Eric: *Smirk* Ain't we gonna have fun.


	30. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea!

Show's They Can't Do Together!

Spongebob Squarepants!

Spongebob: I'm ready! I'm ready!

Patrick: Hey Spongebob!

Spongebob: Hey Patrick!

Spongebob & Patrick: *Laugh*

Stefan: *Twitch* More colorful characters.

Damon: Least they don't have stupid ass names like La-La.

Stefan: I think Spongebob is on the top of that list.

Spongebob: *Cries* What are those! *points at Damon and Stefan*

Patrick: I don't know but their ugly fish.

Damon: We're not fish. Dumbass.

Spongebob: What's a dumbass?

Patrick: That means you're smart.

Stefan: *Slaps forehead* What are you teaching these kids!

Spongebob: That no matter what you look like or how you act, have fun!

Damon: I have the sudden urge to kill you now.

Squidward: *Laughs* What are you two losers doing?

Patrick: Meet our new friends.

Squidward: *Stares at the Salvatore boy's* OMG! Your Alice and Edward Cullen!

Stefan & Damon: Huh?

Squidward: Your Edward *Points at Stefan* and your Alice. *Points at Damon*

Damon: *Twitch* Writer this joke is getting old.

No one cares…Alice.

Damon: *Mumbles* Just you wait you bitch.

Spongebob: What's a bitch?

Patrick: It means you like someone.

Sandy: Hi Spongebob.

Spongebob: Hi Bitch!

Sandy: *Slaps Spongebob and walks away*

Spongebob: *Holds cheek and cries* Why did she hit me!

Patrick: Because you didn't use it in the right way.

Spongebob: *Dries tears* OH!

Damon: I'm leaving.

Squidward: WAIT! I WANT TO FUCK YOU ALICE!

Damon: O.O! *Through Teeth* Let's get the hell out of here before I kill someone.

Mr. Krabs: Hey everyone on...

Spongebob: OH MY GOD HE KILLED MR. KRABS!

Patrick: YOU BASTARD.

Damon: *Boredly* Oh no, look what he made me do.

Stefan: *Sighs*

* * *

I had my first day of school. My first class was math….I hate numbers that have letters in them. It was too early for this crap but I made it through it. I hate walking up there and writing on the white board, it reminded me of high school again. Pfft. So…how was you guy's day?

Damon: *Pants* Ed…ward got…a black….eye.

O.O? How?

Edward: *Holding eye* During Eric's training camp.

Eric: It's not like I killed him.

*Rolls eyes* Stefan, are you holding up?

Stefan: *Nods* I'm pretty good.

That's good. What about you Sam & Dean?

Sam: Pretty good and that game last night was crazy.

*Blush* Yeah it was.

Dean: At least you guys won.

Damon: *Twitch* Why the hell is writer blushing?

Dean: Oh come off it. We were playing monopoly.

*Blush harder*

Damon: Why is she blushing?

Sam: *Clears throat* We…were…playing…strip monopoly.

*Covers face*

Damon:…..THE FUCK! *Glares at me*

I'm sorry!

Edward: Talk about possessive.

Damon: *Pushes me to the wall*

I am in danger! Please save meh!

Stefan: *narrows eyes*

Damon: If you had that much time playing some freaky game with the Winchesters but you don't have time to write stories. I'll kiss you.

Edward: What?

NO DON'T KISS ME! MY SOUL WILL COME OUT OF MY FOAMING MOUTH AND I WILL DIE!

Damon: *Evil laugh* I know.

Sam: *Claps hands* Let's start with the show.

Please save me!

Sam: *Nervous laugh* Breakfastclub85 asked Stefan, Do you think Damon has male Pms? And if so, what is the craziest thing he has done during it?

Stefan: Backing our writer into a corner and threating to kiss her.

If you say that then save me!

Stefan: *Looks away* Though you would be happy.

JUST SAVE ME!

Damon: *Leans closer* Are you scared?

*Freeze*

Sam: dbz rox asked, why don't you and Edward go run off and have sparkly babies with each other? They would look so cute.

Damon: I'm going to kill you!

*Slips away*

Dean: anneryn7 has questions for Eric, Did you ever had sex with Godric?

Eric: A couple of times, why?

Dean: Do you think that Damon secretly wants you to try to get in his pants?

Eric: Him and writer both do.

Damon: WHAT!

I kinda… do.

Damon: Freakin Pervert!

Damon, did it ever occur to you that so many of ask you slash question because we think that you are hot?

Damon: So you think all hot guys are gay?

If you had to sleep with Eric or Dean, who would it be?

Damon: I hate you.

Rogue Assasin asked the Winchesters, Have you ever had a threesome with Castiel?

Dean: Pfft. No.

Sam: *Glares at Dean* What's that suppose to mean?

Dean: Nothing.

Salvatores, how does it feel knowing Eric can compel you to do anything he wants cause he's over a thousand years old?

Damon: UP HIS!

Eric: Pfft.

Stefan: He just made fun of you Damon.

Damon: Like I give a damn. Evil bastard.

Edward, have you ever considered that fact that you can't hear Bella's mind because she's brain dead-I mean her deepest innermost thought is *Sigh* I love Edward *Sighs*Edward is hot *Sign* I can't live without Edward-God give me a break- Damon please drain Bella bitch and save the world from stupidity- on second though Stefan should do it-take that Eddie!

Edward: I hate you.

Stef and Damon I dare you two of you to have a…threesome…with…Charity?

Damon: *Grabs wrist* I never back down from a dare.

*Screams*

Damon: Come on Stefie you know you want too.

I will die! My nose will bleed a lot of blood…..*not understandable gibberish*

Stefan: Your trying to put her in her place, aren't you?

Damon: You know me too well.

M…my place?

Damon: Go on with the show Chi. You'll find out after.

O.O. *Runs away*

Damon: GET BACK HERE!

Sam: … Edward, dirtdevil76 asked you would you rather sleep with. Damon or Stefan.

SAVE ME!

Damon: GET BACK HERE!

I WILL DIE OF STD'S!

Dean: *Eating popcorn* This is better than the show.

Eric: *Nods*

Edward: *sigh* Stefan.

Stefan: *Slaps forehead*

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Stefan, Can you die already, nobody likes you?

Stefan: *Growls* Go away.

Sam: Damon, can you please kill Edward already, he's making me sick.

Damon: *Throws me over his shoulder* Who doesn't feel sick when he's around?

Put me down Damon!

Damon: Nope.

Dean: Cherise Brooklyn asked Damon, Do you realize that guy-on-guy action makes you more attractive to girls, right?

Damon: Wouldn't that mean I'm gay and I don't want girls. I pass on that one. I like being the girl chasing whore.

*Hits Damon on the back* PUT ME DOWN!

Damon: I'll drop you…from the roof.

O.O.

Sam: Can you and Stefan please get along for once and kill Edward?

Damon: Yo Stefanie! I need help with the body.

Stefan: What body?

Damon: Edward's, when I'm done with him.

Sam: Charity, can you make Damon call Stefan, "Stefanie"?...

Damon: Already done!

Sam: I'd find that funny, and can you put them on Lost?

Okay! Once Damon puts me down.

Dean: BereniceAndrea asked Damon, did that Eric guy do something nasty to you?

Damon: I don't know…did you?

Eric: *Shrugs* Maybe…Maybe not. *Blows a kiss*

Damon: *Shivers, then drops me*

Ow! My butt!

Dean: Stefan you should stand by your brother, he's going through a bad time.

*Laughs*

Stefan: It depends.

*Claps hands* The show is over! Hope you liked it. I want to thank Breakfastclub85, dbz rox, anneryn7, pawprints25, Rogue Assasin, dirtdevil76, Cherise Brooklyn, and BereniceAndrea for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Stefan: And Chocolate.

Damon: Come here, chi.

*Shakes head*

Damon: Don't make me have to chase you again.

*Runs away*

Sam & Dean: Bye!

Damon: Get back here!


	31. singing with Damon

Shows they can't do together!

The Singing bee!

Damon: NO!

Stefan: What?

Damon: I know what show this is and I'm not doing it. There's no way in hell I'm singing.

Well let's end the show.

Damon: *Narrow eyes* Really?

Of course not silly billy! Finish one round.

Damon: Whatever.

Host: Well welcome to the Singing bee. Dave Salvatore are you ready?

Damon: It's Damon.

Host: We don't care David.

Stefan: *Laughs*

Damon: Give me the damn microphone! *Snatch the mic from host* What song do I have to sing?

Host: *Points at the board*

Damon: No!

Stefan: BWHAHA!

Damon: Did 'SHE' choose the song.

*Smirk*

Damon: *Twitch* I wish your death to be slow and painful.

Lol, when don't you.

Stefan: *Brings out a camera*

Host: You have to complete this song.

Damon: That's it?

Host: Yep. That easy.

Damon: I fucking hate this song.

Stefan: We know.

Damon: *sings* I love you *Twitch* You…love me. W…ee are happy…*Through teeth* Family. with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you won't you say you love me too.

Host: Don't he look so cute.

Damon: *Throws a microphone at him* I'm done.

Damon! You're not done!

Damon: *Storms off the stage* FUCK THIS!

Stefan do you want to sing?

Stefan: *Runs away*

* * *

Dean: Why are you laying on the couch? The show is about to start.

My butt hurts.

Sam:…Why?

Damon: She wouldn't turn around. *Smirk*

Dean & Sam: O.O! You didn't…

Let's just get started with the show!

Eric: *smirk*

What?

Eric: Nothing.

Right. Future mrs. wayland asked everyone, Who has the better car, Dean's Impala or Damon's Mustang?

Dean: My Mustang.

Stefan: Impala.

I like the Mustang!

Sam: Same here

Edward: Impala.

Damon:…When are you going to die?

Edward: *stares at him* Shut up.

Eric: They both suck.

Damon: You think everything sucks.

Eric: Pfft.

Damon: I'm going to kill you one day.

Eric: *Looks him up and down* You wish, kid.

He does have age on you.

Damon: No one cares for your opinion.

*Sticks tongue out*

Damon: *Evil smirk* Do you want a replay of last night?

*Stick tongue back in*

Sam: Cherise Brooklyn asked Damon, if you won't have a threesome with Sam and Dean, would you have one with Spongebob and Squidward?

Damon: You're sick. Why the hell would I fuck a sponge or a squid?

Anneryn7 asked Damon, Are you ever going to be nice to Charity?...

Damon: NOPE!

Because, as the writer, she really does hold more power than you.

Damon: *looks at me* She never uses it.

Eric, have you come up with a plan to get into Damon's pants yet? (…Unless you already have...) lol

Eric: It will be soon and he'll end up like that one on the couch.

If I could get up…Yeah I got nothing.

Dean: *Chuckles*

How often does Pam have to color your hair?

Eric: Not that much.

That's all?

Eric: *Stares at me*

BereniceAndrea asked Damon, when are you gonna stop being mean/perverted/crazy/psychopath…just anything but normal?

Damon: Never. I'll always be this way! *Place hands on waist and laughs*

Have you considered that if maybe you became a little bit more like Stefan you wouldn't go around making enemies you can't even kill *Cough* Barney *Cough*?

Damon: That bastard is like a ninja who's surrounded by evil demon ankle biters!

Stefan, would you stab Damon and have a solo show?

Stefan: I'm very tempted. *Twitch* Very.

Damon: What are you going to do to me Stefie bear?

Stefan: *Growls*

Sam & Dean, are you guys gay or bisexual? Cause I think you're hot.

Sam: Bi.

Dean: What he said.

Chi, how was you night? Did Damon have something to do with it?

*Blush* Maybe.

Eric: No, the real question is why she smells like both of the Salvatore brothers?

*Mouth drop*

Sam: She pulled a Katherine?

Eric: Why do you tell them? You three?

*Clears throat* Edward, go kill yourself somewhere.

Eric: Don't move away from the question.

Dean: The brothers are blushing too.

It's nothing…nothing!

Eric: *Smirks*

Edward: Why don't you just go away? Brat.

Eric, can you teach Damon how to kill purple dinosaurs?

Eric: Sure. Once they admit what they did last night.

Damon: Why the hell are you consered?

Eric: I'm just bored.

Breakfastclub85 asked Damon, how do you feel about the fact that so many gay men are attracted to you?

Damon: They can look but if they touch me I'm breaking an arm and keeping it with me.

Everyone, name that song that you can't get out of your head. For me it's Shane Dawson's Ass & Pussy song.

Damon: *Raises eyebrow* Really?

Yep.

Dean: Highway to hell.

Sam: I believe in sins not tragedies.

Stefan: I don't know the songs name but it starts with an "I tremble"

Damon: Yeah. I know. I heard it at least once a day even when there's no radio.

Eric: Telephone by Lady Gaga

*Laughs* Really?

Eric: *nods*

Edward: Blah, blah, blah. I don't know why but that song is killing my brainwaves!

Dean: Sure it's not Bella?

Edward: Ha-Ha!

SouthernHemmy writes to Damon, Didn't I see you last night throwing sparkly glitter on Stefan in the moonlight?

Dean: Kind of doubting that.

Damon: Shut up Winchester!

Stefan, if Damon was about to be "staked" would you bend over and take the "Stake" for him?

Stefan: Why would I…EW! You are dirty!

Sam and Dean, would you consider having a foursome with Chi and Eric? *Blush*

Dean: I would.

Sam: *shrugs* Yeah.

*Covers nose* My nose is about to bleed!

Damon: Pervert.

Like you have the right to say that!

Sam: What happened last night Stefan?

Stefan: *Turns his head to the side*

Chi, who is the sexiest out of the bunch?

Pam!

Damon: What?

Pam: No she means me. How you guys feel like being beat by me?

Eric: *Lets out a breath* Where have you been?

Pam: Around.

She were watching the whole time.

Pam: Yep cutie.

*Narrows eyes*

Pam: Sam's on my list too.

Sam: Huh?

Dbz rox asked Stefan, on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you hate Damon?

Stefan: Twenty three and a half.

Edward: *Whispers* Maybe he's retarded.

Stefan: *Throws a shoe at Edward's head*

Rogue Assasin asked Eddie, do you spank the monkey daily like most teen boys who don't get any?

Edward: That means?

Dean: *Chuckles* Your kidding right?

Edward: *Shakes head*

Dean: You don't play with yourself?

Edward: No. That's not like a gentleman.

Sam & Pam: Wow.

Chi, where's Pam?

Pam: Right here honey.

Eric, how would you go about turning Edward into a real vampire and not some sparkly ass freak who stalks brain dead accident prone suicidal nut case?

Eric: I don't think there's any hope for him, so we should just kill him.

Edward: *Twitch*

Stefan, would you kill Eddie or torture him for a couple of years?

Stefan: Torture him.

Winchesters, would you like to make passionate man love to Edward or just chain him up, rape him, and use him as your personal whore?

Sam: I like that sound of personal whore.

Dean: *Laughs*

Edward: Stop bashing on me!

Damon: How do you feel about LJ Smith turning you human in her last book?

Damon: Wait a minute. That's a girl.

Yeah. Something tells me that you never even paid attention to the book.

Damon: I'm from the show but I'm pissed. Next thing you know I find out that the person who wrote Harry Potter is a chick.

*Slaps forehead*

Damon: *Screams* IT'S A CHICK!

Pam: He's not that bright.

Eric: Yep.

Kiwi-luv asked Damn-STD…

Damon: Ha-Ha. Trick.

Have you ever considered that some girls are scared of you because you're a walking viral infection?

Damon: Hey! I'm cleaner than your mom!

There you go with the cheap shots.

Damon: You know you love me.

*Rolls eyes*

BroadwayAngelLyric asked Ash, which vampires are more hardcore? True blood, Vampire Diaries, or Twilight.

Ash: *Pops up like a ninja* True blood! Cause real vamps don't whine or sparkle!

Thanks!

Ash: No prob! *Disappears*

Pam: I think I like her.

Dirtdevil76 asked the guys, Who would you rather want to be killed by, Michael Meyers, Freddie Kreuger, or Jason Voorhees?

Sam: Freddie cause at least I would have a chance.

Dean: Jason.

Damon: Michael.

Stefan: Jason.

Eric: Don't care.

You have to answer.

Eric: Do you really think they are going to kill me that easily?

What's your answer Edward?

Edward: Freddie.

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Stefan, Can I throw a thousand pencils at your heart?

Stefan: Bring it.

Damon, When you kill Edward will you kill Stefan too cause that would be awesome?

Damon: *Laughs* She hates you.

Stefan: Can it.

LeLelurvsGlee asked Damon, are you really mean? Or is toughness a defense mechanism? Is someone a sissy inside?

Damon: Are you xxLeLexx? Well I don't care your on my list. Expect a dead bird on your pillow.

O.O Why?

Damon: Just say your thanks.

I'm happy you guys enjoy my little crazy fic. Thanks for reading! I want to thank future mrs. wayland, Cherise Brooklyn, anneryn7, BereniceAndrea, Breakfastclub85, SouthernHemmy, dbz rox, pawprints25, Rogue Assasin, kiwi-luv, BroadwayAngelLyric, dirtdevil76, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, Heart-Broken-In-Love, and LeLelurvsGlee for reviews and questions. Thanks! Peace!

Sam: Love!

Stefan: And Chocolate!

Damon: Why are you staring at me like that?

Eric: Wouldn't you like to know?

The shows over guys. Let's wrap it up.

Sam: I hope you did.

I know I did…*Nervous laughter* I think.

Dean: Should we have the safe sex talk.

I will not go through with this again!

Sam: But Damon is what we call a whore.

Damon: I'm standing right here besides you should talk to Stefan too….*Covers mouth*

Eric: So you guys had a threesome.

SEEYOULATERBYE!

Eric: *Grabs my arm* Not just yet. *Looks in my eyes*

*Dazzled* Yes we did and it was good.

Damon: *Slaps forehead*

Eric: You can tell me all about it.

Sam: *Whispers* I think he's using her to get into your pants.

Damon: Like that bastard could.

Pam: I don't doubt it.

Damon: *Sighs*


	32. Death notes can't kill vampires

Shows They Can't Do Together

Death Note!

Light: I will finally cleanse this world of evil!

Damon: Yeah…Good luck with that one buddy.

Light: AH! How did you get here?

Stefan: Through the door.

Light: No. This is the task force headquarters; no one should have entered that easily.

Damon: We did!

L: Have you found the where about of Kira?

Light: I'm still looking, he's a crafty one.

Stefan: Who's this Kira?

L: Someone who has been killing criminals in the cruelest way.

Damon: Unless you watched someone's head just ripped of while their in the air then I can't agree with ya.

Stefan: What's that thing floating above you?

L: Huh? You can see that?

Ryku: I'm not a that. I'm a flying thing.

Damon: No. Your just one ugly mutherfocker.

Ryku: Up your's you Light want to be!

Stefan: Okay kid I've been here for like two seconds and I already know it's you. Light.

Light: What? Do you have the facts?

Stefan: Well you have a notebook with Death Note written on it.

Damon: And with that lame ass hair cut I really didn't trust you.

Light: *Inside head* I can't believe they figured it out so soon. They just got…

Damon: We can hear you. You talk real loud in your head. Only crazy people do that.

L: Light is it true?

Light: Yes my love. It's true. So…you still wanna make out.

Damon: *slaps forehead*

Misa: *Gasp boredly* Oh no Light is gay! Can I join…I really want to watch this.

Damon: Are all girls this crazy?

Light: *Pulls out Death Note* Misa give me their names.

Misa: *Shikigami eyes* The one that looks like Edward is Stefan Salvatore and the other one with the grumpy face is Damon Salvatore.

Light: *Writes names in one hand, places the other hand under the table*

Stefan: O.O.

Damon: Dude keep your hands up so I can see them. You nasty bastard.

Light: I wrote your name in here and in forty seconds you will die.

Damon: I kind of doubt that but let's do this to amuse me.

Forty seconds.

Stefan: Your task force people suck.

Light: What happened?

Damon: We've already dead. Duh.

L: Great. So fairies exist too.

Damon: Shut up you damn emo. I'm a vampire!

L: Shees Twilight fans today.

Damon: AT LEAST I DON"T PLAY WITH MYSELF IN PUBLIC.

Light: *blushes*

Stefan: We should kill Light to save the world. And Misa too.

Misa: HEY!

Damon: You take the beetle wanna be. I want Misa.

Misa: Well Misa doesn't want you!

Damon: *Fangs pop out* Don't care.

Five minutes later.

Matsuda: Light are you all….*Gasp*

Damon: *Boredly* Oh no they are all dead. Ekk.

Stefan: *Mumbles* Nice acting.

Damon: I know.

* * *

Damon: And that's how Death Note should have ended.

…What?

Stefan: Chi, do not give in to his stupidity. You'll lose brainwaves.

Damon: UP YOURS.

So Pam, what do you think of the show so far.

Pam: I think I need to whip these guys into shape. Like the 'my little pony' vampire over there. *Points at Edward*

Edward: Hey.

Sam: Let's start with the show!

Kiwi-luv writes Damn-it,…

Damon: Are you stupid? It's Damon.

Were you trying to insult me, sorry couldn't here you over the loud moans your mother was giving me. What now bitch? BWHAHAHA!

Damon: Why are you fucking a corpse?

Stefan: *Slaps forehead*

Damon: Why don't you find someone that doesn't have flies flying around them and fuck them?

Sam: anneryn7 writes Damon, Okay, so this is more of a dare. I dare you to give Eric a lap dance.

Damon: *Glares at me*

*Places hands up* It wasn't from me!

Eric: *Pats lap* You want to do it now or later.

Pam: I'll take the now and get it over with.

Damon: *Through teeth* I…really…hate…you.

So…does that mean you're going to do it?

Damon: *Places hand on face*

That means YES! And no head butting.

Eric: He'll break his skull if he tries. *Sits in a chair* Make my day Damon Salvatore.

Dean: You know he'll might rape you.

Damon: *Twitch*

*Presses play on the remote and music plays* Kesha!

Damon: I hate you Charity.

I love you too! *Smiles*

Edward: *Covers ears* My brain is melting!

Eric: You know you want to.

Damon: You're pissing me off! *Walks over to Eric*

Stefan: *Covers eyes*

Dean: *Pulls out a camera* There's no way in hell I'm missing this.

Just think, we'll get more fans from this!

Damon: Shut up. *Sighs*

Eric: *Smirk*

Damon: *Takes off shirt and moves hips to the music* If you say anything I will kill you.

Eric: I'll just sit here and be a good boy.

Damon: *Grinds teeth* I doubt that. *Sits on Eric's lap*

*Fangirls scream*

GET THEM OUT OF HERE! *Holding bloody nose*

Stefan: I'll be glad to. *Walks away*

Damon: *Moves hips* It feels so wrong.

Eric: *Grabs Damon's arm and pulls him closer*

Damon: WHAT!

O.O!

Pam: *Chuckles* I'm surprised you didn't see that coming, Danny boy.

Eric kissed Damon.

Damon: *Force himself from Eric* YOU SICK FUCK!

Eric: *Licks lips*

Sam: *Blush*

Damon: *Wipes his lips* I FUCKING HATE YOUR SUPER PALE ASS!

Eric: *Shrugs* It just means I'm getting closer to your pants.

Damon: *Grabs me and storms off*

WHY ME!

Damon: *Throws me in a room* You bastards come in here I'll kill you. *Goes in and closed the door behind him.

Dean: What is he going to do to her?

Sam: Bondage?

Pam: I should have taken a picture. *Smirks* He looked so cute.

Twenty minutes.

Damon: *Walks in the room* Sup.

Stefan: *Narrows eyes* What did you do to her?

*Walks in the room then falls down* I hate you Damon!

Damon: *Stretch* I know.

*Cries* I feel like your whore!

Damon: Cause you are.

Stefan: Really?

Damon: Don't get mad because I thought of it first. *Zips up pants*

Sam: Um…okay. Will you please, please, PLEASE just kill Edward already?

Edward: I'm not bothering anyone you little ingrate!

Damon: Sooo scary! I'll probably kill you while you're doing boring sex with Bella. Bet you I can change her mind real quick.

Sam: Stefan, Does it bother you that Stephanie Meyer used you as her inspiration with Edward? I mean, you look way better than he does, He came out sparkly…something's wrong there.

Damon: She was probably drunk when she wrote you.

Edward: I dare you to say that in a room full of twi-hards.

Damon: I'll do that and kick all their little sissy girl asses. Maybe a few guys too.

Stefan: Yes it bothers me…very much.

Dean: Sam, how would you feel if Damon was your brother, and Dean was Stefan's brother?

Sam: I would be happy on one hand but having Damon as a brother…I mean just look at Stefan.

Stefan: *Grumpy face*

Sam: I don't think I could live like that.

Damon: Good for you.

Dean: Eric, How does it feel to be that bad ass?

Eric: *Licks lips* Sweet.

Damon: You stay the HELL away from me.

Eric: *Smirks*

Dean: Pam, Does Edward annoy you?

Pam: Yeah. He's more of a woman then I am.

Edward: What does that suppose to mean?

Damon: It means, when will you die?

Edward: Do you want to fight me?

Damon: You're just a fairy with fangs!

*Pushes myself up* Do that after the story! Breakfastclubs85 asked Damon, if you could get it on with anybody in the world who would it be? And you can't say my mom. She's too good for you.

Damon: *Thinks* That Hailey Chick from that one band

Paramore?

Damon: Why should I care? I just stare at her tits.

*Sighs*

Stefan: *Slaps forehead*

Stefan, what's your most favorite memory of Damon?

Stefan: When he was gone.

Dean: *Laughs*

Edward, What's up with your uneven lavender nipples?

Edward: Why are you even staring at them? Do you have a nipple fetish?

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Stefan, Do you know how stupid your ugly ass is? Very for being such a bitch to Damon.

Damon: Haha…hey! Did she just call me ugly?

Sam: No she said that he's shouldn't bitch to you.

Damon: Yeah! Stop being a little bitch Stefan.

Stefan: Once I actually care about the call fan girl I'll let you know. Pfft.

So can I help you plan the murders of Edward and Stefan?

Damon: Sure. Just bring a carpet and a lot of rope.

Stefan: Don't go to sleep tonight.

Damon: He's talking to you Chi.

*Clears throat* Eric, why do you seem to get hotter every episode?

Eric: Cause I am.

Pam, How come you are so awesome?

Pam: Because I was born awesome. *Smiles*

I think she's plotting to kidnap Edward.

Dean: I'm getting that feeling too.

Sam: Same here.

Beware Edward.

Edward: O.O.

LeLelurvsGlee asked Damon, Admit it. Do you secretly watch True Blood?

Damon: I admit it I watched on Episode, when that Bill guy and that other chick did it. Never again.

Sam: That was kind of gross.

*Nods* Was she controlling him or was he so mad that he had to have sex.

Dean: I really don't know.

Eric you got any comments?

Eric: *Laughs*

O.O. OMG WERE ALL GOING TO DIE!

Eric: Let that bastard do whatever he wants.

Dbz rox asked Damon, I dare you to have a threesome with Edward and Stefan. Will you do it?

Damon: …..FUCK THAT!

I guess that means no.

Damon: *nods*

Rogue Assasin asked every guy here, Who wants to get into Pam's pants more?

Damon: I'll do her.

Stefan: You'll do anything.

Damon:…True.

Sam: I would.

Dean: Same here

Edward: Not me. I don't even trust her.

Eric: Already did.

Damon are you a whips and chains or strawberry and cream kinda guy?

Damon: Whips and chains!

Dare for Stefan, Give Eddie an atomic wedgie.

Edward: He wouldn't…O.O

Stefan: Done. *Walks away*

Edward no one likes you of course we hate you, you aren't a vampire, you are a fairy deal with it.

Damon: So true! *Claps hands*

Edward: I'm still better than you. *stick tongue out*

Sam what was the worst thing Dean to you growing up?

Sam: Dean hit me with a baseball bat once. Right on my forehead.

Dean: I said I'm sorry.

Eric, seeing as I am still waiting for Damon, could you show up naked on my doorstep with Pam whose also naked *What she's hot, I'm a woman who appreciates other women* Heck I might do Pam and let Eric watch.

Eric: Fine.

Pam: I'm bringing the chains.

Hey Dean if I bent over would you spank my ass?

Dean: *smirk* Sure.

Why do I have a bad feeling? Charity dare you to…give Eric….a…blow…job? *cries* I thought you liked me!

Eric: Don't worry. Just think of it as a ten inch lollipop.

*Covers ears* Kyaaaaaaaaa! I'm a good girl. I'm a good girl!

Damon: You kinda passed that base a long time ago.

Shut up!

SouthernHemmy asked Eric, if started dancing seductively, slowly stripping would you pin him and rape him?

Damon: That bastard tried!

Eric: I kissed you. I could have raped you for everyone to see.

This show is so dirty!

Damon: Whose fault was that?

I know I'm a pervert.

Damon: I was going to say Rogue Assasin but you're the one writing it.

Sam & Dean: If Stefan was available would either of you find him attractive and why?

Sam: I would because I think he's hot.

Dean: I just want to try a vampire.

Damon she skipped you.

Damon: I skip her too.

Stefan, so are you ever going to stop eating animals and maybe eat…chi? Why would you eat me! I thought you love me!

Stefan: *Clears throat* I don't think she meant it like that.

*blush* D-dirtdevil76 asked Damon would you have a threesome with Sam& Dean of Edward & Stefan?

Damon: I really hate you.

Stefan why won't you admit that you are attracted to your brother? I mean Sam and Dean admitted it, why not you? It's not a problem.

Stefan: One, it was only one time and I did not touch him during it. Two, I hate his guts and Three I think I was drugged.

Damon: Nice excuse.

Dean: Now that you gave your life to save Sam now would you do the same for the Impala if it were to rust and not work anymore?

Dean: Of course I would give my life for it!

BereniceAndrea asked Damon, did you use protection at the whole 3some thing? I heard you've been accused of being a walking STD, so chi you should get tested.

I did! I'm in the clear.

Damon: Yes I used protection ever though vampires don't catch anything.

I still don't trust him.

Stefan did you enjoy having sex with chi and your brother? Did you make out with him?

Stefan: *Blush* Yes and No.

*Covers nose* It's too many dirty thoughts!

Dean: Chi, who did you enjoy more, Damon or Stefan? Honest answers only.

*Blush* I mean it's 50/50. Stefan is good with his mouth and *Blushes harder* Damon was good with the thrusting. I think I'm going to faint.

Dean: Sam do you rather have a threesome with Chi and Dean, or Chi and any of the vampires there? Your choice.

Sam: *Blushes* Eric.

Pam: Dean, when's your turn?

Dean: Hopefully soon.

I feel like everyone's whore.

Pam: But your sooo cute.

Damon: Which means that if we were alone I would rape you.

Pam: *Smirks* You know me well.

Eric, if you wanna get into Damon's pants, you should kill Edward then.

Eric: Fine, he's a dead man anyways.

Edward: *Gulps*

Hana.M said I love to see Damon and Stefan with Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie from twilight, are you going to do this?

Damon: I'll do them.

Emmett's a guy.

Damon: Then I'll go for Alice.

She already has someone.

Damon: I care, why?

*Mumbles* Pig. Cherise Brooklyn asked Edward; Have you ever encountered Lord Voldemort in your lifetime? And would you kill Robert Pattinson?

Edward: I think I did but I think it was some fan mom and I would use Robert as a dummy because some people want to rape me and others want to kill me. He'll be very useful.

Dean and Sam does it hurt that Gabriel died and left you a porno?

Sam &Dean: Yes.

Stefan and Damon, would you screw and kill, Miley Cyrus, Ian Somerhalder, or Robert Pattinson?

Damon: I wouldn't screw but I will kill Robert. I hate seeing him everywhere.

Stefan: Miley Cyrus.

Dean: Charity can you bring Lestat, Louis, Claudia, and/ or that creepy vampire from "Nosferatu"

Sure! Pawprint25 asked me to bring in some supernatural characters. Yeah!

Well that wraps up the show! I 'm happy you guys read it and hope you liked it. I like to thank kiwi-luv, anneryn7, Breakfastclub85, Heart-Broken-In-Love, pawprint25, LeLelurvsGlee, dbz rox, Rogue Assasin, twilight-jonasbrotherlover, SouthernHemmy, dirtdevil76, BereniceAndrea, Hana.M, and Cherise Brooklyn for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Damon: Stay away from me ERIC!

Eric: I'm just sitting right here.

Damon: Who grabbed my ass?

Pam: I got carried away.

Bye guys!

Eric: Where are you going?

To sleep I'm tried. *Fake Yawn*

Eric: Your not getting off the hook that easily.

Oh Crap


	33. Supernatural with Damon and Stefan

Shoes They Can't Do Together!

Supernatural!

Dean:…A fairy is doing this kind of damage.

Sam: Supposedly the little guy didn't like Tinkerbelle.

Dean: But that guy is the size of my thumb and he made a big enough hole for the hulk to get through.

Damon: You guys talking about yourselves?

Dean: *Sighs*

Sam: Hi…what are you guys doing….here?

Damon: Blame writer!

Stefan: *Raises eyebrows* A fairy?

Sam: Yep it seems that a little guy is going to Wal * Marts and smashing up Tinkerbelle stuff.

Dean: So were going to go to Wal*Mart and faced that tiny bastard.

Castiel: Hello. Who are they? *Points at Damon and Stefan*

Dean: That's Stefan *Points at Stefan* and that's a pit bull *Points to Damon*

Damon: Ha-Ha! Why don't you start your fairy chase? *Mumbles* Bastards.

Castiel: I don't trust that guy.

Damon: Don't give a damn.

Stefan: When do you ever?

Damon: *Smirks*

Sam: On to the store!

At The Store.

Damon: I hate stake outs.

Sam: Shhh.

Damon: I mean come on it been…

BOOM!

Everyone runs to the sound.

Damon: Five dollars if it's Edward Cullen.

Dean: Deal.

They Stop.

Damon: Heh. Give me my five dollars.

Dean: *Digs into his pocket and hands him a five, mumbling* Bastard.

Damon: I should have asked for more. *Sighs*

Sam: What are you doing here?

Edward: Well I…

BOOM!

Sam: *Holds up a finger* Hold that thought.

Everyone runs again.

Dean: *Brings out a shotgun*

Stefan: How did you bring that in here?

Dean: *Smiles*

Stefan: Never mind.

Fairy: Oh Crap.

Sam: Why are you going around destroying stuff?

Damon: There's a differences between me and you guys. You ask questions…*Snatches the fairy from the air* I'll kill the little flying bastard if he doesn't answer me the first time. Why are you here? It's your only chance to speak before I rip you little tongue out.

Fairy: I'm not talking you shit.

Damon: Too bad.

Stefan: Damon stop.

Damon: *forces its mouth open and grabs the tongue* I'm feeling generous right now. I'll give you another chance.

Fairy: Go ahead may my bay.

Damon: *Smiles* Okay. *Rips his tongue and throws it to the side*

Fairy: *screaming*

Sam & Dean: OH!

Stefan: *Slaps forehead*

Castiel: *Stares at the blood on Damon's shirt*

Fairy: *Dies*

Damon: Well that was fun. *Throws the body somewhere*

Dean: Ookay…

Castiel: Well I guess our job is done?

Sam: I think so…

Damon: That was easy. *Laughs*

Stefan: *Sighs*

Castiel: So you want to make out.

Sam: *Stands in front of Dean* No, he's mine to today.

Dean: Um…guys?

Sam & Castiel: STAY OUT OF IT!

Castiel: Do you really think you can defeat me?

Sam: DON'T MAKE ME USE MY DEMON POWER ON YOU! *twitch*

Damon: Let's go Stefan.

Stefan: Fine.

A few aisles a way.

Edward: Hello? Guys?

* * *

Sam: Something wrong with you?

I'm sleepy.

Dean: Why?

I was kept up for ten hours straight.

Dean: It had something to do to Eric's dare wasn't it?

*Covers face*

Sam: Poor girl.

Let's get this show started before I foam at the mouth. LeLelurvsGlee asked Eric, Why would you want to get into a stupid, egotistical guy like Damon's pants?

Eric: *smirks* I want him to know his place.

Damon: *twitch* Stay away from me!

Breakfastclub85 asked Me, what type of things did Damon & Stefan say during your threesome? By the way I am jealous… You can take my place

Sam: Yeah, what did they say?

*Nose starts to bleed* Make sure Jasper stays away from me.

Dean: *Hands me a handkerchief*

Thanks. *Clears throat* Who's your daddy, whose bitch are you, I'll going to fuck you so good that you can't see straight. That was from Damon and Stefan…I don't remember. He didn't really say anything.

Pam: Sam and Dean, McDreamy or McSteamy?

Dean: McDreamy.

Sam: McSteamy!

Edward, are you jealous that your brother Jasper is waaay hotter and much less fairy-ish than you?

Edward: I'm hotter than you. One point to me.

*Sighs* Damon I dare you to face me in a game that I am the MASTER at…Trivial Pursuit: Totally 80's Edition!

Damon: Bring it on!

Kiwi-luv writes, to Dumb-ass *Damon*, I know you know name is, I'm insulting you in case you still haven't figured it out! By the way I did your mom because she's a vamp thanks to Katherine. Yeah everyone in your family is her whore! Also your on my list *Goes around the room and does every male character expect Dumbass and Eddie*

Pam: Why you leave me out?

So Damon how do you feel being put on the same level as Edweirdo?

Damon: *Claps and laughs* Good for you but you forgot one simple thing kid. I don't give a shit. If you won't fuck me I wouldn't go into a corner and cry, I have plenty fangirls that would love to ride this.

Anneryn7 asked Eric, Who is the most annoying person you can thing of?

Eric: Damon.

Damon: Huh?

Charity or Dean?

Eric: Why can't it be Charity then Dean?

They said or.

Eric: I'll go with my first choice.

You can't go around and change questions!

Eric: *Stares at me*

Okay, so this is definitely a dare. I dare you get into Damon's pants.

Eric: Already did.

Damon: THE FUCK!

Eric: *Smirk*

Wow. How?

Eric: Don't you remember Danny?

Damon: *Eyes widen* You didn't. *Runs out the room*

Are you for real?

Eric: *laughs* Nope. I just wanted to see his face.

Stefan: *Chuckles*

Sam: Messed up his whole night.

Dean: That's what that bastard deservers!

Pam, which Winchester would you rather do?

Pam: Sam. *Smirks*

Sam: *Gulps*

Pam: S & M.

How good is Eric in bed?

Pam: Very good. *Fans self with hand*

Stefan, what would you do if you have to live with ONLY Edward for a year?

Stefan: I'll try out everything from the movie Saw. *smiles*

Edward: Why do you guys always pick on me?

Get use to it. Damon!

Damon: *Twitch* What?

Would you rather have Eric or Dean have their way with you? And 'I hate yo' is not an acceptable answer. Lol.

Damon: *Sighs* Dean and I really do hate you.

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Stefan, Would you fuck your sparkly twin and die already?

Stefan: *Growl*

Damon, you keep saying your gonna kill Edward but you don't, is there a reason for that? You know it only pisses people off; we all want him gone already?

Damon: Actually I want him dead as much as you do but Chi *Points to me* Is blackmailing me.

*Smirk* I have Edward here for a good reason.

Damon: If it ain't sacrificing than I really don't care.

Stefan: Same here.

*Rolls eyes* Eric why did you try to rape Damon?

Eric: It seemed like fun.

Pam, do you know just how awesome you are? I'm not a lesbian but I would do you.

Pam: *Hair flip* Who wouldn't?

Dean: Charity are you gonna kill Edward too?

Of course not. *Evil smirk*

Edward: Huh?

It's nothing really!

Dean: Good foreshadowing.

Really! *smiles* Huh?

Dean: What?

Oh no.

Dean: What?

*Points to the door* There's more of them!

Louis & Lestat: Hello.

Can we at lease have another girl! Alice! She the only person I like from Twilight who's a girl.

Damon: I agree!

Stefan: Same.

Lestat: Hi Charity, I heard so much about you.

Eric: I hope you two won't start any trouble.

Louis: We wouldn't.

Why do I feel tension in the air?

Dean: There are too many vamps in here. Me, you and Sam are like the sheep in a room full of wolves.

Sam: *Sighs*

*Sigh* But I really want Alice. SouthernHemmy writes to Pam, since you like whips and chains, would you do me a favor? Grab Damon and take him to the other room and 'teach' he a few things…I wanna hear him beg.

Damon: You stay away from me.

Pam: *Grabs Damon's arm and drags him into a room*

O/O Eric who is…

Damon: *Yelling* Is that the best you can do!

Pam: Nope I'm getting warmed up!

Dean: If it continues like this I would have to leave the room for a few.

W-who is hotter Louis or Lestat?

Eric: Lestat.

Stefan do you wanna join Damon and get a lesson from Pam too?

Damon: Harder!

Stefan: *Twitch* No.

Lestat I'm soooooo glad you are here!

Lestat: I am too.

Eric: I still don't trust you.

Lestat: I could careless.

Sam and Dean I think you are both hot…so my dare for you two is to give Chi anything she wants.

Dean: Fine. What do you want?

I don't want to say it out loud. *Blush*

Sam: Is it sexual?

*Nods*

Eric: Pfft pervert.

Like you can talk.

Eric: *Smirk*

*Clears throat* dirtdevil76 dares, Me, Edward, Stefan, Eric, Sam, and Dean to put make up on Damon.

Damon: *Walks in the room* What's up.

GRAB HIM!

Eric and Stefan Grabs him.

*Smirk* Hold him down boys! *Holds a make up brush*

Sam & Dean: *Smirk*

15 minutes later.

Damon: What the hell did you do to me.

Dean: Hey Gene Simmons!

Damon: I'm going to kill you!

You look cute!

Damon: *hiss* I'll make you regret that.

*Shivers* BereniceAndrea asked Dean, Does it bother you that you were not the one that got laid?

Dean: Not really.

Eric, what's you evil plan to get into Damon's pants? Share!

Eric: *cocks his head to the said* Wouldn't you like to know.

It said share.

Eric: Fine I'll wait till he's sleeping.

That's a lie. *Sigh* We're not going to get anything out of you.

Eric: *smiles*

Stefan would you sleep with Alaric Saltzman? He's hot.

Stefan: Not my type.

What type of guy are you into?

Stefan: None.

Have you even tried?

Stefan: Have you tried being with a girl?

Well…yeah.

Stefan: …Never.

Chi, gotta bring Alaric! He'll be here soon. Can we please bring so girls in here?

Dean: Damon is it your dream to do Elena's family all together?

Damon: Yes!

Sammy are you in love?

Sam:…With who?

Cullen Glitter I hate you.

Edward: Come hate me all you want.

Okay the show is over! I want to thank LeLelurvsGlee, BreakfastClub85, kiwi-luv, pawprints25, anneryn7, Heart-Broken-In-Love, SouthernHemmy, dirtdevil76, and BereniceAndrea for reviews and questions! Peace!

Sam: Love!

Dean: And Chocolate!

See you guys later! I have to go to school tomorrow!

Damon: *Glares at me*

What?

Damon: What is it with all these guys here?

That's what the fans want!

Damon: *Narrows eyes* I'm watching you.

Stefan: You're jealous.

Damon: No the hell I'm not!

Louis: You look lovely.

*Blush* Thank you.

Sam: Damon…what are you doing with that chair?

Damon: *Throws the chair*

*Twitch* Oh crap!

Random Dude: LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE!

Bye guys!


	34. Lazy Day!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Lazy Day!

I didn't feel like doing a show today. I wanna sleep! I had two four-hour classes and a two hours sitting in some place that I didn't want to be in.

Damon: I'm don't want to hear your excuse! You're lazy, own up to it.

Like you're a crazy whore?

Damon: *Shrugs* Yes. Yes I am.

Save me Stefan.

Stefan: C-can you kinda save me?

Lestat: He's so cute. *Runs fingers through Stefan's hair*

Stefan: *Twitch*

I…didn't know he was you type, Lestat.

Lestat: *Licks lips* It would be better if he was on the floor naked.

Stefan: O.O. Stay away from me.

Eric: Don't steal my bit.

Lestat: *Smirk* I doubt that.

Louis: Please stop playing with him.

Lestat: It's too much fun.

Dean: I want to go to sleep too. We had a stakeout since Wednesday.

Sam: *Stretch*

Let's get this party started! Our first question is from Heart-Broken-In-Love asks me Why do you have Edward there? Your not gonna do him too are you? Cause that would be disgusting? Well that's simple, who am I going to try out new cutting techniques on?

Edward: Huh?

Haven't you noticed anything different on you?

Edward: What.

It was a bitch to sow it back on but I did…with Stefan's help of course.

Stefan: *Smirk*

Damon: I don't quite follow.

Stefan: She's been cutting of fingers and sowed them by on the other hand.

Damon: How? He's the type of vamp that never sleeps.

Eric: Knocked him out.

*Bubble smile* I can why to try out the lovely maiden on him.

Edward: Maiden?

The Iron Maiden! *Fan girl Scream!*

Edward: Fuckin freak!

*Smiles* Your not going anywhere until I can use every type of torture device on you.

Pam: What happened to my cute Chi?

If you try to leave I'll send someone after you.

Edward: *Gulps then runs*

*Frowny face* Fool.

Louis: Who did you send?

*Smirk* You'll find out soon. Damon, you do me?

Damon: Yeah.

Dean: You'll do any girl.

Damon: Unlike you, who screws everyone.

Dean: I have more options.

Pam: Are you really a lesbian?

Pam: I'm Bi, but I prefer women more. There are a few guys that catch my attention, Eric for one and Sam, but I would put him in the female category.

Sam: *Blush* H-Hey!

Pam: You're just cute.

Come here Stefan. Guess what I have behind my back? A really, really pointy stake or a bucket of vervain?

Stefan: *Twitch* You're annoying, out of everyone here, you constely pick me out the bunch. You like me don't you.

She pretty much hate you dude.

Stefan: Usually people like her throw there anger that the person they can't obtain.

No, I really think she hates you…a lot.

Stefan: What she going to do? Jump into the fic?

You know that they can make there own chapter…right?

Stefan: *Twitch*

Eric, Can I do you?

Eric: Do you think you can handle me?

Breakfastclub76 asked Edward, Can you go in a corner and die? Oh and can you videotape it for me please, someone? Edward is not with us…yet. *Smile*

Damon: Don't tell me that Jacob after him.

…Damn I should had called him.

Sam: Who did you call?

You don't know him unless you like shojo anime.

Dean: Shojo?

Louis: Anime?

Let's go on. Everyone, what's your favorite song from the 80's? Take On Me!

Damon: I Eat Cannibals.

Stefan: Safety dance.

Eric: I don't really care about music.

Sam: Cult of Personality.

Lestat: I'll melt with you.

Dean: Livin' on a prayer.

Louis: When Doves Cry.

Sam: Chi, shouldn't you be nervous about bringing in so many vampires?

Yes, yes I am.

Sam: Damon, I dare you to photograph yourself shirtless and send me the pictures.

Damon: *Smirk* Already did. What's your email address?

Wow. Your fast.

Stefan: He has extra copy in his room.

Damon: Shut up.

Lestat, have you ever met Anne Rice? And could you get any sexier?

Lestat: I met her, she was a lady with exquisite taste. And Yes, I can.

Louis: Don't get a big head.

LeLelurvsGlee asked Edward, *He's not here right now*

Zero: *Throws Edward in the room* I didn't kill him…yet.

Thanks Zero!

Damon: Who's he?

He's Zero Kiryu, he's from Vampire Knight. And like most of you, he's trapped in a love triangle.

Damon: Is he stay?

I don't think.

Damon: Good.

Zero: *Pulls out gun* Why are there so many vampires!

He's a vampire hunter.

Damon: Oh! Now you tell us! Bitch.

Put the gun away, do you want to stay and replace Edward.

Edward: Hey! I have feelings too!

Stefan: Shut up you damn fairy!

Zero: I may come, to kill every vampire here.

Dean: *Places hands up* Me and Sam aren't vamps.

Zero: But you are their bitch.

Should we really go there? Or am I the only one who remembers that you willing sucked the blood from your love rivals neck. A very hot scene I might add!

Zero: I'm leaving. *Walks away*

Sam: He's a vamp.

Yeah pretty much. He's so hot!

Dean: I'm surprised you haven't gotten killed yet.

*Shrugs* I don't know either. So Edward, does it hurt to know that people hate you mare than Damon?

Damon: What I do!

Edward: I don't care. They can kiss my shiny ass! *Flicks off people*

I really liked the spacey Edward better.

Stefan: *Nods*

Cherise Brooklyn writes to Lestat and Louis, have you guys met Tom Cruise and Brad Pitt?

Louis: No.

Lestat: I met Tom Cruise but then he jumped on the couch and I left.

And out of everyone in the room, who would you have a threesome with?

Lestat: Stefan.

Stefan: *Twitch*

I thought you would have chosen Damon. Almost everyone does.

Lestat: I just want to hear his cries of passion.

Stefan: I don't want to cry anything. Stayawayfromme!

Louis: *Sighs* Sam.

SouthernHemmy wanted to tell Pam thank you and how it went?

Pam: Poor Danny boy caved in. But it was good while it lasted.

Sam and Dean, I want to be in the middle of your ice cream sandwich…heh heh.

Dean: Come on. I'm ready.

Sam: *Blush* Okay.

Louis, sweet romance and hot sex for chi *Blush* she need to be seduced by you…thank me later chi

Louis: *Places hand out* Come here Ch-ar-ity.

*Shakes head*

Louis: *Smiles*

Damon: We will not repeat last night!

Edward: You got your ass kicked.

Damon: Shut up.

EDDIE MAKE LIKE A HOCKEY PUCK!

Damon: You want to fight louey?

Louis: Don't underestimate me, boy.

Damon: Bring it.

Can you two please stop fighting?

Louis & Damon: Stay out of it!

*Twitch then clears throat*

Damon: You want to take this outside?

Louis: Be my guess.

*Demonic voice* SHUT UP! FINISH THE GOT DAMN SHOW!

Edward: Ohh! Scary voice.

Damon & Louis: *Stops*

Good. Dbz rox asked Damon, do you, like Ian, care about the oil spill that's happening in the gulf and do you want to kill the BP for letting this go on?

Damon: I don't care but I do like killing. So I would kill the BP, just cause I want to.

*sarcastic* Oh so noble.

Damon: Can it brat.

Anneryn7 wants to know, who is my favorite character out of everyone here? I hate to admit it but I would be Eric. Even though he's been giving me trouble.

Eric: *Shows fangs*

Pam, me or Eric?

Pam: I've been with Eric so many times, so I want you.

Huh?

Pam: Your so cute.

And that means.

Pam: I want to fuck you.

….Eric if you could do anything to me, what would it be?

Eric: Tie you up, fuck you still you can't get up, and then drain you of blood.

O.O….Why?

Eric: Do you really need an answer?

*Steps a few steps away from Eric* kiwi-luv said to Damon, Really kid? Really? I am not a kid, and if I an than you an old hag. Is so pissed off at Damon, doesn't even ask him a question.

Damon: *Shrugs* Okay your lost hun.

Stefan: How does it feel being my new favorite Salvatore? *Gives Stefan a nice bunny to devour*

Stefan: It feels good.

Damon: *Mumbles* Bastard.

BereniceAndrea asked Damon, would you do me?

Damon: Yes.

Sam: Do we really got to go through this again?

I think so. It's the end of the show! I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, Breakfastclub85, LeLelurvsGlee, pawprints25, Cherise Brooklyn, lind-z lou, Annie Cullen xx, SouthernHemmy, dirtdevilo76, dbz rox, anneryn7, kiwi-luv, and BereniceAndrea *Hope you get better* for reviews and questions. See you guys tomorrow! Peace!

Sam: Love!

Damon: You put your hands on her and I will kick our ass grandpa!

Louis: I'm not going to stoop down to your level.

Lestat: I will.

Bye! *Waves*


	35. Chris is evil

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Total Drama Island!

Chris: Hello campers! Today's challenge is tied to the movie Twilight.

Duncan: I hate that stupid movie.

Chris: Who doesn't…besides gay guys and young girls who haven't hit puberty yet.

Katie: I love that movie! Edward is too die for!

Sadie: No Jacob is! *swoons*

Courtney: You're all idiots! True Blood is better.

Gwen: Yeah!

Duncan: Wow, you two agreed on something.

Leshawna: How are those two?

Damon: Why the hell am I tied up?

Stefan: *Growls*

Chris: They are here for the first challenge. The make an live Edward doll.

Damon: Huh?

Chris: Teams do you have your bucket of glitter?

Everyone: Yes.

Damon: Don't you dare! *trys to get up from the chair* Why can't I get up?

Chef: Its make from my special chilly. It sticks to your bones.

Owen: It really does!

Chris: Go!

Everyone throws glitter on the Salvatores.

Damon & Stefan: *Twitch*

Chris: That's part one!

Izzy: I thought vampires were blood crazed psychopaths that will rip your tongue through your butt hole!

Damon: *Growls* I will.

Chris: Okay time to let the vampires shine.

Chef: *Sprays water on them* Water helps it slide off!

Stefan: I hate you.

Harold: Who doesn't?

Chris: The second part of this challenge, since they are free, to burn their living/dead bodies!

Damon & Stefan: O.O What?

Chris: You guys get a three second head start.

Damon: This doesn't even make sense!

Chris: three, two, one! GO!

Damon & Stefan: *starts running*

Chris: Ha ha! I love my life!

* * *

O.O…This is the last time I listen to Eric while writing a story.

Eric: *chuckles*

Ezekiel: Hey guys!

GO AWAY!

Ezekiel: Aw!

*Sigh* Let's start the show! Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Damon, I thought you gonna kill Edward. He doesn't deserve to live and neither does your idiotic brother?

Damon: You want to them or you want me to?

Naw. Let them wait, it will be in the chappie next week.

Damon: Fine. But Stefan is still going to be here, I wish he would stab himself in the head.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

Sam: Charity, Can you bring in Sookie, that way you aren't the only straight human there?

Pam: The girl's not straight.

*Blush* I'm bi, I don't mean it as just saying it to be cool but I really had been on both sides on the fence. *Feels awkward* But yeah I'll being in Sookie.

Dean: Stefan, you're disgusting you know that? I DO NOT LIKE YOU, I WANT TO KILL YOU! Can you get that though your head and just commit suicide?

Stefan: You must like me because you're still talking about me. I give up paying attention to you, so keep barking at me. Not going to give a shit.

She will come on here and kill you.

Stefan: *Shrugs* Don't care.

Here's a question for everyone, Do you want Stefan dead?

Dean: Not really.

Damon: Hell yes!

Eric: Could careless.

Sam: No.

Lestat: I just want him in my bed.

No, he saved me from some crazy things. *Thinks about it* Good times, good times.

Edward: Yes.

Louis: Who is he?

The one with the big eyebrows.

Louis: Maybe.

Pam: Don't give a shit.

Zero: BURN THAT BASTARD!

….Are you staying?

Zero: Pfft no.

…Okay? Now do you want Edward dead?

Dean: He's still here?

Damon: Fuck yes!

Eric: That breed of vampire should burn in hell.

Sam: He's a vampire?

Lestat: That fairy is a vampire. What the hell happened before I came here? Burn that abomination!

I have something big planned for him! *Smiles*

Edward: No.

Damon: Your opinion doesn't matter.

Stefan: Eric took the words right out of my mouth.

Louis: Edward is the really pale and ugly dude in the corner?

Yeah.

Louis: A disgrace to vampires and gothic children everywhere.

Zero: I want to shoot him in the head.

…I though you weren't staying.

Zero: *Stares at me*

Anneryn7 asked Damon, if you like Charity so much, then why don't you treat her better?

Damon: Fine. I like her...somewhat. The reason why I don't treat her right is that, she's a bitch.

You're a horrible person, you know that.

Damon: *Laughs* I know.

If you could pick only one person out of everyone there to torture (other than Edward, because that's a given) who would it be?

Damon: Eric, because he kissed me. You thought I forgot bastard.

Eric: Please punish me Damon.

Damon: *Twitch* Fuck that I go with Dean.

You can't change your answers!

Dean: What that hell I do?

Damon: You thought I forgot about the lap dance thing?

Dean:…You head butted me.

Damon: I'm watching you bastard.

O.O, Can I have some of those shirtless pictures too? Or can you show up to my house shirtless?

Damon: What's the address?

Dean: Pam, Charity & Eric, or Sam & Damon?

Pam: Can't I just have Sam & Charity and took them to my back room.

Sam & Me: O.O?

Pam: *Sighs* I want to try writer first, so her & Eric.

Who is one of the hottest women, in your opinion?

Pam: Megan Fox. The things I would do to her.

Stefan, If you weren't a vampire, what would you want to be instead?

Damon: He wants to be a human so he could die already.

Stefan: Yes I could want to be human so I won't have to look at your ugly ass no more.

Damon: *Twitch then tackles Stefan*

Damon & Stefan: *Fighting*

It's been a while.

Louis: I can tell.

Um…Stefan, if you ever felt unappreciated there, (or just with Damon) you can come live with me. I have a cat that you can have that my family has been trying to get rid of for ages. Lol.

Stefan: *Pushes Damon off* She wants to give me a cat to eat?

I don't think so.

Stefan: *Shrugs*

Eric, Do you ever tape your hot encounters with the people/vampires that you glamour?

Eric: Yes.

Who do you think is the hottest out of everyone there now?

Eric: *Smirk* Damon.

Damon: Stay away from me you old fart!

Lestat: *Leans over Eric* I'm surprised that you didn't say me.

Eric: That's easy. I don't trust you.

Lestat: *Leans closer* You wound me so.

Eric: I could careless.

LeLelurvsGlee, you didn't answer my question, can you just put it on the next chapter? I thought I did. But I'll do it. So Edward does it hurt to know that people hate you more than Damon? And I thought that was impossible.

Edward: I couldn't careless of what you evil bastards think of me. At least someone loves me.

Damon: Your mommy?

Edward: Shut up!

Breakfastclub85 Damon, if you could do any user that comments on here who would it be and why?

Damon: Easy. Rogue Assasin, she's a freak. *Smirks*

Stefan I dare you to act like Damon for the day, and Damon I dare you to act like Stefan for the day,

Damon: *Groans* Damn it.

Stefan: Hell.

I think we should do this tomorrow because it will give us something to do.

Damon: Thank Peter.

Who's Peter?

Damon: Peter Pan, Duh?

…Pam, who is the hottest guy you have ever met?

Pam: Brad Pitt. Man's good with his tongue.

Edward I dare you to make out with Jacob and make Bella watch.

Edward: Hell no. *Blushes*

Sam: *Eyes widen* You did it already!

Edward: It was what Bella wanted.

For once, go Bella. Who know that she was a freak…the nasty kind not what she usually is. But I do want to see it. So guess what your dare is?

Edward: Fuck.

Everyone, Fave 80's movie? A nightmare on Elm Street.

Eric: Poltergeist.

Dean: Back to the Future.

Sam: The Terminator.

Stefan: Raging bull.

Damon: Scarface.

Lestat: Sex, lies, and videotape.

Louis: Wings of Desire.

Pam: Fatal Attraction.

Edward: Stand by me.

Zero: Couldn't give a fuck.

*Narrows eyes* I'm no going to say anything. Why do I have brownie? Kiwi-luv, Zero why are you so hot? How does it feel to be my new favorite character in this story? *Hands you a vile of blood*

Zero: Um…thanks and I just born like this. It feels good?

Stefan, don't worry your still my favorite Salvatore, *Hands you a bunny*

Stefan: Thanks.

Well the next question comes from…

Zero: *Gets glomped*

Huh?

Yumi: Hi! Bye! *Disappears*

Damon: What the hell just happened!

That's what I want to know. Dirtdevil76 asked everyone, You guys should be nicer he doesn't do any harm to you? I know but I like messing with him.

Eric: I think he should just burn in hell.

Okay, guys what is your favorite horror movie? The Ring

Eric: None, they all suck.

Dean: Saw.

Sam: silent of the lamb.

Edward: Hostel.

Damon: Twilight, so scary I would never watch them again. *Laughs*

Edward: *Twitch*

Stefan: Cabin Fever.

Lestat: I made my own movies.

Louis: I could careless.

SouthernHemmy asked Eric, what is the most horrible thing you have witnessed in time? I know that you are basically an elder right?

Eric: Humankind is the most horrible thing I witness. I'm not an angel myself but for human to turn against each other for small things like race, sex, and other pathetic things like that is disgusting. Everything I've been through was because of human hatred and now, I could really careless.

Pam, if you could have Sam in a room alone with you what would you do to him?

Pam: I don't know but it would involve whips, chains and whip cream.

Sam, if you could trade anyone in this room for you dad who would it be? Let's make this interesting anyone besides Eddie…hell won't have him..hehe.

Sam: Damon, cause he would fit right in.

Damon: Jackass.

Dean, What is your most prized possession besides your gun?

Dean: My car!

Lestat, if you could be anywhere at this moment where would it be? And with whom?

Lestat: Anyplace that's not here and Stefan, who's laying down butt naked on my red satin sheets.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Louis, What would you say to Vlad the Impaler if you met him?

Louis: Did your mother not love yo well?

Stefan, why do you twitch so much around good looking guy? Is that the way you flirt, maybe?

Stefan: It's because I'm annoyed and I hate when they touch me. Lestat.

Lestat: *Innocent look* I'm being a good boy.

Damon, Would you like Pam to use a different technique on you? Maybe get a piercing somewhere?

Damon: I wouldn't get my stuff pierced maybe my nipples. Yeah, I would love for her to use different techniques on me.

Eddie, why don't you go shirtless as much as Jacob does? Are your abs in bad shape?

Edward: I have self respect and I'm ripped under my shirt/

BereniceAndrea asked Sam and Dean, do you think chi should bring in a hot werewolf?

Sam: Sure.

Dean: Might as well.

Damon, what do you think? A hot werewolf to kick Edward's shinny ass?

Damon: Is it a chick?

Stefan, do you fear for you life with those weirdo guys trying to rape you all the time?

Stefan: Yes. Yes I do.

Edward do you have any friends?

Edward: Yes.

Damon: Your family doesn't count and Bella.

Edward: My fans.

Damon you're hot. What do you like most about living with you r brother? Stefan can answer this question too.

Stefan & Damon: IT SUCKS!

Eric, you are intriguingly, how old are you?

Eric: I'm over 1000 years old.

Dbz rox writes for Dammit *Damon* You're on my list too, btw. So what ever happened to Barney? Is that why u r so depressed all the time because you miss your purple dinosaur?

Damon: *Twitch* I hate you.

Okay so the show is over! Yay! I'm very tired. I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, anneryn7, LeLelurvsGlee, Breakfastclub85, kiwi-luv, pawprints25, dirtdevil76, SouthernHemmy, BereniceAndrea, and dbz rox for reviews and questions.

Sam: Peace!

Dean: Love!

And chocolate! See you guys tomorrows!


	36. auditions!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Auditions!

Today I was thinking, why don't we do auditions for more characters to be on the show. American Idol has one; even so you think you can dance. We really need someone, other than me, to try and keep the peace!

Damon: Fuck that.

*Smirk* Bad Damon. You and Stefan's Dare already started!

Damon: *Growls*

That's better! So what you guys think? We need other then vampires here.

Zero: Who are you calling a vampire?

*Takes a few steps away from him* Only me, Sam *If he counts*, and Dean are the only humans here. Vampires popped up everywhere! Edward, Eric, Pam, Lestat, and Louis. We need more diversity! Who's with me!

Stefan: Fuck that.

Eric: Just more toys to play with.

Lestat: Well said.

Sam: I have a bad feeling about this.

Pam: I want chicks with big tits.

Louis:…

Dean: Let's rock and roll!

Damon: Pfft.

Zero: Why do we need more people?

Edward: She probably thinks it's fun.

*Chuckles* Yes! Yes I do. We might as well do questions along this ride. But let's bring in the first person.

*A girl walks in*

Hi! And your name is?

Girl: Bella.

Bella Swan?

Stefan: Next her ass!

Damon: Well said.

Pam: Take your shirt off.

…Pam this is for the show. It's not a porno.

Pam: Then change the rating to M.

Too much work. Okay if your going to be able to take some questions like , "When are you going to take you dull ass home?"

Bella: Kiss…my…butt?

Dean: The kid's not ready. Next her.

Exit to your left please.

Bella: *Frowny face and walks away*

*Next person walks in*

What's your name?

Guy: I'm Kaname.

Zero: *Loads gun* That bastard makes it through and I will kill you.

Sam: Why are you pointing the gun at me?

Zero: You're the closest.

Kaname: So Yuki's pet got out of his cage?

Zero: Burn in hell Kaname.

Kaname: Can we get on with the questions?

Yeah. Between you and Zero who would be top?

Kaname: Me.

*blushes* Anyone else got questions?

Dean: Are you a vampire?

Kaname: Yes. I'm a pureblood.

Sam: Pureblood?

We don't have time to go through that but we will call you back. *Smiles*

Zero: Fuck OFF!

Kaname: Don't walk alone at night Zero. *Walks away*

Zero: Keep walking you depression causing bastard.

Next!

Cartman: This is bullshit! You had me waiting for an hour you bitch.

*Twitch*

Stefan: When you are you going to die!

Cartman: Ha-ha! *Demonic voice* I'LL NEVER DIE!

Everyone: O.O.

Cartman: So are you going to call me later?

*nods*

Cartman: Okay. *Walks away*

Dean & Louis: The hell.

Next!

*next person walks in*

Barney: Hi everyone and I love you!

Where's Damon?

Damon: *Walks behind Barney and hits him with a bat* You bitch! You think I couldn't get you! With your pack of ninja monkey brats. Fuck You! *Beats Barney with a bat*

Stefan: *Laughs*

Damon: You see here! This is what happened to the purple bastard! *Growls* You want to be next?

…He's having a moment right now.

Damon: *Grabs Barney's Head and throws him*

O.O? The next question is from Heart-Broken-In-Love asked me, can I please come into the story so I can kill Stefan? If I can't kill can I just stake him a couple of times and yell and cuss at him? He really pissing me off. Please can I? Okay.

Crash. *Looks over*

Dean:…Who's the girl on Stefan.

Heart-Broken: *Stabs Stefan in the throat* DIE YOU FUCKING BASTARD! GO DIE IN A FUCKING CORNER!

Pam: Is it bad that I'm being turned on by this.

Sam: She just stabbed him in the eye.

*Slaps forehead* It's become crazy.

Heart-Broken: Woooh! I'm done.

*Looks over at Stefan* O.O.

Eric: Girl can do damage.

You didn't have to shove the stake down his throat. *Twitch* It looks so gross.

Heart-Broken: I didn't do much damage.

He doesn't have a face.

Stefan: *Leg twitches*

Heart-Broken: Peace. *Walks away*

Damon: I'm done.

Please give us a few seconds to clean up Barney's and Stefan's blood.

Can you guys take it seriously?

Stefan: Hey I didn't invite a crazed fan girl to shove a stake down my throat. *Spits out a piece of wood*

I didn't know she would do all that! Can let's conutie with a…what's this? *Holds up a paper full of claw marks*

*Guy walks in*

*Blush* H-hi.

Damon: But put a got damn shirt on!

Jacob: Don't have one on me.

Please don't put on a shirt. Why don't we go into a back room and finish this…

Damon: Try it and die. *twitch*

Jacob: Ha-ha. *whispers* Sure.

*Faints*

Pam: A sucker for a hot body.

Damon: I will kill you.

Sam: Pam would you do Sookie?

Pam: The things I would do to her.

Sam: Damon, how do you stand your annoying brother?

Damon: I block out his voice and imagine that a cool person was standing there. It's really hard to do but I had years of practice.

Sam: Edward, Guess what? You're a little more important. You and Stefan still suck but now your better then him. How does it feel? Oh and you still suck and I hate you, didn't you know that?

Edward: I liked you better when you were messing with Stefan. You angry little midget.

Jacob: So what I got to do to answer a few questions?

Lestat: Come into the back room with me and…

Louis: Don't listen to him. I was lured the same way.

Dean: *Raises eyebrows* Really?

Louis: Yes.

Eric: Well call you back soon. If she ever gets up?

*Still out*

Stefan: Let's move on.

Everyone: Yes.

Jacob: I'm still here.

Lestat: Get out of here before I rape you.

Jacob: O.O *runs out*

*Gets up* Where is Jacob?

Eric: He left after Lestat said that he was going to rape him.

… Why?

Lestat: I don't believe in lying.

Louis: Pfft. Liar.

Well who's next?

Gir: Beep beep I like waffles!

Huh?

Gir: Want me to sing the doom song?

Damon : What?

Stefan: NO DON'T!

Gir: Doom doom doom dooo doom de doom…

Eric: I'm going to kill it. *Twitch*

He twitched! The world as we know it is going to end!

Sam: Let's go back to questions.

Gir: Doy doy doooy!

Dbz rox asked Damon, Why are you so gay? Are you sure you don't do incest with Stefan?

Damon: Go burn in hell with all the bunnies Stefan ate.

Ouch. That's really mean.

Damon: Don't care.

Stefan, you're nothing but a bunny killer! How do you live with that shame?

Stefan: I picture your face as I eat them. *Smirk*

Edward, I'm on team Edward! I think I'm the only person who thinks you are hot. Anyways, kill Damon. He's really annoying. Or get Jacob to do it.

Edward: Finally I have a fan on this damnable show. I will kill…

Damon: Try it and your head's going in the toilet.

Edward: I watch you while your sleeping.

Damon: What?

Edward: Nothing.

Let's bring in the next person.

Gir: I'm not done with my song.

Please leave. Please.

Gir: Okay!

Starfire: Hello I am Starfire! I wanted to see the people who suck the blood out of other people.

You mean vampires?

Starfire: Yes the beings called vampires!

Pam: Please leave. Now.

Starfire: Okay. *Leaves*

Pam: I turn straight for three seconds. She would be hot if you put duck tape over her mouth.

*Laughs*

Kiwi-luv said to Damon, your on my good side again don't try to screw it up. *Hands you a pint of human blood* Stefan *Hands you a bunny*, Zero *Blows you a kiss. Hands you blood and gives you some suggestive pictures cause you're my favorite*, Chi, stay away from Zero he's mine. If you don't I'll make a fanfic of you marring Bella.

Damon: Bella?

Haha! Go ahead and try!

Dean: She said Bella.

Huh? I thought she said Alice. *Frowny face* Lol.

Breakfastclub85 asked Damon, who's you favorite Spice Girl?

Damon: Baby spice.

Sam & Dean, N Sync or Backstreet Boys?

Sam: Backstreet Boys

Dean: N Sync all the way baby.

Everyone, Best concert you have ever been to? Paramore!

Dean: AC/DC!

Sam: Bon Jovi.

Damon: Snoop Dog.

Really?

Damon: I was high half of the time and I don't even smoke.

Stefan: none.

Lestat: Same.

Louis: Elton John.

Pam & Eric: We never went to one.

Pam, what is the craziest thing you have done to Damon?

Pam: Placed a clamp on Damon's nipples and pulled them off.

Damon: *Smirk*

Damon, I dare you to have a threesome with Barney & Elmo in big birds nest.

Damon: I want to push you off the cliff and watch you fall to your death.

Bubbles: Can I do my thing now?

Oh! Sorry.

Bubbles: My name is Bubbles and I'm from the Power puff girls.

Sam: She's cute. But I don't think it's a good idea to bring on a little girl.

Bubbles: I'm not little.

Sam: Your six years old. Maybe a little older.

Bubbles: What are you talking about? I had sex with twenty guys before getting here.

O.O!

Bubbles: *Smiles*

Well call you later.

Bubbles: Okay. *Floats away*

Dean: Let's go to some more questions.

Yeah. Cherise Brooklyn asked Everyone, why do you guys hate the people who play you on the shows/movies? And Damon, you're hot. Can you fuck me to Kentucky?

Eric: I don't care about the guy. He can do whatever he wants.

Damon: Give me my face back Ian!

*Rolls eyes*

Damon: And I fuck you to father places.

Dirtdevil76 asked Damon, can you kill Justin Bieber for me? Please?

Damon: Yes. I'll bring his head as proof.

LeLelurvsGlee dares Damon, I dare Damon to spend 10 minutes alone with Eric in a locked room. And Damon since you never turn down a dare GOOD LUCK!

Damon: Fuck that add that shit to my record thingy. I will not be locked in a room with Satan!

Eric: *Chuckles* Damon's a Pussy!

Damon: I do today.

You suck.

Damon: I'll choke you.

Just do it.

Damon: Fine, but tomorrow. Let me get ready.

No weapons.

Damon: Fuck.

SouthernHemmy asked Pam, how good is Eric in bed? Who begs for more, you or him?

Pam: He's really good and he's the only man to make me beg for anything.

Sam and Dean: Who would you invite to a hot tub? And Charity is already in the hot tub waiting for you… Huh? *Looks down* How did I get in here?

Sam: Castile.

Dean & Me: Really?

Sam: I want to shove his head in the water.

Dean: Scary. Well I'll invite Paris Hilton. Nuff said.

*Shakes head* Lestat, could you make Damon you bitch? And how long do you think it would take?

Lestat: *Looks at Damon* One week…make it two days.

Damon: You and Eric can burn.

Louis, If you could kill Damon or Stefan who would you choose and why?

Louis: Damon because he is loud and annoying.

Damon: Like I get a damn what you think.

Stefan, why won't you admit you want Lestat to have you?

Stefan: I don't want him! Or him wanting me!

Lestat: Whips and chains. Don't that sound like fun Stefan?

Stefan: *Twitch*

Zim: Gir! Where are you!

Are you here for the show?

Zim: I'm not here for your stupid human show! Where's Gir!

Gir: I like you! *Clings on to Eric*

Eric: *Lets out a breath*

Gir: Want me to sign to you?

Eric: Do you want you tongue in you mouth.

Gir: I have a metal tongue.

Zim: GIR! GIR GET DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW!

Gir: Bye!

Eric: I want to kill him.

*nervous laugh* future mrs. wayland asked Edward, how do the sparkles show up through all the make-up they have to use to draw on your fake abs?

Edward: Die.

Everyone, if you could dress up as anything for Halloween what would it be? C.C. from code geass!

Dean: A ghost/

Pam: A witch.

Eric: Nothing. If you say something I will bite you and you will not like it.

*Gulp*

Sam: A demon.

Stefan: A rock star.

Lestat & Louis: nothing.

Damon: Stefan so I could scare the kids and bird away.

Stefan: *Growls*

Edward: Batman.

Zero: nothing.

Your still here?

Zero: Got a problem with it?

Nope. You're so hot!

Damon: I'm watching you, writer!

He's like a creepy dad. *shivers*

BereniceAndrea asked Stefan *acting like Damon*

Stefan: *sighs*

Why are you so evil all the time? what is the master plan behind those evil eyes?

Stefan: I'm going to wipe everyone off the show. These bastards made it so crowded in here. Like fucking cock roach!

Damon *Acting like Stefan* Do you brood so much because of your brother? Do you have a favorite animal blood type?

Damon: Sorry I'm emoing over here while I'm eating a bunny. Emo angst emo.

Stefan: I fucking hate you.

Damon: Got him to a T.

Sam, Do you consider Dean your bff?

Sam: Yeah.

Dean, do you like being on this show?

Dean: Not really.

Eric: Omg you're old, what's your secret?

Eric: Drinking a lot of blood from young women.

*Steps away from Eric*

Edward, I hope you burn in hell soon.

Edward: right after you.

Is this the end of the auditions?

Dean: I guess so.

Good because I want to be lazy. Anneryn7 said to Damon, *Whispers my address Damon's ear *I change my mind…you don't have to wear clothes*

Damon: Nice.

Damon, is someone made Stefan their bitch (Which I'm not saying I want to happen because I love Stefan) would you do anything to stop it?

Damon: Ha. No. That's what that bastard deservers!

Eric, would you hook up with Buffy Summers (The vampire slayer)?

Eric: Yeah,

Would you let me watch?

Eric: Go ahead.

If you wouldn't hook up with her…or if you did, would you…hook up with me?

Eric: Yeah.

Okay! The story is over! I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, dbz rox, kiwi-luv, Breakfastclub85, Cherise Brooklyn, dirtdevil76, LeLelurvsGlee, SouthernHemmy, future mrs. wayland, BereniceAndrea, and anneryn7 for reviews and questions. Choose the next person for the show. There will be more soon. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Dean: And Chocolate!

Bye guys!

Naruto: What about me!

Damon: Go away you orange demon!

Naruto: I will be back, BELIEVE IT!


	37. auditions 2!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Audition 2!

Just let me have my day!

Damon: NO MORE AUDITIONS!

Stefan: *Rolls eyes* Stop acting childish.

Damon: I can act anyway I got damn feel like it.

Eric: ….

Lestat: I wonder if I kidnapped him would he fall for me later down the line?

Louis: You're pretty much stuck on getting Stefan into bed huh?

Lestat: I like challenges.

Sam: I wonder who's going to be next.

Pam: As long as she/he has be boobs I'm good with anything.

Dean: He?

Pam: Trannys are hot.

Edward: Why do you keep looking at me like that?

Zero: Because I will blow a fucking hole in your head if you try anything vamp!

Edward: Aren't you a vampire too.

Zero:…Don't change the subject!

Naruto: HEY YOU BASTARDS DON'T IGNORE ME!

Black Star: YEAH!

O.O….Oh no!

Damon: I know the orange bastard but who's the blue haired bastard?

Please don't get him started.

Black Star: I AM GOD!

There he goes.

Damon: No more anime bastards. We have mister I-going-to-kill-you-if-you-twitch-the-wrong-way emo boy in the corner.

ZERO PUT THE GUN DOWN!

Zero: *Lows the gun pointed at Edward*

Leave him alone!

Zero: Pfft. *Puts gun up and glares at Edward* I'm watching you.

Black Star: HEY! GODS HERE! BOW TO MY GREATNESS.

…Right.

Naruto: Who the hell are you?

Black Star: I'm God.

Naruto: No your not.

Black Star: Yes I am you spike yellow haired bastard! What's with the whispers, you're not a cat!

Naruto: Well…you're just a big rip off of me TEME!

Black Star: *Tackles Naruto*

*Sighs* Let's start with a small break by asking the main characters in the story. Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Pam Did you say you were getting turned on by me attacking Stefan?

Pam: *Purrs* Yes.

Freak.

Pam: You know you want to try it.

Damon: Go away. *mumbles* Bitch.

Stefan, How did you like getting your ass kicked by a human girl?

Stefan: It's not like I fought back. I don't fight girls when they are on their periods. I don't fight girls' period.

Damon: I do.

Stefan: Well that's Damon.

Damon, did you kill Barney? Are you gonna kill the kidds too?

Damon: *twitch* No. That bastard was a freakin ninja but he did leave a note that said, "I watch you while you're sleeping." I come to find out that the person in the suit was really three kids and a midget. Well their dead. I trace him down and killed some kids but I could find Raven.

Sam: *Whispers* Who's Raven?

He was the leader of the kids that ganged up on the Damon.

Dean: *Laughs* That's what that bastard gets.

Damon: Shut it.

Jasper: Getting into trouble Eddie.

*Steps away* I don't trust you.

Jasper: I'm taken.

I better not get a paper cut around you. *narrows eyes*

Jasper: I'm here for the audition so I can keep an eye on Edward.

Edward: *Hiss* I don't need your help!

Jasper: He's been moody lately.

Okay. So you can take a hate comment?

Jasper: Yeah.

Damon: You fucking fairy get the hell out and go back to twilight you punk bitch.

Jasper: *Smiles* Go to hell. Stop hating on me because you can't sparkle like me.

*Claps* Wow. You're good!

Sam: He's hot.

Jasper: Thanks. *Smiles*

Where's Alice!

Jasper: She not here right now.

*Frowny face* Okay. We'll call you back later.

Jasper: Whatever. *Walks away*

Kiwi-luv asked Damon, did you expect me to make a fanfic of you marrying Chi? Is that way you said Bella in a surprised way? If you're good in the sac for me I might make that happen.

Damon: I rather have acid poured down me throat. *Looks at me*

*Hugging Sam* Your soo cuddly!

Sam: *Blushes* I'm not a cat!

Damon: DON'T MAKE ME RIP YOUR ARMS OFF HIM! *Twitch, Twitch*

Dean: So scary!

Damon: GO AWAY!

Dean: To chi, If Damon is good in bed with me I'll make a Damon/Chi/Alice one shot.

….*Pushes Damon* GO GO GO!

Damon: Stop pushing me!

Go rox her socks off!

Damon: I'm not a whore that you can just pimp out. I do fine by myself!

Kiwi please make it Alice and me. Please.

Damon: I'm going to kill you. *Grabs me by the collar* Let's go to the back room.

*Shakes head* NO!

Damon: *Drags me*

NO! I WANT ALICE!

Dean: *Shakes head*

Sam: What's in the back room?

Pam: Chains, whips, there's no telling what he's doing to her.

Dean: *Sighs* Eddie congratz kid you are now second to my most hated list, Naruto took your place.

Edward: Oh whoopee!

Sam: Zero let's have a rendezvous like they did with Jenny and Chuck…

Zero: Who's that?

Sam: *Shrugs* She brought a lot of stuff. Mase spiked with vamp-fairy repellant and a hug for Stefan.

Dean: Okay. Who is next?

Billy: Meezs!

Stefan: *Left eye twitches* Not you.

Billy: Mandy wanted me to come here and sing for American idol.

Sam: This isn't that kind of show!

Billy: *Clears throat* LALALLLLLAAAAA!

*Everyone covers their ears*

Eric: I'll get the throat.

Pam: No more.

Lestat: My ears are bleeding

Damon: *Throws a shoe and hit Billy in the head*

Sam: Thank God!

*Crawls* I hate you.

Damon: Go in a hole and die.

Lestat: What happened in the back room?

Damon: Would you like to know?

Dare Time! *Evil smirk*

Damon: *Eyes widen* No.

Eric: *Grabs Damon* Let's go!

Damon: NO!

Eric: *Takes Damon in the back room*

Damon: I HATE YOU LELE!

Dean & Pam & Me: *Laughs*

Lestat: I wanted to watch.

Zero: Perverts.

Louis: …*Sighs*

Edward: …

Ten Minutes Later.

Damon: *Runs out the room with a rip shirt* Fucking bastard.

Eric: *Smirk and wipes the blood from his cheek*

Let's go to questions! *Chuckles*

Damon: Don't go to sleep tonight bitch!

*Smirk*Breakfastclub85 asked Damon, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

Damon: Allow myself to be forced into a room with that bastard and killing babies.

Stefan, if you could do anything to Edward what would it be?

Stefan: Tie him to a ceiling and slit his throat and watching the blood drain from his throat.

Violent much?

Stefan: *Smirks*

Sam & Dean which one of you would win in a fight against each other?

Sam & Dean: ME!

Sam: If I was serious yeah I would kick your butt.

Dean: Bring it on!

Winchesters…make out.

Pam: Talk about disappointing.

*Sigh* Damon, what would you do if Katherine walked into the room right now?

Damon: Rape her then stab her in the heart. She deserves it.

Louis: Chi, can you please bring in Edward's much more attractive brother, Jasper?

Jasper: Hello!

Go away you haven't been chosen yet.

Jasper: Bitch. *Walks away*

LeLelurvsGlee asked me if she could come into the story to hurt Edward? …Sure?

BOOM!

OH CRAP NOT AGAIN!

LeLe: *Bashes Edwards head against the table*

Zero: GO GIRL!

LeLe: *Throws Edward*

Stefan: At least it wasn't me.

Poor guy.

*Sounds of bones cracking*

Dean: O.O The flying elbow?

Edward: *Cried and bleeds*

O.O…

LeLe: Much better. Bye!

O.O…What is wrong with women today?

Pam: That was hot!

….pawprints25 said to Stefan, I wonder why everybody dislikes you.

Stefan: Huh?

Everyone, why do you dislike Stefan? I like Stefan!

Damon: He's a bitch, nuff said.

Lestat: I wonder what color dress would match his skin color.

Sam: I like him. He's nicer than Damon…*Mumbles* Who doesn't have a soul.

Damon: Yeah I don't so suck on that!

Louis: I hate them all.

Ouch.

Edward: Burn Stefan Burn!

Zero: I just want to shoot him in the head.

Pam: He's a teddy bear with fangs.

Eric: Could care less.

Dean: I like him better than Damon.

Buffy: Um…how long do I have to wait?

Sorry…Buffy?

Buffy: Yeah.

Why do you want to be on a show full of vampire if you're a vampire slayer?

Buffy: I screw them too.

True. So if I said Edward want s to do you, what would you say?

Buffy: I'll rip his spine from his butt hole. He's not my type.

But what if it's a dare?

Buffy: I would roundhouse kick him in the head.

O.O We'll call you soon.

Buffy: Okay. *Walks away*

Sam: Kind of scary but witty.

Damon: Who's next?

Bob: Me.

Who the hell are you?

Bob: I'm Bob.

Yeah I kinda knew that?

Bob: Do you want meat?

Damon: The hell you say.

Bob: It's made from real cows….

Whoa whoa whoa! I thought Beast boy ate you!

Bob: *Face opens* It is the leader of the Tofu race and I say give me the show.

*Narrows eyes* No.

Bob: Well taste your demises. *Spits out white stuff* There, come here and slip in it.

*Walks over to Bob and hits him with a bat* Bye Bob.

Bob: Respect your elders!

Screw you. Good bye! *Hits Bob with a bat and watches him fly* That felt good!

Damon: I bet so.

Gir: Hi!

Eric?

Eric: *Gets up from his seat and grabs the bat out of my hand*

Gir: Duuby Doo Duuby.

Eric: *Hits Gir with a bat*

Sam: I felt that.

Anneryn7 *Whispers to Damon* Thanks for last night. You look so much better without your clothes on.

Damon: I know.

If you had to switch lives with Dean or Stefan, who would it be?

Damon: Dean. Because I can be in hell and kick Satan in the ball and tell him to make me a got damn sandwich.

Eric, If you could be a judge on American Idol, who would it be?

Eric: Simon.

*Whispers to Eric* Last night was pretty amazing. Fell free to come back anytime, you know where the spear key is.

Damon: Pfft. He must had came after. Bastard always watching me.

For me. I think you should bring on Hayley Williams from Paramore or Simon cowell from American idol.

BroadwayAngelLyric asked, Can we bring on Elena on so she can see how Stefan has turned gay?

Stefan: Jump into a dark hole.

Also can we bring Bill on so Eric could whoop his ass?

Eric: *smirks*

Eddie boy, will you kill yourself?

Edward: Ha-Ha. Stupid brat.

Cherise Brooklyn asked Damon, has it ever occurred to you that Ian Somerhalder is like what Katherine is to Elena?

Damon: So he fucked Elena too?

I don't think that's what she meant.

Damon: Pfft.

Would you rather have a foursome with Spongebob, Squidward and Patrick, or be locked in a room with Barney?

Damon: The locked room.

Stefan you're the hotter version of Robert Pattinson.

Stefan: Thanks?

BereniceAndrea asked Damon, do you think there's someone hotter than you in that room?

Damon: Pfft. Nope!

Stefan was Damon a good brother to you when you were a kid and …alive, like 150 years ago?

Stefan: Yeah he was the best brother a guy could have but he's an ass now. I miss the old days.

Damon: The old days don't miss you.

Dean, do you consider that Salvatores your friends? I think they secretly love you.

Damon: Pfft well you thought worry.

Dean: I think of Stefan as a good friend but Damon is like an angry Chewbacca.

Damon: Burn in hell.

Sam, Don't be jealous, we all love you.

Sam: Thanks. *Smiles*

Edward I may go to hell but I'll drag you with me and don't even doubt that sparkly idiot! I freakin hate you!

Edward: I hate you too.

The last one! Yeah!

*Walks in*

O.O…

Simon: Hello and I'm here for your wretched show. Giving my part to help your crapy show.

*Blink* What?

Simon: Come on. Hit me with your best question.

Okay.

Dean: You sack of shit why don't you run back to your bitch Ryan.

Simon: … *Starts crying* I'm going home

O.O.

Simon: *Runs out the room*

WTF!

Pam: Just as confused as you are.

SouthernHemmy asked Chi…may I come into the show at the end? I just want to borrow Damon for a little while and I would like to invite Pam and Eric to go with me into the back room with Damon...ok? Go for it!

Dean: Stefan, if you could have kids would you have them with Katherine or Elena? And would they be safe around you?

Stefan: Elena because Katherine would kill or eat them. I would be safer than Damon.

Damon: Shut up.

Sam, Why do you blush so much? I don't mind I think it makes you hotter….

Sam: I get nervous at times.

Dean, I think you are just plain hot…can I play with your gun?

Dean: Anytime.

Lestat: If you go back and not be a vampire would you still chose to be one?

Lestat: Yes because it's fun.

Louis: What did you think of Cartman?

Louis: The little boy needed an exorcism.

Jacob, just one…smiles never mind…just stares and smiles…

Jacob: I'm on the show?

Not yet. The viewers are the one's to choose so who will it be? The show is over and I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, kiwi-luv, Breakfastclub85, LeLelurvsGlee, pawprints25, anneryn7, BroadwayAngelLyric, Cherise Brooklyn, Vampire Princess 900, dirtdevil76, BereniceAndrea, SouthernHemmy, and NykkiLeighVampireHeart for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love

Dean: And Chocolate!

Damon: Why am I being kidnapped?

Jenn: Come on Eric and Pam!

O.O? This show gets crazier. *Laughs*

Louis & Lestat: Bye!

.


	38. The couple game!

Shows They Can't Do Together

The Couple Game!

Yes I know I know. It's supposed to be the Newly Wed Game but none of us are married…I don't think. So today were playing a game to see who know the other the best. Earlier we drew names and now I am in hell.

Damon: Do you think it's a walk in the park for me?

Why couldn't I have Sam or Stefan?

Dean: What about me?

You too! It better than being with Mr. Arrogant!

Damon: Pfft. Better to be with a short bitch.

Bitch!

Host: Calm down! Let's get started.

Me & Damon: Yes sir.

Host: Hello everyone and today were playing the couple game! The rules are easy. Just write down your partner's answers.

Stefan: Can I trade mine!

Edward: Shut up. I don't like you either.

Sam: Um Pam…can you stop rubbing my butt?

Pam: You're so cute.

Zero: Stop starting at me vamp!

Lestat: I bet you're a cute little catcher!

Eric:…

Dean:….

Who's going to pair up with Louis?

Louis: I'm fine. Really I am.

Come on!

Jasper: I'll do it.

Louis: Why did you have to show up?

Jasper: It sounded like fun. *Smiley face*

Jacob: I wanted to play too!

*Narrows eyes* Fine.

Host: Okay teams the first question is…what is your partner's favorite food. You have ten seconds to write down you answers.

Ten second

Host: Okay. Team one what is you answer.

Blood.

Damon: Shrimp.

Host: That is correct!

Damon: You had better gotten that right.

*Twitch*

Host: Team two?

Stefan: Stakes.

Edward: His manhood.

Host: *Clears voice* Team three.

Sam: Blood.

Pam: Me.

Sam: Your not food.

Pam: You know you want me.

Host: *twitch* Team Four.

Zero: Humans.

Lestat: Blood.

Zero: *Twitch* Don't go there.

Host: Team five.

Dean: Blood.

Lestat: Burgers.

Host: Team five.

Jacob: Blood.

Jasper: Blood.

Louis: Anything with meat.

Host: Okay round one is other. Team one, team four, and team five will move on.

Stefan: Oh well.

Host: Okay, the next question is…who is your partner's crush?

Ten seconds later

Eric

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of my head*

Host: What was you answer Damon?

Damon: Some Japanese guy.

He's name is Shota Matsuda!

Damon: I will snap that bastard's neck.

You leave him alone!

Host: I quit. It's too many fights for this host. What do I look like Jerry Springer?

Zero: I thought you were.

Host: *Screams*

Everyone: O.O.

This is the last time we use that host.

Damon: Agree.

* * *

If you want to know who Shota Matsuda is? Then go watch Liar Game. He is so yummy, no matter what hair style he wears.

Damon: Let's get this question thing over with.

Everyone: O.O

It's like a mountain!

Damon: That's what your dumbass get for doing it too late.

I can't stay up and do it. I have school tomorrow.

Pam: Do it tomorrow.

Your right. There are a lot of questions and I like to answer them all but I won't today. But I will make it up to you guys tomorrow. *Sighs* I got a lot to do.

Stefan: Sucks for you.

*Claps* Okay. I owe you answers, dares and appearances tomorrow. Because I'm working on many fics and I'm starting to get tired. Lol. But you guys have my word, I'll do all of it. Please don't get mad at me.

Damon: I say stake the bitch.

You are not helping.

Damon: Wasn't playing on it.

Okay. I want to thank kiwi-luv, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Breakfastclub85, SouthernHemmy, Rogue Assasin, dbz rox, BroadwayAngelLyric, LeLelurvsGlee, Vampire 900, anneryn7, and dirtdevil76 for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Dean: And Chocolate!

Sam: Are you sure you can do this.

Yes…somewhat.


	39. Q & A

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Q & A

Jack: Hiya! I'm Captain Jack Sparrow and I come off the Black Pearl just to help out with this tiny, dirty, crusty thing they call a show.

What?

Jack: You heard it you little cutie pie. I'm taking over this show because…

You lost the Black Pearl again. Haven't you?

Jack: …No. I just happened to misplaced it. That is the huge differences love.

Sam: He's flirting with Chi, Damon.

Damon: *Twitch* I'm…calm….cool….and collected. I don't care.

Jack: So when are you going to let this old chap see what's in the back room?

*Blush* I've always been forced back there.

Jack: I wouldn't do that to a lovely lass.

Damon: You son of a….

Sam: Let's start the show! *Nervous laugh*

So let's start with Kiwi-luv! Damon I was planning on raping you but now that I know you gay I would feel too bad. I mean what kind of straight guy says no to a threesome with two hot chicks?...

Damon: Hold up a second. Did she just call me gay?

Edward: Yes.

Damon: For one I'm not gay! Two this little bitch would hog Alice and the thought of her with someone else makes me sick…

O.O Did you…?

Damon: Fuck that! I don't like you. I just think you would give that person a bad taste in their mouth.

Jackass!

Damon: Bitch!

I'll just do Ian, he's straight so its not as bad, he'll enjoy himself! Oh well too bad you wouldn't have had to even call back!

Damon: I'm ready to burn a kiwi!

*Kisses* Zero, your just sexy. *Slaps* Edweirdo, maybe I'll knock some sense into him.

Zero: Shoot him next time.

Edward: Shut up brat.

Jack: So Daman wants you!

Damon: It's Damon!

Jack: This chick wanted to marry you two.

*Blush and shakes head* I'm good being single! *Nervous laugh* I don't want to die from the fan girls.

Damon: Do it and in front of the fan girls so they could tear her to shreds.

Your evil!

Damon: *Smirks*

Jack: *Pulls out a bottle* It said if he refuses, (Has Shouta on the phone line) you know what.

What if I refuse?

Damon: You ain't fusing shit!

Jack: *Clears throat* It said if you refuse then go into the back room with me.

Sam: *Takes paper from Jack* Where does that say that?

Jack: *Takes a drink* It at the bottom in teeny tiny letters.

Dean: …You're just trying to get laid.

*Shakes head*

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Damon, What did Eric do too you?

Eric: *Smirk*

Damon: That bastard tried to rape me! He ripped clothes but I kept running. He caught me for a second and kissed me…*Shivers* I hate him.

How you break from his grip?

Eric: He slapped me like a bitch.

Damon: Reflex, bastard.

Zero, why don't you point that gun at Stefan and shoot? If you do that you will be the best character there *whispers* after Damon.

Zero: No problem. *Points at Stefan*

*Stands in front of Stefan* No we need him!

Zero: *Pulls the trigger*

*The bullet whizzes past our heads*

Zero: I won't miss next time. Watch your back Stefan, if writer wasn't there I would have killed you. I just didn't want blood to get on her.

O.O…*Faints*

Stefan: *Catches me* Poor kid.

Jack: *Opens mouth and holds up a finger*…

Stefan: No. Pervert.

Jack: Don't get mad at me because I tried.

Dean: Will you and Eric please show up to my house naked?

Pam: *Licks lip* What's your address?

Jack: Everyone if either Charity or Stefan had to die, who would you choose to die? You better not choose Charity, she's the best! Is she glaring at us? Or love?

Damon: Wow. Sorry Charity, you die.

*Wakes up*O.O!

Dean: Stefan.

Sam: Stefan.

Eric: Stefan.

Pam: Stefan.

Lestat: Bye Charity.

Louis: Bye Stefan.

Zero: BURN STEFAN!

Edward: Yeah! What he said!

Jack: I like the lass so your screwed Stefan.

Stefan: I would have chosen myself. I've been alive for a long time…

Zero: Don't be noble acting now vampire. I'll kick you in the balls and shoot you in the head…bastard.

*Jumps from Stefan's arms* Thank Stefie!

Stefan: No prob.

Damon: Hey. When I say Stefie you flip the fuck out but when she says it your all smiley and shit.

Stefan: Maybe I've fallen for Chi too.

Damon: …Don't play like that, teddy bear.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

Rogue Assasin asked Eric, how would you go about making Edward your whore and would you put him in a red thong and make him pole dance his sparkly ass?

Eric: I don't think he would fill the red thong in all the right ways but he might make money if he dressed up for our gay customers.

Edward: I'm not doing shit. *Pulls out a cigarette*

Eddie. What would you do if Dean bent and 'staked' you?

Edward: *Lights the end of the cigarette* You guys are dirty! I would rip that bastard apart! My hole is for stuff to come out, not to go in.

Dean: He's not my type.

Stefan, what would you do if Elena got knocked up with Damon's baby?

Stefan: I would be pissed.

Jack: I wouldn't want the wrench after she was tainted. Babies are a disease.

…Ouch. I like babies.

Jack: Well they don't take a fancy towards me.

Pam, how many times have you got into Damon's pants since coming to the show?

Pam: *Sitting down with legs crossed* A few times but he always been calling out someone else name.

….

Damon: It's Elena's name. I don't think about you.

Pam: I thought that Elena's name started with E not a C.

Damon: Say anymore and I will kill you.

Pam: I really doubt that. *Blows kiss*

Lestat how would you seduce Stefan and Louis would that make you jealous?

Lestat: I'm just waiting for the right time. Like when he's in the shower or when he's asleep. *Laughs*

Louis: I admit I'm a little jealous.

Pam: Work it girl!

Huh?

Rogue: *Dancing on the pole*

O.O, when did we get a pole?

Sam: I wanted to know that too.

Rogue: *Jumps off the pole and slaps Edward* I hope you like going ball less. *Smile*

Edward: Huh?

Rogue: *Holds up a blow torch* Hold him down Stefan!

Stefan: Okay! *Holds Edward*

Edward: Let me go!

Rogue: *Smirk*

O.o

Damon: *Covers pants* Ouch!

I'm a girl and I felt that one.

Rogue: *Throws the blow torch to the side and grabs Damon* Pucker up. *Kisses him*

Damon: *Kisses back*

Speaking of Alice…

Edward: *Screaming*

Dean: No one was speaking about Alice.

In my mind.

Rogue: *Pushes Damon back* Peace out!

Bye! Come again soon!

Damon: Jealous?

*Cocks head to the side* About what?

Jack: *laughs* Bloke she doesn't care about you!

Damon: Do you want to fight?

Jack: I don't like confrontations.

…. Breakfastclub85 asked Sam, can I give you a super long hug?

Sam: Um…sure? *Blushes*

Hannah: *Goes and hugs Sam*

Sam: *Hugs back*

Dean: How long is the hug?

She just said long.

Sam: Um…you can let go now.

Hannah: No.

Sam: O.O.

Damon, can we get drunk together sometime?

Damon: Sure.

Stefan I dare you to get locked in the backroom with Lestat for an hour?

Jack: What's with all the bloody gay dares?

Stefan: They think its fun. Fan girls are scary.

Damon: So true.

Stefan: But I'll do it. Tomorrow. Hopefully I'll have me manhood in tacit.

Lestat: Your not.

Stefan: O.O.

Jack: Chi. Cute name love.

Well thank…

Damon: Finish the question!

Jack: Oh fine! Your no fun, where was I? Chi, may I please come in at some point, go in the backroom and take your place in the threesome with Stefan &Damon?

Have at it.

Damon: I'm not your whore!

Dbz rox said, for Damon, you're a bitch. End of story. Now go screw Stefan so we can finally see an Salvatore incest happen. Or…

Damon: Or what?

Dbz: *Takes out stakes and rams it into Damon's eye balls*

Everyone: OH!

Dbz: Have fun Damon.

Damon: I'M GONNA KILL YOU! *takes out stakes*

*Throws up*

Dbz: *Hugs Edward* You are so awesome and Stefan isn't so bad either. *Let's go of Edward and hand Stefan a bunny* If Damon isn't dead then could you or Jacob finish the job please? He really needs to die!

Damon: *flips the bird* Wait till I get my eyes back wrench.

Jacob, Why didn't you kill Edward when u had the chance and take Bella from him?

Jacob: Hey. I'm here. I should have. Just stabbed him in the eyes and piss on him. Bastard.

Jack: *Looks at the bottle* Either I'm so drunk that I'm seeing his eyes grow back or I'm just really drunk.

*Slaps forehead* BroadwayAngelLyric asked Damon, LeLelurvsGlee is my real life sister. Can I come in the story and we can double team her and Stefan? I'll even help you get Barney.

Damon: Fine.

Sam: Can someone save me. Hannah is still hugging me!

LeLelurvsGlee asked Damon can you go ahead and stake yourself?

Damon: Go chock on beef jerky!

Eric and Pam, do you know that you awesome?

Eric: Yes.

Pam: Ever since I was born.

Chi can I come in and hurt Damon too and may I also kidnap Edward? Sure?

Host: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls let me welcome you to the Sibling Fighting! Brought to you by Bob, King of the Tofu people.

Bob: Eat tofu so we can owe your souls!

O.O I swear that this story always gets crazier without me really trying.

Dean: Yeah I can see that.

LeLelurvsGlee & Stefan vs. BroadwayAngelLyric & Damon!

Broadway: Bring it on!

LeLe: You're going down!

Stefan: What just happened?

Damon: I have no idea. The girl dragged us into another crazy thing.

Host: Ready! Set! Go!

Broadway: *Attacks Stefan*

LeLe: *Attacks Damon*

Jack: *Drinks from bottle* I want to know one thing…where is your booze?

We don't have any.

Jack: …No booze?

Nope!

Jack: No gin.

Nope!

Jack: Not even a freakin Smirnoff?

No.

Jack: I don't like being sober…*Falls to the ground*

That's Sober?

Host: LeLe brought out stakes and Broadway brought out a blow torch! The brothers are just standing there. HEY MAKE THE FIGHT MORE INTERESTING!

Everyone: *Freezes* O.O

Jack: I think…I hear God talking to me.

*Narrows eyes* What?

Jack: He says to buy me more booze or I'll die.

*Slaps forehead and walks away*

Jack: Do you want me to die love?

Anneryn7 asked Eric, Dean, and Damon, do you mind dating shorter girls? (I mean you guys are kind of tall.)

Eric: Don't mind.

Dean: Nope.

Damon: Do you have big boobs because that's all I care about.

Dean, Who would you, under no circumstances never allow to drive your car?

Dean: It's between Charity and Edward.

What!

Dean: You drove a golf cart into your garage!

I was 11!

Dean: And Edward drives like a crazy person.

Edward: True.

Sam, Describe your ideal woman? Describe your ideal man?

Sam: I like a strong woman, who can help me in a fight and would let their guard down when she's with me. For the guy, I want to feel that I'm being protected, he has to be strong.

Eric, Who's pants do you want to get into, at the moment? *Whispers to Eric* You could just bring Damon next time…

Damon: *Throws up*

Eric: Louis.

Louis: *Rolls eyes*

*Whispers* Where's LeLe and Broadway?

Dean: *Points to the girls pulling at Edward*

Edward: Save me.

Are they trying to kill him?

Louis: *Shrugs*

Dirtdevil76 asked Damon, Where is my chopped off Justin Bieber head? I'm waiting.

Damon: Why don't you tell that to his bodyguard Big Papi and Jumbo! If Stefan helped me then it would be an easy job.

AG20 asked Damon, you should stay away from the creepy gay vampires. Although after being in a locked room with Eric I think it's useless now…but don't worry you are still my favorite.

Damon: Nothing has ever been up my butt hole or I had sex with a man. I avoided that, thank you very much.

BereniceAndrea asked me, how do you feel about being harassed by your own characters, though you DO get some benefits from Damon?

Damon is always so mean to me. If it was for Stefan and Sam I probably throw him over the cliff. *Folds arms* I have feelings.

Damon: No you don't.

*Twitch* Stefan, can I call you teddy bear with fangs? It's a good nickname. Oh I dare you to hug Damon for 30 seconds and tell him that you love him and miss him and kiss him like a good brother.

Stefan: *Open arms* Brother?

Damon: I'll stab you.

Stefan: *Walks towards Damon* I love you.

Damon: Stay the fuck away from me! *Runs*

Damon, who's scarier Eric or Barney, and who's harder to kill?

Damon: *Running* Eric and Barney is too hard to kill.

Dean, I dare you to make out with Jasper.

Jasper: I finally get to do something.

Kissing Dean.

Jasper: Good bye.

Get back at here! He ran away, get him!

Sam, *Blows you a kiss* do you wanna come to my bday party on Thursday?

Sam: Okay. What kind of cake will it be?

Edward, I'll see you in hell.

Edward: Save me! *Being kidnapped*

TwilightRocks asked Lestat & Eric, did you ever thought about teaming up to make Damon your bitch.

Lestat: Can we team up and make both the brothers our bitches?

Eric: I would.

Damon: Leave me alone!

Eric what happened with your alone time with Damon?

Eric: *Pouts* He played hard to get.

Damon: You tried to rape me.

Eric: *Smirk* You know you want it.

Damon, I dare you to let Eric do whatever he wants to you for an hour (and tell us what he did (Not in detail) and you have to do it other wise *Evil voice* I will stake you and then you will go to heaven and have to help people and be nice to Stefan.

Damon: Pfft. Like that would ever happen.

Jack: I…I wanna…Do *Hiccups* Dis one.

Um…okay?

Jack: How are you doing love? Are you single and if not do you like to cheat with me.

*Slaps forehead* I think I have a mark on my head. Cherise Brooklyn asked Damon, can you come over night and do what you do best?

Damon: Yeah.

Edward, I dare you to sing "One time" by Justin Bieber.

Edward: …I don't know the song.

I don't either.

Edward: I won't let this beat me. *Singing* I know you love me I know you care…

Dean: Wrong song. That's Baby.

And you know this why?

Dean: *Points to Sam*

Sam: I like him.

Edward: Let me tell you one time, let me tell you one time, I'll be your one heart you'll be my number one girl…Is she gay?

Sam: It's a boy.

Edward: That's a pretty boy then.

Sam and Dean, do you ever wish you slept with Gabriel?

Sam & Dean: Yes!

Lestat, Could you make Tom Cruise you bitch?

Lestat: Yes.

Can you bring Captain Jack Sparrow on? He's on the floor right now.

Jack: I want my jar of dirt.

The show is over and I'm tired. This was long but it was worth it for you us. I love you guys and happy that most of you weren't mad at me…*Looks at Heart-Broken-In-Love who's still glaring* *Gulps* I want to thank kiwi-luv, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Breakfastclub85, SouthernHemmy, Rogue Assasin, dbz rox, BroadwayAngelLyric, LeLelurvsGlee, Vampire 900, anneryn7, dirtdevil76, AG20, BereniceAndrea, pawprint25, TwilightRocks, and Cherise Brooklyn for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Jack: I want booze.

Can I trade him for Emmett?

Jack: I like you love. Once I get up from here, I'll give you a kiss. Why is the room spinning?

Damon & Stefan: *Being dragged off*

I learned today a very importance lesson. Fan girls are crazy.

Sam: Nods

Dean: Agree.

Bye guys! So you tomorrow! AHH! *Gets picked up and thrown over Jack's shoulder*

Jack: Let's make music my dear. *Runs away with me*

DEAN! SAM!

Sam: Bye! *Chases after Jack*

Dean: Put her down! *Chases after Jack*


	40. Poor Camera Guy

Shows They Can't Do Together!

True Life!

Jack: *Mumbles* Hello my names Jack and I'm here to make this crust little pathic show a little bit funnel.

Camera man: Can you get up from the floor and say that clearly?

Jack: Yea…no.

* * *

Damon: My name is Damon Salvatore and I want to know why the hell you're on my lawn?

Camera man: You signed up for the show.

Damon: …I don't remember.

Camera man: Can we just get this shoot?

Damon: No.

* * *

Zero: *Points guns at him*

Camera man: *Backs away* I got it. Just put the gun down. *Runs away*

* * *

Camera man: O.O?

Sam: *Blushes* I didn't think you guys would come early…this early.

Dean: Um…You want to join in?

Camera man: *Walks away*

* * *

Camera man: Please give me a good shoot.

Um…okay. *Holding ice cream*

Stefan: I guess.

Camera man: *Cries* Finally!

So what you want us to do?

Camera man: Just continue your date.

…This isn't a date. I got called out and Stefan wanted to help me.

Stefan: The person has us waiting for two hours after the time that they wanted to meet up.

Talk about stupid.

Bob: THE GREAT BOB IS NOT STUPID!

When will you GO AWAY!

Bob: Until I get your show! *Spits white stuff* Come here and fall bitch.

Stefan: You want me to get rid of him?

*Nod* Make sure your can't recognize him.

Stefan: Alright. *cracks knuckles*

Bob: *Screams* I'LL BE BACK!

Um…good enough for you shot?

Camera guy: *Nods*

That's good.

* * *

Jack: I want to…*Falls*

Camera guy: Jack?

Jack: …

Camera guy: Jack?

Jack: *Screams*

Camera guy: *Screams*

Jack: I had the scariest dream in the history of mankind.

Camera guy: What?

Jack: No booze.

Camera guy: *Slaps forehead and narrows eyes* I quit.

* * *

I should do a day with Jack fic. I think that would be funny. So I'm looking around for stories and I found on TwilightRocks page that she was doing a contest. My first thought was that I wanted to enter it and the next one was that I wanted to have a contest also. It would be fun. So should I do one and if I did, what kind of prize should I give?

Damon: Shut up you stupid brat.

Leave me alone! Stupid!

Damon: You think you forgot about last night.

Crap.

Damon: Yep and what were you suppose to say at the end of every sentence.

Damon is my master. *Rolls eyes*

Damon: *Smirk*

…..

Stefan: I think that was kinda cruel.

*Twitch*

Sam: Let's get the question thing going.

Okay….

Damon: *Clears throat*

Damon is my master.

LeLelurvsGlee asked Stefan, will you sing to me, my birthday is Friday!...Damon is my master.*Hits head on the wall*

Stefan: Okay. *Sings* Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy birthday LeLe! Happy birthday to you!

*Claps hands*

Sam: Charity I want to inform you that you shall get Edward back tomorrow. I don't want him on my birthday.

It's alright. *Sighs* Damon is my master.

Dean: What game did you two play?

Sorry…Damon is my master.

Eric: She looks as if she is going to stab herself in the neck.

Pam: Do you care?

Eric: No, but it would be a waste of good blood.

Dean: anneryn7 asked Jack, what would you do if all the alcohol in the world disappeared?

Jack: *Cries* The booze is gone?

Dean: she said what if?

Jack: Blastfamey! Blastfamey against the booze. What did the precious bottles do to you?

Dean: Huh? *Shakes head* Out of all of the guys there, who would you hook up with?

Jack: Sam…she's cute.

Sam: I'm a guy.

Jack: *Looks at the bottle in his hand* Whoa. I think I need another drink. *Throws the bottle over his shoulder*

Dean: Will you come to my house and visit me?

Jack: I don't like you like that my good sir.

Dean: *Sighs* She wrote this for you.

Jack: Okay. Good.

Sam: Eric why haven't you taken over the world yet?

Eric: Because my Queen wouldn't allow me.

Sam: Captain Jack or Dean?

Eric: Dean.

Jacob: Hi guys, sorry I'm late. *Smiles*

Jacob!

Damon: *Holds up a uniform*

Damon is my master.

Jacob: Um…okay.

Sam: Damon if you had to spend the rest of your life with either Barney or Eric, and you wouldn't be able to kill them, who would it be? And "I hate you" Isn't an acceptable answer.

Damon: Barney because he wouldn't try to rape me! *Glares at Eric*

Eric: I haven't done anything yet. I like the chase.

Damon: ….Stay away from me.

Stefan: Sam, who is the person you loathe the most?

Sam: If Lilith was still alive I would say her but it would be Ruby.

Stefan: If you could change one thing about Dean, what would it be?

Sam: To be a little less rough. Yeah I like it but not all the time.

Breakfastclub85 said to Edward, I dare you to go to a Gay Pride Parade. You would fit right in….Damon is my master.

Edward: Ha-Ha. You suck.

I don't want to keep saying that Damon.

Damon: Well wear the uniform and serve me.

*Twitch* Fine. *Snatches the uniform* I'll be back guys.

Jack: I love you.

Sam: Still drunk.

Jack: And I still see that you are a man. After a few more bottles maybe I wouldn't care.

Sam: O.O

Dean: Stefan & Damon, Did you enjoy our time together?

Damon: Yeah. *whisper to Stefan* What did we do.

Stefan: *narrows his eyes* You forgot last night?

Damon: I think I was drinking. *Laughs*

Stefan: *Slaps forehead*

Sam: Jasper let's forget about Alice and make out.

Jasper: Pfft. You go against her and maybe that will happen.

Sam: Captain Jack, do you know how frickin awesome you are?

Jack: *Coughs* Yes.

Sam: Damon, it's your turn to get a super long hug.

Damon: Huh?

Hannah: *Hugs Damon*

Damon: Let me go!

Hannah: Nope.

Damon: *Twitch*

I'm back. *Pulls on end of dress* I Hate this.

Stefan: Really Damon.

Damon: I didn't expected it to be that short.

Okay. Dbz rox asked Damon, is the reason why you are gay is because your dad never paid any attention as a child and favored Stefan?

Damon: You get off me. *Glares at Hannah*

Hannah: Nope.

Damon: And you where are you getting all this stuff from. I don't like you. Go jump off somewhere!

Jacob I dare you to kiss Edward!

Jacob: Okay. But He might end up with lips missing.

Edward: Stay away from me.

Edward I dare you to tell Jacob that he' like a brother to you. Just like you did in Breaking Dawn.

Edward: Fuck that. What if I don't do it and say I did. Pfft.

Rogue Assasin asked Stefan, if Damon has amnesia would you use it to your advantage to make him the brother he was before Katherine came along or would you do the right thing and help him get his current memories and personality back?

Rogue: *Hands Stefan a black box covered in red hearts* It's a gift for Lestat from me.

Stefan: *Takes the boxes* Why?

Eddie how did you like you 'extra crispy balls'? Did they grow back as of yet?

Edward: Yes you evil demon!

Sam, did you enjoy having Lucifer in you in a perverted kind way?

Sam: Somewhat.

Dean, did you do Sam while he was under Possession?

Dean: I tried to save him, no one enters my brother's body without permission.

Everyone, this including the Readers! Who else here thinks Dean would have made an IDEAL couple with Jo? I do.

Damon: Who?

Dean: You don't know her…thank God.

Damon: *Flicks him off*

Rogue: *Flashes Pam and Damon* Call me tonight. *Hugs me* Peace out peeps.

AG20 asked Everyone, who scares you most on the show and why? Jack because sometimes he clocks out and I think he's dead.

Eric: Agree.

Jack: Hello there.

*Screams* STOP LOOKING UP MY DRESS!

Damon: *Twitch*

Jack: Pink suits you purple suits you great.

*Kicks Jack in the head*

Jack: I love your abuse love.

*Walks away*

Jack: Drunken kisses are here for you!

Stefan who would you rather be stuck on an Island with, Edward or Lestat?

Stefan: Edward because Lestat would try to rape me.

Lestat: *Blows kisses*

Stefan: *Shivers*

Damon, why won't you admit that you like Charity? And telling me off is not an acceptable answer.

Damon: For the last time! I don't like her!

Jack: Let me have one kiss, I promise you'll beg for more.

Damon: ….

Jack: *Grabs me and kisses me*

Everyone: O.O!

Jack: *Pulls back* You taste like peaches love.

You taste like booze.

Damon: *Snatches me from his grip* Do…it…again…and die a firry death.

Jack: I'm more of a water man. *Smiles*

You can let me go now Damon.

Damon: You're not safe from him.

Jack: He's right love.

*Twitch* I can see that. Let's keep going on…Sam, can I hug you?

Sam: Um…okay.

AG: *Hug Sam*

Sam: Okay.

AG: *Sighs*

Sam: It's just like yesterday!

Edward, just go shave your sparkles off.

Edward: I tried.

TwilightRocks: *Places a stake on Damon's chest* You want to go to heaven and be nice to Stefan for not following my dare? It can be only one minute you should be lucky.

Damon: Fine. Brat.

Eric: *Gets up from his seat* After you catcher.

Damon: *Twitch*

Eric & Damon: *Go to the back room*

Everyone who's your fav person where ever u all are? Jacob!

Jacob: What happened to Shouta?

*Blushes* I just wanted to say your name.

Jacob: Bella.

Why?

Jacob: I like dumb girls.

Ouch.

Jasper: Alice.

Barney: Everyone.

Lestat: Stefan.

Louis: Chi.

Stefan: Sam.

Sam: Chi.

Dean: Sam.

Pam: Alice.

Jasper: …

Edward: Bella.

Zero: Yuki.

A minute is up.

The door slams open and Damon's clothes are ripped up.

Damon: NEVER!

Eric: Why are you so scared of me?

Damon: I'm not scared of you. I FUCKING HATE YOU!

Vampire 900 asked Dean, can I hug you?

Dean: Okay.

Vampire: *Hugs Dean*

To tell you the truth I'm surprise they choose hugging them. BereniceAndrea asked me if she could have the Salvatore brothers tonight? It's my birthday, I want them, ask them if they want to come over to my house?

Damon: …Sure as long as Eric's not there.

Eric: *chuckles*

Stefan: I'll come.

Sam, blonde or brunette?

Sam: Both.

Dean, favorite sex place?

Dean: My car.

Damon you love your brother too, I dare you to make him a song telling him how much you love him. I'll reward you if you win your dare correctly.

Damon: *sigh and sings* I like you somewhat. I would pee on you if you where on fire and kick any ass that doesn't like you…there hope your happy.

Stefan, can I go steal you a kiss! It my birthday today! So yes I can! I wanna kiss you.

Stefan: Okay.

Berenice: *Squeal and Tackles Stefan*

Wow she looks happy. Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Damon, Has Stefan ever tired to rape you?

Damon: Like that bastard would.

Stefan, when are you going to die?

Stefan: Never *Still getting kissed on*

*Reads* YOUR SO MEAN MINAFTW! *Cries in the corner* I just don't want to die!

Jack: That's the girl who wanted to marry you two.

So Mean. You happy now! I'm crying in the corner. MATSUDA!

Damon: *Twitch* What is wrong with marrying me?

Dean: SouthernHemmy asked Eric, What is your best move in bed, or at least what you think is your best move? And biting don't count

Eric: Eating out.

Pam: He can make a girl hit a high note.

Pam, do you agree with Eric and if not what do you think is he's best move? And why?

Pam: I agree. *Fans self*

Lestat, Did you do your own singing in the Queen of the Damned?

Lestat: Yes.

Louis: Which time era do you like best, the one you were born in or the current era?

Louis: This one because it's a little more laid back.

Sam, Did you enjoy beating up your brother, even just a little bit when you were possessed?

Sam: A teeny part of me did.

Dean, Would you seduce Damon if it meant saving Dean's life?

Dean: There's another Dean?

Sam?

Dean: For Sam yeah.

Damon: *Twitch* Stay away from me.

Jacob and Jasper, just looking at you two shirtless…MMmmm nice. Stefan, I brought you a present, *Whispers to me* It's a big bunny.

Stefan: Thanks.

Damon, Your present was quite bigger…it's in the back room…Don't worry no one is suppose to go with you…just you….Its kind of a I'm sorry present. (I put Barney in the back room, do what you do best with the rest of that one.)

Damon: I'm not going because I swore I saw something purple.

Just see what it is. Please.

Damon: *Twitch* Fine. *Walks to the back room* …I don't like you.

*Laughs* Is he tied up?

Damon: You know got damn well Chi.

Eddi, If you could swap bodies with any one in the room who would it be and why?

Eddi: Sam, because he's good looking.

Zero: *Shoots Edward in the knee*

She said if he didn't answer the question!

Zero: Don't care.

Dirtdevil76 asked Damon, Will you run away with me to Vegas and get married?

Damon: Can't we get gamble.

Pawprint25, Damon stop being a pussy and hug Stefan already!

Damon: Pfft no.

*Laughs* Okay. The show is over…Jack stop looking under my dress.

Jack: I like the view love.

Dean: We want to thank LeLelurvsGlee, anneryn7, Breakfastclub85, dbz rox, Rogue Assasin, AG20, TwilightRocks, pawprint25, Vampire Princess 900, BereniceAndrea, Heart-Broken-In-Love, MinaFTW, SouthernHemmy, and dirtdevil76 for questions and reviews. And a Question for you! If you could have one of these guys or Pam for a day what would you do to them? Peace!

Sam: Love.

Dean: And chocolate!

Jack: I like purple love.

*Twitch*

Sam: Bye.

Damon: I'm going to punch you bastard!


	41. The real world with a drunken pirate

Shows They Can't Do Together!

The Real World!

Confessional

Zero: I want to kill everyone. *Looks around* Edward's first. You wanna watch me do it?

Confessional end.

Jack: I want booze.

Damon: We all know you do. It's everything you talk about.

Jack: Where's Chi.

Stefan: Why?

Jack: Do I have to give you the bees and the birds chat?

Stefan: *narrows eyes* No.

Jack: Good because I forgot it.

Louis: Just watching you gives me a headache.

Jack: *Falls*

Louis: *Sighs*

Jacob: So Zero…

Zero: You a vamp?

Jacob: No, I'm a werewolf.

Zero: I'm watchin you.

Jacob: O.o

Confessional

Jacob: He's really watching me.

Zero: *Stares at Jacob*

Confessional End

Damon: Do I want to know? *Points at Jack*

Stefan: *shakes head*

Confessional

Jack: They think I am a drunken pirate…I am but I will get my revenge. That Damon bugger is a dick.

Damon: *Twitch* You're not in the confessional.

Stefan: You didn't even get up from the floor.

Jack: Oh…okay then. Where's puppet.

The real Confessional

Damon: He's going to die. Die dead.

Confessional End

Hi guys….where's Jack?

Damon: I think he fell into a dumpster.

Closet door

Jack: *Banging on the door* At least bring booze in here.

Why…never mind. I don't want to know.

Damon: Good cause I wasn't telling you.

….I'm leaving

Damon: We tried to drain him but he was bleeding booze.

Jack: *cries* I don't like being sober!

Stefan: Wow.

What about Zero and Jacob?

Damon: …

Stefan: I don't know

*Creaking*

O.O…I want to go check it out.

Damon: *Grabs me* Stefan should check it out.

Stefan: Why?

Because Zero and Jacob might me doing it. Video tape it!

Zero: Me and Jacob?

…Who else is here?

Zero: So dude named Louis.

LET ME GO! I WANT TO SEE JACOB NAKED!

Damon: Let's go. I don't want hear him moaning.

* * *

Hello I'm here to say…

Damon: We don't care.

Pfft. Damon I wanted to tell them about my contest!

Damon: Ohh! Sell yourself out…bitch.

*Rolls eyes* I wanted to do a contest on here. Well you guys know that so I was thinking about a prize and here it is*Thank TwilightRocks for the idea*. A fanfic with you and your favorite characters in it. How about that?

Damon: It sucks.

Stefan: I think it's pretty good.

Thanks Stefan. So my contest is a simple 'What next' fic. Say that you lost a bet to one of the guys or Pam and you had to be there bitch for the day. What happens next? Will you two fall in love? Or you make them your bitch? Only rule is that you can not kill them. Other than that go wild. One-shots, chappies anything in between. So let's start this show!

Sam: Alright! Oh and xXspoliledheartXx hope you had a great birthday!

Dean: NykkiLeighVampireHeart asked Jack, Would you have an orgy with Damon, Jacob, Lestat, and Eric?

Jack: Is on of them a girl?

Dean: No.

Jack: Just like me drink some more but I wouldn't do Damon, I think he's what you call 'a lollipop biter'. *Drinks from bottle*

Damon: …Ew.

Dean: …Would you….

Damon: No.

Dean: I didn't even asked the…

Damon: I already know. It's something to do with a orgy with jack and the guys that were first mention. And I say no. Anything with Eric is really bad.

Eric: You know you want me.

Damon: Just sit your overly pale away from me.

Jacob, what about you?

Jacob: Yeah. I think trying new things.

I thought you were a vampire hater?

Jacob: Louis kinda showed me the way. Now my hate is focused on Edward and his family.

Edward: *Twitch* I don't like you either.

Lestat, Same?

Lestat: Sure why not.

Eric?

Eric: *Licks lips* Fine.

Damon, can I rape you? What about you Jack?

Damon: You can rape me.

Jack: You can rape and or abuse me anytime you want love.

LeLelurvsGlee asked Damon, I heard hell is enrolling why don't you go?

Damon: You go first and I promise to piss on your grave.

Stefan, why do you have to tell Damon to become a vampire? Now we have to put up with his shit?

Stefan: I was young and foolish…very foolish.

Damon: *Twitch* Burn Stefie.

Sam: Chi, can I come in the story again since it's my b-day?

Go nuts.

LeLe: Hey Zero can I see your gun?

Zero: Okay. *Hands her the gun*

LeLe: Hey Edward do you know what I want for my birthday?

Edward: What.

LeLe: You dead. *Aims gun and Edward* Bye twinkle pants!

Edward: O.O. *Runs away*

LeLe: Don't run now! *Chases after Edward*

….Oh Kay MinaFTW said to Damon, You know you like chi, we know you like chi, so why not admit? P.S. at least chi wont two time you like Elena/Katherine. P.S.S don't come up with a stupid comeback or it's you and Eric in the back room, P.S.S.S. you're a sexy bitch, but you know that already.

Damon: Alright. I admit it. I like Chi…she's bearable unlike Stefan or Jack.

Really you mean it.

Jack: What kind of panties are you wearing today love?

*Twitch* Not know.

Damon: Yeah. *Slaps me on the back of my head*

*Holds head* OW!

Damon: That's for being a bitch.

*Growls* You jerk!

Damon: *Sticks tongue out*

*Twitch* Zero, *Shoots Edward with a stake* Happy babe? Zero how many guns do you have?

Zero: Three hundred and ninety-two. And yes I'm very happy.

She wants you to go in the back room for special hugging.

Zero: Okay? *Walked to the back room*

Jacob, I only watched the awful Twilight movies just to stare at your abs.

Jacob: Thanks.

*Whispers to Dean* Where's Jasper?

Dean: He said that he would be late.

Okay. Breakfastclub85 said to Jasper, I don't want to face Alice, so I DARE you to make out with me.

Jasper: No. Hi guys.

I thought you were good with Dares?

Jasper: …Fine.

Hannah: *Jumps on Jasper and kisses him*

See is that so hard? Sam and Dean, favorite high school musical song?

Dean: Bop to the top.

Sam: Breaking free.

Jacob, You. Me. Backroom for thirty minutes. Now.

Jacob: Wait I…*Hannah snatches his arm and drags him to the backroom*

Jack, Favorite alcoholic drink?

Jack: Rum!

Sam, If you could get with anyone who comments on here, who would it be?

Sam: *Blushes* I don't know. There's so many to choose from so I can't say.

Jasper, your turn for the super long hug.

Jasper: huh? *Gets tackled by Hannah*

Damon: Fast worker.

*Nods* Where's LeLe?

LeLe: *Giving Stefan a bunny*Here!

Stefan: All right.

BroadwayAngelLyric says Damon you're awesome and Stefan's a whiney little bitch so can you hold him down while I beat the living shit out of him?

Damon: *Grabs Stefan* Here you go.

Broadway: Thanks! *Punches Stefan*

Stefan: *Twitch* Can you please stop that annoying.

LeLe: You want to fight Broadway?

Broadway: Your not going to do anything!

LeLe & Broadway: *Fight*

Damon & Stefan: What just happened?

Who knows. AG20 asked Sam, next time can you and Damon come visit me? *blushes and hands Sam a paper with an address on it*

Sam: I can come, not sure about Damon.

Damon: I'll come but not with him.

Come on you know you want him.

Damon: Listen to yourself you nasty girl.

Damon, whether you admit you like her or she goes in the backroom with Jacob for either one or ten, she can choose.

I choose Ten!

Damon: Do you want to die?

No.

Damon: Then get that thought out of your head.

What are you my dad?

Damon: I don't have to be you dad to spank you.

…okay!

Damon: Pervert.

Hey you said it! Zero if you shoot Edward again I'll get you a bazooka with your name on it!

Zero: *Shots Edward in the leg*

Edward: OW!

Zero: Where's the bazooka?

Everyone, Stefan or Damon? Sam or Dean? Why? Stefan because he's nicer to me and Sam is like a cute little and you want to hug him…until he drinks demon blood and you want to run away.

Pam: Damon, he knows who to play hardball and Sam because he's cute.

Eric: Damon, nuff said.

Lestat: Stefan. That's all I want.

Zero: Let can all burn.

Louis: I would turn my head if you did.

Edward: OW MY LEG!

Jack: I think Chi, is a great girl. She's my…*Counts on fingers* Ninety-fourth love.

Sam: Wrong question.

Jack: Oh. Well then, carry on.

Rogue Assasin asked Damon, Marry me and let's make vampire babies! *Squeals*

Damon: I don't like marriage or the word marry.

You wanted to marry me!

Damon: Because you were going to die after that. Duh. Fan girls are crazy and would rip you apart.

Evil, heartless, whore!

Damon: Oh you got me to a T.

Hey Stefan you didn't do you dare!

Stefan: Well I…*Runs off*

Lestat: *chases after Stefan* Stop playing hard to get.

Pam have you screwed Stefan too? If so who's the better brother in bed?

Pam: I haven't had sex with Stefan…yet.

Damon, do you like doing the whipping or being whipped?

Damon: Both.

And yes I'll do the Captain Planet show for you with the vamps expect Edward and Louis. *Smiles*

Damon: Where's Stefan?

Long and gone. Anneryn7 said to me. I think you should have superpowers *Not a question, but you're awesome enough* Thank you! You are so cool and….

Damon: Go to the next question cause we don't care…AT ALL!

*Twitch* Dean, Can we have some fun in the backseat of the Impala together?

Dean: Sure.

What's your guilty pleasure?

Dean: Watching the Lion King every night.

Who scares you?

Dean: I think that Selena chick is a demon…Just putting that out there.

Damon, can you dress up like Lady Gaga impersonator? Pretty please? You'd look so much hotter than her…

Damon:… No.

It's not like you have to sing.

Damon: Fine…I'll be back.

Five minutes later.

Dean & Sam & me: *Laugh*

Damon: What the fuck do you think is funny?

Your wearing the red outfit from Bad Romance. You fit it so well.

Damon: Don't go to sleep to night!

Eric, what's one thing you would never do?

Eric: Dress up like Lady Gaga for one.

Damon: Up yours.

How good are you with your, um, hands?

Eric: You want me to show you?

Pam, if you had to choose a sidekick, who would it be?

Pam: Sam, because he would look cute in those ting shorts sidekicks wear.

Sam: *Sigh*

Jack, *Hands you a box full of beautifully wrapped booze*

Jack: I love you love. You are number Ninety-three on my list of loves.

How much did you hate being in movies with Kiera Knightly?

Jack: I was in a movie? What was it about?

Are you…do you hate being near Kiera Knightly?

Jack: Do I know her? Maybe I was too crunk.

Drunk?

Jack: You moved up my list love!

Would you describe yourself as the sexiest pirate to ever exist?

Jack: She's beating you love.

Okay. TwilightRocks says to Damon, to say sorry for making you be in the backroom with Eric I will give you this. *Hands gift* It's a plan to kill Barney. Step 1. Get kids to watch teletubbies, step 2. Take Barney away and compluse him into believe there is no love in the world, step 3. Barney commits suicide and no one cares.

Damon: You're evil…I like that.

Author…Just Call me Chi or Writer, author makes me sound old…The prize for your contest should be writing any fic the winner want that you would know the characters from the category from. Also can you please (Yes I'm asking again) make a Damon and Eric slash there is sever lack of them. I'm already on it! *Smiley face*

Sam: Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Damon, Why are you so protective of Chi?

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

OW!

Damon: How is that protective?

Stefan, how do you like your stakes? In your heart?

Stefan: Medium well.

Damon: Lame.

Stefan: At least I'm not beating up on Chi.

Damon: Don't care.

Zero, will you set Edward on fire?

Zero: *Grabs a lighter* I think I should set his hair on fire first.

Edward: Leave me alone!

Pam, what do you think about Jack?

Pam: I think he is a crazy guy would reeks of booze some much that I think I get drunk.

Dean: *covers nose* So True.

Jack, how much booze do you drink a day?

Jack: Three…hundred.

Wouldn't you get lead poisoning?

Jack: What's that? *Drinks from bottle*

Sam: Charity, I though you said you were goona bring Sookie in?

I will.

Dean: Eric, what did you do to Damon?

Eric: He freaked out when I placed a finger up his butt.

Damon: THE HELL WHEN DID THAT HAPPENED!

Eric: While you were sleeping last night.

Damon: …What?

Eric: I lied…but your face was cute.

Damon: Fuck you Eric.

Eric: I know you want to.

Dbz rox says, Ok I'm admit this…I am a HUGE Damon fan…I just like making fun of him, It's cute when he's all pissed, right Dammy?

Damon: All fun and games until I come to your house and choke you.

Anyways this time I'm going to be nice to you and ask…what's the most embarrassing thing Stefan has ever done?

Damon: He was singing Bleeding Love when he broken up with Elena for the first time.

Stefan: Shut up!

Dirtdevil76 asked Jack, why are you so damn hot?

Jack: Because of the Sun. It makes everything hot.

I don't think that's what she meant.

Jack: My mom.

What?

Jack: *Falls*

Vampirewithasecret says Damon you SOB, you love Charity and know it! I will slap the shit outta you if you don't own up to it!

Damon: You. Don't go to sleep tonight. And I don't love her…I just can

T stand when she's with other people…there's a big difference.

I don't…

Damon: Zip it.

*Sighs*

BereniceAndrea asked me, who would you choose and what you do to him/Pam? I choose Pam because he's so mean to me. Pam does things I never done before so I have a pro at this.

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

Do it again I dare you! *Slaps forehead*

Bob: It is me Bob!

…*Ignoring* Stefan, *Kisses you again* why don't you go back to drinking human blood? Are you afraid that you can't control yourself?

Stefan: Yes. So I'll just stick to bunny blood.

Damon, *Blows a kiss* thanks for last night…can we do it again?

Damon: Okay.

Dean would you let me drive your car?

Dean: Depends.

Sam I wanna hug you too! *Hugs Sam*

Sam: Thanks.

The show is over! I want to thank xXspoliledheartXx, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, LeLelurvsGlee, MinaFTW, Breakfastclub85, BroadwayAngelLyric, AG20, Rogue Assasin, pawprints25, anneryn7, TwilightRocks, Heart-Broken-In-Love, dbz rox, TdiBridgette, dirtdevil76, Vampirewithasecret, and BereniceAndrea. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Jack: I love Rum!

*Rolls eyes* Good nite guys!


	42. Captain Jack?

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Captain Planet!

Stefan: There's an oil spill.

Pam: We have to call Captain Planet!

Eric: …

Damon: What that blue bastard going to do?

Lestat: Do more then you. So put out your rings together and stop this.

Eric: …Whatever.

*Holds up rings*

Stefan: EARTH!

Damon: *Boredly* FIRE.

Eric: Wind.

Pam: Water!

Lestat: Heart!

Everyone: GO PLANET!

Jack: Hello…

Everyone: O.O

Damon: Where's Captain Planet?

Jack: What are you talking about? I'm him.

Stefan: No Jack. You're not blue, you can't save the planet and…

Damon: *Covers Stefan's mouth* Someone spilt booze the ocean.

Jack: *Gasp* I must save it!

Damon: Yes, Jack go save it….away from me.

Jack: I'll go save them! *Runs to the ocean*

Stefan: *Pushes Damon's hand* Why?

Damon: It's not a total lie. Oil has alcohol in it…and hopefully he'll die. A very horrible…

Jack: *Burps* Need more. Where's the rum? *Wipes mouth*

Eric: *slaps forehead*

Stefan: You…*sighs and shakes head*

Pam: I give up. *throws hands up*

Damon: He's like a freakin cockroach!

Jack: Hey…. I have feelings…I think. Yeah, I'm pretty sure I have feelings.

Eric: *narrows eyes* Where's Captain Planet?

Jack: I shot him. He stole my rum! Telling me it was bad for the planet.

* * *

Hello guys, you missed me…why is he here.

Damon: *Shrugs* Something about world conquest and crap.

Bob: I will RULE THE WORLD!

*Narrow eyes* Who let him in here?

Stefan: He stayed the night. When we came in he was in the corner rocking and singing some song.

Do I want to know?

Damon: I kinda doubt that. So where you been last night.

With Sam and Dean. They let me hang out with them for a little while.

Damon: How nice….*Grabs me by the collar*

D-Damon Nothing happened.

Damon: No, you have something on you.

Huh?

Stefan: O.O

Damon: Why's Jacks scent on you? It's more dominate then Sam and Dean's.

I wanted to forget about him. He jumped on the table and started stripping and…

Jack: We made out and I found out that puppet was good with her tongue.

…*Wiggles out my shirt then runs*

Damon: Get back here! *Catches after me*

Stefan: Let's start the show! Oh yeah. Vampirewithasecret wrote a story similar to this one called SuperNatural Vs Vd.

NO MEANS NO!

Damon: I'LL TEACH YOU NOT TO LIE TO ME!

Stefan: *Slaps forehead* Let's just start with the questions.

Sam: Alright. Stefan, now its your turn for a super long hug!

Stefan: …

Hannah: *Hugs Stefan*

Stefan: *Twitch*

Hannah: You know you love it.

Stefan: …

Dean: Jacob, did you have fun during our time in the backroom?

Jacob: Yes. I did.

Sam: Damon, it's your turn to make out with me now.

Damon: Where did that bitch…*Hannah tackles him*

Sam: That's a girl on a mission.

Sookie: Hey! Do you know where Edward is, there a crying girl outside.

Edward: *Pushes himself on the wall*

Sookie: You're a vampire, not a lizard.

Edward: Who are you? You're not my mom.

Sookie: I just came in here to stop a little girl from jumping off a cliff.

Edward: Oh. I'll be back.

Hey Sookie, what took you so long?

Sookie: A Team Salvatore T-shirt?

Damon knows me.

Damon: Everyone knows you.

Jerk. Jasper it wasn't that bad making out with me, now was it?

Jasper: Alice laughed at me, and then slapped me…hard.

Jack: Do you love Elizabeth Swan, and you are jealous of Will Turner for getting her?

Jack. You can't read your own questions unless you're me.

Jack: I felt left out love. I love Elizabeth I did but Will was a better man…until he died and I got her on the rebound.

Huh.

Jack: *Laughs* I'm kidding love, you know I worship the ground you walk on.

Kinda creepy but Sam, did you know that sex is the best way to relieve headaches? Let's relieve my headache.

Sam: What?

Hannah: To the backroom we go. *Grabs Sam's arm and drags him*

Damon: Yoo! Go Sam, show her that you're not a fairy!

Sookie: Lively here huh?

Eric: Hi Sookie.

Sookie: Oh, Eric. Didn't know you were here.

Eric: You're a bad liar.

TwilightRocks says to Damon, This is for the evil comment.

Twilight: *Grabs Damon and starts making out with him while making their way to the backroom*

Sookie: How can you stand that?

Stand what?

Sookie: Girls making out with Damon.

I'm in my happy place.

Sookie: Happy place?

Alice is naked.

Sookie: You must really love Alice.

Yes. Yes I do.

Dean: Jack, dirtdevil76 asked, Will you come over to my house and play strip poker with me? Please? I love you!

Jack: I will only come if there is booze…and more booze.

You'll do anything for it.

Jack: *Laughs* Yeah.

Sam: anneryn7 asked Chi, what kind of superpowers do you have now? *And Damon should acknowledge your awesomeness*

Um…I would have mind reading but now I think about it I want Laser vision so when Damon messes with me I can fight back!

Damon: Doubt that, bitch.

*Twitch* Eric, I would love for you show me how good you are with your hands?

Eric: *Smirk* Anytime.

If you won't dress up like Gaga, then who will you dress up as?

Eric: I would dress up as Barney only to piss him of.

Damon: *Twitch*

Sookie: So he's you're new toy.

Eric: Don't think you are the only one.

You are a beautiful man.

Eric: Thank you.

Damon, thank you for dressing up as Lady Gaga *smitten look on my face* I think you pulled it off well. *Hands you warm packets of blood* Of course, you could just have some of mine…

Damon: Thanks.

Dean, *Slips him my address* So we can have fun in the Impala.

Dean: Alright.

MinaFTW: *Drags Damon to the backroom*

Sam: Someone's in here.

Mina: Don't care!

And yes I had a good time with Alice and Shota last night. *Perverted look*

Dean: xXspoiiledheartXx said to Edward, Why don't you just go die in a corner somewhere, I am sick and tired of your sparkly ass.

Edward: Once I really care about what you say, I'll tell you.

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked me, The Happy Tater Tot, Can I come into the story and some of Edward's body parts off? Also can you bring Seth in? He's like the most bestest character out there. Okay, go nuts. And I can bring him in.

Edward: *Screams*

Sookie: O.O Does this always happen?

*Nods* Welcome to this crazy show.

Heart-Broken: *Saws of Edward's arm* Bwahahaha.

Damon: She's my type.

Damon, what would you do if Katherine came in the room this very second?

Damon: *Thinking*

Jack: HE THINKS! IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD!

Damon: SHUT UP! Okay, I would have sex with her then kill her.

Stefan, you know you're on my hit list right? I've already crossed some people off so watch out fag.

Stefan: If you can kill someone off like Paris Hilton, then I will get on my knees praise you then kill my with a stake to the heart…or Miley Cyrus, do the world so good why do you.

Zero, Can I borrow your gun so I can shoot Stefan a couple of times?

Zero: *Hands Heart-Broken a gun* Go wild.

Heart-Broken: *Shots at Stefan*

Stefan: *Runs*

Heart-Broken: Keep running bitch! *Keeps shooting*

Sam and Dean, how are you not uncomfortable being in practically a room full of vampires?

Dean: We dealt with the Devil…nuff said.

Sam: *Nods*

Pam, is that how your hair looks naturally?

Pam: Yes.

Eric, would you rather do Tara or Sookie?

Eric: Sookie.

Sookie: Not surprised.

Jasper, Are you the only one in the room that doesn't want to kill Edward?

Jasper: Pretty much.

Vampirewithasecret said to Damon, As if I am really afraid of you! I can beat you up! And Stefan Luv Ya!

Damon: Bring it kid.

BroadwayAngelLyric asked Eric, Damon, Stefan, Pam does it make you angry to know that Edward McSparkly-Pants is sadly more durable than you and stakes don't affect him even though he doesn't have fangs therefore not considered a real vampire?

Eric: Yes.

Pam: So true.

Damon: Bastard should burn.

Stefan: I'll still stab him with one.

Zero: BURN THE BASTARD!

Zero…this question wasn't for you.

Zero: I can answer any question I want.

Fine. So the show is over! Yay. I want to thank Breakfastclub85, pawprint25, TwilightRocks, dirtdevil76, anneryn7, MinaFTW, xXspoiiledheartXx, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Vampirewithasecret, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, and BroadwayAngelLyric for reviews and questions! Peace!

Sam: Love!

Dean: And Chocolate!

See you guys tomorrow!

Bob: *Sitting in the corner, singing* I'm a little soggy but that's okay. *rocking back and fore*

O.O!


	43. oh my god Batman!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Family Guy!

Damon: Where are we at?

Peter: Oh…My…GAWD.

Lois: What Peter?

Peter: It's Superman! *points at Damon* and there's Robin! *Points at Stefan*

Damon: BWHAHA!

Stefan: *Twitch*

Brian: Robin is Batman's side kick. *Drinks from a margarita*

Peter: *Ignores Brian* Can you fly?

Damon: No but…*Peter jumps on his back*

Peter: UP, Up, and Away!

Damon: *Tries to shake him off* GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF ME!

Stefan: *Looks at Brian's cup* Have anymore?

Brian: Deal with this madness to?

Stefan: *Nods*

Damon: *Shakes off Peter* YOU FAT BASTARD!

Peter: *Lands on his butt and holds his leg* HSSSS…AAAA….SSSSSSS….AAAAA.

Chris: *Walks out of the house* Mom I found Mr. Chewy in the…are you Superman?

Damon: Not this again?

Stewie: …Mommy why are there hot half naked guys on our yard?

Damon & Stefan: No where not.

Stewie: You are now! *Pulls out a gun and shoots*

Damon: *Pats himself* Where's my shirt you little fruit bat!

Stewie: Talk dirtier to me. *Turns around* Now spank me.

Damon: O.O…You know a baby is saying all this.

Brian: They don't try to pay attention. *Sips from his cup* It's pretty much baby talk to them.

Meg: Mom there's…

Lois: Go back in the house Meg…No one cares.

Meg: Ohh!

Damon: She like a version of Chi.

Hey.

Damon: No one cares.

Ohh!

Peter: *Laughs* Useless woman.

Stefan: *Points at Damon* You know…I love you man. No Homo…Way homo. *Falls over*

Damon: What did you drink?

Brian: He can't handle his liquor well can he?

Damon: *looks on the floor* I guess not. Can I leave him here?

Stefan: *Rolls on the ground* I feel it Captain Jack! Nah Nah!

Damon: *Slaps forehead*

* * *

Hello…and welcome to…the Twilight Zone.

O.O Dude it's my show!

Really? Damn wrong show then. *walks away*

Hey guys missed me! Cause I missed you…not really. Jk. Well not Damon.

Damon: Don't care.

Let's just the show started!

Jack: WAIT!

…What?

Jack: …Carry on then.

Huh? Vampirewithasecret asked me, Can I please go on the show and show Damon some manners! Be my guest.

Vampire: *Throws a stake in the air and catches it* You're going down queer bagel!

Lol, queer bagel.

Damon: Come on fan girl!

*Fighting in the Background*

Vampire: Damon, you're on my list you surpassed Barney! *Kicks Damon in the head*

…I thought Brenda was scary when provoked…Moving on Heart-Broken-In-Love, asked Damon if you had to choose for either Edward or Jacob to die, who would you choose?

Damon: They both can die! *Dodges a kick*

LeLelurvsGlee asked Pam, Can you rub some of your awesomeness on me?

Pam: I can do more than that.

Damon, did you know I know how to use a stake.

Damon: Good for you! *Gets hit in the arm*

Vampire: I thought you were a vampire Damon, not a fairy!

Damon: Shut up!

Chi, can I come in and show Damon my stake skills. Sure.

LeLe: *Throws a stake at Damon* Wussy!

Damon: NO MORE EVIL TROLLS!

xXspoiiledheartXx asked Edward, you should care because one day I'm going to find you and watch your sparkly ass burn, and if you haven't noticed no one likes you?

Edward: Your mom loves me!

Dean: Chi, how do you feel about Damon's obssesiveness over you?

It would be a bit nice, if he wasn't an ass. You want to take my place cause I'll run to Shota but I think Damon would track me down and …do …unspeakable things like last…time….I'll shut up now.

VampirePrincess113: Stefan! *Glomp*

Stefan: Huh?

VampirePrincess113: Damon's unavailable right now.

Damon: Why don't you help me!

Breakfastclub85 asked Damon, why are you afraid of marriage? You could always get a divorce if it doesn't work out.

Damon: Why should I have to be tied down. I'm here for all women! Except for those two psychopaths!

Vampire & LeLe: *Smirk*

Damon: These are reason why I don't like you!

*Shakes head* Sam did you have fun with me in the backroom? *sighs dreamily*

Sam: Yeah.

Edward, I would love to see Harry Potter kick your ass.

Edward: And I can't wait for you to leave me alone. I don't care if you like me or not. I make more money then you anyways!

Jack, Super long hug time!

Jack: Ok…ay!

Breakfastclub: *Trys to hug Jack but watches him fall* I'll hug you down there to. *Bents down and hugs Jack*

Jack: I know how to get women. Right love.

*Sighs* I can Damon's glare in the back of my ….

Twilight: Eric your turn *Grabs Eric and makes out with him*

Sookie: *Twitch*

Dean did you or Sam ever do Lucifer or Michel (In or out of vessel bodies cause you both died soo it could have happened) and Dean did you ever tell Sam that you did Anna?

Sam: You what?

Dean: Damn it.

Sam: Anna?

Dean: I didn't do Michel or Lucifer.

Sam: Don't change the question!

Dean: *Sighs*

Sookie: Hi, can I maybe be a permanent character on this show?

No, but you can host it a few times….I kind feel bad now, I really don't like saying no to people. *Frowny face*

Damon: Get over it. I say no to people all the time.

You're an ass about it though.

Damon: They suck.

NykkiLeighVampireHeart asked Sookie, What would you do to get in Damon's pants?

Sookie: *looks at Damon* I deal with enough asshole vampires.

Damon: You know you want me.

Eric: She doesn't.

Damon, would you let her in your pants?

Damon: Yeah.

Jack: Where's the rum?

Nykki: *Grabs Jack by the collar and drags him to the backroom* Let's have some fun Jack.

Jack: If you have rum them I'll gladly come!

Okay, dirtdevil76 asked Stefan, Damon, Eric, Edward, Sam, and Dean, Will you guys kill Jacob Black? I want that dot boy dead, he's sooo annoying? You can't kill Jacob Black I love him!

Damon: Look there's Shota!

*Looks around* Where.

Damon: I'll kill him, stab him, and mail his pelt to you.

Eric: I agree.

Stefan: He's better than Bob. *Points to the corner*

Bob: *Rocking back and forth* When she's sleeping I'm going to stand over her bed and hold up a knife…you wanna watch me do it?

O.O This are reason why I don't take drugs.

Damon: You're naturally high.

No I'm not.

Damon: Says the girl who dreams about gay zombies and a giant cookie.

Sookie: You need help.

No pop for me before going to bed. Pawprints25 asks I really wonder what the backroom looks like. To tell the truth I really don't know…whips and chains hanging off the wall? I know, that's really sad of me. Lol.

Sam: Damon, I know I'm on you list and all, but could you rip Edward's lungs out through his mouth for me.

Damon: Sure….*Twitch*

Zero: Don't touch him. *Points gun at Damon*

Damon: Turned gay now too?

Zero: Wait in line you sorry excuse for a fang wearer!

Damon: You want to fight.

Zero: *Shots Damon in the leg* Yes.

Damon: YOU FUCKING EMO BASTARD! *Hops around on one leg*

Dean, if you couldn't have the Impala, what other car would you want?

Dean: Viper.

Hana.M asked can I come to the show and hug Stefan? And go to the backroom with Damon for 30 min? Alrite.

Hana: *Tackles Stefan* Hi Stefie!

Stefan: You're clingy.

Damon: What is with all the random stuff that happens on here?

*Shrugs* I go with the flow.

Hana: *Grabs Damon and drags him to the backroom* Let's go play!

Damon: Huh?

*Nervous laugh* Let's take a small break.

* * *

Everyone accounted for?

Damon: So Nykki kisses me and let Eric bite her. Captain Jack is drunk and taking to get Bob to dance. Everyone is here!

Stefan, Pam, Sam, Sookie and Dean: What about us?

Damon: You don't matter. Nor do I care about.

Where's Lestat and Louis, Jasper and Jacob too?

Damon: Something about a week off.

There weren't here that long.

Damon: On with the show.

Dbz rox asked Damon, In the season two promo Katherine said that she came back for Stefan and not you, how did that make you feel?

Damon: You mom.

*Twitch*

Damon: A little sad okay. Now go away before I kill you in your sleep.

Rogue Assasin asked Sookie, How do you feel about C. Harris marrying you to Eric in book 9?

Sookie: I'm married to Eric!

This is the reaction from people who haven't read the book.

Sookie: When did this happen?

Book 9.

Eric: Hello wife.

Sookie: …

Eric, if you had to brand me, where would you tattoo your name on me?

Eric: On your neck so the whole world to see.

Stefan I dare you to publish all of Damon's embarrassing baby photo's on Youtube.

Stefan: Already done. *Smirk*

Damon: *Jaw drops* YOU…DIDN'T!

Stefan: I did.

Damon: I'll post your secret album from under the bed on the internet.

Stefan: Have fun.

Damon: I hate you.

Damon I dare you to be a good brother to Stefan for five minutes and tell him how much he means to you.

Damon: I hate you.

Come on it's a dare.

Damon: …Fine. Stefan….

Stefan: Huh?

I think he's just going to stand there quietly for five minutes.

Stefan: He's the best brother I have right now.

Sam: Charity, I have this nagging feeling that you're a Wiccan, are you?

No. But my friend Brenda is. Hi Brenda I miss you and your abuse. *Waves* She is soo going to kick my ass after reading this. Lol.

Rogue: *Whistle at Edward while waving a flame thrower at him* Get ready for round two bitch.

Edward: *Runs*

Rogue: *Chases Edward and making him scream like a little bitch*

Poor Edward. Cherise Brooklyn, Jack I dare you to go an entire chapter without drinking booze.

Jack: *Drinks* …YOUR EVIL! EBIL WITCH!

Sam: Charity, can you bring Ian Somerhalder in?

Damon: For what. That bastard looks like me…I bet he's the gay version of me. That fucking sucks.

I kinda doubt it.

TdiBridgette asked Damon, Damon why are you so freakin awesome? Can you rip off Stefan's left arm and …left leg?...O.O

Damon: You have to die Stefan.

Stefan: If I die so many pictures of you will pop up on the internet…

Damon: …What kind of pictures?

Stefan: *Smirk*

Damon: *Tackles Stefan* I'm going to kill you!

Rip apart Edward and throw him into fire, then he'll die like most of you want. Zero can you shoot Stefan in the right arm and leg?

Zero: *Shoots at Stefan arm, leg and shot Damon too*

Damon: SHE SAID STEFAN!

Zero: She didn't say not you too.

Damon: I'm going to kill this kid.

Damon, I dare you to kill Miley Cyrus and Rihanna. But I like Rihanna…

Damon: All the more reason to kill the bitch.

Vampire Princess 900 asked why are there a lot of Stefan hate in this story? I personally like Stefan it just…fan girls are crazy scary. Half the things on here can be apart of the Saw movie. *Cries* I'M SCARIED!

Damon: Give it a break. Your sicker then half these people here.

I kind doubt that but okay!

MinaFTW asked Eric, Do you get insulted when people here about your Viking heritage and confuse it with fat opera singing ladies?

Eric: Why should I get insult when I can just kill them.

Dean, You're my favorite southern gentleman.

Dean: Thank you.

Damon, coconut cream pie or blueberry muffins.

Damon: Blood.

…Out of the two up there.

Damon: Blood…nuff said.

Stefan, Jessica Alba or Alyson Michalka?

Stefan: Jessica.

Bob, Your creepier than Edward.

Bob: I'm hiding under your bed at night.

O.O…what?

Bob: I watch you while your drooling on you pillow.

*Shivers* Edward, in your movie did you use mabelline lipstick? Because I really like the color, so if you could just tell me the name of it, I would like to go out and bye it.

Edward: Bite me.

Chi I will be writing a story about Jacob, *sorry Zero, you can get a bit vamp-killer crazy sometimes* and Dean.

Zero: *Shrugs* Don't mind at all.

Anneryn7 asked me, If you had to pick one person to "Get rid of" Out of everyone currently there, who would it be? Easy, it would be mister stalker pants over in the corner looking all creepy.

Bob: You will die!

NO ONE LIKES YOU!

Bob: Your mom does.

Leave my mom out of this!

Sam: You'd be a bad ass superhero.

*Smiles* Thank you. *Blushes*

Dean: Eric, You should show me how good you are with your hands tonight.

Eric: Where you live.

You dressing up as Barney would be hilarious. (Damon's face would be priceless*

Eric: *smirk*

Sookie, Who's your favorite Salvatore?

Sookie: Stefan because he's quite and not loud like his brother.

Damon: I'm not loud!

Eric or Bill?

Sookie: Eric. *Rolls eyes and smiles*

Eric: You could never stay mad at me.

AG20 said to Sam and Dean, Thanks for the visit, can't wait for next time! *Blushes*

Dean: It was fun.

Sam: Alright see you soon!

Zero, Here's what I promised you, thanks for shooting Edweirdo for me!

AG:*Hands Zero a bazooka with his name on it and walks over to Edward and punches him in the face*

Stefan, you're way better than sparkly chick over there. *Points to Edward and hands Stefan a bunny*

Edward: I'M GOING TO PISS IN YOUR BED!

O.O!

BereniceAndrea asked me, would you bring a volturi, lets say Jane, to really kick Edweirdo's ass? Sure I'll bring her in later.

Edward: You wuss.

Damon, I'll meet you in the backroom in 30 seconds…go!

Damon: …huh? *Runs to the back room*

Stefan, *Hands you a bunny* Why would you date Elena when you can have me?

Stefan: She…was…the closes? *Shrugs*

Dean, I dare you to sing a gaga song all dressed up and uploaded to youtube.

Dean: Already did. Poker face!

Sam, would you give Zero the colt? He'd love it.

Sam: I don't know. He likes to shoot people out of the blue. Maybe.

Zero, I promised you a new gun, and you'll even get to pick it! Just shoot Edward Ok?...

Edward: *Runs*

Make it painful. Oh, and can I go into the story and shoot him too?

Berenice: Bye Edward. *Shoots Edward in the knee*

Edward: *screams*

Berenice: MUHAHAHAHA!

*Shivers* Alright the show is over! Yay! I want to thank Vampirewithasecret, Heart-Broken-In-Love, LeLelurvsGlee, xXspoiiledheartXx, VampirePrincess113, Breakfastclub85, TwilightRocks, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, dirtdevil76, pawprints25, Hana.M, dbz rox, Rogue Assasin, WishfulThinkin21, Cherise Brooklyn, TdiBridgette, Vampire Princess 900, MinaFTW, anneryn7, AG20, lili1234, and BereniceAndrea for questions and reviews! Peace!

Sam: Love!

Dean: And Chocolate!

For the contest I want you to PMs for me and the contest ends on August 20th. I really hope you guys have fun doing this. Sorry I didn't do one yesterday. I got really sick but I'm better now! Thanks for entering the crazy little tater tots contest! Bye!

Bob: I watch you in the bathroom.

…..


	44. Damon and Stefan with a chance

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Sonny with a Chance!

Chad: Do I even know you?

Damon: Go away you little blond midget.

Sonny: Please forgive Chad, he has a big ego.

Chad: Why do…*Gets elbowed in the side by Sonny*

Sonny: *Smiles*

Damon: *narrows eyes* Whatever.

Stefan: Damon be nice.

Damon: Pfft.

Sonny: What are you doing here?

Chad: No I one better, why don't you leave?

Damon: I'm going to… *Get's grabbed by Stefan*

Stefan: Kid.

Damon: *Twitch* Annoying Bastard.

Sonny: *Gasp*

Damon: What?

Sonny: You're a naughty boy.

Damon: What is this? I mean really Naughty boy.

Zora: *Pops out of nowhere wearing a doctor suit* Someone needs to check there attitude at the door. *Kicks Damon in the knee*

Damon: I'm going to kill you!

Tawni: Oh, who the cuties?

Stefan & Damon: They freakin pop up like daisy!

Nico & Grady: Let's play hot dog toss!

Damon: …This is the most random shit….

Chad: Ignore them, those twilight rejects. I bet they couldn't even get the part. How does it feel for someone to take your role fussy brow?

Stefan: *Twitch and growls*

Sonny: Please stop doing that!

Tawni: What's going on here? Is there a new movie? *Grabs Damon's arm and cuddle it* I chose him to go to Tawni's spot!

Sonny: Tawni's spot?

Tawni: The one between my legs.

Sonny: …

Zora: …Okay. Let's get this skit over with and hopefully Tawni would end up pregnant or with in STD.

Tawni: *Rubs a finger in a circle and making kissy noise*

Damon: I finally think I turn gay.

Tawni: *Let go of Damon* How rude!

Stefan: ….What?

Damon: *Looks over at Sonny* Nope…that was a fluke.

Sonny: *Blushes*

Chad: *Grabs Sonny and drags her out the room*

Nico: Any takers on the hot dog toss?

Stefan: I'm leaving.

Damon: I'll be a minute.

Stefan: Why?

Damon: *Smirk* I wonder if Sonny is a cowgirl.

Stefan: *Slaps forehead* Sex…really?

Damon: I thought you knew me better.

Stefan: *Walks off*

Grady: I think that's a no for the hot dog toss.

* * *

Hello and welcome to our little show…that is longer then the story…yeah.

Damon: Good entrance.

Shut up. So I watched a new show…well it wasn't new but to me it was. It was called Tokyo Dogs and it was awesome! The main charters remind me of Stefan and Damon, so I thought I want to do a story like that. So look out for it. Not sure who the love interest will be. I want to say Elena or Bonnie, even Caroline. But thinking is hurting my head.

Damon: Yeah, we kind of know that.

*Rolls eyes* Let's get this started! Dbz rox said Damon, Haha go die in a hole somewhere Damon! Ok Damon, I saw those baby pics on Youtube and its soo cute! So why do you screw Barney secretly in the back room?

Damon: …I want to choke you.

Stefan, why do you hang out with you brother if you hate him?

Stefan: I leave and he follows. He's a stalker.

Damon: Keep dreaming.

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Bob, who exactly do you watch?

Bob: *Points to me*

O.O

Bob: And my haters.

Sam: Charity, can I come into the story and go to the backroom with Damon?

Okay.

Heart-Broken: *Grabs Damon* Let's go.

Damon: Huh?

Huh? *Looks around the room* Where's Jack.

Dean: Remember the dare yesterday?

Yeah but I didn't think he would really do it.

Jack: *crying in the corner*

Stefan, I dare you to die.

Stefan: You go first.

TwilightRocks, Dean I'm so sorry I got you in trouble with Sam I thought you told him about Anna. To make it up to you

Twilight: *Grabs Dean and Sam and takes them to the backroom*

Stefan, from all the hate to Stefan on the show (Yes I know that there's been Edward hate too but no one cares about him the fans are into Twilight for the werewolves) So Stefan here you go *Hands him worlds biggest bunny*

Stefan: *Eyes widen with joy*

Zero: *Twitch* Bunny killer.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes* Don't ruin this moment.

Chi, hi can you put Castiel in the story. Please! You can make it up to me for saying no last chapter? Fine.

LeLelurvsGlee asked Zero, Can you shoot Damon multiple times.

Zero: *Cocks gun back*

Damon: Huh?

Zero: *Shoots Damon*

Damon: OW! THE HELL! *Holds left leg*

Zero: *shrugs*

Damon, will please commit suicide and leave us all the hell alone?

Damon: DON'T GO TO SLEEP LELE!

Zero, can you kill Bob?

Bob: No one can kill me! I'm the great…

Zero: *Shoots Bob*

Bob: *Looks down and sees blood. Screams*

Zero: *Sighs* My aim was off.

Anneryn7 for Chi, I vote Bob off of the Island (Meaning show) He's such a creeper. Can I please come into the show? This is what I was thinking.

Anneryn: *Shoots Bob in both knees caps, clubs him over the head, drags him off of the show and throw him in a dumpster, light it on fire, and throw it into a bottomless pit*

Everyone: O.O!

Anneryn: That felt good. *Dust off hands*

Bob: I STILL LIVE!

Everyone: O.O

Anneryn: Where's a shovel?

Let's forget about him.

Anneryn: Fine *Grabs Eric and makes out with him before whispering her address in his ear* Please show me how good you are with your hands.

Sookie: *Folds arms and frowns*

Sookie, *Hugs* You are AMAZING! I love you in the books and the show! (Not as much as Eric, but still.)

Sookie: I can tell but thank you.

Jack!

Anneryn: *Runs up to him and gives him a box full of bottles of rum* Here you go, but only because you're the sexist pirate ever. *Quick kiss*

Jack: *Takes the box of rum and dances with it* WHOO!

Anneryn: Chi, Oh you are just awesome! *Big hug* I made this for you *Hands you a superhero costume* It needs to look bad ass because you are.

*Blushes* Thanks!

Anneryn: Dean, *puts my arm around him* You would make me very happy if we could go spend some time in the Impala…Let's Go! *Drags him to the car*

Dean: W-Wait a minute!

BereniceAndrea said to Zero, As promise, here's your gun. *hands him the new big beautiful gun* Use it with Eddie

Zero: *Takes the gun and points it at Edward*

Edward: Why do you go and shoot Jacob. Do me a favor before you go all psycho killing.

Zero: Maybe. *shoots Edward*

Damon, do you have any embarrassing stuff on Stefan you can use?

Damon: No, expect for the drunken thing, that's all I got.

Berenice: *Goes and kisses him* would you do Katherine now that she's back?

Stefan: I don't know.

Edward, BURN IN HELL, Here's a little help…

Berenice: *Shows gasoline and a lighter in both hands* Muhahahaha burn!

Edward: If I trip you, you'd be screwed!

xXspoiiledheartXx said to me, Chi I feel bad for you and just say the word and I'll be there in an instant to save you from the craziness. *Cries* Someone cares!

Damon: Not really.

Edward, keep talking sparkles I will personally go on that show and kill you or make you my bitch, which ever one better for me.

Edward: All Edward bashers, you know you want me. Your just jealousy so you throw your hatred at me. You want to take Bella's place. I know I'm cool and sexy but stop with all the jealous vibes. It's really bad for the skin.

MinaFTW asked Damon, Would you kick bob's ass for me?

Damon: Sure…if I can find the little bastard. He's been missing after the "I'm alive thing"!

SouthernHemmy dares Eric, To pin him to the wall and kiss him like a lover would in front of everyone…let us know if he kisses you back even just a little.

Eric: *Just up from his seat and disappears*

Damon: Shit.

Eric: *Pinned him against the wall*

Damon: NO! *tries to fight back*

Eric: *Kisses Damon*

Everyone: O.O

Sam: Whoa.

Damon: *Screaming*

Eric:*Thrust his tongue in his mouth*

Damon: *Throws up*

Eric: * Let's go of Damon and wipes his mouth* Nasty.

You just ruined that hot scene Damon.

Damon: *Wipes his mouth* It was disgusting!

Why would you do that?

Damon: I was mouth raped!

*Rolls eyes* Pam, I dare to you to give Chi a lap dance, slow and sexy…Thank me later Chi. *Blushes*

Pam: Sit in the chair Chi, I'm going to show you a good time. Dean, Sam.

Sam & Dean: What?

Pam: Don't let Damon move from that spot?

Damon: …Like these bastards could do anything.

*I sit in a chair*

Pam: Press play. *Sits on my lap*

Stefan: *Pushes a button on the remote*

*Music plays*

Pam: *Turned around and part my legs* Don't be scared I won't bite.

Damon: *Twitch* She's too close.

Sam: Come on Chi's having a good time.

BOOBIE!

Damon: That's it.

Pam: *Slowly takes off bra but then Damon grabs her off*

Dean: Who did he get past up?

Sam: He's a vamp. He can run faster then the Flash!

Pam: Kid left me go before I get serious!

Damon: Let's her go.

Pam: I'll give you more after the show.

Okay.

Damon: No the hell you not!

Zero, I brought you something…Its an M16 machine gun…Take care of sparkly pants…hehe

Zero: *Smiles* Another to the collection. *Shoots at Edward*

Edward: *Runs* No fair!

Sam and Dean, nothing naughty for you too yet, just a simple dare, have a few drinks with Jack and see who's left standing, but you two have to drink as much as Jack does.

Jack: More rum!

What happened to the box?

Jack: I finished it off. Come on Sam and Dean let's get this dare rolling!

Sam: Fine.

Dean: I doubt we will win.

Stefan: So true.

Damon, hmmm what is that bulge in your pants…I knew you would enjoy Eric's kiss

Damon: I hate you. You evil witch, wait till I find you! You're sick! Sick fucking fan girl!

I liked it.

Damon: Because you are sick like her.

Guy on guy is hot. Just saying.

Damon: You're not going to sleep tonight.

O.O What I do?

Damon: I'm getting you back for the crap during the last chapters to this one and here I don't think your going to be standing up for a week.

I have school tomorrow!

Damon: Like…I fucking….care.

Pawprints25, says Bob is creepy kill him please! We tried and failed. He's like a tofu zombie.

Breakfastclub: Edward, Super long hug time! Just kidding! *Kicks him in the balls instead* Take that bitch!

Edward: *Holds balls* I hate you.

Ouch.

Breakfastclub: Dean, Super long hug time for real! *Hugs Dean*

Sam: How long will she hold on this time.

Pam: How knows.

Bob, so when did you break out of the loony bin?

Bob: When your mom gave birth to you.

Sam: Chi, your level of awesomeness is achieved by very few.

Thank you. *Blushes* But I couldn't be awesome without you guys. I wuv you!

Dean: She still hugging me.

Zero: Damon, I dare you to be serious for a minute and tell Chi how you truly feel about her.

Damon: Fine. So yo guys can quite bothering me about this crap. *Grabs me by the hair to face him*

OW!

Damon: I like you. A lot.

*Blushes* ….

Damon: *Slaps my upside the head*

*Rubs head* You're so cruel!

Damon: *Smirk*

Dean: She is still hugging me. Stefan, You & I. Backroom. STAT.

Breakfastclub: *Runs to the backroom*

Stefan: *Runs there too*

Damon: Go Stefan!

AG20 said, Edward you'd be dead before you even got to my door…you better be careful with were you sleep, you never know who was in your room and what they did to your stuff…If I were you, I'd watch my back *Winks* Damon, will you go in the back room with me? *Smiles*

Damon: Sure.

AG: *Grabs Damon and takes him back there*

Hey Sam.

Sam: Huh?

I wonder what Shota is doing right now?

Dean: Probably a movie in Japan of something.

He's so hot!

Sam: We know.

Rougue Assasin said, I take back everything bad I said to you Stefan-you are slightly better than your brother in some ways. Though you need a sense of adventure and Damon outright beats you in looks, don't be sad. Your way better that Eddie standing in the corner with his crispy balls. Hi Eddie, is the pain gone?

Edward: Go away and bash someone else you heartless whore.

So Eric how do you feel about being Sookie's hubby after the book 9?

Eric: Really good right now.

Can I still take you in the back room or is Sookie going to get territorial?

Eric: The second one.

Rogue: Oh well *Grabs and kisses me, slips so tongue. And winks at Dean*

*Faint*

Sam: Stuff her soul back in her mouth!

Rogue: Dean if you weren't gay you'd be getting some of this *She smacks her ass and grabs Pam, and go to the backroom*

*Screams of pleasure heard*

Dean: I'm bi! I like girls too!

Rogue: *Comes in the room* That was yum.

I'm back….*Blushes* I think. Everyone needs to answer this question, If you met Jesus what would you do or say? OH MY GOD WHERE THE HELL YOU BEEN!

Damon: Go away I'm having fun.

Stefan: Is there a vampire heaven?

Dean: Fix my car.

Sam: Faint.

Jack: Turn all the water into booze!

Sookie: Are you going to do anything now or later.

Eric: Don't care.

TdiBridgette said to Zero, I hate you because you shot Damon. He doesn't deserve it, for crying out frikin' loud!

Zero: *Shrugs*

Edward, I want you to go away, back to Bella ugly duckling. Or you can die. Your choice.

Edward: Can I just push you down the stairs?

Damon, I want you to hate Stefan as much as you can, and Stefan you have to at least pretend you get heartbroken because of it.

Stefan: That's really hard.

Damon: I just don't care for him.

SMiiLE said, I also truly reckon that Stefan is the most sexiest fan-freaking-tactic ever and that Edward can take his gay ass sparkles and go die in a hole the rest are alright still sexy but alright.

Stefan: *Smiles*

Goldie25 asked Edward, why do people hate you so much? I don't hate you. Wanna join me in the backroom.

Edward: Sure.

Goldie: *Grabs Edward and takes him to the backroom*

Wow. Go Edward.

Damon: Don't care.

Nessie Carlie Salvatore said, Damon should stuff Jacob! Team Edward/Damon!

Edward: YEAH!

Futureactressks asked Damon, You are so hot. Will you go in the backroom with me?

Damon: Alright. *Smirk* Haha. *Picks up Futureactressks and takes her to the backroom*

Okay! The show is over yay! I'm going to bed after this. I want to thank Dbz rox, Heart-Broken-In-Love, TwilightRocks, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, LeLelurvsGlee, anneryn7, BereniceAndrea, xXspoiiledheartXx, MinaFTW, idoloveyou, Vampirewithasecret, SouthernHemmy, pawprints25, Breakfastclub85, AG20, Rogue Assasin, dirtdevil76, TdiBridgette, SMiiLE, xxsakurokzxx *Thanks for the ideas*, Goldie, Vampire Princess 900, VampirePrincess113, Nessie Carlie Salvatore, and futureactressks for reviews and questions. Peace!

Sam: Love!

Dean: Rock and roll!

Jack: I will do the Sparrow Dance. *Takes him clothes off*

O.O

Jack: *Dances* Dance with me love!

Lol. Bye!


	45. On with the show!

Shows They Can't do Together!

I have sad news guys. I won't be able to do the show for a few days. My computer been messing up and it's going to the shop and I get it back on Tuesday. *Cries* I'M SO SORRY!

Damon: You're not that important. They will go on and find something new, hell maybe they'll find out that you're not that funny.

For someone who likes me you're really cruel.

Damon: *Slaps me upside the head*

OW!

Damon: Start the show.

*Folds arms* This is why I like Stefan better

Damon: *Stares at me* Alright.

O.O Huh?

Damon: I'm not going to fly off the handle today.

We'll see how long that will last.

Castile: Hello.

Sam: *twitch*

HI?

Seth: Hi.

…..Should I be worried?

Damon: Why? It's not like their going to rape you.

Castile: Rape?

It's nothing. Let's just do the show! Heart-Broken-In-Love said to me, everything would be much more hotter if Seth and other hot guys were running around with three shirts off. Or just Seth in general.

Seth: Like this? *Takes off shirt*

*Blushes*

Damon: *Covers my eyes* How the hell are you going to come in here and go all Jacob on us?

Seth: Know your place kid.

Damon: Kid?

*Pushes Damon's hand off* I thought you wasn't going to fly off the handle?

Damon: I'm watching you.

Stefan: Damn she's back.

Heart-Broken: *Holding a stake* Die already!

Stefan: *Twitch* Demon.

Heart-Broken: Don't tell me you're scared of a little girl, or you're afraid that I'll whip your ass harder this time?

Stefan: I don't like fighting girls.

Heart-Broken: TOO LATE! *Chases Stefan*.

Stefan: *Runs* It's too early for this!

Castile: *Points at them* Does this always happens?

*Nods* Fan girls. You'll get use to them.

Castile: I doubt that.

Sam: *Pulls Dean closer to him*

Dean: Huh?

Damon, when is Barney gonna be dead? Once he's crossed off my hit list I can kill your brother.

Damon: Soon. VERY, VERY SOON.

What would you do if everyone you knew turned into Barney's minions?

Damon: I'll kill them all.

If you had to choose between your brother being dead and Katherine being dead who would you choose?

Damon: Can't they both die? I mean I might choose Stefan cause he saved me once but if I had to choose, I'll let them both die.

Stefan, You know what? You better watch out cause I have a stake and bucket of vervain with your name on it. Can you and gayward go fuck each other and die in a hole already?

Stefan: *Dodges a punch* Go find someone who gives a shit!

Jack, Do you like Bob?

Jack: *Wipes mouth* He can hold his liquor. Yeah.

Guess what, Bob has your booze and says he won't give it back unless you kill him.

Jack: BOB! GIMME ME BOOZE!

What do you want to do to Charity?

Jack: …*Thinking* Make her wear that short dress and wear a collar with my name on it. Severing to my every whim.

O.O! Pam, will you help me with my hair?

Pam: Sure.

Do you wanna go to the backroom for 30 minutes? You're the only girl I would do that with.

Pam: Yeah, after your done playing with Stefan.

Heart-Broken: DIE!

Stefan: *Growls*

Zero, Can you shoot Stefan in the balls?

Zero: *Shoots Stefan*

Stefan: DAMN IT ZERO! *Covers his eyes*

Zero: She didn't say which balls.

Can you shoot Gayward multiple times until his head falls off?

Zero: I try that everyday. Need better and bigger bullets.

Can you kill bob?

Zero: That bastard is worst then Jack!

Eric, you only raped Damon's mouth right?

Eric: *Smirk* For now.

Was it good raping Damon's mouth?

Eric: Till he threw up.

Damon: *Shivers*

Crap, she caught him.

Sam: How?

Who knows? Clean up on aisle three! Let's take a break!

* * *

Were back and Breakfastclub85 asked Stefan, what is the most embarrassing thing Elena has ever made you do? *Whispers in his ear* You were great in the backroom we should do it again sometimes. *Winks*

Stefan: She made me assless chaps. I have no idea why.

Damon give me a hot long lap dance.

Damon: Doesn't it say dare on it?

It just says give me…

Damon: No.

Come on it's just a lap dance.

Damon: No. If one girl wants it then a whole bunch of girls want it then dude will want it.

You read to much into things.

Damon: No.

Edward, I hate you too. Why don't you go off and brood about it?

Edward: You're not worth my time!

Sam, I love you, just thought I'd let you know.

Sam: Thank you. *Smiles*

Bob, Why are you so obsessed with Chi? Do you have O.C.D. or something?

Bob: I'll tell you but I'll have to kill you. *Scary music plays* No really I will kill you.

LeLelurvsGlee said that she wanted to hand out stuff.

LeLe: *Hands Stefan a fat bunny*

Stefan: Thanks.

LeLe: *Hand Jack a bottle of Jack* Here.

Jack: YES! You're moving up on my list love.

Picky much?

LeLe: *Hands Eric a pitcher of blood, Edward a growth enhancer because he can grow some balls*

Edward: My balls are huge!

Damon: And sparkly like a disco ball.

Edward: Shut up before I show everyone the disco you sent to Kesha.

Damon: *Wide eyes* Who…DID…YOU…GET THAT!

Edward: You look so cute in the make up.

Damon: YOU BASTARD! I"LL KILL YOU! *Tackles Edward*

LeLe & Me: *Shakes head*

LeLe: I'll give it to him later.

Okay.

LeLe: *Gives Sam and Dean an hour hug*

Sam: Hour.

Castile: Is this a competition?

Dean: Nope, girls just give us really, really, really long hugs.

LeLe: *Hugs Sookie*

Sookie: Thanks.

LeLe: *Gave Zero a taser*

O.O! I kind of feel sorry for you guys now.

LeLe: Bob I got something special for you. *Smiles while holding a shotgun behind her back*

Bob: I don't trust you.

LeLe: Come on, you will like it.

Bob: No.

LeLe: Oh well. *Pulls out the shot gun and shoots him*

Everyone: O.O!

Bob: I'll ALIVE!

LeLe: O.O!

Okay…Dbz rox want to be nice to Damon.

Damon: I really doubt that.

Dbz: *Hands Damon a bottle of blood* See I'm being nice.

Damon: *Takes it*

Dbz: *Smiles* (It secretly spiked with vervain but he can't tell)

O.O. Stefan do you still have feelings for Katherine ever though you're with Elena?

Stefan: You always have feelings for you first love.

Dean: Chi, I'm loving this story so much! You're an awesome writer!

*Rubs back of the head and blush* Thank you.

Sam: Lind-z lou said, can we have Damon, Eric, and Dean do the single ladies dance or have everyone sing bohemian rhapsody by Queen?

Start singing boys! *Presses play on the remote*

Dean: *Holding a microphone* Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

Damon: *Holding a mic* Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality. Open your eyes.

Eric: *Holding a mic* Look up to the skies and see. I'm just a poor boy.

Damon & Dean: Poor boy.

Eric: I need no sympathy. Because I'm easy come, easy go.

Dean: Little high, little low. Any way the wind blows.

Damon: Doesn't really matter to me.

Edward: Mama just killed a man….

Damon & Dean & Eric: *Glares at him*

Edward: What?

Damon: You ruined the song!

Sam: Your singing sucks, man.

Edward: Shut up!

TwilightRocks dares Eric to tie up Damon up in vervain ropes and do whatever you want to him and tell us what happened.

Eric: *Smirks*

Damon: I really hate you!

Castiel are you still a virgin or did you finally do it after the whole house of iniquty *Whore house* Thing?

Castiel: Dean took it.

Dean: *Blushes*

Sam: Stay away from him!

Castiel: Or what?

Sam: *Eyes flicker to black*

Oh shit!

MinaFTW said to Zero, Lets go make out.

Zero: No.

Why?

Zero: Unlike most people, I'm faithful to Yuki.

So you don't mind that she's banging her brother right now?

Zero: …

Dean, to the backroom.

Dean: *Rubs to the backroom*

Salvatores, 1.2.3 Damon, Stefan, and Mina, and I'm caught in between. *Drags both to the backroom*

Okay.

Sam: *hands you basket of coolness* You deserve it.

Thank you. *Smiles* To Edweirdo lovers, are you guys high or stupid? Edweirdo is creepy bushy eyed stalker/ over protective fatherly figure who needs to rot in hell. *Ducks* I'm just the massager.

Edward: Don't care.

Edward, I'm as jealous about you as I am with tinker bell meaning not at all, come back when I'm not grossed out when you takes your shirt off.

Edward: Just admit it. You want me. *Lifts up his shirt* All this sexiness.

Mina: *Walks over to Edward with a flame thrower*

Edward: *Runs*

Rogue Assasin says to me, you and Damon are really cute together chi…

Damon: Pfft.

Here's plane tickets to Hawaii when you 2 tie the knot *Blushes* Or you could come with me *Rogue grabs me and smooches me*

Damon: *Twitch*

M-My soul is coming out. It was too…hot. *Falls to the floor* I want another one but I'll melt.

Rogue: Hmmm, me a heartless whore, that may be true Eddie but at least I ain't some auitque virgin like you, you useless fuck, and I bet you're impotent. Time to be my bitch. * Puts on straps and drags Eddie wearing a dog collar to the dungeon*

*Whipping and screams of terror heard followed by "Have Mercy!"*

O.O

Edward: *Edward crawls out crying like a girl and sits in the corner rocking with bob*

Rogue: And FYI Eddie no one wants to be like you or you precious brainless Bella, you are a fairy get over it.

Edward: *Sticks tongue out*

Rogue: Aww Dean I know your bi but you feel tainted after being with Sam, were you jealous after I dragged Pam to the back room?

Dean: I don't feel tainted and yes I was a bit jealous.

Rogue: Here have a video, don't share with Damon, I'm still mad at him *Rogue grabs Pam and disappears* Sorry Char but she ain't coming out of that room till the next show *Rogue blows Charity a kiss*

Char could you pretty please with sprinkles on top bring in Wolvererine and Gambit, not from the retarded movies but from the comic series that we all love-I love the X-MEN – rogue was, is and will always be my idol. Alrite.

xXspoiiledheartXx said, Chi can I go on the show and kill Edward he needs to learn that I'm just as bad as Damon, maybe even worst and don't worry Chi like I said, Just say the word.

Edward: Shit.

*Turns around*

xXspoiiledheartXx: *Stabs Edward with a stake* Die fairy!

Edward, no one likes you everyone wishes you would die and personally I feel bad for Bella having to be with you.

Edward: STOP STABBING ME!

xXspoiiledheartXx: I'LL STOP WHEN YOU DIE!

Vampirewithasecret say, Stefan I love you! *Hands him a bunny*

Stefan: *Smiles*

You must really love bunnies.

Stefan: Yeah.

But you would eat cats.

Stefan: Their evil.

So true. Anneryn7 asked me, Can I please come in the story? Yeah.

Anneryn: Jack! *Give him rum and a quick kiss* Let's do the sparrow dance, love!

Jack: You have to take your clothes off first.

Anneryn: Damon we need to go in the backroom pronto. *Smiles and lends him to the backroom*

Sookie: So Chi, I think we should do a girls day out. Just the two of us.

Yeah I agree.

Anneryn: *Hugs and gives me tape with a superhero theme song* Because you're awesome. *quick kiss* Later!

BereniceAndrea dares me to spend two whole days with the super hero costume you got…*Grabs it and hold it up* It looks like it came from Sailor moon and it's shorter.

Sookie: Pam probably did it.

Seth: You guys forgot about me huh?

Sorry. Jack, what is your favorite word?

Jack: Rum!

Sam, Spice girls or Lady Gaga?

Sam: Umm…Lady Gaga.

Dean, Pam or Eric?

Dean: Eric.

Berenice: Stefan! *Tackles him and kisses him* Squirrels or bunnies?

Stefan: Bunnies.

Berenice: *hands him a bunny* If you had to be in a show, what would it be?

Stefan: Probably E.R.

Berenice: *Hands him a stake* Place it on Edward's heart for me, would you? And then we'll go to the backroom

Damon: Fine.

Berenice: *Kicks Edward in the head* Seriously, nobody likes you, nobody wants you. I want Damon, not you! YOU FREAKING SUCK, WHAT KIND OF VAMPIRE SHINES AND HAVES NO FANGS? You're a joke.

Edward: You mom is too.

The show is over and I'm a bit sad that I can't do more till next week but I'll see you guys soon. I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, Breakfastclub85, LeLelurvsGlee, Dbz rox, lind-s lou, TwilightRocks, MinaFTW, pawprints25, Rogue Assasin, xxsakurarokxx, dirt devil76, xXspoiiledheartXx, FutureActessKS, Vampirewithasecret, anneryn7, and BereniceAndrea for reviews and questions. Peace!

Dean: Love!

Sam: STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM DEAN!

Castile: What are you? His master?

O.O Whoa. Bye guys.

Damon: No.

Huh?

Damon: SouthernHemmy, I saw that nasty story with me and Eric.

Eric: I liked it.

Damon: I am not that weak to let that bastard RAPE ME! I'm watching you! Don't go to sleep.

Eric: *Smirk* Isn't he cute as a bottom?

Damon: FUCK YOU ERIC!

Bob: I'm watching you all while you sleep.

Everyone: ….

Bob: *Evil laugh*

Bye! *Waves*


	46. Guess who's back!

Show They Can't Do Together!

Hello guys I'm back and better then ever! Sorta….I think.

Damon: No one cares.

Shut up. Well I'm back and everything going to be the way it was…tomorrow.

Damon: Still no one cares.

Fine then I guess no one cares that I'm doing a twilight parody with you two staring and guess who's Bella?

Damon: *Grabs me by the collar* I'LL KILL YOU BITCH!

*Screams*

Stefan: Put her down.

Damon: *Glares at him*

Stefan: …

Damon: *Still glaring at him*

Stefan: No I'm still not affected but anyways Chi what all you've been doing while on your break?

The usual. Eat, sleep, went to see a movie and went back to sleep again.

Damon: Your life is so boring.

I know. I know. But starting next Wednesday I'm letting someone else takeover the show as the host! TdiBridgette! Thank god because I didn't a break for you…Damon.

Damon: Pfft. You lazy shrimp!

Stefan: *Shrugs*

Dean: Hey Chi! How was your break?

Pretty uneventful but know I'm here I'm prepaid for anything.

Sam: *Coughs* You have a collar on. *Coughs*

*Twitch* Yeah. Please don't remind me. I'll wearing this small superhero outfit and if Jack would stop looking up there I would be fine!

Jack: I really like the view love.

*Rolls eyes* So Seth had fun during the break?

Seth: *Takes off his shirt* Why is it so hot in here?

*Blush* I don't know why but you are!

Damon: I'll kill you Chi.

Pfft. Fine. So let's get on with the show! …Where's Bob.

Edward: Dead…hopefully.

Zero: So true.

Breakfastclub85 says, Damon you're so difficult! Fine. I DARE you to give me a hot & long lap dance. I want to add something, no head butts!

Damon: Fine.

Breakfastclub: *smiles as she walks over to the chair and sits down*

Damon: Play the music and nothing sissy!

Stefan: *Smirk* Okay.

Sam: *Presses play on the radio*

Barney theme song starts playing.

Damon: *Twitch* Haha. Bastards!

Breakfastclub: Don't play like that.

Sam: *Presses another button*

Sexy back starts playing.

Damon: *Licks his lips and walks over to chair* You ready?

Breakfastclub: *Blushes and nods* Yes!

Damon: *Starts unbuttoning his shirt then sits on her lap*

Seth: I can do way better than that.

Dean: Prove it. *Licks his lips*

Seth: …Chi do you want one?

*Places hands up and shakes her head* Let's not ruin Breakfastclub's lap dance.

Seth: *Bends down* Did he imprint on you?

N-No. *Gets hit in the head with a shoe*

Kendra: I'm watching you…brat! Damon's mine!

…*Holding head* Who is she?

Kendra: The bitch that will stab you if you make a move on Damon.

*Places hands up* Okay…okay…I'm sorry. But I was with Seth!

Damon: *Rips off his shirt and throws it at my head*

Why am I'm being picked on?

Sam: Deal with it until it get to much then kick their butt.

Okay!

Dean: Chi, Powerpuff Girls or Sailor Moon?

Um…That's really tough. But I'll give it to Sailor Moon cause that was the first anime I seen ever and I still like it.

Sam: Jack, craziest thing you've ever do on the Black Pearl?

Jack: Huh?

Answer the question Jack.

Jack: …*Falls over*

Jack? *Bends over and tried to shake him awake*

Dean: I have a bad feeling.

Sam: Same here.

Jack?

Jack: *Groans*

*Shakes him harder* Jack?

Jack: *Grabs me and pulls me into his arms*

….*Screams*

Jack: You smell like peaches love.

*Blushes*

Stefan: *Grabs me off him*

Huh?

Stefan: *Looks at Damon*

Damon: …. *Points to his eyes then points at Jack's*

Sookie, super long hug time!

Sookie: Huh? *Gets tackled*

*Stefan sets me down* Thanks!

Stefan: Just savin myself from seeing blood.

*Laughs* Seth. Backroom. Now!

Seth: Okay.

Breakfastclub: *Grabs Seth and goes to the backroom*

….Yeah. Let's of backroom action going on. MinaFTW is angry with me…what did I do this time? Stefan never 'Loved' Katherine he just thought she was hot. Katherine compelled Stefan to like her, he never actually did. Damon was the one who loved Katherine as shown on the season two promo. He even wants her back when she comes to Mystic Falls. Well I never said that he was in love with her…how can I put it, he was infatuated with her. Of course he wasn't in love with her but his definition of long can be of two things. I'm in love with you to the point that I would risk my life for you or I love you but that's just it. It's like the way you feel for Stefan or Damon…please god do tell me you're in love with him.

Damon: You're jealous?

Hahaha…Right. *Rolls eyes* But look he was sarcastic and even if he had said that he still love her doesn't exactly have to mean that he's in love with her.

Damon: You really suck at explaining.

Yeah. I know.

TwilightRocks asked Eric, How'd it go?

Eric: *Smirk*

Damon I'm sorry, how can I reasonably make it up to you?

Damon: Wear a collar, get on your knees and be my bitch.

Twilight: *Grabs Castiel and makes out with him*

Dean: *Twitch*

Sam: *Rolls his eyes at Dean*

Cas, so who do you like or are dating?

Castiel: *Comes up for air* Dean.

Sam: *Eyes flicker to black* Bring it Cas.

Dean: Chi, check out my new story its sort off like this one, let me know what you think in the reviews.

I did. *Smirks* Messing with Damon was fun.

Damon: Twilight, what did she do to me?

It's nothing.

Damon: Nothing my ass!

So people check out TwilightRocks's Random decisions! Funny stuff.

Damon: Ten dollars that it's better than yours.

*Pokes fingers together*

Stefan: Ouch.

I wanna cry in the corner now. I'm just kidding….I'm just going to cry right here.

Sam: FurtureActressKS…..

FutureActress: *Places herself in Damon's lap and purrs* I love you. *Hands him her address then looks at Edward* You are very annoying Edweirdo, so not hot at all. Ew.

Edward: You know you want all this glitter baby.

Heart-Broken-In-Love asked Seth, What would you do if you imprinted on Bella?

Seth: I would protect her.

Damon & Stefan &Me: We sense a lie!

Seth: I'm just answering a question as I see fit.

Damon: Put a damn shirt on Senior Jacob.

Seth: We all know you gay for Jacob.

Damon: You…BASTARD!

Stefan: *Grabs Damon and holds him back*

Seth: Next question.

Heart-Broken: *Grabs his arm and takes him to the back room*

Um…let's go to Damon's questions for a bit. If you had to chose between Alice, Jacob, or Jack to go in the backroom with Chi, who would you choose?

Damon: None.

*Cocks head to the side* Why?

Damon: *Growls* Cause you know why!

…*Evil smile* You love me.

Damon: Pfft. No. Like and love is two different things.

You like me?

Damon: I…

*Gets hit in the head* OW! *Rubs head then looks at fingers* I'm bleeding!

Kendra: You're a dead girl.

*Narrows eyes then gasp* BOB!

Kendra: I have no idea what you are talking about. *Pulls out an ax* Prepare to become a true heartless person.

*Gulps*

Damon: Hey, hey, hey, wait until after the show is over.

Kendra: *Smiles* Okay Damon.

O.O. Let's get on with the show, Damon I dare you too tell Charity how you feel about her and it has to be the truth.

Damon: For fan girls I thought, maybe even hoped that you would tear her to pieces over this. She like one of those pathic author how makes the character to fall in love with her…

Stefan: Cat got your tongue?

Damon: Shut up.

You know that everything come out like a real show. My mind doesn't really work like that you know that more then anyone Damon.

Damon: I'll push you off a cliff…then maybe save you if you're still alive.

You suck! Fine I love Stefan!

Stefan: *Puts his hands up* Don't put me in this.

Damon: Who's the one in the short dress?

Jack: With the polka dot panties.

Me & Damon: … Stay out of it.

Damon: Fine I admit it, so you fan girls can get off my back. I'm interested in her that's it. It's not love maybe like but not love.

Castiel: But…

Damon: Say anything and I'll rip off your wings!

Seth: *Pulls up pants* What did I miss?

Nothing, here's the rest of your questions. Yo seem to stay around the Cullens a lot Doesn't the smell bother you?

Seth: Since I been near them for so long I got use to it.

Guess what? You just made werewolves better than vampires.

Seth: I know. Those pale bastards.

Edward: Hey!

Seth: ….If you want to fight, bring it. Other than that sit on you little area and mind the grown up that are talking mister seventeen forever.

Edward: …

*Laughs* For me, Thanks for letting me come in the story again and thanks for bringing along Seth. No problem!

Dean: How much damage did I do too Stefan?

…Like say that it would make Eli Roth cringe and he's a pretty sick guy.

Sam: Pam, what would you do if a were wolf imprinted on you?

Pam: I'll find a way to make money off of him or her.

Have you tried werewolf blood before?

Pam: Yes. A couple of times.

Stefan, did you enjoy getting your ass kicked by a girl-again?

Stefan: I don't like fighting little girls. No matter how bat-shit crazy she is.

Heart-Broken: *Throws a stake at Stefan's Heart while pouring a bucket of vervain on him*

Stefan: *Hisses*

…Bob! What do you do to Charity when you watch her? Yeah Bob, what do you do?

Bob: *In the corner* Place a curse on you and white stuff.

….*Screams* YOU PERVERT!

Dean: How do you die?

Bob: *Laughs* Like I'm going to tell you.

Let's try acid.

Bob: That won't kill me.

Everyone: Out of Everyone that has been on the show, who do you want to die the most? Kendra. *Twitch* I didn't even do anything!

Stefan: *Coughs up blood* YOU!

Damon: Edward, Jacob, Eric, Dean, Jacob.

You said Jacob twice.

Damon: When will he die!

Eric: Everyone expect Chi and Sookie, maybe Sam.

Bob: CHI!

Edward: Everyone fan hater! And Damon and Stefan!

Sookie: No one really.

Pam: Could careless.

Seth: Damon.

Jack: NOT THE BOOZE!

…Who is the last person you would want to die? Shota!

Sam: He's not on the show.

Fine. Sookie, Sam, or Stefan.

Pam: Sookie or Chi.

Damon: *Twitch* I was going to say you Chi but I'll save the blond.

Sookie: I have a name.

Damon: Don't really care.

Stefan: Chi or Damon. I want to finish him off myself.

Jack: NOT THE BOOZE!

Eric: Sookie.

Seth: Chi.

Bob: Everyone can die!

Edward: Sookie or Sam.

xXspoiiledheartXx says Chi, if you need me to kill anyone just ask. *Cries* I love you! You care that I'm with these crazy people! Can you kill Bob?

Bob: I'm watching you.

Dean: Edward learned you lesson yet Muhahaha!

Edward: I want to push you down the cliff and hold your head in the water. Bring it.

SouthernHemmy says to Eric, yes he has a cute butt.

Eric: *Chuckles*

Damon: *Twitch* I remember your story!

Damon, not scared of you, Remember witches are stronger than you and smarter.

Damon: Don't care, I'm still after you.

Anneryn: *Hugs Seth* You are my favorite werewolf if that makes you feel better. Jacob doesn't come close to you.

Seth: Thanks.

Anneryn: Eric, I'm borrowing you for the rest of the show…We're going to have some fun at my house…where Bob can't watch us.

Bob: I'll still see you.

Eric: After the show you can do whatever you want to me. *Winks*

Anneryn: *Hugs me on the way out* I'm coming back for you.

Eric: Alright.

Pawprint: Stefan *Hands him her cat* just to prove that they're not evil…please don't eat him.

Stefan: I think you should keep him away from me then. I'm not good with keeping fuzzy things alive.

I really want Bob dead, stupid whatever he is.

Bob: I want you soul!

Vampirewithasecret says, at the end Damon said Fuck you Eric, Does that mean Damon really want to fuck him?

Damon: I hate you. Really I do.

So you do?

Damon: *Stares at me* You know me better than that.

*Laughs* I would go gay for Eric if I was a guy.

Damon: You're just stupid.

BroadwayAngelLyric asks me; would you like it if Sookie and I set up a romantic date for you and Damon?

*Blushes* N-no, I'm fine.

Damon: Why not?

It's nothing Damon.

Damon: *Grabs me by the collar and leans closer* What…is…wrong?

*Holds nose* A thousand perverted thought just entered my head!

Damon: *Let's me go* I like messing with you.

*Rubs nose* Edward, I dare you to run Fangtasia for Eric for a day without getting killed.

Edward: Fine.

Eric: I doubt that you'll last an hour.

Edward: I'll show all you bastards!

Stefan, I dare you to live off Trublood and human food for a whole week *No bunnies not even from fan girls*

Stefan: Are you trying to kill me? Fine, a whole week? Okay.

Broadway: *Pulls Eric and Pam into a big hug* Pam and Eric, you are true role models of what a real vampire should be.

Pam: Thanks.

Eric: *smirks*

Jack, wanna go to a party later? I'll bring booze.

Jack: You had me at booze love.

Rogue: *Steps in the room*

Bob: IT'S SATAN! *Rocks back and forth*

Edward: *Nods and shivers*

Rogue: Eddieweddekins- aren't you missing you precious pissing venom in your pants?

Edward: Go terrorize someone else!

Rogue: *Rogue puts an arm around Damon and whispers* I love the smell of fear, don't you?

Damon: *Smirks*

Everyone, what is the most heinous damage would you like me to do to Eddie and/or Bella?

Damon: Dump Edward's head in acid and let Bella watch. She go crazy again and try to kill herself but make sure she doesn't have anything on her and watch as she claws at her throat.

Stefan: Shave his sprinkle skin off and keep doing it when it grows back.

Pam: Burn them both.

Eric: I can careless.

Do what?...I forgot the question.

Seth: Um…It's go with Stefan's idea.

Sookie: Who are they?

Edward: I'm Edward.

Sookie: …Who?

Jack: Drown him.

He can't drown.

Jack: huh? In booze.

…Okay Jack.

Rogue: You guys are thinking to small. *Walks over to me* Awww Charity another kiss can be arranged.

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: Steffie hold Damon, I think his head might explode.

Stefan: Okay. *Holds Damon*

Damon: Let go of me Stefan!

Rogue: *Pulls me into a liplock*

*Steams come out*

WARNING! If your screen appears misty it's just steam coming out of Charity as she melts.

Rogue: *Let's me go and watches me fall on the ground then wipes the bottom of her lip* Mmmmm Taste like peaches. Anyways, so Sookie I want you to tell us honestly how you feel about fan girls taking Eric in the backroom and should we be afraid when we go to bed.

Sookie: I don't really condone violents but…be careful about how you sleep at night. It pisses me off that they do it. That's all I'll say before I become more mad.

Damon, Dean, Stefan and Sam if you could choose 2 people from this show and the fan girls to have a 3some with who would they be?

Sam: Stefan and Heart-Broken. I know it will never happen but…she hot.

Dean: Castiel and Sam but those two keep butting heads so that's never going to happen.

Stefan: Pawprint and Anneryn.

Damon: You and TwilightRocks.

Damon if you want to be exclusive with Chi you better get down on one bended knee and you need to be…monogamous.

Damon: *Rolls eyes* Pfft. Like that's going to happen. *Points to me*

So Seth can I ride on your back one day?

Seth: You can do more then that.

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: *Licks the side of Pam's face* Ready for round 3?

Pam: I've been ready.

Rogue & Pam: *Disappear in the backroom with the stripping pole*

After an Hour

Rogue: *Pulls her shirt down* Oh Charity, I dare you to join us after the show. Jeez Stef throw some water in your bro, he looks like he's going to explode.

Damon: *Growls* Why would I get worked up for that little midget!

Rogue: *Winks at me*

Pam: *Blows her a kiss*

Goldie25 says, You guys need to stop fighting, or I'm going to cry.

Damon: I really doubt that would happen.

Edward, here's a Mountain Lion for you.

Edward: Thank you. At least someone cares from me!

Damon, you can take my blood anytime.

Damon: Remember that you said that.

Stefan, there's a bunny with your name on it in the backroom *Winks*

Stefan: *Sighs* I can't eat the bunny.

Zero: …Hmm. Kill Bob and Eric for me would you?

Zero: I just got here and people want me to kill other people already. I should come here late more often. Okay.

Eric: Try anything and I'll rape you.

Zero: Don't care.

Sam and Dean, make a porno.

Sam: *Blushes* We made a…few.

Everyone else, go to the backroom with Chi. *Blushes*

Goldie: Right now I'm going to the backroom. *Steals Stefan and runs*

…We still need him.

Goldie: *Yells out the room* You'll get him back soon!

….*Laughs* This show is nuts. BereniceAndrea says, Damon I dare you to answer one question from each one on the show (Any questions they want) Personal or not with a smile on your face…

Damon: You're so lucky that this is a dare.

And honest answers only. Can't curse or threaten anyone. So listen up! If you want Damon to tell the truth just say honest answers only.

Damon: You know you make me hate you more and more.

Good. *Sticks tongue out*

Damon: I'll bite it off.

*Sticks tongue back in* You're so mean!

Damon: *Smirk* Don't care.

Stefan I dare you to adopt a puppy and NOT eat it.

Stefan: Aw. *Frowns*

Sam I dare yo to give a lap dance to Cass.

Sam: Over…my…dead…body.

Castiel: That can be arranged.

Sam: *Tackles Castiel*

Sam & Castiel fights.

Dean are you going to stop them?

Dean: *Shakes head* That's hot.

*Clothes start ripping off*

I really need a camera.

Dean: Well said.

Pam, take Dean in the back room for some action, will you?

Pam: *Claps* Come on Dean, let's have fun.

Dean: But…

Pam: *Grabs Dean and drags him*

Edweirdo *evil laugh* I dare you to let Damon beat you up for 10 minutes, or I'll burn you.

Edward: Like you would….

Berenice: *Pours gasoline on him* Edward Go Boom. *Holds up a lighter*

Edward: Damon…

Damon: *Smirks then punches Edward*

Eric, leave Damon alone! He's mine!

Eric: I really doubt that.

LeLelurvsGlee asks Bob, when will you die?

Bob: I'LL NEVER DIE!

Zero, With the taser I gave you can you use it on Mr. Sparkle pants?

Zero: I'll do it when he's feet touches the ground.

Edward: *Gets punched in the head*

..son ask me, what is your favorite supernatural episode of all time? *Thinks* It would have to be between the one with the suicidal bear and when Dean was scared of everything. Take it from here Stefan!

Stefan: The show is over! I hope you learned something about us because I know I didn't.

So true and I want to say a special thank you to futureactressks for putting my fic on her youtube description bar. THANK YOU! I think I'm going to cry now.

Sam: *Pats me on the head* Big baby.

Also please check out pawprints25 fic The insane thoughts of a tired writer. Yes we all love random things if you like this show. I want to thank VampirePrincess113, Breakfastclub85, MinaFTW, TwilightRocks, FutureActressKS, Heart-Broken-In-Love, xXspoiiledheartXx, SouthernHemmy, anneryn7, pawprints25, Vampirewithasecret, BroadwayAngelLyric, Rogue Assassin, Goldie25, dirtdevil76, BereniceAndrea, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, LeLelurvsGlee, and ..son for reviews and questions! Sorry it told so long, I was going to post it yesterday but something came up. Sooo…Peace!

Sam & Castiel: Love! *Stares at each and frowns*

Stefan: And bunnies.

You're on a dare.

Stefan: *Drinks Trublood* I know.

…Where's Eric, Seth, and Damon?

Dean: Fangirls.

*Laughs* Bye guys hope you have a wonderful day.

Pam: *Grabs me* Let's go.

Huh?

Pam: *Smirks* You know what.

Sam: DEAN'S MINE!

Castiel: HE'S MINE!

Dean: *Nervous laugh* See you guys tomorrow.


	47. How to make Alex disappear

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Wizards of Waverly Place!

Alex: Oh come off it Justin.

Justin: I can't! You almost blew up a box full of puppies!

Alex: *Shrugs* The key word is almost, besides they were smart to leave.

Justin: You're horrible!

Alex: *Laughs* You know you love me.

Stefan: She reminds me of you.

Alex: I doubt that. Who are you?

Damon: How old are you? You legal?

Alex: *Narrows eyes* Maybe.

Damon: I don't really care.

Alex: I can blow you up if you don't get away from me.

Justin: She really will.

Stefan: You have a crazy sibling too.

Justin: Two.

Stefan: Sucks for you.

Alex: Yeah, who are you, what are you and tell me before I blow you up.

Justin: She will.

Stefan: *Takes a step away from Damon*

Damon: Huh?

Stefan: Bad things happen to you.

Justin: Bad things happen to me! Cause of her! *Points to Alex*

Alex: No it doesn't….*laughs* I couldn't keep a straight face. So you guys vampires?

Damon: Yeah what of it.

Alex: Hey Justin more friends! Are you finally going to turn gay?

Justin: *Pulls out a wand and mutters a spell under his breath*

Alex: *Disappears*

Stefan: Tell me what you did. I might need to use that later.

Damon: Try it and I will kill you!

Justin: *Twitch* I'll give it to you later.

Hello! I'm back and here to do the show! Yeah!

Lestat: Hello!

You're back from vaca!

Lestat: Vegas is really nice this year.

I'm happy you got a break.

Lestat: *Sits on Stefan's lap and rub circles in his chest* I miss you Stefan.

Stefan: *Stands open and walks away*

Damon: *Laughs* Aren't you happy to see your boyfriend.

Eric: *Rubs Damon's butt* I missed you too honey.

Damon: *Runs away*

Sookie: Seems like the gangs here.

Yeah. Let's get on with the show kay! Pawprint25 dares Sam and Castiel to hug for the rest of the show.

Sam & Castiel: ….NO! *Glare at each other*

It's a dare.

Sam: No. I rather rip my eyes out and feed them to a shark.

Castiel: I just don't want to do that.

*Rolls eyes* Please for me.

Sam: Chi I…

*Bambi eyes*

Sam: Chi..

*Bambi eyes*

Sam: Castiel come here and if you say anything thing I will kill you. *Hugs Castiel* I want to kill myself now.

Castiel: I feel icky.

Aw. *Takes a picture* I'm putting this in my picture book. Hmm.

Damon: No..

But I saw red hair…

Damon: No…

Alice?

Alice: *Tackles me* Hi!

*Almost dies*

Wolverine: You took my spotlight.

Alice: *Squeezes me* You're late.

I died and gone to heaven. I love you Alice.

Damon: Let go or die.

Alice: *Pouts* I don't want too. Creepy bastard.

Damon: You…

Alice: You won't win Damon. I know your going to punch my and grab Chi out of my arms but think again.

Louis: This is what I missed.

Jacob: It wasn't much.

Okay. FutureActressKS ask me if she could come on the show. For a little bit.

Sookie: Many fan girls want to take you place.

They can have it. It's not that exciting. Just guys fighting, girls kissing and surprise butt sex.

Lestat: Stefan wants surprise butt sex? *Winks at Stefan*

Stefan: *Walks away*

FutureActress: To Edweirdo, For that 'You know you want all this glitter baby' comment. *hands a crowbar to Stefan* I'm sure, Stefan, wouldn't mind beating Eddie here up for me. *evil smile*

Stefan: *Takes the crow bar* Don't mind if I do.

Edward: I will sick Bob on you!

Bob: I see you when you pee.

….What?

Bob: You heard me Chi a pet.

*Twitch*

Damon: Chi-a-pet?

That's my mom's nickname for me.

Damon: Bwhahahahah!

It's not that funny Damon!

Damon: *Wipes eye* I can really see where she got the name from.

Next question.

FutureActress: To Damon, I dare you to...give me your shirt.

Damon: What kind of dare is that?

Stefan: It's non queer.

Damon: …Good point. *Unbuttons shirt*

Eric: Take it off slowly.

Damon: *Rips off shirt and throws it at her*

FutureActress: *Sexy music comes on. Out of nowhere strips dress off, throwing it in Jack's direction with a bottle of tequila, and then throws Damon's shirt over self*

Sookie: O.O Where's the music coming from.

Don't even try to make sense of it.

FutureActress: So many women, Damon, so many fan girls, but I'm sure that not many have denied you a kiss.

I did.

Damon: You're just weird.

FutureActress: *teasingly flaunts that I haven't kissed you in front of his face* I really like it here. I think I'll stick around.

Jack: Until some crazy person threaten to kill you in your sleep.

Just ignore Bob.

Bob: *Stares for a long time*

*Shivers* Scary! SouthernHemmy asked Pam, Who do you think is sexier...Gambit or Wolverine? I have always been a Gambit fan...Love the accent.. 

Pam: Wolverine, I'm a metal loving girl.

Wolverine: *Smirk*

Pam: *Licks lips*

It's because he's here.

Pam: That too.

Dean and Sam, What was the last movie you both saw and was it any good?

Dean: The last Airbender.

Sam: It sucked. Bad.

Jack, I brought you rum and will give you a back rub later...

Jack: You had me at rum, love.

Stefan, *hands him a bunny*...Would you like me to write a story for you and who would you like to be paired with out of the group?

Stefan: Yes and Sookie, please.

Sookie: Huh?

Stefan: You're the only normal girl here besides Chi and I doubt Damon would allow that.

Damon: Damn right!

*Twitch*

Alice: I'll be with you.

*blushes*

Damon: What about Shota?

Alice is here. *Smile*

Damon: I'll kill you.

Alice: Good luck with that buddy. *Hugs me*

Dean: Where's Jasper?

Alice: …I'm rebelling.

*Puckers lips* I still love you.

Damon: *Through teeth* I'll…will…cut…them…off.

*frowns* Mean, Eric, please grab Damon and meet me in the back room...I think a threesome would be hot...Plus I know I can make Damon scream...Whether for more or in pain is yet to be seen...

Damon: NO!

Eric: *Grabs Damon*

This makes me wish I put it on M. Don't worry Chi, I asked Rogue and Sookie to take care of you while we were in the back room...Winks

Yay.

Damon: *Glares at me*

No. Bob, just who the hell are you?

Bob: I am the overlord of the world! Master of the human race and the enslaveror of the world.

A dude made out of tofu.

Bob: FUCK YOU CHI! BURN BITCH BURN!

Zero, I brought you a 50 Cal rifle...Please use it wisely.*Kisses his cheek*

Zero: Love too. *takes it and aims it at Edward then at Stefan* Really hard to decided.

Heart-Broken-In-Love says Seth, Damn. You hate Damon? That sucks. Oh well you are awesomer than Damon. So I guess Damon sucks now.

Damon: *Runs out* Screw Seth and FUCK YOU ERIC!

Seth: I don't like you like that.

Eric: I know you want to.

Damon: This is my ass. You don't can't have it!

Heart-Broken: *drags Seth to backroom again*

Seth likes it. Charity. Can I attack Stefan again he needs his ass whooped again?

Stefan: I know the routine. 

Heart-Broken: Bye Stefan *Hits him with a silver bat*

Stefan: *Hiss*

Who is Kendra? She's a friend who is a diehard Damon fangirl.

Sam: Bob, So what exactly are you?

Bob: I'm you lord and master!

Dean: He's Tofu.

Bob: Stay out of it Dean 

Are you a boy, girl, it or he/she? 

Bob: I'm tofu, we don't have different sexes. 

Sam, You had said threesome with me and Stefan and you. That will never happen.

Heart-Broken: *throws vervain at Stefan* But I will have sex with you. *drags Sam to the back room*

Stefan: MY EYES!

Damon, Seth hates you so I do too *mummers sadly* But I will not try to kill you unlike your brother who I will kill.

Damon: Fuck him. He couldn't last in a fuck contest anyways.

Seth: You think you'll win?

Damon: Yeah I bet I could out last you.

I have a bad feeling. Hey Heart-Broken please take my place or anyone take my place cause I know where this is going.

Damon: Too late rabbit.

Shit. *Sighs* 

Heart-Broken: *Kills Barney for you* That is the last nice thing I can do.

Damon: Thanks. *Pokes Barney's dead body with a stick*

Edward, was Stephanie Meyer drunk when she made you?

Edward: Was your mom.

Stop with the cheap shots.

Edward: This kid gets what she deservers. Evil, her and Rogue.

Pam, threesome? Me you and Dean?

Pam: When and what time?

Stefan: Stop rubbing on me Lestat!

Lestat: You look so hot even with all those wounds on you.

Stefan: I hate you Heart-Broken!

Heart-Broken: Don't care.

Layla55 says to Edward OMG! Get you sparkly ass out of here. No one cares. *scoffs*

Edward: *Rolls eyes* I don't like you so go away.

To Chi, *Grins widely* It's my b-day today, can I borrow Stefan for a night? *smirks* Save him from the misery.

Stefan: Yes save me!

Zero *hands you an ak47* Kill Edward, please.

Zero: *Grabs the gun, points it at Edward and shots it*

Edward: *Ducks* ZERO!

Zero: *Shrugs* You'll heal. *Shoot the gun again*

BereniceAndrea says to Damon, you still have a dare going! each one of the people on the story gotta ask you 1 question and you gotta answer from your heart ;) and dont even try to deny it, I know you love me ;) we'll go to the back room after the show ;)

Damon: Fine. But will do this every chapter. It's too much for me. Go Alice.

Alice: Why are you so possessives of Chia pet?

Damon: *Smiles* Because she's my favorite pet

Alice: You're lying. You're jealous Salvatore.

Damon: *Smiles and twitch* I really Happy you're here.

Alice: Truth only please.

Damon: *Rolls eyes* Fine. I like her. Now let her go.

Alice: Aren't you happy.

Kendra: I'm watching you.

As a box of cooked clams.

Berenice: Stefan, *tackles him and kisses him deeply* How's your dare going? Wanna try my vein? *flashes neck* I love you :)

Stefan: *Sighs* I miss the bunnies.

Dean, did you enjoy Pam? No, go try Sookie and Eric in the back room ;) 

Dean: Yeah, Eric and Sookie let's go in the back room.

Sam and Cass, What's the deal with you two guys? Dean, show them some love.

Dean: You two also. Let's go have some fun.

Pam, you're awesome. give chi some action ;)

Pam: *Grabs me* Let's play kitty.

*Blushes*

Seth: Forgotten again.

Wolverine: Same here.

Breakfastclub85 says Cas, Super long hug time!

Breakfast: *Hugs Castiel*

Castiel: *Looks at Dean*

Dean: It's just a long hug.

Edward, I saw your face on a poster and I almost passed out from horror/disgust.

Edward: And I saw yours. I died again!

Sam: Chi, Where did the idea for the show come from?

I have no idea. It usually comes from a word or a song and it grows from there

Breakfast: Dean, I love you! *kisses passionately* Just thought I'd let ya know!

Dean: *Blushes* Thanks.

xXspoiiledheartXx says, Chi- I would be happy to kill bob, I know a dog that loves tofu, but there's one condition let me kill that sparkly bitch-ass vampire because I see he learned nothing.

Edward: Bring it on midget!

Edward & Bob, I'm coming after you be afraid.

Edward: Cows scare us more then you.

Bob: I'll eat half you soul and stick the other half in the freezer! *Evil laugh*

AG20 asks, Damon, I want a lap dance too! Can I please get oneeee? *blushes*

Damon: It has to say I dare you.

Brat.

Damon: Shut up.

Can I come in the show and hurt Edward for a while? I think the back room could be used for other purposes * pulls out stakes, chains and a saw and winks* Okay.

Edward: *Screams*

*Turns around slowly* Fan girl attack.

Edward: *Runs away*

Damon: *Sighs*

Louis: It's kind of funny.

Damon: Until you get shot.

Louis: It's not that bad.

Damon: Says you!

Sam and dean, would you mind coming in the backroom with me after im done with sparkly loser? I promise I wont do anything that hurts.. A lot *bites lower lip*

Dean: Okay.

Sam: As long as Cass isn't there.

Castiel: When will you die?

Sam: Never you bastard.

Chi, can you please Bring Alice in the show? Please?

Alice: Hi! Hope you treat me nice or I'll hurt you good.

I'm in love.

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

OW! *Holds head* Let me have my moment! Rogue Assasin…

Rogue: Awww but Eddie I LOVE terrorizing you - if you want me to stop you're going to have to give me Bella so I can torture her... slowly ... but till then you'll do.

Edward: You'll never get her! Never ever!

Rogue: I think Damon and Stefan's torture ties - seeing as Bella isn't here we'll have to go with Stef's option.*Rogue brings out huge shaving knife* come here Edward time to bid those sparkles goodbye - hold him down Stefan - Damon get the camera!

*Stefan and Damon disappear behind Rogue with Edward screaming like a little girl to the dungeon*

So that was fun - Chi I'm waiting for my X-MEN... Okay!

Wolvererine: Do I have to kill someone to be noticed!

Kill Bob.

Wolvererine: Fine: *Extract claws*

Bob: *Screams*

Damon would you have been happier if I invited you with Charity to join me and Pam... think you can handle 3 freaky chicks at the same time? Yes? We'll prove that theory after the show.

Damon: I know I can handle you all.

Sookie you're my favorite vampire girl - you know how to kick ass and don't need to be constantly saved so Sookie if you had to brand Eric so no woman or man other than you would touch him where would you brand him? *Hands Sookie branding iron*

Sookie: Over his heart.

Eric: *Takes off his shirt*

*Closes eyes*

Sookie: *Placed the branding iron on his chest and hears it sizzles*

Eric: Ah!

Jacob: Am I the only one turned on by this?

Rogue: Dean I know how we can resolve this thing between Cas and Sam - let's have them mud wrestle... naked! Chi get the popcorn!

Yes! *Goes get popcorn*

Stef what would you do if Bella and Sam were the last two people on Earth?

Stefan: Ask Sam to help kill Bella.

Rogue: Oh Pam * throws furry handcuffs at Pam* it's your turn.

Pam: *Smirks* Alright hon.

Rogue:*Rogue makes out with Charity and gropes her while Eric holds back Damon*

*Faints*

Damon: Let me go Eric!

Awww Big D don't get so angry here *Rogue slips Damon some tongue and gropes him* Better?

Damon: Not really.

Me and Pam will see you and Charity after the show - and Damon make her wear something... interesting...

*Peps up* Huh?

Damon: *Smirks* Fine.

Sookie: Cherise Brooklyn asked Charity, can you do a thing where everyone does like a face-off with the actors who play him... etc, Damon vs. Ian Somerhalder, Eric vs. Alexander Skarsgard, Jack vs. Johnny Depp, ect.

Okay. That sounds like fun.

What ever happened to Louis and Lestat? They aren't here anymore :(

Lestat: We were just taking a break.

Louis: Yes. But I still don't want to be here.

And Stefan and Damon, you're hot :3 And Seth, you make werewolves sexy again

Stefan & Damon: Thanks.

Seth: I know. Thanks.

Dbz roxs says I wanna have some fun with them too! Can I go into the backroom with Damon? We'll have so much fun together!

Damon: *Smirk* Hope you can handle me.

Vampirewithasecret says Damon, I love you too day-day.

Damon: Good.

LeLelurvsGlee asked Dean, Ok so dean does it make you seem more important than you  
already are because Castiel and Sam are fighting over you?

Dean: *Shrugs* I guess.

And Jack I got you a present.(its cases of booze).

Jack: Everyone ready for the Sparrow Dance.

Everyone: NO!

LeLe: Yes!

Bob I dare you not to be creepy for the whole show.

Bob: I dare you not to not to breath and annoy me

Someone's cranky.

Bob: *Stares at me*

Oooh and Damon will you die?

Damon: Will you go away like forever? Soulless demon.

Anneryn7 asks Stefan, So…does this have to be a threesome? Just curious.

Stefan: It doesn't have to be.

Anneryn: *Hugs Stefan and whispers somethin gin his ear*

Sam: Chi, So I was thinking that you might need a sidekick. But no one came to mind, so here's a taser gun to help keep everyone in line.

Anneryn: *Hugs* You're welcome.

Damon: *Takes the taser* No.

Give it back!

Damon: No!

Stefan, I'll be expecting you after the show.

Stefan: Okay.

Burntcinnamon asks Damon…

Burntcinnamon: Damon will you take me to the back room?

Damon: Alright.

Burntcinnamon: *Drags Damon to the backroom*

1 hour later.

Burntcinnamon: Why won't yo admit your feeling for Chi? And if you smack her on the head again, Damon, I will come after you with a knife even if I love you

Damon: I admit I like the little midget. What more do you want from me. She should be happy.

Alice: *Smiles* Why don't you come to my house and we can have a sleepover!

*Blushes* Really?

Damon: *Slaps me on the back of my head*

OW!

Damon: She just does stupid stuff.

Dean: ..son says Hello kitten. Quick question. Why did you choose the name kazumixheartless specifically for you?

I love kingdom heart and I liked the heartless. Kazumi was a name that I used to sign my art years ago when I drew. So I came up with kazumixheartless like last year or maybe it was longer. It fits me perfectly no?

Jack: Your too adorable to be a heartless.

I like being called the heartless.

Damon: We don't care.

Stefan: Your too nice. Well to me.

But I like you.

Damon: *Twitch*

*Gulps* The show is over! I want to thank pawprint25, FutureActressKS, SouthernHemmy, VampirePrincess113, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Layla55, BereniceAndrea, Breakfastclub85, xXspoiiledheartXx, Ag20, Rogue Assasin, Cherise Brooklyn, dbz rox, Vampirewithasecret, LeLelurvsGlee, Anneryn7, burntcinnmon, and ..son for reviews and questions. Peace, love and chocolate you guys!

Damon: Let's go. *Grabs my arm*

Where?

Damon: Let's find a good outfit for you.

O.O SAVE ME! SOMEONE TAKE MY PLACE!

Alice: Call me tonight.

Damon: I kinda doubt that. *Evil smile*

COME ON FAN GIRLS UNTIED! YOU CAN HAVE HIM! I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO STAND TOMORROW! *Cries*

Wolverine: Weird people.

Zero: You a vamp?

Wolverine: That sounded like a threat.

Zero: *Smirk*

Dean: Sorry, we're late!


	48. Barney is what?

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Alejandro?

Damon: Why is everything black and white?

Stefan: *Shrugs*

Lady Gaga: I know you may love me…*Pulls on Stefan's arm* But I can't be with you anymore…Alejandro.

Stefan: Huh? What?

Music plays. Guys start dancing.

Damon: The fuck is this shit?

Lady: She got both hands in her pocket…

Damon: We don't care where she put her hands! What's up with the dancing, half naked, gay Hitlers! *Points to the dancers*

Lady Gaga: And she won't look at you, won't look at you.

Stefan: I'm getting hives.

Lady Gaga: She true love to…

Damon: How the hell are you?

Lady Gaga: Don't call my name, don't call my name.

Damon: We don't care.

Stefan: Let me go.

Lady Gaga: Roberto!

Stefan & Damon: What?

Lady Gaga: Fernando.

Damon: *Grabs a bat* I'm done…die. *A dancer steals the bat*

Lady Gaga: Tie them up boys.

Damon: Huh!

*Dancers tied them up*

Stefan: It's not going to stop us.

Lady Gaga: This revenge Damon.

Damon: How…THE HELL YOU KNOW MY NAME!

Stefan: NO! Damon I thought Heart-Broken killed him!

Lady Gaga: *Pulls off her head*

Stefan & Damon: O.O FUCK!

Lady Gaga/Barney: I told you I would be back.

Damon: What are you? The devil!

Barney: I want you to love you and you to love me.

Stefan: Damon did it!

Damon: Tattle tale.

Barney: I'm going to let the guys have their way with you until your more open.

Damon: Like those bastards can stop me.

Barney: I doubt that Damon. *Snaps* Get them my little monsters!

Stefan: I knew something was wrong with her.

Damon: At least you didn't dance to her…him…It. Fuckin Pedosaurs!

Barney: *Leaves the room and laughs evilly*

Damon: You touch me you die!

Dancer 1: I want the Edward look alike. I just want to hear him scream.

Dancer 2: I'll take the bitchy one. *Licks lips*

Stefan: It's going to be a long day.

2 hours later.

Barney: *Walks back into the room and eyes widen with shock* H-How?

Damon: I'm a vamp, duh!

Stefan: If I wasn't going to take it from Lestat then why would I let it happen to me here? Again stick to kids.

Damon: *Smirks* You're dead.

Barney: *Backs up to the wall* You think that I didn't think ahead then your wrong!

Damon: Damn.

Raven: Hello Damon Fartface!

Damon: *Twitch* These are the reasons why I hate kids.

Stefan: *Gets into a fighting stance* Complain later Foamy.

Damon: I'm not a squirrel with anger issues.

Stefan: Can't tell.

Barney: Get them my little, little monsters.

30 minutes later.

Barney: WHY!

Damon: Like I'm going to let that shit happen again.

Stefan: *Smiles* We went easy on them…unlike you.

Barney: You'll never catch me! Never! Never! *Throws a smoke bomb*

Damon: Damn it he got away! *Watches the smoke clear*

Stefan: He'll come back. He has a grudge on you after all.

* * *

So Barney was really Lady Gaga? I knew she was weird but being her. Talk about over the top.

Stefan: Yeah…why are you wearing bunnies ears and a tail.

*Points to Damon* Someone gave him the great idea of dressing me up. Like a Barbie.

Damon: I was nice…today. Besides I tore the other one last night.

True. But my butt still hurts!

Stefan: *Twitch* I don't want to know.

Damon: I was being nice.

Right…and the whip was like rainin kisses.

Damon: Again, really reading to deep into this stuff.

*Rolls eyes* So Dean, how's the Sam and Cas thing?

Dean: Why don't you see for yourselves? *Points to them*

Sam: Go to heaven!

Castiel: Go away.

Sam: Dean is mine! I knew him longer!

Castiel: Insec is really frowned upon you know.

Sam: UP YOURS! *Tackles Cas*

*Shakes head* Why can we all be friends?

Alice: Yeah.

Alice! I would run to hug you be I'm so what hurt.

Alice: *Laughs* Yeah. I heard Damon could be rough.

Damon: I don't like you. When will you die?

Alice: *Smiles* I'll be sure to die soon so I can take you with me, you emo whiney bitch.

Edward: Hi Alice.

Alice: Wow your not dead yet. Good job! *Thumbs up*

Wolverine: That bastard is hard to kill.

Bob: You'll never kill me! I'll keep coming!

Wolverine: Then I'll have to keep killing you.

Lestat: Surprise butt sex?

Stefan: *Walks away* Leave me alone!

Sookie: Weird as always.

Eric: …Yep.

Pam: I'm here, I'm some what queer, get use to it.

Louis: I wonder who's better in bed?

Jacob: I can find out.

Seth: *Takes off shirt* Why is it hot in here?

Zero: All vamps will die!

I guess everyone is a counted for. Let's start the show!...Crap…where's Jack?

Jack: I'm right here love.

*Looks around* Oh my GOD HE'S INVISBLE!

Jack: No love. Look up.

*Looks up* H-How?

Jack: Rum is a hell of a drink.

Oookay. Well let's get the show started FutureActressKS says to Damon I'm weird, who here isn't weird? I remember an episode of you saying that hot comes weird. Note, who isn't weird? Normal is boring.

FutureActress: *Tosses his shirt back at him from yesterday and hands him a metal baseball bat* Hit Eddie there 100 times for me. *Kisses him straight on the mouth* You are way too sexy! It should be a crime!

Damon: *Waves the bat in the air* Come on shiny piñata! Let's see if there's any candy.

Edward: Stay away from me. *Runs*

Damon: Stop running. If you go into the sun you'll shiny and people will confuse you for a fairy.

Edward: Stop bashing me. Twilight bashers are stupid and act like little kids.

Damon: *Rolls eyes* I'm not a Twilight basher…I'm a Twilight hater. Duh.

Edward: Well Vampire Diaries is retarded. Let that Elena chick die already, and you turned human so ha!

Damon: I'm not human now…so you're screwed. *Hits Edward* Next time run while you talking. *Hits him again*

Heart-Broken-In-Love said to me, I would love to take your place it seems so awesome!

Dean: Let her try for a few days.

You can take my place any time.

Sam: Thank you for letting me attack Stefan again it is so fun!

Stefan: *Twitch* Go away. I don't like you.

Heart-Broken: *Throws vervain all over him while stabbing him with a stake* You suck! I will kill you now!

Stefan: *Growls* Stop…stabbing…ME!

Heart-Broken: *Kicks him in the head* If you won't die now then I'll just keep torturing you until you do bitch!

Stefan: Why do you hate me! What the hell do I ever do to you!

Heart-Broken: Cause you're a bitch.

Quoted by Riley Freeman from Boondocks. Seth can she get a lap dance?

Seth: Okay.

Heart-Broken: *Sits in a chair and squeals*

Stefan: She squeals.

Heart-Broken: Death will befall you!

Let's not piss her off…again. *Clicks the remote and makes the music plays*

Seth: *Starts dancing on her lap*

Alice: Whoo! Take it off!

Seth: *Starts take his pants*

Yay!

Damon: Chi.

Ooohh!

Heart-Broken: *Drags him to the backroom*

Bob, I know how to kill you. If your tofu the way to kill you is to eat you. So who wants to eats Bob and get his disease? I say Stefan does!

Stefan: No.

Bob: I'll come out your poo hole and I'll still be alive. In your body…in your soul!

Heart-Broken: …Ew! Edward your comment on how 'Was your mom' Actually fag she wasn't but she was on drugs. *Note Sarcasm* *Rolls eyes*.

Edward: Still think your mom would do me.

Heart-Broken: Zero, here's a light. Let's see what it does to Edward.

Zero: *Smirks* Let's see sparkly burn.

Edward: Stay away from me! You evil bastard!

Anneryn7 says to Stefan…

Anneryn: Last night was amazing! *Kiss, kiss* *Hands him a bunny with a house key tied loosely around the collar*

Stefan: Alright. *winks*

Wolverine, Honey you are GORGEOUS! You and Gambit need to come into the backroom with me, pronto. We're gonna be here awhile.

Wolverine: Can you even handle me?

Anneryn: I know I can. *Grabs and drags him to the backroom*

Dean: Chi, I nominate Alice as your sidekick. And here is a collar for Damon, so he behaves himself…somewhat. *Smirks*

Damon: I really doubt that.

*Gasp* DAMON OH MY GOD ERIC IS NAKED AND IS BEHIDE YOU!

Damon: *Turns around* NO MEANS NO!

*Puts the collar on him*

Damon: *Turns back to me* What did you just do?

Nothing….just acting like a rabbit. *Jumps up and down* Boing, Boing.

Damon: Get…THIS DAMN THING OFF ME! *Slaps me up side my head*

Ow! *Presses the button*

Damon: *Gets shocked*

Yay! I have a weapon now!

Damon: You're a dead kid.

*Presses the button*

Damon: *Growls*

I have one up on you! Finally!

Damon: Watch your back Chi. I promise I'm going to get you back for this.

Damon, Don't worry I still love you, But my loyalties with Chi, no matter how smexy you are. Haha Damon.

Damon: *Pulls on my bunny ear* I will not be able to even sit up right tomorrow*

STOP THREATING ME WITH SEX!

Damon: *Smirks* It works don't it.

…Cherise Brooklyn asks me, Charity could it be possible for me to take your place sometimes? SAVE ME! YES! TAKE MY PLACE!

Cherise: And for my first order of business, Damon…*drags him to a dressing room*

Hey! Don't mess up the clothes in there!

Alice: You're worried about clothes?

I pretty much just block everything else out. *Nods*

Alice: *Nods*

Cherise: O, damn. You're good.

Damon: Did you expect anything less? *Smirk*

Cherise: Nope. *Damon pushes her into the corner and we make out*

Alice: Still in your little world.

Huh? I feel no jealously…Shota. Yes, me and Alice can share you. *Squeal*

Alice: Yep.

Edward, your mom as a comeback, really? That's something my baby sister would say!

Edward: I could say whatever I want…Your mother…Your father…Your bald head grandma!

That's kinda corny. Lestat, can you rape Edward until he cries?

Lestat: Yeah right. I want Stefan not some…shiny fairy. No offense but my dick doesn't like shiny crap on it.

Edward: Haha. Like I want you to rape me.

Jacob and Seth, does it make you feel self-conscious to walk around half-naked?

Jacob: Not really.

Seth: Nope. I know I'm hot.

Stefan, kiss, kill, or have sex? Bella, Lindsay Lohan, Miley Cyrus? And if you and Bell were the last two living people on the earth, what would you do?

Stefan: Kiss Bella because I can get it over with, have sex with Lindsay as long as she had a bag on her head and kill the demon they call Miley. And if me and Bella were the only ones left, I'll fuck her….as long as she has a bag on here head and doesn't talk.

Louis, I feel bad that we all leave you out…

Cherise: *Kisses him* And a genie lamp thing to do whatever you want.

Louis: I wish Zero was naked.

Zero: …THE HELL. *Covers his naked body*

*Fans Self* Hot.

And if Bella is even on the show, why are you so damn depressing? You're a bigger buzzkill than buzz Killington! *Bella stands there emotionless and moves her lower lips*

Bella: Uh…Uh…Uh….Your mom! *Walks away zombie-like*

How did she get in here?

Sookie: Seems like someone left the door open.

Jack: Sorry bout that love but I got good news!

Is it booze?

Jack: No.

O.O, really?

Jack: *Holds a carrot* Here bunny love.

*Twitch* I hate you.

Jack: You love it.

*Takes the carrot* Stefan you try to eat me…I just hope I'll give you heart burn.

Stefan: *Smirk* I can't promise you that but I can promise that you'll like it.

…You traded places with Damon did you?

Stefan: *Laughs* It felt good to say what's on my mind.

Alice: We just found out that Stefan is just as a pervert as his brother. Great.

NykkiLeighVampireHeart, asked if she could take Jacob in the backroom and Damon too.

Damon: *Twitch* No way in hell. So there.

Jacob: I would.

Nykki: I LOVE YOU JACK! *Gives him a bottle of rum*

Jack: I love it *Takes the bottle and drinks all of it*

O.O What…a…pro.

Sam: Is Damon into sadomasochism? Are you?

Yep Damon is but I'm not.

Damon: She's an M.

No.

Damon: Just the thought about me pulling your hair doesn't turn you on?

…Leave me alone!

Damon: But you don't deny it.

Damon! Quit slapping Chi…at least until after the show. I thought you loved me!

Damon: It's fun to mess with you.

*Screams in frusation and storms off*

Damon: You look cute when you're mad.

*Presses the button* You thought I forgot about the collar. Bastard.

Damon: I'll push you down the stairs!

Bring it on!

Damon: *Creaks his neck* I hope you know what you're doing, kid.

Nope. *Runs away*

Damon: *Runs after me*

Alice: Give us ten minutes…

LET ME GO!

Damon: YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!

Alice: An hour folks. *Smiles*

* * *

You have no soul.

Damon: *Stretches out* I went easy…somewhat.

I can't even sit.

Damon: That's the main reason.

xXspoiiledheartXx asked me, you should let me be in the next couple of chapters so I can help you out little *Whispers* and kill Edward and Bob. You up for it?

Edward: Bring it brat!

Bob: Eat me!

Vampirewithasecret, Hey! Chi I will be your sidekick! But meanwhile, Damon, I just hate you…It's as simple as that.

Damon: You know you want to ride me.

Who hasn't ridden you?

Damon: Look who's talking.

Hey…*Blushes* Shut up!

MinaFTW, just saw the previews for Vampire Suck. I loved the wolf pack dance scene. Make Jacob and Seth dance to raining men. You ready guys! One…Two…Three!

*Music plays*

Seth & Jacob: *Shake there butts then kick high in the air*

Men in booty shorts. Really hot even though their gay.

Seth: I'm not gay. *slaps his butt*

Jacob: I'm on the fence. *Places his hands on his hips*

I wanna see the movie too but I'm too worried that it will be stupid because they did Meet the Spartan movie and it sucked. Let's get hope I'm wrong.

Dean: Rogue Assasin says to Alice, Go sit in the corner with Bob and Eddie, and no your freaky power won't work on me, I'm a mutant, one that can kill you.

Alice: I've seen you and I'm not trying to make you my enemy but that being said I will hurt you if you come after me. *Smiles* You don't know that much about me do you? But I hope can be friends.

She doesn't like twilight vamps.

Alice: I can see Edward but what I do?

*Shrugs* Your pretty.

Alice: *Hugs me* Thanks Chi. *Smirks at Damon*

Damon: *twitch* You want to fight.

Alice: Bring it Damon.

Wolvy! Thank you so much for bringing him Chi. I love him not as mach as Gambit but still.

Wolverine: Ouch.

*Throne appears wolverine sits on a throne and Rogue sits on his lap*

Rogue: Relax Big D, Alice won't get freaky with Chi, the Cullen's don't believe in homosexuality and all that. Start worrying if Alice has a sex change, start watching Chi sleep with Bob…

WHAT!

Rogue: And proposes marriage. Chi do you really wanna be Bella part 2?

Wait! How did I get into this! What did I do to become a Bella 2! *Cries in a corner* NOOOOOOO!

Rogue: *Rolls eyes*

Alice: If Edward can be OOC than so can I and Damon…*Smirk* You just got yourself a rival.

O/./O I think I scared myself.

Eddie come here and lick your master's toes…

Edward: Ew!

Do you know where his mouth might have been?

Louis: On my balls!

Me & Edward: O.O

Edward: THE FUCK!

Rogue: If you don't I'll give Damon that big black box over there. I'd listen to me if I were you. Meyer is in that box and if I give Damon that box he'll compel her to write gay stories about you and Jacob Black or maybe you and Seth...

Seth: Pfft. Leave me out of it.

Jacob: I might like it…a little.

Edward: YOU EVIL WHORE! *cries in the corner*

Rogue: Now for you Tofu Bob. I have a frying pan and a nice little stir fry sizzling up in it , all I need is tofu... Wolvy would you be nice enough to slice up Bob?

Wolverine: *Smirks and brings the claws out* No problem. *Wolverine chases Bob with his claws*

Rogue: Awww Damon told you that you couldn't handle all 3 of us that's why you're in a wheelchair and Chi I dare you to wear Damon's interesting outfit for the next show.

I'm wearing it right now!

Bunny ears and tail. Pink small shirt and small shorts.

I feel like a whore! *Cries* A PINK WHORE!

Stefan: *Pats my head* It's alright. Everyone still loves you.

I FEEL LIKE THERE WHORE!

Damon: Cause you are.

Yeah. Thanks for making me feel better.

Rogue: Sam and Castiel I am still waiting for the 2 of you to mud wrestle naked, winner gets exclusive rights to Dean and gets to brand their name on his ass, Chi you can be referee and I'll just sit here on Wolverine's lap - HEAVEN.

Yay!

Sam: I hugged him. That's enough touching for me.

Oh no! Dean's in Mud!

Sam: *Jumps into a pool full of mud*

Castiel: *Jumps into the mud and knocks Sam out of the way*

Sam: YOU BASTARD! *Pushes him back*

Castiel: *Tackles Sam*

They start fighting. Then clothes rip off.

*Holds a camera* Hot. Very.

Dean: Why my ass?

Goldie 25: *stares at Bob for a good 10 minutes then looks at me* You know, I don't mind taking your place for a chapter Chi-a-pet :)

Please!

Goldie 25: I can handle Damon. He's like a pussy cat 3.

Damon: Pfft you wish.

The collar didn't work.

Damon: I'M NOT A DOG!

*Laughs*

Damon: *twitch* You're not that innocent yourself.

I know but I own up to this so ha!

BeatrixMayfeir says By the way, can I come on your show please? Yeah sure…*Gets tackled and get a kiss and a hug*

BeatrixMayfeir: *Grabs Damon and kissed him passionately then grabs Cas and Dean to the backroom*

She has Rum for Jack and a new gun for you Zero.

Jack: Your alright in my books puppet.

Zero: Thanks. *Shoots Edward in the knee cap*

Edward: OW! *Holds his knee* What the hell was that for?

Zero: Stop breathing.

BeatrixMayfeir: Sam, I hate you and I will never forgive you! It's all your fault that Dean had to spend 40 years in hell and you even trusted Ruby over him! I know that you were jealous of Cas but that was really bad! Bad Sam! And Cas I really love you for bring Dean back, you are my hero! Love you Chi and sorry for my whining but I needed to let out my anger.

Let it all out. Don't mind at all.

Sam: I don't really care. *Shrugs* Sorry.

BereniceAndrea says I WANT DAMON! I WANT HIM! CHI, GOTTA SHARE! :D

You can have him….away from me.

Damon: Your lying, ho-ney.

He's harassing me again!

Berenice: Aww Stefan, *tackles you and kisses you* Here, *hands you the fattest bunny you've ever seen* enjoy :D

Stefan: Thanks. It's nice to have a fan and not a crazed psycho trying to kill you every show.

Damon: Then stop pissing her off.

Stefan: What did I do!

Seth, I not that I forget about you, we just, cant be friends, im so sorry cause I really like you, but you hate Damon, and I love him. I have to take sides and im a Damon fangirl :D *drags Damon to the back room* :D

Seth: Hey. No skin off my bones.

Sam and Cass I saw a youtube video of you two hugging and stuff yesterday... so, who held the camera again?

Sam: Chi.

I couldn't help myself.

Castiel: I attacked him not hug him!

Doesn't look like it from where I'm seeing it. Dean, show them some love ;)

Dean: *Drags Castiel and Sam to the back room* Let's go solve some problems boys.

Louis and Lestat SO HAPPY YOU GUYS ARE BACK! MISSED YOU :D

Louis: I'm happy to be here.

Lestat: Come on Stefan, sit on my lap.

Stefan: NO!

Wolverine, I LOVEEEE YOUUUUU :D I love you soooooo much , I didn't know you were coming to the show :D I can die happy now, *hugs you*

Wolverine: Okay.

Bob you creep me out.

Bob: Yeah! And I hope you chock on a lettuce!

Chi, watch your back ;) love you girl! Huh? For what?. Fan girls?

Berenice: Eddie, *throws you into a fire* DIE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Edward: *Runs and trys to pat the fire out* WHY!

Breakfastclub85 says Alice Super long hug time!

Alice: Okay.

Breakfastclub: *Hugs Alice*

Louis, You're kind of a downer.  
Louis: Good for you to notice. Now go away.

Dean, How do you deal with Sam being a damsel in distress?

Dean: *Breathlessly* Well…he is a bottom.

Sam: Hey!

Stefan, I feel for you. I have a crazy ass older sibling too.

Stefan: They kill people too.

Damon: I'm not like you St. Stefan!

Stefan: Yeah. I really don't care.

LeLelurvsGlee says Ok so Damon I'm writing a fanfic about you. It's gonna be called "How to Torture Damon Salvatore."

Damon: Yeah and I'm going to be writing one called "How to cook a LeLe." I hope you like being over an open flame.

Sam And Castiel you two shouldn't fight although I'm rooting for Sam.

Sam: Thanks. See I have more fans than you!

Castiel: Go find your real dad! Opps!

Sam: *Tackles Castiel*

LeLe: Jack how about we go ad get some booze*hands you a bottle of jack*? Edward guess what. I kidnapped Bella and your not getting her back unless you do whatever someone tells you to do.

Jack: Yay! More booze!

LeLe: Chi I recently started liking tofu. So can you bring me on so me and bob can spend some time together?

You sure you want to eat him?

Bob: I'll Chuck Norris you stomach!

Burntcinnmon: I'll have him! I hart Damon but he hit u on the head! Damon, u didn't listen to me! You hit Chi! *pulls out a bunch of chains and a stake jumps on Damon's back and chains him to the wall and pushes the stake into his shoulder while sobbing because she hurt Damon!*

Damon: *Twitch* What the hell are u doing?

Burntcinnmon: You know what I'm doing! You hit chi again and you are being mean! :(

Jack: Are you sure you don't have any other motives?

Burntcinnmon:*blushes* Erm, well...*Mumbles something under her breath*

Edward: Spit it out!

Burntcinnmon: Shut up, sparkle ass! Good make up sex! There I said it!

Dean: Wow.

Bob: I will watch! * laughs evilly*

Eric: Will some one please kill him? Now!

Castiel: Oh yes! Chi, please can you give us some weapons!

Chi: I don't know!

Jack: What can we do so that you give us weapons love?

Eric: Maybe, * moves closer and smirks * We can strip in front of Chi!

Chi:*blushes* O-Kay! * grins happily*

Damon: No! Chi, if you don't give us weapons, I WILL make sure you can't stand up tomorrow!

Chi: *squeaks and faints*

Edward: Maybe we should help her up?

Stefan: Actually, she looks pretty happy

Damon: * winks at crowd of fangirls who are shaking Chi and telling her to wake up* I, Damon Salvatore have that effect on women!

*Crowd of fangirls scream and faint* in happiness

Jack - wow, all the fangirls and chi have fainted. Oh, I know. Why don't I see if any of them have rum in their pockets? * lumbers off drunkly to look in all of our pockets and purses*

Stefan: *laughs* Well since Chi is in an Damon induced faint, and all the other fans are too, I think we should end the show. We like to thank FurtureActressKS, Heart-Broken-In-Love, anneryn7, dbz rox, Cherise Brooklyn, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, xXspoiiledheartXx, Vampirewithasecret, MinaFTW, Rogue Assasin, Goldie 25, BeatrixMayfeir, BereniceAndrea, Breakfastclub85, LeLelurvsGlee, and burntcinnmon for reviews and questions.

Castiel: Peace!

Dean: Love!

Jack: And Rum!


	49. Break time!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Break Time!

I'm tired of you abuse Damon and I'm not going to take it any….you're not Damon.

Ash: Yeah. The hair color is way different.

Yeah…who are you?

Ash: You're kidding me.

Damon: This is from the person who didn't read Night World.

But in my…*Gets slapped in the back head*

Ash: You can read this losers book but you can't read my little story.

Crap! It's another one of them.

Sam: *Sighs*

Lestat: I like that.

We're going to start early because I have to be somewhere…like away from here. Damon has been torturing me…again.

Damon: *Smirk* You look so cute kitty.

I do nor. JACK STOP PETTING ME!

Jack: Your fur is so soft. *Petting my head*

I really hate you…Please don't eat me Stefan.

Stefan: I still can't promise that Chi.

Damon: Stop.

Stefan: What?

Damon: You touch her you die.

Alice: Coming from the whore.

Damon: Shut up reject.

Alice: *Glares at him* Just die. *Smiles*

*Nervous laugh* Okay. Well dbz roxs said Lol great chapter like always :) Hey Jack I'm taking all your booze away for the rest of the show! You have to survive without it now! But you get it back at the end, maybe.

Jack: *Cries* NOT THE BOOZE! ANYTHING BUT THE BOOZE!

You'll have booze soon. And Damon, I recently posted a fic called "Damon VS Edward: Who is Hotter" and guess what? You are winning by 8 votes, and Edward only has 2! Shows how much people care for him!

Damon: I could have told you that.

Edward: Yeah. People love me. So vote for me.

Damon: You suck! Without fangs.

Ash: You call yourself a vampire and not have fangs. You would think I would have seen everything but…I'm just going to kill you.

Stefan, don't eat Chi just because she looks like a bunny! No eating me.

Stefan: No promises.

Oh and Chi, can I come in and shock Damon with the collar please? *Hands dbz the remote and smirks evilly* Go nuts.

Damon: Damn I forgot to take it off!

DBZ: *Presses the button*

Damon: You'll die if you…*Get's shocked*

Dbz: This is so much fun. *Presses button again*

Damon: I hate you!

*Holds nose* I smell bacon.

Damon: I hate you the most Chi. Revenge will be swift.

Just stand there and look pretty.

Damon: *Smirk* Tomorrows outfit is going to be more…revealing.

O.O No!

Damon: You're too weak Charity. How can you think that you could go against the master?

….Jerk! *Walks away*

Castiel: Fun messing with her?

Damon: It brightens up my day.

Dean: Heart-Broken-In-Love asked can I take your place some next chapter?

Please! I want to be away from Damon and his evilness.

Damon: *Smirks*

Dean: I wore that outfit you described for Halloween. I loved that out fit have it hanging in my closet *completely serious* It's not...Well yeah it is a whore out fit.

Damon: I have good taste.

Ash: You sure we were created by the same person?

Damon: You trying to tell me something?

Ash: Yeah. Go die in a ditch. 

Sam: Noooo why is Barney still alive! Why won't that SOB die! This is in need of an intervention badly!

So true. Seth, you are just completely awesome! Would you please imprint on me?

Seth: I don't even think that is possible.

Heart-Broken: *Drags him to backroom again*

Bob, If you were to take over someone's soul if they ate you what exactly would happen?

Bob: They would die and I take over there body….Eat me Chi!

No! I don't like tofu!

Bob: *Grabs my mouth and trys to force it open* Eat me!

Stefan & Dean: *Kicks him*

Thanks…guys.

Stefan: No prob.

Heart-Broken: *Picks Bob up and shoves him down his throat* I said yes you do eat Bob!

Stefan: *Spits him out* I have no soul!

Heart-Broken: Right. *Cracks a bottle of whiskey on tabled and lunges it through Stefan's chest twisting it and then stabs a syringe full of vervain in Stefan's heart*

Stefan: See…this will be the reason I turn gay.

Lestat: Yes!

Stefan: I really take that back.

Heart-Broken: Everyone, how would you like to torture Stefan? Do what you said!

Damon: Stab him in his eyes and let Lestat skull fuck him.

Lestat: We can go with that plan.

O.O. I'm not going to be taking a part of this.

Stefan: I hope you burn in hell.

Damon: My soul is already there.

LeLelurvsGlee says Chi on second thought I don't want bob. Who does?

LeLe: Jack: You. me. backroom. booze. 

Jack: *Runs to the backroom*

Sookie, how do you stay sane?

Sookie: I just pretend not to be on here. It works.

Damon, Fuck off!

Damon: Like I told your mother.

LeLe: *Takes the remote and presses the button*

Damon: Damn! *Shock*

The remote always make things better. *Smiley face*

LeLe: Zero I have a rifle. Wanna take out eddy?

Zero: *Smirks* I'm going to go World War 3 on you ass.

Edward: Leave me alone!

And the lady gaga as Barney part was hilar. Lmaoo. Yeah, I had no idea what as going on.

Damon: I almost got raped. Again. Not cool.

Ash: Sucks for you.

Damon: *Growls*

BroadwayAngelLyric says Jack, I'm writing a one-shot where me and you go get drunk with Ke$ha so what's your favorite type of booze?

Jack: RUM!

Damon, tell those fangirls to stop making you say sappy stuff. You're supposed to be badass. It's law. We sure as hell don't need another Stefan. Broody bitch ass Stefan. 

Damon: Thank you! You are the only who understands me. Fuck, You sevinatitve types go fuck your self!

Speaking of the loser, you accepted a bunny from a fan girl before your 7-day diet of Tru Blood and human food was over so as punishment, I'm adding another week onto the sentence.

Stefan: HEY! The bunnies are over there and unharmed. You said not to eat them…which is very, very hard.

Their so cute! *Picks up a bunny*

Alice: How many do you have?

Stefan: Twenty something.

Named them.

Stefan: I want to eat them, not keep them as pets.

Sookie, I feel for you, having to be the sane on the show so I bought you a gift certificate to go to the spa then to the store to get yourself something nice.

Sookie: I'm not going to be here next ep. I really need a break.

Chi, be nicer to Damon, please? And can I come in the story as a bartender? Growing reality stars need their booze. *Jaw drops*…I've always been nice to Damon. Do you see half the thing he do to me?

Damon: She doesn't care.

Oh. Yeah you can come.

Sam and Cas, why don't you just play a game to see who gets Dean? And strip poker is NOT an option.

Dean: Why not?

Sam: What kind of game?

Castiel: Rock, paper, scirrors?

Edward, how did your day at Fangtasia go?

Edward: It was cool.

Eric: He got raped by one of the vamps. They could have done better.

Edward: *Rolls eyes*

Eric and Pam, how did he REALLY do? You both are awesome by the way.

Eric: He was a good snack but they got sick of his emo ways.

Pam: Stefan would had made more money.

Zero, here's a gun. Edward's feet are glued to the ground. I'm gonna turn my head and whatever happens, happens.

Zero: *Shoots Edward in the head* There.

He'll just come back.

Zero: That's wouldn't be fun if he didn't.

Bob, Im thinking about going vegan since I see a piece of tofu that needs to be eaten. Any takers? *Holds fork, knife, spoon, and strip of bacon behind my back* What? You thought I was serious about being vegan. Ha. 

Bob: Bring it on!

Jacob, are you fully fruity or is there still hope for fangirls everywhere? Seth, if Jake doesn't straighten up, you're the man.

Jacob: I'm not that gay but I like being both. So yes there's hope.

Seth: I just want girls. All girls.

XOLittleGreenMonsterXO says hey, I love the story! it's soo funny! and I think that you should put Ash Redfern on it, cuz it'll be cool to see how Damon reacts to someone JUST LIKE HIM. i'm serious, they're like twins in personality. and if you want a girl, put Jez Redfern on it cuz I luv seeing her and Ash fight!

Damon: Like we need another one.

Ash: Go die!

Damon: Make me you bastard!

Ash: *growls* Let's go outside!

Damon: LET GO!

Ash: YEAH!

Yep. The same.

BeatrixMayfeir said Thank you Chi I loved to be on the show! Cas and Dean you are gods and we should do it again soon!

Dean: Alright.

Castiel: I don't mind.

Oh Chi don't you think that Cas could be the only one who can defeat Jack in a drinking contest? He had drunk a liquor store!

Castiel: Fine.

Jack: Alright.

After two hours later.

O.O Their still up!

Ash: It's disgusting.

Eric: I'm not that surprised.

Stefan: I put money on Castiel.

Damon: Jack for sure.

Jack: *Burps* You done?

Castiel: I'm just fine.

Let's get back because we just wasted an hour on them. I have a dare for Stefan: I dare you to let Lestat kiss you properly and you have to let us know if you enjoyed it even a little. If you succeed I will give you the biggest bunny you have ever seen!

Stefan: I fucking hate you.

Lestat: Don't be a sour puss. Pucker up.

It's a dare Stefan and a bunny for you collection. A big bunny.

Stefan: I really hate you but I'll do it…*Smirk* If you kiss me after.

O.O EPP!

Damon: What?

Stefan: Deal?

Damon: You nod I'll kill you.

Fine but only if you do it for ten seconds with Lestat.

Stefan: Fine.

Damon & Alice: Am I not here!

Alice: Back off Damon.

Damon: Go find some else's carpet to clean bitch.

Alice: Bring it on!

Lestat: Come on I don't have all day.

Stefan: *Gulps then leans in*

Lestat: *Smirks and grabs him*

Stefan: *Shocked look*

Lestat: *Kisses him and sticks his tongue in his mouth*

Stefan: *Screams*

One. Two. Three.

Sam: Four. Five. Six

Dean: Seven. Eight. Nine.

TEN!

Stefan: *Pushes Lestat off him and wipes his mouth* Ew! You sick fucking bastard!

Lestat: *Licks his lip* You taste so good.

Stefan: I did my part.

*Nods* Eric hold Damon and Pam hold Alice.

Alice: She might feel me up…not that I'm complaining.

Pam: *Smirks*

Okay. *Puckers up*

Stefan: *Pulls me and kisses me*

Damon: YOU'RE DEAD!

Louis: Stop being a baby Damon. You do that same thing all the time.

Damon: Stay out of it.

*Steps back breathlessly* Wow.

Stefan: Told you that he would flip out.

Damon: I'm not jealous of anything. Please tell me your junk is poking me in my butt Eric.

Eric: *Smirk*

Damon: EW! *Gets out of Eric's grip*

Stefan: *Laughs* All to the plan.

Yep. We really got you good. Sorry Alice.

Alice: No prob.

Beatrix: You are so sexy*kiss Lestat*!

Eh, Zero there's a sniper rifle for you with full metal jacket bullets: shoot Edward on the back of his head so his face will literally explode *evil smile*!

Zero: Tried but he keeps coming back.

Fire kills them.

Zero: Yeah. We tried that.

Beatrix: For the problem Bob: if you can't kill him you can lock him somewhere. My brother works with the marble and I can ask him to build a marble coffin and you can lock Bob in it and bury him alive. We can do the same with Lady Gaga/Barney when Damon will find him. I will put some spell on the coffin for safety! What do you think Chi? Better than a fridge like the one Sam and Dean used! If you like it can you send Damon and Cas to take the coffin, pretty please? A vampire and an angel...MMmmm... what a good threesome we can have! Thank you again *blow a kiss*! Sorry for my English I'm not that good with it I'm still learning lol.

Dean: Go get it and let me tape it.

Damon: I'm not doing anything with another guy.

…Do we really have to go a few chapters back. Remember me, you, and Stefan.

Stefan: I was drugged by Lestat.

Lestat: *Blows Stefan a kiss*

Stefan: *Shivers*

Cherise: Damon that was hot *kisses him on the lips* To everyone, who wants to kill Edward? *Gets a bunch of torture devices and burn Edward*

O.O How did you bring that in?

Cherise: Please don't worry about the details.

Ookay?

Cherise: Let's get him! *Chases Edward with a torch* Burn, bastard, burn!

*Whole bunch of fangirls chases him*

How did she bring an army?

Louis: Seems like one of the mysteries of life.

Scary. Breakfastclub 85 I'm so sad Chi! I'm going to be at camp from Monday til Thursday so I won't be able to read & review until I get back =[ It's alright we still love you!

Hannah: Dean *sits on lap, hugs him and puts head on his chest* I am never letting go. *sighs contently*

Dean: Okay.

Cas, Do you ever feel bad about using Jimmy as your human vessel?

Castiel: Not really.

Alice, I love your sense of style!

Alice: Thank you. *Smiles*

Jacob, Who would you go gay for?

Jacob: Louis. He's really good.

Louis, Your kind of a douche.

Louis: *Shrugs* Yep I know I am.

FutureActressKS says Damon, Can I have a lap dance? Please. *big puppy dog eyes*

Damon: Has to be a dare. 

Edward, I know I've already asked the Salvatore brothers to hit you several times, but *pulls out stake* If you want something right, you gotta do it yourself. *stabs and chases him around several times.*

Edward: *Screams*

Cherise: HEY! Don't take all the fun yourself!

Everyone, He'll be back...later. I really doubt that.

FutureActress: *sits down in chair* Come on Damon. I dare you.

It is a dare Damon.

Damon: Damn it. Fine. *Walks over the chair*

After lap dance if that happens. It did.

FutureActress: *hugs Damon for a really, really long time* I'm your biggest fan, even though I might have the rest of your fans on my hind. But still...you're my favorite.

Damon: Okay…you're killing me with your love.

FutureActress: *throws Jack a huge bottle of rum.* I don't have use for this so enjoy!

Jack: Thanks love. 

Bob, when are you going to die?

Bob: When you come with me.

Burntcinnmon pretty much wrote everything down.

Burntcinnmon: I'm back! Damon, I am SOOO sorry, I didn't want to hurt you! *starts crying again* But I KNOW what to do to make everybody happy! K, everybody, take one black box and one white box. In the black box there is a knife with a gold handle and a diamond blade, and in the white box there is a very large gun.

Sam: Where the hell did you get the money to buy a blade made out of diamond?

Burntcinnmon: Um, I kinda, well, you see, when Damon and I WERE in the backroom yesterday. I kinda stole his bankcard.

Damon: You motherfucking whore!

Stefan: Don't be so mean Damon, I would have stole your bankcard too if I was in Cinamon's place!

Damon: Ew.

Me: Thanks Stefan, * bats eyelashes flirtatiously* meet me in the backroom after the show?

Stefan: Okay

Castiel: Why is it that its basically only Damon who gets fangirls asking him to take them to the backroom?

Damon: Cause I'm sexy, right Fangirls?

Fangirls: Eeep!

Jack: You really should stop dazzling them you know

Damon: Shut up! Rum addict!

Alice: So what are these weapons for Cinamon?

Burntcinnamon: They are so you can kill Eddie-boy and then Bob! Bob is freaky and scary but Edward is just a sparkle ass fairy princess who has a mouth full of snarky comebacks!

Edward: Yeah, but Damon has snarky remarks too!

Damon: Yeah, but you don't have sexy good charm, do ya punk?

Edward: Do you wanna go at it? I bet I will kill you first!

Stefan: Omigod! Edward's turning gay! He said "wanna go at it?" HE IS ALSO A SEX-DEPRIVED FREAK!

Damon: I love you for saying that Stef!

Everyone runs towards Edward and hacks him up with the weapons

Burntcinnamon: I have the perfect finishing touch! Flips open a lighter and throws it at Edward.

Edward- Ahh! * Runs away leaving a trail of fire behind him*

Sam and Dean: Wow. 0.o

Chi: Wow

Damon: I totally loved that!

Me: Damon, can you do me a favor?

Damon- Does that favors include sex?

Me- no, can you cook Italian food for me?

Damon- Why would I do that? What's in it for me?

Me- What do you want?

Damon- Smirks

Me- Oh! How about, In my fic: When The Time Is Right, I let you have Marina?

Damon- How do you know I like Marina?

Me- I'm the writer dumbass!

Damon- Hey, I have an ass you love! :)

Me- Why do you like Marina?

Damon- She's hot, AND I think the idea of a weird vampire serial killer after her and Elena is even hotter!

Me- Okay, bye~!

Yep. Well I feel a little left out.

Damon: No one cares.

Go jump in a lake.

Damon: You first. Hope you learned how to swim.

I can doggie paddle.

Damon: That's really sad.

Yeah I know. BereniceAndrea says O.O bob creeps me out,. Im officially scared of him, so im gonna stand over there with the bad ass vampires... Im never gonna mess with him again O.O

Bob: Someone finally realize the power I have possessed! *Evil laugh*

Berenice: Stefan! *tackles you and kisses you* :D I love you! I don't understand why some girls don't love you, you're cute!

Stefan: Because they are evil, soulless people.

You don't have a soul.

Stefan: I own up to that.

Berenice: *hands you a bunny* Do you wanna come to my house tonight?

Stefan: Sure, why not?

Berenice: Damon, I hope one day you can kill barney and be really happy about it, and maybe then we can all do the sparrow dance (!), you're hot ;) *hands you a bag of AB+*

Damon: I don't want Eric seeing my junk flopping around.

Eric: I'll see it soon or later.

Damon: O.O.

I swear you're just like him with me.

So Chi, im a fangirl ;) you're awesome so im your fangirl now too :D you rock ;) whenever you need any help dealing with... anyone, just give me a call and I start killing people! (Except for Stefan, never gonna kill him :D) I don't want to kill him either but other fan girls are crazy. But I love them all.

Dean! Team Sam or team Cass? hehe... 

Sam: Yeah Dean.

Castiel: Whose team are you on?

Dean: Crap!

You guys should be friends, you're all hot :D

Sam: Bastard can burn in hell!

Castiel: Shut up you bottom!

Alice I love you! You're awesome! (Don't worry chi, she's yours, I want the Salvatores :D) can I kill your shiny brother?

Alice: Do whatever you want.

Edward: Hey!

Berenice: BURN IN HELL EDWEIRDO! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA *stakes him and burns him alive again*

So, Chi, really bad news, im gonna be out of town for 10 days since Tuesday, so im not gonna be able to read your story :( which im really sad about, but I don't want any of you guys to think that I love you any less! (specially Stefan!) Except for Edward, I just hate you.

Edward: I hope you fall down a cliff.

I hope you have fun where ever you're going.

Damon: Yeah. What she said.

Vampirewithasecret says to Damon, Sure you have that kinda effect on SOME girl but still...You think everyone should bend to your will and your just pissed that I wont...I hate to say, actually no I don't...I like sparkly ass over there more than you.

Damon: You're stupid.

You can't say that! That's her thoughts about you.

Damon: She can shove it where the sun doesn't shine.

O.O I give up. *Slaps forehead* Rogue Assasin says to Alice As long as you don't suck as much as Eddie over there you're cool Alice.

Alice: Good.

Alice I dare you to make out with Damon 15 minutes straight unless you're chicken...

Alice: She said Pam or Chi right.

She said Damon.

Alice: I hate him! He's an ass! Fine, I'll show you I'm not a chicken.

Damon: Huh?

Alice: *Grabs Damon and kisses him*

Rogue: Wolverine YAY *Rogue Assasin makes out with Chi while Alice snogs Damon then goes and sits on Wolverine's lap and licks his cheek*Yummy...

I think my soul is coming out again.

Rogue: As for you Bob - you will be eaten, I will force Eddie my little bitch man to eat you else I will take my blow torch to his balls again... SO Eddie *Eric and Damon hold Edward in place as Rogue fires up blow torch* you had better start eating that tofu freak you sparkly bastard, that's what you get for calling me whore.

Edward: *Closes his eyes* Bye Balls.

Awww Chi, I retract my statement, I will NEVER allow you to become Bella 2 , I'd just get Eric to use Glamour and reprogram you. Thank you.

Louis have you no standards, how could you let that fairy go near your nuts?

Louis: Hey! Don't knock it till you try it. He has a very pretty…mouth.

Damon, if you could have an orgy with as many of the characters and fangirls as you like here, who would it be and what would you make them wear?

Damon: School girl outfits. The short ones.

Rogue: Awww Char you're not a whore, I think you're an equal we're all swingers here, so me you and Pam for some back room action after the show? Dean you can come watch, while Cas and Sam continue their fight over you, I chose your ass cause that's' the sexiest part of you, Damn! 

Dean: That's good with me.

Rogue: Hey Char this Eddie is from Book 2 right... so he has no idea what happens...

Yep he's from the book.

Rogue: Oh Eddie - you want to know what happens? You get aids from Bella and your genitals rot and fall off then you become Aro's bitch boy, and he bends your sparkle ass over all day n all night long...

Edward: *Holds his ears* Lalalalala!

..son says Hello again there kitten. Since you seem to be having a terrible time chapter after chapter here's a joke to brighten up your day. Thank you. I'm happy someone cares.

Damon: Just shut up and let me listen to this.

A husband comes home to find his wife with her bags packed and informs him that she is leaving him to live in Vegas as they pay four hundred dollars per blow job! ''The husband goes upstairs and comes back down with his bags packed as well.'' His wife asks him what he thinks he's doing to which he replies that he is going to go with her to see how she survives on eight hundred dollars a year! Peace out.

Damon: *Laughs* You should try that.

No. Because you would flip out…again.

Damon: With me.

…Please help me.

Louis: The show is over and we want to thank dbz rox, Heart-Broken-In-Love, LeLelurvsGlee, BroadwayAngelLyric…

Ash: XOLittleGreenMonsterXO, BeatrixMayfeir, DimFishLovesParamore, Cherise Brooklyn…

Alice: Breakfastclub 85, FutureActressKS, Burntcinnamon, BereniceAndrea, Vampirewithasecret, and Rogue Assasin for questions and reviews.

Peace!

Stefan: Love!

Jack: What the fuck is this? Root beer?

Bye guys.


	50. The big 50!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

The Big 50!

Can you believe that this is the 50th chapter of this story? I'm so happy. *Jumps in the air* You guys are so awesome! Thanks for coming on here and reading my little story even thought it doesn't even make sense half the time! I hope I can make it to the big 100! Yeah!

Damon: People read still read this crap?

*Nods* Yep. I also got many reviews for this story. Biggest out of all my stories.

Damon: That means people are easily amused. *Drinks Trublood*

Stefan?

Damon: It's a dare since Stefan couldn't get off cause he accepted bunnies. But if it was me I would have broke it. Stefan's to goody.

Stefan: Tru blood isn't that bad. I still have scruffy. *Points to the dog*

Damon: …Scruffy?

I named him.

Ash: Yeah. We can tell...nice French maid outfit.

*Twitch* Burst my bubble why don't you?

Alice: Good job Damon.

*Blush* You like it?

Alice: You look so cute.

Damon: Hahaha. Stay away from her. We don't need another brainless girl roaming around.

Alice: …Stop being a downer.

Okay let's start doing questions! Vampirewithasecret said to Damon, Damon it's really nice that you care enough to threaten me!

Damon: Yes I care for you…to die already. I'll see you in hell soon.

That's mean.

Damon: I never claimed to be a nice person.

Goldie25: *jumps onto Damon's back* Heeey ;) *Quickly re-wires collar so when the button is pressed, the remote shocks the user* Wanna go to the backroom?

Damon: Why don't you get off my back first!

Um…attach the blue wire with the green one.

Goldie & Damon: Why?

*Nervous laugh* It's just a thought!

Goldie: *Reattaches the wire* It works! Wanna come to the backroom now?

Damon: Yes. *Walks to the backroom*

Stefan: How?

It's nothing you need to know. FutureActressKS haha, lol. All your chapters are so entertaining. Thxs!

FutureActress: To Edward, I'll be nice and not beat you up today. 

Edward: Why don't you go away. That would be the best day ever.

Pasting off fangirls will make your life more miserable.

Edward: And who let's them on here?

Yeah….They just come through the hole in the gate.

Pam: That's a lie.

I suck at lying.

FutureActress: To Damon, *clad in school girl outfit* Backroom?

Damon: I just got back from that!

FutureActress: Don't care! *Drags him to the backroom*

So Jack…Can you stop looking up my skirt.

Jack: You have to admit love, Damon got good taste in underwear.

I choose my own underwear!

Jack: Allow me to take them off.

Look! BroadwayAngelLyric is making drinks!

Jack: *Looks around* Huh? Where.

*Walks away*

Stefan: Will Damon be dressing you now?

I freaking hope not. Next thing you know I'm going to be dressed up as wonder woman. I don't like wearing booty shorts!

Damon: Perfect Idea.

Crap.

FutureActress: To Stefan I can spread the love, just not to Edweirdo *kisses Stefan on cheek* 

Edward: No body wants your kisses!

Pam: Says you.

Edward: Go back from where you came from.

Pam: Talk back to me again and I will rip out that tongue.

FutureActress: To Jacob, I think you should transform into your wolf form. So adorable! *gives a long hot kiss*

You want to kiss his wolf form

FutureActress: To Bob, I wish you would die already, creep!

Bob: Screw you! I hope you think I'm a cheeseburger so I can take your soul!

FutureActress: To Chi, You are an awesome writer! *hug*

Thanks. *Smiles*

FutureActress: To Jack, another bottle of rum.

Jack: Yes!

FutureActress: To the male folk - Stop looking under my skirt.

And stop looking under mine's too!

Jack: Pfft. I can't promise loves.

Burntcinnamon wrote…

Me- Damon, honey! * walks over to Damon and kisses him on the lips* I brought a special guest! Well, she can only come in if Chi lets her!

Chi- Wh-

* Damon interrupts*

Damon- To all the fan girls that love me! and you Burntcinnamon, NO PDA! I don't like it, the backroom is private, so its different there!

All the fangirls- Tough luck Dammy! We love you!

Me- And Damon, wouldn't you like to make your brother jealous?

Damon- When you put it that way I understand! Go on Fangirls, PDA forever!

Chi- As I was so rudely interrupted, Who do you want to put in the story Burntcinnamon?

* Burntcinnamon whispers in Chi's ear*

Chi- Oh, I love the way you think * smiles and claps hands*

Chi- Come in Marina!

Damon- Marina's here?

Me- Yup

Damon- Why?

Me- I thought you loved her!

Damon- Hey, don't say that out loud!

Me- Damon, I know pleasing like a million of us fangirls and cooking me Italian food. I know its hard, and you must be tired! So, Marina baby come on out! * laughs and claps hands*

Eric- Is she hot?

Damon- Yes! BUT STAY AWAY FROM MY MARINA!

* Marina saunters in, and begins to give Damon a lap dance*

Damon- Wow

Dean- OMG

Castiel- Okay then

Eric- Hot! :)

* Marina hops off Damon's lap and throws him a bag of AB+*

*Looks around* What the hell just happened?

Damon: Don't even try to understand, you'll do better in life that way.

Okay?

LeLelurvsGlee said Lmaooooooooooooo. Tooo funny. I love this chapter's Damon in that fanfic im writing about you your going to have to live with Barney! Good luck!

Damon: How would you like it if I just came over to your house and chock you. Just for a little bit.

Dean make up your mind. It's Sam or Cas. And if you choose Cas me and Sam are gonna whoop both of your asses.

Castiel: Yeah Dean.

Sam: You will not lay a hand on him!

Why are those two so bitchy?

Dean: *Shrugs*

Jack I have booze in the backroom. Lots of booze.

Jack: *Runs to the backroom*

Damon I am going to kick your ass after I kick Barneys. And guess what. I got raven for you. And don't think it's because im nice. The faster im done with them I can get to you.

Damon: Bring it kiddy.

xXspoiiledheartXx said Chi- yea im up to it just a couple of chapters just so I make sure they die and relieve you from that stress and probably seduce Damon or not it depends. Just think about it *Smiles* Okay!

Dean: BereniceAndrea says chapter amazing as always, ;) hey, you should have a break too and go to a spa day with Sookie!

I'll take one soon. For Midterms. The devils test.

Lestat: Aww Damon told me to have fun *-* HE DOES HAVE A SOUL, LADIES AND GENTLEMAN! :D I love you Salvatore

Damon: Okay. Now go away.

Yep. You just lost your nice guy thing.

Damon: Oh. Well.

Stefan, would you protect me from bob? I think he watches me while I sleep... :( you should name your bunnies! You can call them like fruits, or countries, or something like that :)

Stefan: I have thirty six bunnies. Help me think of that many names.

Dean, why don't you tell both Sam and Cass how much you love them both? So you can love each other!

Dean: *Sighs* I tried that and they got into another fight.

Jack, there's rum in the back room for you.

Jack: Yay! More rum!

I WANNA BE ON CHERISE'S ARMY AGAINST EDWARD! When's our next attack captain? :P You have to ask the leader. So when you going to attack Edward again Cherise?

Lestat leave Stefan alone! He's mine! *cries in the corner*

Lestat: I don't mind sharing.

I'M GONNA MISS YOU GUYS! :( Chi you rock ;) Thanks. I really do hope you have fun and we're going to miss you too…right Damon?

Damon: Kiss my…

*Presses button on the remote*

Damon: Yes. I will miss you so much.

*Smiles*

Sam: Vamp123 LMFAO

THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS!

I LOVE IT :)

who would've thought Barney turning out to be lady gaga in disguise

LMFAO

Genius :)

Update soon !

Thanks for reading. I'm happy you like it.

Damon: People like this crap?

Yes. I'm getting better at being a writer.

Damon; You still suck.

But I'm better then a few months ago.

Damon: Still suck.

I hate you.

Castiel: Heart-Broken-In-Love says Eric and Pam distract Alice and Damon in any way that you have too.

Eric: *Touches Damon's butt* Your so hot.

Damon: Get the FUCK AWAY FROM ME OLD MAN!

Pam: Let's have fun Alice.

Alice: O.O.

Heart-Broken:*turns to Charity* Now tell everyone out of the whole show who you want to have sex with the most?

Um…Alice because I don't thin she would place me in back bending positions.

Alice: We should just test that out.

Damon: I will stab you in the eye!

Do you like the movie Mean Girls? If so did you understand the math they were talking about? Nope. Not a clue.

Dean: Seth I have an idea you should do a thing in here where the fangirls are actually in the show like the characters and they get to do whatever they want as long as it's no killing and also whatever you want them to do.

Huh? I don't know. I'm probably do it after mid terms.

Zero: Would you rather do Bella or Rosalie? 

Seth: Bella because at least she doesn't bitch.

Please tell me you're not like Jacob and gay?

Seth: Pfft: I like tits. Not dicks.

Ash: Can't tell.

Seth: Go jump off a cliff.

Heart-Broken: BE NICE TO CHARITY SHE IS NOT YOUR WHORE! *eyes blaze and stabs him with a stake* You welcome Charity.

*Hugs Heart-broken* Thank you!

Damon: I'll get you back for that.

Ash: Stefan Your comment on why people hate you 'Because they are evil, soulless people.' That is parsley true I don't know about the others but I am.

Stefan: Good. Now go see Dr. Drew maybe he can help you.

At least she didn't attack you.

Heart-Broken: *smiles evilly as eyes go black and attacks Stefan in the worst ways possible*

O.O. Well…I know never to piss her off. Anneryn7 said I swear, each chapter gets better and better! *Smiley face*

Anneryn: Eric, I feel like I've been neglecting you. I'm sorry! *grabs, and kisses* *smirk* You should meet me later.

Eric: Okay.

Anneryn: For Pam we have some business to attend to... in the back room... Do you think you can handle it? *innocent smile*

Pam: Bring it on.

dbz rox said Hahaha super funny chap! Oh and Damon you won best villain at the KCA but lost male hottie to Jacob! How do u feel about that?

Damon: They can kiss my undead ass. There.

Hannah: Dean *sits on lap again* You are so damn comfy! *starts to make out with him*

Edward, You know you have a problem when your own sister doesn't care if you die.

Edward: I'm a vamp I don't even care if I die.

Low self worth?

Edward: Shut up.

Bob, Are you a crack head?

Bob: No. I'M THE EATER OF SOULS! MUHAHAHAHA!

O.O Louis, You have earned some Brownie points in my book because you fessed up to being a douche.

Louis: Yep. Now go.

Alice, How good is sex with Jasper?

Alice: He's pretty good. When he's not with someone else.

Ouch.

Hannah: Youngest sibling high five! *high fives him while still on Dean's lap. Then goes back to making out with Dean.*

BroadwayAngelLyric says Damon, they obviously don't get you obvious genius. The whole badass thing is part of the charm. Someone has to represent the Salvatore name since Stefan drops the ball repeatedly.

Damon: You're on my never going to kill list. That a rare thing to get on.

Chi, I think you should have a wrestling edition of the show. I wanna be in Damon's corner. He has better chances of beating Stefan. Lol. That would be awesome, should we do tag teams too. Like a fangirl paired with one of the guys?

Jack, I got you some booze. You and I are going in the backroom and getting wasted. *grabs Jack and pulls him into the backroom where the rum is*

Jack: I'm wasted loves!

We can tell.

Stefan: Yep.

You healed up?

Stefan: Not emotionally.

Well prepare for this one.

Stefan: Okay.

Stefan, you still ACCEPTED the bunny so the diet is still on. I hate you. That's why Elena's gonna leave you for Damon this season. We all know you're not on a vegetarian diet. YOU ARE A TAMPON SUCKER. That's why you stay with Elena because she's blood source without even biting her, you freak.

Stefan: …She uses tampons?

Alice, if you do away with Eddie boy, I'll hold down any member of this show that you want to make out with.

Alice: Let's do this next time I have a feeling of doing something big. *Smiles*

Edward: *Gulps*

Seth, you're the man now. Jacob, you're too undecided. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, then we can talk.:)

Jacob: I really like both okay.

Damon: *Pulls out a note pad and writes down something*

What are you doing?

Damon: Writing down names to stay away from if I'm ever alone.

Eric, do you think you could channel Godric from the dead to get him to kill Bob? 

Eric: *Shrugs*

Bob: Stay away from me!

Eric: I haven't even move.

Bob: Oh. Then don't look at me. 

Pam, hold down Eddie while I punch him in the nose.

Pam: *Grabs Pam and holds him down* Why just the nose?

BroadwayAngelLyric: *Punches Edward in the nose* Cause I'm not going lower.

Zero, here's a gun. Go crazy.

Zero: *Grabs the gun and shoots Damon, Edward Twice, and Stefan* I don't play favorites.

Sam and Cas, how about playing a video game to decide who gets Dean. Maybe Rock band or Prince of Persia?

Sam & Castiel: Mortal Combat!

Come on, Jack, I got a case of Jack Daniels in the back with your name on it literally :) Bye guys. Fuck you Bob, Edward, and Stefan.

Jack: *Runs to backroom again*

Pawprints25 Hey! I loved the past two chapters! I was away to review the last two anyway. Don't worry Cas, you'll have a fangirl do something eventually.

Castiel: I kind of doubt that.

BeatrixMayfeir says Love you Chi! I'm having so much fun with your show! Sorry Stefan I don't have anything against you but I wanted to make Lestat happy he's the first vampire I loved!

Lestat: Thank you!

Stefan: *Groans*

Forgive me please I'll give you not one but three big bunnies and thanks to me you managed not only to kiss Chi but to piss off Damon too! Forgive me!

Stefan: That was so fun.

Damon please come with Cas to take the coffin I want you to check if I learned how to do that thing you do with cherries properly! I'll let you drink from me too if that isn't enough!

Damon: I'll be on my way.

Castiel: Yep.

Dean I made apple pie for you! We all brought food for our vampires but nothing for you humans and I want to resolve this!

Damon: Just like her starve!

Hey!

Damon: I'm pissed about yesterday.

*Rolls eyes* Chi what's your favorite cake? I'll cook it for you. I love chocolate cake.

Dean: And there are muffins for Jacob and Seth!

Seth: Thank you.

Jacob: *Takes a bite* Good.

Jack, Wolverine do you want me to cook something for you?

Jack: Pie.

Huh?

Jack: I really like pie.

Wolverine: I'm good.

For now here's a dozen bottles of rum for our captain and a six pack of beer for Wolverine! Eh Cas you don't need to eat, right? So let's go in the backroom, ok? We can play strip poker*smile*! Bye everyone – Beatrix

Castiel: Bye guys. *Goes to the backroom*

XOLittleGreenMonsterXO said ahahahahahahahahaha! so funny!

LittleGreen:*sweetly* Edward? Get bent and die.

Edward: Up yours.

Oh, and Chi? If he doesn't get bent and die, can I come on the show and kill him? Purty please with a cherry on top? Okay.

LittleGreen: *Smirk * Zero let me see your guns.

Zero: *hands over guns*

LittleGreen: *Shots at Edward*

Edward: *Runs away*

Ash, where's Mare? Is she still at Harvard? Are you still trying to prove yourself? (cuz i think that is so CUTE!)

Ash: Yes she still in Harvard and yes.

Rogue Assasin: Awww Char ... hmmm against my better judgment and I KNOW wolverine won't like this but I'll take your share of abuse from Damon *whispers in Charity's ear - I've had vervain so he can't do much harm to me* so I will stand next to you and bear the abuse all for the price of a hot kiss from you each time he vents on me Bwhahahahah that and I get to ogle Pam.

Damon: Yeah like I'm going to hit you so you can kiss her. Do whatever to Pam but leave the chia pet alone.

Rogue: Pam go sit on Wolverine's lap for me.

Pam: *Goes and sits on Wolverine's lap* Hey.

Jack I dare you to dress like a Cabernet girl and can-can the entire show - Eddie you can join him since you no longer have balls.

Jack: Do I just booze and pie?

Edward: No. I will not

Don't go against her.

Edward: What she going to do.

She burnt your balls off!

Edward: So.

Rogue: Bob the Tofu person how the fuck do we get rid of you... I have an idea... Dean, Sam and Cass come with me.*Rogue whispers in Dean's ear then Cass's while Dean whispers in Sam's ear* Oh Bob... Get him!

*Dean throws net over Bob while Me and Cass put him in a wood chipper - Sam brings out Impala and we put him in the boot, Dean hops in with Sam and they leave*

Rogue: Don't worry Chi and Cass they're just taking him for a very long drive then they're going to use the wood chipper to chop him up in itty bitty pieces at the crater of a volcano - I know that won't kill him but it will be a while till he gets himself together again...

Stefan what would you do if you found out Katherine turned your Mom as well? Could you imagine what it would be like if Momma Salvatore was a vamp lived in the boarding house with you and Big D - I bet you'd run whining to her every opportunity you get Stefan.

Stefan: …No.

Rogue: Okay this Q is for Chi, Stefan, Damon, Lestat, Eric, Pam, Wolverine, Jack, Cass and Alice - There's a meteorite about to hit the Earth and destroy the planet - what is your last act before you meet your final death?

Probably eat everything I can. There's so many things I haven't tasted.

Damon: That's so stupid.

Well…what about you?

Damon: Screw every girl I can and maybe…*Mumbles* tell someone how I feel.

Huh?

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of my head*

Ouch!

Stefan: Be like Damon. At least I would have fun.

Lestat: Screw Stefan until the end.

Stefan: Stay Away From Me!

Pam: Be with Rogue. She knows how to have fun.

Jack: Drink.

Alice: Be with Chi and keep her away for Demon.

Damon: It's Damon.

Alice: Don't care.

Castiel: Be with Dean.

Wolverine: Pfft like I care.

..son Congratulations on fifty chapters kitten! They have truly been one of a kind. Here's to fifty more chapters of pure awesomeness! You should bring Elena on sometime. Peace out. Thanks! I'll bring her on.

Damon: The damn show is finish. Now go!

Not just yet! I want to thank…*presses a button*

*Shoots off fireworks that spells names*

Stefan: Vampirewithasecret, Goldie25, FutureActressKS…

Damon: Burntcinnamon, LeLelurvsGlee, xXspoiiledheartXx, BereniceAndrea….

Dean: Vamp123, Heart-Broken-In-Love, anneryn7, Breakfastclub85…

Sam: BroadwayAngelLyric, pawprints25, BeatrixMayfeir, XOLittleGreenMonsterXO…

Rogue Assasin and ..son for reviews and questions. Thanks for the reviews and everything. I'm happy and I hope we celebrate for our 100th chapter soon. *Smiles*

Sam: Peace!

Stefan: Love!

And chocolate!

Damon: Bye! Now go.

Stupid up! Please come back.

Damon: This story is stupid.

No!

Stefan: You want to go to the backroom Chi?

Damon: *Grabs me by the collar* No

Bye! You really do…stop pulling on me!

Damon: I don't trust you with him.

Bob: Here's Bobby!

Everyone (Expect Eric): *Screams*


	51. Don't mess with angry moms

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Maury!

Maury: On today's episode were here because younger brothers are tired of older brother's wild way. Meet Stefan Salvatore and he is here to settle the score with Damon.

Stefan: He's loud, rude and not worth a flying crap.

Maury: But you brought him on the show because you care for him.

Stefan: …Yeah let's go with that.

Maury: Let's bring out Damon Salvatore.

Damon: *Walks out and hears boos* Shut the *bleep* up!

Maury: Please don't cuss on my show.

Damon: What the hell is this Stefan?

Stefan: A way to make you behave.

Damon: I doubt that.

Maury: Is it true that you torture your brother, stole his girl and abuse him to no end?

Damon: …Yeah what of it?

Maury: Please bring out Harvey!

Damon: You really think a pussy will stop me.

Harvey: *Stomps out* Bring it Damon.

Stefan: Why does he look like he's about to have a stoke?

Maury: More affective that way.

Stefan: To yell in people's faces and look like he's about to die.

Maury: *Nods*

Harvey: YOU THINK YOU CAN FIGHT ME BOY!

Damon: *Looks him up and down* Boy? I'm older then you.

Harvey: YOU WANT TO FIGHT!

Damon: …And they say I have anger issues. *Stands up*

Harvey: *Kicks Damon's chair over* You think you bad?

Damon: Stefan please tell me that this is a stupid joke.

Stefan: This is really not helping. At all.

Harvey: *Gets in Damon's face* What do you do want to do boy?

Damon: *Slaps Harvey and sends him flying* I was being easy.

Everyone: O.O.

Mom #1: Who the hell you are trying to kill Harvey!

Mom #2: Yeah!

Damon: Why don't you go watch your kids and stop depending on tv shows to raise them.

Moms in the crowd: ….*Bleep* This *Bleep* *Bleeeeeeep*

Then the moms's stamped onto the stage and surround Damon with angry faces.

Damon: I'm not afraid to hit a woman.

The moms all attack him.

Maury: I call this a good day.

Stefan: …Poor Damon.

Damon: DON'T FEEL *BLEEP* SORRY FOR….ME COME HELP ME NOW!

Stefan: You're a vampire…help yourself.

Damon: I *Bleep* hope you rot in hell up *Bleep* *Bleep* Bleep*!

Stefan: Good for you.

* * *

Well that sounded fun.

Damon: *Stares at me* I was attacked by moms and not in a good way!

Let's start the show!

Damon: I hate you!

Of course you do. Huh?

Stefan: What?

What is Bob doing? *Places hands up*

Damon: *Sings* Bobby got a gun. Aim at chi a pet!

Bob: Revenge for sicking your demon hounds on me.

Okay…Put the gun down. I want to die in my sleep and not while my eyes are open.

Bob: *Shoots me*

Damon: *Knocks me over*

Ouch! Huh? Damon up okay?

Damon: Never better…FUCK!

*Jumps up* NOOOOO!

Damon & Me: WE SWITCHED BODIES!

Stefan: …Well that sucks.

Damon: No! Fan girls will hurt me and rape me!

Good luck with that.

Damon: Huh? We have to figure a way through this…

Stefan: Guess what…I'm Edward now. I'm going to kill myself now.

Damon: Who has he not switched?

Jack cause he won't stand still.

Jack: *Hugs Damon* Hey love, like the cheer outfit.

I'm Damon!

Jack: ….I must be hella drunk then cause you look and sound just like her love.

*Grabs Jack's arm and throws him to the ground* I'M DAMON SALVATORE THE BADDEST VAMPIRE YOU'LL EVER LIVE TO SEE!

Pam: You sound so cute.

Huh?

Eric: This is a drag. I was happy I was never born a guy.

Alice: Stefan! I still love you!

Lestat: What did you do to Chi Damon!

Edward: My eyebrows are fuzzy…Ew!

Zero: *Slams his head against the wall* I'm Louis! *Screams*

Louis: *Shrugs*

Wolverine: I feel pathic and a little gay.

Jacob: My body is not gay! I have knifes coming out of my hands!

Seth: Your kidding me…right?

Sam: I FUCKING HATE THIS!

Castiel: I could careless.

Damon: Give us a break please.

* * *

Damon – Chi

Stefan – Edward

Eric – Pam

Lestat – Alice

Zero – Louis

Wolverine – Jacob

Dean – Seth

Sam – Castiel

Sookie is so lucky that she wasn't here.

Ash: What did I miss?

Damon: I'm in little M's body!

I'm not submissive!

Damon: Don't do or say anything to miss up my rep.

Of being the best whore in the world?

Damon: I'll cut a tit off.

…Let's start questions. *Sighs* I'm really scared.

Stefan: No kidding. Do you know how many fan girls will be pissed off at this?

I'm the one who's going to get rape! *Cries in the corner*

Damon: STAND UP AND BE A MAN!

I'm a girl!

Damon: Don't say those thing when your in my body!

Fine!

Heart-Broken: *screams with them with wide eyes* *takes a few steps away from Bob*  
Why are you so Creepy?

Bob: Because I am!

Heart-Broken: I have a solution. *picks Bob up and forces him down sisters throat and makes sure friend eats Bob* That was supposed to be for Stefan to eat but it was a sacrifice so now my friends dead and so is Bob technically sort of...Whatever *rolls eyes.

Damon: And you guys call me evil.

Cause you are.

Damon: Whatever.

Heart-Broken: Stefan Sooooo...I'm thinking about hurting you more.

Edward: Oh Crap.

Heart-Broken: *jumps on Stefan's back smiling evilly as she plunges a vervain dart into his neck*

Edward: Get the hell off me!

Heart-Broken: I have all ready been to a doctor *blinks a little* Next day Doc was dead! *giggles* Does that sound like fun too you?

Edward: No. No fun at all!

Heart-Broken: Good Seth. Because if you were gay that would suck a lot because you are very awesome! *Drags Seth to back room*

Stefan: *Whispers* Does she know that she just took Dean back there?

I don't know.

Heart-Broken: Charity Listen to this song .com/watch?v=q1Sv8gcva1E What do you think about it?

The song sounds so pretty and the guys are so hot!

Heart-Broken: Do you like Japanese boys? If so aren't they like so hot?

Yes! Just like Shota! *Fan girl squeal*

Damon: Stop doing girly stuff!

Heart-Broken: Are you gonna watch the movie Vampires Suck when it comes out? The promo is so funny how Jacob chases a cat yelling "Come back Pussy" Or something like that.

I can't wait to see it. I'm going with my friend TherealDarlacooper aka Brenda.

Heart-Broken: Have you read the manga NANA?

Only a few chapters but I watched the anime and I cried. Half the time then I wanted to smash some skulls. But it was pretty cool. I haven't seen the movie yet.

Heart-Broken: I feel like you and Eric are being under loved. This calls for a three some! *drags Eric and Pam to backroom*

Well it's not that much of a difference.

Heart-broken: Have you had a four some? They are so good!

Pam: Lots of times.

Eric: A few but by choice only.

Heart-Broken: I dare you to rape Damon. No matter what you have to do *smirks* Sorry Damon just feel like being an extra bitch then usual.

O.O No! *Shakes head*

Damon: Come on 'Damon' it is a dare after all, Besides Pam's in his body. What damage can she do?

…I know!

Damon: *Pushes me* Dare time!

Pam: Let's go…Damon. *Smirk*

…Oh crap.

Pam: *Drags me to the backroom* We have to do our duties.

Heart-Broken: Does Bob creep you out at all?

Eric: Not really.

Heart-Broken: Sam, Who out of everyone here do you want to kill the most and you cant say Castiel!

Sam: Louis, because he's a jerk.

Louis: Yeah.

Heart-Broken: *drags him to back room*

Dean, Who do you want to fuck the most out of everyone here?

Dean: Lestat.

Heart-Broken: You seem deprived of Sex I will fix that. *grabs dean and drags him to back room*

That's Seth. This is too confusing.

Heart-Broken: Damon and just how are you going to get me back for that? Remember I am practically the devil and won't hesitate to kill or torture anyone even if I like or liked them don t doubt me vampy I may have liked you before but you are nothing compared to Seth and I will not hesitate to hurt you like I have done your brother!

Edward: Ow!

Hurts don't it Stephanie?

Edward: I'm not Stefan!

Heart-Broken: 'Throws vervain at Damon and pours it all over him* Do not threaten me boy *eyes go dark*

OW! THAT HURTS! IT BURNS!

Damon: Bwahahaha! Nice to see St. Chi to get hurt, long as she's doesn't die.

*Rolls on the ground*

Castiel: BroadwayAngelLyric Happy belated 50th anniversary!

Thank you! My eyes still burn.

Damon: It'll wear off.

I got a question for everyone, if there was a huge world crisis causing you to evacuate, and you could only take two people with you (a character on the show and a fangirl) who would you choose?

Cherise and Alice.

Damon: Can believe I'm saying this but Heart-Broken-In-Love and You. I would need all the help I need and screw the people on the show.

You suck!

Damon: Good for you.

Jack, my booze brother, who's your favorite fangirl drinking partner? Since everyone loves bringing you booze.

Jack: Anyone who brings the booze. Why should I have favorite when you all on the same plane of awesomeness!

Damon, I'm honored to be on your list for never going to kill. JSYK I voted for you on the Teen Choice Awards in every category you were nominated. But they only gave you one. Stupid bastards.

Damon: Let's kill everybody in the category next year and let's see who wins now.

Stefan: I can't take you serious in her body.

Damon: Shut up…Edward.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Eric and Pam, I found it sickening that Sookie and Jason were nominated and you two weren't. Don't get me wrong, I love all 4 of you but you guys deserved at LEAST a nomination. Being awesome and all. *winks*

Eric: Thanks.

Pam: I know. Let's go with Damon's plan.

Sam and Cas, how's that game of mortal kombat coming along?

Sam: I'm winning!

Castiel: Not…for…long.

Dean, make a choice. The love triangle needs to end. *whispers to Dean* Choose Cas, I'm sure Pam would love to have Sam to herself.

Dean: No. I'm trying to figure it out.

Bob, listen up. Die you sorry fucker. Die.

Bob: I hope you know what your eating and let's hope a little piece of me is in you. EATING YOUR SOUL!

Change me back!

Bob: Don't know how.

*Screams*

Sam: Yo, Sparkles. *Grabs Edward by the collar* Listen here, twinkle toes. Kill Bob and I leave you alone for two whole chapters. Don't handle it and I break more than your nose, I break Bella's face in, play jump rope with her intestines, make a coat out of her hair, let Zero shoot at her head after I rip it from her body, use one of her eyeballs as a gemstone on a ring, and I'll make Damon a cocktail out of her blood. I might even give your tampon-sucking clone Stefan some too. Heck, to keep with the spirit, I'll make Jack a Bloody Mary. So are you in?

Stefan: She is so violent.

Edward: Fine but you know he'll just pop up and take about soul taking.

Bob: So true.

Stefan, fuck you. I really hate you. That's why I'm going to tell Elena you cheated on her with fangirls when she comes on.

Stefan: Come up with better insults. Now I'm ignoring you.

Jack, here's more booze. 100 chilled bottles of rum. Enjoy!

Jack: *Jumps up and down* YES! Yes!

Jacob, you're the man again. Sorry Seth.

Jacob: Thank you.

Seth: *Laughs* I know I'm better than him.

Chi, I don't know how you put up with this but I'm glad you do so thank you. Damon, do something about your feelings because Stefan is starting to freak me out more than usual with his moves on Chi. Bye guys

Damon: Yeah Stefan. Stop hitting on Chi.

Stefan: Then admit you like her.

Damon: No. I already did that now drop it! All of you!

Can you please stop touching my boobs!

Damon: They are so heavy!

I'm a C cup.

Damon: Yeah. Heavy.

*Rolls eyes* Rogue Assasin said Awww Chi the big 50 huh... I think you have the most reviews for a VD story (The Harry Potter fics have the most reviews on the site)

Rogue: Awww Pam I LOVE you - you're the only character I really truly do with exception to Wolverine and Eric - Shhh don't tell Sookie.

Pam: She's not here.

Rogue: Dean and Sam you idiots - you let Bob escape from the Impala didn't you - I should have just got Damon to do it and use his car.

Sam: We burnt that bastard alive.

Dean: That bastard is a cockroach!

Chi a pet come hither *Rogue stares hypnotically at Chi* Pam Hold off D for me and Alice give him some tongue make sure you grind up on him good - I want him distracted show him your boobs if you must.

Yeah. I'm in Damon's body.

Rogue: *Rogue swaps saliva with Chi and pinches her butt through her tight little shorts*

O.O

Damon: I'm turned on.

Get out of my body!

Rogue: Okay so I have a new idea...Every time Damon hits you Stefan holds him back and I make out with you - till your soul comes out BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Damon: Hit me.

N-No!

Rogue: Eddie Eddie Eddie... you should listen to me or I'll make you more miserable than Bella ever could. You either dress up like a flamingo girl and can-can with Jack or

a) I will MAKE you grow a vagina - Eric knows how to perform a sex change - Eric you're so smart *sighs* or

Edward: Ew! Well this is Stefan's body. I'll go with a.

Rogue: b)*Rogue brings out Bella* I will get Eric to Glamour her into fucking Jacob till she bursts with puppies

Edward: I said A. Now, while I'm in this bastard's body!

Rogue: I don't have all day make up your mind or I'll do both and yes I have been sent straight from Satan.

Edward: Turn Stefan into a girl!

Rogue: Now for Bob - I wasn't going to bring out the big guns with you - I was going to give you a chance but now I have no choice...*Rogue Assasin opens little polystyrene box*

Bob: *Bobs eyes widen in fear* Mamma?

Bob's Mom: Bobby why are you troubling the nice little Chi a pet?*Bob's mom stands with rolling pin in hand* I thought I taught you better!

He has a mom?

*Bob's mom chases Bob with Rolling*

Rogue: Here Chi - you can have the box - she lives in it - you can sic her on Bob whenever you like.

Thanks!

Rogue: Someone said something about Elena leaving Stefan for Damon - actually she dies and Stefan starts getting on with Bonnie till he's kidnapped by Demon foxes and Damon sacrifices his memory to save his brother and by doing so becomes human... Gosh that was a mouthful - but yeah that's what happens in the books.

Damon: …It that true?

*Shrugs*

Damon: Read the damn book Chi.

Too big.

Damon: its three books in it.

Jack if you can-can I'll give you a whole ship load of rum and get Pam Anderson to show you her boobs.

Jack: *In a red dress* I'm ready!

Rouge: Chi - the world is ending and all you can think of is food? *Rogue kisses Chi again and bites Damon's hand when he tries to hit Chi*

*Nervous laugh*

Rouge: LOL - Lestat you make me laugh - screw Stefan till the end - I thought you'd want to be with Louis...

Lestat: Can I have both?

Rogue: Stefan I'd screw you but you'd have to go and have your eyebrows tweezed.. they're freaky did you inherit them form your mom or your dad - Damon aren't you embarrassed by them?

Damon: I just pretend that they are puppies up there.

Really?

Damon: It works so far.

Stefan: I'll trim them off…one day.

Damon I dare you to LOVINGLY give your little brother a make over and maybe - just maybe I'll do the unthinkable and invite him in with me and Pam - If Pam would like that.

Damon: Go Damon.

I really hate you. Come on 'Stefan'

Edward: Yeah put the chain saw down.

It's really hairy!

Rogue: So Pam who do we take in with us next for our back room time after the show?

Pam: I want to bring Sam!

Sam: …

Pam: I want to hear him scream.

It's so weird to hear that come out of Eric's mouth

Eric: *Shrugs*

Rogue: Chi stand near the back room door so I can make out with you every time Damon hits you - or Pam can do it - we'll both be in there - who wants to watch?

Castiel: I want to see.

Bob: I'll watch anyways.

I hope we can get out of this body soon. XOLittleGreenMonsterXO says haha, so funny, you know, you do a "Books they can't do together" too, that'll be funny! oh, oh! put them in Uglies! and the Host! I wanna see Damon actually doing some work! *evil grin*

Damon: Ha Ha…go chock on beef jerky.

BeatrixMayfeir said

Congrats for the 50th chapter! Chocolate cake? I love it too! I'll make a big one so we can eat it together! Okay. *Smiles*

Damon: I'll steal some. Just cause I can.

Beatrix: Cherry pie for Jack with a bottle of rum of course and a lot of hamburger for Dean Seth and Jacob! Oh my Castiel! You and Damon together are the best thing I've ever had! God I'm still a bit aching but it feels so good! Dean you should try! But we know that Damon will never agree to this, so Cas and I will show you what master Damon taught us!

Sam: *Growls*

Beatrix: Eh, Damon if Chi doesn't like Wonder Woman what do you think about Cat Woman? Stefan are we okay*pout*? If yes will you give me a lap dance? Kisses and hug to everyone! Congrats again Chi you're the best!

Thanks…Which cat woman suit?

Damon: The Halle Berry one.

Anneryn7 says *Squeals* Dean said my name. *fans self*

Dean: *Laughs*

Anneryn: So...what are you doing right now? Nothing, awesome. You, me, back room, now. Go * mischievous grin*

Dean: Wait till we get this under control.

Anneryn: Damon, Oh, there was something in that Trublood... it will force you to be nice to Chi for a week! *maniacal laughter*

I'm poisoned.

Damon: It's probably work tomorrow.

Anneryn: I agree, you aren't their whore! AND, you really do have all of the power. I think they should remember that. *smile*

*Smile* Thanks.

LeLelurvsGlee said so freaking funny chi. Ok someone really needs to kill bob. I have an idea. Why don't when we find Barney again we shove bob down his throat.

Damon: We tried.

LeLe: And chi if we do wrestling I wanna be on zeros team.

Okay.

LeLe: So did everyone watch the teen choice awards?

Sadly no. Don't have tv right now.

xXspoiiledheartXx, says Chi- is that an ok you can be in the next couple of chapters or ok moving on cuz I really want to kill those two gay things named bob and Edward.

Yeah I'll bring you on tomorrow.

FutureActressKS: Die already Edweirdo! *hits on the back of the head with a hammer*

Stefan: OW! *Rubs Head*

FutureActress: Bob Still a creep! Stop trying to steal my soul!

Bob: I'll steal your body too!

FutureActress: Damon I'll never let go *big bear hug*

He's in my body.

Sam: Vie said You have a lot of characters in this one and I likey a lot but its taken away from the title of the fic.

I agree…so got any good titles…anyone.

Damon: You suck.

Shut up!

Vie: Still, I like but PLEASE bring in Bonnie; our fav. little witch. I also have a question for everyone: Who is your 'secret' crush on their prospective shows (no same sex answers please...except for Dean and Sam...don't really see a lot of women on the show...by the way)?

I know!

Just want to add: I LOVE you Damon!

Damon: I love my lovers. *smiles* My crush is Elena, why because she's the first name I could think of.

Stefan: Elena.

Eric: Sookie.

Pam: Anyone with boobs.

Dean: I don't want to say because it will start world war 3.

Sam: Dean…

Dean: what's the … for?

Sam: It's nothing.

Why is the air so tense?

Lestat: Yeah.

Ash: I'm chocking on it.

Dbz rox said Oh dear god that was funny! Loved it! I think you should bring Ian in next:) lets see how he and Damon fair against each other

Damon: Try it and see how fast I make him my bitch.

I knew…

Damon: Shut up!

*Sticks tongue out*

Vampirewithasecret: Congrats Chi and I was first! *jumps up and down* HELL YEA!

Thanks.

Vampirewith: Stefan, name one of your bunnies sprinkles…hee hee.

Stefan: I'll give it to the one with the brown fur.

..son says Hello kitten. Dare Damon to make out with Sookie if she lets him get anywhere near her.

Eric: I really doubt that.

Also can you rawr really loudly.

Damon: Me?

Or Me?

Damon: Let's just do it together.

*Nods*

Damon & Me: RAWR!

*Coughs* I breathe in the wrong…way!

Damon: Dumb ass.

Dean: Pawprint25 says hate bob but I liked the ending. I don't have and questions or dares so…Happy 50th chapter!

Thanks! Burntcinnamon said Hey! * hugs and kisses for that awesome 50th chapter! *Smiles* Thxs!

Burntcinnamon: I dare Damon to throw bob in a garbage can, duct tape the lid on, tie 20 plastic bags around the garbage can, lock it into a safe, then duct tape the entire safe, throw it into the trunk of a car, lock the trunk, drive it to the North pole and then set the car on fire! I really hate bob and he is scaring me!

Damon: Whatever…he'll just come back like nothing ever happened then finally snap and kill everyone.

Burntcinnamon: Please chi! Get rid of bob for at least one chapter, he scares me in my sleep! Oh and maybe for a future chapter idea, you and the whole gang could explore something?

We'll try to get rid of him. What would you want to explore?

Dean: Well that's it for the show.

Yeah. I want to thank Heart-Broken-In-Love, TdiBridgette, BroadwayAngelLyric, Rogue Assasin, XOLittleGreenMonsterXO, BeatrixMayfeir, anneryn7, LeLelurvsGlee, xXspoiiledheartXx, FutureActressKS, Vie, Dbz rox, Vampirewithasecret, ..son, pawprints25, and burntcinnamon for reviewing and the questions.

Damon: Yeah…can you guys help us out of this.

I really don't feel comfortable with a wiener between my legs.

Stefan: I still want to kill myself.

Well bye guys. See you soon!

Sam: Peace!

Jack: Booze!

Damon: And death to that blobby bastard!


	52. Random Dancing!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

ICarly!

Freddie: Five, Four, Three, Two…

Carly: Hi I'm a pickle!

Sam: And I'm a tomato!

Carly: And welcome to ICarly!

Sam: The only show that will give you proteins and slaps you with a fish!

Carly: *Laughs* On today's episode Sam brought some friends.

Sam: Yeah. One of them use to date my mom and *through teeth* Owe me!

Damon: When are you going to die you little evil midget.

Sam: If I die I'll make sure I'll drag you with me. *Claps hands* Okay I want to introduce Stefan and guy-who-doesn't-need-a-name Salvatore!

Freddie: *Presses a button*

*The sound of clapping*

Carly: Hello Stefan and…

Damon: It's Damon.

Carly: Damon?

Sam: He was no name on this show.

Carly: Huh?

Sam: Well mister no name agreed to sing a song.

Damon: She forced me.

Freddie: Yeah. That sounds like her.

Damon: Fine. What song?

Stefan: The Happy song by Liam Lynch

Damon: …You're kidding me right?

Carly: Censored of course…right?

Sam: Yes and if he cusses he'll be shocked.

Damon: You little Bit*Get's shocked*

Sam: Don't come at mama like that. Now sing before the show is over.

Damon: No you evil demon!

Sam: *Smiles* I'll take that as an okay.

Damon: *Growls*

Stefan: *Laughs*

Sam: You're not out of this fuzzy brow get in the background in the coconut binki and start dancing.

Damon: That's what you get Bast *Shock* OW!

Sam: No cussing.

Damon: Let's get this over with.

Sam: Fredtard play the music.

Freddie: *Mutters* Get bent.

Sam: UH?

Freddie: Nothing don' hurt me. *Plays the music*

*Music plays*

Damon: I am really happy cause there's only one of me.

Sam: Keep going!

Damon: *Sings* Look at my smiling I'm so…darn? Happy the people are jealous of me.

Stefan: How long do I have to dance?

Carly: Keep going.

Damon: *Sings* When I'm sad and lonely I like to sing this song, it cheers me up and shows me that I won't be sad for long…Fuck this.

Carly: SAM!

Sam: I'm on it.*Holds down the button*

Damon: *On the floor*

Sam: This is how you cook a guy who's been with your mom.

Carly: He's Italian?

Sam: What can I say? She really likes Italian guys.

Carly: Okay well this is it for the show…

RANDOM DANCING! *Music plays*

Everyone (Expect Damon): *Dancing*

Carly: See you guys later!

Sam: Bub bye!

I feel really weird.

Damon: How can you stand these…flesh bags!

Those are my BOOBS!

Eric: You know Damon, I can rape you.

Damon: *Takes a step back* Like hell you are.

Stefan: I got one name for a bunny.

Jack: You are all weird and that's coming from me. *Hiccups*

Let just get the story started. Hopefully I won't get raped by fangirls.

Damon: Pfft. You think you got it worst? I'm human right now and I can't even fight back.

Stefan: You're screwed.

Damon: Shut up sparkly!

Stefan: ….

The first person is StrawberriKiwies and she says, I dare Sam, Dean, Castiel, Eric, Stefan, & Damon to go in the back room with you for... activities and you have to do it '

Damon: No and there is no way I'm letting her in there with those bastards.

Stefan: Exactly it's you 'Chi' who would pretty much take the pounding.

Damon: ... Fuck that. Nothing is going inside me not even me! And Ew… Stefan!

Stefan: …I wasn't going there you fucking pervert.

It's a dare.

Damon: No. Fuck…That! Don't be trying things in my body you perverted woman!

Eric: *Grabs me and Damon by the collar*

Damon: NO! NO! NOOO!

An hour later.

Damon: *Ripped clothes* Yeah. None of you bastards touched me.

*laughs*

Damon: Shut up! Do you know it's hard protecting my body and your body from those perverts?

At least you know what I feel.

Damon: I don't care about that I just want my butt hole from being touched.

*Shakes head*You should bring lelouche from code geass if u watched it & Mick & Joseph from moonlight if so include them in 1st dare.

Damon: The last thing we need on here is more men. It's like a fucking sausage fest in here. There's only Chi, Alice, Pam (If you call that a woman), and Sookie.

Stefan: It just means our show is getting bigger.

Damon: This show is starting to be aim about the gay loving fan girls. No. I want chicks, not dick! You don't see the girls getting dragged to the backroom by guys that's because…

Stefan: Cause they can't have Chi?

Damon: *Narrows eyes* Shut up!

Let's keep going. Okay?

Damon: Bastard…*Mumbles* interrupting me in my speech.

Heart-Broken-In-Love says Bob, change them back now!...except keep Stefan and Edward the same as they as they are now!

Bob: I'm not listening to you moo cow!

Heart-Broken: *wrinkles face in disgust* Who would you want to eat you?

Bob: Your mom, Chi, maybe you. You can't taste me so I might hide in you favorite food. I am the future leader of the world!

Heart-Broken: I'll go Chuck Norris on your ass!

Bob: I'LL MAKE CHUCKY EAT ME TOO! MUHAHAHAHA!

Heart-Broken: Ew!

Eric: *Let's out a breath in annoyances*

Heart-Broken: Charity, I am so, so, so, so, so sorry. I didn't know you and Damon would be switching bodies I meant to torture Damon just torture Damon as you see fit when you are in the right bodies.

It's alright. I'm still alive but I'll let you torture him. Your torture skills are the best.

Damon: You're too nice Chi a pet.

…How many nicknames do I have?

Dean: A lot.

Yeah.

Heart-Broken: *raises eyebrow* So technically I did fuck Seth and also Dean?

Dean: Yep.

Seth: *Nods*

Heart-Broken: I kind dodged the nasty bullet on that one. *Throws a stake at Edward's head*

Stefan: DAMN! *hold head*

Heart-Broken: At least Edward or Stefan didn't switch bodies with someone I was gonna fuck that would suck so much!

Damon: It'll be funny.

Heart-Broken: And you'll get your ass kick.

Damon: Wait till I get my body back!

Heart-Broken: I can't wait either.

*Laughs*

Heart-Broken: So are you Japanese?

Nope. Just a girl who admires thing for the Land of the rising sun.

Heart-Broken: Do you watch Disney channel?

When I go over to my friends house. She's a Disney fanatic. I'm more of a nick girl but I do like Wizards of Waverly place.

Heart-Broken: Stefan since you are in Edward's body I can torture him so you will feel his pain! *screams really loud before biting Edward really, really hard* I have bitten someone so hard that there was a chuck of skin missing and a puddle of blood but in this case it will be a puddle of venom Aha.

Stefan: Let go of me…you little angry monkey!

Heart-Broken:*laughs and picks up my lighter* One of the best things at smoking at thirteen you can burn people more! *starts to flick lighter at Edward multiple times*

O.O. Yeah I'll never piss her off…ever.

Damon: Yeah like she could do anything!

Heart-Broken: Stefan, and just incase you are in your own body now! *face darkens and eyes go black* This will be fun don't you think? *giggles and starts to attack Stefan in the worst ways known to the world*

Edward: *Screams*

Pam: *Pops popcorn in her mouth* It's like watching shark week.

*Nods* I kinda feel sorry for Edward.

Stefan: *Rubs the scars on his arm* I don't. Crazy demon…thing.

Alice: *Sighs* Poor little brother. Oh well.

Lestat: Smart girl.

Louis: *Nods*

Vie said the only way to return to yourselves is for a certain witch to break the spell! She would only do it on one condition...put Dean, Eric, Stefan, Sam; Lestat, Louie and Damon on Carly to face the wrath that is Sam. My secret crush is me in a lopsided Oreo cookie between Damon and Dean...yummy! I HEART DAMON to DEATH.

Damon: What about the other guys

I was thing of doing a story on that. It's too funny so it deservers it's own fic.

Damon: Yeah miss. Writer why don't you piss off a person who could help us!

But I think it deservers its own…

Damon: *Places hand up* Shut your trap. Now.

…I'll strip in front of all the fangirls. I'm in your body so it doesn't affect me at all.

Damon: You wouldn't.

*Unbuttons a button* Try me.

Dean: **Nervous laugh* Question: If you could be anyone or anything than yourself what or who and why? I won't to be and eagle…to get away from these two.

Sam: Just because you're in my body doesn't mean you can do things to it!

Castiel: Whatever. Like I actually care about your bitching.

Sam: He's mine!

Castiel: Just because you say it out loud doesn't mean it's true.

Damon: I'll rather be any supernatural thing then a human. I feel weak and girly.

Shut up!

Vie: This fun. Oooooo, the next show they could do is True Jackson VP or Teletubbies again...that was the shiznit! Vie is deeply obsessed with D&D ((((sighs dutifully and winks at Dean & Damon))))

Damon: Call me when I switch back.

Dean: Same here.

The switch isn't so bad.

Alice: I hate long hair. I cut it for a reason.

Lestat: Stop complaining. At least the person you love isn't in a person you don't like.

Stefan: Thank god.

Alice: I know the feeling.

Damon: I'M SHORT AS HELL!

Alice & Me: *Growls*

StrawberriKiwies says…

Damon: Her again.

I don't care… chi I dare you 2 answer this? When are you gonna update switch and miss Salvatore? I updated Switch but I'll be working on them after midterms. My school is very different.

Sam: MinaFTW says lol the body switch. In the books Stefan likes Elena, Damon likes Elena and bonnie. Really?

Dean: Never read it. It sucks.

Mina: To Stefan poor baby hands you oil and a match. You're just too ugly to live so end it please, why did he have to switch with Edweirdo? *Cries*

Stefan: *Twitched* I almost forgot.

Yeah the two sexiest Dean and Seth switched!

Mina: Hugs chi, finally a Damon that doesn't annoy the shit out of me.

Thanks.

Damon: You annoy me to tramp!

Mina: *Kicks Damon* Haha since your human now you feel the pain!

Damon: OUCH! *Cusses under his breathe*

*Laughs* StrawberriKiwies….

Stefan: Really?

Strawberri: EdwannasleepwithJacob(Edward)I dare u 2 let me & my sis beat on u & then castrate u No choice*Strawberri & her sis beats and castrates Edward." DIE YOU GAY CANNABALISTIC PIXIE AND THAT STUPID HOE BELLA.I MEAN COME NOT AWESOME LIKE OTHER VAMPIRES OR JACOB SO JUST DIE AND NO MORE REPRODUCING GOD!

Stefan: *Screams*

O.O.

Strawberri: *Then hugs Sam, Dean, Castiel, Stefan, Damon, Eric, Pam & Chi*

You know you hugged Edward. Right?

Strawberri: Let me come in give Stefan Bunneary from pokémon and gets new permanent powers from blood.

Stefan: *Rolls*

Strawberri: Please bring in Sweeny Todd and Selene & Michael from Underworld keep writinXD.

Okay but please don't hurt Damon…until I get out of his body.

Rogue: Stef I feel bad for you - I hope your penis grew back I really thought you were douche bag Cullen over there - How can I make it up to you? Sexual faves don't count as long as you have those eyebrows!

Edward: She clipped them and cut my skin.

I said I was sorry.

Rogue: So Damon did you like me groping your boobs when you were in Chi's body?

Damon: …Maybe.

Rogue: Dean I hope me and Pam didn't wear Sam out too much from our escapades yesterday - Sam you're still wearing that French maid costume nice.

Castiel: I'm wearing it. And it feels breezy.

Damon: Eric *Twitch* STOP TOUCHING ME!

Eric: You're so…rapeable now.

Rape is bad Eric.

Eric: *Shrugs* Fine then I'll glamour him.

Damon: …*Runs away*

Rogue: Castiel I know you're secretly into Sam... did you enjoy watching me and Pam yesterday? Wanna join and make Dean jealous?

Castiel: I don't like Sam but I wanna join.

Rogue: Damon when are you giving your brother that makeover?

I did.

Stefan: It sucks Chi.

Lestat: I think it looks good.

Stefan: Stay away from me!

Rogue:Oh Bob *Bob huddles in corner crying* that's more I like it - see Chi you take care of bad guys by unleashing their mom's on them - so Damon you better treat Chi a pet better or your mom's visiting next review...

Damon: Bring it…what is she going to do? Tell me off? PFFT.

Rogue: and Damon I DARE you to screw Bob's mom in front of Bob.

Damon: I'm not that despaired.

Bob: Don't defile my mother!

Rogue: Chi you don't have to read all 5 books - wikipedia it - they give you a summary here's the link: .org/wiki/The_Vampire_Diaries_(novel_series)  
Last book releases in March 2011 - have a feeling Smith's going to pull a Harry Potter and kill both brother's - Elena deserves it.

Wait a minute. Someone dies in Harry Potter? Who, what, when, where, and *Cries* WHYYYY!

Damon: You don't even care about me? You care about so bitch in Happy Pothead.

*Shrugs* Not really I don't even read the books.

Damon: *growls*

Rogue: Bob - you better stop watching me when I have my Pam time or I'm bringing your gran and making Edward screw her in front of you.

Bob: YOU WILL NOT KEEP ME DOWN! NEVER!

Rogue: I really doubt that.

Bob: I'LL EAT YOUR SOUL!

Rogue: Stefan why can't you be a normal vampire and eat people leave the bunnies and bambi alone! You ate Peter Rabbit didn't you!

Stefan: ….*Laughs*

Rogue: Wolvy! :( chop Edwards arms of for me please *Rogue bats eyelashes*

Wolverine: Okay. *Cuts off Edward's arm.

Stefan: AAAHHHHHHHHH! *Looks at the missing arm*

I think you made Heart-Broken proud.

Rogue: We all KNOW why you want Stef to be a girl Eddie - you WANT him don't cha... Well think again I like Steffie a whole lot more than I like you so stay away from him you pussy.

Edward: Ew!

Pam what do you say, me, you and wolverine in the back room?

Pam: Yeah.

You're in Eric's body and Wolverine is in Jacob's.

Pam: I don't see a problem.

Wolverine: I don't see one either.

Rogue: Whose watching today?

Jacob: Me!

Rogue: BTW - I have successfully downloaded a copy of Eclipse I will NEVER pay for anything twilight - BTW Eddie you look like you haven't taken a bath since you were turned - Eric do something about him - he STINKS. The only reason I got Eclipse is to drool over Alex Meraz and Taylor Lautner - and I just like Jane for some reason.

Edward: I take bathes! But that Robert doesn't!

Rogue: Dean I dare you to dress up as batman for the next 5 chapters.

Dean: Fine. *walks to the dressing room*

Batman?

Stefan: Who doesn't like batman?

Damon: Mel Gibson.

You're bad. But is it wrong to love Jane as much as Alice.

Alice: I hope you're kidding.

…Yes.

Rogue: Pam, Wolverine - to the backroom.

Pam: Alright.

Wolverine: …*Walks to the backroom*

Rogue: *Rogue kisses Chi making her eyes turn into the back of her head, then Rogue sucks on the chi a pet's neck marking her*

Damon: That's MY BODY YOU'RE MAKING OUT WITH!

Rogue: I know the difference!

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: Go swim in the ocean D - I think you're about to explode.

Damon: …I HATE YOU! *Folds arms*

*Laughs* Okay…wait a minute where's Jack?

Jack: Right here love.

He's on the wall.

Jack: I'm Spiderman!

….Wow?

Zero: I think I'm drunk. *Let's out a breathe* This is the last time I'll do that.

BroadwayAngelLyric said Damon, Pam, and Eric just give me the hit list and I'll get Zero and your awards will be in the bag for next year.

Eric: Alright.

Damon: Sure.

Broadway: Damon, I appreciate that you would take me with you. Great minds think alike. People like us are NOT soulless bastards, we are pioneers in awesomeness and some people can't handle our awesome. *cough*Stefan*cough*

Stefan: Evil blob.

Broadway: Chi, why don't you just turn yourself into a supernatural creature in this story to fight back against some crazy people? Namely Stefan's horny ass.

*Thinks* What would I turn myself into? *Shrugs* I'll get let you guys decide.

Broadway: Speaking of Stefan, you called me violent. I'll show you violent. Damon, wanna help me drain the blood from Stefan's bunny collection and not share? Plus, we can make him watch while you make out with Elena 3 Stefan, I wasn't joking about telling Elena about you cheating. I guess she stopped putting out for you, since in the Fangirls Anonymous support group, I hear you have a horrible case of blue balls. Plus, I told them you're gay :)

Stefan: Just stand way from the bunnies and you can have Elena. *Waves the nub*

Ouch.

Jack. Booze. Backroom. Now.

Jack: I'm Spiderman now.

Broadway: Well Spiderman. Booze. Backroom. Now.

Jack: Yay!

Edward, is Bob dead yet?

Bob, fuck you. Stupid MOFO.

Bob: I hope you find pieces of me in your food or drink. YOU'RE SOUL IS AS GOOD AS MINES!

Broadway: Zero, here a shotgun go crazy. Bye guys.

Zero: *Shoot random places*

*Ducks.

Damon: Damn it! Why would you give him a gun!

Broadway: It's fun.

Zero: *Done shooting* I got that out of my system.

Stefan: You think?

Edward: *Shakes head*

*Sighs* This place will be in ruins before the show is over.

Sam: So true.

BeatrixMayfeir says Holy crap! Don't worry Chi! I'm searching in my books for a solution and I'll call Bobby for some help! But I think I know who do that: it must be Gabriel!

Dean: Tricky bastard.

Beatrix: But I want to make out with you while Damon can't do anything to stop me*smile*!

Yay!

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

I can't feel it.

Damon: You will when I grab a bat!

Beatrix: And Damon you know me well I was thinking to Halle Berry too!

Damon: What can I say? I have good taste.

Beatrix: Stefan when did you get the tattoo on your arm and why? Is the only you have? I have two! Ok bye I'm going to do research I'll be back soon promise.

Stefan: I just wanted one. I have a few others.

Damon: Pictures of your bunnies?

Stefan: …Leave me alone.

LadySalvatore says Haha oh dear, I just adore this story. Damon, wanna come into the back room with me? We can have wild sex and then you can drain me if you'd like :) By the way, Edward has no pubes and Bob needs to DIE!

Damon: You say yes Charity and I will kill you.

Wha….

Damon: I'm watching you.

What I do?

Damon: Wait until I get in my body and I'll show you a good time.

Whore!

Damon: The best.

*Rolls eyes*

dirtdevil76 says Can you believe VD won seven awards at the Teen Choice? I'm happy they won over Glee ^_^

Damon: We better had! Or death will befall them!

Stefan: Still can't take you serious in Chi's body.

Damon: Burn in hell you bastard!

dirtdevil: Btw question for you Chi! "Who do you think is hotter Taylor Lautner as Jacob Black or Chris Riggi as Jacob Black?"

….Chris is hot.

FutureActressKS: Stefan :O The whole switching thing through me off. I would never hit you purposely! *Hands him mega huge bunny*

You should name him Mega!

Stefan: That's a big bunny.

FutureActress: Edward Here's the hit you should've received last time. *Putting all strength into hitting him on the back of the head with a hammer.

Edward: OW!

FutureActress: I got you!

Edward: *Hold head*

FutureActress: Damon I'll still never let go! *Jumps on his back* Backroom, maybe?

I'm still Chi…in here.

FutureActress: Edweirdo, Every chapter, I will find some way to torture you, even if I have to find someone to help me. *hits him again with hammer*

Edward: You know you're busting Stefan's head!

FutureActress: You're in his body for the time being. So you're my bitch. *Hits him again*

Edward: OW! I hope you get ran over…*Gets hit again*

FutureActress: Stefan, Sorry, sorry, sorry, I still don't know how I can make it up to you. *hands 5 more bunnies*

More to add.

Stefan: Yeah.

Lestat: You're so cute. Now pull your pants down.

Stefan: ….THE HELL!

FutureActress: Damon- Protect me! Bob the creep won't leave me alone! I swear he did show up in the form of a cheese burger one day at my place, hoping he could steal my soul! You can't have it, Bob!

Bob: You sure have a soul?

FutureActress: *Twitches* You want to run that by me again? *Holds up a blowtorch*

Now I remember! Cyborg ate him!

Damon: Huh?

On an episode of Teen Titans Cyborg ate Bob's look a like! We need Cyborg!

Sam: Does he have a soul?

Not sure but this plan is perfect!

Damon: Right. *Rolls eyes*

FutureActress: To everyone - *hugs everyone except for Edward and Bob* There's enough love for me to spread around.

Edward: I want to throw you in a wood chipper.

Bob: Eat the Cheeseburger next time. *Evil smirk*

FutureActress: *ducks behind Damon* Damon- I'll do anything for you. *is wearing vervain in ankle bracelet but no one knows it* I think I can handle you.

Yeah…I'm still in here.

Damon: I really hope a fan girl drags you back there.

Stefan: You bad you won't allow them.

Damon: I'm a fickle person.

Ash: Can I put my two cents in?

Damon: Die!

Ash: *Kicks him in the leg* Bitch.

Damon: *Hops around* Just wait till I get my body back!

FutureActress: Stefan- Okay so your eyebrows are huge, so what? I still love you, too. *gives hug*

Stefan: I cut them.

Not on the show you're on.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

Spoiiled: *Does a back flip and lands in front of me*

Cool.

Damon: She like a ninja!

I like ninja! *Claps hands and laugh*

Damon: …*Slap me upside my head*

Ruin my fun.

Spoiiled: *Throws a black box at bob*

Bob: Huh?

The black box lights up and Bob disappear.

…So cool!

Spoiiled: *Grabs the box* I'll dispose of this. *Points at Edward* Your next you undead emo bitch. *Disappears in black smoke*

Epic!

Stefan: I just hope I change before that happened.

You'll be killed by her epicness.

Damon: It was okay. I've seen better.

Alice: …Wow.

Jack: I must be sober. *Walks away*

Dean: What I miss?

Castiel: Nothing much.

*laughs* Seth looks so hot in the batman uniform!

Seth: Was that why you took so long!

Dean: ….No?

Seth: *Flicks him off*

LeLelurvsGlee says This is beyond funny. This is my favorite fanfic of all time. Nothing could ever compare. First off I have to say my favorite person on this show has changed.

Stefan: Huh?

LeLe: It's now Jack instead of Stefan. Sorry Stefan. -hands jack lots of rum-. So I don't know if you guys will be changed back or not. So if your not I wanna beat up Damon in chi's body.

Hey! I can't heal like the others.

Damon: Sucks for you Chi a pet.

Stop calling me that!

LeLe: Jack I wanna be like you when i grow up. *Swoons and bats eyelashes*

Eric: You sure?

Yeah.

LeLe: I can choose my role models thank you very much.

Damon: Okay.

LeLe: Edward fuck you! Bob I hate you. Chi I think bob should talk to his mom for the rest of the show.

Bob's not here right now.

Ash: Can we take a message?

xXspoiiledheartXx said Chi- im so sorry your in Damon's body you I hope none of you have to use the bathroom good luck and thanks I wont let you down Chi.

You captured Bob. You deserve an epic…

Jack: Sandwich.

Huh? Really…a sandwich.

Jack: It's very epic.

Damon: I fucking hate that word! It's up there with ubber!

Castiel: When will you never be angry?

Damon: When all you bastards leave. Go away. Mostly Eric!

Eric: I don't know what I want…*Looks innocent* Chi, who's in your body and won't run away or you in Chi's body who can't fight me.

Damon: STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!

Dbz rox writes Omg lol this is going to be very interesting...btw congrats on 50 chapters! I'm about to post my 50th story soon:) Awesome!

Dbz: Anyways Damon, how does it feel to be in a girl's body?

Damon: I wonder how your dad feels in his.

That's kind of new.

Damon: I hate everyone equally.

Dbz: Stefan Haha you're in Edward's body now! You're a vampire fairy.

Stefan: *Growls*

..son. says Hey kitten. Dare you and Damon to be exclusive with each other for two chapters! Have a good day. Later stranger danger. Peace out.

O.O really?

Damon: *Mockingly* It's a dare.

…Fine but I doubt that….

Damon: I'll do it.

WHAT!

Damon: To prove that I'm not that big of a whore.

Stefan: Pfft. *Starts laughing*

Dean: For two chapters?

Damon: Yes.

I want to bet.

Damon: Fine.

If you fail the dare then I want you to post two Mature fics about you and Eric.

Damon: …I fucking hate you. But if I win all your yaoi collection is going to the trash.

No!

Damon: THEIR GAY, THEY DON'T WANT YOU!

*Growls* Fine.

Vampirewithasecret writes Chi I will come in and kick bobs ass if you like! He cant steal my soul because well...I don't have one!:DD Lol. I think he's taken care of but how he is…I'll take you up on that offer.

Vampire: Stefan I felt really bad for you when I read the last chappie!

Stefan: I do too.

Vampire: Edward You do anything while in Stefan's Body...I'LL KILL YOU!

Edward: Back off or I'll send my Twi-hards to kill you! And they are not nice!

StrawberriKiwies & Jashin says Jashin[my sis] dares Damon 2 run over Edweirdo's nuts wit a motorcycle.

But I'll hurt Stefan.

Damon: Tough luck Damon now hurry up and run over my brother's balls.

Stefan: It's a dare.

*Hops on a motorcycle and cries* I'm sorry Stefan.

Damon: Just hurry up and be a man about it!

*Nods* Stefan….

Stefan: *Closes eyes*

*Runs over his nuts and cries* I hurt Stefan!

Edward: *Laughs*

Strawberri: SAM, CASTIEL AND STEFAN SUPER LONG HUG TIME*Last whole chapter and then sum*

You're hugging Edward. He's in Stefan's body.

Jashin: DEAN, DAMON, AND JACK SUPER LONG HUG TIME*Last whole chapter and then sum*

…Okay.

Strawberri & Jashin: we dare u 2 let us beat up Barney. "DAMON DOESN'T YOUR BAD ROMANCE SO DIE YOU PEDOFILE DINO"

Damon: If you can find that bastard. It's like trying to find Waldo! It just find the purple gay dinosaur who would rape your kids.

Strawberri: Sam, Dean, & Cas: We dare you 2 do littlekuribos leather pants video in cosplay and detail

Sam=Marik

Castiel=Bakura

Dean=Atem

*Can find on youtube type leather pants then click 1st thing on page*

Sam: Not with him.

Castiel: Same here.

*Cries* It's a dare!

Damon: BE A MAN!

I'M A ….GIRRLLLL! *Goes to the corner and cries*

Damon: *Growls* YOU HAVE BALLS NOW!

…I CRUSH STEFAN'S BALLLLLLSSSSS!

Stefan: *Rolls around the room*

Wolverine: I felt that one.

Damon: I wonder if Bob is dead.

He's not here. He got kid….Crap.

Bob: I'm back!

O.O .

Strawberri: I have a way 2 kill bob*Draws Jashin symbol takes some of bobs bloods licks it then stabs self in heart* DIE YOU TUFU SON OF A ITCH!*Jashin is a god from Naruto my sis is just using name its meant 2 be itch*

Pretty blood. *Claps*

Alice: *Smiles* Your easy to amuse.

*Nods* But you guys got to…your kidding me.

Sam & Castiel fighting.

….Really?

Dean: Yep.

*Shakes head*

Anneryn: Chi*hands you a potion that will reverse the body switch*

Thank you! …What do I do with it?

Damon: *Grabs the bottle out of my hand* Well sprinkle it on everyone. *Opens it and throws it on everyone*

After a few seconds.

It works! Yay!

Damon: Damn right.

Edward: *Rolls on the floor*

Stefan: Bastard.

Anneryn: Dean, I think we should go to the back room now. *mischievous grin*

Dean: Yeah. I want to get out of here. *walks to the backroom*

Okay…Huh?

Stefan: What?

They didn't use a name.

Damon: We'll call them…

No.

Damon: I didn't even say anything!

We're call them um…o.O.

Damon: Stupid.

Fine we'll call them blank.

Damon: Still stupid.

It's better than what you as about to say!

Damon: Whatever.

Blank said Ooohh i luv ur story! Please do degrassi, pretty little liars, make It or break it, life unexpected, and icarly! Thank you!

Damon: Sam is a bitch.

I like Sam!

Damon: Please chock miss angel over here.

Whatever. XOLittleGreenMonsterXO says Argh! Why can't you die already, Edward? i thought i killed you! *Gasp* are you a ghost? *starts muttering in Chinese* 他怎么能是鬼啊？我还以为吸血鬼一死就死了。。。他怎么还能回来啊... Yep it just came out like squares.

Where's Jez? JEZEBEL!

Ash: No. Don't you dare bring her here!

Damon: let's bring her to even things out.

Ash: *Pushes the wall*

Damon: 1 Damon, 0 you.

Okay. I want to thank StrawberriKiwies, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Vie, Pawprint25, MinaFTW, Rogue Assasin, BroadwayAngelLyric, BeatrixMayfeir, LadySalvatore, dirtdevil76, FutureActressKS, LeLelurvsGlee, xXspoiiledheartXx, dbz rox, ..son, Vampirewithasecret, Jashin, blank, and XOLittleGreenMonsterXO for reviews and questions. Peace.

Damon: Getting out of here.

Stefan: And trying not to eat bunnies.

*Gasp*

Stefan: I'm almost healed.

Bye guys and sorry I'm late. I had midterms to study for. Please don't be mad. =)


	53. Don't fuck with Charlie!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Good Luck Charlie!

Teddy: Hey Charlie! I want you to see something cool! Real vampires! *Points the camera to the Salvatore*

Damon: Get that out of my face.

PJ: Is he really a vampire? *Pokes Stefan in the arm* I don't trust you.

Stefan: Then please stop poking me. *Twitch*

Teddy: See. Not that scary! Well beside that guy's eyebrows.

Stefan: ….

PJ: Are you two like Twilight vampires?

Damon & Stefan: *Wrinkles their faces in disgust* No!

Charlie: *Laughs then claps her hands*

PJ: Go back inside Charlie! They might snap and kill everyone!

Damon: Like I'm really going to kill a baby.

Stefan: I really wouldn't doubt it.

Damon: True.

Teddy: Let's go now. But one question before we go.

Stefan: Huh?

Teddy: Do you know Edward Cullen? I a total fangirl of his.

Damon: I FU…*Gets hit in the head with a stake*

Stefan: *Gets hit with a stake too* OW!

Charlie: *Laughs before throwing another one at Damon*

Damon: You little…

Charlie: *Throws sliver*

Damon: *Hits his cheek* OW!

Teddy & PJ: O.O!

Stefan: *Grabs Damon and drags him away from Charlie*

Damon: I'M GOING TO KILL THAT LITTLE MONSTER!

Charlie: *Starts clapping*

* * *

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You got beat up by a baby?

Damon: *Growls* Shut up.

Stefan: *Laughs* I had to drag him away.

Damon: *Growls*

Alice: Pathic, going after a little kid.

Eric: This show is going to be interesting.

Yeah me and Damon have to be 'Exclusive' I bet it will be easier for me.

Damon: There's no fucking way I'm writing a fic about fucking Eric.

Eric: You know you wanna. *Licks his lips*

Damon: *Shivers*

Why don't we…why is half the room pitch black?

Dean: I don't know but if something comes out will kick its ass.

Okay. LeLelurvsGlee said Okay, okay so Jack I have dare for you. I dare you to visit every bar around the world.

Jack: I question is what bar haven't I been around the world?

It's just a dare Jack.

Jack: Oh, well Loves I will go as soon as I'm not needed here.

Damon: Now would be good.

Jack: Shut it you…*Falls to the ground*

LeLe: Oooh and Chi can they go on good luck Charlie?

Lol Damon got beat up by Charlie!

Damon: Shut UP!

LeLe: Edward, go fuck yourself and Stefan im surprised you would choose your bunnies over Elena.

Edward: Why don't you do the same thing?

Stefan: I grown some what attached to them.

Heart-Broken-In-Love….

Stefan: *Sighs* Fuck…

Heart-Broken: Yay your back to normal!*claps hands in amusement*This story makes me laugh and yes Chi I am very proud all the pain that Stefan was in this chapter!

Stefan: Yeah I bet you do. Makes me wonder what you would do to Bill from True Blood?

Heart-Broken: *plays Bucky done gun by M.I.A.* My fave song! *starts dancing to it but more whoreish then has too*

*Whispers to Stefan* Where's the music coming from?

Stefan: She probably has a radio where her soul use to be…if she had one.

Heart-Broken: Stefan, Damon, and Edward Guess what fags? You all piss me off and I found out I really am a demon. So that just means more pain for you all.*uses awesome Demon powers on them*

O.O. They fly and go boom.

Alice: *Nods*

Heart-Broken: Seth, Omg so you're the one in the batman suit then? That is hot!

Seth: Thanks.

Dean: I'm wearing one too!

Heart-Broken: Can I have another lap dance please?

Seth: Does that mean I can get out of this batman costume?

Heart-Broken: *Drags him to the backroom*

Cosplay fetish?

Damon: Says the girl who thinks people with cat ears are hot.

*Shrugs* Yeah.

Sam: Charity aren't Japanese boys' way better then British boys? This girl was calling me prejudice because i think British boys are ugly that's not prejudice is it?

Maybe Japanese guys are what you prefer. Like my brother thinks Mexican woman are hotter than Chinese woman. While I just love both. We all what something that attracted to on the outside. It just means that were humans…or somewhat. But I love British accents and Scottish accent. So hot! But I don't think its prejudice.

Heart-Broken: Hehe I'm gonna be nice to chi... *smiles at chi* Eric and Pam hold Alice and Damon back now! *smiles at Chi and makes out with her grabbing her ass*

*Blushes*

Damon: *Smirks* Are you breaking our agreement.

*Mumbles something*

Heart-Broken: Did you enjoy that?

No? …*Blushes*

Damon: Liar! You're blushing, you lost the bet!

I said… No?

Damon: No?

I like it but I didn't do it on purpose.

Damon: Say by to your yaoi.

NO!

Heart-Broken: Zero*Hands zero biggest and most powerful gun ever made.* Have fun!

Zero: *Evil smirk* Let's play vamps.

Heart-Broken: *Sing sweetly* Bob *kills Bobs daddy* You want to apologize to Chi for changing her into Damon?

Bob: KILL THAT BASTARD! LET ME WATCH HIS BLOOD ROOL DOWN FROM HISTHROAT!

Heart-Broken: Talk about Daddy issues!

*Nods*

Heart-Broken: Edward, You know what? I like fire do you like fire? You do? Okay!*sets Edward on fire after tying Stefan too him*

Stefan: DAMN IT!

Edward: AWW!

Heart-Broken: Now you can both fuck while you burn alive aha!

Damon: Hahahaha!

Vampirewithasecret says Chi, I am so glad you got your body back! I think we should have Fred (spaghetti monster from my story) and bob fight to the death! Yeah! I wonder how would win?

Damon: Money on Bob. The bastard is unkillable.

We can't count Fred out.

Dean: He's probably like that Fred on youtube.

…Then Bob is so going to die.

xXspoiiledheartXx said Chi- thanks for letting me be on the show and get rid of Bob just let Edward noe im coming back for him and tht he should be happy Stefan was in his body or he would have died. Oh and how bad was it being in Damon body?

Edward: *huffs* What can you do that is worst then that demon called Heart-Broken?

It was kinda fun…I was stripping in front of a mirror.

Damon: *Twitches then slaps me in the back of my head*

OW!

Castiel: Damon- really you've seen better i doubt tht (other then Chi of course cuz Chi is EPIC!)

Damon: Like what you what started Chi!

What's wrong with that word?

Damon: If someone ever says the word ubber prepare to never stand again.

Stop threating me!

Damon: I'm just warning you. *Growls*

FutureActressKS: Edward*hits him on the head with fist* I have run out of ideas of what to use.

Edward: *Sticks his tongue out* I hope you hurt your fist!

FutureActress: To everyone else, any suggestions?

Stefan: Burn him, hang him over a shark filled water tank and send him to hell!

FutureActress: Damon in Chi's body- kind of still throwing me off. *kisses him* but that was kind of hot.

Damon: I did not do that on purpose.

See. *Smirk*

Ash: How did you like being in her body,

Damon: At least I wasn't stripping in front of a mirror!

You punished me already.

Damon: *Twitch* Not enough.

*Sighs* XOLittleGreenMonsterXO wrote JEZEBEL! jezebeljezebeljezebeljezebel... i will keep calling her by her full name until she gets here! *whispers to Chi* if she does come on and asks who called her by her full name, point at ASH! *evil grin* (don't tell him!)

Jez: Who keeps CALLING ME!

…*Points to Ash*

Ash: *Looks at me then her* What?

Jez: You're dead.

Ash: …Fuck.

The next person…*Ducks* Was that a desk?

Damon: …

Ash: Bring it on!

Jez: Oh believe me, it's already here!

O.O. Scary.

Sam: *Nervous laugh* Lady Salvatore asked Damon, Why is it that you will have sex with any fan girl that asks… yet you won't even let Chi go near another guy? How about you tell us all how much you really like her. This is kinda a dare as well :)

Damon: We've been through this!

Eric: Interesting.

Damon: I not ….

Alice: It's a dare big guy.

Damon: How I feel for the brat is no one's business. I don't care if it's a dare or not.

Alice & Jez: Sissy!

Damon: Jump into hell where you belong. I'll see you soon.

Answer the question!

Damon: ….*Slaps me on the back of my head* There it answered the question.

OW! Stop hitting me!

Damon: Then…shut…up?

What?

Damon: There's something on the other side of the room.

I know! Maybe it's Jason or Freddy or my mom.

Damon: Your mom?

She's very scary sometimes. I don't fuck with her at all.

Damon: *Sighs*

BroadwayAngelLyric says Jack, were you actually sober last chapter? Damn that body switch. Call 911, we need to get some booze in you pronto.*hands Jack his own fully-stocked bar*

Jack: Yes!

You're still wearing the Spiderman suit.

Jack: Yes! Because I'm the captain of the Black Pearl and this show. You land lubbers could have made it without me.

Damon: We can still make it without you. You dirty ass bastard. Take a shower!

Jack: Why should I deny the loves of my smell? It drives them crazy.

Dean: *Mumbles* Like you?

Jack: They still love me.

Damon, you're back in your own body! *hugs Damon* I was scared that you would like being human and end up like *shudders* Stefan. But you're your badass self again, thank goodness. Try to stay faithful this and next chapter, don't let the fangirls win.

Damon: It's fucking hard.

*Sarcastically* Why don't you think that I'm Elena? Maybe it will make you faithful then.

Damon: Cute but not that cute kid.

*Folds arms and looks away* Don't talk to me no more.

Damon: …What?

*Walks away*

Damon: Get back here! *Growls*

Broadway: Chi, you should do a fangirl war. That could take an entire chapter, though. We fangirls are ruthless beings.

That actually sounds really good. So whose sides are you guys on?

Broadway: Bob, if you're still gone, I don't miss you. If you came back, fuck you.

Bob: Your mom misses me.

Yep the mom jokes.

Damon: Why are you walking to Eric?

You keep away from you…jerk.

Lestat: I sense trouble for the two lovers.

Damon & Me: No.

Broadway: Stefan, would it kill you to find other animals to eat? Are you even STRONG enough to tackle a mountain lion? I dare you to let Damon teach you a course on how to be a good vampire.

Stefan: Mountain lion's sounds tasty but I've been after bears though. Fine teach me…can I just learn from Eric?

Eric: If you want to be bended over?

Lestat: That's mine.

Broadway: Edward, you suck. Since you weren't the one to get rid of Bob, all earlier stated methods of killing Bella shall proceed. *hands Damon a cocktail made from Bella's blood and makes Jack a Bloody Mary* Edward, here's her head, you can have whatever's left of it. *smiles devilishly*

Edward: I can still fuck it right?

O.O! Nasty.

Broadway: Zero, here's a bomb but you can only use it on one person. Choose wisely.

Zero: *Grabs the bomb and throws it right between Edward and Bob*

*Boom*

*Ducks* She said one!

Zero: It wasn't a dare.

Broadway: Eric and Pam, I didn't really notice that you two had switched. You both must really love sex.

Pam: We should try it again.

Eric: *Nods*

Breakfastclub87 says Dean You are so damn hot! Super long backroom time!

Dean: Huh?

Breakfastclub: *Grabs Dean's collar and drags him to the backroom*

Sam: *Twitch* Chi are you a Hana Kimi fan?

Yes. It's so cool.

Breakfastclub: Damon have you always been a whore or did you start after you became a vampire?

Damon: It was after I was a vampire.

Could have fooled me?

Damon: Get over here right now!

I can be faithful right here! Baka!

Damon: Did you just call me a cow?

I called you an idiot! *Sticks tongue out*

Damon: Just you wait!

Breakfastclub: Stefan, I am so sorry that you had to be in the fairy's body. *gives sympathetic hug*

Stefan: The horror is over and I'm still alive.

Rouge Assasin: Damon - you hurt my feelings - I thought we had an understanding...

Seeing as you're good looking you better apologize for saying you hate me or I'll make the shit I do to Bob and Eddie look like a happy fucking ending ... you don't want a pissed of Rogue on your hands - ask Bob...

Bob: *Bob sit's in corner holding Edward and sucking his thumb* Eddie She scares me... That demon woman!

Edward: me tooo... Chi save us!

Damon: I hate everybody. So more then others. Your bearable, now help me get Chi back!

No.

Damon: I don't want to go near him.

Eric: You know you want it.

Damon: *Shivers*

Rogue: *Cocks shotgun and blows hole through Bob's head* man that was like poetry.

O.O. R.I.P Bob?

Rogue: *Smiles* So Stef what do you think of the makeover Chi gave your body?

Stefan: It's okay. If she didn't take some skin with her.

I'm sorry! But you look good now.

Stefan: Now.

Okay I won't cut your hair ever again.

Stefan: Yeah.

Rogue: Awww Castiel you're such a cutie pie - Sam how can you be angry with a face as angelic as he's?

Sam: Because he's a brother stealing bastard!

Castiel: *Growls*

Dean: *Sighs*

Rogue: Damon and Stefan I dare the 2 of you to save each other from Eric and Lestat whenever they try to rape you guys or when fangirls try to get them to rape you.

Damon: Fine. Noe Stefan help me get her.

I'm not a cat!

Damon: Don't make me use the big guns.

*Turns away*

Alice: She's so cute.

Damon: Not helping.

Alice: Never said I was.

Rogue: Dean would you LIKE to be raped by Eric?

Dean: Maybe…*Whispers* Yes.

That wouldn't be called rape then.

Dean: She asked the question and I'm willing to answer.

Rogue: And big D if I bring your mom on she'll be a vamp and I'll make her paddle your stuck up, whiny, egoistic in front of Stefan - your mom would spank you in front of your baby bro - that to me is the ultimate humiliation - not to mention... Chi will be watching...

Damon: I'm not scared of my mom.

Eric: I might enjoy watching it.

Rogue: Chi you shouldn't complain about your C's I'd die for them - I have DD's and they kill my fucking back not to mention the fact that I can NEVER get a guy to look higher than my chest ... unless he's GAY.

I got grope by some gay guy asking me if they were real. It was very awkward. But I'll never complain again!

Rogue: Fine then Bob - I'll get Seth to screw your mom - Guys Seth is NOT the hottest wolf - he's freaking 16 and has a man crush on Eddie the hottest Twi wolf next to Jake is Paul (Yum)

I think their all hot cause their shirtless. *Happy face*

Damon: Are you cheating on me emotionally?

No.

Damon: ….

I'm not!

Pam: This is not ending well.

Sam: Yeah.

Rogue: So Chi did you read that summary of the books? What do you think?

A part of me was thinking when is this bitch gonna die! I didn't know you wrote a short story about Bonnie and Damon. The more you know. Why they kill Harry! I like him and wanted to see him naked.

Rogue: I seriously think the ideal ending to the VD books would be for either both brothers to die or for Stefan to turn human and have Elena and Damon to become Vamp again and end up with Bonnie. Or... For Elena to get compelled by Stefan to forgetting they ever existed so she can lead a normal life while Stef and D becomes the new vampire Hierarchy... In the books after Katherine and Klaus are killed Damon is the most powerful vampire due to all the human blood he consumes - and Damon and Stef are over 500 years old.

Wow. Wikipedia is a powerful thing.

Stefan: *Nods*

Rogue: Bob you can't eat my fucking soul you prick - I already gave it over to Eric - Cause he's awesome and I so think he's going to be vampire king supreme but there are these really, REALLY sad rumors that Harris is going to kill off Eric so Sookie can go fuck some Elf! I want to SCREAM - I LOVE you Eric!

An elf? See this is why I need to read the books because I didn't know that there are elves now. What else that I don't know?

Bob: I HOPE MY BROTHER EATS YOU!

Eric: *Shrugs* Death doesn't scare me.

Rogue: Gosh I'm just going on and on aren't I - mind me have the flu and drugged like a flying monkey - don't think that even makes sense. Jakey Baby you enjoy the show yesterday? Whose joining me and Pam today?

Castiel: *Raises hand*

Rogue: Whose watching?

Alice: Me!

Rogue: Edward don't lie - we haven't seen you even mention a bath in the books just like Bella never brushes her teeth...

Edward: That's our business.

Rogue: Dean looking good - I LOVE batman - Sam and Cas I think I'm going to take dean away from you - Pussy beats ass any day...

Sam: Says you.

Castiel: *Nods*

Rogue: Hey Char did you read that story I PM'd you? It made me laugh especially the part where Stefan was talking about his period!

It was funny as heck!

Rogue:*Rogue kisses Chi and presses their bodies really, REALLY close together - Pam licks lips*Chi you should join me and Pam again sometime - I don't think Sookie and Alice would be into a threesome with us *Rogue pouts*

*Blushes and almost melts* I'm on a dare.

Alice: I'll take her place.

Rogue: Oh yeah Eddie I DARE you to dance for 'Drop drill and work' dressed as a hoola girl - I know it's an old song from my high school days but it's awesome.

Edward: …What?

Rogue: It's a dare. Or you can die *Holds a bat with spikes at the end*

Edward: *Sighs* Give me the hoola girl outfit.

Here. *Hands it to Edward*

Damon: Gotta cha. *Grabs me by the waist*

Eep!

Stefan: …*Presses a button to play music*

Edward: *Dances*

Rogue: *Laugh*

Alice: *Laughs*

Rogue: *Turns to Stefan* Stefan you DID eat Peter Rabbit! WHY? *Rogue tightens grip on Stefan's throat and shakes him - a lot - he's probably going to get real dizzy*

Stefan: OOOOWWWWW!

Rogue: I'm real sorry you had to grow a vagina and get your balls run over and arm cut off... It was meant for Edward but don't worry Stef I have more sinister plans for that son of a ill be gotten whore.

Edward: What?

Stefan: Seeing that is the greatest apology ever.

Rogue: Wishing you well on your mid terms Char - if you think college is hard wait till you start working, you'll wanna crawl back into your mother's womb.

Thanks. Let me go!

Damon: Nope. Not until we talk.

Save me!

BeatrixMayfeir says Hey everybody! I'm glad you are all back to normal! Oh god Cas I'm so happy you are out of that bastard*hug and kiss him*!

Sam: Haha. *Rolls eyes*

Castiel: *Hugs back* Thank you

Beatrix: By the way I found Gabriel: he did that to say hi to Sam Dean and Cas since God brought him back. He missed you guys! Ehi Dean if you are Batman Cas can be Robin that would be nice and Sam is too tall for that!

Castiel: Yeah Dean. We'll make a nice pair.

Sam: *Growls*

Beatrix: Stefan you should name your bunnies with numbers because they won't live long after your dare it's over.

Stefan: I'm going after bears now. I'm just going to keep them as pets.

Beatrix: Jack you are a cooler Spiderman than Tobey Maguire that's for sure!

Jack: I know! Thank you love.

Beatrix: Chi can I give you a hug at least or even the hug are off limits for the dare? Well I should take Dean and Cas in the backroom to cheer me up!

Dean: Where is Chi…Damon's gone too.

Eric: *Shrugs* Don't care.

Beatrix: Oh well. *Drags Dean and Castile to the backroom*

Sam: *Growls and eyes start to flicker black*

Pam: ..son. writes Hello kitten. Which is your favorite nickname that you like being called out of the many that you have in this fanfiction?

Chi. I think it's cute.

Sam: Where have you been?

Dressing room.

Damon: Say anything about what I said and I will kill you.

Okay.

Lestat: Weird vibes.

Anneryn7 says Chi, We couldn't be mad, and if people are mad, just have Damon shank them in there sleep. *grin* *hug*

Thanks. *Smiles*

Anneryn: Eric So... I forgot how good you are with your hands... You should definitely remind me. *smirk*

Eric: Yeah I should.

MinaFTW wrote yeah vd books suck. especially Elena in them, she is such a hoe ass bitch whore motherfuckin kunt.

O.O.

Mina: Now that i got that out of my system. Why won't you bring Bonnie on the show? Do you not like her or something?

I love Bonnie and I'll bring her on here…so please don't kill me!

Mina: Damon you know why im so bitchy to you, it's because you don't satisfy me.

Sam, Dean, Stefan, & Me: Ouch!

Damon: You wasn't my type anyway.

Mina: Dean you are my sexy dirty blonde.

Dean: Thanks?

Mina: Random fact, Im listening to Shakira right now. Whenever, where ever.

She's so hot.

Mina: to Stefan yeah you're not deformed now!

Stefan: *Laughs* No more sparkles on me now. Or Lost arm or balls.

Vie says Chi bring Bonnie on she us a thousand time spunkier than these hood rats that you call women (no offense Pam).

Alice: Hey!

Vie: At least think about it..oooo being Sookie's Bff-Tara; she's cool. BTW.

I'll keep her in mind. Poor thing, that Franklin guy is crazy and not in a good way.

Vie: I still want Dean and Damon in an orgy with me. Oh and can ya'll leave Stefan alone he is so not Edwardesqe (no offense Edward). Stefan is hella handsome even though my heart belongs to...Damon!

Damon: Just offend him!

Edward: Shut up!

StrawberriKiwies said you weren't suppose to write stuff in the *'s i was telling somethin don't put in my dares. Sorry about that. *Smiles* Please don't kill me.

Sam: Alright the show is over.

And so is my mid terms. Back to everything being boring again! I want to thank LeLelurvsGlee, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Vampirewithasecret, xXspoiiledheartXx, FutureActressKS, pawprint25, XOLittleGreenMonsterXO, Lady Salvatore, BroadwayAngelLyric, Breakfastclub85, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, ..son, anneryn7, MinaFTW, Vie, and StrawberriKiwies for reviews and questions. I almost forgot….my contest ends at August 20th! Peace!

Sam: Love.

Dean: And what the hell is over there?

Huh.

Bob: It's that damn Fred.

You met! *Something gets wrapped around my leg and I get pulled upside down* Your freaking killing me!

Bob: It's good time!

Damon: Says the guy who sounds like Mickey Mouse!

Dean: Bye guys. *Pulls out a gun* Come on Sam. Let's kick some ass.


	54. Fred Vs Bobnot really

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Fred VS. Bob! And other Mayhem!

*Holds the mic* Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and Girls! Creatures of the night I'm here to present out first ever Fight Fest!

Alice: *Jumps up and down* YEAH ! *punches Edward then places hands over her mouth* Oh! I'm so sorry!

Edward: It's alright. *Holds his nose*

Damon: *Laughs*

Edward: Shut up.

So anyways I found out a little more about the Supernatural anime that's coming soon!

Dean: Really?

Yeah! You guys will be dubbing it and not some lame ass voice actors!

Sam: Awesome!

*Nods* And I finally saw the second season promo of Vampire Diaries…Elena is a ….

Elena: Elena is a what?

O.O!

Lestat: Showdown.

Stefan: What are you doing here?

Elena: Just visiting.

*Mumbles* You suck *sticks my tongue out*

Elena: *slaps me in the back of my head*

Ow!

Damon: Elena…why are you here?

Elena: To watch you two chase after her.

Damon: ….*Turns his head*

I liked you on TV better! You're mean.

Elena: Yeah…I wonder why?

…Let's go on with the questions…Hi Bonnie!

Bonnie: *Points to Damon* Why?

*Blushes* It's a long story.

Elena: *Smiles Evilly* I have time.

*Whispers to Stefan* Is this Katherine? She looks as if she wants my soul.

Stefan: I think so.

Bob: Bring it on Freddie!

Fred: FUCK YOU TOFU!

Wait guys!

Bonnie: Too late.

Boom!

….Please tell me you know a spell for this Bonnie? *Cries* My roof!

Bonnie: I have you covered.

Elena #2: Hey guys.

Elena: *growls* Shit.

I knew it! *Laughs*

Elena#2: *Snarls* You're up to that again!

Elena: *gets into a fighting stance* Bring it.

…*Looks around* Girl…fight?

Bobbie: Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to the Elena vs. Fake Elena grudge match!

Where did he come from?

Damon: *Grabs my arm* Stay out of this. It's going to be ugly.

Kendra: Damon and Katherine forever!

Cindy: NO! Damon and Elena!

Kendra: Die bitch! *Tackles Cindy*

Damon: *Drags me away* Told ya.

Stefan: Guys please calm down!

Katherine & Elena: ….

Kendra: Bonnie wants to be with Stefan!

Bonnie: What!

Cindy: Stefan wants Caroline!

Bonnie: How did I get into this?

Bob: *Flies and hits Cindy in the head*

Fred: Haha MUTHAFUCKA!

Bob: *Gets up and tackles Fred* DIE!

…Yeah I need a break.

Bob: *Grabs Fred by the head and slams in into a table*

O.O….MY STUFF! *Cries*

Alice: Hey…let's go before little miss angel blows her flipping top.

Fred: *Throws balls of fire at Bob*

Louis: Thing we learn.

*Looks on the ground* It's made of something. *Picks it up* O.O…

Alice: Let's go like now.

Stefan: You good Chi?

….

Damon: It's nothing but…Ew.

Edward: Gay porn?

Alice: That's Chi's Yaoi collection.

Damon: Come on kid. You're not going to let this bother you.

….

Stefan: *Grabs Damon's arm*

Damon: Get the hell off me!

Stefan: *Growls* I'm trying to save you life.

*Walks over to Bob and Fred*

Bob: YOU BASTARD!

Fred: BITCH ASS!

*Grabs both of their heads and slam them together*

Bob & Fred: OW!

You guys messed up my stuff.

Bob: What are you going to do about it?

*Rolls up sleeves and takes out earrings* Your dead.

Fred: Fuck…

*Grabs his tongue and rips it out* You better pray. *Eyes flicker*

Bob & Fred*The best way he can*: What you going to do about it!

*Pulls out a chain saw* Too late. *Pulls the string and lifts it above my head* Bye.

* * *

Well that's over. Bonnie can you fix this?

Bonnie: Sure? What are you?

I'm me! *Smiles*

Bonnie: Right?

Damon: What a catch. *Laughs* Were the hell was that at?

Nowhere.

Stefan: You're not going to kill us.

Nope! Now let's start with the show.

Pam: Sweetie wanna change?

*Looks at the blood soaked shirt* Nope.

Alice & Edward: Was it bad that I got turned on by this?

Let's get on with the first review! Vampirewithasecret says Hey chi If Fred messes with you too much just tell him mommy said to stop! (He thinks I'm his mommy for some unknown fuckin reason) *Smile* I'm sending him back in pieces!

Elena: *Laughs*

Katherine: I just think your retard.

Alice: You just have no taste Katherine.

Jez: *Twitch* How can she have all the fun!

Stefan: ….We have a lot of girls now.

Damon: Please don't become like the View.

I hate that show.

Everyone: *Nods*

FutureActressKS: To Edward: I really don't like you. *stabs him in stomach with swords*

Edward: OW! *Falls down*

FutureActress: Hahaha!

Bonnie: Is this show always random?

*Nods*

Elena: It's cool to be different.

….I can hear a few fan girls aiming at you.

Damon: Get use to it.

FutureActress: To Stefan I love you! *hands him 20 bunnies*

Stefan: Yay!

Katherine: My lover is reduced to a bunny loving fool.

Stefan: *Picks up a bunny and smiles*

Elena: *moves close to Damon* You still single?

Damon: …Go away.

Elena: I just asked you a question.

Damon: You're going to make my time on the show really hard huh?

Elena: Depends.

FutureActress: To Damon But I love you more! *jumps on back.*

Damon: GET OUT ME!

FutureActress: *Laughs* No!

Alice: He's like a rodeo!

Katherine: *Kicks me in the leg*

OW! *Falls down* What!

Katherine: That for turning them into weak and pathetic fools!

*Mumbles* I didn't help that much.

Katherine: I don't like you, you short bitch.

-.-, your mean.

Katherine: And once everyone's gone you're a dead woman.

MinaFTW wrote Chi: hope you did well on your midterms. Starting college this year, it is gonna suck doing midterms in the summer. And I will not hurt you as long as you promise to bring in Bonnie soon.

Bonnie: I guess I'm popular.

Don't let them fool you. There are dangerous fan girls out there waiting to take your head.

Bonnie: It wouldn't be the first time.

Mina: Dean you have really grown on me I think I love you more than (glances to the side and makes sure Damon is not listening) Damon.

Everyone but Damon: O.O

Damon: What I miss?

Mina: Nothing. Just nothing. *Nervous laugh* Stefan *hugs him*, I think I love you more that you like your bunnies more over bitchass Elena. You're like the awesome vampire brother I've never had.

Elena: Am I that bad?

The plague can't even keep you down.

Elena: *Shrugs*

Mina: Edward! *blasts his balls off and kills Nessie*, why the hell can you reproduce when the sexy Salvatores' cant? So unfair!

Edward: *Rolls around on the floor then grunts* Their….pussies. *Coughs*

Mina: Damon I...

Damon: *Narrows eyes* You what?

Mina: Nothing. *Leaves chi's awesome show*

Bye! *Smiles*

Sam: xXspoiiledheartXx said Chi- sounds like fun

*Laughs*

spoiiled: Edward- maybe yur right maybe me and Heart-Broken should team up and kill yu.

Edward: *twitch* I hope you fall in a ditch ms. Epic ninja. *sticks tongue out*

Spoiiled: Damon- don't yu think this story is UBER and so EPIC.

Damon: *Twitch, twitch, twitch* Your on my list.

Burntcinnamon says Heyyy everybody! I'm back :p

Damon! I missed you, so I brought you a present!

Damon- what is it?

Me- it's a dartboard with steffie's pic on it!

Damon - you ARE awesome! Thanks!

Damon- wait a second! Why am I acting gay and happy! Jack! Did u spike my bourbon?

Jack- Love, that's m- mmmh * falls on ground*

me- is he drunk again?

Stefan- JUST when is he not drunk?

Me- oh Stef! I got you a present too! * hands Stefan a box*

Stefan- wow, another bunny. What shall I name you?

Me- can you please name it Cookie? I would love that name for a rabbit!

…Okay.

Elena: What just…

Damon: *Smiles* I love you all! *Falls on me*

…GET OFF YOUR HEAVY!

Damon: *Laughs*

Katherine: *Pops her knuckles*

Stefan: *Lifts him up* You okay?

Damon: Yeah! *Kisses Stefan on the cheek*

Everyone: O.O!

Stefan: *Drops him on the floor and walks away*

Eric: Lucky.

Pawprint25 says If there was a fan girl war I would be on Dean's side cuz he knows his way around a gun. Anyways, the story is awesome as usual.

Dean: Yeah!

Anneryn7 wrote, Kisses for everyone EXCEPT Edward && Bob :~)

Edward: We don't want your nasty ass kisses.

Bob: Yeah!

*Twitch* Please stay dead.

Bob: BRING IT BITCH!

*Growls*

Heart-Broken-In-Love: Chi, In the fangirl war can I fight Rogue? She like disrespected Seth! That is like the worstest thing! I should use my demon powers on her!

Yeah. We're doing the fangirl thing on Friday so choose teams people.

Heart-Broken: Thank you it just pissed me off because she kept going on and on!

You're welcome. Some people are quick to pick on some words but get offend when you do the same thing back to them.

Heart-Broken: Do you want me too take care of Damon? He's being so mean to you!

He's alright now…*Turns my head towards him* Isn't that right Damon.

Damon: Whatever…master. What happened a few minutes ago?

*Rolls eyes*

Heart-Broken: Who do you want me to use my evil demon powers on?

Use it on Bob. That dude is just…*Screams in frusation*

Damon: No, really what happened?

Eric: *presses a remote and a big screen pops out of no where!* Watch honey.

Damon: Ew.

*It replays Damon kissing Stefan on the cheek*

It isn't that bad, I mean it could have been worst.

Damon: O.O Worst then what!

Bonnie: You didn't fuck him.

Damon: Oh haha Bonnie.

Come on it isn't the first time you kiss Stefan and how things are your bound to kiss him again.

Damon: *Twitch*

Pam: Get Damon, he's been whiny lately.

Eric: I like it.

Lestat: Kill Edward…just because he's shiny.

Edward: Kill all these bastards!

Bonnie: Damon.

Damon: Bitch.

Bonnie: DON'T MAKE ME USE MY POWERS ON YOU!

She so cute when she's mad! *squeals*

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of my head*

Pfft!

Heart-Broken: Which fan girl do you want to fuck the most?

Pam: Rogue.

Stefan: Anneryn7.

Jack: All of em!

Huh?

Jack: Pokemon!

O.O. Someone spiked your drink too?

Jack:….. Maybe.

Damon: FutureActressKS and BroadwayAngelLyric.

Lestat: *Smiles* Stefan.

Stefan: I'm not a fan girl!

Lestat: I can turn you into one.

Stefan: *Yells*

Heart-Broken: Seth, You may not get many lines here- chi you should really give him more lines!- But don't worry in Breaking Dawn you have a lot more lines!

Seth: Yeah, Chi.

I'm sorry.

Louis: Give me more lines too!

Seth: No one cares.

Heart-Broken: Who do you want to fuck the most?

Seth: You….

Heart-Broken: *drags him to the backroom*

Bonnie: Not missing a beat huh?

Alice: Nope.

Six hours after.

Heart-broken: Edward *pops neck and grins* Lets have some fun! *fire goes up around me and all you can hear is my evil laughter as I walk towards him grinning and giggling as the fire around me intense*

O.O.

Alice: Wow human torch…ette?

Edward: *Screaming*

Heart-Broken: Guess what? I like Bella better then you but...*grabs Bella by her hair and slits her throat* She is soo annoying and pouring and plus it will give you pain*

Edward: BELLA!

Elena: …Wow I really don't want to piss her off.

*Nods*

Heart-Broken: Found a new way to torture you!*Drags Elena in grinning*

Elena: OW! Not the hair!

Heart-Broken: Elena Stefan here has been fucking every single girl that comes on here well most of them some reason they like him *rolls eyes* You should so teach him a lesson!

Elena: Really? *Grabs a bat*

Stefan: Damn snitch.

Elena: Come back here!

Alice: She can't talk. She worst then Bella.

Bonnie: She was never a saint.

Alice: You just roll with the punches.

Bonnie: *Sighs* Yep.

Heart-Broken: Actually Stephanie! I would not torture Bill as much because he is slightly better then you and Edward but he needs to shave those callipitlares as do you!

Stefan: I shaved!

Not on the show you're on.

Stefan: You're not helping. At all.

*Smiles* Sorry.

Heart-Broken: Aha! A baby beat you up! Now that is pathetic!

Damon: *Growls*

Heart-Broken: dare you to take care of a baby for one whole chapter and you can't kill it! You have to treat it like it's the love of your life! *Hands him a baby*

Damon: I hate you. *Holds it* Really I do.

Heart-Broken: Like I care. Be nice to charity you man whore oh and one thing... UBBER IS AWESOME! whatever the shit that is...What is that Chi?

I don't know but people use it when things are good.

Heart-Broken: Sookie who do you like more Bill or Eric?

Sookie: Eric.

Heart-Broken: Pam, You're like so awesome! *goes to backroom with Pam!*

Hey Damon, Heart-Broken said something else.

Damon: Can it get worst than this.

Baby: *Throws up on Damon*

Damon: *Twitch*

The baby is part demon….

Damon: Fuck!

Breakfastclub85 said I am on Team Damon and Team Dean, Chi.

Dean: Awesome!

Damon: Get this bastard off me!

Baby: *Bites hard on his hand*

Breakfast: C'mon Cas. Backroom time. *Drags him to the backroom*

Sam: Edward what's up with your abstinence? You can take human blood but you can't have sex til marriage?

Edward: Sorry for appreciate a lady before getting married. I'm not a whore like you guys.

Breakfast: Chi, Hana Kimi rocks! I'm only on Book 3 sadly, but Dr. Umeda is the bomb!

You should see the live-action version on Hana- Kimi. It's really good.

Breakfast: Dean I dare you to take off your shirt.

Dean: *takes off his shirt*

Breakfast: It's a pretty nice view, by the way.

Dean: Thanks.

Breakfast: Alice did you and Jasper split?

Alice: *Folds her arms* For the time being!

What he do?

Alice: I don't want to talk about it.

Okay.

Dean: Rogue Assasin says Awwww - Big D you're so sweet to Char

Damon: I am not sweet! *Twitches and tries not to throw the baby*

Damon that's really mean!

Damon: Fuck…This…Baby!

Baby: *Claps and giggles*

Rogue: Okay - I have a dare for both Big D and Chi they need to sing 'Something stupid' by Nicole Kidman and Robbie Williams - Corny I know but sweet - Eric you're on guitar and Pam - you're on piano. *Rogue tosses mikes to Chi and Damon*

I don't know that song.

Damon: Google it and hurry up.

Fine!

Damon: *Sighs*

Pam: Let's go this over with.

Seth: Should have let me sing.

Castiel: No one cares.

Damon & Me: I know I stand in line, until you think you have the time, to spend an evening with me, And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance, you won't be leaving with me.

So true.

Damon: Shut up.

Damon & Me: Then afterwards we drop into a quite little place, and have a drink or two, and then I go spoil it all, by saying stupid, like I love you

I see it in your eyes…Damon your suppose to sing too…

Damon: IT FUCKING BIT OFF MY HAND!

Elena: Ouch.

Bonnie: Sucks for him.

Baby: *Laughs*

Damon: It's name is not baby, change it to Satan!

But that's…

Damon: It bit my hand off. I have the right to be mean!

Rogue: *Rogue is holding little bundle*

Charity - what's that?

Rogue: Well seeing as both you and Damon are exclusive I decided to add to your dare Char this is for you. *Puts bundle in Charity's arms*

Charity: Um thanks - a doll...

Rogue: Not just any doll that's baby Salvatore - it's a doll which needs to be fed, changed, cleaned and put to sleep like a normal baby - you and Damon have to take care of her for a week - you can name her Steffy after Stefan :D

*Doll cries - Chi throws it up in fright*

Rogue: Don't do that - there's a computer chip in it which monitors how you handle the baby - if you shake it too much - it WILL DIE as vigorous shaking results in brain damage. Charity you should take care of your kid *Pam and Rogue giggle at Damon and Chi*

It's a scarier version of my baby sister when she doesn't get her way.

Damon: A week! I'm having trouble with Satan JR here.

Baby: ….

Damon: Turn it to Satan or I will.

But…

Damon: Now.

*Rolls eyes* I hope that baby eats another hand.

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

You can teach him a lesson now Heart-Broken-In-Love!

Rogue: *Rogue looks around* WTF - Why are there bunnies EVERYWHERE - Um Lestat you do realize that there's a bunny on your head?

Lestat: Yes but it's Stefan's so I like keeping it there.

*Crunching sound is heard across the room near Eric*

Stefan: Oh NO! Eric you stepped on Flopsy, Mopsy and Cotton Tail! Why God WHY! *Stefan cries*

*Rogue puts hand on Stefan's shoulder*

Rogue: You didn't sterilize the rodents did you?

*Stefan shakes head*

*Rogue blocks Stefan's eyes*

Rogue: Alice, Edward - go drink some Rabbit - leave about 20 males and 1 female - poor little bunnies... Shhh Stefan - it needs to be done or the Bunnies will take over the show - Here sing a lullaby to Baby Salvatore - maybe she'll stop crying - Damon and Chi - Bad Parents that kids been crying over 50 minutes.

I'm not good with robots!

Damon: I'll trade you.

Satan?: *Smiles*

It's plotting my death huh?

Stefan: I think so.

*Bends down and holds arms out* Come here…

Satan: *Jumps on my face*

*Screams*

Bob: MUHAHAHA!

Damon: I told you!

Rogue: *Shakes her head then cocks shot gun and blows hole through Louis head*

Everyone: O.O!

Rogue: *Smirks* What - he looked like he needed some excitement in his life.

But not a hole in his head!

Rogue: *Shrugs* It will give Lestat another hole to fuck.

Lestat: …True.

Rogue: Don't worry Stef next time I'll tweeze you're brows *Rogue pinches Stefan's cheeks* yip I'm high on flu meds like a fucking kite.

Stefan: I bet you are.

Pam: I like it.

Rogue: Damon are you telling me you wouldn't mind if your mom pulled you over her lap and spanked you in front of Chi? You're strange.

Damon: FUCK MY MOM!

She like a male version of Brenda…shit she's going to kill me.

Brenda: Yeah. Just you wait.

O.O!

Rogue: My bro was sitting and watching a VD repeat on one of the local Channels here in RSA (The one where Damon broke that Ladies neck when he was looking for Stefan) And my bro was like that's so cruel - that man is the male version of you!

Damon: Yep that sounds like her.

I like people!

Damon: I bet she didn't tell you that she repeated that same scene over and over.

….Stop telling my business.

Damon: Revenge.

Rogue: My mistake - Seth's a 15 year old noodle dick - he is NOTHING compared to Jacob and Paul the only AWESOME Clearwater is Leah ... hmm I should do A Twi VD crossover where Leah is paired off with Damon...

Damon: Is she hot?

I think so.

Damon: Cool.

Rogue: Guess WHAT with MUCH difficulty I finally managed to complete my Twific - now all I have is Moonflower and thankfully it's a Twi-TrueBlood crossover or I would have shot myself - you can check my fic out here - .net/s/5127747/1/When_the_bough_breaks warning it contains sex and Characters are very OOC.

People! Rogue has a story called When the Bought Breaks, go check it out. It's good.

Rogue: Then put a review.

Okay.

Damon: Says the person who hates writing reviews.

I will! I just get lazy sometimes and…just shut up Damon.

Satan: Damon?

Damon: Creepy ass kid.

He cute…when he's not clawing at you face.

Rogue: Yeah - everyone wonders when Elena will die - she's annoying she's like Bella part 2 except she's stuck between 2 brothers and she can't pick one and give her baby to the other because... that would be SICK. I think Damon finds Elena to be more like sport because he's picked his brother over her many times in the books - When Katherine asked him to Kill his brother he told her he'd rather stake himself - mind you Katherine was busy torturing Elena at that point. Damon did the same thing with Klaus - he would rather die that let anyone other than himself hurt Stefan - if you remember in the series when Elena got kidnapped Damon said he hopes she dies but when Stefan got taken he ricked himself for his brother - I just think Smith should kill Elena off and Leave the Salvatore's to go on immortally whoring themselves to all the pretty girls.

Elena: I'm not that bad!

Bonnie: …

Elena: Thanks for helping.

Bonnie: Nothing came to mind yet.

Rogue: Bob - shut the fuck up - Neither you or your faggot brother scare me - *Rogue cocks shot gun and blasts hole through Bob where genitals should be*

Wolverine: Is it me or is Rogue scary when she's high and holding a shotgun... and kinda hot.

Rogue: Oh yeah - you don't need to read the first 8 True Blood books - I've got them on audio Chi - and anyone else whose interested - just PM me your email address and I'll send it to you. :)*Rogue cocks shotgun and blasts Edwards knee*

…Okay. *Nervous laugh*

Lestat: I think someone should get that gun away from her - I vote Dean!

Dean: Hey! I vote Wolverine.

Wolverine: Pfft.

Rogue: Sam brother's are there to support us not fuck us - incest is Bad - stop using your Demon juju on Dean - he's a manly man - he's kind of like a nicer version of Damon with pretty eyes and nicer lips *Rogue swings shotgun around and everyone hits the floor* What? I wasn't going to fire!

Edward: Your fucking off you rocker!

Rogue: Cas and Sam - why are the 2 of you fighting over Dean - he's screwed all the guys here except for Damon and Stefan - he's playing you both...

Sam: *Twitch* What?

Dean: It's a…lie!

Castiel: Yeah right. *Pops his knuckles*

Rogue: As far as TB goes - Eric gets amnesia in book4 that's how he and Sookie become lovers then when he gets back his memory he forgets her and she starts fucking some were - tiger and learns she's part fairy - guess what Eric - the Cullen's are your in laws!

Eric: …

Rogue: Castiel did those fang marks Pam gave you heal? Did you like having your blood sucked out like that?*Rogue and Pam make out - Dean's pant get tighter and Jacob starts to sweat* Jack what are you doing lying on the ground... looking up Pam's skirt?

Jack: Looking for treasure love.

Sookie: *Reads out loud* Sookie from the books is better than TV Sookie - Sookie has more backbone in the books and she dumps Bill after he nearly kills her. What! I am so better then my book counterpart!

Rouge: *Rolls her eyes*

Jack: *Jack looks wide eyed and yells* NO PANTIES!

Pam: Why should I wear them?

Rogue: Alice - you're coming with me and Pam today - Whose watching?

Wolverine: Yeah.

Seth: *raises hand*

Pam: Come little Alice *Pam smacks Alice's ass as we take hr to the back room*

Alice: *Blushes* Okay.

Rogue: Dean we should get some back room time someday ... Damon do something about your kid it's crying again - Chi good luck with keeping Baby Salvatore alive.

Damon: *Twitch*

I kind of doubt that.

Sam: I would strip in front of a mirror too if I was in Damon's body - I would probably die if I were in Eric's body - I'd make videos of my hot naked self!

Eric: ….

Sam: That's what she said.

Eric: …

Dean: If you wanna see Harry with his clothes off then try and get a copy of Daniel Radcliffe in Equus - he rides naked on a horse... seems a little too close to bestiality for me - people who fuck animals are not people they deserve to be burned... alive...and I though Sam - Dean and Castiel were bad... HEY!

Castiel: They killed Harry because... Voldemort exists because Harry exists - one cannot exist without the other so when Harry dies so does Voldemort. I think Hermoine and Harry would have been better together than that ginger haired kid.

That's really…I really need to read the books.

Jack: Okay I Dare Cas, Sam and Dean to dance shirtless wearing nothing but tight denim jeans and worker boots for 'YMCA'. I like that song! It's the two girls dancing in front of the camera saying something that I don't understand.

*Slaps forehead*

Dean: Fine.

After a seconds of preparing.

*Presses the button*

Dean, Sam, & Castiel: *Kicks high in the air and shakes there hips.

Damon: So gay.

Dean: *Form the Y*

Sam: *Forms the M*

Castiel: *Forms the C*

*Form the A*

Damon: Say out of it.

Ruin my fun!

TwilightRocks says Chi I still love that story. Thanks.

Twilight: Damon to make it up to you from chapter 46, *Wears a collar and gets on knees* I'm officially Damon's bitch for this chapter.

Damon: Why can't you be like that!

I'm not that dedicated.

Twilight: Damon I dare you to give me the best lap dance you can.

Damon: *Laughs* You know I'm on a dare right?

Twilight: I don't care. Besides this is not cheating.

Damon: *stares at me*

It's a dare.

Damon: Until you hold it against me.

It's not like your…Just do it already!

Damon: Sit down.

Twilight: *Squeals then sits down*

Stefan: *Presses play*

*I'm a Barbie girl starts playing*

Damon: Really?

Stefan: I didn't do it.

Jack: That was for my love.

Damon: Really hard to dance sexy to this song.

I think its fun.

Damon: I hate you. *Takes off his shirt and throws it at my head*

OW! *Rubs head* Your not getting this back! I'm selling it on e-bay! Bastard.

Damon: *Sits on Twilight's lap*

Elena: I want a lap dance too.

Lestat: Yeah Stefan. Give me a lap dance.

Stefan: …No.

Lestat: Please. What if I dressed up as Elena while you're doing it?

Stefan: Hahaha…ya…fuck no!

Lestat: So cruel. I like that.

We need a pole.

Alice: Agree.

Twilight: Eric, same dare *whispers in his ears so Damon can't hear about the plan for you to finally fuck Damon next chapter*

Damon: O.O I can hear you!

Twilight: Don't care. Edward. *sighs* I really hate being so nice. Since I fell bad for all the hate you've been getting *give him quickest kill in universe then starts vomiting*

Stefan: That's being nice? Okay.

Twilight: Damon I have a nickname for u O damn ( it's your name rearranged the right way) and now than Im your bitch for the chapter what do u want me to do?

Damon: Wait for me when the next chapter is done. The dare will be over and I can be a whore again.

*Claps* Good for you.

Twilight: .com/watch?v=qZPAeDeIiZU&feature=youtube_gdata  
dean saying he's batman trust me just watch.

Dean: I was lucky.

Sam: Super lucky

BeatrixMayfeir: Hi Chi*kiss*! What did Damon do to make you forgive him? Amazing make up sex? Or he learned how to be romantic for once?

He said…

Damon: *Covers my mouth* You tell anyone I'll kill you.

*Muffles*

Damon: Nope.

Beatrix: Oh and I like guys with cat ears too! Have you ever seen Fruits Basket? Kyo is so cute when he's a cat! And Damon what's with you and all those head slap? Are you somehow related with Gibbs from Ncis?

Damon: Who?

*Thinking*

Stefan: What?

We should do a Fruits Basket ep!

Elena: What?

How would play Tohru?

Damon: Try it and die.

Stefan: Why don't you play her?

Katherine: Still here. *Twitch*

I won't play her but I think I know someone who will.

Bonnie: As long as it ain't me then I'm okay.

….Plan 2.

Beatrix: I don't believe you were a virgin when you met Katherine so maybe you left some poor pregnant girl and Gibbs can really be one of your grandchild! He's sexy enough after all! Ehi Chi can you bring him or Tony in the show it would be fun!

Damon: No more men!

Eric: You want me all to yourself?

Damon: Stop twisting my words you bastard.

Beatrix: Stefan if you're in bears now, can you kill Winnie the Pooh? My nephew is killing me with him and the damn teletubbis!

Stefan: Sure.

Stay away from Winnie.

Stefan: Why?

I'll kick you.

Beatrix: Cas you and Dean are the most fabulous couple EVER, trust me! DESTIEL is meant to be*drag them in the backroom*!

Sam: *Twitches*

Beatrix: For Rogue, I agree that if Elena forget everything and Stefan and Damon becomes the new vampire Hierarchy it would be cool, but I don't think that Bonnie and Damon could end together, she is too close to Matt now. And in the last book even Meredith was closer to Damon than Bonnie. But who know?

Who's Meredith?

Elena: One of my friends that's in the book.

So on the show they are they aiming for a Damon/Bonnie thing?

Bonnie: *Mumble* I hope not.

So why didn't have a Meredith in the show?

Elena: *Shrugs* Who knows?

Vie: said Chi thx for considering Bonnie and Tara for your next chappie. ITA Franklin's ass is psycho! I was soooo happy Jason was there. Jason n Sam along with Tara and Lafayette r d reasons y I watch True Blood not to mention Eric.

Is she really a fairy?

Damon: Please stop trailing back.

But I want to know who Meredith is! Why isn't she on the show!

Damon: She probley got killed because she talked too much.

What kind of fairy is Sookie! Why did the trix kill off Harry!

Vie: So Chi, I like being in your story its cool. I have a question for the guys: What song gets you in the mood? (I want the name of those songs)

Damon: …All's get it on. I like the classics.

Stefan: Kiss from a rose.

Eric: Just the sound of her breathing.

That's not a song.

Eric: It's music to me.

Dean: I've got you under my skin.

Sam: Same.

Castiel: You are so beautiful.

Lestat: *Holds up and radio that plays Kiss from a rose*

Stefan: I hate that song now!

Vie: Damon, Dean let's go to the shower NOW! I want a ménage trois with you two PRONTO! ((((Smirks happily))))

Damon: I'm not getting into the shower with him. He might rape me.

Dean: Just because I think about it doesn't mean I'll do it.

Vie: Can Stefan and Damon do Family Guy; it would be funny to see how Peter, Brian and Stewie would react to Damon and Stefan.

I did on Chapter 43 Oh my God Batman!

Damon: He wasn't in there.

Seth: ..son wrote, Hello kitten. If you and the other characters could pose for any magazine what would your individual choices be? Peace out.

Tiger beat!

Damon: I was going to say that.

Stefan: Times.

Lestat: Me too! *Smiles*

Stefan: *Shivers*

Dean: Rolling Stones.

Castiel: Reader's Digest.

Huh?

Castiel: To make it more interesting.

Oh.

Pam: Easy. Play boy.

Eric should pose for play girl!

Eric: Maybe.

RainbowKitty13 says LMAO! Team Ash and Team Damon! BTW, where's Elena?

Elena: Right here. Tell them I am not that bad.

Fan girls will always hate people. Just accept it.

Katherine: *Sits down and folds her legs* Says the girl fucking Damon.

O.O!

Bonnie: Really.

I mean who hasn't on the show?

Eric: Me.

Dean, Sam: Me.

Lestat: Not my type. I want St. Stefan.

Stefan: Leave me alone!

Bob: …

Damon: What?

Bob: It's …it's nothing.

Damon: I'm going to puke.

Writergirl94 writes, omg this is so creative…

Damon: No this story is stupid and I'm surprised no one has bashed the girl yet.

I don't want trolls!

Damon: *Smirk* Trolls are people too.

*Sighs* Must read more. Thanks!

Damon: Still don't see why you like it…

Shut up Damon!

Dean: Dbz rox writes, haha epic choppy!

Thank you.

Dean: I dare Edward and his twin brother Stefan to MAKE OUT!

Edward: Your kidding me.

Seth: Like I want to see that. Ew.

Stefan: Ew.

Lestat: No fair!

It's a dare.

Stefan: A fucked up one!

But do it. It not like she said have sex.

Edward: Fine.

*Picks up a stop watch* For ten seconds.

Stefan: I hate you.

Yeah. I know.

Edward & Stefan: *Lean in and kiss*

One…Two…Three…Four….

Damon: Ew. I see Edward's tongue.

Five…six…seven…eight…

Dean: Nine…ten!

Stefan: *pushes Edward off* You're trying to mouth rape me! *Wipes his mouth*

Edward: I didn't use my…okay I did but no homo.

I don't think it works that way.

Edward: No one was talking to you.

Dbz: Be nice to Chi for one full chapter. It's a dare.

Damon: Why don't you kill me too!

Satan: *Jumps up and hit's Damon in then face*

Bad baby.

Damon: It's dead.

NO! You can't kill him!

Damon: OH YES I CAN!

BroadwayAngelLyric said Bob, go to hell.

Bob: Your mom can got to hell but if I do I'll take you with me! I watch you pee!

Broadway: Damon, did you hear about the internet/polyvore war between Barney and Pedobear? Pedobear is winning on polyvore. Your awesome thoughts are...

Damon: Bullshit. Barney should be winning. He's the original pedo thing.

Broadway: Guys, who are your choices for the fangirl war?

Damon: We don't know but we still scouting out girls.

It's going to be bloody. *Sighs* More stuff to clean up.

Broadway: Chi, I think you should make yourself part fae like Sookie is in her books. Also, are you still going to make fangirls characters?

I might as well since you guys are one of the biggest characters on here.

Broadway: Stefan and Eddie, you both are ballless bastards.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

Broadway: Zero, here's a two person bomb. I dare you to use it on ONLY two people.

Zero: *Smirk then throws it at Katherine and Edward*

Damon: Really?

Zero: She's bitchy and I hate bitchy people more then shiny people.

Well it wasn't Elena.

Broadway: Jack, how do you like your new bar I got you? *restocks bar for Jack*

Jack: *Starts dancing* Yay!

Dean: Well that's it for our show. We want to thank Vampirewithasecret, FutureActressKS, MinaFTW, xXspoiiledheartXx, Burntcinnamon….

Castiel: Pawprint25, anneryn7, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Breakfastclub85, Rogue Assasin, Kiiimberly, TwilightRocks, BeatrixMayfeir…

Sam: Vie, ..son, RainbowKitty13, writergirl94, Dbz Rox, and broadwayAngelLyric for questions and reviews. Peace.

Pam: Love.

Stefan: I felt your tongue!

Edward: I said no homo!

Damon don't kill him!

Damon: That bastard bit off my hand and punches me in the face. What do you mean don't hurt him!

Sam: Bye Guys!

Jack: What happened?


	55. Some what FGW part 1!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Fan Girls Wars!

*Holding a mic and fixing my tie* Ladies and Gentleman! Boys and Girls! Things of the night! Welcome to our first ever FAN GIRLS WAR!

Damon: You're having writers block.

Yep and I might as have fun while I'm on it. *Smiles* Besides it's highly demanded so the next five chapters will be like this…until my contest ends. *Laughs*

Stefan: You did this on purpose.

Yeah cause I almost forgot about the contest for a second…like may other things. My heads been in a buzz lately and I think I'm going sick soon.

Sookie: Poor kid. *Pats my head* You'll get better.

I hope I don't get sick.

Edward: Why does it say fan girls and not fan…people.

It's been mostly girls lately.

Damon: It's Sam and Dean's fault!

Dean: Hey shut it!

But before we get started aren't you two excited about your anime show? Did you know that when it get's dubbed you two will be doing the voices.

Dean: ….I get a cartoon?

*Nods*

Sam: Awesome!

Yeah I happy!

Fangirls: STOP WITH THE BUBBLY AND GET TO THE VIOLENTS!

O.O…*nervous laugh* Okay.

Bonnie: On the big screen *Points to the big screen* will display two names.

Elena: The name of the two opponents and their fan girls…

Damon: If they have any…

Sam: *twitch* Shut up.

Elena: Will fight in the ring.

Alice: The only two rules is that you, the boys, will have to pin each and keep yourselves in the ring…good luck.

Katherine: Time to see who's first! *Presses a button*

*Names flicker on the screen*

Okay first will be Zero Vs. Bob?

Katherine: *Kicks me* You're fucking dumb!

I didn't know!

Bonnie: These two don't have fan girls backing them up so it's one-on-one!

Zero: *Walks to the ring* I'm just going to blow you up.

…

Alice: *Chuckles* Fighting the urge to run up there and be Zero's fan girl?

*Nods*

Damon: YOU BETTER NOT!

…*Sighs*

Bonnie: How are you going to be a jealous slut Damon!

Damon: You know you want me.

Bonnie: … I rather be dead before that happened. *Rolls eyes*

Elena: Bob has entered the ring!

Katherine: Ever put Bob's name in the machine again and I will rape you.

*Shock face* What?

Alice: *Growls* Back off.

Katherine: Bring it on sparkle bitch.

Alice: I'll dump silver on you!

*Stands in the middle...smart huh?* This is the guys version will do one for you too!

Boom!

And the battle has already started…

Zero: *Picks up a bazooka and shots it at Bob*

Bob: *Jumps up in the air and dodge the explosion*

Zero: *Throws the gun to the side and jumps into the air* Bastard!

Damon: What is this? The fucking Matrixs?

Stefan: I like the first one better.

Damon: I know right?

Zero: *Pulls out the Bloody Rose and aims it at Bob*

Bob: What's that going to do? I'M UNKILLABLE! I'M YOUR TOFU GOD!

Zero: *Shoots the gun and sends Bob flying out the ring*

O.O…Well Bob loses.

Zero: Easy. *Walks out the ring*

Bonnie: Zero Kiryu moves on the next round!

*Fan girl squeal* GO ZERO...

Damon: *Growls*

….Okay! Whose next!

Bonnie: Let's get some questions out the way.

Okay.

Sam: TeamDamonRox said Haha great job! I'm on Damon's side like i always am!

Damon: Yeah. Who would want to be of the side of the two brothers' that screw each other like rabbits?

Dean: Haha. Bastard.

Anneryn7: Bob and Edward Oh hush; you know you want my kisses. BUT you're creep asses, so you get none. And I just really don't like you. Go crawl under a rock somewhere, and lose consciousness until you rot to death. *smile*

Bob: YOUR SOUL IS MINE! I WILL GRILL IT AND BUT A1 SAUCE ON IT.

Edward: …Yeah. What he said.

Anneryn: Stefan *smile* Have I told you that you're my favorite? *kisses* You know... I think that we should visit the back room together. *smirk* Let's go.

Stefan: Wait a minute. I might be…

You're not next. Go have fun!

Lestat: Can I join you?

Stefan: …Let's go to the back room Anneryn.

Anneryn: Okay!

Yay!

Heart-Broken: So who's next?

It's Louis Vs. Jacob.

Damon: Their still on the show?

I guess so.

Jacob: *Walks into the ring*

Louis: *Walks into the ring* Your not going to last long cutie.

Elena: Why is the air really….

Louis & Jacob: *Make out*

Damon: OH COME ON! THIS ISN'T A FUCKING LOVEFEST!

Louis: *Smirks then pushes Jacob out of the ring*

Everyone: …THE HELL!

Louis: Come to the backroom with me.

Jacob: Okay.

*Twitch* Let's answer questions before I beat my brains in.

Bonnie: That was just…weak.

Elena: Well said.

Heart-Broken: You said Bob okay...*looks at bob* Hey Bob you want to play a game? *grins giggling* It will be really fun! *Grabs bob and starts to use demonic powers on him*

Bob: *Spits white stuff at her* Now eat it.

Heart-Broken: O.O *Rips him in half*

This is so much interesting then the match. *Hands her a towel* I hope you didn't get any of that in your mouth.

Heart-Broken: *Twitch* Nasty Bastard.

Alice: *Nods*

Heart-Broken: So you said i can take care of Damon now. *grins evilly* Damon do you want to know what I'm going to do to you if your not nice to chi? *says that in a voice that is so nice it is scary* I am going to rip your balls off with my teeth and shove it down Stephanie's throat and then drain your blood and drink it myself and then shove your body down a giant paper shredder and then let Eric rape your corpse and then use my demon powers on you if your still alive. *blinks smiling widely* Do you want that to happen? 

Damon: …Call off your demon dog.

Heart-Broken: *Kicks him in the face* I'm being easy on you

Damon: Kicking people in the face is easy. *Rolls eyes*

Bonnie: My kind of girl.

Damon: …I don't like you.

Bonnie: Pfft. You're lucky I don't know how to blow up a vampire from the inside out.

Zero: I really like her.

Heart-Broken: I bet you do. I'm team Seth and...Hmmm i don't know who else wants me on there team? *smiles flashing demon teeth*

O.O.

Rogue: So scary.

Heart-Broken: Bitch.

Rogue: *Smirks then bows* Nice to meet you too. I might be a bitch but I'm better then you and your Sethy boy combined.

Heart-Broken: You want to take this outside?

Come on guys, wait till your turns. Please?

Heart-Broken: Your time is coming Rogue.

Rogue: Sure it is. *Rolls eyes *

Stefan: Pretty tame.

*Nods* Let's keep it there until the battle.

Heart-Broken: DO NOT KILL MY BABY1 I mean *coughs* uh my sister's baby *coughs more*... *looks at baby*

Baby (Satan): Mommy!

Heart-Broken: Shut up! *looks around nervously* 

Damon: *Holds up a cage* This thing belongs to you?

Heart-Broken: HOW CAN YOU LOCK UP A BABY!

Damon: This is being nice. I could have killed it but then I have to hear Chi's complaining and I rather not listen to that shit.

I care for people!

Damon: Grow so balls!

…I'M A GIRL!

Bonnie: Poor kid.

Heart-Broken: And that means the baby is being good if it attacked you its already becoming a miniature me!

Damon: Great. Another demon dog.

Heart-Broken: *Smirk* I dare you to take care of Satan bay for hmmmm...6 or 7 more chapters just so your pain intensifies that is part of your punishment for torturing Chi all the time.

Stefan: Sucks for you.

Damon: If Satan is just like its mommy then if I opened its cage it will go after you first.

Stefan: …

Damon: Thought so. Fine….

Heart-Broken: Stupid. *Holds up the pin that kept the cage door closed*

Satan: *Attacks Damon*

…Ouch.

Heart-Broken: Satan! No hurting Chi! You hurt Chi I'm taking your knives away! *Evil smiles* But you can attack Damon all you want!

Damon: WHAT! *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: You heard me.

Satan: No…knives? *Cries*

*Sighs*

Heart-Broken: I dare you too choose and you have to actually choose who you like best Castiel or Sam! Just tell me and I wont tell anyone else *smiles*

Dean: Damn.

Heart-Broken: I'm waiting.

Dean: *Leans in and whispers into Heart-Broken's ear*

Heart-Broken: Castiel?

Dean: SHH!

Sam: So it's like that Dean?

Dean: Damn. Sam it's not like…

Sam: *Runs away and cries*

Dean: *Runs after him*

Wow.

Heart-Broken: I got to skip a question. Elena I don't like you at all, you're such the goody, goody type! *Slaps her across the face* Do not get on my nerves or you will meet my demon powers

Elena: *Holds her cheek* What's so great about Bonnie or Katherine? No offense Bonnie.

Katherine: Ahem.

Elena: You're just a bitch.

Katherine: *growls*

Heart-Broken: Katherine, Omg you're actually on! You're like way, way, way better then Elena.

Elena: *Rolls eyes*

Heart-Broken: You're my inspiration if it wasn't for you I wouldn't become evil *gives Katherine ten humans* Kill feed do whatever I don't care! Whom do you want me to use my demon powers on?

Why?

Katherine: I'm a good role model. Kill the girl. *Points to me*

…Let's go to the next fight!

*Screen flickers the names* Next is Damon vs. Castiel? I wonder how this is going to turn out.

Bonnie: COME ON CASTIEL!

You don't like Damon do you?

Bonnie: I hate his guts.

Damon: *Walks into the ring*

Castiel: *Walks into the ring*

Damon's army of fangirls: You're going down!

Castiel: …Okay.

Dean: I think Cass is going to do fine. He's an angel…

Against a whole bunch of fangirl most have powers beyond belief!

Dean: …He's a dead man.

Sorry Cas.

Sam: Take his eyes out!

…So nice.

Damon: *Stretches* Let's get this over with.

Broadway: Yeah!

A metal bat?

Broadway: It shoots out fire.

….I need one.

Alice: You have a lot of fangirls who will protect you on the show.

Yeah, on the show but he does things where the camera's off. *Twitch*

Bonnie: Let's do this! Start!

Castiel: *Walks out of the ring*

...*Slaps forehead*

Damon: HEY COME BACK HERE AND FIGHT!

Castiel: *Laughs* I'm strong enough to take you all out but there is a battle I really want to watch.

Damon: And that one is?

Castiel: *Smiles* You versus Eric.

Damon: Right. LIKE I'M LETTING THAT BASTARD NEAR ME!

Eric: *smirks* Seems like my battle is next. *Stands up* And when this is over I'll show everyone what kind if bitch you are.

Damon: I'm not scared of you.

Eric: When this is done you'll be begging me for more.

…No wonder guys don't read this.

Alice: It's Eric versus Sam.

Dean: Sam be careful and don't look into his eyes.

Sam: I'm not a kid. I know how fight. *Pulls out a shot gun* It's filled with wooden bullets.

I don't think you need to worry about Eric.

Elena: He has a lot of fan girls.

Sam: I have some too. *Eyes flicker*

Damon: Don't be a pussy like Castiel.

Castiel: *Shrugs*

Sam: *Runs into the ring*

Eric: *Disappears and reappears in the ring*

Eric's Fan girls: YEAH!

Sam's Fan girl: You're all going down!

Sam: One?

Yami: Some called and said that they couldn't make it.

Sam: …Great.

Begin.

Eric: *Runs towards Sam*

Sam: *Shoot off the gun*

Eric: *Gets hit in the arm then smirks* Pretty good.

Sam: *Throws the gun to the side* It gets better. *Eyes turn black*

Eric: *Laughs* Show me.

Sam: *Raises a hand*

Eric: *Grins his teeth in pain*

Sam: Ha! Eric, you…*Get's hit in the head with a chair*

Castiel: *Dusted off his hands* That wasn't against the rules.

…True. But Eric has to pin him.

Eric: *Walks over to Sam, Bends over and pins him*

FIVE, FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE! Eric wins!

Eric fan girls: *Scream*

Yami: Aww.

Yay! Poor Sam.

Dean: He almost had him!

Castiel: *Shrugs* I was bringing him down with me.

Sam: *Pushes himself up* Ow! What happened?

Alice: Castiel did it.

O.O.

Alice: I want a fight!

Sam: *Jumps out of the ring and tackles Castiel* YOU BASTARD!

Alice: *Takes a camera* I smell a youtube hit.

*Laughs*

Heart-Broken: You guys have too much time on your hands.

So true.

Heart-Broken: Edward why did you even answer my question? You are nothing special it did not apply to you! I don't care who you want to die you need to die!

Edward: But you still cared. Aw you're a closet case aren't you?

Heart-Broken: *Pulls out a gun and shoots Edward in the knee cap* ) Ohh and bye the way...*Lights Edward on fire and uses Demon powers on him* I'm not gonna waste my creativity of torture on you.

Stefan: She forgot about me.

It won't last long

Heart-Broken: Yeah Stefie it won't.

Stefan: *Sighs*

Heart-Broken: Pam, I so agree! Sooo... *uses full affect of Demon powers on Damon*

Damon: OW!

*Turns head* She bending him like a twig!

Heart-Broken: Would you do Katherine?

Pam: I don't know but I don't like her type.

Katherine: Could careless bitch.

Pam: *Shrugs* I've been called worst, but if you step out of line I'll show you how much of a bitch I could be.

Katherine: Bring it.

…I thought Pam would fuck her not kill her.

Heart-Broken: Me too.

*Tension fills the room*

Elena & Bonnie: Come on girls.

Pam & Katherine: STAY OUT OF THIS!

Eric: *Borely* Stand down Pam. She not worth it.

Pam: *Growls* Your one lucky brat.

Katherine: Walk to your master with your tail between your legs.

Heart-Broken: Bob, You bore me you know that? You do not scare me vegetables are more scary then you! *uses demon powers on bob then shoves him down Elenas throat keeping her mouth shut so she swallows him*

Bonnie: …

Elena: *Trys to spit him out*

I'm surprised Elena fans are not coming to her rescue, she's not that bad. She no Kagome…*Evil smiles* I should bring her on the show.

Heart-Broken: Alice! You're like so fucking awesome I! *Hugs Alice*

Alice: *Smiles*

Bonnie: Can you get Bob out?

Spit it out Elena! You can do it!

Zero: *Walk's over and performs the Heimlich maneuver*

Elena: *Coughs up Bob* T-thanks…Z-zero.

Zero: No problem. I'll do anything as long you're not a vampire…*Mumbles* or a bitch.

Katherine: Just die.

Heart-Broken: Bonnie *Smiles* Ohh Bonnie you know what? We should so use are powers together and torture Damon! 

Bonnie: Let's do it after the show. *Evil laugh* Revenge is a bitch Damon.

Damon: I know you are.

Bonnie: …Okay let's do it now. *Places a hand out and makes Damon move with it*

Haha. Cool.

Katherine: *Shakes her head* Weak.

Damon: Shut up Katherine.

MinaFTW: YEAH!

Heart-Broken: Katherine is the best!

Mina: She's the bitch that started everything!

Heart-Broken: You want your eyes clawed out?

Mina: Bring it!

M-Mina you have questions, don't you?

Mina: I want blood!

…Okay.

Elena: It's Seth versus Pam!

Oh Crap.

Heart-Broken: I'm after you Rogue.

Rogue: Pfft. Whatever just get ready.

Mina have any questions?

Mina: A lot and a whole bunch of shit that's on my mind.

Vent on.

Mina: Oh hell no. in the books bonnie and Damon have kissed and he protects her and gives her cute nicknames. In the books Meredith scares Damon because she isn't afraid of him and has an evil glare. And bonnie likes matt as a brother, she likes Damon as a lover!

Bonnie: …

You two kissed?

Bonnie: I'm from the show. This is news to me. I'm going to throw up.

*Laughs*

Mina: and Elena is a bitch and is a Bella part 2 in the books, and she is a bitch on the show. Elena you stupid bitchass mother fucker, burn in hell. Takes a steel bat and beats the shit out of her. (She is on the floor unconscious, takes a gun and shoots her in the stomach).

*Nervous laugh* Poor Elena.

Mina: Bonnie, your better in the show than books. You are awesome!*Hands her gift basket*

Bonnie: *Takes it* Thanks.

Mina: Dare Bonnie go have sex with Damon now; I know you want him that is why in episode 2 or 3 you said Damon was older sexy danger guy. Now go make me a happy fangirl or else! *hold flame thrower and magic potion in hand*

Bonnie: I'll take the flame thrower!

Damon: *Brushes himself off* I'm not that bad. Tell her Chi.

…Beware of whips.

Damon: You're not helping.

Wasn't trying.

Bonnie: So when I take my punishment?

Mina: You're not making me a happy fangirl!

*Whispers* She'll kill us all. DESTORY US ALL!

Eric: *Twitch*

Not a fan of Billy or Gir?

Eric: They have a special place in hell waiting for them.

Mina: I will not forget this.

Bonnie: I'll still wait here.

Damon: Pfft I'm not.

Mina: Zero I like you better now. I hate Katherine and her ugly look alike!

Zero: Go away you annoying Kaname act a like!

Really. She seemed more like…

Heart-Broken & Rogue: STOP STALLING!

Okay! Pam versus Seth Go!

Heart-Broken: *Tackles Rogue*

Pam & Seth: *Just stare at each other then at the girls*

Rogue: *Rolls on top of Heart-Broken and places her hand on her face* I'm being easy on you!

Heart-Broken: *Eyes turn black* Back off. *Send Rogue flying*

Rogue: *Lands and smirk* You're a tough little bugger. It wouldn't be fun if you went down easily. *Eye flickered * I took some of your power. Bye.

WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS TEARING UP MY STUFF! *cries in a corner*

Alice: *Pats my head* Poor kid.

Elena: This show is weird.

Damon: *Ducks* They're throwing things now.

Pam: …Aren't we supposed to fight?

Seth: Let's just watch.

Heart-Broken & Rogue: *Still fighting*

Mina: O.O

Pam: It's going to be awhile.

Heart-Broken: This is for Seth!

Rogue: Seth is a pussy!

Mina: *Shakes head* Dean I'm on your team cause you fuckin hot!

Dean: Thanks. I'm going to need it when I'm in my match.

Mina: Damon, I might have feelings for you...I ...l...o...ve you.*Kisses him and hugs him. gives him a gift basket full of all the things he loves.*

Damon: Thanks, please tell me that this pink thing isn't a sex toy.

Mina: *Takes it out of the basket* Wrong one. Haha. *Throws it somewhere*

Damon: *Raises his eyebrow* Riiight.

Mina: Stefan*hugs* Your still my favorite vampire brother.

Stefan: You're sweet. Unlike some people.

Heart-Broken: JUST WANT STEFAN YOUR ASS IS MINE!

Rogue: Your opponent is right here. *Blasts Heart-Broken*

….This is going to be a long ass chapter.

Edward: Yeah.

Pam: So what we going to do?

Seth: Call it a tie?

Pam: They won't.

Seth: No point standing here and getting blasted to death.

Pam: Let's go.

Mina: Chi thanks for bringing Bonnie on the show, but since you brought bitch ass and bitchier bitch ass all you get is chocolate cupcakes.

I like cupcakes! *Smiles* …Who which?

Elena: Where are my fans!

You'll see some pop up soon.

Mina: Bye everyone,*Makes out with Dean and leaves*.

Bye Mina!

Elena: *Twitch* Don't come back.

Katherine: Rot in hell.

Hey Rogue, Heart-Broken it's a tie.

Rogue & Heart-Broken: Fuck that! *Starts fighting again*

O.O…

Dbz rox: Omg Damon taking care of a baby? Can I add another one onto that? *hands Damon a baby girl* this one shouldn't be so evil. She's pure human. Oh and you have to take care of it for...two chapters! It's a dare so you can't back out.

Damon: What's up with the babysitting? Baby sit your own crappy kids not me. Fuck kids and fuck babies. Little ankle biting bastard.

She's cute. *Smiles*

Dbz: Oh now I really want to see a sex scene between Edward and Stefan. Hehe it's a dare so you can't back out^^.

Stefan: Pfft. No.

Edward: It's a dare.

Stefan: *Stares at Edward then takes a few steps away*

Edward: What?

Stefan: Lestat was filling your mind with nasty stuff.

Edward: Can we try it once.

Stefan: O.O YOU TURNED HIM GAY!

Lestat: I didn't do that.

Louis: It was my handle work.

Stefan: Another one.

Dbz: And also for Katherine: *gets a stake and stabs her with it* die bitch! How dare you leave Damon for 145 years and never bothered to look for him! And then you come back to tell him that you never loved him? You deserve to rot in hell!

Katherine: *Hiss* I'LL HAUNT YOU!

*Whispers* Do it again.

Katherine: *Stares at me*

Damon: Leave her alone Kat. She's mine.

Katherine: Then control your little beast.

Beast!

Alice: That's it Katherine! *Jumps Katherine*

Everyone: O.O

Bonnie & Elena: GO ALICE!

TwilightRocks: Hi chi! If I was in the fan war I would be on team Damon! Don't forget I will be your bitch next chapter.

Damon: Why don't you try to stop them from fighting?

TwilightRocks: *Shakes head* Anything else?

Damon: Take care of Satan for a second.

TwilightRocks: Stefan I feel like you're getting so much hate well I don't think u look like Edward. Here take a mountain lion (u need more than bunny blood).

Stefan: All right. Thank you.

TwilightRocks: Elena: don't worry were not all haters I still like u. 

Elena: *Smiles* You made my day.

Twilight: Katherine: out of both u and Elena u are my fav. (Sorry Elena)

Katherine: See people really like me.

You threaten to rape me. You're a little bit crazier than my mom…no she got you beat. Okay carry on.

Twilight: Jack: *hands all worlds supply of boos*

Jack: You thought I was forgotten huh love?

No but I didn't think that you would be under the ring. Asleep.

Jack: I couldn't help it. It was dark and damp…like a…

We kind of got the idea.

Jack: Whose that love?

Oh. Katherine, Bonnie, and Elena.

Jack: Hello my little puppets. My name is Jack Sparrow and I'm drunk…*Falls over*

He does that a lot.

Bonnie, Katherine, Elena: We can tell.

Twilight: Pam: Can u drag Damon in the backroom while I tell Eric something?

Pam: Fine. *Grabs Damon and drags him to the back room*

Damon: Take care of Satan, Stefie , and Angel!

Alice: *Let's out a breath* Angel?

I named her.

Twilight: Eric: *tells plan to f*** Damon * Step 1. Get Lestat to join u so he can fuck Stefan to Step 2. Lestat tells Stefan his bunnies are about to die and there in the backroom (Pam should have already dragged Damon to the backroom) Step 3. Tie them up in vervain ropes and do whatever u want to them. Step 4. Tell us if it worked.

Stefan: O.O I can hear you!

Twilight: New plan. Look Elena's naked!

Stefan: What!

Twilight: *Hits Stefan in the head with a bat and watches him fall* He's all yours Lestat.

Wow.

Elena: Next match is Stefan versus Edward.

Can we save that for last?

Edward: WHY!

Let's go to Dean's and Lestat's match!

Lestat: I give up.

Dean: HEY! I WANT TO SHOOT SOMEONE!

Lestat: *Drags Stefan to the backroom*

O.O. *Shivers then sighs* Fine let's answer a few more questions then we'll start Stefan vs Edward.

Bonnie: *Shrugs*

Pawprint: Hey.

Hi.

Alice: What's up!

Pawprint: I guess I'm going to fight in this war for Dean's right to be with Castiel cuz that pairing is awesome!

Sam: *Folds arms* Yeah right.

Pawprint: *Walks up to Elena* Hey, Elena. * smiles sweetly then stabs her in the head with a stake* The dog is dead! You are free! * walks away calmly*

Everyone: O.O!

Okay.

Damon: *Hops out* I'm going to kill you Twilight!

*Trys to stop myself from laughing*

Damon: You laugh once and you'll…

*Hides behind Bonnie*

Bonnie: I'll kick your ass.

Alice: Same here.

Wait…are they still fighting.

Heart-Broken & Rogue: *Punches each other in the face*

LadySalvatore: *Walks out naked and sits in front of Damon* Hi :)

Damon: Hey I'm …Helllloooo.

LadySalvatore: You like what you see?

Damon: Yes I do.

LadySalvatore: Edward is a retarded fuck face bum raper no pubed kunt ass raper! Now that I have that out of my system I have a dare! I dare Bob and Edward to make out for 10 seconds. Hopefully Bob will somehow force himself into Edward's dirty mouth and then it'll be easier to kill both of them as they will be one.

Bob: I don't want to be in anyone's mouth again!

Elena: I had it worst!

Edward: Let's get this over with. *Leans towards Bob*

Bob: *Punches him in the mouth* There that's a kiss from me!

Edward: *Rubs his jaw*

LadySalvatore: Ily Damon *wink*

Damon: Don't know what that means but okay. *Cocks his head to the side* Nice view.

Stefan: *Runs out the room shirtless* I'm ready…just get me away from him!

Edward: Finally! Let's do…..their a lot of fan girls behind you.

Stefan: You're not well like on this show.

Edward: Well bring it.

Fan girls: *Attack Edward*

O.O It has even started.

FutureActressKS: BURN BASTARD BURN!

Stefan: *Standing in the ring*

Stefan wins.

Edward: What? *Gets punched in the face*

He's in the ring, your not enough said.

Rogue: *Sticks her tongue out* How you like being on all fours!

Heart-Broken: STOP TRYING TO RAPE ME!

*Coughs* Why did it suddenly turn into porn for a second.

Rogue: Awww Charity and Damon that duet was so cute! Is the Demon Baby still here? I have chloroform we can knock it out then lock it in a cage.

Thank you.

Damon: Chose a better song next time! Nothing gay like raining men or I'm every woman crap.

You just dug your own grave.

Damon: …shit.

Rogue: Stefan *Rogue walks towards Stefan - Stefan shakes a little*

Stefan: Y-Yes...

Here *Rogue hands Stefan mouthwash.

Stefan: O_O

Rogue: Just gurgle - use the whole God Damn bottle

Stefan: *Stefan gurgles and spits on Bob*

Rogue: I'm so sorry your pretty little mouth got violated by Fagward - Here I'll make it better. *Rogue wraps legs around Stefan and kisses Stefan making his toes curl* I like kiss from a rose too though not as much as Careless Whisper

Stefan: *Smiles*

Rogue: *Rogue fires shotgun at Edwards's mouth then kicks Lestat in the knee and takes his radio. Stefan has rose in mouth and Rogue and Stefan dance, song changes to careless whisper Pam joins and the 3 of us grind on each other* Damon tell your brother to make me your sister in law though my heart belongs to Pam. *Rogue frenches Pam*

Damon: I thought you hated him?

Rogue: Hate can bloom love.

Heart-Broken: You're pausing our battle to ask stuff.

Rogue: Wait your turn. I'll promise you'll scream my name later.

Heart-Broken: …I want to fight not get felt up.

Rogue: I came for both.

Heart-Broken: Riiight.

Rogue: Kathy *Rogues fires shotgun at Katherine's knee* That was for kicking Charity.  
Listen up Elena and Kat - Damon belongs to Chi and Stefan belongs to me and Pam the 2 of you DESERVE each other so you can go do each other - Elena you're just as confused as Katherine better yet - go do Eric he looks bored and I'm sure he'd love to tie your egoistic as up and whip you till you call him Daddy Katherine.

Katherine: Not interested in some old Viking. I'm a cougar not a domestic cat.

Eric: You never tried.

Katherine: *Rolls eyes*

Rogue: Damon and Stefan Fagward called you two pussies and you let it slide? Here *Rogue throws steel baseball bats at Stefan and Damon*- go make Fagward cry like a little girl.

Damon: When do I even care about Ms Fairy vampire saying anything about me? Looks like he knows a new word.

Stefan: *Picks up a bat and starts hitting him in the face*

Rogue: So Chi while the Salvatores are of dismantling Ed how's Baby Steffie doing? I think I'm going to ask Anneryn7 to do a spell to make her real... that would be fun.

She's doing fine. If she becomes real I hope she doesn't attack me like baby Satan.

Damon: He's in the cage again.

Satan: YOUR SOUL WILL BE DEVOURED!

Damon: O.O Baby has a few new words.

Bob: Just like I taught him.

Then he turns on you and attacks you.

Bob: …Fuck you! OUR LOVE IS SPECIAL!

Stefan: welcome pedo-Tofu.

Great.

Rogue: Oh it's on Heart-broken - remember I'm a mutant who can absorb your powers and use them against you - so lets have a real honest to the Goddess woman fight, pull hair. tear off clothes, bite, scratch and I promise to rape you on the battlefield and make you my bitch.

Heart-Broken: Yeah. I can tell.

Rogue: Hmmm Jack fucking Pikachu... sick

Jack: Don't judge me love. *Drinks from bottle*

Rogue: Hey guess what Chi - they're going to have an Alternate Dragon ball series where Goku doesn't leave Earth, Bardock comes back to life and the Z-Fighters (Goku, Gohan, Goten, Bardock and Vegeta) have to battle dark Trunks (Omega Shenron possesses Trunks) As much as I LOVE Eric, Damon and Dean they don't come close to Vegeta... he's so awesome... I love the good bad guy... And Gogeta and Gohantenk can't beat Dark Trunks even in SSJ4... Can't wait for it to come out...

Awesome! *jumps up and down*

Rogue: In FGW (Fan Girl War) I support Eric, Pam, Wolverine, Damon, Stefan and Dean but if I REALLY had to choose it would be Pam - She rocks in the sack.

Pam: Thanks for having my back Rogue.

Rogue: *Rogue stands with arms open in front of Stefan* Back off Lestat he belongs to me and Pam now - Pam engraved her name on his ass when he was sleeping. Damon I thought we had a deal Stefan protects you from Eric and You protect him from Lestat.

Damon: Kind of hard when he got knocked out.

Rogue: Wow Chi did you actually read the entire Fic - it is really long but thanks :)

It was fill of awesomeness. Epic.

Damon: *Slaps me up side the head* No.

But I…

Damon: No.

Fine.

Rogue: So Sam and Cas I hope the 2 of you are not fighting over Dean anymore seeing as he's been playing you both. Cas I think you should make Katherine your bitch - get her a dog collar and leash - you're an angel you should be able to control her. Sam you and Lestat would be good together.

Castiel: I'm temped.

Katherine: Cats don't need leash.

Castiel: Then this shouldn't bother you at all.

Sam: I don't see it working.

Lestat: I want Stefan! Shirtless, pantsless, and down on all fours.

Everyone: …

Rogue: The Sookie in the books rock Miss Anna Paquin you sucked big MONKEY balls as Rogue - the series Rogue NEVER gave up her power for ICEMAN, she learned to control it after Sinister took them into the future and she died saving Gambit and their children.

Wow…where's Sookie.

Eric: Taking time off.

Poor girl.

Rogue: *Rogue hugs Wolverine* Daken maybe your kid but you're way hotter than him. 

Wolverine: Oh now I have lines.

Sorry. *Smiles*

Wolverine: I have a kid…with who?

Rogue: *Rogue shoots Eddie in the eye*

Wolverine: Chi you should get that gun away from her...

Rogue: Chi you're going to kill me.,, I put the Harry Potter book down when Harry sacrificed himself.. I never finished it, last night I was bored so I decided to finish it - he comes back to life! Harry ends up with Ron's little sister and they have a son and Dumbledore dies and it's revealed that Dumbledore was gay.

Why they wait that long to say that he was gay. What about his lover!

Rogue: Just read the read.

…Okay.

Rogue: The pole's in the backroom Chi - me and Pam put it there...

I want to try it out…*Shivers* I felt like someone wants to drag me back there.

Alive: I could name a few.

Rogue: For Beatrix *Rogue hugs Beatrix* Well in the books Matt thinks Caroline is having his twins when they're actually Tyler's. Bonnie is STILL Damon's little witch. I think they combined Caroline and Meredith into the TV Caroline - there are rumors of pairing Tyler off with Bonnie - I will murder if they do that BAMON forever the witch and the Vampire BELONG together. I am doing a Bamon fic - still working with it on paper before I start typing it out.

Okay! *Smiles*

Rogue: Sookie is part Fae - long story short, Adel Stackhouse fucked a half fairy.  
It's sad though because Sookie's fairy cousins Claudette and Claudine die and they close the portal to Elfyria so only her gay fairy cousin Claude and her half fairy grand uncle Dermot remain and Dermot looks like and older version of Jason. Sookie also has a little 5 year old nephew who is telepathic by Hadley - she only discovers this after Hadley dies.

Aw.

Alice: So sad but talk about spoiler. I like it.

Rogue: How was Eric's naked scene with Talbot! I thought it was LEGENDARY and when he staked Talbot it was like having an orgasm! 

Eric: One of my best works.

It was so hot!

Stefan: I threw up a couple of times in my mouth.

Edward: It was alright.

Rogue: Bob! Stay away from Damon and Stefan!*Rogue starts beating Bob with butt of shot gun... Bob becomes white mushy stuff and Rogue keeps beating it. Wolverine and Dean lead Rogue away from the white stuff. Charity places flower in white puddle* Goodbye Bob.

You know he's going to come back again.

Rogue: It's fun trying out new things on this bastard! *Smiles*Seth it's not that I don't like you - I do but you're still a kid.. so is Jacob - don't worry kids eat your vegetables one day you'll be big and strong like Dean (Rogue pats Seth's head).

Heart-Broken: *Growls* Stop insulting him!

Rogue: Let me finish. And I'll give you a good ass whipping.

Heart-Broken: You wish!

Rogue: *Ignores* Stefan are you coming with me and Pam in the Backroom? Whose watching? Charity, you me and Pam backroom tomorrow - Damon can watch.

Damon: Haha.

Rogue: Damon- Steffie is crying - take care of her.

Damon: *Growls*

Rogue: Charity is fangirls become characters then I get to be the Bookie for the bunnies fights!

Stefan: O_O

Rogue: Don't worry Stef we'll get rich and buy a yacht and sail the world with Pam.

First fight: Snowball Vs Fluffy

Damon: 100 on Fluffy

Edward: 200 on Snowball

Pam: 100 on Fluffy

Seth and Jacob: Snowball

Stefan: My BABIES! I can't watch.

Alice: I can't see with these Damn dogs! Snowball!

Eric: 100 on Fluffy

Dean and Sam: 50 on Snowball

Wolverine: 50 on Fluffy

Cas: Fluffy

Okay Fluffy, Snowball - FIGHT!

Fluffy pulls out knife and eviscerates Snowball

Everyone: O_O

Oh Fuck!

Fluffy must have eaten some off Bob...

Fluffy: Here's Bobby...

…Soo how's the new body?

Bob: Fluffy. *Laughs*

Weren't we suppose to get back to fighting? You know what forget it. Free for all!

Damon: You have no idea what you doing.

I'm at 30 pages and its 8:54 I'm pretty desperate.

Lestat: *Grabs Damon and disappears with him*

Oh no.

Eric: *Grabs Stefan and disappear with him*

Pam, Dean, Seth: Who goes down first?

Fan girls: *Brawl out*

O.O. Everyone is fighting. *Slaps forehead*

Alice: I was kinda picturing Fan girl wars a little different.

If we do a FGW 2 it will be a little more…fan girl friendly.

Alice: *Laughs* I doubt that but where is Damon and Stefan?

*Screams fill the room*

At the mercy of Eric and Lestat.

Bonnie: Want me to go save Stefan?

Yeah.

Elena: What about Damon?

That bastard pushed off three crying kids, let him suffer a bit.

Steffie: *Cries*

Satan: FEED ME CHARITY!

O.O!

Angel: *Cries*

Let him suffer.

Damon: *Holding on to Stefan* Fuck…Damn…shit!

What happened?

Damon: Look at my clothes what does it look like.

Again?

Damon: There trying to double team use.

Stefan: *Coughs*

Dean: *Shoots at Eric and Lestat* I got your back.

Stefan: Thanks.

Hana M: hey chi! Im on team Damon :D.

Damon: Appreciate it.

Eric: Your starting to get slow.

Damon: Damn.

Alice: *Grabs Eric's arm and twists him around* Funny!

BeatrixMayfeir: Yeah a Fruits Basket ep! You are the best Chi*jump up and down*! I'll make you a golden statue! Kio Shigure and Hatori are so sexy!

I know!

Damon: Need help here.

*Sighs* Fine. *snaps fingers and everything stops* Happy? *pushes Eric and Lestat out of the way then snaps fingers again* Yay.

Damon: Where?

One of those thing I'm too lazy to explain.

Stefan: *Fall over*

Bonnie: Right.

Beatrix: Bye the way Meredith is the best friend of Elena and Bonnie in the book and not that bitch of Caroline, who hates Elena, and I really don't know why she's not in the tv series because she's great! And she also is Alaric's girlfriend! Damon why are you so mean with little Satan? He's so cute! I love babies I have a lot of nephews and one niece! Rogue you are so right about Elena! She's so useless and boring with here stupid wings!

Elena: I have wings!

Beatrix: Will you team up with me to torture her while she's on the show? And those fang marks Pam gave Cas have not healed yet I saw them the last time. Eric can I have a copy of "the kiss on the cheek" tape, please? And one of the YMCA dance! Stefan here's a toothpaste tube: use it all! Wolverine a katana for you: make Katherine in tiny peaces, please! Oh and I'm Team Castiel and Team Dean*kiss them both*!

Katherine: You have a problem with me brat?

Beatrix: *Shoots her with a wooden bullet*

Katherine: *Hiss*

FutureActressKS: To Katherine I really, really hate you! But not as much as stupid Edwierdo!

Edward: When will you just admit that you want me naked and in your bed honey.

FutureActress: *Twitch*Edward: Die! *lights a match and sets it in his hair, letting it burst into flames* You can solve that problem on your own.

Edward: EHHHHH!

FutureActress: Katherine Does it bother you to have so many fan girls (well like me) to be all over Stefan and Damon?

Katherine: No beside I refuse to let you guys get under my skin.

Too late. I saw you twitch.

Katherine: You want a voice?

*Nods*

Katherine: Good.

FutureActress: To any fan girl, who wants to team up with me to plan a diabolical plan to destroy Eddie over there?

I bet there's many. Where's Eric and Lestat?

Damon: Plotting.

FutureActress: Edward GO AWAY! *hits him hard in the stomach with elbow*

Edward: *Twitch* You hit like a girl!

FutureActress: Jack: For you *4 bottles of rum* HAVE FUN! Hehe Stefan: I love you. *Hands him an extra mega sized bunny, bigger than Mega the bunny* Damon: I am totally on your side in the fan girl war. *hugs for a really long time* No I am not going to let go anytime soon! *finally lets go* Backroom, maybe?

Damon: That is a big ass bunny.

FutureActress: Edward this is for the EW Sexy Beast poll. You and Damon are the final two, but Damon's losing so far! I don't know if it will change, but if you win, well even if you lost I would still do this. *hits him in the face with a crowbar.*

Damon: The only reason he would win is because little girls like dickless bastards.

Edward: Your just mad because mine's bigger then yours!

Damon: Pfft you wish.

Edward: What? You wanna compare or something?

….

Damon: …Stay away from my ass.

Eric: Hello.

Damon: Fine I give up but I'll have my pride and I want to say one more thing. Your Mother.

Eric: …What?

Damon: I'm here!

FutureActress: Eric you can't have Damon! *takes the same crowbar and hits him square on the head* Take that!

Eric: Ouch?

Damon: …Okay that plan didn't really work.

FutureActress: Elena Does it bother you that Lestat is so set on getting Stefan? *Hands her crowbar if she wants to use it*

Elena: Yes! *Holds on to the crowbar and beats on Lestat*

Lestat: *Sighs* Please stop. It's annoying.

FutureActress: Bob I'll steal your soul! If you even have one! FREAK!

Bob: MHAHAHAHAHAH! I would love to see you try!

FutureActress: Bonnie After the season finale, I'm not sure I can forgive you.

Bonnie: *Shrugs* I'm protecting my friend, what of it?

xXspoiiledheartXx: Edward- did yu just compliment me eddy *laughs evily* i think yu did.

Edward: Go haunt someone else troll.

Spoiiled: *Stabs him in the heart* Opps my hand slip.

Edward: E-E….vil Troll.

Spoiiled: Damon- wat if i dont want to be on yur list Damie *smiles sweeetly* yur my favorite *smiles again*

Damon: Good.

FutureActress: To Elena I prefer you over the bitch over there. (Aka Katherine)

Katherine: I hope Bob hides in your food.

FutureActress: No one cares for you!

Katherine: I do.

FutureActress: Stefan Present for you. *hands him a crate with 20 bunnies in it*

Stefan: Thanks.

FutureActress:*Kisses for everyone but Edward, Katherine, and Bob.*

Edward: Kiss my shiny butt!

FutureActress: Go die in a ditch some where to put you out of my misery.

Edward: Yeah. You love me.

Breakfastclub85: Dean: What would you say if I told you I love you with all my heart and asked you to marry me?

Dean: I'm not the marrying type right now but you want a fuck buddy give me a call.

Breakfastclub: Lestat I dare you and Stefan to make out for 5 whole minutes.

Stefan: O.O! Did you know what he tried to do to me!

Breakfast: Kiss now! It's a dare!

Lestat: It's a dare love. *Grabs Stefan and kisses him*

Stefan: *Scream*

Breakfast: Alice Sorry about you and Jasper.

Alice: It's alright. We just needed a break.

Breakfast: Bonnie: You and Damon would end up killing each other if you were together. 

Bonnie: Finally someone sees it my way.

Alice: You haven't given it a chance.

Bonnie: No.

Breakfast: Chi: I think you should bring Bobby on here to smack some sense into people.

Damon: No more guys! No more people! No more fucking rabbits!

…

Mina: any bitches against bonnie: look. If bonnie had disabled the device, the vampires would have killed all the founding families. Random fact of the day Salvatores were part the founding families.

how would Stefan and Damon fight older and more powerful vampires while protecting the founding families which also included the gilberts? Hmmm...lets see now...they wouldn't! They would have gotten their ass kicked! Bonnie saved the town and the Salvatore's asses, so if you should be doing anything to bonnie it should bowing down and kissing her feet with appreciation! Now I am usually a nice person, very reasonable, but if anyone of you sons of a bitches brings up bonnie being a bad person because of the founders day episode I will show you just how much of a BITCH I can be! Plus the Salvatores for gave her in the last episode so don't bring shit up!

and if Tyler even brings his fugly self near bonnie I will rip his balls off!

(smiles sweetly like an angel) love everyone, ok bye!

…What just happened?

Damon: Something about me kissing Bonnie's feet.

Bonnie: Try it and you die.

Damon: No trying.

NykkiLeighVampireHeart: HAHAHA LOVE the chapter, as always! :) *waves frantically* HI DAMON AND JACK! I LOVE YOU!

Jack: I love you too love. Hey Chi how do they get that smiley face thing on here?

Just this see easy.

Jack: That's different then the one up there.

:) There.

Jack: Cool :O bring more booze.

Wrong face.

Jack: I'm getting sober. :)

Nykki: *Glares* KATHERINE! I FUCKING HATE YOU COLD HEARTLESS NARCISSISTIC BITCH! YOU HURT MY DAMON TOO MANY TIMES! SO THERE! YOU EVIL BITCH! I HOPE DAMON STAKES YOU! I HATE YOU! The only reason I'm not coming in this story and staking you myself is because I know you will kick my ass! So there! SAVE ME DAMON! ...ahem. Hi Elena! :) *whispers* pick Damon! *grins* LOVE YOU CHI! :D

Katherine: Smart kid.

..son: Hello kitten. You seem to watch a lot of anime although you've never mentioned possibly the two greatest ever made, those being cowboy bebop and trigun. If you have watched them what do you think of them and what would you rate them out of ten?

Yay! Legends! Both are ten both I love Rurorni Kenshin the best. I'm an action anime kind of girl who also like some girly shows. But blood and guts all the way. Watch Higurashi and you get both. Yay.

XOLittleGreenMonsterXO: Katherine, I don't like you. You're a bitch. *Takes out stake and shakes her* 

Katherine: *Screams* I hate you!

LittleGreen: Elena, You'd better be good, otherwise I'll kill you too.

Elena: O.O Okay.

*Laughs*

LittleGreen: Damon, I still love you, but can you not act so gay? It's disturbing... 

Damon: …Thank you for remembering that horrorable day.

Alice: It could have been worst.

Eric: I'm selling these thing out of the trunk.

I really wanted to see you two fight. *Claps hands* Fine. You two will fight in the next chapter!

Damon: I hate you.

LittleGreen: Stephan, No comment. 

Stefan: …

LittleGreen: Jez, You are so freakin awesome!

Jez: Tell her to give me lines!

LittleGreen: …

*Places hands up* Okay don't hurt me.

LittleGreen: Jack, *hands him a bottle of rum.*

Jack: THANK YOU! I was get sober. Scary.

Vampirewithasecret: Edward is pissing me off...*kicks him in the head rips his head off plays soccer with it then throws it in a volcano...then let Eric rape the body* Oh! And I'm team Dean!

Eric: …I don't want him. Give him to Louis.

Louis: *Shrugs*

BroadwayAngelLyric: Damon, you have my back during the war don't you? *bribes him with a punching bag with Stefan, Edward, and Barney's faces on it* Psst, I'll kill the baby for you. It irks me.

Damon: Kill satan and we have a deal.

Broadway: Chi, I think you'd be a cool fairy. Fairies like Sookie read minds and shoot light from their fingers. You could use your powers to keep some people in line.

Yeah Damon.

Damon: Oh I'm so scared. So what are you anyways?

Huh?

Damon: Don't play dumb. You stopped time.

No I didn't, your just on drugs.

Alice: He's not on drugs and I saw this too.

Please no pressure!

Broadway: Elena, you finally came! I actually like you but I'll like you more if you dump Stefan.*whispers to her that Stefan and Edward have been having sex after the show for the last 20 chapters*

Elena: *Raises an eyebrow*

Stefan: Edward…really? You insult me…not really.

Broadway: Katherine, you're cool. You're a bitch but in a good way. Way tougher than Stefan.

Katherine: Who isn't tougher then Stefan.

Broadway: Eric, who do you hate most on the show? 

Eric: Gir.

Broadway: I mean on the show right now.

Eric: Edward. He thinks he's hot stuff. Looks pathic to me.

Edward: Shut up Eric!

Broadway: Pam, who's been the best lay on the show for you?

Pam: Rogue!

Broadway: Jack, here's a case of rum, go wild.

Jack: *Does the safely dance*

Broadway: Cas, I'm rooting for you.

Castiel: Thank you.

Damon: He gave up!

Castiel: To see you fight Eric and it worked.

Broadway: Zero, here's a three person bomb. I dare you to use it on ONLY 3 people.

Zero: *Takes the bombs and throws it at Edward, Louis, and Katherine* I hate you all.

Broadway: Bob, you're horrible. Try to eat my soul. I can get psycho, ask Stefan and Edward.

Bob: Your mom ate me. *Evil smirk*

Broadway: Edward, did you actually fuck Bella's head after I killed her? You're disgusting.

Edward: Because you didn't think of it first!

Broadway: Stefan, how does it feel to have all 3 of your lovers-including Eddie Boy- here? I told you I'd bring justice and force you out of the closet. Stupid unsparkly fairy. Anyway, I got to go to my Fangirls Anonymous support group-yes, we have one of those, Stefan- so, bye!

Stefan: *Waves* I hope you grow a soul soon.

Vampire213: LMFAO XD. This is really good & funny !

Thanks. *Smiles*

Vie: This question is for Damon: Do you really Love Elena or is it because she's the spitting image of Katherine? Cuz I seriously hope u wouldn't do Stefan like that...deep down you LOVE him.

Damon: I wanted to play with her at first then I fell somewhat for her. Nuff said.

Vie: I'm not a fangirl but I do loves me some Damon and eventually I want him with Bonnie...all that angst they have is just going to lead to some serious supernatural sex.

Bonnie: Not going to happen.

Unless the writers make it happen.

Bonnie: Doubt it.

BereniceAndrea: Yaaaaaaaaaay! IM BACK! and of course first thing i did was reading this fic! i missed you so much chi! :D i can't believe i missed the body's switch :( this is getting even more epic, you rock ;)

Thanks.

Bernice: Btw, for the fangirl thing im 100% team Stefan! *tackles Stefan and kisses him* hi Stefan i love you! did you miss me? i brought you a bunny! *hands him a bunny* name him blueberry, its a good name :D I LOVE YOUUUUU

Stefan: *Laughs* Thank you.

Bernice: Damon! OMG, i knew you would miss me too! *kisses him* you're so sweet :)

Damon: I'm not sweet! I kill people!

Bernice: Chi, can i hug you? i missed your awesomeness :D you're the best-

Yeah.

Bernice: *Tackles me*Katherine is in this story now? Omg, Katherine i love you! i love you and you scare me at the same time! 100% fangirls here :P i wanna be like you when i grow up! i think i kinda am though, my friends call me Katherine cause they say im as bitchy as you :D so proud ;) you're my role model, i love you.

Katherine: Thank you.

Keep one eye open she will kill…*Gets kicked in the leg*

Katherine: Shut up!

Bernice: Elena, i love you too, i don't think you're annoying you're the best :D go kill Bella would you? She's just dumb

Elena: She annoys me too.

Bernice: Sam, Dean and Cass, you guys still fighting? Get over it! Have a threesome!

Sam: I've been in his body. That the closet thing to touching him.

Bernice: oh, Eddie, you i didn't miss at all... but hey, its been 10 days since i last tortured you, so... *grabs a knife, cuts his balls, hands, one leg, pop his eyes out with a spone* die bwhahahaha *sets Edward on fire while he screams like a little girl* *throws gas and alcohol at the fire and keeps laughing like crazy* bwahahahahahahhahahaha, Kath would you help me torture him? *blushes*

Katherine: Sure. *Cuts off one of his arms.

Bernice: CHI YOU'RE THE BEST :D HAVE FUN IN THE SHOW AND IF YOU WANNA TORTURE SOMEONE JUST LET ME KNOW AND I'LL BE RIGHT THERE ;) LOVE YOU! XO

Okay the show is over! I'll finish the FGW if you can call this that. I been getting sick lately again and collage stuff is catching up with me. *Smiles* But I want to thank TeamDamonRox, anneryn7, Heart-Broken-In-Love, MinaFTW, Dbz rox, TwilightRocks, TdiBridgette, Lady Salvatore, Rogue Assasin, Hana.M, BeatrixMayfeir, FutureActressKS, xXspoiiledheartXx, Breakfastclub85, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, ..son, XOLittleGreenMonsterXO, Vampirewithasecret, BroadwayAngelLyric, Vamp213, Vie, and *Welcome Back* BereniceAndrea for reviews and questions! Peace, Love, and Chocolate.

Katherine: Hey Chi! Let's play with something sharp!

*Shakes head*

Bonnie: So there's a round two? I thought you gave up?

Nah. I ready want to see Damon and Eric fight. Question? Are you a Bonnie girl, Elena girl, or Katherine girl? I just want to know.

Damon: Your kidding me!

Nope!

Stefan: *Sighs* Bye.

Sam: He's mine tonight!

Castiel: No!

Jack: *Takes off his pants* WHO WANTS TO SEE MY TROUSER MONKEY!

Alice: Night guys sweet dreams!


	56. Why did they hurt Zim?

Shows they can't do together!

Invader Zim!

Gir: I like waffles!

Zim: Be quite Gir! I'm trying to conquer a world of pathetic humans and all you care about is waffles!

Gir: But I like waffles.

Damon: *Laughs* Who does this remind you of.

Stefan: *Sighs* I don't know but you're going to tell me anyways.

Damon: You damn right I will!

Zim: *Screams*

Damon & Stefan: *Looks around*

Zim: HOW DARE….

Gir: *Screams*

Zim: Gir?

Gir: *Screams*

Zim: Gir!

Gir: *Screams and runs around*

Zim: SHUT UP!

Gir: He stepped on my waffles!

Damon: *Looks at the floor and wipes his shoe on the floor* Is that Billy?

Stefan: I thought you were talking about Chi.

Damon: Nah her catchphrase is 'That's Mean.' Talk about annoying.

Stefan: Yeah, piss off the writer.

Damon: What is she going to do about it?

Zim: *Picks up a gun and shoot Damon*

Stefan: That.

Zim: GIR WHERE DID YOU PICK THE FREEZE LAZER!

Damon: …What?

Stefan: *Covers mouth and trys not to laugh*

Damon: *Twitch* Haha. Very funny!

Gir: You look pretty.

Damon: *Dressed in a can-can outfit* I hate you!

Your welcome!

Stefan: *Takes a picture* Eric would love this.

Damon: …*Tackles Stefan* GIVE ME THAT DAMN PICTURE!

Gir: *Takes a picture of the brothers*

Stefan & Damon: …..

Zim: GET OUT OF MY LAIR YOU FITHLY HUMANS!

Gir: *Skips* Doo, doo, doo, dobby, dobby, booby!

Stefan: *Pushes Damon off him* Give us the picture! *Chases after Gir*

Damon: Oh shut up and call your green dog!

Zim: NEVA!

Damon: *Hits Zim*

Zim: *Cries* WHY DOES EVERYONE HURT ZIM? WHY!

Damon: Oh shut up and get the pic!

* * *

*Laughs* Thanks Gir.

Damon: And what are you going to do with that?

This? *Points to the picture*

Stefan: Yeah.

I'm giving this to the highest bidder.

Damon: *Walks over to me* No your not.

He's threating me!

Damon: It's not a threat…it's a promise.

*Blushes* Hiei?

Damon: Hiei?

Hiei: Back away from my fan girl.

Damon: *Growls* Yours!

Alice: Who is he?

He's my first major crush. He beats Damon in evil/good guy character. *Blushes harder*

Damon: I doubt that.

Edward: He's good? *Points to Damon*

Alice: I guess.

Seth: Really doubt it though.

Damon: Shut up! And you…*Points to Hiei* Leave! *Turns to me* What did I tell you about bringing more characters on here!

But he's my….

Damon: *Rubs my cheek then pinches it* I'll make you regret those words.

Bonnie: Hooo. Jealousy.

Damon: …Shut up.

OW! Hurting here!

Damon: *Let's go and pops me on the head* …

Hiei: You okay?

Zero: *Points his gun at Hiei* Vampire?

Hiei: Demon.

Zero: Okay. *Walks away*

Stefan: …what?

Jack: Hello Boonie I'm Jack, care to do the Sparrow dance with me with our clothes off?

Bonnie: …

Elena: That means no.

Jack: What's you name love?

Elena: Elena. Remember? We met not too long ago.

Jack: Yeah…I don't remember.

Katherine: *Folds arms* You're not doing FGW?

Not today.

Katherine: *Laughs* I hope they kill you.

Why do you hate me?

Katherine: Because you are a bitch. Deal with it.

O.O…

Alice: KATHERINE!

Katherine: Bring it on fairy!

…

Satan: Issues.

*Nods* Let's start the show. TwilightRocks said that she's a Katherine girl. But she tried to kill me.

Katherine: …You have no proof.

*Pulls out a camera* See she tried to kidnap me and throw me off the roof!

Katherine: When will you die!

*Frowns* Huh?

Katherine: I poisoned your cupcakes.

…No wonder they taste weird.

Katherine: You too much of an idiot to die huh?

I'm not stupid!

Alice: *Growls* Katherine leave her alone!

Bonnie: *Sighs*

Katherine: *Smirks* Come on Ally, want to play with the big bad Kat?

Alice: *Rolls up her sleeves* You're a dead woman.

Katherine: Can't be something I already am…*Gets tackled by Alice*

Alice: DIE!

Bonnie, Elena, & Me: …

Sookie: What I missed?

Craziness.

Gir: Waffles!

Sookie: *Points to Gir with a confused look*

From Invader Zim.

Twilight: Damon so what did Eric do to u?

Damon: …I really don't want to talk about it.

Eric: I recorded it.

*whispers* Can I have one?

Damon: *Growls*

TwilightRocks: Damon, I'm your bitch for the chapter so what u want me to do *suggestive wink*

Damon: Dress up like a playboy bunny outfit and meet me in the back room after the show. I need so stress relief.

TwilightRocks: *Giggles*

Hiei, how's you arm?

Hiei: Pretty good so far.

*Swoons*

Damon: Hey Bonnie you have one of your spell books?

Bonnie: *Pulls a book out of her bag* Why do you need…*Damon snatches the book*

Damon: *Throws it at my head*

OW! *Holds head* That's so mean!

Eric: It's alright I'll punish him later.

Damon: *Twitch*

Thank you, Eric. *Sticks tongue out*

Twilight: Eric, how was it?

Eric: *Smirk*

Damon: …

Twilight: Stefan, what did Lestat do to u last chapter?

Stefan: …Many horrible things.

Twilight: Yeah, I want to know what horrible things.

Stefan: I don't want to talk about it.

Twilight: Please.

Stefan: No.

Twilight: FutureActress I will join your group to kill Edward.

Edward: Why is everyone against me?

*Shrugs*

Edward: You hated me for a second didn't you? What happened? You feel in love with me?

No. My fear of chocking on doughnuts trumps my hate for you. *Stares at Katherine*

Katherine: *Mouths out* Die.

Alice: …Let's do that Fan Girl War 2 now. I'll kill Katherine now!

*Nervous laugh*

Alice: Stop trying to kill her!

Katherine: I can't, she's in my way.

Of what? The door!

Katherine: Damon is my toy!

….Good for you. *Claps*

Katherine: *Tackles me*

STRANGER DANGER!

Sookie: *Places hand up and sends Katherine flying*

Why do people want to either kill me or kidnap me! *cries in the corner*

Damon: Stop complaining…

Shut up stupid man whore!

Damon: Proud of it.

Alice: *Smirks* Alright. Let's go Chi bear!

Where?

Alice: Let's go to the wonderful land called the backroom!

Damon: Do you want to die?

Alice: *Laughs* Let's see how fast you are. *Throws me over her shoulder and disappears*

Damon: *Growls*

Bonnie: Give it up Damon, she can see the future.

Damon: I hope she can see my fist in her face.

Stefan: Aren't you going to stop them?

Damon: …Shut up Stefan.

Twilight: chi on the teams I would be on Stefan's, Damon's, and Castiel's

Damon: She's not here she's busy screwing the fairies sister can I please take a message.

Twilight: You seem tense.

Damon: *Growls*

Gir: Let's song the dooby, doo song! Dooby, dooby, dooby, dooo!

Eric: *Grabs Gir and throws him somewhere*

Twilight: Sam I dare u and Cas too have sex one time. Please!

Sam: No. I hate him.

Castiel: I'm not fond of you either Samuel.

Sam: It's Sam.

Castiel: Whatever.

Hey Anneryn do you have any potions?

Anneryn: Yeah. *Hands me a bottle*

Thank you! *Throws it at Sam and Castiel*

A few seconds later.

Sam: I love you!

Castiel: Ah!

Damon: *Pukes* GO IN THE BACKROOM!

Dean: …

Alice: *Holds a camera* Here we come porn hub!

Stefan: *Covers eyes*

Lestat: Anneryn do you have any more?

Anneryn: That was the only one on me right now.

Lestat: Drat!

Edward & Me: I'm turned on by this.

Damon: …Shut up. *pukes again*

Gir: Are they dancing?

Zero: …Ew.

Bob: I'M HERE TO CLAIM YOUR SOUL! ...THE FUCK!

Love is a weird thing. *giggles*

Heart-Broken: Alice you giving out copies.

Alice: Yeah.

We got to love technology!

Castiel: I'll never let another man have you.

Sam: Have all of me.

Damon: *Walks out the room*

Stefan: *Follows*

Bob & Zero: Just kill me.

After an hour.

Damon: They done yet?

*Shakes head* Their in the backroom now.

Heart-Broken: *Glares at Damon* You son of A bitch how dare you put my baby in a cage! *takes baby out cage*

Damon: Hey! You baby ate my hand do you know how hard it is to grow it back! It's not my fault you baby is a retarded Satan baby.

O.O TAKE COVER!

Heart-Broken: …*Folds Damon in all the wrong ways* Retarded!

Damon: *Can't scream*

Heart-Broken: *Throws him somewhere*

He's sorry!

Damon: *Coughs up blood*

Heart-Broken: Okay now you get to attack Damon the whole Show! Oh and Damon I dare you to let the bay do whatever he wants to you and you cant stop him.

Damon: *Coughs* Fu…ck.

Satan: *Stabs him with a knife while laughing*

Heart-Broken: So it asked you to feed it? You know you have to feed it right chi? I'll do it myself then! Come here Satan.*takes shirt and bra off and breast feeds baby not caring who sees*

Everyone: O.O…

Heart-Broken: Ohh there's a Pole! *starts dancing on pole*

…*Whispers to Alice* When did we get a pole.

Alice: Today I guess.

Rogue: *Smirks*

Heart-Broken: …Stay away from me.

Rogue: *Laughs*

Heart-Broken: Zero back off Katherine! She is awesome everyone is a bitch or a vampire these days! Shit I'll admit I am a bitch and I enjoy every single second of it! Oh and if you don't you will regret it deeply *eyes flicker black and then back to normal*

Zero: Any pain you can deal me will be nothing compared to the one I deal with now.

Got a point. He's even in pain right now trying to fight back with the vampire side of him!

Heart-Broken: And I care why?

Zero: Whatever.

Heart-Broken: Charity Can you please not lock up my baby. If it attacks you take away its knives that are its favorite toy plus biting people!

I didn't lock him up. *Points to Damon*

Damon: Evil bastard.

Satan: I'll eat you soul.

O.O…Keep it away from Bob.

Heart-Broken: *hugs* you are so abused! Well I warned Damon didn't I? *smiles*

Damon: Please go to hell.

Heart-Broken: *Smiles* I'll drag you blood caked body with me.

…I'm turn on by this.

Damon: Your sick…picturing me naked huh?

*Looks away*

Heart-Broken: Eric Pam distract Alice and Damon please! *Goes with Charity to back room* :)

Damon: Touch my ass again Eric I dare you. So help me…

Pam: That was me honey.

Damon: I don't mind then…where she go?

Eric: Who?

Alice: …*Sighs*

Heart-Broken: Can Alice do that?

…*Falls to the ground* I'm melting.

Heart-Broken: *Looks down at me* Rogue didn't rape me did she? Cause I predicted yesterday that I was gonna be raped...

Rogue: You wanna watch I got it on DVD.

Heart-Broken: ….O.O *Walks away from Rogue*

Rogue: You're so cute.

Heart-Broken: Damon, I warned you and bitch you don't listen so... *rips his balls off with my teeth and shoves it down Stephanie's throat drains his blood and drinks it shoves him down the worlds biggest paper shredder and hands him to Eric for him to rape him*

*Covers eyes*

Eric: Not much to rape here.

Heart-Broken: Go try anyways!

Eric: *Shrugs*

Heart-Broken: I warned you Damon you didn't take me seriously. Then you pissed me off more by locking my baby up! *Sees Damon is still alive and uses Demon powers on him* Don't fuck with me again Damon or you will regret it!

Stefan: I think he already does.

Heart-Broken: Don't talk to me until it's your turn to be killed.

Stefan: *Places his hands up and slowly back away*

Heart-Broken: *Smiles* Satan you can stay out the cage if you keep attacking Damon AND Stefan! No Chi! Chi good Chi will give you knives! Right Charity? *whispers to charity Say yes and it wont attack you*

*Nods fast* Yes!

Satan: *Points at me then at its mouth*

I'm scaried.

Heart-Broken: It will be alright. Oh and don't attack Seth or I will kill you even though were blood related.

Seth: Yeah!

Heart-Broken: *Turns to Bob* STAY AWAY FROM SATAN! Oh and no none of it got in my mouth but nice try it wont work remember demons have no soul so if you get inside of me you will die not me I never Die!

Bob: I WILL CLOG YOUR BREATHING TUBE! MUHAHAHAHA.

Heart-Broken: Yeah Charity do you still that one bat?

I think it's here. *Finds it and hands it to her*

Heart-Broken: *Presses the button on the side of the bat* YOU'RE NOT EVEN WORTH OF USING MY POWERS ON!

Bob: AHHH!

Alice: …I don't want to piss this chick off.

Katherine: Scared Tinkle Bell?

Alice: No. She might mess up my new dress.

Vampires. Go figure.

Heart-Broken: Bonnie, okay ready to attack him *when Bonnie says yeah began to use demon powers on Damon*

Damon: *Cough* First…on…my list…I want you head!

Heart-Broken: *Kicks him in the side* That was so fun!

Music starts playing

Gir & Jack: *Start disco dancing*

Pirates disco?

Alice: You should see Edward do it.

*Thinking* Someone did a story on that.

Alice: *Laughs* Funny!

Heart-Broken: Looks like I forgot to torture you last chapter don't worry I will fix that  
*cracks neck and eyes go black bites Stefan demon teeth ripping his flesh off* Oh Lestat you'll like this.

I-It's just like what Tara did on True Blood!

Edward: That was disgust.

*Nods* Ew. Damon made me do anything but never that.

Damon: *Stretches* That's to gross for me. *Rolls arms*

Stefan: *Chocks on his blood*

Heart-Broken: Part of my Demon powers will make you go down in pain not feeling a thing yet you can't move so *sees that power on him* Go ahead Lestat rape him! I won't stop using the power until you're satisfied!

Lestat: You're so bloody. Oh well beggars can't be choosers huh?

Damon: Try it and I'll kick your ass.

Lestat: Treaty huh?

Damon: Yeah.

Lestat: Fun.

Stefan: *twitch*

Heart-Broken: oh and you said "She forgot about me" What do you enjoy it? *raises eyebrow*

Stefan: I enjoyed that you left! *Coughs*

Heart-Broken: Jack *in bar maid out fit* Wanna have some fun? *is drunk*

Alice: Why is someone so cute so vicusis?

It just makes this show more fun!

Katherine: She makes me proud.

*Rolls eyes*

Jack: Let's dance!

Heart-Broken: Okay! *Starts dancing* Strawberry Daiquiris are the best no?

Jack: Nothing can beat rum.

Heart-Broken: Back room now! *drags Jack to back room*

Damon: Fun. *Rolls eyes*

Jasper: I'm back!

Alice: *Folds her arms and walks away*

Jasper: Still not happy with me no?

Alice: *Growls*

O.O? What happened between you two?

Jasper: I don't know.

Heart-Broken: *Smile* Hey Jasper! Hey weren't you in the story too? What happened to you?

Jasper: I took a long vaca at Vegas.

Seth: No fair.

Heart-Broken: Katherine hmmm can't kill Chi sorry she is just awesome! Anyone but Charity and Satan!

Katherine: Then kill Alice. She annoys me.

Alice: And you're a bitch.

Katherine: That was your first clue.

Heart-Broken: Ugh why did you change Stefan he just sucks and is pathetic I mean bunnies really? If I was a vampire shit enough said there wouldn't be anymore humans!

Stefan: I moved up.

Heart-Broken: Still don't care! *Turns to Katherine* So did you just get bored of Damon and Stefan? If you did I can tell why I mean I used to looove Damon to death then he got just bleh you know what i mean?

Katherine: Yeah. They both became bleh but I really want to see Stefan goody two shoes to lose control for a while. Damon was too much of a one trick pony.

Damon: That's why you died in the books.

Katherine: *Rolls eyes*

Heart-Broken: *Drags to back room* Why didn't you fight Pam? Not that I would really want you too cause Pam well she is just so fucking awesome!

Seth: I was too busy watching you fighting. Matrix.

Pam: *nods*

Heart-Broken: Pam, Did you enjoy watching me and Rogue fight?

Pam: Yeah. I love a little girl on girl action.

Heart-Broken: You're still awesome aha. *drags to backroom*

Stefan: Busy lady.

*Nods*

Jack: Where is the Black Pearl love?

In the ocean?

Jack: …Oh.

Hour later.

Heart-Broken: Alice, so you had the visions when you were human too?

Alice: I see your nipples.

Heart-Broken: Answer the question.

Alice: …Okay. Yeah but they come out of the blue and I couldn't control it.

Heart-Broken: Was it fun in the Asylum? Did they have internet?

Alice: Not really. And no they did have internet.

Heart-Broken: You just made a really bad mistake with your comment! *uses powers the most that has ever done that will induce a whole lot of pain* Guess what? Bella's not straight

Bella: It's true Im always lusting after girls that's why Im always so glad you cant hear my thought. Hi Pam.

Pam: Stupid girl but has a good tongue.

Heart-Broken: Told you? *shrugs* Stupid Fairy! Go fuck your unsparkly twin brother!

Stefan: …I don't like you.

Edward: ….Bella why!

Bella: *Shrugs and leaves*

Heart-Broken: Elena you piss me off you stupid! Bonnie and Katherine are waaaaaaayyyyyy better then you because your a stupid goody too shoes that needs to just die you act like your all that when your just a piece of shit. That's why don't have no fan girls cause your pathetic and weak unlike Katherine who is just the straight of opposite of you which is good*uses demon power on her and then cuts all her hair off*

O.O. Poor Elena.

Elena: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: Everyone who is the most evilest person you have met?

My mom.

Damon: Katherine.

Stefan: Katherine.

Lestat: I've met a lot of evil people so I can't narrow it down to one.

Eric: That bastard who's the king of Mississippi.

Pam: The King.

Bonnie: Damon. Burn in hell.

Damon: I can feel your lust over here.

Bonnie: …EW!

Zero: Rodeo.

Bob: Chi on her period.

…What I can be cranky.

Bob: You ripped my head off.

You burnt up my yuri stuff! What did you expect?

Damon: What?

Stefan: Lesbian.

Damon: And you know this why?

Stefan: You never been in her room before?

Damon: No.

Stefan: …Then never mind.

Edward: Jane.

Elena: YOU!

Katherine: Me.

Seth: Never met any one more evil then the stupidity of Bella. It's very scary.

Heart-Broken: Have you fucked that person?

No…Ew!

Damon: Yeah.

Stefan: Yeah.

Eric: Maybe.

Pam: No.

Bonnie: No. Never want to.

Edward: Yeah.

Elena: No.

Katherine: Yeah.

…Really?

Katherine: You do it too.

That's too much info of mine your giving out .

Heart-Broken: What's your favorite song

Right now is Offspring's Trust in you…I think that's what it's called.

Alice: Where's Sam, Castiel , and Dean?

Hears moans coming from the backroom.

Having fun.

Damon: Born to be Wild.

Stefan: Lips of an Angel.

Eric: Have none.

Pam: Don't Cha.

Bonnie: Closer.

Bob: Cha, Cha slide!

Edward: The song I wrote for Bella…*Stars crying*

Elena: Starstruck.

Katherine: Cold hard Bitch.

And don't worry about next chapter I won't let Rogue rape you.

Rogue: Don't make promises you can fulfill.

…*Sigh*

FutureActressKS: Chi, You should totally bring Gir on the show!

Gir: You wanna dance with me?

FutureActress: In a second. *Turns to Edward* Stupid fairy *pokes eyes out.* really, really hate you. Bella can do so much better.

Edward: *Cries harder*

Damon: Don't tell me you feel sorry for him.

But he's crying.

Damon: Not out business.

But…

Damon: Go over there and I will burn you Yaoi's, your Yuri's, and whatever fucked up shit you have in you room.

*Demon voice* DON'T TOUCH MY STUFF! *Twitches*

Stefan: …

Eric: …

Lestat: Got a few to spare?

Yeah. What kind do you like? *Smiles*

BeatrixMayfeir: OH MY GOD! Chi tell me you made a tape of Jacob and Louis making out that was so hot! And Dumbledore's boyfriend was Grindewald and he was evil and Dumbledore had to kill him! The book 7 sucks I hated it: that damn Rowling killed Fred, Piton and Remus like if Sirius wasn't enough!

Why are she killing everyone!

Beatrix: Yeah very stupid on her part.

Damon: I don't care.

You should! Your author might kill you off.

Damon: …She wouldn't do that to her star.

It's a trend that I found in book where they either kill off the main character or the favorite character to get the book more attention.

Damon: J.L. I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU EVER DO THAT TO ME.

Don't piss her off.

Beatrix: Damon you really don't know how to take care of babies, don't you?

Damon: No.

Beatrix: Let me help:*gives Satan a lollipop for demons and strokes his hair* you are a good little demon, don't you? You'll be strong and evil like your mommy one day! *Takes Steffie and Angel and starts sing an Italian lullaby to make them stop crying and go to sleep* Sleep well little princesses. They will be fine for a couple of hour. See Damon? It's not that hard! You have a beautiful voice use it! *Laughs* god I really want to see you sing and rock the babies!

Damon: Why don't you do it for me?

Stop being lazy.

Beatrix: Cas you are the best*kisses him*! Eric vs. Damon: EPIC!

Damon: I'll get raped.

It will be fun.

Beatrix: For Rogue *hugs her knees* PLEASE tell me that what you said about Dragonball is true! I want to see it! Vegeta is so hot and Bardock too!

Yay!

Beatrix: So Caroline's twins are Tyler's? I have had a problem figuring out if the father was Tyler or Shinichi! And I'm all for "the witch and the Vampire belong together" things because I'm a witch too, but I can't forgive Bonnie for what she said to Damon in the bathroom after he saved her from the malach's poison! He was so hurt by that and he didn't deserve it! Poor Damon*hugs Damon and strokes his hair* it's ok baby I'm here and I'll protect you from all those bitches*growls to Elena, Katherine and Bonnie*!

Bonnie: *Shrugs*

Elena: What did I do?

Katherine: Don't care.

Beatrix: Rogue can I join you and Pam in the backroom sometimes?

That would probably be a yes.

Alice: I think so too.

Rogue: Hey!

Your turn to ask questions and inform as on stuff?

Rogue: I should get my own little thing on here, Rogue's corner? Or maybe something a bit more colorful?

*Laughs* Maybe.

Rogue: Awww Chi you're sooo cute dressed like a ring announcer... hmmm something isn't right... *Rogue rips Chi's trouser legs turning them into hot shorts* Much better I'm sure Damon appreciates it...

Damon: Why don't you dress her up one day?

Stop staring at me like that!

Damon: Nice legs.

*Blushes*

Katherine: Haha. *Throws a knife at me*

*Dodges* O.O.

Damon: *Slaps forehead*

Rogue: Awww heart broken... raping you was fun... Pam you got that on camera didn't you hun? I think we should play it over and over again to Satan to show him I own his momma's ass - heck that kid might end up catatonic and stop attacking Damon.

Heart-Broken: *Growls*

Rogue: *Laughs* Damon - I will protect you from Heart broken and Eric rapes as long as you help me save Stefan from Lestat I'll even help you with that demon baby *Hands Damon a potion* I stole that off Bonnie - it's a love potion - make Satan drink it and look at Bob... Bonnie was planning to use the potion on Elena...

Bonnie: *Nervous laugh* N-No I wasn't.

Satan: * drinks potion and falls in love with Bob - starts using knives to cut away at Bob*

That's love?

Katherine: It's suppose to be painful.

Rogue: I hate writers block - I suffered from it for a while - it sucks not knowing what to do next...

Yeah.

Rogue: I saw the promo for the supernatural anime - they didn't do a good job with capturing the boys good looks - My best bud (Who I happen to be smitten with) thinks I'm a nerd for watching anime - and I need a shrink for loving Damon and Eric and Pam well for loving vampires in general... but he's so epically legendary its AWESOME.

*Laughs*

Rogue: I really want to see a triple threat match - Katherine Vs Bonnie Vs Elena fuck we could make it a fatal 4 way - Katherine Vs Bonnie Vs Elena Vs Bella - LEGENDARY!

What about Sookie and Alice?

Alice: I want to dig my crawls into Katherine.

Katherine: I'm waiting for you honey.

Alice: *Tackles Katherine*

They are worst then the guys.

Satan: *Shake head*

Jasper: She is so hot.

Rogue: Kat what I say about kicking Chi - You don't want an angry Rogue on your hands *Rogue throws ninja stars at Katherine's face* Well my shotgun got totalled when I beat down Bob... and Dean won't gimme one of his *Rogue pouts and throws ninja stars at Sam and Cas*

Dean: O.O Why them!

Rogue: *Shrugs* What they looked bored.

Gir: Hi!

Rogue: Hey.

Gir: Wanna waffle.

Rogue: Edward you should just keep quiet - Chi I REALLY wanna see Edward Vs Eric well Eric, Pam and Damon have already fought so... Edward Vs Wolverine! I bet you Satan would like Wolverine he shoots knives from his hands...

Satan: Yeah!

Rogue: Oh God NO! Jacob has been tainted *Rogue get huge tub, bleach and scrubbing brush and starts scrubbing Jacob clean - Rogue rinses Jacob's mouth with bleach* I think I washed the Louis off him - This Jacob is clean.

Louis: He loved every second of it.

Rogue: STOP TAINTING HIM!

Louis: He's the one crawling into my bed not your's.

Rogue: Come on Chi don't complain you know you LOVE what Damon does to you when the camera's go off... Damon I have a secret to tell you - Chi has a green vibrator called Daddy D that she uses when you go fuck fangirls :D

O.O!

Damon: What?

T-that's a lie.

Damon: What is?

It's pink but…

Damon: Stefan take over the show.

Stefan: Where you going?

Damon: *Evil smile* Were finding Daddy D. *Drags me to the backroom*

Bonnie: *Slaps her forehead*

Save me!

Rogue: Damon when you fight Eric I'll have your back - Pam I still love you but I have a deal with Damon - he protects Stef's back door and I protect his.

Damon: *Yells back* Okay.

DO YOU NOT CARE?

Rogue: Hey Damon that song wasn't gay it was APPROPRIATE for you and Charity - I think it was sweet. Hey I hear in VD season 2 Damon is going to be the sweet caring one and Stefan's taking a walk on the dark side - I think that scene with Kat and Damon jumping each other was hot.

Stefan: He's playing house with Chi. So he's not here to listen.

Rogue: Bonnie - you BELONG with Damon - you either go make Damon happy in the back room right now or I'm doing a lemmon one shot with you and Damon - I am pretty good and explicit with my Lemmons - ask Chi.

Bonnie: No. I do not belong to him.

Rogue: Fine. *Evil smirk*

Bonnie: …

Rogue: Eric I dare you to make Kat your bitch - I want to see her shiver at the mention of your name - and Pam can join seeing as Kat got one her nerves last chappy.

Eric: Looks like I have a new mission on life.

Katherine: Keep your hands away from me.

Pam: I wonder how much she screams during sex.

Katherine: Not my type.

Rogue: Satan - you will leave Damon alone and go bother Edward - or I'll BURN your knives before your eyes.

Satan: O.O! I'll tell my mommy!

Rogue: *Laughs evilly* *Rogue hands Castiel collar and leash* Go get her tiger * Rogue slaps Cas's ass as he chases Kat with collar and Leash*

Castiel: Come here.

Katherine: Touch me with that thing and I'll end you.

Rogue: Lestat - Stefan is mine - seeing as Charity has booked Damon and I can't have him I'm having his brother. *Rogue slaps Lestat and kicks him in the balls and uses taser on him*.

Lestat: *licks his lips* I like it rough.

Rogue: Wolvy Daken is your kid from your wife - the one you thought died - she was pregnant and they took the baby from her body after you buried her - he had your regenerative powers so he survived and joined Dark XMEN and Dark Avengers.

Wolverine: Wow. Drama.

Rogue: Yep

Wolverine: Okay.

Rogue: Dean you have earned brownie points for having Stef and D's backs with Eric and Lestat*Rogue flashes boobs at Dean and Dean faints*

Sam: Hey!

Rogue: You want the whip again?

Sam: …

Rogue: Hey Beatrix *Rogue hugs Beatrix* sure I'll team up and beat Elena with you - if you team up with me to torture Eddie boy FutureActress you can join me and Beatrix to hurt Eddie , Edward stop hiding behind Bob the Bunny.

Edward: I can do whatever I want!

Rogue: Just die. You're a waste of space.

Edward: Your mom is.

Rogue: That's very sad.

Bob: EAT ME!

Rogue: *Ignores Bob* Damon you are so right the only reason that fangless toad Edward is winning is because there are retarded kids out there who think it's okay to leave your education get knocked up and live like a doormat then give your kid away to your exs boyfriend so in some sick way you can have your ex vicariously through your kid – Damon, Eric we have a mission we will destroy all twilight books across the world - whose joining us? Then we're going to get Meyer and Glamour her into thinking she's Santa Claus so she'll go live in the North Pole and NEVER write a book again.

Damon: Sure I'm down for that. *Pulls up his pants*

Stefan: Where is she?

Damon: *Smiles* Whiplash.

Stefan: Why…*Places hands up* I don't even want to know.

Damon: Smart man.

Rogue: Edward how can 'yours' be bigger than Damon's? Unless you're talking about your butt hole which Louis practically walks in and out NOTHING of yours is bigger than Damon's. Hey Chi in the books Eric has the biggest dick amongst vampires... Sookie choked when she first saw it oh yeah and Eric showed Sookie how to give a Blow Job :D

*Twitch* No wonder I was chocking ….

Damon: Do you want to be punished again? *Smiles*

*Shakes head*

Damon: Then don't finish that sentence.

Okay.

Rogue: Had fun?

I'm sore.

Rogue: What all he do to you?

Too much…I'm melting!

Rogue: *Shakes head* LESTAT! *Rogue's eyes glow red. Rogue grabs Zero's bazooka and blasts Lestat's head off* That's for kissing Stefan again! *Rogue hands Stefan Bleach, mouthwash and Toothpaste*

Stefan: Thank you.

Rogue: You know what to do - hurry up I'll help you get Lestat of your tastebuds.

Stefan: *Goes washes his mouth out*

Rogue: *Grabs Pam then Rogue and Pam make out with Stefan and each other but mostly each other* So whose joining me and Pam and whose watching?

Alice: Me!

Seth: I have nothing better to do.

Wolverine: I'll go.

Rogue: Bon Bon - wanna join?

Bonnie: Maybe.

Rogue: I agree with Vie I have a feeling that Bonnie and D will have some awesome anger filled 'Fuck you' sex - and Bonnie's a witch... you never know... maybe them 2 supernaturals would have a mini Damon or a mini Bonnie Gosh I feel bad if it were a mini Bonnie Damon would kill any dude who looked at her - I don't think Bonnie would want it though - Damon would have to be a single Dad but somehow I think Damon fits the single Dad profile somewhat... I really wanna do a Damon Daddy one shot :D

That sounds awesome.

Damon: This one didn't leave a name.

Stefan: Call her .

A?

Damon Better than what I was going to call her.

*Slaps forehead*

: ….

Happy?

Stefan: Yeah.

: Chi i think you and Katherine should fight. I'm all the way on your side. Who's with me? Damon im starting to like you...but im still gonna whoop your ass. *pulls at stake and beats Damon*

Damon: Please don't tell me that this is LeLe.

What if it's not?

Damon: I'm still going to rip there head off!

: Bob your not scary at all since your now in a bunnies body.

Bob: I hope you know what's in your food.

: Stefan guess what. Go to the backroom.*it's completely filled with bunnies*

Stefan: *Walks to the backroom* What am I going to name them all!

: Bonnie you're awesome.

Bonnie: Thanks.

: Katherine i hate you bitch. *repeatedly stakes you in the heart*

Katherine: *Screams*

: Lestat your creepy. Edward your gay now? Srsly? Wow. Your pathetic*burns you*

Edward: *Screams* I HATE YOU! AND I'M NOT GAY!

Damon: Very hard to tell.

Stefan: *Nods*

: Sam i'm no longer on your side. Im team Cas now. Elena your not that bad...just not that great.

Sam & Elena: ….

: Chi have you ever seen totally spies? It's like a kiddies show but i still love it.

I miss it. I use to be addictive to that show.

And Stefan you should be pissed at Elena. Because in the books she never told you what happened in that hotel room.

Stefan: …*Twitch*

Elena: It's nothing! I haven't done anything!

Stefan: Yet!

: And chi i would love it if you brought sage from the books on.

I will try.

: Do.

…okay.

MEEPheheCandy: lol Stefan is like Edward, that's why i love Damon instead!

Stefan: I'm nothing like him! *Points to the crying Edward in the corner*

LadySalvatore: *Walks out naked again* I missed you Damon :( *Tackles him and hugs him*If you're going to do another FGW, Damon; I'll be on your team and help you fight your opponent while I'm naked. Don't ask why, I just don't feel the need for clothes :)  
*Clings to him*

Bob: Haha boobs.

LadySalvatore: It's not for your eyes! It's all for Damon.

Damon: You heard that.

Alice: Good for you.

MinaFTW: Walks in and sees Zero Your right I am a heartless bitch to Elena, I'm sorry.  
* Walks over and hugs him slipping the magic beads from Kaede around Zero* Bitch! if you ever call me a fucking Kaname like person again I will sit you to the ends of hell. Now Sit Boy! sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, SIT!

Zero: *Growls and slowly pulls out his gun*

YOU CAN'T SHOOT HER!

Zero: Fuck. * Zero is under the ground in a grave like hole.*

Scary!

Mina: You should bring Kagome! I love her, and lord Sesshomaru!

He is so hot!

Hiei: What about me?

*Blushes* Your way up there.

Mina: To Bonnie you forgot about the magic potion in my head. * Forces it down Bonnie's throat*

Bonnie: *Coughs* YOU CRAZY.

Damon: As crazy as you?

Bonnie: Damon you are a fucking Bastard

Damon: Yeah that didn't do much

Me: Just Wait a little bit

Bonnie: and your an egotistic jackass, but your so damn hot!

Me: told you

Bonnie and Damon start making out and heading to the back room.

Yeah bitches, I have kick-ass magic powers and purifying powers which reminds me.

Me: Hey bitch *shoots vervain arrow at Katherine and purifies her ass*

Elena: well at least it wasn't me

Me: shoots Elena with and arrow, die bitch!

Me: hey Stefan, how's my favorite vampire brother?

Goes over to Dean and starts making out with him.

…Yay?

Burntcinnamon: Gooooo Damon! You rock! Okay, all fangirls on Damon's side, lemme hear D-A-M-O-N! I have cheerleader outfits made out of leather! So all you other bitches out there know we are on Damon*s side! Gooooo Damon!

Damon: I am so good that I even have cheerleaders.

Stefan: Hope you head doesn't get any bigger.

Damon: As big as yours?

BereniceAndrea: FGW rocked! but I wanna be on a fight next time :) either Team Stefan or Team Katherine 3 OMG Katherine wanna team up and torture Edward? i just hate him *smiles*

Katherine: Sure. I'm tried of watching this pussy cry about Bella. Get over it.

Edward: Why!

Katherine: *Walks over to Edward, grabs his head and snaps his neck* SHUT UP!

Berenice: Bonnie can you teach me some really cool magic tricks? Some of the fan girls have demon powers; i want magic powers like yours!

Bonnie: Sure. You know it takes a lot of practice.

Berenice: I can handle it.

Bonnie: Cool.

Berenice: STEFAN! ! *tackles him and kisses him* I loooooooooooooooooove ! .NOW! Hey Damon come to the back room once I'm done with Stefan *wink. wink*

Damon: Awesome.

After an hour

Berenice: So Salvatores, question *evil laugh* who's better in bed, Elena or Katherine and WHY? Love you guys!

Damon: Katherine, she knows who to work it.

Stefan: Elena she can do things like Katherine can't.

Katherine: And what is that?

Stefan: *smirks* Wouldn't you like to know?

Berenice: Gilbert, you rock! Whenever you get a fangirl saying otherwise or torturing you like crazy, just call me ;) Ill defend you, I know how to fight... That's why Katherine is my role model *blushes* *attacks all Elena and Katherine haters*

You're going to be fighting for a long time.

Berenice: Sam, I know you're hurt, so you should make up with someone like Eric to make Dean jealous so he'll realize you're better than Cas (no offense Cas)

Sam: Yeah Dean.

Eric: You sure you can handle me?

Sam: I know I can.

Dean: haha. Very funny Sam.

Sam: I'm not happy that you choose Castiel over me.

Dean: Can we talk somewhere else?

Sam: I want answers now! *Growls and walks off*

Dean: Sam! *Chases after him*

Damon: So much drama.

*Nods*

Berenice: Eric, you're awesome but I'll like you as long as you DON'T MESS UP WITH KATHERINE , got it?

Eric: I just want to make her scream my name. *Innocent look*

Katherine: Yeah right.

Berenice: Chi, you keep rocking. *hugs you* It's great to be back! Ok, bye now!

Bye! See you soon!

Vampirewithasecret: I'm about to say something stupid...Katherine don't make me hit you in the fist with my face!

Katherine: …What?

Vampire: You heard me!

Katherine: Leave. Now. Before I drain you!

xXspoiiledheartXx: chi- great idea with the fan girl wars where did yu get tht idea

It was from the fangirls themselves. It's you guy's idea I just made it come to life…somewhat.

Spoiiled: Stefan- how do you put up with all of them (except chi)

Stefan: Pills. Nuff said.

Spoiiled: Edward- muhahahahahahaha!

Edward: *Sticks tongue out*

Spoiiled: Damon-so am i still on yur list damie (smiles sweetly)

Damon: On a different list.

BroadwayAngelLyric: I am a proud fangirl this war so I'm Team Eric, Pam, Sookie, Jack, Jacob, Damon, Katherine and Castiel.

Poor Sam.

Sam: What did I do to get….never mind.

Broadway: *kills Satan after stealing Heart-Broken In Love's demon powers*

Damon & Me: O.O!

Broadway: Damon, I handled it. Here's some of those bombs I make, here's 4 for you.

Damon: Okay. *Looks at me*

No.

Broadway: Zero, you get a two-person bomb. Back to Damon, I want to take out Stefan, Edward, and Barney for good. Wanna help?

Damon: Not sure about Stefan but the other two, sure.

Broadway: Why?

Damon: That bastard is the only one who's protecting my back door from Eric. And maybe Lestat. Fucking psycho!

Lestat: I just want Stefan.

Broadway: Chi, I want a match with any fangirl who dissed Damon, no one messes with my badass leader.

Beware! She is going to kick some ass!

Broadway: Stefan, seriously what are you going to do? Elena, Edward, and Katherine are here so you have 3 girls after you. Katherine, can you take out Stefan or at least slaughter his bunnies.

Edward: I have a dick!

Broadway: Don't really care.

Katherine: I killed them all. *Evil laugh*

Stefan: O.O! WHY!

Katherine: Their making you even gayer.

Broadway: Jack, I'm restocking your bar. You shall never be sober, my awesome beer pong partner.

Jack: THANK GOD!

Gir: THANK GOD!

Are those two drunk?

Stefan: Who know?

*Laughs*

Breakfastclub85: Chi For the FGW I am Team Damon and Team Dean, but if it it comes down to those two I am Team Dean ALL THE WAY! Sorry Damon.

Damon: Ouch!

Dean: I'm better with guns.

Damon: But not in a relationship.

Dean: Look who's talking.

Dean & Damon: *Get in each other's face* Bastard!

Guy's!

Sam: …*Sighs*

Breakfast: Chi Oh and I am an Elena girl myself. I am not a big fan of Katherine's cause she broke Damon's heart.

Elena: About fucking time!

Breakfast: Dean FUCK BUDDIES ALL THE WAY!

Dean: YEAH!

Damon: DON'T INGORE ME!

Breakfast: Stefan I apologize for making you kiss Lestat.

Stefan: It's okay…don't make me do that again!

Breakfast: Jack Favorite dance move?

Jack: Easy. The Sparrow Dance. You need no clothes.

Gir: NO CLOTHES!

Breakfast: Cas I dare you to dress up like Katy Perry!

Castiel: *Sighs*

It's a dare.

Castiel: *Walks into the dressing room* Come on and dress me up.

Okay! *Walks in the dressing room*

Damon: That's all you better be doing in there!

Seth & Alice: *Shakes head*

Vie: Chi; I hope u go to one hundred with this cuz its funny as hell. BUT...I'm upset wit u...where is Tara…she is really going through it and she needs laughter.

*Walks out the room* That is so true! I'll bring her on the next chapter.

Vie: BTW...I'm a fan of Bonnie..witches are the BOMB and she deserves R E S P E C T! (I'm only a fan of tv Bonnie)

Bonnie: Thanks.

Rogue Assasin: Oops forgot to say - I'm a Bonnie girl

Bonnie: I'm lucky.

Rogue: You know what would be awesome - bringing in the ULTIMATE bad boy - Darth Vader... Eric Vs Darth Vader LEGENDARY Still want Eric to say 'Damon I am your father' :D.

Eric: Come here.

Damon: No.

Eric: *Grabs Damon by the shoulder and whisper in his ear* Damon I am you father.

Damon: ….*Screams*

Eric: My work is done. * Walks away*

Well out show is over! I want to thank TwilightRocks, Heart-Broken-In-Love, FutureActressKS, BeatrixMayfeir, Rogue Assasin, , MEEPheheCandy, LadySalvatore, MinaFTW, Burntcinnamon, BereniceAndrea, Vampirewithasecret, xXspoiiledheartXx, BroadwayAngelLyric, and Breakfastclub85 for reviews and questions. Peace!

Alice: Love!

Sam: And Chocolate!

Castiel: *Twitch*

So Kawii!

Damon: …

Dean & Sam: *Laughs*

Castiel: *Wearing cupcake bikini top and short shorts* I hate you.

Pam: Looking good!

Castiel: I really hate you.

Tara: So I get to come on a show with a whole bunch of crazy people.

Hi Tara! You came early.

Tara: Too see what the hell I'm getting into.

Bye guys!

Tara: *Walks away*

Come Back! *Chases after her*


	57. A way to fuck up twilight

Shows They Can't Do Together!

New Moon?

Damon: Why am I in a wig? What are we doing in the woods?

Stefan: Why do I feel like I'm going to kill myself?

Jacob: Bella. *Grabs Damon's hand* I love you.

Damon: …THE FUCK IS THIS!

Stefan: You're kidding me right?

Jacob: Can't you understand? If you go with him you'll die.

Damon: I'm going to STAB YOU IN THE FUCKING NECK IF YOU DON"T LET GO OF MY HAND NOW!

Jacob: She's in love with me Edward.

Stefan: *Walks off* You can have her.

Damon: GET BACK HERE STEFAN!

Jacob: I love you Bella, I want you to keep living…for me.

Damon: Put a fucking shirt on. *Trys to shake Jacob's hand off* You're a strong little bastard aren't you.

Jacob: But I love you.

Damon: Yes…we know now let me go before I take that little wolf heart! YOU HORNY BASTARD! WHY DON'T YOU PUT ON A FREAKIN SHIRT! NO MEANS NO CLINGY!

* * *

Stefan: *Sighs* I got lost…

Jane: Aren't you suppose to be in Italy?

Stefan: *Takes a step back*

Jane: Please stick to the script.

Stefan: Huh? Aren't you way ahead of the script?

Jane: Your suppose to go to Italy and go kill yourself cause Alice didn't see Bella's future.

Stefan: …Bella can die for all I care.

Jane: *Uses powers*

Stefan: *Screams in pain*

Jane: Let's finish this story right or I will kill you.

Stefan: O-okay.

Jane: Good. *Stops her powers*

* * *

Damon: Tell him that I'm not Bella.

Charlie: Are you sick Bella?

Damon: *Twitch* Is everyone fucking stupid?

Charlie: It's time to go to La Push.

Damon: Huh? There's no way in hell I'm going to continue in this travesty.

Charlie: Please don't use big words Bella, your going to hurt your head like last time. Just go and visit Jacob so you can get over Edward. Crying will not solve your troubles.

Damon: No. Both those bastards can throw gasoline on themselves and burn like the emo bitches they are. Edward's like a creepy ass step father and Jacob is just a bitch.

Charlie: …Just go to La Push.

Damon: *Storms out the room* THIS IS BULL SHIT!

Charlie: I love you too Bella.

* * *

Stefan: You suck. *crosses his arms and sulking in a chair*

Alec: Good for you Edward.

Stefan: I am not Edward!

Jane: Don't make me use my powers on you!

Stefan: How long do I have to walk out of here, and why the hell do I have a robe on. I'm just shirtless.

Jane: Tape his mouth before I end him… permanently.

Alec: Agreed.

Stefan: *Hiss*You want to go at it?

Jane: *Stares at him* You're not in the position to say anything Edward.

Stefan: *Twitch* I'M NOT EDWARD!

Jane: Just keep talking and I'll make your brain spatter on the ground.

Stefan: …You still suck. Red eyed bitch.

Jane: ….You're dead.

* * *

Damon: I know how to ride a motorcycle.

Jacob: Just don't go too fast.

Damon: *squeeze the handle* Bye! *Drives away fast*

Jacob: Bella!

Damon: Bye clingy!

Jacob: But the cliff!

Damon: *Looks behind him* What? *Falls off a cliff*

* * *

Stefan: *Sighs*

Jane: Just sit there until I tell you too.

Alec: About time. *Rubs forehead*

Jane: Alice should be on que.

* * *

Alice: Bella…you're not…

Damon: I've been trying to tell them that for an hour now.

Jacob: I hope you're okay. *kisses Damon's hand*

Damon: *Punches him* Hard headed bastard.

Alice: …Um…did you get through that one scene.

Damon: I drove off the cliff to avoid all this complicated crap. Don't care who is a werewolf, I'm not touching one and they could all burn in hell!

Jacob: Bella.

Alice: *Shakes head* Let's go get your brother.

Damon: Finally, away from this lust puppy.

Jacob: I love you so much what can he do for you that I can't.

Damon: Stop being a whiney bitch and get back with me with that question.

Alice: …We should…go.

Charlie: Don't mind me. I'm just here to look like a father but doesn't do nothing about his bad daughter who keeps saying that it's for love. Retard.

Damon: Yeah…you have pint up stuff huh? You know what, never mind let's get Stefan and get the hell out of here.

Alice: Agree. I like Bella not you.

Damon: Never cared ginger.

Alice: *Hiss* Bite me.

* * *

Damon: Like I remember it.

Alice: I don't doubt that.

Damon: Lots of hot girls. *Smiles*

Alice: Let's just find that Stefan guy.

*Stefan walks out slowly and begins to undo his robe*

Damon: …RUN AWAY FROM THE LIGHT!

Alice: Yes, that's really helping him.

Damon: *Runs towards Stefan then tackles him* YOU THINK I FORGOT BASTARD! *Punches Stefan in the face* LEAVING ME WITH A HORNY DOG!

Stefan: *Hits him back* Jackass!

Alice: *Sighs as she watches the brothers fight*

Alice: O.O! What happened!

Damon: *Hids the bazooka behind Stefan* Nothing.

Stefan: Jane called him a one trick bitch.

Alice: And where he get that!

Damon: Alice. There are things that people must never know. They ask too many questions and then end up missing.

Alice: …Right. So where are the real Bella and Edward?

Damon: Probably dead in a ditch.

Stefan: *Stares at Damon*

Damon: *Places his hands up* I didn't do it. *smirk*

Jane: Not going down that easy.

Damon: ….

* * *

You didn't.

Damon: This is how Twilight should have been but without Jacob or my shirt…or Stefan for that matter.

Stefan: Big head.

Sam: Why did you mess it up?

Damon: Jane called me a bitch and I blew the bitch up.

Hiei: Way to fuck up a story.

*Slaps forehead* Really?

Jasper: Where was I?

Damon: You died. We got over it.

Jasper: *Twitch*

Dean: *Stares at me* Damon's work.

*Sighs* Yeah. *Wearing just a button up shirt* Fun huh?

Dean: You always go along…

No, he forced me. I should sick my sister on him.

Elena: You have a bruise on you leg.

*Stares at Katherine*

Katherine: I didn't expect you to bounce off the sidewalk.

STOP KILLING ME!

Katherine: I'm trying there's a difference.

Tara: It everyone so weird?

Sookie: Sadly yes.

Bonnie: *Nods*

We'll be doing part two soon.

Damon: Let's get this show over with.

Castiel: Agree.

Breakfastclub85: Hey guys!

*Waves* Hey.

Breakfastclub: Cas, You looked great in that Katy Perry outfit! Now dress up like Britney Spears!

Castiel: *Twitch* Let's go Chi.

Okay! *Walks to the dressing room*

Castiel: *Walks to the dressing room*

Alice: Damon's mad.

Damon: I'm not worried about a fairy.

Alice: So why are you going to the dressing room.

Damon: To see what they are doing…BWHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Castiel: *wearing a skin suit with jewels everywhere and wearing a plushie snake over his shoulder*

Dean: *Laughs*

Sam: Bwahahaha!

I think I did well.

Damon: Good job.

Castiel: If I didn't like you I would have struck you down with lighting.

Breakfastclub: Jasper *gives huge bear hug* I'm so glad you're back. I missed your awesome voice!

Jasper: *Smiles* Thanks at least someone missed me.

Alice: *Folds her arms and looks away*

Breakfastclub: Dean heyo fuck buddy! What is your fondest memory of your mother?

Dean: Hm…When she was pregnant and told me that I was going to be a big brother.

Damon: And what a big brother you have become. Fucking your brother.

Dean: At least I care about my brother!

Damon: *Looks at Stefan* I care for him in my own special way.

Dean: Like trying to steal his girlfriend.

Damon: Who can resist this charm? *Smiles*

Dean: Please you're not that special. If you wasn't a vampire people wouldn't care about you.

Damon: You want to fight?

Dean: *Pulls out a gun and points it at Damon* I'm ready to dance.

Guy!

Breakfastclub: Damon & Dean Please don't fight. I love you both. Just one a bit more than the other! *smiles seductively at Dean*

Dean: See.

Damon: Fine! I declare a challenge! Whose hotter me or you and the fan girls get to do whatever they want to the loser.

You are going to lose.

Damon: Thanks for the faith Chi.

I'm just saying if they all vote for Dean then they could do things like make you screw Stefan or be Eric's bitch for the day.

Breakfastclub: She got a point you know.

Damon: …I know the risk so I'm doing it. Are you in Winchester?

Dean: What would the winner get?

Damon: Anything he wants.

Dean: *Smirk* Really?

Damon: What do you want?

Dean: I want you to write a fic about me and Stefan.

Stefan: WHAT!

Damon: Fine.

Dean: A good lemon. What do you want in return?

Damon: I can take you car for a ride.

Dean: …Crap.

Damon: Is that a deal?

Dean: *Growls* If I find even a tiny thing wrong with my car I'll kill you!

Damon: *Smirk* It's a deal.

Okay?

Breakfastclub: Yeah?

Katherine: Whatever.

Breakfastclub: Edward, I can't believe you cried over Bella! She is so whipped!

Edward: Shut up! *Wipes his tears*

Breakfastclub: Gir lets dance! *clicks remote and Wannabe by the Spice Girls starts playing*

Gir: *Shakes his booty* WOAH!

Breakfastclub: *Dances beside him* YEAH!

Jack: PARTY!

TwilightRocks: I'm interrupting something?

Nope.

Twilight: Good. Chi I just got braces and they hurt so I'm going to be a major bitch this chapter!

No probs. It's what we're here for.

Twilight: Edward*Smiles* BURN IN HELL! * Lights with flame thrower* smorse anyone?

Zero & Hiei: *Raises hand*

Twilight: Bob you're awesome!

Bob: I'LL…What? Really?

Damon: That's a lie.

Bob: Well. I'm not going to kill you then.

Twilight: Damon: I'm in pain cause of my braces. Wanna make me feel better?* seductive wink*

Damon: Sure.

Twilight: Eric you, me backroom NOW!

Eric: …

Twilight: *Grabs Eric and drags him to the backroom*

Eric: …

Sam: Twilight says Katherine you are my mentor.

Katherine: I am a people person. *Throws a book at my head*

OW!

Katherine: See.

I'm going to the corner *Sobs* and cry with Edward! *Cries*

Katherine: We don't care.

Alice: I do!

Katherine: Well just her.

*Frowny face* Fine then I'm leaving! *Walks away*

Alice: Chi! *Run after me*

Katherine: Still not caring.

Breakfastclub: Satan baby * hands pacifier* good baby!

Satan: *Smiles*

Stefan: I thought he was dead?

Damon: He's Satan. Duh!

Stefan: True.

Anneryn7: Isn't anyone going to go get her.

Damon: Do you have questions for her?

Anneryn: No.

Damon: Than don't worry and let the brat throw her hissy fit.

Anneryn: Fine. My love to everyone!...even a little to Edward, but NONE to Bob.

Bob: YOUR SOUL BELONGS TO ME!

Anneryn: Yeah, like I'm scared of the Easter bunny!

Bob: I know where you live and watch you pee!

Anneryn: …Ew!

Bob: Aha!

Anneryn: *Ignores Bob* Edward, The guy who plays you in Vampires Suck, if SO MUCH hotter than you will ever be. Just wondering, does that bother you? ...Just out of curiosity. Because, DAMN, he really is.

Edward: I am hot. I have more fangirls then this bastard.

Anneryn: You know, I've been having a ton of trouble sleeping lately. I mean, falling asleep is just, well, a bitch. So, I was thinking... You could just come home with me. And we could*Leans forward and whispers something in his ear*... And then I would be worn out, and I would sleep better. And I bet you're really good to cuddle with. *wink*

Stefan: *Smiles* Sure.

Elena: *Coughs*

Stefan: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: GUESS WHO'S BACK!

Stefan: Crap.

Heart-Broken: Poor Satan! Oh well where's its knives a? *takes knives and stabs the shit out of Elena*

Elena: *Screams*

Tara: O.O! Really?

Sookie: Just don't piss off the fangirls.

Tara: Yeah. I can see that shit!

Sookie: Just get use to it.

Heart-Broken: *High fives Gir* Gir's pimp aha!

Gir: Dooby! Doo!

Heart-Broken: *Laughs and starts dances*

Damon: I'll be back.

Stefan: To?

Damon: Get Chi a pet.

Heart-Broken: What you do to her this time?

Damon: Why do I have to do everything?

Heart-Broken: Because you're like that.

Stefan: …True.

Damon: *Twitch* Stay out of it Stefan.

Stefan: *Walks away*

Heart-Broken: Please go find her!

Damon: *Growls*

PUT ME DOWN STEFAN!

Stefan: …

I was on vaca!

Damon: *Twitch* Like I want to see that Ash bitch again.

I wasn't getting Ash. We need a guy host and I'm letting Soul do it!

Damon: Soul huh?

*Stick tongue out* Stupid! BLEECH!

Damon: You're acting like a kid.

Pfft.

Heart-Broken: …Okay? Charity, Aha nice STRANGER DANGER that's classic!

It was the first words that popped in my head.

Heart-Broken: I agree Damon is a man whore.

That's so true.

Damon: Like you have a right to say anything!

I'm a virgin.

Damon: *Laughs* Really? Because I thought virgin can't do half the things you do.

Stefan: *Shakes head*

*Twitch* That's my business!

Heart-Broken: Sam and Castiel now that was hot don't you think?

It was so awesome!

Sam: Never happening again!

Unless I have some more of that stuff.

Castiel: What?

Nothing!

Heart-Broken: *Twitch* Keep rogue away from me. I really don't feel like being raped maybe tomorrow but not today.

Rogue: You'll always be my little rape buddy. *Blow kiss*

Heart-Broken: STAY AWAY FROM ME DAMN IT!

Rogue: *Chuckles* Just wait for FGW.

Heart-Broken: …

*Shakes head*

Heart-Broken: That's was a really long chapter

I know. It seems like this for a while now.

Heart-Broken: So I'm guessing you enjoyed the backroom? *smirks and brings to backroom* Time for Round two!

*Smiles*

Damon: No.

Heart-Broken: Eric.

Eric: *Walks up behind Damon and grabs him*

Damon: …*Screams*

Heart-Broken: Let's go! *Grabs and drags me*

Damon: GET THE FUCK OFF ME ERIC!

Eric: But I like it back here.

Stefan: *Grabs on of Dean's guns and shots him with it*

Hour later.

Heart-Broken: Bob your not scary your less scary now that your rabbit. Did you rape Satan when it was Alive?

Bob: I would never rape a baby. You, yes but never a kid.

Heart-Broken: Fucking pervert. *Turns to Edward* Edward hahaha Bella is a lesbian. You know it's your fault right? You wouldn't fuck her. SOOOO IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT! Bella is a lesbian because you wouldn't fuck her! Now cry about that too pixie!

Edward: YOU EVIL BASTARD!

Heart-Broken: MUHAHAHAHA!

Edward: Chock on something!

Heart-Broken: Go jump off a cliff like you girlfriend did.

Edward: *Cries*

Heart-Broken: *Rolls eyes* Elena Awww you think Im the evilest that's not a way too get on my good side except I appreciate the compliment. *Sets Elena on fire with my eyes* Oooh I know a good Kodak moment. *shoves bob up Elenas ass* Haa, haa *takes picture* I'm making copies who wants one?

O.O!

Tara: Really?

Yeah.

Tara: I'll take one. I need to show Lafayette this shit here.

Heart-Broken: Rogue you do not own my ass and I know you didn't rape me I would have remembered that!

Rogue: *Evil smirk* I will be happy to remind you everyday.

Heart-Broken: … Tara! Awesome they brought you in! You are like the best character here...maybe even better then Seth I don't know...

Tara: Thanks but there's a whole bunch of crazy shit here.

*nods* So true.

Tara: You're the ring leader of this fuck fest!

Damon: So true.

Shut up.

Heart-Broken: I forgot about Damon was protecting Stefan I can fix that. *cripples both Damon and Seth to the ground were they can't move and moves them to the back room by simply staring at them* Eric, Lestat have fun! They can stay crippled until your done if you want!

Lestat: …YES! Hi Seth ready to have fun?

Eric: *Smirk* New meat.

Stefan: For a second I thought she was going to say me.

Alice: Go save Damon.

Stefan: *Runs to the backroom*

Heart-Broken: *repeated pokes Zero* Sorry I'm bored.

Zero: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: Katherine, You said Alice. *sighs a little* Okay! Sorry Alice! *attacks Alice*

Alice: *Dodges and laughs*

Yeah that's a lost battle. She can see the future.

Heart-Broken: Like I give a damn! STOP MOVING AROUND!

Alice: You're so cute when you're mad.

Heart-Broken: *Twitch* STAND STILL!

Alice: *Laughs*

Stefan: *Breathing hard as he carries Damon on his back* Damn.

Damon: That bastard was that close to getting me!

Where's Seth Stefan?

Stefan: Fuck.

Damon: Getting turned out by vampires.

Heart-Broken: ….GO SAVE HIM!

Stefan: Pfft. Once was enough.

Heart-Broken: Stefan, It's your turn too be killed. *attacks Stefan in worst ways then I do Damon*

Damon: *Falls off Stefan's back* OW!

Tara & Sookie & Me: Wow.

Vampirewithasecret: Hmm…*Points at Heart-Broken and Stefan*

Tara: Don't worry about it.

Vampire: Katherine I'm not scared of you!

Katherine: BITCH! *kicks her*

Vampire: OW! MY LEG!

Katherine: HAHAHA!

*Pulls out stake* BITCH! *Stabs Katherine with it*

Katherine: Ow!

HAHAHAHA DIE BITCH!

Katherine: *Snatches the stake and throws it to the ground* Stab the wrong place.

Vampire: *Throws a bucket of vervain on her* I'm batman bitch! *Then skips away*

Hiei: *Raises eyebrow*…Batman

Bonnie: Bitch?

*Laughs* That's new.

Bonnie: But funny.

xXspoiiledheartXx: Katherine- Back off of Chi yu dont want to get on my bad side and if yu even try to kill Chi i will make yur life HELL

Katherine: What are you going to do? If there was a poll your little chi a pet would be in last place right after the dust bunnies.

…

Bonnie: So who's Soul?

Tara: Ya'll fuck buddies are something?

*Nervous laugh* It's nothing. I'm just letting a friend host FGW for me.

Spoiiled: Edward- Thats y bella left yu

Edward: *Sighs* Yeah. I'm single now.

Elena: We should bring Bella on.

Katherine: So I can chock her and her clone.

WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL ME!

Katherine: You know why.

Spoiiled: Damon- What list (smiles evily)

Damon: The dress and fuck list.

Spoiiled: Really?

Damon: Cat eared girl. *Smirks*

Spoiiled: Stefan- Do the pills really work.

Stefan: No…not really.

Jack: Hello and welcome to the show! Let's…

Hmm Jack….it's already started.

Jack: Oh. Where's Gir?

*Points to Gir*

Gir: *On the other side of the room dancing disco with fan girls*

…Nice.

Rogue: LOL - When FGW2 hits us - you had better hide in that hole zero is sitting in cause your ass aint safe from me heart broken - I OWN it, and that thing you do with your tongue is epic...

Heart-Broken: Stay away from me before I blast you somewhere!

Rogue: You so hot when you mad.

Heart-Broken: *Eyes flicker to black*

Rogue: Dirty girl.

Heart-Broken: *Walks away*

Rogue: I just downloaded 'Vampires Suck 'so how many of you are with me - Edward Sullen is WAY hotter than Edward Cullen.

I never seen it. Is it good because I was worry because this movie can from the same guys from Meet the Spartans?

Rogue: Well Alice can have a go at Kat but I REALLY want to See Elena, Bonnie and Kat go at it. I have a feeling Kat would win over Ally hmmm you know if Kat and Ally ever fucked we could call them AllyKat :D

Alice & Katherine: …No.

Rogue: Once?

Alice & Katherine: No.

Rogue: Damon, Stefan and Eric I dare the 3 of you to serenade Bonnie, Pam and Sookie singing Bryan Adams if your love a woman. (I think Damon would be so hot with a guitar singing to Bonnie)

Damon: No.

It's a…

Damon: No.

Rogue: …Don't make me force you.

Stefan: I'm serenading Pam?

Pam: *Blows a kiss towards Stefan*

Damon: No!

Rogue: *Growls*

Just sing the song.

Damon: Fine if I sing this stupid song then you have to sing something for me.

…What?

Damon: *Smirk* They'll find out soon.

Rogue: I'm waiting….

Stefan: Let's get this over with.

Damon: *Grabs a guitar*

Eric: *Sighs*

*Music Starts*

Stefan: *Looks at Pam*

To really love a woman  
To understand her - you gotta know her deep inside  
Hear every thought - see every dream  
N' give her wings - when she wants to fly  
Then when you find yourself lyin' helpless in her arms  
Ya know ya really love a woman.

Eric: *Stares at Sookie*

When you love a woman you tell her  
that she's really wanted  
When you love a woman you tell her that she's the one  
Cuz she needs somebody to tell her  
that it's gonna last forever  
So tell me have you ever really  
- really really ever loved a woman?

Damon: *Looks at Bonnie*

To really love a woman  
Let her hold you -  
til ya know how she needs to be touched  
You've gotta breathe her - really taste her  
Til you can feel her in your blood  
N' when you can see your unborn children in her eyes  
Ya know ya really love a woman

Katherine: *Snatches Damon's guitar* Fuck this! *Smashes it.

Elena: …Are there no Damon/Elena fans here or something?

*Shrugs* I'm just happy they found someone else to torture.

Rogue: *Laughs* Eric - I wanna see you dismantle Gir :D

Eric: *Holds up a bat* Way ahead of you!

Gir: We like waffles!

Eric: *Grabs Gir and drags him to the backroom*

Oh Seth I didn't notice you.

Seth: *Scratch marks everywhere*

Dean; Get turned out yet?

Seth: I fought.

Damon: Smart guy.

Seth: I will never help you two!

Stefan: I said I forgot.

Seth: I was right there! So fuck you two! *Flicks them off*

Rogue: Wow.

Sookie: Poor guy.

Rogue: Hmmmm Heart Broken ripped Damon's balls off with her teeth... something tells me you're into rough violent sex - you just wanted to taste his testes didn't you - you dirty, dirty, DIRTY girl come to Rogue *Rogue pulls out a whip for Heart Broken*

Heart-Broken: …No. You crazy…whatever you are stay away from me or you'll know the extend of my power.

Rogue: I thought I did…and I took it.

Heart-Broken: Go try to rape someone else!

Rogue: You're my favorite right now.

Tara: Drama, huh?

Rogue: Damon - I'll have heart Broken chained up in the back room for you after the show - we can have some fun with her then me and Pam get our time - Awww heck Pam come me, you and Damon will go to the back room ... NOW *Rogue drags heart broken whose chained to a cross so her demon powers are useless*

….Poor Heart-Broken.

Heart-Broken: I DON'T WANT PITY! SAVE ME!

Rogue: Heart Broken stop picking on Damon and Stefan or you want Rogue to show you what happens to bad ... dirty little girls again... *Winks*

Heart-Broken: *not happy face*

Rogue: Wait hold up - the most evil person Eddie knows is Jane and he fucked her - Edward Jane is WAAAAYYYY too cool for you - you screw her in your dreams? Moron *Rogue stabs Edwards eye out*

Edward: *Screams and holds his eye holes* IT'S TRUE!

Rogue: Riiight. *Rolls her eyes*

Edward: Y-you can ask Jane herself.

Rogue: *Turn towards me* Bring her on here.

Okay.

Rogue: Oh Charity... I will Always rape heart Broken - its her... or YOU :D though I think you'd like it tooo much.

*Smirks* True.

Rogue: I guess we can all breathe easy JK Rowling is Done with Harry Potter so no one else is going to die. Damon if Smith kills you she'll kill Stefan too - I guess VD isn't about some great fucking love triangle is more or less about Damon and Stefan finding each other again. Sorry Beatrix - the thing about Dragonball was another hoax (I could kill that kid) anyway they are doing a kai series which is just a remake of all 300 episodes with better graphics ... and well... they have some DBZ porn series... Vegeta is AWESOME Akira Toriyama used Vegeta's character in some other manga's he did.

*Laughs*

Rogue: Sure Beatrix - you can join me in the backroom anytime *Rogue grabs Beatrix and heads to backroom with Pam*

Sookie: Beware of this one.

Tara: She doesn't seem that bad.

Sookie: I'm warning you. She let's to drag people in the backroom.

Tara: Speaking of backroom what the fuck is that?

Sookie: The sex room or torture room. Either one.

Tara: …Okay?

Rogue: Ha Rogues corner - that sounds legendary... how about Rogue's Dungeon... or Rogue's punishment paradise...

Sounds pretty cool.

Stefan: I like it.

Rogue: Damon - you're right I should dress Chi - come hither little Chi a pet - you too Damon!

What!

Damon: Bout damn time.

*Rogue and Damon disappear in back room with a screaming Chi*

SAVE ME!

Seth: …

30 minutes later.

Rogue: *Rogue presents Chi who is essentially naked but wearing chocolate body paint like a bikini*

*Tears up* I hate you!

Rogue: Damon LOVES it.

Damon: *Chuckles*

RUN BONNIE RUN!

Bonnie: Huh?

Damon: She should dress you up too.

Bonnie: No.

Damon: Yeah, it would be fun.

Rogue: Bonnie - Don't lie! I even saw the spell you were writing to make Elena look at no one but you...

Bonnie: ….THAT'S A LIE.

Random Bonnie fan: *Grabs me by the hair and hold a knife to my neck*

O.O!

Random Bonnie Fan: Try to turn her gay and this will be the last fic you're ever do.

I was aiming for Bi!

Random Bonnie Fan: I'm watching you. *Disappears in smoke*

Rogue: What the fuck just happened?

Threats…again.

Rogue: …Okay. Jacob... if you ever and I mean EVER get freaky with Louis or any other guy here I will cut off your dick and feed it to Edward - are we clear? Team Jacob is not very happy with your behavior - there are fan girls trying to break that door down and drop your ass in acid - Be-FUCKING-Have

Jacob: I like girls too!

Rogue: BEHAVE!

Jacob: I can't promise that.

Edward: What did I do?

Rogue: I'll deal with you later.

Jacob: *Twitch*

Rogue: Chi Of course I care - that's why I put you in these delicious little situations with Damon all the time chi... it's out off love - see even Damon says I should love you more often.

…

Damon: Sure, why not.

Rogue: *Smirk* So Damon ... you find Daddy D and Charity why is there a burnt pink vibrator in your drawer - did Damon dismantle Daddy D?

Damon: *Evil smirk* Over usage.

…I was so sore.

Rogue: Oh Bon Bon - That lemmon is so getting done - now if you don't go make Damon happy I'm putting you in a Salvatore sandwich... your decision...

Damon: I hope you're not leaving it like that. Me Like.

Bonnie: …No.

Rogue: Oh Come On!

Bonnie: No. I don't like Damon.

Rogue: *Twitch* I will force you!

Bonnie: *Smiles* Nope.

Katherine: I think your doing that on purpose.

Bonnie: Huh?

Katherine: So she can write fics about you.

Bonnie: …You read too much into things.

Katherine: I don't trust you.

Bonnie: Rogue why don't you write a me/Stefan/Elena fic.

Rogue: …I KNEW IT!

Bonnie: What!

Tara: Is everyone gay on this show?

Elena: Who knows.

Rogue: Satan if you're still alive I have something to tell you... Satan I am your father... your mommy is my bitch - you attack Damon or Stef again and I'll make you my bitch tooo Kapich?

Satan: *Cocks head to the side* Da, Da?"

Heart-Broken: No, Psycho.

Rogue: How?

Heart-Broken: Like I'm telling you.

Rogue: *Blows a kiss towards Heart-Broken*

Heart-Broken: Ew.

Rogue: So Lestat likes it rough - come here Lestat *rogue cuts off Louis Head and dick on with a chainsaw and places his penis in his mouth like a cigar*

Lestat: You're so cruel. I like that.

Rogue: Edward seriously the your mom hits are weak... like you*Rogue shoves Edward in a canon and blasts him too the moon* god that dude annoys me.

Sam: *Laughs*

Rogue: Bob - you're a little rabbit now so you can't sneak into peoples food and now I can do this... *Rogue put's bob in a cage and shoves him in canon and blasts him to the moon as well* Now the 2 of them can go fuck each other without grossing the rest of us out.

Bonnie & Me: *Laughs* Wow.

Rogue: Al right, Damon, Eric, Stefan, Pam, Kat ready for our mission - I have the flame throwers right here - remember destroy ANYTHING that has the words Twilight on it - Eric you get to glamour Meyer... or you can just eat her...

Eric: I might glow if I eat her.

Rogue: Gosh Pam... our threesomes are becoming more like orgies... Alice damn that thing you do with your tongue and the way you howled when Wolverine scratched your back with his claws... Seth had an orgasm just watching the 4 of us -Bonnie you're a let down for not coming. *Rogue makes out with Pam then Rogue and Pam make out with Chi*

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: Hey Burntcinnamon I'll wear one of those cheerleader outfits - So Damon which letter do I get to be?

Damon: N. Let's see how flexible you are.

Rogue: Sam - Cas you guys bore me the only good thing about Supernatural is Dean *Rogue chases Sam and Cas with her shiny new chainsaw*

Sam & Cas: Leave me alone.

Wolverine: That's even worse than the shotgun...

Rogue: Tara welcome to insanity Island - well at least Sookie has company now

Tara: Yeah. I can tell.

Rogue: So whose coming to the Rogue-Pam fuckfest?

Bonnie: I'll go.

Elena: *Shrugs* I have been laid in a while.

Rogue: Seth - Jacob sorry you can't participate - you are still kids.

Seth & Jacob: Damn.

Rogue: Louis and Lestat - you don't have to cool to come with us.

Lestat & Louis: Let's go!

Rogue: *Rogue kisses Charity and Damon then leaves for the back room with Pam*

*Blows out smoke*

Tara: O.O.

I was melting.

BeatrixMayfeir: Hey!

Hello!

Beatrix: My god Hiei*jumps on him and makes out with him*!

Hiei: …

Beatrix: Chi you're awesome*kisses you*!

*Smiles*

Beatrix: And bring Sesshomaru too, he's so cool! Or you can make an Inuyasha ep!

That will be fun to make.

Beatrix: And Rogue *hugs Rogue* of course I'll help you torturing Edweirdo! Infact I created some new potions exclusively for bring pain and I haven't tested them yet*evil smile*! But Elena first! I want to hear her screaming until she tell me what she did with Damon in that damn hotel! It wasn't sex because she's still a virgin so what the hell was? I'll help to keep Stefan and Damon safe too.

Elena: *Takes a step back then runs away*

Beatrix: GET BACK HERE!

Tara: Fast one huh?

I guess.

Beatrix: Aw Cas you're so kawaii with that outfit but I prefer you naked*drags him in the backroom*! Bye Chi*waves from the door* we'll be busy for a long time

O.O…okay.

BereniceAndrea: Ok Rogue, you're messing with Katherine? .. I will chase you down, chock with your pillow while you sleep, cut your throat, let you bleed, drink your blood, spit it in your face, burn your hair, stab you in the heart, shoot you in the leg and burn your dead body while laughing, GOT IT? You don't wanna mess with me! Or with Kat *looks at Katherine and blushes* I wanna be like you when I grow up!

Rogue: I can rape you too if you want.

Berenice: … Oh, and same statement for whoever is messing with Elena! Gilbert I got your back ;)

Elena: Thank you! Bout damn time!

Berenice: Stefaaan I love you! here's a bunny for you *hands him a bunny* BACK ROOM. NOW... Damon please join.

Damon: No. By myself yeah. With him no.

Berenice: You're no fun.

Damon: I don't want to go near him like that.

Berenice: If you can do that for Chi you can do that for me!

Damon: It was a dark time…stop reminding me!

Berenice: Edward burn in hell! *stakes you and burns you while crying like a fairy*

Edward: I HATE YOU!

Berenice: I know. *Evil laugh*

Edward: *Cries*

Berenice: Hey Chi, you're awesome... AS LONG AS YOU DON'T MESS WITH KAT! *smiles sweetly* ok?

She tried to kill me!

Berenice: It's out of love.

…I don't want her love.

: Omg that was epic! I'm team Elena cause I love how she's *healing* Damon's heart unlike Kathy here, but I like Katherine because she is evil!

Elena: I do have fans on here!

Beatrix: *Tackles Elena and forces her mouth open* Drink it. *Forces it down her throat*

: Goooooo Damon! Jumps in the air

Damon: I love cheerleaders.

: Oh and Stefan, how could you let Katherine kill Cookie, the rabbit! *cries*

Stefan: She is evil.

Katherine: What did you expect.

MinaFTW: Goes over and hugs Chi, YOU ARE THE BEST!

Thanks.

Mina: I am so happy you bought Hiei! My favorite character off the Yu Yu Hakusho, next to Kurama, they were tied! But seriously thank you so so much! That is like my entire childhood right there, like it was one of the first anime's I loved. Aww that brings back so many memories of my childhood, back when cartoon network wasn't stupid and had Toonami! sigh* I miss the 90s.

I miss it too. I haven't seen Yu Yu Hakusho in years. I remember when they use to play it like one or two o'clock in the mornings too and I try to wake up to watch it.

Hiei: They need to bring my show back or die.

I'll help you with that one.

Mina: And since you are super awesome I will give you a super awesome gift basket, *hands you gift basket*

Yay!

Mina: And in honor of Chi, I will not try to kill Elena.

Elena: *Jumps up* Yess!

Mina: I said try, I'm not promising anything.

Elena: Well I'm happy with this

Mina And I forgive you Katherine for being a bitch to the Salvatores, you're okay, hands Katherine blood slushies, enjoy!

Elena: What about me

Mina: Nope still hate you, but hey at least I won't kill you. You should be happy that I didn't give you a poison slushie.

Mina: So Bonnie I heard you had a fun time with Damon yesterday

Bonnie: You put a love spell on me you crazy...

Mina: That wasn't a love spell it was a truth spell

Everyone: 0_0

Damon: So you do like me?

Bonnie: No I just think you're hot, there is a difference

Damon: Good enough for me

Bonnie: Dog, rolls eyes*

Mina: Hey how are you big brother? Hugs Stefan* here you go, hands him a mountain lion*

Stefan: Thanks.

Mina: Well I feel like I should say this again, Go Team Dean* Yeah, I'm on his team cause he's hot and knows how to use a gun pretty well. *Goes over to Dean and makes out with him*

Dean: I need cheerleaders too!

Vie: Wow Chi, congrats on 808 reviews! We need to celebrate with a huge blow out party when you hit 1000.

Thanks. It's all thanks to you guys!

Vie: Love the "Stranger Danger", that shit was hilarious and CLASSIC. Oops, I don't curse, you guys are influencing me. :P

Lol.

Vie: Rogue, thanks for agreeing with me, Damon/Bonnie sex would be CELESTIAL and yep babies from these two would be too cute. Hell, babies with Bonnie and Stefan would be cute. Bonnie, I see how you and Stefan give each other the eye...poor Elena...tsk, tsk, tsk.

Damon: Wanna try Bonnie?

Bonnie: No.

Damon: You want too. *Blows a kiss*

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes*

Vie: Rogue, me thinks you should make that one-shot with Damon and Bonnie...wait, did Mina just sold Bonnie her own poison? GREATNESS (This is going to be one hell of a friendship, Rogue, I knew I liked both you and Mina). Somebody is going to be preggers soon and I'm not calling any names (coughing Bonnie's name); it always starts with those one night stands. "Bone Chicka Bone Bone!" (my sick make out music that they have on pornos)

Bonnie: Don't curse me!

Vie: Question for Bonnie and Damon: What did you REALLY do in the back room and why does Bonnie look all flushed and exhausted; Chi can you relate to that look on Bonnie's face? (naughty naughty people)

Bonnie: A lot of things.

Damon: Involving hand cuffs.

…*Blushes* Yes.

Vie: *Laughs*

….

Vie: Oh and Chi, I'm no longer angry at you, Tara has made it...wahoo! I am a HUGE fan of Tara ((Vie waves to Tara and hugs her). Hey Tara, I would love for you to be in a threesome with Jason and Sam. I want you to want Eric but I know that won't happen with you being traumatized by Vampires and all, sorry about that anyway.. :( On a good note, you should totally meet Stefan, yes he's a vampire but he is soooooooo SENSITIVE and you need that. PS: Tell Lafayette I love him and I don't care if he loves himself some men, I can get over that! ((((blushing)))))

Tara: Thanks but I think Lafayette will but too busy with Jesus. *Laughs*

Vie: Sam and Dean, you make my heart sing, you make everything GROOVY (blows kisses at both of them). Oh and Dean, do you ever think about your first love, Cassie?

Dean: Yeah. Sometimes.

Vie: question for everyone: If you could cast a spell on anyone of the people here, what would it be and why (let it be good and not about SEX...Eric, Lestat, Pam, and Damon; let's keep it clean guys)?

To keep Katherine from trying to kill me!

Katherine: To make that roach disappear from in front of me.

Damon: For all women of the world to dress up in skimpy clothes. Even the ugly girl because your pretty to me.

Vie: *Slaps forehead* Damon…

Damon: It's clean…somewhat.

Lestat: To have Stefan all to myself. *Glares at Elena*

Elena: To get rid of pest!

Beatrix: Why isn't it working?

Elena: *falls to the ground and stars screaming*

Beatrix: There we go.

Bonnie: To get rid of Damon!

Damon: *Lifts his shirt* You know you want this.

Bonnie: *Blushes* No!

Eric: Turn Damon human.

Damon: Stay away from me!

Seth: To get what happened earlier out of my head. *Shivers*

Hiei: To get my show back.

Pam: Naked woman.

Vie: What?

Pam: nuff said.

Vie: But…

Pam: Nuff said.

Stefan: Keep Katherine from killing bunnies.

Sam: To be with Dean…only!

Castiel: To kill Sam.

Dean: For peace between these two.

Tara & Sookie: For no crazy things happening.

Soul: For Chi to only have eyes for me.

Damon: …The fuck are you?

Soul: The host of fan girl wars.

Damon: Thought she was kidding.

Soul: *Hugs me from behind* Hi my chocolate drop!

Leave me alone!

Damon: Yeah.

Soul: I'm just having fun.

Damon: Are you challenging me?

Soul: Maybe?

Vie: Not done with the questions here.

Soul: Go ahead.

Vie: And where is my dirty but sexy Captain Jack Sparrow...hmmm. There you are, how's it going and where is Calypso; did you guys have a thang for each other? **narrowing my eyes at him**

Jack: It was very, very small. Hot but small like Jacob's penis.

Jacob: What!

Jack: I just had to put it out there!

Vie: PSS: Katherine, and I don't say this very often but you are the shit girl! It's not an everyday thing to have two Fine Ass Men wanting and fighting over you, how do you do it? Yeah yea yeah, Elena is about to have that but it's not the same... no offense Elena but you're not a spunky little thing and has anyone told you that you look like that Maria chick on Degrassi?

Elena: Stop trolling!

Vie: I'm just stating facts.

Katherine: I just have power. *smiles*

Evil, demonic…

Katherine: *Elbows me in the stomach and smiles*

*Falls to the floor*

LeLelurvsGlee: im not sure why it didn't show my name but oh well...you should fight Katherine chi. we fangirls have your back.

I don't think all fangirls have my back.

Katherine: We should just fight now.

*Takes a step back* I'll blow a rape whistle on your ass!

Katherine: What's it going to do?

I'll call Captain Planet!

Captain Planet: I care for the plant not you.

Awww. *Frowny face*

LeLe: Stefan how do you like your bunnies?

Stefan: The one's that are alive I love but the dead one…Katherine drank dry.

Katherine: I was being nice to leave a few.

LeLe: Damonnnn i have a dare for you. No letting fangirls take your to the back room and no drinking fangirl blood for a whole entire week, got it? Oh and you have to be chi's bitch too! Chi how would you like Damon in a French maid suit. *evil smirk*

I like that!

Damon: I hate you LeLe.

LeLe: Don't care.

Damon: For a week. Fine.

LeLe: Lestat touch Stefan and i swear i will unleash my unimaginable powers on you. *uses powers to make Lestat no longer love Stefan but, love bob instead*

Lestat: His butt is soft.

LeLe: LOVE BOB!

Lestat: Nothing in this world would make me love Bob.

LeLe: Bob die! No one likes you and if you dare say my mom does i will beat you into a pool of tofu. And guess what else. I'll tell your mommy!

Bob: Bring it!

LeLe: *Kicks him* Weak ass bunny. Bonnie can we beat up Edward?

Bonnie: Sure.

LeLe: Edward, Edward, Edward. I suggest you should you use your fairy powers to fly away before you get what's coming to ya*beats him with metal bat*

Edward: OW!

LeLe: and chi if you don't know what sage is like here's some tips. He's kinda cocky and a little like Eric in some ways. Minus wanting to rape Damon.

Lol.

LeLe: So jack i gotta question? Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement? There will be booze. And guess what. I remodeled the backroom for you.*whispers in his ear* everything's made out of booze!

Jack: You're my number one love! Chi your slipping.

Soul don't touch me there!

Soul: I want to taste you.

Damon: …You're dead!

Stefan: *Trys to hold him back*

LeLe: Don't worry guys the chins and whips will be back as soon as he's done drinking which shouldn't take long.

True.

FutureActressKS: to Gir: Let's dance! But I want a waffle first! I love you *hugs Gir* Sing the doom song!

Gir: Doom, Doom, Doomy, Doom!

Eric: Thought I killed it.

FutureActress: Rogue I would happily help you guys torture, Edward.

Edward: Why!

FutureActress: Elena I like you *hugs* Katherine's a bitch!

Elena: Someone finally sees the light!

Katherine: Sleep with one eye open.

FutureActress: Burntcinnamon D-A-M-O-N *clad in leather cheerleader outfit* Doesn't get any better than this

Damon: You should jump again.

Alice: Pervert.

FutureActress: I still hate you Edward! *Stabs him in both eyes with a stake*

Edward: DAMN IT!

FutureActress: Gir let's party!

Gir: Yeah!

*Dancing Machine plays*

Gir: *Does pelvic thrusts*

FutureActress: Damon: I don't see how anyone could hate you (like Bonnie does), you are way too damn sexy! I saw the TVD Season 2 trailer, and I swear, you get hotter every time! *melts*

Damon: Thanks.

Bonnie: I don't really see it.

Damon: Liar.

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes*

BroadwayAngelLyric: Hi, Tara, you're one of my favorite characters on True Blood along with Eric, Sookie, Pam, Jessica, and Jason.

Tara: Thanks guys but how can ya'll deal with all the vamps here?

Broadway: We get do. We fuck some, we kill some *Stares at Stefan*

Stefan: *Twitch*

Broadway: Damon, I am releasing you from any dare LeLe put you to. We're blood-related so I got that power, tee hee btw has anyone seen the new Vampire Diaries trailer? It is awesome.

LeLe: No you can't!

Broadway: SHUT UP!

LeLe: GO TO HELL!

Broadway: *Tackles LeLe*

…They are just like my and Ty.

Hour later

Really…an hour.

Broadway: …Let's just get back to this.

Okay.

Broadway: Stefan, do you think if you chose Katherine that she would even take your broody ass back? No offense but it seems like she's the one with the dick in your relationship.

Stefan: She came back for me didn't she?

Broadway: It was a fluke. Besides she was all over Damon not you.

Stefan: Rub it in why don't you.

Broadway: If anyone revived Satan, I'm killing that bastard again, and I'll kill any other baby that is given to Damon. I have acquired powers of my own. I'm now a wizard minus the wand because that's so Disney. So in Jack's honor, I use a magic beer bottle.

Jack: A woman after me own heart!

Broadway: Eric, I hope you and Sookie get together on the show, I hate Bill. Russell is crazy for what he did the week before last.

Eric: I know we are.

Broadway & Me: Huh?

Eric: The show is based loosely from the book.

Yeah it is but they can pull something and change it in a whole new direction. Like in the twilight books Bella choose Edward, what if in the movie she chose Jacob. Like that's ever going to happen.

Eric: Pop my bubble why don't you.

….

Broadway: Chi, can we bring Bill and Jessica on the show? I want to hurt Bill.*smiles devilishly* Also, can you go inside our Fangirls Anonymous meetings one episode, that would be awesome!

Damon: Great another Stefan.

Stefan: Shut up.

Broadway: Jack, me, you, backroom, booze, now.

Jack: Yes! *Grabs Broadway and drags her to the backroom*

That's a first.

Two hours later.

Broadway: Zero, me, you, guns, Eddie Boy's head, now.

Zero: *Throws and gun at Broadway*

Broadway: *Catches it and shoots it at Edward*

Edward: *Falls*

Broadway: Cool. Sam, it's not that I don't like you, I just like Castiel more and I think Dean should too.

Sam: *Twitch*

Broadway: Edward, I want a match with you and don't turn the lights too bright because if this douche sparkles, I will cremate his ass. That was pleasant, bye guys!

Lol. Sure.

Sam: Well this show is done! We will like to thank Breakfastclus85, anneryn7, TwilightRocks, Heart-Broken….

Dean: Vampirewithasecret, xXspoiiledheartXx, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, ...

Hiei: BereniceAndrea, MinaFTW, Vie, LeLelurvsGlee, FutureActressKS, and BroadwayAngelLyric for reviews and questions.

Soul: Please go check out Rogue's Bamon Lovin if you haven't already and Heart-Broken's Imprinting story.

Peace, love, and chocolate. Please take care of Soul while I'm on a little vacation.

Soul: Hey Chi! Let's go try out the backroom!

Damon: ..

Soul: Come on. I just want to have fun!

Damon: Without her.

Soul: You want to take her place?

Damon: …Just stay away from her.

Bye!

Soul: I'm kidding Damon. I'm really a Stefan kind of guy.

Lestat: He's mine.

Soul: *Blows a kiss towards Stefan*

Stefan: Another one?

Tara: This show is fucked up.

Bonnie: So true.


	58. Soul and FGW!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Fan Girl Wars 2!

Yo! I'm Soul and I'm your host today.

Alice: I want Chi!

Oh calm down and let me have my fun and my first thing as host is for all the girls…and Stefan to take off their clothes.

Katherine: *Throws a book at me* I'll make you my bitch.

Ow! I like it rough.

Damon: When is she coming back? You suck as much as Ash.

Shut up Damon. It's about time you had a host who didn't take shit. Charity is too nice.

Stefan: Yeah, that's what I liked about her.

Damon: …

Stefan: Come off it Damon. You weren't the only one eyeing those costumes beside Alice.

*Evil laughs* So let's see what fights come up first then during each break or if the fight is boring well be answering you questions.

Jack: Who the hell are you?

I'm Soul.

Jack: Eater?

…No.

Jack: Okay? I need booze.

Yeaaah okay. Well here we go! I know you know what the big screen is. Well see which name pop up and if you don't like it then I'll change it. *Smirk*

Bonnie: Let's do this! *Presses a button*

The big screen lights up and displays name.

I'm so happy!

*Names displayed are Louis vs. Zero*

Louis: Zero just give it up already.

Zero: *Twitch* I'm in no way shape and form gay or bi and I will not fall for your shit so back off.

That's the longest I heard him talk.

Sam: Yeah and I thought I had small lines.

Seth: Understatement.

Louis: *Walks to the ring*

Zero: *Walks to the ring*

*Wearing announcer gear and a mic in hand* Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to Fan girl wars 2! I'm your host Soul and I hope you enjoy me…

Damon: Booo!

*Twitch* Shut up Damon. The first to fight is Louis and Zero! You ready guys?

Zero: Yeah…whatever.

Louis: Nods.

Go!

Louis: *Runs towards Zero and swings*

Zero: *Shoots him and watch him fly out the ring*

Everyone: ….THE FUCK!

Zero: *Walks out the ring and whistles*

*Slaps forehead*

Damon: I wanted blood and gore!

Zero: I want Damon next.

Damon: Your not ready for this kid.

Zero: I doubt that.

Pause.

Damon: No! No! Say that pause shit again and I will…

Pause.

Damon: *Chases after me*

*Runs away* PAAAAAUUUSSE!

Damon: Your dead!

LeLelurvsGlee: New guy huh?

Bonnie: Don't worry about him.

LeLe: Okay… Damon don't think for a second that you're actually released from my dare because of what lyric said.

Damon: Says you!

LeLe: Come over here and I got a bucket of vervain waiting for you.

Damon: …I'm watching you.

LeLe: *Smiles* Stefan how about i get you a replacement bunny because of the one Katherine killed?

Stefan: Thank you.

LeLe: Who wants to help me torture Katherine? I have extra stakes.

I will.

Katherine: I dare you to try it!

…

LeLe: Bob fuck you. Lestat fuck you too.

Lestat: I know you want me. *Blows a kiss*

LeLe: …

Lestat: *Takes off shirt* I know I'm hot.

Stefan: …Ew.

LeLe: Damon won the EW sexy beast competition...he beat out wolverine and sparkly pants.

Damon: HAHA!

LeLe: Zero i hasn't paid you any attention so let's go shoot things up :)

Zero: Awesome!

LeLe: Jack you thought everything in the backroom being made out of booze was great. Well i made you ship outta booze.

….Where's Jack?

LeLe: Looks like he found the boat.

Jack: *Cries* The angels grant me a boat and booze!

*Laughs*

TwilightRocks: Chi: hi! I'm so bored! Please write another chapter soon! ...Your not Chi

Hi, I'm Soul and think of me as her guy half.

Damon: Pfft!

TwilightRocks: Damon so am I on any of you lists? Which ones?

Damon: Depends.

Twilight: On what?

Damon: If you like dressing up.

*Gag*

Damon: …I'll kill you.

Dumb ass.

TwilightRocks:*wings pop out starts turning into an angel* HAHAHA! I have awesome mythical powers that can not be stopped. Eric * turns Damon human* here he's like this until you or chi changes it.

Eric: Well this will be fun.

Damon: O.O I thought you liked me! He's not going to change me and Chi's gone.

Sucks for you.

Damon: *Kicks me in the chest*

*Falls back* OW!

Damon: Talking all the shit and now look you got kicked in your chest!

*Rolls around* You…suck…

Damon: I can't now.

Eric: Won't this fight be fun.

Damon: …

Twilight: All hi every one! I have a question for you. What's everyone's favorite animal and why?

Mine's a penguin. They wear little suits!

Damon: Tiger! Nuff said.

Twilight: That's not a why.

Damon: To me it is.

Stefan: Mine's is…

Heart-Broken: What, a bunny?

Stefan: I going to say Bear but thanks a lot for ruining it.

Eric: Don't have one.

Pam: Cougar, they know how to get their man.

Lestat: You.

Twilight: Haha…*Hits him with a bat* Bastard.

Dean: Swordfish…

Really?

Dean: They're cool.

Damon: Unlike thing.

Twilight: What about you guys?

Zero: Louis is knocked out. I say panda bear there cute but could kill you.

Twilight: Edward your stuff doesn't matter!

Edward: Oh.

Twilight: Bob: hi! I still think you're awesome and can u do me a favor? *Whispers in his ear* * Edward is being chocked by bob*

…Scary.

Elena: That's how some fangirls are?

Twilight: Chi: I have a Story idea that I think u should write. Summary: what if Damon had a diary and Stefan found it? What if Damon had a secret he's been hiding for years in it? (Has to be a serious secret not like Damon secretly loving bunnies or something equally ridiculous)

*Ring*

…Oh.

Damon: Your fucking kidding me, just bring her here…now…

*Answers the phone* Yeah…Crap…

Alice: *Laughs* Souls getting an earful.

You sure…okay! *Smiles*

Alice: We miss you! And Damon's crying over you!

Damon: The fuck I'm not. COME BACK NOW!

*Rolls eyes* Sam, Castiel Chi wants to do a special on you two.

Sam: What kind?

You'll find out next chapter.

Twilight: Dean out of you and Damon I would have to chose you. Damon: Im so sorry but I like dean just a pinch better trust me it was so close. 

Dean: *Laughs* Burn!

Damon: *Growls*

Twilight: Jacob * starts making out with him*

Jacob: *Blushes*

Twilight: Satan baby hi here's a lollipop and teddy bear.

Satan: Thank you. *Shows fangs*

What is that?

Stefan: Heart-Broken's evil but not as evil as her child. Or sister's baby. Either one. 

Twilight: Katherine which Salvatore was more emotional?

Katherine: *Coughs*Damon*Cough*

Twilight: …Ready?

Katherine: I know you wouldn't think but it's true.

Let's put up another fight. Screen on!

On screen shows…Stefan vs. Lestat?

Stefan: O.O? Really?

Lestat: Let's go honey.

Stefan: I…

No!

Stefan: What?

You can't quit!

Stefan: *Stares at Lestat for a second* Yeah I can.

Lestat: Sissy. Pussy. You deserve to be a catcher for Damon.

Stefan: …No. *Walks to the ring*

Lestat: *Smirks while walking to the ring*

Stefan fans: YAY STEFAN!

Lestat Fans: ….

Damon & Me: He has fans.

Lestat: *Blows a kiss to them*

Louis: *Rolls his eyes*

So let the fight begin!

Lestat: *Winks at Stefan* You're so cute. *Throws a punch*

Stefan: *Dodges* Ew. *Throws a kicks at his side*

Lestat: *Flips away and lands behind his fans that are in the ring* Get him my kittens. *Snap his fingers*

Lestat Fan 1: Let's get him!

LeLe: *Smirk* Bring it on! *Pulls out a sword*

…*Screams like a fan girl* That's so cool!

LeLe: Haha…don't be stalking me, okay?

I can't promise that.

Stefan: *Dodges all the Lestat fan girls' punches*

LeLe: *Clashing with a Lestat fan girl*

Women with sharp things are hot.

Anneryn: *Punches forward, knocking out ten fan girls*

Lestat: *Sneaks up behind Anneryn*

Stefan: *Jumps in front of Lestat and hooks him with an upper cut*

Damon: GO STEFAN! SHOW THAT FARIY WHO'S BOSS!

Lestat: *Kicks him in the stomach sending him flying back*

Stefan: *Lands in front Lestat girls* Fuck.

Lestat Fan Girl 1 *Let's call her Ray*: Die. *Holds up a bat*

Stefan Fan girl: *Tackles her*

Lestat: *Stands over Stefan and places his hands on his hips* You really think you can beat me? I'm older then you and once this is over I'll make you my bitch.

Stefan: *Smirks* I learned something from my big brother. Wanna see?

Lestat: What? To bend over?

Stefan: TO FAKE IT. *Kicks Lestat in the chest and send him flying back* LeLe, Anneryn!

Anneryn & LeLe: Got ya! *Jumps over Stefan and hits Lestat sending him sailing out of the ring*

O.O…THE WINNER IS STEFAN!

Alice: Saw it coming.

Seth: It felt like it came out of a cheesy anime!

*Growls*

Katherine: Well Stefan won Damon. What are you going to do if you fight him?

Damon: Kick his ass duh!

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

Rogue: Hey guys…you?

I'm Soul. S-O-U-L!

Rogue: Okay? Well *Rogue chases Katherine with slightly blood stained but still shiny chainsaw*

O.O This is the scary one. Hot but scary none the less.

Rogue: I have enough blood lust for the both of you.

Meanie.

Rogue: Yes Satan - I am your father - don't listen to heart broken - see I have pics of how we made you. *Rogue shows pics to Satan which make him explode* Guess it was too much for him... don't worry HB we'll make another one my precious BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sam: Poor Satan.

Dean: He got on my shoes!

Eric: I'm still here people.

Rogue: Hey Beatrix *Rogue makes out with Beatrix* Maybe Elena gave Damon a blow job in the hotel room who knows... But sure I'll help you - let's tie her to a giant wheel and spin her while throwing darts at her while she spins :D

Elena: O.O!

Rogue: Watch your back Elena. I haven't decide to kill you are make you a pet.

Bonnie: *Laughs*

Elena: BONNIE!

Bonnie: *Looks away*

Rogue: Oh Berenice... come here I'll rape you too! Kat gets what she gets for messing with Charity and Elena gets what she gets for being a Bella wannabe - the only cool vamp girl is Sookie from the books because at the end of it all - she isn't afraid to kill anyone who messes with her relationship with Eric - vampire kings and heads of state alike - you go Sookie I hope you are the one that puts the stake through Victor Madden's selfish small dicked heart!

She will Berenice. Run…unless you like that kind of thing and if so let me watch.

Rogue: …When is Chi coming back?

Um…next chapter.

Rogue: … Elena is not 'healing' Damon's heart if anything she's destroying whatever little bond he has left with Stefan. 

Damon: Wait. Me and Stefan have a bond?

Stefan: Please don't strain your brain.

You guys have many bonds! Elena, Katherine, blood, Chi, any fan girl that screwed both of you on the same chapter.

Damon: Chi?

Stefan: Okay, really not helping!

Rogue: Dean - please you don't need cheerleaders - we don't want men prancing around in little skirts and tight tops screeching - I'd have to kill them... *Rogue growls at Dean then throws fire crackers at Sam and Cas* 

Sam: Hey!

Castiel: OW!

Rogue: They looked bored.

Dean: *Slaps forehead* I really want cheerleaders with big bouncy breast cheering my name. Like Damon.

Damon: You can't be like me!

Dean: Never wanted to.

Rogue: Gosh Chi get Sam and Cas to do something worthwhile - they're so needy its sad - Dean can get any man or woman he wants - the 2 of you are getting played and should focus on finding your own men and women ... hmmm I like Kat and Cas together for some odd reason ... a Kat and Cas one shot after I finish Bamon Lovin... Sam go fuck with Lestat or Louis - just not sparkly emo shit.

Edward: I have feelings!

Rogue: When did I ever care!

Chi's working on something for the two of them. So don't worry.

Rogue: Hey vie *Rogue hugs Vie* yeah Bamon babies would be legendary but Stonnie babies - sorry poor unibrowed kids with green eyes - like the loch ness monster - wait that's Eddies kid – that's like I don't know a very hairy looking kid - anyway Stefan is tooo... tame for Bon I think Stef and Caroline would be good together I just think Caroline would keep him on his toes and she's actually easier to bear than Elena - I'm sure there are people around the world picking up pitch forks for me for even hinting Stefan and Caroline - but I think they're cute together - well pitch fork people - if you want some come get some *Rogues eyes glow red* 

Haha Stonnie. I'm going to name one of my kids that.

Katherine: Shut up or I'll catch your stupidity.

Bob: I want a match!

Zero: You had one and lost.

Bob: Bring i…*Gets shot by Zero*

Zero: *Evil smirk*

Rogue: Bon-Bon I think I'm going to work with Mina and Beatrix on a spell to get you knocked up with Damon's kid... what you say ladies?

Bonnie: Don't you dare!

Alice: She's lying.

Bonnie: Huh?

Alice: *Flips through Bonnie's diary* Oooh I sense a story.

Bonnie: *Snatches the book and burns it with a spell*

Alice: I was on the part with you sandwiched between…

Bonnie: SHUT UP!

Alice: You're so cute.

Elena: Between who?

Katherine: Damon and Stefan?

Bonnie: T-This is not a guessing game.

Alice: Between two D's.

Bonnie: *Slaps forehead*

Rogue: hmmmm Cassie... Castiel maybe that's why Dean loves Cas more than Sam...

Sam: *Stares at Dean* …

Dean: *Smiles*

Castiel: I hope not.

Rogue: Well Chi Captain Planet might not answer your call (fucking fag - I bet he screws them 5 kids) but Captain Rogue will here * Rogue hands Chi a bell* Ring it whenever you need me to save you - and Stef and Damon can ring it whenever they need me to save them. 

I'll hand it to her later!

Stefan: I'm going to need this.

Damon: Not so much for me.

Rogue: Here future actress - have a flame thrower lets burn of all Edwards body hair then his stupid poofy hair and give him to Louis to rape. 

Louis: I don't want that. Give me Jacob.

Rogue: *Eyes turn red and Louis's head falls off*

Edward: O.O Do it again!

Rogue: You sure?

Edward: ….No.

Rogue: Damon *Rogue salutes Damon* You truly are a sexy beast - you beat sparkle bitch getting his ass raped over there. *Rogue makes out with Damon*

Edward: He's head is on the ground!

Rogue: I don't want to curse Eric with you.

Edward: …

Stefan: You're not taking care of me...

Rogue: You want me - you got to catch me * Rogue flies off*

She can fly?

Alice: She is full of surprise!

BeatrixMayfeir: So my potion works but this Elena doesn't know anything about the damn hotel yet! Oh well torturing her was fun at least! I should do it again*smile*! 

Elena: …

Beatrix: Stefan, for god sake, you and Damon are magnets for gay guys! Here*gives them bracelets* I put a powerful protection spell on them! If someone you don't like come close they will react and smite them but only if you really don't like them!

Damon: *Looks down and smirks* Hey Eric, Soul, Bob come here.

Eric: No.

Hell no.

Bob: FUCK OFF!

Beatrix: For Rogue *hugs her and cries on her shoulder* It's no fair I want DB back! Thanks for taking me on the backroom it cheered me up*kisses Rogue*! And seeing Ed and Bob fly was funny too! I can see new craters on the moon where they fell*laughs*! But please don't hurt Castiel! He's my cute little angel pet! You can hurt Sam all you want instead!

Rogue: No problems!

O.O I thought you flew away!

Rogue: For what I'm waiting for the next battle.

Beatrix: Katherine if you touch Chi with a damn finger I'll show you what I can really do when I'm pissed! 

Katherine: When she come on here I'm going to punch her in the face and there's nothing you can do about it.

Elena: I don't know why but you seem overly bitchy.

Katherine: I'm a bitch. Duh!

Bonnie: …No.

Katherine: You say something Bonnie and I will break you like a tooth pick!

Damon: What?

Katherine: Say out of it!

Beatrix: DEEEEAAAANNN*jumps on his back* Damon is cute but you are absolutely hotter then him! Wanna go to the backroom? I'll show you what a good cheerleader I am!  
Bye Chi*blows a kiss from the backroom door*

Wow. Chi is a lucky girl. Now Stefan please take your shirt off.

Stefan: No.

Please, what if I dress up like a girl.

Stefan: …*Walks off*

*Cries in a corner* So mean!

Alice: Okay! Time for the next match!

Appears on the screen Damon vs. Eric.

YES! It's the match I wanted to do!

Damon fan girls: Give me a D, Give me a A, Give me a M, Give me a O, Give me a N! What does that spell? Damon! *Jumps up and down.

Damon you lucky bastard!

Dean: *Nods*

Damon: *Walks to the ring* I ready.

Wait. Isn't Damon human now?

Damon: …FUCK I FORGOT!

Stefan: *Standing on the sideline and sighs*

Eric: *Walks to the ring* Ready for me?

Damon: *Twitch* Nope.

Eric: Too bad. *Rips off his shirt and throws it at the fans*

Um…where's Sookie and Tara?

Alice: Jasper is gone too.

Damon: Vaca with Chi a pet.

Jasper? Really?

Damon: I hope not! *Growls*

Okay let's do this! FIGHT!

Damon: *Runs to Eric and punches him*

Eric: *Unaffected*

Damon: *Jumps back and places hands up* Damn.

Eric: Was that really supposed to hurt.

Damon: Break this curse!

Eric: Only if you kiss me.

Damon: …Well I'm royally fucked.

Eric: *Laughs*

Rogue: Step away from him!

*Eats popcorn* I wonder if writer would break the spell.

Alice: You going to try?

Nope. Let me enjoy this.

Damon: You fucking suck!

But I'm not the one in the ring with a vampire and his crazed fans.

Eric fan girl: You're goin down bitches!

Damon fan girl: Bring it!

…

Eric: *Disappears*

Damon: Fuck.

Eric: *Appears in front of Damon and throws a kick*

Damon: *Places his hands out to block*

Rogue: *Catches the kick* Hi Eric.

Eric: *Smirks then jumps back*

Mina: *Punches some random Eric fan*

FutureActress: *Kicks someone* Go Damon Go!

…No Fair!

Dean: Kick butt cheerleaders!

Vie: *Knocks someone out with a bat*

Burntcinnamon: *Burns people with a flamethrower *

Blood bath!

Bonnie: I wonder if our fight is going to be like this.

Alice: *Shrugs*

…Please tell me you guys will be dressing in cosplay?

Elena: …

….Please?

Katherine: No.

Look guys there still going so we might just answer and let fangirls vent.

Pam: *shrugs* Those girls are visouis but Eric and Chi are the only one's to turn him back into a human…

Well I'm taking Chi's place so maybe I have that power.

Pam: Big If.

FutureActressKS: GOOO! DAMON!

Backing out of the battle?

FutureActress: Just taking a break.

Okay.

FutureActress: Gir, I'm back buddy! What should we do now? Or I could think of something better. Take this stake and go stab Edward 100 times with it! I think it would be hilarious!

Gir: Will there be syrup for the waffles?

FutureActress: …Sure but make sure you stab him 100 times?

Gir: *Takes the Stake* EDDIE!

Edward: *Runs away*

Gir: I WANT YOUR SYRUP!

FutureActress & Me: …

FutureActress: I'm team Damon all the way!

Damon: *Dodges a fan girl's kick* Who won't be…

Bonnie & Stefan: *Raises there hands*

Damon: Stefan you don't count and Bonnie stop lying to yourself.

Bonnie: Whatever.

FutureActress: Elena, do all Stefan fan girls bother you?

Elena: There kind of weird.

Bonnie: *Takes a few steps back*

Elena: *Glares at her*

FutureActress: Katherine and Bob, when are you guys going to die?

Katherine: I will take you with me brat.

Bob: I'll chock your mom.

FutureActress: Whatever. Edward haha loser! Damon won the Ew Sexy Beast Poll. *stabs wooden stake hard in the stomach*

Edward: Ow!

FutureActress: Take that bastard!

Edward: …

FutureActress: Gir lets party all night long!

Gir: *Covered in blood* Yay!

FutureActress: Damon I would do anything you want.

Damon: Help me fight! *Dodges a punch from Eric*

FutureActress: Gave me a minute! *Turns to Bonnie* Bonnie when are you going to stop resisting all this hotness right here *hugs Damon*.

Bonnie: You can keep him.

FutureActress: Jack *hands him bottle of rum*

Jack: …

Huh?

Jack: …

Jack?

FutureActress: Jack?

Jack: …*Screams*

Everyone: *Screams*

Jack: …Dancing…with…penis eating…panda!

*Twitch* Right.

FutureActress: Here. *Hands him the bottle*

Jack: Thanks!

FutureActress: Stefan *hands him 12 baby bunnies*

Stefan: *Takes it then looks at Katherine* Your not going to throw them in the river are you?

Katherine: …I'm offended. Why would I waste food?

Stefan: *Shake head*

FutureActress: Katherine, still hate you!

Katherine: Never cared!

FutureActress: Edward, DIE! *shoves a sword down his throat and sets him on fire, then hangs him over a pool of sharks*

Creative.

Katherine: The hell is this? The circus!

FutureActress: Stop hating on how I do things! I always get results.

Katherine: Your way sucks.

FutureActress: And you a bitch!

Katherine: And proud of it!

…Chi's host the girl one because can't handle girl drama. I'm a pitcher, never a catcher.

Lestat: You should try.

I want Stefan!

Lestat: Please, I've been barking up that tree for a while.

Stefan: *Growls* Stop staring at me.

Lestat: Can you moan? I want to replay that sound over and over in my head.

Stefan: …DAMON I'M COMING TO SAVE YOU!

Wow.

FutureActress: Elena! You're the best *hugs*

Elena: It's nice to get hugs.

FutureActress: And Gir, My fav little buddy!

Gir: I'm wearing a pig suit now.

…Great?

FutureActress: Back to battle! Say ya! *Looks at Eric's fan girls* WHO WANTS SOME OF THIS!

I think I found my wife.

FutureActress: In your dreams pal.

*Chuckles* If only.

Vampirewithasecret: Well anyway...For the whole Dean, Damon thing...I hate to say it...But I vote Damon...Now for this! *punches Katherine* CHOCK ON THAT YOU PRICK!

Katherine: *Coughs* YOU BETTER RUN NOW!

Vampire: *Sticks her tongue out*

Damon: Some help here!

Eric: You can't run for too long. We both know that.

Damon: Doesn't mean I won't try.

I wonder if I can change him because for some reason he annoys me more as a human.

Damon: Fuck you Eric. *Dodges shovels*

Eric: I knew you wanted me. *Dodges a flamethrower*

Damon: Stop twisting up my words!

Eric: But it's so much fun!

Damon: *Growls as he dodges random things that are thrown at him*

MinaFTW: Hey, where's Chi?

…Stop asking for her! I'm right here. Your host.

Mina: *Shrugs* Hiei, Hell yes they should have your show back instead of the stupid stuff they have.

Hiei: Thank you. You hear that cartoon network I'm hunting you asses!

Mina: Chi you are still awesome.

She would blush and say thank you. So like her.

Mina: High fives Vie* Yup, me you and Rogue are going to be best Bamon buddies.

Lol.

Bonnie: Bamon?

Elena: That's when put your name together with someone else name.

Bonnie: I know that but…really? I want to kill him, not fuck him!

Edward: You can fuck him then kill him.

Bonnie: …Maybe.

Mina: Hey Bonnie! Hands you gift basket 

Bonnie: Thanks…what's in here?

Damon: Is that a shirtless picture of me in there.

Bonnie: Psh* You wish it was

Mina: *Cocks her head to the side* But it is a shirtless picture of Damon.

Bonnie: Oh well you can have it.

Mina: Okay! Damon is so hot 

Bonnie: Here you go *Holds picture tight while I'm trying to pull it away from her*

Mina: *Twitch* Give me the picture then.

Bonnie: *Twitch* Here.

Mina: Then let go!

Bonnie: I'm giving it to you!

Damon: You did like me

Bonnie: Shut up, I'm just going to keep this picture so I could stick arrows in it when I do target practice

Mina: Uh-huh, you so want him

*Nods*

Bonnie: shut up *blushes*

Damon: Don't they all.

LeLe: Not me.

Well not LeLe.

Damon: *Jumps over a girl* She's evil, so her opinions don't count.

LeLe: *Throws a rock, hitting Damon in the head*

Mina: Oh and before I forget… *Grabs Elena by the hair and pushes her to the floor* You're still a stupid bitch, and I wish you didn't look like Nina Dobrev because you put her to shame you dumb slut.

Elena: So much for love!

Mina: and ladies *Rogue, Vie, Beatrix* I heard that a Bennett witch being one of the most powerful witches around should be careful around vampires because they can get knocked up pretty easily.

Bonnie: …Stop cursing me!

Mina: * Dean I can be your cheerleader!*Puts on skimpy cheerleader outfit and says*

Dean, Dean he's our man

if he can't beat em'

no one can!

Go Dean!

Dean: I'm a happy man! *Smiles*

Tootoughttummy: Hey guys.

Alice: New girl…Hi!

Tootought: Hi Alice. Omg I'm on! Yayy! Wow...hmm wait should i say? First off I must say I love you Miss Charity! *Hugs* And Damon should definitely be your bitch. He treats you like a slave now its time for him to taste his own medicine! BTW that is a dare.

I like her.

Damon: Don't you see I'm in a middle of a fight!

Tootought: Stephan I liked you but then i saw your brother...now I like him.

Stefan: It seems to always happen.

Tootought: Sam I like you better than Dean and I think you should be with him not Castiel.

Sam: *Smiles* About time! Thank you!

Tootought: Edward you are sooo stupid.

Edward: You just want to shine like me.

Tootought: *Places a finger on her chin* How did Bella dump again?

Edward: *Eyes water* BELLA!

Wow.

Tootought: Like wow. Jacob and Seth you're soo amazing. Pam you're hot. Katherine you sicken me.

Jacob: Thanks.

Seth: I'm happy someone cares for me.

Katherine: I will make up lick my shoes!

Tootought: *Roll eyes* Bonnie you are my fave outta everybody! (Even Damon) and I think you guys so should hook up. That's it for my first run. Again love you Charity! :)

Bonnie: There's no way I'm hooking up with him.

Alice: I know different. *Holds up Bonnie's Diary* Anyone wants to dare Bon-Bon into reading…

Bonnie: I thought I burned that!

Alice: *Evil smirk*

Bonnie: …I don't even want to know.

NykkiLeighVampireHeart: HAHA! I just saw Vampires Suck today and this is better! LOL "Don't use big words or you'll hurt yourself like last time." HAHAHA right on, Charlie!

I'll tell her when she comes back. *Smiles*

xXspoiiledheartXx: Katherine, do yu really want to noe wat im gonna do

Katharine: Yeah! Why did you think I asked!

Spoiiled: Damon- im gonna hold yu to tht *winks*

Damon: Good. *Throws a shoe at some girl's head*

Spoiiled: Stefan- damn must suck for yu.

Stefan: *Pulls out a bottle of pills* Yep.

Spoiiled: Edward- i would say i feel bad for yu but i don't.

Edward: MY FAN GIRLS UNTIE AND TAKE OVER THIS FUCKING SHOW!

Yeah…I really doubt that.

Edward: Shut up and stop running my moment!

Crazy…

Edward: Fuck this show!

Then are you going to leave?

Edward: Not until Chi tells me to go and she's too nice.

You didn't see her when I ripped her yuri manga. Four words for you guys. I…SAW…FUCKING…SATAN!

Alice: Ever I know not to mess with her comics, let's like an unwritten rule here.

Everyone: *Nods*'

Kind wished you guys were there to warn me. The bitch nearly ripped me into two pieces!

Katherine: …*Smirk*

What?

Katherine: Nothing.

Damon: OH MY GOD!

What!

Alice: ERIC IS OUT OF THE RING! HOW?

Elena: Damon raise his hand and Eric flew out of the ring.

So he went Airbender on him…so disappointing.

Alice: He…

Eric: Say anything…

Alice I know, I know.

*Rubs forehead* How does she do it.

Bonnie: Lot's of patient for us.

I think Chi should do Dean and who ever else's fight because this is too long and I don't like doing this.

Damon: *Get's out the ring* Wussy. The longest she's been away was like four days.

I'm not cut out for this…*Laughs* But I can feel her boobs so the jokes on…

Damon: *Tackles me* YOU WANT TO DIE!

WHY!

Alice: You not going to stop him?

Stefan: Nope.

Breakfastclub85: Dean *sits on lap* I get jealous when other people do sexual stuff with you. *Glares at Sam* But they can't take away our fuck buddy-ness.

Sam: *Narrows eyes* You want to fight or something?

Breakfast: You won't be able to handle it.

Sam: Pfft.

Breakfast: Chi I vote for Dean in the Dean-vs.-Damon-in-hotness thingy.

Dean: *Points at Damon* HA!

Damon: What ever.

Breakfast: Sam, what's up with the cast you randomly got in Season 2?

Sam: *Shrugs* I can't choose them myself.

Breakfast: Edward you have issues. And I hate you.

Edward: And I hope you trip and fall off a building.

Breakfast: Elena we should totally hang out sometime. 

Elena: This is the kind of love I'm talking about! Yeah, sure. *Smiles*

Breakfast: Alice was your time in the asylum like the movie/book Girl Interrupted?

Alice: It was horrible and I was going to kill myself just to get out of it.

Hahaha?

Alice: I'm serious.

First time for everything.

Breakfast: Jasper damn straight I missed you! *SUPER LONG HUG*

Jasper: Thank you!

…I thought you were on vaca.

Jasper: Just getting a few things.

Damon: Oookay. Tell that bitch to bring her ass back here now!

Jasper: Soul she said if he gets out of line then use the special photo.

Damon: O.O…

What is it?

Jasper: Somewhere, peace!

Breakfast: Gir I brought waffles!

Gir: YAY!

Breakfast: Cas, now dress up like Ke$ha!

Castiel: …I hate you.

I'm not going back there with you…

Castiel: *Sighs then walks to the dressing room*

Rogue: I'm back! I'm Team Damon all the way case he's The Sexy Beast - So Damon you want me to be N to test my flexibility... you should see me do a 'W'

Damon: Yes I should.

Rogue: Hey Chi, Pam - let's dance on the bar counter - hit it Stef *'California Girls' starts playing Rogue and Pam start taking off clothes... each others clothes...* 

I'm Chi see me. *Smiles*

Rogue: Pam honey you should stop wearing clothes - its a sin for me not to see you naked all the time.

*Nose bleed*

Pam: *Chuckles*

Rogue: So Damon what's your fondest memory of your mom - Stef I'm sure you can't remember cause she died bringing your unibrow into the world... anyway *Rogue flashes boobs at Stefan*

Damon: When she said that I was having a sister. Look what it turned out to be.

Stefan: Shut up. I saw mad at you but I like boobs more so I'm over it.

Rogue: Hey Damon what was Chi supposed to sing to you...

Damon: Wouldn't you like to know. *Laughs*

Rogue: Bon- Bon - I will save you from Kit Kat over there - I understand you're afraid of her that's why you're keeping your distance from Damon - Don't worry I have your back little witch.

Bonnie: Haha…right.

Katherine: You try anything I'll scalp you!

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes* So scary!

Rogue: Come Gir let's do the sparrow dance with Jack... in bright yellow bikini's YAY

Gir: *Singing the doom song and nods*

Rogue: Alright Damon lets make a deal - I'll dress Bon Bon after you have a go at playing dress up with little witch Barbie - Hey Alice you should totally dress Kat and Elena in matching outfits they're like twins.

Katherine: I will rape you.

Why are yo staring at me!

Rogue: *Rogue grabs Random Bonnie Fan, rips of her head tosses it to Edward and bathes in her blood* No one threatens the Chi a pet - or they die *Rogue blows kiss to Chi*

Me like being chi!

Rogue: Well that's all the time I have Hey Pam hon I have a suggestion for FGW when Eric and Damon face each other I'll have Damon's corner and you can have Eric's - Rough foreplay is awesome - me and you are going to christen that ring!

I think chi should redo the Eric and Damon battle. I got to lazy.

Rogue: Oh and Soul - hands off Stefan or I'll make you eat your own dick and make you my bitch - get it got it good.

I'm all for being your bitch but damn! Stay away from my poker!

Rogue: Pam honey - bring a few of the girls in the back room with you - I'm covered in Bonnie Fan girl blood - which you can lick off.

Pam: You're too kind.

*Rogue makes out with Pam*

Damon: Can't I lick it off?

You have to ask Chi for permission :D

Damon: She ain't my master.

Stefan: What about me!

Rogue: I told you Stef - you want me come get me.

BereniceAndrea: I've decided I'm gonna stay and watch the show today from right there in the corner... So, I've got a chair already set and some popcorn... I'm gonna go sit and talk from there. Want some popcorn? 

Sure!

BereniceAndrea: So Rogue you don't even dare come near me cause I'll suck you're blood out and I'll give it to Stefan.

She might like it.

Rogue: You wanna try?

*Cups mouth* RUN!

Berenice: Anyway, did I hear Damon vs. Dean? That's a hell of a battle, but I'm 300% TEAM DAMON I mean, he's just Damon *looks at him and faints* .NOW 

Damon: Wait until this dare is over. I hope you like it rough.

Berenice: I'm pretty sure I don't have anything to say today... I'm just an observer... Except... *looks at Eddy and hides the matches in her hand* BWHAHAHAHAHA *stands up* Hi Katherine! *blushes* can you teach me to be evil?

Beware! This girl has matches. This is the end on the PSA.

Katherine: Kill someone and I can teach you more.

That's a role model.

Katherine: The hottest one you'll ever find.

Berenice: *runs to Edward and sets him on fire* I HATE YOU FAIRY! DIE! BWHAHAHAHAHA

O.O. Cool.

Berenice: Ok, now I'm gonna go back to my seat to finish my popcorn. Elena, I'm attacking anyone who wants to hurt you *shows guns and smiles to her*

Elena: *Cries* I love you!

Berenice: Hi Stefan I love you :).

Stefan: *Smirks*

BroadwayAngelLyric: Damon, how do you feel about you possibly having sex with Katherine this season? BTW I'm using my wizard powers to put a vampire-resistant field around your ass so Stefan doesn't have to protect you and you can be mean again. Yay!

Damon: When am I ever nice to that bastard.

Broadway: You saved him. In my book that's being nice.

Damon: True. Your on your own.

Rogue: We had a deal!

Damon: Don't care.

Rogue: My revenge will be swift and merciless.

Damon: So scaried.

Rogue: You will be.

Yep you fucked up big time Damon.

Broadway: Katherine, if you had to choose between Salvatores right now, who would you choose?

Katherine: Stefan.

Broadway: I wasn't talking about for a pet!

Katherine: Stefan's bigger.

Broadway: Haha…no I'm serious.

Katherine: I don't need to lie.

Broadway: Bad joke…very bad. How come Jack is always drunk but is saner than most of you? 

Damon: He's sleep most of the time. You can't count him.

Jack: I'm better when I'm drunk. *Laughs*

Gir: Good dance bunnies.

Bunnies on the dance floor doing the superman.

Everyone: …

Gave me what those bunnies have.

Stefan: They never did that before.

Gir: I gave them space carrots for the rats!

…

Broadway: Bob, I can't get rid of you so I'm gonna send you to another show to reek havoc. It's called "The Backyardigans". Have fun! If Satan comes back, I'm killing that mofo again jsyk.

Bob: I don't want to be with a moose!

Broadway: YOUR GOING!

Satan: Eat soul?

…Which soul are you talking about?

Satan: *Smiles*

I'm leaving.

Damon: Good.

Broadway: Jack, I got you a date with Ke$ha. She likes sex and booze. Enough said. Here's extra booze since I'm supplying for two this chapter.

Jack: Done deal love.

Broadway: Eric and Pam, do you think Bill should get on here for violent purposes? 

Eric: …Yes.

Pam: Sure. I'm tired of watching my little pink vampire get tortured I want new prey.

Edward: Thanks.

Pam: I wasn't saving you. I just got bored with you.

Edward: *Twitch*

Broadway: Zero, guns are on sale today at my weapons shop. BTW I opened a weapons shop since torture is a huge money maker on this show. And I'm selling tickets to get in the backroom for the people I hate. *cough Stefan, Edward, Bob* 

Zero: Can we add Louis and Lestat to that list and we'll make it a done deal.

Lestat: Bring it cutie.

Broadway: Stefan, here's a grizzly bear, can you handle big animals instead of the dummy damn bunnies? *bear attacks Stefan*

Stefan: *Punches the bear* I don't fight against fangirls what do you think a bear can do?

Broadway: Bonnie, I'm torn over which version of you I like more? Book or show? Ii do like your show appearance better though. I guess I'll wait until the next book comes out to decide.

Bonnie: I'm guessing I'm awesome anyways? *Shrugs*

Broadway: Edward, I'm too tired to threaten you so go in timeout or something.

Edward: Really?

Got off easy.

Edward: Cool.

Vie: Yo!

Hello.

Vie: …

She not here.

Vie: Wasn't about to ask that but okay! Chi that Twilight stuff was hella funny! I think you should do an episode of Degrassi and have Elena and Katherine meet Maria; that would be interesting!

That would be fun!

Vie: Tara, I saw True Blood Sunday and all I have to say about you and Sam is: DAMN! That was an awesome show but I don't want Eric to die with Russell; Eric has to live; he's the only VAMPIRE on that show that I LOVE! But I LOVE/LUST Damon exclusively *winking at Damon*

Damon: *Winks back*

Alice: How can you put up with that?

Bonnie: Stop staring at me!

Alice: Chi's not here so it's you Bon-Bon.

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes*

Vie: Enough with the femslash and maleslash PEOPLE...Dean needs a woman...PERIOD! Dean, how do you feel about...I don't know...a brown-skinned chick with curves to die for to...I don't know..ROCK YOUR WORLD?...**pst-the brown-skinned chick is me :P** Oh and Sam, don't feel bad, I would SOOO do you AFTER I shagged (didn't want to totally curse) your sexy ass brother's brains out.

Dean: What's wrong with having both. But me likey Vie.

Sam: Sure why not.

Vie: Chi, you see this, see what reading this stuff is doing to my persona?

*Laughs* We're here to corrupt you.

Vie: Question: If you were the last person on earth and The Master sent down someone from this fic to procreate with you, who would it be and why? NOTE: since you people are nasty and kinky, it doesn't matter if it is girl on girl or boy on boy, but think about this...ONLY girl on boy can procreate...HA HA HA!

For me it will be STEFAN!

Stefan: *Growls*

Damon: Um. Katherine?

Alice: *Starts laughing*

Damon: *Glares* What?

Alice: Nothing. Mine's will be Chi bear!

Lestat: I can't choose between Zero and Stefan.

Zero: Let me choose for you. *Shoots Lestat* Bastard. *Twitch* Yuki.

Bob: Your mom!

Vie: Ew…

Eric: Sookie.

Pam: Sookie. She's fun to play with!

Edward: BELLA!

…

Elena: Stefan?

Bonnie: …

Vie: What's wrong.

Bonnie: *Mumbles under her breath*

Vie: Can't hear you.

Bonnie: DAMON!

Damon: *Smirk* I knew it.

Bonnie: Just…die!

Stefan: Alice. She's barable.

Alice: Aw. Thanks.

Vie: PS: All you writers out there, we fans need a Tara/Bonnie crossover fic...just think about it and NO...absolutely no femslash!

Just a little?

Vie: No.

Fine. I can't promise that but what the hey! Okay people the show is done and you will give your Chi Chan back. So we want to thank LeLelurvsGlee, TwilightRocks, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, FutureActressKS, Vampirewithasecret, MinaFTW, Tootoughtummy, NykkiLeighVampireHeart, xXspoiiledheartXx, Breakfastclub85, BereniceAndrea, BroadwayAngelLyric, Vie, and Vamp213 for reviews and questions. If you think I did good, I just might make my own fanfiction. So Peace!

Alice: Love.

Tara: And cold chocolate.

Hey your back.

Chi: Tara is funny.

Sookie: We got into a fight.

Tara: Those bastards shouldn't have fucked with me.

You have a lot of work.

Chi: *Smiles* I know. But I'm back.

People tell ms. writer that have a few flamers don't make you a bad writer. You need more so they can be you stepping stone to fame. Bye Guys and I hope you enjoyed it.

Damon: I'm…going…to…kill…you…

Chi: *Takes a step back then starts running*

Damon: GET BACK HERE! *Chases her*

Eric: …

*Blows a kiss*


	59. Don't mess with Master Darla!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Angel!

Damon: Where the hell she sent us now?

Cordelia: Welcome to Angel investigations!

Stefan: …What?

Angel: I'm a vampire with a soul that was curse by gypsies…

Damon: Don't want to here your life story.

Angel: ...I'm over two hundred! That's not my life story.

Damon: Still don't care.

Stefan: He never does.

Damon: *Mumbles under his breath* Shut up.

Cordelia: So what brings you here?

Damon: So psycho with a computer.

…

Stefan: *Sighs*

Angel: I deal with…

Damon: Do you what a sniper?

Angel: …The hell. I figure out stuff, I'm not a assassin.

Damon: *Sighs* I have to do it myself then.

…That's mean!

Damon: You don't matter!

Stefan: Stop pissing her off before she makes you face Barney again.

Angel: I think I know her.

Damon: Barney.

Angel: You mean Lady Gaga.

Stefan: You know about that?

Angel: *Coughs*SHEBEHINDTHEDOOR*Coughs*

Damon: *Runs to the door and sees Barney/Lady Gaga* WHY THE HELL ARE YOU…

Barney: Can't read my, can't read my, no he can't read my poker…*Damon punches him in the mouth*

Damon: PAY BACK!

Stefan: I have bats!

Damon: Thanks. Let's see if this bastard is stuff with candy!

Barney: Not the face!

Angel: …I don't get paid much.

* * *

Me & Bonnie: THIS IS FUCKED UP DAMON. *Dresses up in french maid outfits*

Damon: *Laughs* It's funny.

No…it's really not.

Damon: Oh be quite besides…you never sang that song.

…

Bonnie: What song?

Damon: *Smirk* One.

Really?

Damon: Two.

Please don't make me!

Damon: Three.

OH! Damon had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb…

Stefan: Damon? Really?

Damon had a little lamb her name was Charity and…

Darla: *Attacks Damon*

…

Everyone: O.O…WHY!

Alice: Did not see that coming.

Um…guys remember I was talking about Darla…well here she is.

Damon: Get you dog off me!

Darla: DOG! I'LL SHOW YOU A DOG!

…. I think I see bone.

Tara: The fuck is this. More crazy people!

Elena: Who isn't crazy on this show?

Jack: Y-You know what? I like you.

Katherine: *Trips him*

That's mean!

Katherine: And.

Your evil!

Katherine: Do I ever care? I kill bunnies for a living. *Stares at Stefan*

Stefan: Leave them alone!

Damon: *Twitches* She…ripped…my…clothes!

Eric: Good look.

Damon: Stay away from me!

Eric: *Blows a kiss*

Damon: *Shivers* So how long were you planning to be gone. *Limps to a chair*

Darla: THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!

…You're crazy.

Darla: I know right.

Yeah…just don't hurt me.

Darla: Can not promise that. *Smiles*

Alice: *Takes a step back* Bonnie step back.

Elena: What about me?

Alice: …Okay.

So I'm back and I wanted to do something special for Sam and Castiel.

Sam: Do I have to dress up like you.

…No.

Castiel: Then I'm in. Breakfastclub had me dressing up like Kesha!

Sam: You take less baths then her.

Castiel: You want to fight?

Sam: *Eyes flicker black* Bring it.

Hey, hey, hey! Come on! I wanted to do something for you guys!

Damon: This is my show!

I made it I do whatever I want to it!

Damon: *Smirks* Okay. I'll remember that.

*Gulps* Um…okay. Well I want to do a blind date for them.

Sam & Castiel: I just want Dean!

Damon: Pause.

Sam: Oh not you too.

So anyways we're sending you two on dates and tell us if you would date them again.

Damon: Like that Blind Date show.

Seth: Are they really blind?

Damon: …You are stupid.

Darla: *Hits Damon with a bat*

Damon: WHY?

Darla: I like Seth!

Damon: Your going to pay…Chi.

Wha…why me?

Damon: Because you let her on here!

Darla: Haha. I'll claw your eyes out! Don't treat me like I'm trash I'm realier than you will ever be. Dumbass. *Sticks tongue out*

Stefan: *Trying to stop laughing* Damon…

Damon: Say anything and I will show everyone you collection.

Stefan: …

So guys! Are you ready?

Sam: No. If you hook me up with Bob…

*Places hands up* It's no one from the show!

Sam: Okay. Let's do this then.

Bye guys!

Tootoughtummy: I'm back! Miss me? I have a stupid cold so Alice could you come take care of me?

Alice: Sure! Why not. *Smiles*

Tootough: Also I have something to get off my chest...Sam you sicken me even more. I cannot believe you! How could you take evil psycho demon bitch Ruby's side over your own brother's!

Sam: Thanks for telling me that before my date.

Tootough: Don't care. I still love you but *shakes my head* Damon, still love you...but I like Stephan more now. He appeals to me again. *Hands Stephan a bunny*

Stefan: *Laughs* Thanks.

Damon: I'm hotter.

Stefan: Yet I took a fan girl of yours.

Damon: Don't get a big head. Well maybe it can match those eyebrows.

Stefan: Might be true but I didn't almost get raped by Eric.

Damon: …Fuck you!

Stefan: *Chuckles* One point for me.

Tootough: Sorry. Castiel, you make me happiest right now.

Castiel: Thank you. *Laughs at Sam*

Sam: Shut up! I don't care about a troll!

Tootough: I'm not a troll. I just state the facts.

Sam: …You got them wrong.

Tootough: *Rolls eyes* And Edward why on God's green earth would ANYBODY want to even have one single thing in common with you?

Edward: Because I'm hot.

Damon: You're a fairy.

Edward: A very hot one.

Tootough: I feel bad for Stephan being compared to your shiny, emo, sorry, cant keep a girlfriend cuz she's a lesbian, ass.

Edward: …BELLA!

Damon: Stop crying over some brain dead bitch!

Edward: At least she's not a roach! *Looks at Elena*

Elena: Keep me out of this!

Tootough: Oh and Katherine? The only thing I would ever do to your shoes is burn them. See ya peeps later! Oh and FYI Bonnie stop denying your feelings for Damon!

Katherine: Burn these shoes and I will burn every inch of your body!

Bonnie: I…do…not…like…DAMON!

Alice & Darla: YOU LOVE HIM, YOU LOVE HIM!

Bonnie: Pixie bastards.

Alice: Haha! Besides I still have your diary.

Bonnie: I burnt it! How did you get it…again?

Darla: You can't mess with the master.

Breakfastclub85: Sam yeah I'll fight you, and you'll regret challenging me.

Damon: He's on his date with someone.

Should we check in?

Tara: Poor kid.

You're kidding me. Damon!

Damon: You said find dates. Not tell me that they have to be hot.

*Slaps forehead* You're…

Damon: The man?

…Let's just get this finish.

Breakfast: *Shakes head* Are you for real?

Damon: Stop hating on my result.

Breakfast: … Cas You look so good as a chick! Now be Madonna!

Breakfast: Katherine you and Bob make the perfect couple!

Katherine: And you look better dead. *Smiles*

Breakfast: *Wrinkles face* Cute.

Katherine: Burn in hell.

Breakfast: Elena how do you deal with a druggie brother?

Elena: It was hard but all you have to do is stand by him and reach out to him as much as you can.

Breakfast: Sweet.

Elena: I read it in a book once.

Katherine: You take that Sweet back.

Breakfast: Shut up. Edward: Your and your creepy ass need to get a life. I hate you and WASH YOUR FREAKIN HAIR!

Edward: *Coughs* Get a breath mint. Maybe some gum. Hell try both.

Breakfast: *Hits Edward with a bat* Dean my heart belongs to you! *pushes to the ground and starts making out with him*

Damon: This show can be a kids show one minute then a porno the next…Chi…

I'm not doing a M version of this.

Damon: Well there are a lot of writers who can do it. Rogue?

Stop it.

Damon: I just drop a name.

Vampirewithasecret: Wait! Did someone flame Chi! WHO THE FUCK DID IT! I WILL FLAME THEM RIGHT BACK THE NO TALENT JEALOUS BITCHES!

Lol. I was upset about it at first because I worked really hard on that story but then if I had the best story in the world there will always be haters and I have come to accept it.

Damon: I'll snap their neck if you want.

…No…thanks? Maybe later.

Damon: Sure.

You know, you can be really nice.

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of my head*

Then you lost me.

Vampire: And Soul you did really good...even though Damon didn't like you.

Stefan: He doesn't like anybody.

Damon: That's somewhat true.

Vampire: *Kicks Cas* *shrugs* I just wanted to do that...

How did she get there?

Damon: Great. Another witch.

Bonnie: Shut up.

BroadwayAngelLyric: Zero, we can add Louis and Lestat to the list if you still want too?

Zero: Thank you!

Broadway: I'm having a special fangirl sale today, guns, knives, and satanic babies for $10.00 each. Damon and Zero, you get everything free.

Zero: *Evil smirk* Revenge.

Lestat: He is so cute.

Broadway: Satanist.

Lestat: You love it.

Broadway: No. Between Dean and Damon, Damon wins. No competition, sorry Dean.

Dean: It's okay. Because Damon dies later. *Smiles*

Damon: You die too!

Dean: You want to fight right now?

Guys!

Broadway: Shouldn't somebody on this show be pregnant or at least have an STD because you all have a lot of sex.

I have a feeling Bonnie will be first.

Bonnie: What about you?

I'm the host. And I'm not a target.

Damon: Twins.

Don't know, don't care.

Damon: Jealous?

If I do I'll just run to your brother.

Damon: Not funny.

*Rolls eyes*

Broadway: Chi, exactly how many people are on this show now? I bet it's over 20.

Um? Maybe a little under? Not very sure.

Broadway: Stefan, are you really with Elena or what because you're sleeping with a lot of fangirls. BTW for you, it costs $20 dollars per trip to the backroom from now on.

Stefan: You don't complain about Damon.

Broadway: He does whatever he wants.

Stefan: He's a hoe.

Broadway: But he doesn't have a girlfriend…*Winks at Damon* Yet.

Damon: *Waves*

Broadway: Katherine, be nicer to some of these idiots. It's gonna take them a bit more time to realize your awesomeness.

I'm not an idiot.

Katherine: Can't tell.

…

Broadway: Jack, how was the date with Ke$ha? BTW here's 15 bottles of rum an since it's still technically summer, here's some vodka popsicles.

Jack: It was cool. She my dream lass!

Broadway: Damon, I'm still in your corner during the war. Here's a gift, it's 3 magic beer bottles that grants you 3 wishes that have to be used this chapter. No genie but to make a wish just smash a bottle into pieces. Any wish you want. Being a vamp again can be a wish too hint, hint. Only Damon can use the wishes.

Damon: Good. *Smashes the bottle* I wish to be a vampire again.

Poof.

Damon: …That's it?

Broadway: Yep.

Damon: Cool.

Broadway: *kills Satan again*

O.O…He was pretty cool.

Broadway: It sucks. Edward, I let you off easy last chapter but guess what Eddie, for Christmas, I'm gonna make you swallow some light bulbs, put you on top of the tree, and let you sparkle while I shoot holes in you.

Edward: You are a very dirty girl.

Broadway: That's not sex!

Edward: I'm trying to get what I can.

Broadway: *Ignored* Bob, go to timeout. I'm bored with you today. So just go. You don't matter anymore.

Bob: I SEEN YOU POO!

…

Broadway: Eric, I saw the Rolling Stone cover, awesome, you looked so comfortable naked for some reason. And I read the part inside about how you go commando unlike the rest of the guys on the show.

Eric: What's wrong with being naked?

Broadway: Bonnie, you do rock either way. Show and books alike. :)

Bonnie: Thanks.

Elena: I get no love huh?

Broadway: *Walks away*

Elena: …

xXspoiiledheartXx: Katherine- i will pour vervain on yu take yur ring off in the sun then give yu it back and do it all over again just to watch yu suffer.

Katherine: Bring it on!

Spoiiled: Believe me. You don't want me.

Katherine: I've seen a cow scarier then you!

Spoiiled: *Rolls eyes* Damon- yur on a special list for me too and watt did yu mean wen yu called me a cat eared girl.

Damon: It's when you wear a head band that…

…Damon. PG.

Damon: Pfft. We left that a few months ago.

True.

Damon: Go on google and type neko. It's Chi's fault that I like that sort of thing.

Guys with cat ears are hot!

Damon: You see why your opinions don't matter.

…

Spoiiled: Stefan- y do yu keep taking them if they dont work.

Stefan: Because there gummi. Nuff said.

Spoiiled: Edward- wat fans yu lost them all wen yu took off yur shirt.

Edward: Hey! I make little girls tingle in there pants!

Spoiiled: And that's something to be proud of?

Edward: Die!

Spoiiled: Bella should have left you a long time ago.

Edward: Your mom.

…Not that again.

TwilightRocks: Hey everyone! Damon *shows up in cat woman outfit* so what list am I on for you?

Damon: Very. Very. Hot.

Twilight: *Giggles*

Damon: Yeah.

Twilight: Dean* uses powers to change to cheer leader outfit* Go! Dean!

Dean: Hooray for short skirts!

Twilight: Damon I can change u back to a vampire anytime I want to and I have decided only I can change you back muhahah!

Damon: Yeah…someone beat you to the punch.

Twilight: Chi, hi.

Hello! *Smiles*

Twilight: Katherine still love ya!

Katherine: What is not to love about me?

Bonnie & Elena: Everything.

Katherine: You both need to keep one eye open.

Bonnie: Never have to.

Elena: …

Twilight: Soul last chapter I would have been fine with you changing him back instead of chi and for future reference when I say only chi can do something I mean chi or who ever is writing the show at that time.

Damon: Too late now. I'm a vampire again! Ha.

Twilight: Lestat, don't worry i'm your fan girl.

Lestat: Awesome.

Twilight: Damon sorry! Didn't know your fight with Eric was this chapter if you guys ever have another fight you're temporarily let out off what ever I did to you.

Damon: Okay.

Twilight: Damon I'm yours and Deans personal cheer leader for this chapter. Chi please don't wait forever to update again.

I won't!

Damon: I don't like to share.

Dean: Me either.

Twilight: Too bad!

Dean & Damon: Ooohh!

Beatrix: Hi Soul! I really enjoyed the chapter you're funny and look great in that host outfit! CHI*hugs and kisses you* welcome back! Where did you go and did you miss us? I made a video of Damon vs. Eric so you can watch it too! And what's you're plan for Cas and Sam? A special fight for Dean's heart?

Um…In Oakland and I'll watch it. Can you give me the link? *Smiles* And those two are having a special date. Let's tune in now.

* * *

Sam: MY HAIR'S ON FIRE *Running around*

Heather: Come here and let me put it out!

Castiel: Stay away from me! *Runs away*

Dina *Tranny*: I thought you like snakes!

Castiel: NOT YOURS! It's hairy! MY EYES!

* * *

Damon: Funny!

Beatrix: Hey Rogue*jumps on Rogue and makes out* you're a genius of torture! I like the idea of the giant wheel but we should use knives, don't you think? And who wants to join can take a ticket!

Zero: Let's do it!

Beatrix: Hi Zero*kisses* good job with Louis! Can you help me?*Gives him a gun* can you shoot Edward? I need him distracted!

Zero: *Grabs the gun* Fine. *Shoots Edward five times in the head*

Louis: Not distracted.

Beatrix: *Steals Ed's wallet while he is on the ground* Yeah now I can go buy the ingredients for the potion that will work with the spell to get Bonnie knocked up! And I can do a lot of shopping too! Alice do you want to join me?

Alice: Sure. It will give me something to do.

Beatrix: Katherine don't say I didn't warn you*grabs Kat and cuts her hands of than covers the wounds with vervain so they can't grow back and forces Bob to eat the hands* now I want to see how would you punch Chi in the face, bitch! Bye everyone*waves and drags Dean and Cas in the backroom*

Katherine: You are DEAD!

Elena: So lucky that she's not after me.

Bonnie: You wouldn't hit Chi.

Elena: I'm not stupid enough to.

Rogue: Somewhat smart girl.

Elena: *Flinch*

Rogue: I'm not after you…yet. Hmmmm - I think I actually liked Soul - but no one beats you Chi! *Rogue throws chocolates at Charity* Soooo how was your vaca - Damon was like a lost puppy without you.

*Laughs* My vacation was pretty good. I bet Damon didn't miss me, he was probably fucking Bonnie and Elena like bunnies.

Damon: I sense jealously.

I'm over it. You and Bonnie are from the same world and besides I love you two as a couple. *Smiles*

Damon: *Smirks* The why do I smell rage?

You ruined my moment! Let my fan girlness die down, okay!

Damon: Liar, liar pants on fire, hanging from a telephone wire.

…

Rogue: I actually kinda sorta love and hate Kat at the same time. Love her attitude hate how she tore the Salvatore family apart - I guess Kat never had a mom...

Katherine: My mom was a bitch and I hope she rots in hell.

Rogue: Jack - these people are really cruel to you - they don't give you enough booze - here have a bottle of Baileys

Jack: *Sleeping on the floor* Run…bitch….run…

Rogue: …I'm just going to sit the bottle beside you. *Places by Jack*

*Laughs*

Rogue: Damon you double crossing bastard - Stef I'm going to have to stay on here and protect your ass myself. Damon remember that spell only protects your ass - if Eric decides to skull fuck you - you're on your own. *Rogue snaps fingers and Damon is shackled with his head at Eric's crotch level - Eric starts to unzip himself*

Damon: Rogue... we were friends...

Rogue: You went back on your word... *Rogue snaps fingers, shackles disappear and so does Rogue's Damon cheerleader outfit, Rogue is now wearing red leather Eric cheerleader outfit* You Like?*Rogue turns around for Eric and Pam*

Pam: *Purrs* Love.

Eric: Yep.

Rogue: Pam honey - will you keep Stefan safe for me? I promise I'll make it up to you in the backroom.

Pam: Anything for you.

Rogue: Damon you're lucky you're Stefan's brother or I would have let Eric take your mouthginity - you should thank your brother.

Damon: Never going to happen.

Rogue: Heart Broken my little pet - come to momma! *Rogue chases Heart Broken with a green dildo*

Heart-Broken: *Throws random stuff at Rogue*

Rogue: *Dodges it* Hi hunny !

Heart-Broken: There's no way in hell I'm letting you touch me!

Rogue: I would love to see you try.

Heart-Broken: *Disappears in black smoke*

Rogue: *Laughs* No fair. Anyways, Damon if you don't make me happy and suck up to me and do everything I say I'm putting you in a slash fic with... EDWARD - so you decide if you want your dick to look like a disco ball

Damon: …Pfft. I'll protect him but I'm not going to be nice to him.

Rogue: Well I am still Team Damon in the Damon-Dean war cause... I don't want Dean taking Stefs assginity.

Dean: It's just a fic.

Rogue: It's Stefan's ass!

Dean: I like it!

Rogue: Satan come to your co creator *Rogue give's Satan a blowtorch* Now go chase Edward with it – that' a good little Demon

Satan is dead…again.

Rogue: LOL - Soul thinks I'm the scary one... wonder who gave him that idea *Rogue raises eyebrow at Chi*

*Smiles* In a sexy way.

Rogue: *Smiles* Flattery gets you no where.

Lol, I'm not the type to lie about this.

Damon: …Are you flirting?

*Laughs* Maybe.

Rogue: Elena - unlike Kat who I kinda like - I don't like you - though it isn't as much as I despise Bella - at least you had common sense to run when Stefan said he's a vampire.

But she's still went to him.

Elena: This is the closest she'll be to nice for me.

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and Elena is tied to spinning wheel, table of darts appears* Beatrix hon - you go first, Bonnie, Kat want to join? How about you Chi a pet?

…I'm okay.

Rogue: Gosh Damon - you are so dense at times - of course you have a bond with Stefan - if you were in danger no one on this show would help you except Stefan and Eric, Stefan out of duty and Eric cause he wants to corkscrew your ass.

Stefan: True.

Damon: I said I'll do it. Stop getting all preachy on me.

Rogue: You want cheerleaders with big bouncy breasts Dean... Well... I'm Eric's cheerleader - but I'll make my boobs bounce for you (I think I have the biggest tits on the show...)

Katherine: *Folds her arms* Good for you.

Rogue: 6.7.8

Eric, Eric He's our vamp

Looks so hot he'll make your panties damp

Gooooooo Eric!

Damon: Nice cheer.

Darla: Seen better. I hate it, get a bra. *Slaps Rogue's boobs into a table*

Rogue: *Touches Darla*

Darla: I was born before you so you don't work on me! IN YO FACE!

Rogue: Haha. *Hits Darla with a dagger* Don't care. *Evil laugh*

Darla: *Punches her in the eyes and kicks her in the shins and runs* Haha YOU CAN'T GET ME!

Rogue: *Twitch* Yeah…*Throws a table at her*

Darla: *Dodges* Haha you can…*Hits a wall*

…Where?

Rogue: Earth bender.

Whoa.

Rogue: Bonnie that spell is coming right at ya next review - get ready to house the BAMON baby in your womb...

Bonnie: I refuse.

Damon: Give it up.

Bonnie: No. I don't like you.

Damon: Right…

Rogue: Yo Tara, Sookie, Jacob and Seth everyone feeds the vamps but never you guys - here have some cookies and milk * Rogue hands Sookie a tray to distribute*

Seth: Mines look weird.

Jacob: Same here.

Tara: Mine's in a shape of a dick…why?

Rogue: Don't know…*Looks over at Darla*

Darla: Don't blame me. You have bad cooking skills, you probably poisoned it too.

Rogue: …*Twitch* Edward - your fangirls such big shitty gay monkey balls - if I met them I'd throw grenades at them - they belong in a mental ward

Darla: *Throws a bucket of ice cold water on Rogue*

Rogue: Son of a bitch!

Darla: Hey mental wards aren't that bad! Haha.

Rogue: *Shivers and gets snotty*

Darla: Stupid, stupid…

Rogue: *Sneezes on Darla*

Darla: O.O! YOU'RE DEAD! *Tackled Rogue*

…She's gonna get raped ain't she?

Damon: Who knows?

Stefan: She's has razors, I think she's trying to shave Rogue's head.

O.O…Um…who is the girl standing behind them?

Darla: *Looks back and flips over* The hell.

Heart-Broken: She's mine! I'm the one who's gonna skin her….

Darla: I just wanted her hair…

Heart-Broken: NEVER!

Darla: Okay? *Snaps fingers and disappears*

Everyone: O.o I saw flames!

Rogue: She too small for me.

Wait…you had a sex toy with you the whole time?

Stefan: Sounds like her.

Rogue: I love it rough.

*Slaps forehead*

Damon: To think Rogue would till try to rape someone even if she lose.

Rogue: Still a win for me.

Damon: Yeah, but you got a black eye.

Rogue: Not gonna last long. I've touched a lot of people…

Damon: Even though I want to hear the story but not right now.

Rogue: *Shrugs*

She fucked up my wall!

*In red paint…or blood* REVEGEN IS MINE!

*Cries in a corner* Why does everyone mess up my stuff!

Damon: It's fun.

Rogue: I want Bonnie Vs Kat or Elena and Alice Vs Kat or Sookie :D

That sounds fun to write.

Alice: BITCH IT'S ON!

Katherine: …Shut up pixie.

Alice: *Gets in a fighting stance*

Rogue: Kat you can't rape me - Pam won't let you - I'll rape you first.

Katherine: BRING IT!

Rogue: Now for my revenge on Damon! *Rogue snaps fingers and a Chastity belt appears around Chi's Boobs and nether regions*

Epp!

Rogue: Haha! I wouldn't try to break that if I were you... I melded the metal with vervain. Until you stick to your promise Chi will be stuck in that Chastity belt unless I want to play around with her... BTW Chi I'll be knocking on your window at 9 tonight with Pam - we bought new vibrators!

Damon: I said I would do it!

I'll be waiting.

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers again and Bonnie starts making out with Alice... both of them head to the back room*

Wow…*fans self*

Rogue: Eric I dare you to make Sookie cum so much she faints - both of you to the back room now!

Eric: Okay. *Grabs and drags Sookie*

Rogue: Pam - go make Sam scream like a little girl

Pam: Sam is still on his date.

Rogue: Fine, you'll come with me. Who else... Elena, Katherine, Seth, Jacob, Tara, Louis, Edward, Lestat... *Rogue snaps fingers and Elena and Edward start dry humping*

O.O. That's new.

Rogue: *Laughs* I know. Kat seeing as you are a cougar I dare you to make Jacob and Seth your sex slaves...

Katherine: *Holds a whip* Come on! *Slams the whip to the ground*

Seth: ….You for real?

Katherine: Just go!

Jacob: Yes Kat.

Katherine: Why can't be like him?

Seth: Because I still have balls.

Katherine: *Hits him with the whip* Bad dog! Don't talk to your master like that!

…Why Katherine?

Rogue: They look bored. Tara since I like you - Stefan go take Tara to a movie and buy her a real nice dinner - here have Damon's credit card you can take her shopping as well.

Tara: Your not going to eat me…are you?

Stefan: I'm not like Damon.

Damon: Bastard.

Rogue: Louis, Lestat - you have each other

Lestat: I wanted Stefan!

Rogue: Just go!

Louis: *Walks away with a crying Lestat*

Rogue: Chi come with me - lets go get some hot chocolate and cake at some expensive cafe with Edwards Credit card.

Yay!

Rogue: Bob and Satan play nice. Bye Damon - enjoy the show ... alone.

Damon: W-wait.

* * *

Hey Damon I brought back some cake!

Damon: How could you abandon me for cake?

I brought you some.

Damon: I don't eat that.

Fine…you're not getting my blood.

Damon: …Thanks.

O.O…THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!

Damon: Shut UP!

What are you thanking me for any ways?

Damon: I…I don't like being alone.

Stupid. You have a whole bunch of fan girls and you have Bonnie, Elena, and Katherine.

Damon: Right. *Soft chuckle* But if you tell anyone this I will kill you, your mom, your dad, your brothers and your sisters!

Fine! So mean!

Tara: I had fun.

Stefan: Same here.

How was your guys night?

Tara: Stefan beat up someone!

Stefan: *Rubs the back of his head* Yeah.

MinaFTW: Yeah…I've been waiting for a long time.

Damon: …Okay.

Mina: Hey, first off I have to make an important public announcement: Chi is an awesome writer, and FU flamers. Okay I'm done.

*Laughs* Thank you so much.

Mina: No prob. Hey Bonnie, hey Damon, how are my favorite couple doing?

Bonnie: Nothing.

Damon: Nothing but screwing Alice.

Bonnie: I was under a spell!

Damon: …Right.

Mina: Oh Bon-Bon, I got the pregnancy test from yesterday, and it came out positive, so congratulations Damon, you're going to be a Daddy.

Bonnie: Wait what! It was one time.

Damon: It only takes once.

Bonnie: She cursed me!

Have fun with the baby.

Damon: You were up to this too?

*Evil smirk* It's fun being evil even if it's for a little bit.

Mina: To Stefan *hugs him* Hey there best friend how are you? *hands him a mountain lion*

Stefan: I'm great right now.

Tara: *Laughs*

Mina: Hugs everyone in the room except Bob, Edward, and Elena.

Elena: I didn't even want your hugs!

Mina: Shut up.

FutureActressKS: I actually liked Soul, but not as much as I love Chi. I love this story. When I read it on my phone, everyone wonders what I'm laughing at.

He'll be happy to hear about it.

FutureActress: Gir waffles just for you! *hands him a gun* I say it would be so much fun if you shot Edward. I'll give you more waffles! And better! Syrup, too!

Gir: *Takes Zero's gun and shoot Edward* I like waffles!

….

FutureActress: Eric You can't have Damon!

Eric: You can't have him either. Bonnie's having his baby.

Bonnie: NO…THE FUCK…I'M NOT!

This is so funny.

FutureActress: Damon you are THE sexy beast!

Damon: I know.

FutureActress: Bob I swear I will kill you if I find you trying to steal my soul again!

Bob: I watch you sleeping…you snore a lot.

…Bob!

Bob: Want me to lie?

*Door slams open*

Sam: *Walks through smelling like Smoke*

Castiel: *Dresses like Madonna with messed up makeup*

How was the date?

Sam: I want to be by myself.

Castiel: Same here.

You screw someone else life up Damon.

Damon: That's what I'm good at.

This is the end of the…*Gets pushed to the side*

Darla* This is the end of the show! I will be the main character for now on.

Damon: No your not.

Darla: Yes I am.

Damon: No your not.

Darla: *Kicks him in the leg* YES I AM!

Damon: *Rolls on the floor* You…bitch.

Darla: *Twitch* What did you say! *Body slam!*

…Um…okay? I want to thank tootoughtummy, Breakfastclub85, Vampirewithasecret, BroadwayAngelLyric, xXspoiiledheartXx, TwilightRocks, BeatrixMayfeir, Rogue Assasin, MinaFTW, FutureActressKS, and RainbowKitty13 for reviews and questions. If anyone wants to know why Darla is so wild in this chapter it because the real Darla is next to me. Yes, she is nuttier than a fruit cake.

Darla: You want to fight?

…No.

Darla: Good. I'll wipe the floor with ya!

Please save me.

Katherine: Your own your own.

*Sighs* Well good night people. Please check out TheRealDarlaCooper to see her stories and if you want to use Darla as a character just ask her. Have fun guys! Peace!

Tara: Love!

Darla: And don't mess with the master!

…Bye guys!


	60. A cranky Bonnie

Shows they can't do Together

Sailor Moon?

Vixen: I'm here to steal all the life force in the world! MUHAHAHAHA!

Damon: Stop right there!

Stefan: …

Vixen: Who the hell?

Damon: MOON PRISIM POWER! *Transform*

Stefan: …Wait why I'm transforming too.

Alice: *Holds up a camera* Too good to miss.

Damon: I am Sailor Moon and in the name of the moon I will punish you! *Does the moon stance*

Serena: HEY! THAT'S MY LINE!

Stefan: *Holds down skirt* Where is Damon and what have you done with him?

Damon: I did this shit on a dare.

Serena: How did you get my prisim!

Damon: *Digs in his ears* I stole it.

Serena: HOW CAN YOU BE A HERO IF YOU'RE STEALING THINGS!

Damon: STOP BITCHING!

*Damon and Serena go back and forth*

Vixen: Um…I'm right here.

Damon & Serena: *Turns towards her and screams* STAY OUT OF IT!

Stefan: *Sighs before walking towards Vixen and karate chops her in the head and says borely* Yay. Now get me out of this pedophile attracter! *Tries to pull it off but it rips*

Damon & Serena: …

Stefan: *Runs away*

Tara: *Laughs* Are you serious?

Stefan: *Sighs* Yes.

Tara: *Playfully punches Stefan in the arm* I wish I got to see that.

Alice: *Pulls out a dvd* I have copied!

Stefan: …

Sookie: So we have someone new?

I guess so. And your name is?

…: You suck. What are you, twelve?

…*Twitch* I'm nineteen.

…: I couldn't tell.

Y-you're so mean!

…: Where's that pussy Damon!

Damon: Yo Chi help me…You son of a bitch!

Raven: Hi pussy.

Damon: Evil midget!

Raven: *Laughs* Isn't this show crappier than the title.

…What did you want help with Damon?

Damon: Kicking this bastard's ass!

Raven: *Gets into a fighting stance* Bring it!

Eric: *Grabs Raven by the collar and throws him to the couch* Annoying.

Bonnie: …*Sits in a corner* I know that's how my kids are going to act like that.

Alice: *Laughs*

Jasper: Let's get this show started!

Vamp123: Oooh Damon Bonnie's gonna be your Baby Mama!

Damon: *Points to the fan girls* They did it!

Bonnie: They cursed me.

Mina: It's not a curse.

Bonnie: …You're not the one carrying his babies. I threw up a lot today.

Damon: That's what you get.

Vamp123: Edward Cullen is an APPLE RAPIST/SPARKLE-FAIRY ... The front of the twilight book proves this *looks at Edward* SHAME, SHAME!

Edward: I do not rape apples.

Raven: He goes after girls that are mental.

Edward: Shut up.

xXspoiiledheartXx: Katherine- is tht the best yu got *rolls eyes* Bob is scarier

Katherine: Your face is scarier. Do you even think I care about what you do or say? I'm a vampire, nuff said.

Spoiiled: You really don't want to make me you enemy.

Katherine: Fuck you.

Spoiiled: Alright. I warned you. *Evil smirk*

Katherine: *Rolls eyes*

Spoiiled: Damon- yu should have said tht in the beginning 

Damon: Thought you knew.

Spoiiled: Stefan- good point here's a bunny *gives Stefan a bunny*

Stefan: Thanks.

Tara: He's cute.

Stefan: What should I call him?

Tara: Um…Don't know.

Stefan: Just tell me, okay.

Tara: *Smiles* Sure.

Spoiiled: Edward- die no one wants yur sparkly pedophile ass 

Edward: You want me honey. I'm everything you dream of. *Lifts up shirt* You want this six pack of sparkly goodness.

Spoiiled: *Gags*

Edward: Don't hate.

Spoiiled: *Rolls eyes* Chi- wat r yur favorite animes 

Um…Case Closed, Soul Eater, Higurashi, Gokusen, DBZ, Cowboy Bebop, Full metal Alchemist *Including Brotherhood*, Runroni Kenshin, there some many more but those come off the top of my head.

BeatrixMayfeir: Hi Chi! I want a date with you too! We can go see Vampires Suck and I'll buy you a big chocolate ice cream! 

*Jumps up and down* YES! When you want to go!

Raven: You're such a kid.

Hey! I didn't have much of a childhood, I was playing super mom for five kids that aren't even mine. *Stick tongue out*

Raven: Ooohhh. I hate sobs stories. So gay.

*Rolls eyes*

Beatrix: Damon Bonnie oh my god you'll be parents soon! I'm so happy for you both! Alice and I have bought a lot of little dresses but nothing blue or pink since we don't know if the baby is a boy or a girl! Have you started to think about the name yet? 

Damon: Little bastards.

Bonnie: You're not coming near them!

What happened to the love!

Bonnie: IT WENT IN THE TOILET!

Scary.

Beatrix: Mommy to be gets crappy very easily.

Bonnie: Leave me alone: *Twitch*

Poor Bonnie.

Elena: That should have been me!

Alice: Thought you were with Stefan.

Elena: *Points a Stefan*

Stefan: *Smiles softly* We should go out some more.

Tara: Name the time and place.

Beatrix: Stefan you will be an uncle! How do you feel about it? And do you want a child of yours and with who? Don't say Elena! We don't want another Nessie!

Stefan: Yeah I want kids, later. But it depends on the woman I want to be carrying my kids.

Tara: I'm too fucked up to bare kids.

Stefan: Who isn't fucked up on this show?

What's a Nessie?

Stefan & Tara: *Shrugs*

Beatrix: Hey Tootoughtummy you're so right about Sam! That bastard choose a demon over Dean and now pretends to be with him! Do you want to help me punish him? 

Sam: I'm not pretending to be with him. I am!

Beatrix: DON'T SPEAK UNLESS YOU'RE SPOKEN TOO!

Sam: …

Beatrix: Good. Oh my god Cas! Are you ok? What the hell happened to you on that date? Come here I'll make you feel better*smile*! 

Castiel: I don't want my date to be hairier the big foot and chase me around the restaurant while Sam's date chases me with a flamethrower, screaming that I'm the anti Christ. Worst…day…ever.

Sorry.

Castiel: It wasn't your fault. *Glares at Damon*

Damon: Not going to work dude.

BreakfastClub85: *Waves* Hi guys!

Hey.

Breakfast: Dean *dressed in a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader* Babe, I'll be your cheerleader any day! *winks seductively*

Dean: *Smirks* Yes!

Breakfast: Katherine, you may not be my favorite, but I have to give you props for doing that to Jonathan. He was a major douche. 

Katherine: Thank you for appreciating my work. *Glares at me*

What?

Katherine: When will you die!

…I don't want to die.

Katherine: Watch your back you little bitch.

…W-hat brought this on?

Katherine: Just looking at your face.

….

Breakfast: Cas hmmmmm... now be... Cyndi Lauper and sing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!

Castiel: …I hate you. *Walks to the backroom*

We'll have to give him a sec.

Breakfast: No probs. Elena you may have a lot of haters, but I still think you're awesome!

Elena: *Hugs Breakfast and cries* You are too awesome!

Breakfast: Edward, I'm not even going to waste any time on your sparkly ass today.

Edward: Yeah. You better run trick. *Sticks tongue out*

Breakfast: Gir here's a waffle maker! *Hands it to him*

Gir: *Takes it, screams and runs around the room* WAFFLES!

Breakfast: …

You made his day. *Nervous laugh*

Breakfast: Sam Bitch, I will still fight you and you will regret ever bringing up the idea. 

Sam: I was kidding!

Castiel: *Walks out and starts sing* I wake in the middle of the night, my mother said what your gonna do with your life, oh mommy dear you know your still number one but girls they want to have fun…*Twitch* Girls they want to have fun.

Tootoughtummy: Yay! I feel betters! Thanks Alice!

Alice: If your sick, call me anytime!

Tootough: Sammy? How was your date?

Sam: *Twitch* It was horrible!

Tootough: Anyways. Dean has a cheerleader Damon has several but you know who really needs one? EDWARD! NOT! I joke. Stephan needs one so...*Changes in a cheerleading outfit* Oh! Stephan, Stephan he's our guy if he can't do it Damon can! Gooo Stephan! Yay!

Stefan: Thanks. I think.

Edward: I want girls in short skirts too!

Tootough: Doubt you ever get it. Weirdo.

Edward: Stop hating!

Tootough: Cas, I change my mind. You can have Dean. Sam like demon bitches. 

Sam: …True.

Tootough: Elena, you deserve a non poison cookie for being awesome. Bonnie, have fun carrying Damon's baby.

Elena: Thanks. *Takes the cookie*

Bonnie: It's not fun!

Tootough: Oh and Bob you don't get enough love. Here's my brother's soul. He's not using it. Hope you have a good day. *pats him on the head*

Bob: *Smiles before revealing three rows of razor shape teeth* FEED ME!

Tootough: *Throws the soul at him*

Bob: *Jumps up and eats it*

…Ew.

Tootough: Edward, fall off a cliff. Oh and Katherine how are you going to burn me if you have stumps for hands? So choke on that! Skank!

Edward: That's the best you can do?

Katherine: I'm watching you. Just you wait.

Tootough: And one more thing. Of course Beatrix. It's time he pays! Be prepared for a world of hurt Sam Winchester!

Sam: …

Heart-Broken-In-Love: Hey guys!

It's been a long time.

Heart-Broken: Just here for a sec.

Okay.

Heart-Broken: *Looks at Rouge* Fuck off *Uses demon powers on Rouge until she explodes* Like you did to Satan. *Uses demon powers to make Satan to go back to his regular self*

Rogue: Aw. You missed me.

Heart-Broken: …I give up.

Rogue: *Purrs* Really?

Heart-Broken: Fuck that. Wait till I come back! I'll find something to defeat your ass.

Rogue: You know you want me.

Heart-Broken: *Shivers* I'm beyond disgusted.

Rogue: *Laughs*

Heart-Broken: *Walks away*

Rogue: I love you!

Heart-Broken: BURN IN HELL!

Rogue: *Laughs* She wants me. *Rogue holds out red Popsicle for Damon*

Damon: What is that?

Rogue: An apology - it's an ice lolly I made with Elena's blood, I'm sorry for leaving you alone yesterday - I was just showing you what happens when you break promises.

Elena: Why my blood?

Damon: I agree to protect him but not be nice to him

Rogue: When did I say be nice to him? *Rogue throws ninja stars at Stefan then flashes boobs at him*

Stefan: *Pulls out a ninja star out of his forehead* …

Rogue: Well Damon dressed Bon-Bon guess it's my turn now... *Rogue snaps fingers and Bonnie is dressed in hot shorts, a wonder bra and cat ears*

Bonnie: *Twitch*

Rogue: Guy's we're going to have to dress Bonnie in tight revealing clothes while we can - she's going to be huge soon - I have a feeling it's twins - Chi you should so have a competition for the best Bamon baby names - winner gets to host the show for one episode.

Sure! Why not?

Rogue: Oh Darla honey - I have a vibrator with your name on it - come here! Don't worry HB yours is in my other pocket 

Darla: I'm ready for you this time!

Rogue: Sure why not. *Smirks*

Darla: *Throws stakes at her*

Rogue: *Dodges them and throws ninja stars at her*

Darla: *Dodges then runs away*

Rogue: …Really?

I think she's plotting.

Rogue: Little weirdo. *Rogue makes out with Pam*

Seth: Whoa. *Smiles*

Rogue: Eric we can't have a cheerleader squad with just me so... *Rogue snaps fingers and Sookie and Pam are dressed in matching red leather cheerleader outfits*

Rogue, Pam, & Sookie: Goooooooooo Eric we love you! *Sookie, Pam and Rogue get on their knees for Eric, curtain falls saying R18) *Curtain lifts and Sookie crawls out, Rogue limps and Eric and Pam are still screwing too fast for the human eye to see* 

Seth: I am a happy man.

Jacob: Same here. *Drools*

Rogue: Well - I think I need hip replacement... Chi help me - I feel like my uterus is going to fall out.

What can I do! What can I do!

Rogue: *Laughs* Don't have a panic attack.

Oh.

Rogue: Seeing as Sam and Castiel's blind dates didn't work out I have decided to set them up with people they already know - it's a dare - you have to do it or I'll cut off your balls and hang it on my xmas tree. Cas your blind date it Ruby and Sam yours is Lilith have fuck sorry meant fun... 

Castiel: So cruel.

Sam: …

Rogue: Sooooooo Damon what collection of Stefan's were you going to show...

Stefan: It was nothing.

Damon: Fine. It starts with an H and M. Guess it and I'll give you a cookie.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Rogue: Alice do you really like Bella - she's a brain dead retard - couldn't Edward be gay and fuck Mike or something.

Alice: She alright when your really, really, really bored. The things she does is entertaining. I wanted her to die but you can't always have what you wish for.

Edward: I'M NOT GAY!

Rouge: Oh Bob... come here you cutey. Hard to admit but... Bob grows on you *Rogue pets Bob the bunny and gives him a carrot* 

Bob: *Smiles* I love, the love.

Rogue: Edward you sick pedo bastard! *Rogue uses broom to shove bomb up Edwards but then blows him up* It's raining glitter hallelujah it's raining glitter amen!

Stefan & Tara: Ew. *Holds up an umbrella*

Rogue: Hey Beatrix *Rogue gives Beatrix a little tongue and gropes her*

Seth: *Faints* I-it too much!

His little heart is on overload.

Rogue: How about we send Elena bungee jumping off Victoria falls without a bungee cord or we could use her to practice magic tricks - put her in a basket and poke holes through... what do you think *Rogue throws a hammer at Elena's head* 

Elena: *Dodges* HEY!

Rogue: There are a lot of Bamon fans - I find Delena fans somewhat annoying - my best bud is one of them - one of these days I'm going to staple her mouth closed and cut off her fingers... BTW Bamon Lovin is now going to be a multi chaptered fic - the name has been changed to Dancing with Darkness :) 

Yay!

Rogue: Katherine don't be jealous cause you're as flat as an ironing board and have no ass - you look like a weird little boy with long hair and I have a pick vibrator with your name on it - I'll introduce you to it when I rape you 

Katherine: Knowing you, you would still fuck me. *Pulls up shirt*

Jacob: *Pass out*

Rogue: Darla don't be jealous of my boobs *Rogue chases Darla with a strap on*

Darla: *Runs* I don't want big moo cow boobs!

Rogue: *Laughs*

…

Damon: *Shakes head*

Rogue: So Bon how does it feel to have two little lives growing in you? They're going to be LEGENDARY. Katherine stay the fuck away from Bonnie and her babies! Damon how does it feel to be a Dad? 

Bonnie: …*Growls*

Katherine: You can't do shit!

Damon: …

Rogue & Me: What are you doing?

Damon: *Damon stands outside room signing a delivery note*

Damon what's in the box?

Damon: Nothing

*Eric breaks box and stuffed toys and baby stuff falls out*

Everyone: O_O

Damon: It's for the babies - Stefan picked them I just paid for them!

Stefan: Tara helped.

Tara: You can't trust a man with these things.

Rogue: Raping them is a victory for me - who would want to fight someone whose going to feel them up and do dirty, dirty, DIRTY things to them?

Darla: YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

Her.

Rogue: *Rogue hands Chi a big chocolate Santa* Sorry for breaking shit in here.

No problem at least you care.

Damon: Still doesn't work on me.

Rouge: Alice and Kat - fight NOW! I get to be ref (and feel them both up) 

Alice: *Tackles Katherine*

Everyone: O.o Whoa!

Rogue: Didn't think fairies got that mad.

Alice: *Rip Katherine's shirt*

Katherine: *Rips Alice's shirt*

*Starts melting* So hot! *Smiles*

Rogue: So Bonnie and Alice how was you back room session yesterday?

Bonnie: It was good.

Alice: *Slams Katherine's head to the ground*

O.O.

Rogue: Sookie how was your session with Eric yesterday? Eric when are you going to make Kat call you master?

Sookie: It was…GREAT!

Eric: *Smirk* Soon.

Rogue: Jacob and Seth how was it being Kats bitch boys? 

Jacob: Fun.

Seth: …She sucks.

Rogue: Tara I'm glad you enjoyed dinner with Stef - who did he beat up? 

Tara: These so call bikers that were messing with me. Stefan kicked ass!

Stefan: *Blushes*

Rogue: Aw. Louis did Lestat give you any or just sit and cry about Stefan? 

Louis: Just cried about Stefan. Which sucked. What's so special about him?

Rogue: Elena you dirty girl - dry humping Edward... you look like a disco ball now... 

Elena: It was a moment of weakness!

Edward: I couldn't tell.

Elena: *Gags*

Rogue: Chi, Pam and me had an awesome time, we ran into George Clooney, Richard Gere and John Cena it was all awesome till Captain Jack puked in some Kristen Stewarts hair... 

Jack: Kesha did too! Very hot I might add.

Rogue: So Chi you think I'm scary in a sexy way... Come let me show you how sexy and scary I can be 

*Smirks*

Rogue: *Rogue gets flung back and is chained to a post* What's going on... Pam?

Pam: No more talking - I want you screaming my name NOW! *Pam drags post to back room* 

Stefan: WHAT ABOUT ME!

Pam: Too slow.

Hour later.

Rogue: When I said raping them is a victory for me - I meant HB, Darla, Katherine and the likes - not the Bamon babies!

Bonnie: Okay.

Rogue: Still a little sore from Pam - Stefan gimme blood so I can get better. Wait where's wolverine? I want to steal his power to heal!

Yeah, where is he? Don't tell me…

Stefan: He said that he had to go kill people who messed up his bike.

Oh.

LeLelurvsGlee: Wow your almost at 60. chi your a great writer. This is my fave story.

Thanks.

LeLe: So moving on did anyone watch camp rock 2?

I know I didn't. No cable.

LeLe: And guess what. Only five days till season two of vampire diaries. Elena you looked purty in your poster. Katherine even though you two look the same you looked like shit in yours.

Katherine: And I bet you look like shit everyday.

LeLe: You're a bitch and I hope you burn in hell.

Katherine: Bring it…

LeLe: *Holds up a stake and stabs her in the chest and forehead* Bitch.

Katherine: *Twitch*

LeLe: So Stefan i came up with a solution to the problem of lyric making you pay to get in the back room. How about we make another door therefore there will be two and i can control one.

Stefan: Awesome!

LeLe: Sam go to hell.

Sam: *Twitch*

LeLe: Damon and Katherine guess what. *stakes them both repeatedly* ooh i wanna join the kill Edward group.

Damon: Evil brat!

Raven: DO IT AGAIN!

LeLe: Zero lets shoot up Edweird. Damon how could you sleep with Katherine in the season two promo. Bamon is forever. Damon did you know that Bonnie talks in her sleep? She talks about you alot. And not in a bad way.

Damon: We're not married.

Bonnie: Thank god for that. *Rolls eyes*

Damon: What does she say?

LeLe: Well…

Bonnie: No!

LeLe: *Laughs*

FutureActressKS: To Gir I'm bored! What should we do now?

Gir: DANCE PARTY!

*Disco music plays*

*Dances* Haha.

FutureActress: To Elena you are still super cool in my opinion! *hugs*

Elena: *Hugs back* Thanks. I'm a little high headed though.

FutureActress: Edward I would still hate you if you were the last man on Earth. Edwierdo! No wonder Bella dumped you!

Edward: You seem really lonely.

FutureActress: *Rolls eyes* Bonnie you know you love Damon! Bamon babies would be epic!

Bonnie: You want to take my place?

FutureActress: everyone any ideas on how I should torture Eddie?

Stefan: Use sand paper to tear off his skin.

Damon: Burn him at the stake and stab him. Just keep stabbing him.

I not good with this stuff.

Eric: Let Pam handle it.

Pam: *Cracks her knuckles*

Edward: *Runs away*

FutureActress: Damon you're my favorite!

Damon: I'm awesome.

FutureActress: Stefan but I like you too! *hugs and hands him a baby bunny*

Stefan: *Takes the bunny and hands it to Tara*

Tara: She cute.

FutureActress: Bob GO AWAY! I mean everyday now you annoy the heck out of me! I could so beat you in a fight!

Bob: BRING IT!

FutureActress: Jack *hands him huge bottle of rum*

Jack: Thanks. *Opens it and drinks it*

FutureActress: Katherine, hate your guts! *tackles Damon into a hug* I'm a freak. I know! But normal is so...boring!

Katherine: Jump off a bridge.

Damon: Normal sucks.

FutureActress: Edward I could always put you back into that pool of sharks...don't worry I'll find some way to torture you. Unless anyone wants to help me out?

Zero: I'll help out! I hate that bastard and all vamps!

FutureActress: But aren't you…

Zero: Don't want to talk about it.

FutureActress: Gir here are waffles and syrup from me! Because I love you. I say we should come up with a plan to kill Edward instead of you helping Zim destroy the world. We could have so much fun together!

Gir: YAY!

FutureActress: Chi you are the best! Anyone that flames this story is missing out on a good thing.

Thanks. I'm really happy to hear that.

FutureActress: *drags Damon to backroom*

Bonnie:*Twitches*

An hour later.

FutureActress: Chi you should totally bring Zim on here!

That would be cool.

FutureActress: Edward: looks like your fans couldn't help you win the EW sexy beast poll. *sets hair on fire* couldn't go without doing something to you!

Edward: *Screams*

BroadwayAngelLyric: Hi, guys. Um, Chi, can we put someone for Jack on this show? He needs something besides booze for once. I propose Ke$ha since they hit it off so well. And Jack I'm restocking your bar again.

Jack: I get to see Kesha again? YES!

Broadway: Damon, you being skullfucked is not okay in my book but I don't like you having to watch out for Stefan so don't help until the last second. Like if Lestat kisses him, stay put but if he tries to fuck him, then you can step in.

Stefan: Should I do the same thing if Eric trys anything?

Damon: The fuck you won't.

Broadway: Elena, I like Katherine more, sorry. She's just better and way more badass.

Elena: I don't care. *Pouts*

Katherine: *Kicks Elena*

…

Broadway: Stefan, you're starting to whine a lot. "Oh, Katherine killed my bunnies" "Oh, Lyric always picks on me and not Damon" "Oh, Edward gave me herpes" Man the fuck up. Edward, go sit your ass down somewhere. I did the horizontal mambo between the sheets with Carlisle. Tell Esme I said that.

Stefan: I can complain all I want to. Why don't you worry about yourself.

Edward: H-HOW DARE YOU!

Broadway: *Laughs evilly* Bob, you fucked my mom, I fucked your dad. We're even. I watch you pee too, you stupid little fucker now sit your ass down. 

Bob: Wait a minute…he's alive?

Ew.

Broadway: Chi, I want a handicap match, me vs Eddie, Stefan, and Bob. Eric, I think that if Bill comes on, me, you, and Pam should triple team him. And Sookie, if you try to help him, you will be restrained. 

Sure. I'll work on it.

Sookie: I'm mad at him so go on right ahead.

Broadway: BTW Damon, you have 2 more wishes left.

I'm saving them.

Broadway: Zero, we just got a new shipment of bombs in at the store. Take what you need. Damon, if you need ammo go get some. BTW Zero do you wanna work here? I'll let you select the guns.

Zero: Hell yeah!

Broadway: Darla, you're crazy so you die. *bombs Darla* *smiles devilishly*

Darla: Yeah right. Like a bomb can kill me!

Broadway: … Heart-Broken, no offense but Rogue is like immortal even if you have Darla on your side, she's still gonna rape. Just like Damon or no Damon, Lestat is still gonna get Stefan.

Eric: And like Stefan or no Stefan Damon's ass is mine.

Broadway: … Time for me to go peeps, byeeeee.

Bye!

Broadway: Wait a second. LeLe, stupid bitch *beats the holy shit out of LeLe before closing second entrance of backroom forever before leaving again*

O.O…What just happened?

Damon: Sisterly love, I guess.

TwilightRocks: Chi hi! I'm so bored

Lol. What you want to do?

Twilight: All, bet none of ya can guess how old I am I'll give u a hint I'm in my teens.

Sixteen.

Damon: 13.

Stefan: 15.

Tara: 19.

Eric: *Shrugs*

Louis: 14.

Sookie: 17.

Zero: 18!

Lestat: All the teens are tooken. 25!

Twilight: All the guys on show watch I can do a split* does full split*

Seth: Best…day…ever…

Twilight: Damon * dressed up as cop with very short dress* I'll do whatever you want me to do for the next five chapters(after this one)

Damon: Good.

Twilight: Can u sing the doom song. Please!

Gir: Doom, doom, doomy, doom!

Twilight: Dean so did your dad ever find out about u and Sam?

Dean: Nope.

Twilight: Eric *whispers something in ear**Damon becomes human and is tied to a bed* enjoy!

Damon: What!

Twilight: Damon your human you can't be changed by anyone but me chi and Eric and no potions or anything else can change you back to a vampire.

Damon: Chi!

*Whistles*

Twilight: Elena I'm your fangirl!

Elena: Thanks!

Twilight: Katherine please mentor me in the way of controlling the Salvatore brothers!

Katherine: Sure. I'm a good teacher.

Vie: Chi, I'm so glad you're back! How was your vacay? I see you took Tara with you, COOL! So was Jasper with you guys, he was MIA along with the both of yous. BTW, the Angel bit was nice but where was Spike and Gunn? It's not an Angel spoof without the whole gang, come on now ;)

It was good and the Angel thing was quick I know but I was rushing. So I'll do another one just for you.

Vie: For the record, that fight between Eric and Damon was hella long! But, Damon and his fangirls kicked Major Ass! Sorry Eric; I couldn't have you win...you understand right?...Eric?...you understand, RIGHT? **whispers in Eric's ear, he blushes and his fangs come out**

Eric: …

Vie: Oh and Dean, here are some cheerleaders with really BIG BOUNCY DOUBLE D's, cheering your name: "Who are you yelling for? D! E! A! N! Stand up and yell once more! D! E! A! N! Louder Now, Let's Hear It For! D! E! A! N! You've seen our cheer, It can't Be Beat, Now watch us Dance, It's Really Neat! **all the cheerleaders are booty shaking on Dean** *Vie took Dean in the back for a private cheerleading show-will be back in 3 hours* 

Wow.

Vie: Mina, Rogue and Vie are doing the Dougie because Damon's fan girls are the FREAKIN BOMB! *Vie hugs Rogue* Stefan is too tame for Bons but do you think he would hit it off with Tara? Caroline's okay and all but Stefan needs a FIREBALL! I also want to say that I am a Stefan fan too (he doesn't seem to have enough fan base). Oh and Bonnie, you want to be sandwiched between Dean and Damon, huh..I like your style. I like you and you're my girl and all but I got first dibs on those two or did you all forget my "backwards oreo cookie fantasy" ((sighs))

Bonnie: Can I add Eric too. He's too hot.

Pam: true.

Vie: Chi, could you bring Ian back on...PLEASE, I can never get enough of that eye candy! We also need a show-off between Jacob and Edward-I'm Team Jacob,FTW BTW.

Is there any Team Edward fans on here?

Edward: Their closet cases.

Vie: Question: What's your favorite hip hop song? (I know all of you have one, you're just closet hip hoppers, lol).

How low.

Damon: Big butts.

…

Damon: What?

Stefan: Get back.

Pam: Shake your ass.

Eric: Have none.

Edward: Don't listen to that type.

Tara: There's too many.

Sookie: I don't know what to choose.

Vie: Mina, what's going on, Holla at your girl! And why is Bons playing all hard to get when Damon's concerned? She better not be scared of Katherine's ass or Elena's ass. GO after him Bonnie...we got your back! Oh and Mina, I won't be surprised if Bonnie is already preggers and Bonnie it's not a CURSE..stop denying the INEVITABLE. BTW, what is really going on between Bons and Kat..Bonnie what do you know?

Bonnie: I've been puking for a long time. Of course I'm going to think it's a curse and I don't know what's happing between Katherine and me yet. I don't like Damon!

Damon: Stop lying to yourself!

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes* whatever.

Vie: And Alice, I double dog dare Bonnie into reading some of her Diary.

Alice: Oh, Damon has nice eyes, soft hair and a bod to die for a part of me wants to kill him and the other wants to fuck him.

Bonnie: …

It wasn't that bad!

Bonnie: Says you!

Vie: Bob, that's just nasty you choosing my mom. You need to change your answer...NOW! **Vie's eyes turn purple and her hair turns white, she grabs Bob by the nuts and pulls them up and thru his body until they come out of his mouth. She then spoon feeds SATAN Bob's bloody nuts...Vie transforms back to herself and is EXTREMELY HAPPY! **Everyone looks at Vie like she's crazy and she looks back** Vie: What?...stop looking at me like that...Never mess with a woman whose on her period! STOP CORRUPTING ME! **Vie runs out screaming**

O.O…what just happened?

Jasper: Who knows but the show is over.

I want to thank Vamp123, xXspoiiledheartXx, BeatrixMayfeir, Breakfastclub85, Tootoughtummy, Heart-Broken-In-Love, FutureActressKS, Rogue Assasin, LeLelurvsGlee, BroadwayAngelLyric, Twilight Rocks, and Vie for reviews. Peace.

Stefan: Love.

Raven: And a kick to the nuts. *Kicks Damon*

Damon: OW! YOU LITTLE….

Raven: *Runs around*

Damon; *Chases him*

*Blows a kiss* Bye guys!


	61. Bad day!

Shows they can't do together!

Poor Dean…

Stefan: *Holding Dean back*

Dean: STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY CAR!

Damon: *Swings the key ring on his finger and sticks a tongue out* A deals a deal.

If you just started reading on this chapter then you must get a recap. A few chapters ago Dean and Damon made a deal to see who was the hottest between the two. Damon won.

Elena: Not that surprising.

Dean: THAT BASTARD CHEATED!

Damon: Come ride with me Stefan.

Stefan: …No.

Damon: *Twitch* I'm trying to be nice.

Stefan: *Narrows eyes* For what reason?

Damon: *Chuckles* Brother bonding.

Stefan: You're plotting my death aren't you?

Damon: Aren't you a little bit curious?

Stefan: …Maybe.

Bonnie: ….

Tara: …Just don't kill him.

Elena: *Glares at Tara*

Tara: You got a fucking problem? Say it to my face!

Elena: *Looks away*

Katherine: You're a bitch.

Tara: Coming from the queen's mouth.

Katherine: Why thank you.

Raven: You seem bitcher than Damon.

Damon: Little bastard.

Raven: I mean really, what do women see in you? To me you look like all those bad guys who have a heart of gold and is waiting from some girl to free them from there pain. Stop being a bitch.

Damon: Shut up.

Raven: Don't hate on the truth.

Damon: Just die.

Raven: You'll come with me.

I swear they act like each other.

Bonnie: *Twitches* Two!

*Cough*Three*Cough*

Bonnie: What?

Alice: It's nothing. *Pats my head*

Damon: You coming or what slow poke?

Stefan: …Fine but…

Damon: Don't give me empty threats. *Walks over to Dean's car and opens the door*

Stefan: *Walks to the other side of the car and opens the door* I don't trust you.

Damon: I wouldn't.

Bob: *Hops* We should blow up the car while we still can.

Zero: ….*Holding a bazooka* Sure.

Dean: YOU BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU! *Chases Zero*

Sam: *Twitch* Why am I wearing a school girl outfit?

…Let me just have my fun before they kill you.

Sam: …Wait. What?

Pam: Lots of fun huh?

Eric: Better than being in the sun. *Looks bored*

Damon: *Starts the car up and laughs* Let's start the fun.

Stefan: O.o What did I get myself into?

Damon: *Steps on the gas petal and speeds off*

Edward: I can go faster than that.

Katherine: Oh, yeah. What was it like to be Bella's personal car.

Edward: …Bitch.

Katherine: Oh the love! *Rolls eyes*

Bonnie: Hey Chi are you and Damon…

Huh? *Smiles*

Bonnie: Nothing.

Alice: *Smirks* Sneaky Bonnie.

Sookie: Creepy smirk.

Tara: Always a bad sign.

Sookie: So true.

*Clueless to the situation* What? *Looks around*

Alice: I'll tell you later.

Okay…LeLe are you alright?

LeLe: *Armed with metal baseball bat and smiles* im staying here until lyric gets here. I will beat the shit out of her…

O.O. Where's the sister love?

LeLe: WHERE'S THAT BITCH AT!

…You sure Tilisha isn't on here?

Alice: She would flip out on Damon.

Yeah. Miss. Gangster Princess would. She never liked vampires. I guess I'm the geeky one in the family.

Alice: True but a cute one.

*Blush* Thanks.

LeLe: … *Opens a new door for the backroom and uses powers to ensure it can't be closed at all*

What is she going to do?

LeLe: Bash her head in! *Turns to Katherine* Damon and Katherine its time for you guys to be staked again*pulls out stakes*

Damon's on a joy ride with Stefan.

LeLe: Katherine will do…for now.

Katherine: I…wish…you…would!

LeLe: Edward *chops his head off and burns his body parts* twilight is shit.

Bonnie: …

Tara: …Seen worst.

Sookie: Yep.

LeLe: Jacob and Seth you are underappreciated. So lets go get wasted with Jack.

There underage!

LeLe: No one complains about you.

…Carry on then.

Alice: Really?

I like fruity stuff. *Shrugs*

LeLe: Elena you're not that bad now that i think about it. You can come get wasted with us too. Bonnie i would ask you to come but you can't.

Bonnie: I know. *Sighs* I really want one.

LeLe: Stefan I think you need some time away from your bunnies. Zero can you blow up Edward, Katherine, and Damon *smiles sweetly*. I'm going in the corner to wait for when lyric comes.

Zero: Good. I want to try new stuff on them.

LeLe: SUFFER BITCH SUFFER!

I like her.

*Car comes squealing in*

Damon: *Smirks then slams down on the break*

Stefan: *Flies forward and hits the wind shield*

Dean: O.O MY CAR!

Sam & Castiel: ….

WHAT DID YOU DO!

Damon: *Parks the car and laughs* Nothing.

His car in PINK AND GREEN!

Damon: *Tosses the keys to Dean* Nice car.

Dean: ….*Pulls out gun and starts shooting at Damon*

Damon: *Runs away*

Bonnie & Alice: That's what he gets.

Breakfastclub87: *Nods* We knew he wasn't going get away with it.

*Nods*

Breakfast: Stefan, holy chizz, do you have a Hannah Montana collection?

Stefan: …Fine I admit it…I collect Hannah Montana….heads.

Tara & Elena: Why?

Stefan: *Shrugs* I take the heads and shove them in a box. I think I'm doing all the little girls in the world a favor.

Elena: By taking the heads off?

Stefan: Keeps them from becoming her fans.

Zero: You just suck.

Stefan: Whatever.

Breakfast: Sam I have come to the conclusion that we can share Dean...for now. 

Sam: …

Breakfast: Take it or leave it.

Sam: …Fine.

Breakfast: Cas I love you too! Now be Lady Gaga and sing Love Games to Sam!

Castiel: Are you kidding me?

Breakfast: Nope!

Castiel: …*Walks to dressing room with a sigh*

Breakfast: Love you!

Castiel: *Growls*

Breakfast: Edward sticking your tongue out, really? That's so first grade. 

Edward: Like I care what you think.

Breakfast: Bonnie *Hugs* I am so sorry that you have to bear these children.

Bonnie: *Tears up* I'm happy someone cares about my feelings…*Glares at Mina*

Mina: *Evil laugh*

Breakfast: How long are you going to take Castiel!

Castiel: … You suck.

*Music starts playing*

Castiel: Let's have some fun this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco stick. Let's have some fun, this beat is sick, I wanna take a ride on your disco. *Pushes Sam to the wall then flips his head* Let's…*Slaps Sam and walks away*

….

Sam: O.o What just happened?

Breakfast: Me either dude. *Turns to Elena* Elena, so did you give it up to Stefan first or Matt? BTW, you should hook up with Tyler.

Elena: Stefan was my first.

Katherine: Pfft.

Elena: …I don't think me a Tyler would be good together.

Katherine: Vamp banger.

Elena: *Twitch* Like you can say anything!

Katherine: I don't care.

Breakfast: Stefan so are you just ditching Elena for Tara. Not cool dude. Not cool. 

Stefan: Okay, it me get this straight. Elena can kiss or even fuck my brother and that's okay but when I show interest in another girl, I'm being hung out to dry. Yeah. That's not cool.

Breakfast: Don't twist my words.

Stefan: That's how I see it.

Breakfast: Dean SUPER, SUPER LONG BACKROOM TIME!

Dean: I'm not happy. *Holds up a piece of his car*

Breakfast: I can make you happy! *Grabs Dean and drags him into the room*

Bonnie: *Sigh*

What's up?

Bonnie: Tell me, is there something between you and Damon?

Nope. He doesn't like me that way, I'm over it. So have fun!

Bonnie: That's not what I meant.

Alice & Me: ….

Hour later

Breakfast: Katherine I dare you and Bob to hook up.

Bob: *Looks at Katherine* She's to bitchy.

Breakfast: It's a dare.

Katherine: I'm not bound to the retard rules of this stupid show/story. You suck, so jump in lava. There.

Breakfast: Up your, you uppity bitch.

Katherine: Bye trick!

TwilightRocks: Chi you should bring the John Winchester on the show to hear about Dean and Sam's relationship. By the way Damon's guess was right I'm 13.

Sam: *Gulps*

*Smirks* Sure I'll bring him.

Dean: …

Twilight: Damon:*shows up in devil outfit and 7"in stilettos* k I'll do whatever you want. ( with the exception of changing you back to a vampire) for the next five chapters 

Damon: Why don't you change your name for one?

Shut up Damon, leave her user name alone!

Damon: Change it to Damon's Bitch. *Smirk*

Alice, Me, Bonnie, & Elena: Really?

Damon: Yep.

Twilight: Eric so want did you do while Damon was tied to the bed?

Damon: …

Eric: I had lots of fun. *Smirk*

Damon: Damn bastard! I still have my ass cherry!

Eric: I never realized that Stefan was so feisty.

Stefan: Just stay away from his ass. Okay.

Eric: I think I like you now.

Stefan: …Fuck.

Twilight: Gir *gives life supply of waffles with syrup* let's sing the doom song and have a dance party!

Gir: WAFFLES!

*Laughs*

Twilight: Chi Nessy is Bella and Edward's kid from breaking dawn.

THAT GREEN MONSTER IS THEIR KID!

Alice: *Slaps forehead* No Chi.

Oh.

Twilight: Chi ok I'm a secret Edward/twilight fan, please people don't hate me.

I wouldn't hate you. You like what you like. I like Twilight somewhat. I really like my version of Edward. *Blush* Yeah, that Edward was so hot.

Edward: *Twitch*

Pam: Who was your Edward?

The guy who played Johnny on General Hospital. With sparkles. *Dreamy sigh*

Bonnie: You know that guy is a mobster.

He's so hot.

Twilight: Seth *starts making out with him*

Katherine: What's good about him.

Twilight: Chi for baby names Elizabeth (Lizzy for short) for the girl and Gabriel for the guy. *starts randomly cheer and for dean in very small outfit**starts randomly doing gymnastics*

When did we get bars?

Alice: Who knows.

Tootoughtummy: I'm in the awesomest mood! I posted my first story and I got 55 hits! And I'm happy for you Chi cuz its THE 60TH Chapter! *Throws confetti* Since this is a happy occasion I shall do a few nice things!

Sam: …

Tootoughtummy: Katherine, I've seen the light. You're amazing. *Bows down* Please forgive me for my wrong doing Oh great one.

Katherine: Bout…damn…time.

Tootough: Jack, have a big box of rum. *Hands*

Jack: *Takes and laughs* BOOZE!

Tootough: Bob, how was my brother's soul?

Bob: A little soggy, but good.

Tootough: Seth I have Megan Fox in the back room for ya. Go have fun.

Seth: *Runs to the backroom*

Damon: Don't break her leg!

Bonnie: Pervert.

Damon: Dogs are just like that.

Tootough: Sam, I'm getting my tools ready so be ready. You aren't getting off easy. *Cuts off his arm* I'm taking this with me if you don't mind.

Dean, Castiel, & Me: O.O!

Sam: *Rolls around the floor screaming*

Tootough: I think I let him get away too easily.

Dean: That's easy!

Tootough: To me…yes. Edward, I've got a big surprise for you. Something nobody gives you. Ever. A hug! *Hugs*

Edward: *Smiles* Thanks.

Tootough: You never seem to get a lot...just playing! *Twists off his head and drop kicks it to the moon* Like I'd ever do anything nice for you bitch ass! Hahahahaha! 

Everyone: OOOOHHHH! O.O.

Tootough: Well I'm done. Anybody got bleach? I need to get his cooties off. Congrats again Charity!

T-T-Thanks!

Alice: Poor Eddie.

Rogue Assasin: If Bonnie is cranky now imagine what's going to happen when she gets bigger... Pregnant women get emotional and horny - Damon prepare to be ravished by the witchling 

Damon: I would believe you, if she just throw away that knife she has hidden under her sleeves.

Bonnie: I don't want to be touched right now!

Damon: Doesn't mean you stab people!

Bonnie: No, just up.

…

Rogue: Gosh Stef I hope you didn't mess up Wolverine's bike - those claws of his hurt unless you're Alice - she likes it rough *Rogue winks at Alice*

Alice: You know me so well.

Rogue: Seth and Jacob - if you can't take the heat go to the kiddies corner - by the way Jake I have a HUGE thing for your Dad - if he wasn't in that wheel chair I'd fuck Billy's brains out - there's just something soooooo HOT about older men! RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWR 

Jacob: *Looks around* What's stopping you?

Rogue: HB Honey you know you want me to make you scream my name *Rogue blows HB a kiss* 

Heart-Broken: *Twists her face in disgust* No.

Rogue: Coming back to Damon's statement about an M version of the show - I'd be happy to do it if Chi agrees to co write, I had a spoof fic called Twilight Debauchery with my best FanFic buddy Stregoni on but she got recruited to some rural area with no internet (she's a psychologist) and NING closed that site ... good times... 

*Blushes* I'm not good with that stuff.

Dean: *Opens a book* No Damon said as Eric ran his tongue against his….

Damon: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!

I-I was bored that day!

Alice: Dare you to post it.

Fine.

Damon: I didn't think you would do it!

*Presses fingers together* If I'm going to say sorry to Damon, I should say sorry to Stefan too.

Stefan: O.O…you didn't.

It's an Eric/Damon/Stefan fic.

Rogue: Dirty, dirty girl.

I know. But I'll help you. *Smiles*

Rogue: Good. Bonnie the twins are NOT a curse, and don't you dare keep Damon from them or we'll take custody - I'll be his Lawyer. 

Bonnie: You're a lawyer.

Rogue: *Smirks* I'm many things.

Bonnie: …

Rogue: Yes Eddie rapes mental girls' cause that's the only kind that would want him - RETARDS... Guys what are your opinions on Twilight Moms? They're worse than the Twi obsessed kids. 

I just like the undies…wait what?

Damon: You are stupid. *Flicks me on the head*

Why don't you check on Bonnie, Mister Dad?

Damon: You're so cute when you're mad.

…*Blushes* LEAVE ME ALONE!

Damon: One point for me. *Chuckles*

Aren't Mom or parents in general obsess a little more then kids? I can't even watch Naruto without my mom with me. It's like her soap opera or something.

Damon: They should drop Edward and come to me.

So they can be pregnant too?

Damon: I have a lot of love to go around.

Rogue: Sooooooo Bonnie why did you twitch when Damon and that Fangirl went at it... I smell jealousy in the air... Bonnie please don't harm the fangirls... they can't help it with Damon's HOTTNESS *Rogue rips open Damon's shirt and touches his 6-pack then gets struck by lightening.*

Bonnie: Mine! Hands off that goes for Rogue and any other Fangirl *Bonnie holds Damon possessively*

Rogue: Hello Sergeant Bonnie... Anyway my work there is done the 2 of you are so CUTE together - Chi let's take a picture BAMON FOREVER.

I would but I've fallen and…I can't get up.

Bonnie: …What happened?

Rogue: You know what happened.

I'm on the floor because of it.

Rogue: Love?

Bonnie: *Pushes Damon* Go away.

Damon: Make up your mind honey.

Rogue: *Rogue switches on chainsaw* You bastard how dare you pick up you shirt again and make us all gag you living disco ball! *Rogue cuts off Edward's head and tosses the body to Louis*

Louis: *looks at the body* What am I going to do with this?

Rogue: Eat it, I don't care.

Louis: No.

Rogue: Alright guys lets play soccer with Eddie's head! Chi, Pam, Kat, Alice, Elena, Bonnie, Sookie, Tara and Rogue Vs Dean, Eric, Stefan, Damon, Sam, Castiel, Jacob, Zero and Bob. The women are going to kick your asses! Seth you do commentary

Seth: Charity and Damon face of in the center field, Damon's got the head he pushes Charity but Rogue's got her, Damon passes to Stefan, Stefan passes to Eric, Eric's up against Sookie and Tara who are defending the goal, Eric Shoot's, Kat tries to save the goal Eric SCORES! That's one for the men!

Pam: Kitty Kat you SUCK as a goalie.

Kat: Like you could do better.

Pam: I know I can.

Seth: Eric has the head again, Bonnie is hot on his tail followed by Elena, Eric passes the Head to Dean, both Sam and Castiel are open. Dean stops he doesn't know who to pass to, and Bob the rabbit steals it from Dean

Bob: You Bastard, we're playing a game I'll eat your soul if we lose because of you!

Seth: Bob gets tackled By Katherine, Bob passes Edward's head to Jacob, Jacob's heading for the Goal post, Pam's ready for him, Jacob's going to Shoot, Pam shows her boobs *Seth faints*

Lestat: I will be your new commentator, Jacob has passed out on the field and is being replaced by Jasper. The hot sexy Blonde sparklepire teases his little pixie wife with the head, the pixie looks mad, the pixie attacks him and starts pulling of hair.

Kat: Good one Jazz give it to her!

Everyone: …

Lestat: The Pixie jumps on the bitch Vamp, clothes start tearing, Charity and Rogue are eating popcorn and watching the fight, Eric uses the opportunity to fell up Damon but grabs Stefan's ass instead THAT'S MINE YOU BASTARD. *Lestat runs onto field and tackles Eric, Damon and Stefan back away slowly then run and hide behind Rogue and Charity*

Seth: Damn sorry about that... tooo hot... Lestat and Eric are going at it, Eric is banging Lestat's head against the goal post, Alice is biting Katherine and Katherine is trying to claw her eyes out. Louis has run off with Edward's head, Tara and Elena are Trying to keep Castiel and Sam from killing each other. Dean and Pam are searching for the Edward Head, they found it! Louis is fucking it! Pam kicks the head, it's heading for the goal, Bob Jumps and knocks it out, the ball goes sailing and bounces of Charity's head right into the goal post! The women score Damn we're tied!

That was awesome, Chi how's that bump on your head.

I-I good…*faints*

Louis: My dick where's my dick!

Damon: How does any male being lose that part of his anatomy?

Louis: It was in Edward's mouth when Pam kicked it.

Pam: *smirks* it's on the moon that's where I blasted that sparkly bastards head to.

Rogue: Pam I love you! *Rogue and Pam make out and dry hump* 

Seth: *Nose bleeds and smiles* Yehehea.

*Wakes up* What happened?

Damon: Louis lost his dick in Edward's mouth.

…O-kay?

Rogue: Chi - Nessie or Renesrat is Eddie's Kid with Bella - she must be killed like Edward.

I don't even know her. I gave up reading the books and just waiting for the movies.

Rogue: Tara don't say you're too fucked up to have kids, you get pregnant in book 8 and you have a good husband and you're going to be a great mom:)

Tara: Aw, thank you…who's the daddy?

Rogue: Sam, Cas how were Ruby and Lilith?

Sam: …*Throws up*

Castiel: Thanks for reminding me of the horror! *Cries*

Rogue: O.O?

Who knows?

Rogue: Let's see H & M you say I guess its Hannah Montana but I don't want a cookie I want nookie.

Damon: *laughs*

Rogue: Come here little Bobby, I got you a soul - it's Bella's she doesn't need one she's a soulless ghoul!

Bob: *Opened his mouth* AWWW!

Rogue: *Tosses it in his mouth*

Bob: *Eats it* It tastes like poo.

Rogue: Than stop eating it.

Bob: I like it I just wanted you guys what it taste like.

Everyone: Ew.

Rogue: Awww. How sweet you're buying baby toys for the kids, So Damon what will you do if Kat tries to harm the babies?

Damon: Kick what bitch in the head.

Katherine: Yeah. Right.

Rogue: Darla honey I know you want me... you want to stick your head between my boobs don't cha 

Darla: …NO!

Rogue: *Blows a kiss*

Darla: That was for you. *Points to Raven*

Raven: Whatever.

Rogue: Eric how soon, Damon is small fish - you should go after Katherine she like a rare white whale... I want to see Kat in a Team Eric Bikini on her knees begging Eric to do her 

Eric: Go one better. *Snaps fingers*

Katherine: *Begins taking off her clothes to reveal a red Team Rogue binki*

That's new.

Eric: *Snaps his fingers again*

Katherine: *Blushes* Please spank me.

Eric: *Chuckles* Fun huh? *Snaps fingers again*

Katherine: *blinks three times* THE FUCK! *Covers herself*

Rogue: Stefan's a sweetie pie that's why we like him, Louis he's like this chubby little kids whose cheeks you just want to bite.

Lestat: He's so sweet. *Runs his hand down Stefan's shirt*

Stefan: *Punches him in the face*

Lestat: You are so hot.

Stefan: *Walks away*

Lestat: I LOVE YOU!

Rogue: Well Jeez that's a lot

Pam: Tooo much come my pet... *Pam drags Rogue to back room* Whoever wants to come can come except Seth, Jacob, Lestat, Louis, Edward, Gir and Bob - we don't do bestiality.

Gir: I…WANT…WAFFLES!

We know that.

An hour later.

Rogue: Yup I am back - Pam did a number on me - I feel like Jell O... I forgot to thank Broadway for the comment - you're awesome too Time to go get drunk - that or I'm going to shove my boss in a wood chipper - dumb bastard - murder shouldn't be a crime - some people are wasting our precious Oxygen.

Katherine: Isn't that true. *Stares at Me and Alice*

Alice: *Tackles Katherine* YOU WANT MORE BITCH!

Everyone: O.O.

Rogue: For a girl I like the name Dominique, Demonique or Damonique (Hmmm think I should write a one shot where Bon Bon gives birth to triplets with those names :D) For a boy I like the name Damien. 

Those are cute!

Bonnie: …

What! Did I do something wrong!

Bonnie: *Glares at me*

*Takes a step back* Sorry?

BeatrixMayfeir: Hey Chi! Please bring Mustang on the show! I want him to burn Edward like he had done with Lust!

He is so cool. *Fan girl scream*

Damon: …

…What.

Beatrix: And Nessie is the stupid half-vampire and shining daughter of Edward and Bella but, thanks to you, Bella is a lesbian now and you saved the future! Everyone kneel in front of Goddess Charity who saved us all! 

*Blushes* Thank MinaFTW…I think it was from her….I feel bad for not remembering.

Beatrix: Hi Sammy*smiles softly then grabs him and forces him to drink a potion* three, two, one...*puff* Yay it worked *makes a victory dance with Tootoughtummy while a little fairy Sammy falls out from his clothes* Aww you're so cute like this Sam *picks him up by his wings and closes him in a jar* we can use him as a lamp!

Sam: …I hate you.

Castiel: He's out of my hair. 

Beatrix: Hey Rogue *hugs and buries her face between Rogue's boobs* God they're huge! I love magic tricks! Can I do the one where you have to cut her in half with a saw and then reattach her but without the reattach part?

Elena: …Stay away from me.

Beatrix: Oh and here are my suggestion for the babies name: Victoria Desideria Salvatore for a girl and Michael Hero Salvatore for a boy! Chi I'll wait for you at the end of the show so we can go for our date, is it ok for you? See you later!

Okay. *Smiles*

Elena1841: Damon I dare you to not hurt,(or kill) anyone for 1 week. If you don't you have to sing 'Circus' by Brittney spears and dress in a tu-tu.

Damon: …You are so lucky that this is a dare or…

Elena1841: It starts now.

Damon: I would give you a big hug. A big, tight, tight, tight hug. *Smiles then snaps fingers*

Twilight: Hi Damon!

Damon: I can't be mean for a whole week so you have to do that for me. Go kick Stefan in the leg.

Twilight: Okay. *Walks to Stefan and kicks him in the leg*

Damon: *Laughs*

Stefan: And the point of that was?

Damon: Brotherly love?

Stefan: Haha. I doubt that a lot.

Damon: Wanna hug?

Stefan: *Narrows eyes then walks away*

FutureActressKS: To Gir how should we torture Edwierdo today?

Edward: *Gulps*

Gir: OPEN HIS BELLY AND STUFF HIM WITH…STUFF!

FutureActress: Edward, Me, lonely? Bella's GONE. She could've done so much better.

Edward: Says you.

FutureActress: To Bonnie: Trade places with you? Tempting, but why can't you just admit you're crazy about Damon? Unless there's someone else we don't know about. 

Bonnie: *Flinch* I…I…

It's Elena?

Bonnie: *Shakes head*

Then who?

Bonnie: It's no one.

*Looks around the room*

Bonnie: What are you doing?

I'm just waiting for someone to walk in and say that those babies were his or hers. Too much soap opera.

Bonnie: Right?

FutureActress: Edward *throws him in the pool of sharks* I'll let you figure that out on your own.

Edward: *Sinks to the bottom*

…

FutureActress: Gir, Me or Zim? *hands him a whole stack of waffles and mega sized syrup*

Gir: I miss Zim but you have WAFFLES! *Attacks the waffles*

FutureActress: Edward I'll never stop! *chases him around with a stake and stabbing him*

Edward: JUSTIN! YOU MISSED A GIRL!

FutureActress: Stefan I love you!

Stefan: *Smiles*

FutureActress: And you Damon!

Damon: Who doesn't?

Bonnie: *Gags*

Damon: Whatever honey.

BereniceAndrea: Hey Chi! I'm back, sorry I've been MIA, school and stuff you know? anyway, im back and...

O.O The sky is going black.

Berenice: HEY ROGUE! ILL FIGHT YOU! YOU MESSED UP WITH KATHERINE, YOU TORTURED ELENA, YOU MESSED UP WITH DELENA FANGIRLS? OHHH... START .

Rogue: Pfft for what?

Berenice: *throws bomb at Rogue* YOU DO NOT MESS UP WITH FANGIRLS! *CUTS HER FINGERS OFF* BAMON? SERIOUSLY? I MEAN, I LOVE BONNIE 100% AND WE ALL KNOW I LOVE DAMON EVEN MORE, BUT TEAM DELENA ALL THE WAY! *chases Rogue with a bazooka in her hand* 

Everyone: O.O!

Rogue: You cute when you're mad. *Chuckles*

…

Berenice: DIE BITCH!

Alice: So what are you Chi?

I'm a Damon slash anyone type of girl. I really don't take things like this seriously. I just like to read and write.

Bonnie: …She has a purple one this time.

Stefan: Yep. Anyone want popcorn?

Tara: Sure.

Berenice: I'm gonna start hanging out with people like Twilight cause she's an Elena fangirl and wants to be mentored by Katherine... Which makes us too :D 

Elena: *Smiles*

Berenice: Oh, Stefan, what's going on with you and Tara? Elena he has some explaining to do. I'm on your side! Oh, If i'm MIA for a couple of chapters is probably because I'm defending your honor (?) from Rogue! jk. Or maybe not...

Stefan: See, double standards. It's not that we're even dating, I just like being around her. She's a great friend.

Tara: Aww, Stefan.

Stefan: Besides you a Delena fan. I've been screwed from the start.

Berenice: I'm still going to be on her side.

Stefan: Of course. Why don't I become gay and save you guys all the trouble. *Girly voice* Damon belongs to Elena, Damon belongs to Bonnie! I'm sick of hearing this whining. Don't you even care about my feeling and views over this situation? The way I see it, if Damon wants Elena fine! If he wants Bonnie, fine. He's his own person and no matter how much I hate him I know whatever choice he makes, he'll be happy.

Damon: Thank you! Besides I already have a girl.

Everyone: Who?

Damon: *Wraps his arm around my neck* Chi.

Berenice: Really?

NO! *Waves hands in front of me* LIES! ALL LIES!

Damon: Really now?

Stefan: Damon.

Damon: *Purrs* But you said yourself. I have my own feelings. *Licks my cheek*

Bamon fangirls: Really?

Delena: You bitch.

IT'S A LIE!

Damon: *Smirks* I love you Charity.

Bamon & Delena: GET HER!

*Slips out of Damon's hold and Runs* Bad day, bad day, bad day, BAD DAY!

Damon: *Laughs* Classic.

Stefan: That was mean.

Sookie: I agree with Stefan. What if they kill her?

Damon: I'll save her…*Smirks* in the last minute.

Tara: You are so cruel.

Damon: I know.

Bonnie: *Shakes her head* Stupid.

MinaFTW: Bonnie you tired? Me too. *Hugs* Bonnie and sets up couch and gives her some hot chocolate. This weeks been ruff, but I'm trying to just move along.

Bonnie: *Hugs back* Thanks. I needed one.

Damon: Hug?

Mina: Hey Stefan, how's my favorite Salvatore. *Puts her head on Stefan's shoulder* Hope you don't mind, I'm just tired and you seem comfortable. Here's a bunny. 

Stefan: Thanks.

Mina: Goes to sleep.

Elena: Wait so she isn't going to attack me today?

Mina: *Wakes up because BereniceAndrea won't stop yelling* Dude, shut up, I'm trying to sleep here, and Bamon kicks Delena's ass all day. * Yawn*

Stefan: Not again

Mina: Sorry here's another bunny, I'm just really tired; normally I would have chased Delena fans with a flame thrower if they said anything against Bamon but not today. I'm not in the mood.

CAN SOMEONE SAVE ME? THEY HAVE FIRE!

Alice: Here I come!

Katherine: Fine, but you my bitch the second I save you.

*Cries and runs* Thanks.

BroadwayAngelLyric: The Vampire Diaries season premiere rocked. Stefan, are you on vampire steroids? You looked mighty buff there. You finally manned up and got mean so you're on my good side. I'll protect you from Lestat and let you in the backroom free again.

Stefan: Thanks.

Broadway: Lele, shut the fuck up. *closes new entrance that she mucked up the spell on before bombing the bitch*

LeLe: BRING IT ON!

Everyone: O.O.

Broadway: Katherine, I still like you but you could've gone easier on Damon, he doesn't deserve to play second fiddle when he's clearly superior.

Katherine: I can do whatever I want.

Broadway: Damon, you're still my favorite person on this show. *hugs Damon before slipping a gun in his hand**whispers instructions to kill Eddie boy* Damon, here's a bucket of blood for you.

Damon: *Smirks* Bout time.

Broadway: Bonnie, how's the pregnancy? Here's a potion to ease up the morning sickness. Drink a teaspoon a day.

Bonnie: Thank you…

Elena: *Mutter under her breathe* That should have been me.

Bonnie: What?

Elena: Nothing.

Broadway: Zero, I got some special bombs in stock just for you, go check out the new inventory.

Zero: AWESOME!

Broadway: Jack, how's the new romance treating you? I brought booze and lots of it.

Jack: Kesha is the female me. And everyone knows I love me.

Broadway: Elena, you can't hate Damon, it's not possible to hate him, he's awesome!

Elena: He can be annoying at times.

Damon: She still likes me.

Broadway: Chi, have you decided on what type of supernatural creature you want to be yet?

*Running* NOT YET! *Dodging bullets*

Broadway: Bob, I'm going to be nice to you today. Hello, how are you today? How exactly did you become tofu?

Bob: I'm good. I was born in a different planet where everyone was made of tofu. So…yeah.

Broadway: Edward, I can't be nice to you. *cuts Edward's head and balls off*

Edward: OOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Eyes water* WHORE! *Falls over*

Broadway: And Eric, is Godric really coming back on the season finale as a ghost to save you?

Eric: Maybe. You just have to watch.

Broadway: I like Natalie for a girl and Chace for a guy, what if it's twins? Bwahaha and Damon, I can't kill these kids, they're witch and vampire hybrids. Speaking of kill. *kills Satan again, this time for good* No problem, Rogue, no thanks needed but I really appreciate the complement

Sam: Okay. The show is done we want to thank LeLelurvsGlee, Breakfastclub85. TwilightRocks, tootoughtummy, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, Elena1841, FutureActressKS, BereniceAndrea, MinaFTW, BroadwayAngelLyric for reviews!

Alice: *Dodges some girls attack*

Katherine: *Rips some girl up*

Dean: That wasn't even called for.

Katherine: I can't fight on an empty stomach.

*Jumps away from attackers* I want to live!

Stefan: *Glares*

Damon: Not going to work.

Tara: *Glares*

Damon: Still nothing.

*Tears up*

Damon: *Sighs* Fuck!

Bonnie: Wow, you have a heart.

Damon: …

*Dodges a stake*

Damon: HEY!

Bamon & Delena fans: WHAT!

Damon: *Takes off shirt and runs his fingers through his hair*

Bamon & Delena: *Fan girl scream*

Few girls: Not impressed.

I'm alive. *Faints*

Alice: Poor kid.

Sam: Bye guys and make sure to vote on which names you like.


	62. magic tricks

Shows They Can't Do Together

Project break

If you guys are wondering why I haven't did any little stories with Damon and Stefan is because I'm have two big projects! Yay…*Rolls eyes* Both are do Friday. One by myself and the other with a group.

Damon: Why don't you go do them?

I needed a break.

Stefan: You wait till the last day to do stuff.

…I'll do it later!

Alice: Liar.

*Sighs* Anyway I wanted to take a break on boring stuff and wanted to say that I finally saw the season two of VD and Damon…you suck…you suck big…

Damon: Shut up.

Katherine: *Smirks* Told you he was emotional.

Damon: Burn in hell bitch.

Katherine: But you were all over me.

Damon: *Rolls eyes*

Okay! Let's start the…show… Sam you okay?

Sam: I was a fairy in a jar for a day….what do you think?

*Nervous laugh*

Damon's Bitch 13: Hey.

Damon: …Awesome. *Smirks*

Damon's Bitch 13: Hey it's me TwilightRocks i changed my name just for Damon (there was already a Damon's bitch so i added the 13)

Wow.

Bonnie: Didn't think she would do it.

Alice: *Laughs*

Damon's bitch 13: Damon who shall i torch or kill for u?

Damon: Kill Stefan. He annoys me.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

Damon's bitch 13: Chi can u bring Sam and Dean's dad on this chapter i want to see his reaction!

John: *Sitting on the couch with a glass of booze* I'm just a bystander.

Jack: My kind of friend. *Drinks from a bottle*

Sam & Dean: O.O!

Damon's bitch 13: Katherine I love you but i can't believe you told Damon u never loved him u loved Stefan in the season premiere How could u?

Katherine: Just like that. It's the truth, he's too cling. Besides Stefan being cold to me just turns me on.

Stefan: …

Tara: *Gags*

Elena: HE'S MINE!

Stefan: *Sighs*

Damon's bitch 13: * Damon's bitch wings pop out and is dragging Damon to backroom after paying fee*

Damon: …

Two hour later

Bonnie: ….

….

Damon's bitch: Damon anything else you require Master?

Damon: Get these haters off my back.

Damon's bitch: Dean I still love u! Remember the dream Anna walked I on with the angel and demon. Ill be the angel and chi or whoever on the show wants to can be the demon.

Alice: I'll be the demon!

Damon's bitch: Gir sing the doom song please!

Gir: *Holds a microphone and slow music plays* Doooooom, Doom, Domi, domi dooooom!

Damon's bitch: Chi im to lazy to look back in the chapter but whoever said Damien for the boy in the baby names thing i vote for them.

One vote for Damien!

Bonnie: Yay! *Rolls eyes*

Damon's bitch: Damon so what do u think now that you know my age?

Damon: When did I ever care about age? If you're a girl then it's alright with me.

*Shakes head*

Damon: Shut up.

Damon's bitch: Chi PLEASE update the story tomorrow or asap!

Lol. I've been pretty busy.

Rogue: Awwwww, I want to take this opportunity to say Chi you're awesome and if Damon wants to be with you then so be it, just remember the poor Bamon babies *Rogue comforts Bonnie with a hug and hands her candy corn*

Bonnie: *Takes the bag of candy corn* Keep him.

…Why are you glaring at me?

Bonnie: Nothing.

Rogue: Damon that was a horrible thing to do to the Chi a Pet *Rogue throws a bucket of vervain at Damon*

Damon: THE HELL!

Rogue: That's what you get!

Damon: ….

Rogue: Stefan... *Rogue glares at Stefan then throws a bucket of vervain at him*

Stefan: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH What did I do!

Rogue: Nothing - you sat by and let Chi suffer you moron.

Stefan: I wasn't going to let her die! I was going to wait till the last minute.

WHY!

Stefan: That fic. Nuff said.

Rogue: Master Eric that red bikini you had Kat wear was so awesome, I made yellow team Eric Bikini's! *Rogue snaps fingers and Katherine, Sookie, Pam, Rogue and Chi are dressed in Yellow Team Eric Bikini's*

Katherine & Me: …Wow?

Rogue: *Evil laugh*

Girls: Gooooooooooooo Eric

Eric, Eric he's our vamp

Always makes our panties damp

Eric, Eric yes we love him

fucks us till we come on him

Goooooooooooooooo Eric YAY

Rogue: *Rogue Makes out with Eric then Pam, Eric Makes out with Chi* Chi... stop melting!

*falls to the ground*

Eric: *Laughs*

Rogue: Lyric I know the TB books are coming to you real slow - I have a problem with my DSL line at home so I have to send them from work which is a shlep cause the work DSL is as slow as fuck - anyway - I'll keep sending em.

I have Wifi and I have to wait to get internet. Pain in the ass.

Rogue: Elena you are a confused retard - you're almost as bad as Bella just go back to Matt if Tara and Stefan wanna get together let them, if Bonnie and Damon want to be together let them there's nothing special about you except for the fact that you look like Katherine - that's the only reason they even came close to you, now sit your ass down while me and Beatrix prepare for our magic trick.

Elena: HEY! I've been through a lot and I don't want to take you crap!

…. *Takes a step over*

Edward: *Laughs* Seems like you're the new target.

Rogue: Hey Chi?

Huh?

Rogue: Read this out loud. *Hands me the paper*

*Takes it* Now presenting the LEGENDARY ones Rogue and Beatrix!

Elena: *Gulps* Shit.

Everyone: *claps*

Elena: *Appears in box screaming*

Rogue: For our first trick Beatrix will cut the box in half.

O.O

Beatrix: *Beatrix uses chainsaw to saw Elena is half, Elena screams and blood pours out, Katherine puts wine glasses under the box then takes them back to the other vamps*

Katherine: *Takes sip from glass* You don't taste too bad Gilbert.

Eric: Agreed but I've tasted better *Eric looks at Sookie and Chi*

*Blushes*

Sookie: *Sighs*

Rogue: O-Kay... anyway. Now I will insert swords into the box halves. *Rogue starts pushing swords in, Elena screams some more, Beatrix shoves Bob in Elena's mouth*

Poor Elena.

Beatrix: That's it bitch choke on the bunny!

…

Damon: *Passes Elena's blood to Bonnie*

Bonnie: NO

Damon: It's not for you its for my babies - they are part vampire you know.

Bonnie: FINE! *Bonnie drinks blood then steals Stefan's and Zero's and drinks theirs* More please!

Damon: O.O.

Beatrix: Now we're going to shove the boxes in acid! *Rogue and Beatrix drop boxes in a pool of acid*

Tara: Stefan shouldn't you be worried about your Girlfriend.

Stefan: Nope, Rogue will bring her back - who will she torture next chapter.

Tara: Edward

Damon: Yeah but they're bored of the sparkly fag now.

Edward: I am not Bor- *Pam punches his head off*

Everyone except Eric: O_O

Eric: Good girl Pam.

Meanwhile... *Elena is screaming as she is being dissolved by acid*

This is so pissing off the Elena fan girls.

Rogue: Who cares. *Rogue snaps finger and Elena appears on stage screaming*

Elena: It burns it burns! *Rogue slaps Elena*

Rogue: See you're fine

Beatrix: it's over Elena - go sit your ass down. Thank you all. Next time we'll be doing magic tricks with you Fagward.

Rogue: Hmmm new person what should Rogue do... I know!*Rogue aims bazooka she took from BereniceAndrea when she spanked her and fires at Raven*

Raven: Bring it moo cow! *Runs around*

Damon: Aim for the head next time!

Rogue: Damon you shouldn't have defaced Dean's car like that - poor Dean... Here have a marshmallow...

Dean: *Tears up and takes it* It's fluffy. Like that back seat of my car!

John: O.O What happened?

Sam: Damon trashed the car.

John: …What all you do in the back seat of the car?

Sam & Dean: …Nothing.

Rogue: Bonnie - if you don't start showing Damon some loving Chi's going to take your baby daddy away from them... or is it Elena you want to touch...

Bonnie: *Blush*

Alice: *Laughs*

John: How many gay people are going to be on here?

Dean: *Nervous laugh*

Bonnie: It's a lie!

Alice: It's half true. She wants Elena and Damon.

Bonnie: …

Rogue: Jacob I can't fuck your dad cause everything below his waist his paralyzed can you guess what's below his waist? His Dick now sit your ass down.

Jacob: I just wanted to know, Shees.

Rogue: Well Charity if you're serious about M versions then just lemme know what you want to see and what you want the chappy about or you can write it up and I'll beta it and add to it :)

Sure.

Rogue: So Chi do you want to be pregnant too *Rogue smirks whispers in Beatrix's ear* Well we can do that spell again... it depends on Bon Bon.

Haha…no I'm good.

Damon: *Smirks* We'll do it the natural way.

….THE FUCK WE NOT.

Damon: ….*Laughs*

Bonnie: I agree with Chi.

Damon: Sure you do.

Rogue: We should play fangirl soccer! with Eddie's head of course.

Alice: That sounds fun! Unless Louis steals the head again.

Edward: *Throws up*

Louis: I was lonely.

Rogue: Tara, you marry JB Deroux he's human and a little dumber than Jacob but you like him cause he's uncomplicated and you marry him after the Franklin episode of your life in the books. There won't be a JB in the series so I guess they're going to pair you off with Sam.

Tara: Sam is nice.

Stefan: Pfft. I don't.

Rogue: Castiel I dare you to tell us what Ruby did to you on your date or you could tell us what Lilith did to Sam *Rogue smiles grabs a couch and coffee* spill!

Sam: Lilith, set my hair on fire because she thought it was fun, she even tried to feed me to her dogs.

Castiel: She ripped off my clothes and did everything she could. Like cutting me with random stuff. Not…fun.

Rogue: Come here little Bobby *Rogue pets Bob and gives him a carrot* go try and eat Katherine's soul now.

Bob: She don't have one.

Katherine: Thought you knew.

Rogue: Damon what would you like to name the kids and will their last names be Bennett or Salvatore?

Damon: Damon Jr for the boy and Diana for the girl and it will be Salvatore.

Bonnie: You wish! It'll be Bennett!

Damon: Keep dreaming!

Bonnie: No!

Rogue: Katherine you aren't plotting anything against little Damien and Damonique are you - cause then the wrath of the Bamon fans will fall on you!

Katherine: …I can't promise that.

Knowing her she'll screw Damien when he's older.

Katherine: How did you know?

Damon: Stay away from my kids.

Rogue: LOL - Hey Pam could you wear that Team Rogue Bikini for me in the backroom?

Pam: Sure honey.

Rogue: Eric! *Rogue jumps on Eric and kisses him hard - Eric sticks head between Rogue's melons* That was awesome how'd you get Kat to do that? Can we get Elena to do that too?

Eric: I have my ways.

Rogue: Lestat - what I say about Stefan?

Lestat: That's my ass. Okay! Whore!

Rogue: Like you can talk. *Slams Lestat's head with a hammer*

Stefan: Thank you.

Rogue: *Tara hands Rogue flame thrower * Rogue burns Lestat's head off and give body to Louis*

Louis: …I'll be back.

Rogue: Nasty.

Pam: I have a limit to the things I fuck.

Rogue: Gir - here you have some waffles - I made them with Jack so they might be spiked with alcohol - hmmm Gir drunk...

Gir: Waffles! *Eats them the hiccups then falls*

Rogue: Like a rock huh?

Gir: *Jumps up and starts dancing*

Jack: Yeah!

Rogue: Alice - go fight Katherine some more *Rogue grabs Chi and makes out with her* I haven't done that in a while!

*Melts*

Alice: *Tackles Katherine and bash her head in the ground*

Katherine: *Flips Alice off of her and try to claw her eyes out*

Rogue: I actually like Stefan with Caroline - I think she's better for him than his ex's look a like. Stefoline - I like it and for Stefan and Tara Stara :D

Stefan: Sounds cool.

Tara: Sounds like someone I know.

Rogue: Bonnie how can you want Elena when she's secretly trying to kill your babies.

Bonnie: What?

Elena: ... she's lying...

Rogue: Oh yeah - why don't you take a bite of the cookies you made her last night.

Elena: ... no...

Bonnie: How could you *cries on Damon's arm.

Damon: I'm only going to say this once - Elena, Katherine stay away from my babies - come Bonnie lets go have sex you'll feel better.

Bonnie: *Kicks Damon's knee and goes and cries on Chi's shoulder*

*Pats her head* Poor Bonnie.

Rogue: Pam backroom time *Rogue snaps finger and is dressed in a police suit* we're playing cops and robbers - if anyone wants to join they can except Seth, Jacob, Louis, Lestat, Edward and Bob thought I know Bob peeps in that little bugger.

Seth: No fair!

Rogue: *Laughs*

BeatrixMayfeir: OH MY GOD THE IMPALA! Damon what did you do? No one mess with the impala! She's the best car ever!

Damon: It was fun!

Beatrix: Dean don't worry I called the guys from Pimp My Ride! They will take car of your baby and than you can take me on a ride and we can have sex in the back sit! Always wanted to do it!

Dean: Alright. *Cries*

Beatrix: Oh and I think I'll change Sammy in something different every chap because I have a lot of potions but I don't know what they do! Let's try this one *hits Sam with a potion and with a puff he changes in a snake* oh look the sneaky bastard have revealed is true nature! Hey Voldy I have a new pet for you!

Voldemort: Oh Trix that's so nice from you! Come her my little friend!

Sam: *hisses and tries to slither away*

Voldy: Why is he cursing and yelling at you so much?*

Beatrix: *Shrugs* Just take him away!

Voldy: Ok *grabs Sammy and disappear*

Beatrix: Yay Cas! Now we have Dean all for us! Backroom time!

John: Ummm…

Dean: It's nothing…pops. *Neverous laugh*

Beatrix: Hey Stefan don't be so sad! I love you and you have others fangirls and Damon loves you too...deep inside... but it's ok for you to like other girls! Leave Elena alone! Tara is so much better than her!

Stefan: Thanks. At least you care.

Beatrix: *Glares at Elena* BITCH *starts to throw knives at her*

O.O….

Beatrix: Chi are you ok? The fangirls didn't hurt you, right? I'll cut all theirs heads if they try it again! By the way I loved our date! We should do it again and maybe we can bring Rogue, Pam and Alice with us! And you should post that Eric/Damon/Stefan fic! Just thinking about it makes me drool! Bye bye.

Lol. I'll post it soon after I do some touches.

BreakfastClub85: Damon I can't believe you messed with the Impala. My love for you just went down a little.

Damon: Haha, I don't care!

Breakfast: Dean If you ever wanna be a dad, I'll happily be your baby mama!

Dean: Sure. I'll take you up on that.

Breakfast: Stefan you scared me a little on the season premiere.

Stefan: People said I should be a little meaner.

Breakfast: Sam did you break your arm in season 2?

Sam: I did but I really didn't feel it.

Dean: He kept whining. Telling me to scratch his arm.

Sam: I had a cast on.

John: I'm happy that my boys can get along.

Damon: *Smirks* They get along too well.

John: Huh?

Dean: Shut up, Damon.

Damon: Do it soon or I will.

Dean: *Sighs*

Breakfast: Cas now be Miley Cyrus and sing Party in the USA!

Castiel: *Sighs then walk to the backroom*

Breakfast: So cute.

Gir: *Throws up then falls into his puke*

Breakfast & Me: EW!

Gir: Waff-les!

Jack: Guess he can't hold his booze.

Breakfast: Gir here's an I Hop gift card. Go get some waffles!

Gir: *Trys to reach for it*

Breakfast: *Throws it at him* Here.

Gir: Yay!

Castiel: *Pulls down his tight shorts*

I see…*Damon covers my eyes* Ohhh.

Castiel: *Sings* I put my hands up playing my song, butterflies fly away, nodding my head like yeah, moving my hips like yeah,….I really hate you.

Breakfast: But you're so much fun.

FutureActressKS: Bonnie for someone who hates Damon, you seem jealous at times.

Bonnie: I am not jealous. I have issues.

Damon: Liar.

Bonnie: Whatever.

FutureActress: Gir What's your opinion on this? We all know that I would do anything, I mean ANYTHING he wants. I'm even wearing my Team Damon shirt! *hands more waffles and syrup*

Gir: *Glub*

Jack: That means love that he likes the shirt and can not say so himself because he's in puke.

FutureActress: …Okay? Katherine you're sort of growing on me, but I'm still a hardcore Team Elena girl.

Katherine: I'll bring you to my side soon.

FutureActress: Stefan *hands him a bunny* I like you a lot, not more than Damon, but you seem really, really sexy to me. Edward has nothing on you! And for now, I'll try to stop torturing Edwierdo.

Edward: You better!

FutureActress: I said try.

Edward: …

FutureActress: Bonnie I think you should stop lying to yourself, and like I said, for someone that despises him, you do twitch a lot.

Bonnie: I can twitch. *Twitch* See. Whoa I feel a little dizzy.

You okay?

Bonnie: Yeah.

….Damon?

Damon: What?

Check on Bonnie!

Damon: You okay?

Bonnie: *Twitch* Bastard!

Damon: Yep she's good.

*Rolls eyes* That's mean.

Damon: Good for me huh?

FutureActress: Damon you are amazing!

Damon: Thank you.

FutureActress: Bonnie if you hate him, then I guess you won't mind me doing this *drags Damon to backroom*

Bonnie: …Nope I felt nothing…but *Covers hand with mouth*

You want to go to the bathroom?

Bonnie: Nope…I'm good.

Alice: Alright.

Hour later.

CHECK ON THE WOMAN THAT'S CARRYING YOU BABIES!

Damon: Are you okay Bonnie?

Bonnie: *Flips him off*

Damon: See!

*Growls*

FutureActress: Gir let's dance!

Gir: *Glup*

Jack: ….He can't.

FutureActress: Bob you annoying little freak! No hiding in my food, no watching me all the time. Why do you keep trying to steal my soul? If I even have one!

Bob: You would have a soggy one anyways. Heifer.

FutureActress: Eric: I'm not sure we'll ever get along, especially with how much I love Damon. *hugs Damon for a really long time*

Eric: But you have to admit. We have good taste in men.

Damon: *Twitch*

FutureActress: Edward I think I could take you down in a fight. Actually, I know I could.  
*chases him around sword and stabs him constantly* I keep torturing you and yet you still won't die!

Edward: EVIL!

FutureActress: Chi You're a fantastic writer! *hugs*

Thank you. *Smiles*

Heather: Hey! It's heather taking over my bff's crap! Yay! First off let me say the vampire diaries are better than Supernatural.

Damon: Bout damn time someone said that!

Heather: My friend is crazy for thinking Dean is better than Damon like come on. Stephan's better than Sam(Cuz he's a bitch. Something I can agree with rochelle on.) Oh! And she right here...bye! *Sighs* Jesus...why can't that woman leave my crap alone?

Tootough: Anyways...Heather's wrong. Supernatural is better than Vampire Diaries. Dean is BETTER than Damon.

Dean: I think anyone with a soul is better than Damon.

Damon: Up your fairy.

Tootough: She pouts while I say this...sighs. Bob, come eat her soul. She doesn't need it. Sam, how's being a fairy like Edward going?

Bob: It's probably salty. I like that!

Beatrix: He's a snake now.

Tootough: Edward, I can't honestly believe you fell for that. *Shakes my head* Tragic. Peace out. Going to take a nap now...

Edward: *Lets out a breath* Whatever.

MinaFTW: Damon I'm sorry but you are being an ass on the show, you may be hot as hell, but you're also really annoying me now.

Damon: What happened now.

Mina: Trying to grope Elena, and force a kissing on her, then killing Jeremy, not cool man. Elena here is your gift basket, I'm back on team Elena and off of team stupid *cough Damon cough*

Damon: Hey! I was hurt and horny.

Mina: Right. *Rolls eyes* Bonnie you are ever awesome, love you! Sorry about the Bamon kids, I should have done you and Stefan instead, he isn't a loser like his brother

Bonnie: Thanks and I think Tara would kick my ass if that happened.

Tara: Maybe…I kid.

Mina: Damon go redeem yourself! I'm tired of you acting like an ass, you are wayyyy better than that! I just don't know anymore, could you at least try being nice? I mean next episode you're going to try to kill Caroline, not cool. You're just going to piss off Bonnie.

Damon: And I care why?

Mina: Elena I respect you now, but please don't be a bitch and ruin it!

Elena: I'll….try not too?

Mina: Katherine you are kick ass!

Katherine: I know. Thank you! *Smirks*

Well the show is over!

Damon: And their dad didn't find out that their ….

Dean: *Shots Damon in the head*

John: What?

Dean: *Smiles* It's nothing.

I want to thank Damon's bitch 13, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, Breakfastclub85, FutureActressKS, Heather, Tootoughtummy, and MinaFTW for reviews. Peace.

Tara: Love.

Jack: Booze!

Bye guys.

Damon: *tackles Dean* YOUR DEAD*

John: Don't touch my boy! *Jumps from the couch and fights Damon*

Bonnie & Tara: Wow.

Bye guys! Wish me luck!


	63. A plot

Shows They Can't Do Together

Project time is almost over!

Damon: *Scratch* What's up Elena?

Elena: ….

Damon: Huh?

Elena: I feel their eyes all over me.

Damon: …What?

Elena: The haters.

Damon: Well I guess they finally did some damage to your brain.

Elena: It's not like that! It's just that I've been tortured so much that it's wearing me down. *Tears up*

Bonnie: …

Alice: Cute.

Damon: It's not like I can do anything for you, I can try.

Elena: *Smiles* Thanks.

How cute.

Damon: …IT'S NOT…Who the hell are you?

You really think I wasn't coming back?

Stefan: …Where's Chi.

*Holds up a remote* Look at the big screen.

*On the screen* Chi: *Hanging by the waist on a rope* THIS IS NOT FUN!

Everyone: ….

Alice: I'm not afraid to kick a kid.

*Smirks* You won't do that Alice. You're much too…nice.

Damon: I'm not.

Believe me Damon. We don't need a replay of what happened last time.

Damon: *Twitch*

LET ME TAKE OVER!

NO!

HEY THIS IS BILLY!

Stefan: Oh God why?

Thank you for making this less fun Billy.

Okay Mandy.

Mandy: Good. Now we got that out of the way I'm taking this show over. Question me and I'll kill the host in the worst way.

Damon: Pfft.

Mandy: I'll tie her to a chair and make her watch Barney and badly subbed animes until her head explodes.

Damon: Go ahead make her day.

Mandy: I'll be sure to tell her that.

Stefan: …Just let her go.

Mandy: Or what?

Damon: *Shrugs*

Stefan: *Disappears*

Mandy: Do I really have to kill someone to get respect around here?

Damon: Kill Edward.

Edward: …Bastard.

Stefan: Got her.

Tara: You look like you got into a fight with a bear!

Stefan: It was a pissed off bear.

OW! Ropes hurt.

Mandy: How did you like hanging?

Owie!

Billy: I remember when I had an owie but then I realized that I had an inney.

….

Mandy: *Hits Billy* Okay, let's start this show.

Hannah: You okay?

*Shakes head*

Hannah: Oooh kay well first off, Dean fuck buddy, I think we need a song. Any ideas? Oh, and whenever you wanna become a dad just tell me. It can be arranged. *winks sexily*

Dean: What about 1,2,3,4 by the plain white tees.

Hannah: Damon I can see you being a good dad.

Bonnie: I don't.

Damon: *Twitch* It seems your gaining weight.

Bonnie: *Throws something at his head* I'm pregnant! What's your excuse for having a fat head!

Ego.

Damon: *Looks away* Shut up.

Hannah: John you are so kickass! 

John: Thanks.

Dean: Careful pops, the haters around here are brutal.

John: I've been through hell…nuff said.

Hannah: Chi have you ever listened to the band, Hedley? They are Canadian and awesome!

No but for you I'll give them a listen.

Mandy: You're into…bands?

What's wrong with bands?

Mandy: Like Billy's Dad?

…I don't paint myself and run outside screaming like an idiot.

Mandy: Can't tell.

….

Hannah: Katherine you should hook up with Tyler's uncle Mason. He's kinda hot.

Katherine: No.

Hannah: Why not.

Katherine: He smells like a dog. Nuff said.

Hannah: *rolls eyes* Cas today you shall be Britney Spears and sing Oops I Did It Again! Love you!

Castiel: I really hate you. *Walks to the dressing room*

John: You sure he's okay?

Dean: Yeah, he saved my ass a few times.

Damon: *Mummers* He was in his ass too.

John: What?

Sam: It's nothing dad. See.

Hannah: *Nervous laugh*

Hannah: Sam do you realize how awesome of an older brother you have?

Sam: Yeah…I do.

Damon: Over and over again.

Dean: SHUT UP DAMON!

Damon: Make me fairy!

*Double D's Growl at each other*

Guys come on!

Hannah: *Glares* Edward I hate you more and more each time I see you.

Edward: Ditto. Punk.

Hannah: Oooh so scary.

Edward: *Twitch* I wasn't meant to be scary!

Hannah: We can tell that fairy.

Edward: Just go away.

Hannah: I wonder what happened to Bella?

Edward: You bitch.

Hannah: *Kicks him in the nuts* Damn bastard.

Castiel: *Walks out wearing a school girl outfit* Oops I did it again. I played with your heart, got lost in the game. Oh baby, baby, *shake his butt* Oops you think I'm in love, that I'm sent from above! I'm not that innocent. There, happy now!

Hannah: *Claps hands* I'm loving every second of it!

Castiel: …

BeatrixMayfeir: Oww Chi now I'm dying with curiosity! You are planning something evil, do you? And you brought John! God I love you *leaves Chi breathless with a deep kiss*!

*Melts*

Mandy: You're so weak.

Beatrix: *Jumps on John* you suck as a dad but you are so damn hot! I'm such a bad girl! Want to punish me, daddy?

John: *Smirks* I like this show.

Sam: You say now.

Beatrix: Hey Rogue *makes out with Rogue* I had so much fun with our little show! Wanna do a demonstration about the use of all the object of torture from Middle Ages to present day next? I'm sure that Elena and Edward will be glad to help us! 

Elena: N-no! I'm okay!

Edward: UP YOURS!

Beatrix: Yo Sammy! Had fun with Voldy? What will be of you today? Chi chooses a potion, please!

Um….I like that blue one!

Beatrix: *Throws it at Sam* *puff* eh he's a monkey! Jack do you think that Barbossa would like a new friend for his Jack? Be careful Sam I think that Jack the monkey is a little gay! 

John: Ummm

Dean: He'll be good as new…later.

Sam: *Runs away*

Beatrix: By the way ELENA AND KATHERINA YOU TWO ARE DEAD! How could you do that to Damon for god sake? Screw you both and screw Jeremy, I don't care if he dies! And don't even try to come near Damon again! BITCHES *throws axes to them* 

Katherine: *Dodges them* BRING IT ON!

Elena: *Runs and hide behind the couch* LEAVE ME ALONE!

Beatrix: Love you Damon *hugs and kisses Damon* always preferred you over Stefan since I have read the books!

Stefan: Always the bad boys.

Beatrix: But don't worry Stefan I will protect you from those bitches too! *Drags them both in the backroom* wait here!

Damon: NOT WITH HIM!

Beatrix: Don't care. *Turns to me* Sorry Chi but I needed to take that out of my system since I've seen the episode! Now excuse me but I want to cheer Damon up: he needs to feel he is loved! Bye.

Mandy: Is this really what this show is about?

I've been getting pretty lazy.

Mandy: Pretty? This is the worst ever.

…You don't have to be mean!

Mandy: I'm not mean, I'm a queen of the world.

Katherine: Right….Look here you little bitch I'm the queen here!

Mandy: So ugly.

Katherine: *Throws a punch at Mandy*

Mandy: *Dodges and places a blade against her throat* I'm not like the other Kat. I can give you true death with just one stroke, your just prolonging your sentence to hell.

Katherine: If you think I'm scared…

Mandy: Never even cared.

Billy: BRAIN FREEZE!

Mandy: Don't pay attention to him. I sure don't.

Rogue: hi guys well i'm as sick as fuck so humans take a step back. Good luck charity with your projects hopefully I'll be able to review properly tomorrow.

I hope you feel better!

Rogue: don't care much for Elena fans. The only vamp show i watch religiously is true blood sorry Dean and Damon's you guys have nothing on Eric. Well I'm off to cough my lungs out again.

Dean: …

Damon: I know I am twice as good as Eric.

Eric: *Smirks* You wish.

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: Charity! *Rogue grabs Charity and starts waltzing with her*

Huh?

Bob:*Whispering to Edward* Is she drunk?

Edward: Who knows at least she isn't torturing me...

Bob: I hope she does torture you - she's fun when she does!

Edward: Cause she doesn't hate you anymore

Katherine: *Hits Edward in the head with a spade* Stop talking you're ruining my plan to make Rogue scream my name - can't you see she's drugged - what better opportunity to make her my bitch!

Pam: Try it and I'll stake you!

Katherine: I would like to see you try.

Pam: *Smirks* Don't say I didn't warn you.

Rogue: Well I am a little out of it - yay for cold drugs - I think my cough syrup has alcohol in it - I been swigging it from the bottle :D

Alice & Tara: Sounds like her. *Laughs*

Rogue: About all the Team Damon turn coats - when you join a Team you're in it for life good or bad - just cause some douchy script writer made Damon a little more Stefan-like doesn't necessarily make Damon a pussy - in the books Damon rocks - he threatens to kill Elena's baby sister once (I think Jeremy actually qualify's as a little sister with all his whining) but he doesn't and later on he says that he doesn't drink from children and that to me earns Damon a gold star! Come here Damon *Rogue sticks gold star on Damon's forehead* 

Sounds like a gang to me.

Damon: Why a sticker?

Edward: I never drank from a child either I want a gold star!

Rogue: Well you don't matter cause you're a fairy!

Damon: So true. Tinkerbelle got nothing on you.

Edward: Shut up Damon!

Mandy: You all sound like a pack of idiot morons.

Edward: What the hell are you going to do about….

Mandy: *Slices the air with the scythe and opens a portal* Wanna go to hell?

Edward: Like you can….*Damon pushes him in the portal* DAMN YOU ALL!

Damon: Sadly I know that he will be back.

Mandy: Whatever.

Rogue: So people we've had FGW how about FG Soccer? Whose going to play and who will be on whose team and whose going to be the captains and will Charity compete with us, be commentator or be referee? I vote Damon and Eric as the opposing coaches :D Well Eric and Damon or Alice and Kat ... hmmm or Kat and Pam 

What you guys think?

Mandy: Finish fangirl wars then we'll talk.

Ohhh.

Mandy: It's sad to be known as the ADD writer.

…They call me that.

Mandy: You are in my book.

…

Rogue: I just updated Dancing with Darkness - surprising how one little one shot can grow. Bon Bon how's the pregnancy coming along? Is she showing yet? 

Bonnie: *Growls*

Damon: Bonnie bear doesn't like when anyone says anything about her weight. *Twitch*

Bonnie: I…hope…you…die.

Damon: Someone is cranky.

Bonnie: Hell yeah I am!

…Wedding bells.

Damon: Haha, you're not getting off that easy.

What?

Rogue: Damon will you still love Bonnie when she starts picking up baby weight and getting bigger? 

Bonnie: Leave her alone!

Damon: The babies are the only thing keeping me from pushing you off a cliff.

Bonnie: I doubt that.

Mandy: …

Billy: *Dancing with Gir*

Gir: *Waffle dance*

Rogue: Bonnie what do you think of Damon's obsession with Charity? 

Damon: O.O I am not OBSESSED!

Bonnie& Me: Can't tell.

Damon: *Growls*

Rogue: SO Damon do you think the babies will be more vampire or more witch? And what are your plans on fatherhood?

Damon: They'll be strong vampires that don't have no power.

If you think about it a vampire/witch hybrid is awesome.

Alice: She got a point.

Damon: Fine. But they will be powerful.

Bonnie: The last thing I want my son to be is a whore like you.

Damon: Well thank you Bonnie.

Bonnie: *Gags*

Elena: I feel left out.

Rogue: You won't be soon.*Looks at Stefan* Stef - I would say I feel like I'm neglecting you but Tara is doing A good job of keeping you occupied - so I'm giving you Eddie's credit card and the key's to his Volvo - go shop up a storm and buy me something nice! If I don't like it you'll be taking a vervain bath Stefan Salvatore!

Stefan: …Okay?

Rogue: Eric! *Rogue jumps on Eric and sucks fang with him* Charity give me a minute I'm going to go give Eric the best bonk of his immortal life. *Rogue grabs Eric and takes him to the back room, Sookie and Pam follow with camera*

Eric: *Eric roars in pleasure* 

Lestat: I want love too.

Seth: Says you. I had no time.

Jacob: Same here.

Damon: Why doesn't she ever do things with me... anymore

Bonnie: Cause you have a family now - I'm not some girl you can knock up and run away from! *Bonnie starts crying and throwing random things at Damon* You bastard I gave you the best years of my life and you leave me for fangirls!

Damon:*Dodging random things* Bonnie it was one time and there's more than enough of me to go around!

Bonnie: You're cheating on me with Charity aren't you! Don't lie to me - I'm taking the babies and going to my mother's house!

I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Bonnie: I really doubt that.

*Places hands up* Don't kill me.

Bonnie: *Growls*

Breathe Bonnie - you can't have the baby on the show - no one knows how to deliver a baby.

Katherine: I can deliver it *Kat smirks evilly*

Damon: You stay away from Damien you won't get your claws in another Salvatore

Bonnie: Bennett!

Damon: Salvatore!

Bonnie: BENNETT

Damon: SALVATORE!

Elena: GILBERT! 

Everyone: O_O

Elena: I-I felt left out.

Alice: Just be careful around Elena. She might take you babies and run.

*Rogue, Eric, Sookie and Pam come out from the back room line dancing*

Everyone: O.O

Rogue: Dean, Sam, Cas - no offense but supernatural is starting to suck - Sara Gamble is an AWFUL Executive Producer - she wants it to be a family program with Dean, Lisa and that mini Dean kid of hers - the shows going to drop because of that fucking woman. Dean you have been a pain to watch since that time you broke down and cried to Sam about not wanting to go to hell - I miss the Dean from season 2 and 3 he rocked you suck

Dean: Ouch.

Rogue: - FYI John your boys are fucking each other and not in a good way.

John: *Grabs chest and falls down*

Dean & Sam: DAD!

Rogue: Oh well RIP John.

That was mean.

Rogue: But it was fun.

Katherine: And I wan planning on fucking him... Oh well now I can't be Dean and Sam's Step mom and be the cream in their oreo cookie...

Damon: You need help - you need Doctor Phil... come here Bonnie away from the crazy people I don't want their insane energies affecting my offspring.

Bonnie: Why don't I bite your hand off?

Damon: …You want a stress ball?

Bonnie: How about your head?

Rogue: Castiel I want you to dress in drag with a fruit basket on your head and sing Conga while dancing for Lestat and Louis. 

Castiel: I really hate you.

Rogue: I just don't care.

Castiel: *Storms into the dressing room*

Mandy: I like her…some what.

Rogue: Edward I didn't forget about you*Rogue starts beating Edward with shiny golf stick she stole from Tiger Woods wife then Rogue sets Edward on fire and covers him with honey and tosses him in a pit of bees*

Tara: Why waste honey?

Rogue: Charity we've had fangirls ask the cast of the show thousands of things how about the cast asks the fangirls.

Sure why not. I'll do it on my week break.

Rogue: Pam it's our time hon - Alice - Charity come join us! The Roguester is out.

Bye!

Bonnie: …

Vie: Hi all! I can't stay long. I'm at work and plus I'm sick :( Baby names for the Bamon triplets are: Brynn Dana Bennett-Salvatore; Damon Stefan Bennett-Salvatore and Syanna Starr Bennett-Salvatore. I have others but I'm too busy and sick to write them down.

Damon: I don't want that bastards name in child's name.

Stefan: I hope your children will never turn out like you.

Damon: Up yours!

Vie: TVD season 2 was awesome...always Bonnie it's a pleasure. Katherine u r a badass but u hurt my Damie...u n Elena. :( Stefan u made me love u more. It's ok if you like Tara more than a friend.

Stefan: Thanks.

Katherine: I know I'm a bad.

Mandy: You're a brat compared to me.

She kicked your butt…

Katherine: *Throws a book at my head*

Ow.

Vie: Chi...what is up chica?

I got kidnapped and forced to work at a place called school with a cranky teacher. Other then that it went good.

Vie: Gotta go work calls. It's not fair that I have to work n b sick...and what the hell is sinusitis anyway?

It think it has to do something with the nose. Not sure.

Vie: Damon, I need some lovin or sexual healing ...u choose.

Damon: Let's go with sexual.

Bonnie: I feel sorry for you Chi.

STOP PUSHING HIM ON ME AND TAKING HIM BACK! MY HEAD HURTS!

Damon: *Laughs* Didn't your mother teach you to share?

….

Bonnie: Pig.

Vamp123: Bonnie Your Awesome! But Stop lying to yourself you know you WAAAAANNNNT him ;)

Bonnie: I don't even know what I want.

Vamp123: Stefan you sexy beast you *growls* ;)

Stefan: *Blushes*

Vamp123: Edward I have your precious little Bella Mwhahaha O.o

Edward: WHAT *tries to attack* 

Vamp123: *Uses Jedi mind trick on him*

Edward :O.O 

Vamp123: That's right i have powers too bitch *smirks*

Edward: *Grabs apple and crushes it

Billy & Me: FRED!

Vamp123: SEE APPLE RAPIST!

Edward : Just give me Bella back please 

Vamp123: I was just kidding i don't have her, she's probably with that hot werewolf

Katherine: Or she-wolf.

Edward: * Glares*

Vamp123: *Uses Mind trick again * Te-he that's fun :)

Damon: I want that kind of power.

Damon's Bitch 13: Chi hi!

Hi!

Damon's Bitch: John what would I say if hypothetically Dean and Sam were together or Dean and Castiel were together?

John: *Twitches on the ground*

Dean: …

Damon: So much fun!

Damon's Bitch: Damon anything you wish master? *Does whatever Damon tells her to do*

Damon: *Thinks*

Bonnie: Don't hurt your brain.

Elena: …When did Edward come back?

Who knows, we already past crazy town.

Damon's Bitch: Eric so whatcha think of Sam and Dean's dad John?

Eric: He's alright. Not really my type.

John: *Coughs*

Damon's Bitch: Stefan although I'm team Damon my friend loves you so I hope u feel better and on the show u r so my second choice. Love ya! 

Stefan: *Looks as if he got hit*

Damon: Haha hurts your pride don't it?

Stefan: Ow.

Damon's Bitch: Jack*hands booze*

Jack: *Takes it and runs out*

O.O. Kesha?

Alice: I heard they hit it off good.

Damon's Bitch: Bonnie hi! Love your tv character the book ones pretty cool to but I like the tv one better!

Bonnie: Thanks. 

Damon's Bitch: Chi I'm so bored! Please entertain me by adding a chapter soon!

I'll try my best.

Damon's Bitch 13: bye!

Bye!

Damon: I'll think off something good soon.

Lestat: Just stand there and look pretty.

Damon: Shut up.

MinaFTW: Hugs Damon, you've redeemed yourself! By taking care of Bonnie last chapter, well you attempted to, which was sweet.

Damon: See Bonnie, I'm sweet.

Bonnie: …

Mina: *Hugs Bonnie* hey there, feeling any better. You know, if you don't feel to good, having sex with Damon will help its scientifically good for you and the babies. 

Damon: ….

Bonnie: Say anything and I will kill you.

Damon; You most be in the pissed off stage.

Bonnie: …Yeah, let's go with that.

Mina: If it's a Girl than: Cara, Aria, and Deena. If it's a Boy: Dimitri, Adrian, and David.

Damon: I like Dimitri.

Bonnie: Sure you do.

FutureActressKS: to Gir How ya doing today buddy! *hands waffles*

Gir: YAY!

Billy: *Throws his hands in the air* MONKEY HEADS!

FutureActress: …. Edward I already know I'm evil, and playing fangirls soccer with your head sounds like fun!

Edward: I bet you do?

FutureActress: Zero wanna shoot Edward for me?

Zero: *Grabs a gun and shoots Edward in the head*

FutureActress: Bonnie When are the epic Bamon babies due? 

Bonnie: April 21. Unless they pull a twilight on me.

Damon: Don't doubt that at all.

….That sounds painful

FutureActress: Damon I don't see how anyone could hate you.

Alice, Stefan, Sam, & Dean: We could.

Damon: Stop hating on all this.

FutureActress: Stefan where do you even have room to keep all those bunnies?

Stefan: We have a larger yard.

FutureActress: Gir lets dance if you're up for it.

Gir: *Starts dancing*

FutureActress: *Dance*

*Whispers to Alice* I wonder if Gir will be in his hugging faze soon.

Alice: Yeah. Poor Damon.

Severs him right.

Burntcinnamon: Damon you fucking rock! But I can't believe that Katherine is gonna try and screw your kids! But why would you try and kill Caroline? Ugh, eeeevvvil cliffhanger!

Damon: I'm a man. I have needs. And killing is one of them.

Maybe she turned into a vampire!

Katherine: Just don't guess…you…*throws an apple at my head*

Burntcinnamon: But you're still hot, since you are a sexy beast/ you shave/ you don't sparkle in the fucking sunlight like Edward AND you aren't a fairy, I LOVE you! Wanna help me kill Eddie fairy?

Damon: Sure.

Burntcinnamon: * bats eyelashes and grins*

Damon - a fairy hater? I like. * picks up a stake and holds out hand * are you coming?

Burntcinnamon- * picks up handgun* and shoots Edward in the face

Edward- Ahhhh! STOP or I'll watch you in the backroom!

Damon- You can't if you are dead for a while! ' stakes Edward'

Tara - She got some guts!

Burntcinnamon - * smiles at Tara and then grimaces*

Tara- what?

Burntcinnamon- that douche bag is behind you! Jason is a motherfucking douche bag and he is the only person I HATE on Trublood! I like TVD better though! Damon, backroom?

Damon- * drags Burntcinnamon to backroom*

10 hours later... 0.0

Pam- is she done yet?

Bonnie- I WANT ice cream and pickles!

Chi- wow!

Burntcinnamon and Damon come out covered in blood

Eric - what happened?

Burntcinnamon- he tends to get a little frisky sometimes. Stefan! I got you another bunny and it's named Cookie The Second, cause Katherine killed Cookie!

Stefan- I get the vibes that you don't want me to eat her?

Burntcinnamon- you are totally right! Oh and Stefan, I think is awesome how you threatened Uncle John! You rock too! Pam, I got you a present!

Pam- what is it?

Burntcinnamon-* holds out sunglasses made of gold with * fuck me* written on the fram in diamonds*

Pam - thanks! * puts sunglasses on and smiles*

Eric - I want to fuck you now! * scoops up Pam and runs to backroom*

Burntcinnamon- your welcome Pam!

Pam- Th*moans*

Dean- I'm turned on

John - What does that mean, son?

Dean- Ehhhh, * runs away*

Damon- *giggles*

10 hours later, Eric and Pam come out of backroom

Burntcinnamon- Chi, can we give everybody a tour of the backroom?

Chi- sure!

* whole gang walks in*

Burntcinnamon- so there is the red heart shaped bed, one of the rules, s that you have to change the sheets before you leave! And then there is the kitchen, tv, sofa, condom dispenser, bathroom, Jacuzzi, and massage chair!

Pam- I'm hungry!

Burntcinnamon- hands vampires bottles of blood, gives humans garlic bread! Well my work here is done! Bye! I love you Damon!

Damon: Why garlic bread?

*Eats it* It's good.

Annryn7: *Hugs Chi*

*Hugs back* Welcome back!

Anneryn: *Walks over to Stefan* I've missed you. *smirk* You should definitely come visit me tonight. *wink*

Stefan: Depends if you're good.

Tara: *Coughs*

Stefan: *Guilty smile*

Anneryn: John you are definitely THE hottest dad in the history of ever. I think you should go to the back room with me... Now. *smirk*

John: *On the floor*

Anneryn: I'll get him later.

Sam: That would be smart.

Anneryn: Peace out!

Alice: *Smiles* Bye.

Katherine: When are you going to die?

Alice: *Tackles Katherine* I'M TIRED OF YOU!

Everyone: O.o?

*Eats popcorn and hands it to Bonnie* Want some?

Bonnie: It's weird that you care more then Damon.

You're having babies of course I will care. *Smiles* Besides Damon cares, even if it's a little.

Bonnie: You're right.

Don't be threatened by me, I'm not trying to steal Damon. I'm just trying to stay in a fan girls place.

Bonnie: *Giggles* Thanks. But he can do whatever he wants, it's not like we're married or anything.

We can arrange that.

Bonnie: It's better this way but thank. *Kisses me on the cheek*

…

Alice: OH MY GOD HER SOUL!

Tara: IT'S COMING OUTR OF HER BODY!

Elena: CATCH IT!

Bonnie: …I'll be careful next time.

BereniceAndrea: HI CHI! I'm back-back! Hahahaha... This not being here thing is getting complicated ya know? Ok... what wad i saying? Oh, yeah, about a few chapters back i was talking with you Stefan because you were upset i said something about you and Tara and however im Delena and i never said anything about Elena... 

Stefan: I'm listening.

BereniceAndrea: So, here's the thing: I think you belong with Elena and no one else. I love you guys together, im Delena because -in addition to being completely in love with Damon- i think Elena should be a little more like Katherine and enjoy you both Salvatore brothers... Which gets me to you, you can do it to, but you're good, so you won't and im a proud fan for that, you have higher morals than i do hehe, but ok, so you can be with Elena and sexually enjoy Katherine? :) 

Stefan: You mean on the show or on here because she's a little more off her rocker on here.

Berenice: And hey, just to make it clear for you, i DONT WANT YOU TO BECAME GAY, or die, or anything! I LOVE YOU STEFAN! I'm a superfangirl XD hahaha which means im YOUR fangirl too! I love you! really *hugs you* *hands you a bunny* :D are we ok? Don't want you to hate me... :(

Stefan: I don't hate you. I'm not really the type to hold grudges.

Damon: Stop lying.

Stefan: On this show. Let me finish.

Berenice: Ok, baby names... I don't remember who said it in the other chapter but i vote for Damien too! 

That was Rogue.

Berenice: *Groans*

Alice: *Chuckles*

Berenice: HEY ROGUE LEAVE ELENA ALONE FUCK! *anger increasing* Who do you thing you can spank? Hmm... You were screaming my name, I got you on tape... and now leave the girl alone before I start using the guns I stole from Zero *shows guns* Promise Ill give them back Zero, I will :) 

Rogue: I seriously doubt that, honey.

Berenice: Hey Rogue, gotta admit though, It was pretty creative what you did to Elena... I gotta give you credit for that. Next time do it on Edward and I'll even help ;)

Edward: *Gulps*

Berenice: ... I agree with Mina about the Season premiere... Damon, not cool man… Poor Elena *hands her a tissue* Not cool.

Damon: Why don't you spank me if I was a bad boy?

Stefan: …

Elena: I really consider it. *Takes the tissue and wipes her eyes*

Berenice: Katherine you ROCKED the season premiere! I LOVE YOU! *screams like a little girl* 

Katherine: Of course. I'm Katherine.

Berenice: Good luck Chi with your...whatever you have to do! *hugs*

Thanks. *Hugs back*

Quinn And Thierry Pimp: IM BAAAAAAACKKK! and I've changed*raises eyebrows smiling* Your just gonna love this, No wait Im not gonna tell you but chi pm me and i will tell you who it is

Alice: What? Who is it?

*Places finger over my lips* I'm not telling unless she says so.

Quinn: Everyone ) Guess what character I love now2) guess which one i hate.

Damon: Well that's easy. Edward. He should die.

Stefan: Damon.

Damon: Why should she hate me? I'm her fav.

Stefan: She said new fav.

Damon: Oh.

Dean: Des Tiny!

Damon: Wrong one.

Dean: I was just think of Darren Shaw

Damon: We can tell

Pam: Me for fav and Stefan?

Stefan: …

Alice: Bonnie and Damon

Elena: That mason dude and Jeremy.

Edward: Don't care.

Eric: You hate everyone. I somewhat do.

Pam: *Chuckles*

Quinn: *kills rouge* I've been meaning to do that. One trying about me you don't have to rape me just ask and you might get lucky i may say yes (I almost always say yes)

Everyone: O.O

She'll come back, no one dies on the show.

Damon: Which it messed up.

BroadwayAngelLyric: I see that no one brought Jack booze. You poor baby. *gives Jack keys to a rum factory* go wild.

Jack: *Laughs* Thanks love.

Broadway: And Gir, I bought an IHOP just for you.

Gir: O○O WAFFLE! THANK YOU!

Mandy: Overload. Huh? *Writes in a notebook*

Broadway: Zero, here's one of those 3-person bombs you love.

Zero: *Takes the bomb* I'm using this on Kaname. When is that bastard going to die!

…

Broadway: Damon, I missed you, father badass. *hugs Damon* Dude, I must say that you in last episode was golden.

Damon: Thank you. I'm tired of the 'Not cool' Damon stuff.

Broadway: Stefan, I know I've already said this but you're so much better mean. So, Lestat, come near Stefan again and I cut your balls off. Stefan, you're tied with Bonnie for my 3rd favorite character on VD. Damon is 1 and Katherine's 2. Elena's dead last. 

Elena: *Twitch*

Stefan: Thanks. I'm happy that I made it on your list.

Katherine: You're under me….

Stefan: *Walks away*

Katherine: DON'T YOU LEAVE WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!

Broadway: Elena, you're starting to irk me. Don't do that or I'll cut off your balls. *smiles devilishly* 

Elena: I don't have balls!

Broadway: Bob, I'm making you my new pet.*gives Bob a carrot flavored soul, then whispers that it's Elena's*

Bob: I'm happy someone remembers me.

Elena: *Twitch*

Broadway: No problem, Rogue, just do it when you can. I'm really short on time tonight so byeeeee, next review will be longer. L8r

Bye!

Rogue: When are you dancing Castiel?

Castiel: Fuck. Play the music.

*Press a button*

Castiel: *Wearing a long colorful skirt, binki top, fruit hat and makeup* Conga, Conga,

Conga!

Lestat and Louis: *Rollie Ollie*

Castiel: *Shakes his hips* Conga! There. *Takes the hat and throws it*

Rogue: *Laughs* Quinn And Thierry Pimp - Heart Broken I know it's you. Forget Doctor Phil You need God... or an exorcist - I will exorcise those Demons out of you child come to mother Rogue.

Quinn: *Twitch*

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and is wearing a nuns habit and holding a ping pong bat* come hither HB I will spank those Demons out of you!

Quinn: *Disappears*

Rogue: *Rogue chases HB with ping pong bat and catches her* It's not fun if you want it that's why I don't ask I just take ask Charity she'll tell you right Chi a pet * Rogue spanks HB's bottom then handcuffs her in the back room for further use* 

Everyone: O.o?

Rogue: Berenice you're sorely mistaken - you were doing all the screaming - it's on you tube but thanks for the compliment - you're pretty awesome yourself - TV Elena is slightly better than book Elena and a hell of a lot better than Bella - I still don't like her though Kat rocks but Sookie from the books is a heck of a lot better - she doesn't wait for someone to save her - she shoots peoples asses dead herself. 

Edward: Bella.

Katherine: Not this again!

Rogue: Well enough about vampires for a few minutes... RANDY ORTON I LOVE YOU LET ME HAVE YOUR BABIES! Now that's out my system.

O.O

Rogue: Katherine how did you intend having both Salvatore's? Have one screw your backdoor while the other is up front - that's disgusting - you need God in your life - Castiel please exorcise the demons from this woman. 

Castiel: That's gonna take years.

Rogue: Fuck this Nun habit makes me feel like a Ninja *Rogue snaps fingers and is wearing a team Eric shirt and hot shorts* Much better. Charity I'm not sure if you're a wrestling fan but google Randy Orton - he's so F'n hot I just feel like biting him! I have this really fucked up habit of biting people I like ask my BFF I always bite her when we have our Delena - Bamon arguments.

…You sound like my little sister Tia but she like Rey Mystio.

Rogue: Oh Edward...

Edward: * Edward starts running ... into a wall*

Rogue: Got to love that Earth bender shit. *Rogue drags Fagward and tosses him to Barney* Do it Barney rape that sparkly freak! He's 17 forever I guess that's child enough for you. 

Barney: I'll feed him to my little monsters. *Drags Edward away*

Rogue: I hate Barney my kids are never watching that shit! So Damon what are you going to let your kids watch?

Me either. Don't need my kids to have beastlity.

Stefan: Super model of your choosing or a gift card. I hate shopping for people.

Mandy: Well it seems that the show is over.

…Why am I tied up?

Mandy: You're not doing anything in the next chapter.

O.O!

Mandy: Billy.

Billy: Yes Mandy Sir!

Mandy: Take her to Grim and tell him to give her the special.

I don't want to die!

Mandy: I'm being nice Chi bear.

*Shivers*

Dean: We like to thank Breakfastclub85, BeatrixMayfeir, Rogue Assasin, Vie, Vamp123, Damon's Bitch 13, MinaFTW, FutureActressKS, Burntcinnamon, Annryn7, BereniceAndrea, Quinn And Thierry Pimp, BroadwayAngelLyric, and Anomoymous for reviews!

Mandy: I see you guys next time. Question, do you guys like maid outfits or Japanese swimsuit?

*Gulps*

Mandy: *Smirks* Bye.

Please save me.

Stefan: *Sigh*

Damon: You might as well be superman.

Bonnie: …

Damon: What?

Alice: Nothing!

Billy: PEACE, LOVE, AND TACO!


	64. Mandy somewhat takes over

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Mandy Takeover!

*Tears up*

Damon: I like it.

Mandy: All my servants will wear this.

*Wearing a tight, short, black dress with the word Mandy across my chest* Why me?

Mandy: You're easy.

….

Stefan: Do I even want to ask?

No.

Mandy: She tried to run but she's on punishment.

*Growls*

Bonnie: You can stop drooling now.

Damon: Pfft. Seen better.

Edward: Why are you guys so loud….

*Blush*

Damon: Is there a new guy here?

Ed-ward?

Edward: Yeah?

*Walk over and kisses him*

Everyone: O.O! WHAT!

Edward: *Blush*

Damon: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER!

Mandy: I made her into an Edward fangirl.

*Blush and smiles*

Edward: …I like it.

Damon: *Twitch*

Bonnie: …

Mandy: Let's start this….

Billy: WAIT! I have an announcement!

Mandy: *Growls* What?

Billy: I like ice cream. That is all.

Mandy: *Throws a book at Billy's head* Let's start this show.

Hannah: …Okay. John you okay?

John: *Holds an ice pack to his head* No. *Glares at Dean and Sam*

Dean: *Nervous laugh*

Hannah: Dean I love that song. *tears up* I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! *hugs tightly* I don't ever want to let go.

Dean: Please don't squeeze me to death.

Hannah: Chi did you see Kanye's VMA performance?

No. I didn't get to watch it but I heard about it.

Hannah: Edward I hope you burn in hell, you sparkly ass weirdo.

Edward: *Lovey dovey smile* I don't care what you say.

*Smiles*

Stefan: Damon don't twitch so much.

Damon: Shut up.

Hannah: Katherine you are quite the manipulator.

Katherine: *Smirk* Thank you.

Hannah: Cas today you are...Whitney Houston! Sing I Will Always Love You to Chi! Love you Cas!

Castiel: …Fine. Go sit in the seat Chi.

Okay. *Kisses Edward on the cheek* Be back.

Edward: Okay.

Alice: …Poor Bonnie.

Bonnie: *Twitch* I'm okay.

*Sits in a seat* Okay!

Castiel: *Holds microphone*

*Music plays*

Castiel: ANNND I-IIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOU! *Holds my hand* WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOU!

Tara: Aw. He has a nice voice.

Pam: *Nods*

Hannah: Elena people may hate you but I still love you. I mean c 'mon you have to deal with a vampire BF, his hot crazy brother, (no offense Damon) and their crazy bitch-ass ex. All offense intended Katherine.

Katherine: Up yours you little brat. I ready hope you chock on something.

Hannah: *Ignoring Katherine* Chi I like Dimitri for a boy name. Dimitri Bennet-Salvatore sounds so awesome!

Told you Damon.

Damon: It will be a jr in there, some where?

Damon's Bitch 13: Chi Hi! Can u add Crowley to the show he's my favorite supernatural character as of now!

Damon: Great. More useless people.

It'll be fun.

Damon: Is everyone from that show gay?

John: No.

Damon's Bitch: Rogue and Quinn And Thierry Pimp/Heart Broken you guys should make a show on fanfiction you guys r awesome!

Alice: She got a point. I'll tune in for that fic.

Katherine: Yeah.

Elena: …

Damon's Bitch: Damon have you thought of anything yet I'm getting bored and remember what I give Eric ideas do to you when I'm bored.

Damon: Why don't you wear a suit of chocolate? *Smirks*

Mandy: …

Damon: I have a sweet tooth.

Damon's Bitch: John U awake yet? So how u taken Dean and Sam's/Dean and Castiel relationship(s).

John: O.O He's in it too. *Faints again*

Sam: *Slaps forehead*

Damon's Bitch: Gir instead of Ihop I have made ihw (international house of waffles) for u!

Gir: *Gasp* YES!

Damon's Bitch: *Laughs* Eric:*Shows up in devil with wings costume (my Halloween costume this year )* wanna have some fun in the backroom?

Eric: Sure.

Damon's Bitch: Dean same offer for you!

Dean: I'm good. *Fans his Dad*

Damon's Bitch: Dean: here have some chocolates*hands him it*

Dean: *Takes one and eats it* Thanks. After dean eats chocolate:

Damon's Bitch: It was lust chocolate. So who ya gonna take to the back room Sam or Cas?

Dean: Can't I just take both?

Sam & Castiel: No.

Dean: One at a time?

Sam & Castiel: No.

Dean: ….

Damon's Bitch: Stefan*gives world's biggest bunny* love ya! Sorry if I hurt your feelings last chapter!

Stefan: *Holds it* Thanks.

Damon's Bitch: Chi because of supernatural I now have a new favorite song it's" carry on my wayward son". What's all of yours?

Hmmm, mine's is the Bird and the worm from The Used. That was my first song fic that I ever did. I have too many to count.

Damon's Bitch: Bye. K well I'm going to leave now unless Damon wants me to do anything.

Damon: I'll think off something else later.

Damon's Bitch: Wait a minute. Damon if you were gay and u had to choose between Eric or Sam and dean or dean and Castiel to f**k who would u choose an u can't say no one cause I dare u to answer with the choices I've given u and I won't do whatever u want anymore if you don't answer!

Damon: I had a similar question like this a while back but my answer is gonna be the same. It would be Sam, he looks like a girl and would make it easier.

Damon's Bitch: John have u ever **** a guy?

John: I tried it once. Didn't like it.

Damon's Bitch: John would u ever **** one of your sons or Castiel?

John: O.O NO! GOD NO!

Anneryn7: Stefan oh, I'm good. I promise. *Angelic look* I'm VERY good... and you could help me be a LOT better. *wink* I think you should come home with me after the show. I've missed you.

Stefan: *Stretch out* Sure. *Smirks*

Anneryn7: Alice you're just amazing, and I thought I should remind you of this. You know, if I was into girls like that. Oh man, Jasper would totally have a fight on his hands. Just sayin' *smirk* *hugs Alice*

Jasper: …

Alice: Thanks. *Hugs back*

Anneryn7: John *poke* You're not going to faint again, are you? *takes to the back room*

John: Okay.

Dean: *Watches his Dad being dragged into the backroom*

BeatrixMayfeir: Chiiii! I want to hug you but I'm sick and I don't want to make you sick too! But I'm hugging you in my mind right now!

Thanks. Lol.

Beatrix: I feel so bad that even typing is a torture *starts coughing blood* sorry!

Everyone: O.O!

Beatrix: Oh god I think I'm gonna faint CAS HELP *Cas picks me up in his arms* thanks love *kisses him on the cheek* now take me home and in my bed, pleeese! I love my bed and you will love it too! *Cas starts walking away* wait! I almost forgot *glares at Sam* I could be sick but I'm sure that this will make me feel a little better *throws a potion and puff* eh a chicken! Mmmmm chicken soup! That's perfect when you have fever! Cas will you cook for me?

Castiel: Cas: my pleasure *evil smirk* but I'll take you home first.

Beatrix: Bye Chi and your sister rocks! Rey Mysterio is awesome.

Bye! Don't wear him out too much!

Beatrix: I can't promise that.

Edward: So much fun huh.

Yeah. *Hugs Edward*

Damon: Zero. I'll give you anything other than my death to use your bloody rose.

Zero: No deal.

Damon: Well …give me a shot gun.

Zero: *Throws it at him* Aim for the balls.

Damon: Thanks,

Rogue: Mandy - Hands off the Chi a pet - I challenge you to fight me you off colored smurf like bitch - I'm not Damon you can't beat me! And I don't rape ugly bitches like you neither!

Mandy: I'm thrilled at that. *Smirks*

Rogue: *Rogue jumps on Mandy and tears of her hair and throws it at Damon. Wrestling ring appears with Chi as Referee*

I would say I want a clean fight but I know neither of you fight clean - so go for it.

Mandy: I will send you to hell!

Rogue: Been there done that me and John Winchester even tanned together in hell - I have a better place to send you!

*Mandy punches Rogue in the face, Rogue kicks Mandy up in the air then gives her a drop elbow, Mandy bites Rogue, Rogue gives Mandy a wedgie*

Mandy: That's so first grade

Rogue: But not this *Rogue Grins Evilly and slices the air with her own scythe to... Teletubbies land which has been infested by millions of Barney's!*

Mandy: O.o

Billy: Yay! Barney!

Time for you to go Bye, bye!

Rogue: *Rogue drop kicks Mandy into portal, Eric tosses Billy and Gir in after her. Rogue snaps fingers and portal closes* Good work Partner - let's go have victory sex *Rogue and Eric disappear into the backroom with Pam and Sookie*

Everyone: O.O?

Two hours.

Rogue: *Rogue comes out buttoning up her schoolgirl outfit*

Damon: Me like

Rogue: Me don't care

Dean: Burn

Rogue: Hey Dean your Dad's still on the floor shouldn't you like bury him or something?

Dean: He's in the backroom having fun with Anneryn.

Rogue: Lestat ... you want love? *Rogue smiles sweetly* Go fuck Edward *Rogue whacks Lestat over the head with Louis dick then makes Edward choke on it* 

O.O. EDWARD!

Damon: Stefan, go get the holy water.

Stefan: I'll burn if I touch it.

Damon: JUST GET IT!

Rogue: Elena - go fuck Dean - he's human he can knock you up then you won't feel so left out - just make sure Sam and Cas don't get you first

Sam: He's mine bitch

Cas: No he's mine - I'll smite you!

Rogue: Whatever *Rogue throws itching powder on Sam and Cas* So Dean seeing as Cas is an angel does his dick glow like a light saber? Glow in the dark condoms are soooooooooooooooooo cool almost like Chi's new glow in the dark Damon vibrator - it's green! Damon don't think of going anywhere with Chi - you need to take care of Bonnie. 

Yeah Damon!

Damon: Haha.

Dean: You think it would glow. Maybe it's broken?

That are you planning?

Damon: Why don't you go over there with *Chocks out* Edward.

So you do have a heart. Now go take care of Bonnie, she needs you.

Bonnie: Come near me and I will kill you.

Damon: …

Bonnie: He doesn't love me anymore - he called me fat *starts to cry... REALLY loud*

Damon: O.o okay if you stop crying I promise I'll buy you pickles and ice cream and take you to the amusement park - we'll even go on the love boat just stop crying for the love of God!

Bonnie: *sniff* okay *smiles then looks victoriously at Elena and Charity and mouths MINE*

I have Edward.

Damon: Fine the damn water quickly!

Rogue: Hey Sam... You suck more than Dean does - you are whiny and annoying and moppy and Broody - go eat arsenic!

Doctor Phil: I was called here to speak to you Katherine about your double penetration incest obsession... come step into my office * Katherine vanishes with Doctor Phil* 

Everyone: O.O? 

Eric: *Raises eyebrow* Rogue? Where'd you send my new toy?

Rogue: Ummmmmm to another show... they're in the x-files... *Rogue sit's on Johns chest* well if he's going to just lie here might as well make use of him.

Dean: ? He's gone.

Rogue: *Shrugs* Gosh I think I'm starting to get Fan girls too O.o LOL. So who do I torture and who wants to Join me... Hmmm Beatrix honey come here and Berenice... (Double B). 

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and Edward is chained to a medieval torture table* I have been doing research on European torture devices we will be demonstrating a few of them on our lovely fairy volunteer Fagward.

Everyone except Charity: Yay 

Charity: *Tears up* Poor Edward.

Rogue: Beatrix the first one is called the Judas Cradle

Berenice: Simply put it's a pyramid the prisoner sits on - then we put weights on his legs and ... you get the picture.

Beatrix: The sparkly bastard will slowly get impaled

Rogue: Unfortunately he might just like it... How about we try out the... Revolving drum and grate his sparkles off! Katherine how would you like to turn the wheel that eviscerates him? 

Katherine: Call off Dr. Phil first!

Dr. Phil: We need to speak about…

Katherine: *Picks him up and throws him out the window* Bastard.

*Beatrix and Berenice fasten Edward to the holster as the wheel with all the sharp pointy spikes starts turning*

THIS CONTENT HAS BEEN BLOCKED DUE TO THE SERIOUS AND GRUESOME NATURE OF THE TORTURE

Edward: *Edward's blood curdling screams are heard*

*Curtain lifts and Edward's head is on backwards and his legs where his arms should be and his dick where his nose should be*

Beatrix and Berenice: We thank you for watching our show - tomorrow it's your turn Sam! *Beatrix and Berenice disappear in a poof*

Rogue: Well that was fun Edward... Bella's pregnant ... we can't decide if the baby is Emmett's or Carlisle's - I think you can go back to the Volturi and really kill yourself now - you bore me - Chi bring someone like Bella on here - it's better to torture that lame ass bitch.

*Evil smirk* Sure.

Alice: Something tells me that she's doing that for personal reasons.

She hurt Edward.

Alice: …

Rogue: There are 2 things I can't stand 1 - Eric Bella fics, 2 - Damon Bella fics. Those are just fucked up - Bella belongs in a hole 600 Ft under with me where I can dole out the most excruciating torture on her like... the Spanish Donkey - google it or maybe the Spanish Tickler or the cat's paws... Personally I'd like to put her in a tank of crocodiles and watch them do the death roll with her empty head. 

Bonnie: Rogue is my idol.

Damon: Stop giving her ideas!

Rogue: Castiel be a man and go screw Kat - I DARE you you're an angel use your Godly powers on her - or I'll make you my next victim. 

Castiel: Fine.

Rogue: Oh Elena *Elena starts running into a tree* I am a naturalist. *Rogue drags Elena to a Volcano by the hair and tosses her in* I will dance on her grave... naked!

Pam, Katherine, Damon: We'll watch!

Rogue: Stefan I changed my mind about you - you suck - it took watching VD again and seeing that Unibrow of yours to see reason - Damon do something about his hideous eyebrows!

Damon: After he gets some holy water.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Rogue: Rey Mysterio is boring I think John Cena and Randy Orton are hot but I'm a die hard Shawn Michaels fan ever since I was 5 - he was my idol. Justin Gabriel is nice too but I guess I like him cause He's a South African like me :D

I like the Undertaker really miss Eddie though.

Rogue: Stefan I am disappointed at your lack of getting me a gift *Rogue dumps Stefan in a bath tub of Vervain and locks him in with her powers*

Stefan: …This is what I get for being nice.

Rogue: *Smirk* Lestat come do a strip show for Stefan 

*1 hour later Stefan comes out with dark glasses and Lestat looks very angry*

Damon: Please tell me my brother still has his anal cherry.

Rogue: Yeah, Yeah whatever - I didn't let Lestat rape him physically just abuse his eyesight.

Stefan: Damon my brother is that you - please come here Damon.

Damon: *Damon goes to Stefan* Stefan starts beating Damon with a stick

Stefan: You bastard *whack* I had to watch him *whack, whack* do the most sinful poses *whack, whack, whack* until my eyes started bleeding! * whack, whack, whack, whack*

Damon:*Laughing* Awwww how cute he's throwing a hissy fit - see Bonnie you can practice motherhood on Stefan he can be your test daughter now strike him with lightening.

Bonnie: Why would I….

Damon: Just do it now! Ouch! *Kicks Stefan*

Bonnie: *Shakes head*

Rogue: Boy I'm tired. Had a rough week now all I want is my hubbly bubbly and my geeky co worker in a leather thong - though I doubt he has much of an ass... it's amazing how the people we fall for are so different from the people we dreamed we'd fall for... oh well back to the joys of my bipolar programming nerd. Peace I'm out!

Bye.

Rogue: I should have my own segment -Rogue's lounge Pwerty Please Charity *Rogue give charity puppy dog eyes* Just mail me your stuff and I'll do my shit on it :D

Can't….fight…puppy dog…eyes…okay.

Rogue: Thanks.

Vie: I'm back people but still sick... :(

We hope you'll feel better soon.

Vie: Hey Bonnie, Tara, Katherine, Sookie, Pam, Chi, Elena and any other girl on here I forgot. How the hell are ya?

I'm tired.

Bonnie: Hungry for a chocolate cover pickle.

Katherine & Tara: Really?

Bonnie: Yeah.

Katherine: I feel crabby. That bastard was following me around. Fucking bastard.

Tara: I'm good. Late night.

Sookie: Not much air time.

*Smiles*

Elena: I'm some what alive. So that's good.

Pam: Horny…very horny.

Vie: … Fellas as always, good to look at ya :) Damon, stop being so selfish about not wanting Stefan's name to be apart of one of your children's names. It's the least you could do, I mean...you kissed Elena...hello?

Damon: He didn't help make my kids, why the hell would I want his name anywhere. Bastard.

Stefan: I will pray that they are more like Bonnie.

Damon: Shut up.

Vie: I still love you though but dammit Damon, stop this crazy shit!

Damon: I've always been crazy.

Vie: Bonnie-bear, how you doing sweetie? **gives Bonnie her pickles and chocolate ice-cream** 

Bonnie: *Takes it* Thanks.

Vie: Tara, what's the haps? I was a little upset with you when you left my Sammie after he told you about his little issue...I hope you did that to just clear your head; you going back to him right?

Tara: I don't know. Maybe?

Vie: On a different note: Stefan and Tara are just too cute. Hell, I like Elena and Stefan but Elena will pull a Katherine because she is so damn intrigued by Damon...**gives Elena the evil eye** So, Stefan go ahead and get your groove on and do you...I am Team Stefara now!

Elena: I haven't even done anything yet!

Vie: We know already.

Elena: …

Vie: Dean and Sam, hey sexy bros **Vie gives both of them French kisses** 

Dean & Sam: *Blushes*

Vie: Eric, you are so damn tall **Vie gets a step ladder, climbs it and French Kisses Eric**

Eric: *Smirk

Vie: Oh and Damon, I love the sexual healing tooo **Vie and Damon go into the back for about four hours**

Tara & Me: Wow.

Vie: Bye all! Love you Damon! Chi sorry about that kidnapping thing; been there done that but the reward is SOOO DAMN SWEET!

Yeah. It will be a long time from now.

Vie: don't like the name Damien; it's evil and the babies CAN'T and WON'T be evil. Boy Names: Daniel Bane Bennett-Salvatore; Donnie (get it Bonnie+Damon=...) Bennett-Salvatore; Dustin Blain Bennett-Salvatore; Gage Tyler Bennett-Salvatore. Girl Names: Sophie-Layne Salvatore; Crystal-Blue Bennett-Salvatore; Cassie Salvatore; Bonita Suri Bennett-Salvatore; Stefanie Damona Salvatore.

Bonnie: I like them.

Damon: As long it doesn't have Stefan's name in it then there cool.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

FutureActressKS: Gir take this baseball bat and hit Edwierdo with it as long as you can.

Gir: *Takes the bat and hits Edward*

…

Damon: Give it up and come back as my fan girl or I'll do an exorcism on your ass!

Never!

FutureActress: Edward you never go away, but that means all the more torturing I can do to you. *Stabs him in both eyes with a stake, sets his hair on fire, ties him above the shark tank, pokes him with a sword before finally dropping him in the tank.

….EDWARD!

FutureActress: Katherine and Elena I can't decide who I like better!

Katherine: *Pushes Elena* Now it's easy.

FutureActress: For the Bamon babies, I like the name Damien. *drags Damon and Stefan to backroom*

Damon: Not with him!

Stefan: Same.

FutureActress: *Looks back at Bonnie* Bonnie Damon's the best, just admit it.

Bonnie: I admit nothing.

Alice: Her diary says it all.

Quinn And Thierry Pimp: Hehe you left out part of my review from last chapter:( oh well.

Sorry.

Quinn: *stakes Damon* HOW DARE YOU KILL JEREMY! Sorry Im still affected by that...

Damon: *Growls* GET OVER IT!

Quinn: Never! 

Damon: *Rolls eyes*

Quinn: Guess what is will surprise you all...I don't hate Stefan that much anymore...I blame my friends...

Stefan: Thank god.

BereniceAndrea: Hey Chi! *hugs* how are you doing today? I hope Mandy doesn't torture you or something like that.

Damon: That little bitch turned her into an Edward lover. *Glares at Edward*

Edward: You win some you loss some. *Stick tongue out*

Berenice: Katherine, you rock, kick ass, I'm your biggest fan, I love you :) I'm on your's or Damon's team for FG soccer :) 

Katherine: Thanks. You know what we should do? Kill Bonnie, Elena, Alice, and Chi…are you guys can just watch.

Tara: …

Berenice: Stefaaan! glad we're ok *smiles and hugs you* do you wanna go out sometime? just as friends, I promise :) 

Stefan: Sure, why not?

Berenice: Damon, be good to Bonnie, she can kick your ass.

Damon: Pfft.

Bonnie: …I know who to take you down.

Damon: Just leave me alone with that crap.

Berenice: Ok, so Rogue, I actually have to agree with you, book Elena is a damn idiot (no offense), tv Elena is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better (I love you!) and well, Bella is not even good enough to talk about, and Katherine is THE best ever. I don't watch true blood but for what you said about Sookie, she rocks too. Oh, Edward btw, Bella's dead. 

Elena: Thank you! Why do I have haters? I don't know who things are going to turn out.

Berenice: Hey I liked that idea about the characters making questions to fans, that could be fun, and last thing... Damon, you ARE a bad boy, so let's go to the back room so I can spank you *wink*

Damon: Bring it. *Smirks*

Berenice: Hey Zero, idea! Shoot Mandy :)

Zero: She gone.

Mandy: You can never kill me.

Zero: *Pulls a gun out and shoots Mandy*

Billy: *Screams*

Gir: *Scream*

Damon: Shut up!

Billy: *Screams Louder*

Gir: *Screams Louder*

Damon: *Throws something into their mouths*

Billy & Gir: *Blows up*

…Why?

Damon: They were annoying.

Broadway: "Quinn", we all know you're HB so end the charade.

Quinn: Everyone should have knew.

Broadway: Rogue, you're like my new online BFF. Finally, someone on this perverted(addictive) show sees the perfection of Randy Orton(even though he's numba 2 to Edge). I write wrestling fanfics too.

Alice: Cool.

Broadway: Elena, I officially don't like you. Show you. Tolerable. Book you. A little dense but okay. This you? A whiny little two faced wannabe like Katherine bitch! *bombs Elena*

Elena: *Runs* WHY!

Broadway: Bonnie, why don't you name one of the babies after your grandma? Damon, I really like the name Chace for a boy and Bethany for a girl. I'm thinking about casting a spell to make your children grow up faster than Nessie. But I might not.

Bonnie: Don't cast that spell.

Damon: *Mouths* Do it.

Broadway: Damon, you're awesome and everyone needs to know so walk up to Elena and tell her right now that she does NOT have you by the balls. 

Damon: *Walks up to Elena* You don't have me by the balls.

Elena: … 

Broadway: Stefan, I commend you for trying to be a good boyfriend but sometimes you just need to tell Elena to shut the fuck up. Besides, you should break up with her considering she's been having an affair...

Everyone: O.O

Broadway: With...Edward but that's not the best part she's...

Damon: Say it already

Broadway: Let's just say that Bonnie's not the only one eating for 2. Baby Cullena will be here soon.

*Tears up* Your just like Damon.

Edward: This was before me and you!

Damon: See…now come back to me.

No. I'm not your dog!

Damon: *Picks me up and throws me over his shoulder*

No! *Hits him*

Damon: Let's go Stefan, bring the holy water.

Stefan: *Sighs* Fine.

No!

Damon: Shut up. * Takes me to the backroom*

EDWARD!

Edward: I'll save you….*Eric hits Edward in the neck*

Eric: *Smirks*

Stefan: *Holding a bucket of holy water* Be back Tara.

Elena: What about me?

Stefan: …*Walks in the back room*

Broadway: Jack, got you some booze. *hands Jack a water gun filled with booze*

Jack: Yay!

Alice: Where you been?

Jack: Kesha is a dirty girl.

Tara: Don't want to know that.

Broadway: Gir, I got you another IHOP. 

Gir: WHOOOO!

Broadway: Zero, I'm letting you sort the gun inventory today, have fun.

Zero: *Smirks*

Broadway: Damon, look at how much I got for charging on visits to the backroom. *shows Damon $500* Stay horny, you moneymakers. *Does waffle dance with Gir*

Damon: ...

….

Stefan: We need more holy water.

Damon: Get over Edward.

Bonnie: Maybe it's better this way.

Broadway: Chi, I'm glad we finally got a glimpse of the backroom. Anyway, I think you should make this a touring show, do from a tour bus as you all go across the world. Plus, it'll be funny if Bonnie gives birth on a bus.

That would be fun. What you think Eddie?

Edward: *Smiles*

Damon: ….*Twitch*

Tootoughtummy: Stephan, come make throw this crap away! If I do it I'll go crazy! Damon, I'm glad you didn't kill Caroline.

Damon: I got set on fire.

Stefan: …

Tootough: Bonnie, here's some candy *Hands*. I know how having kids go. According to my friend I have thirteen kids. How that happened IDK.

Bonnie: Thanks. *Takes the candy*

Tootough: Heather told me to tell you Chi that you're freaking amazing and she wishes she could write like you. Okay last one. Papa John? Can I sit on your lap? That's all. Love ya Chi!

Thanks, *Blushes*

John: …Okay?

Tootough: *Climbs into his lap* Feels good.

LeLelurvsGlee: I'm so sorry. but this was a great chapter i don't really have any comments except... -kicks Damon in the head- how dare you try to kill Caroline in the brave new day episode. i was just starting to like you but now you've got pure torture coming your way

Damon: OW! Damn it!

LeLe: Edward -saws his head off and fills it with booze and gives it to jack- he never did have a brain anyway 

*Tears up*

Edward: I'm okay!

LeLe: Well that's all I got to say. Gonna go see if i can catch up on General hospital from my phone.

Say hi to Sonny for me.

MinaFTW: Damon if you don't want Bonnie, than I have the perfect guy for her. Come here darling, Enter the sexy Adrian Adrian Ivashkov.

Damon: Who the fuck is that?

Bonnie: Whoa *stares at hot guy Adrian*

Adrian: *takes Bonnie's hand and kisses it*

Bonnie: *blushes like an idiot*

Damon: *Twitch* What the hell do you think you're doing, she's pregnant.

Adrian: I don't mind

Bonnie: Neither do I!

Damon: Bonnie you are coming with me, *drags Bonnie to the back room*

Adrian: Sorry I got to go, call me back when the hot girl gets here

Mina: Bye Adrian. Yeah Bamonators, my evil plan worked!

Alice: Jealous?

Nope, I like Edward now….*Fan girls grab me* 

Rogue: We're going to change that.

O.o!

FutureActress: Let's go.

Hannah: Edward…really?

Let my love be!

Beatrix: *Throws a potion at me and knocks me out* Let's make it fast.

Quinn: It's been on long enough.

…..

Sam: *Watches them drag me away* Oookay! Well we want to thank Breakfastclub85, Damon's Bitch 13, anneryn7, BeatrixMayfeir, Rogue Assasin, TheRealDarlaCooper, Vie, FutureActressKS, Quinn And Thierry Pimp, BereniceAndrea, BroadwayAngelLyric, Tootoughtummy, LeLelurvsGlee, and MinaFTW for reviews and the now exorcism.

Edward: What is wrong with her being in love with me?

Berenice: Want me to show you?

Vie: *Cracks her knuckles*

Anneryn: I got the holy water. *Holds up the hose*

Damon: Let's get this over with.

Tara: Don't drown her!

Damon: Can't promise that.

Bonnie: So Elena, when are you due?

Elena: Shut up Bonnie.

Dean: Peace, love, and…

Mandy: World Domination!

Sam: You're worst then Bob.

Bob: I WILL PISS ON YOUR SOULS!

Sam & Stefan: Bye.

NO! *Runs away*

Mina: WE'RE SAVING YOU!

Tootough: *Throws a rock and hits me with a rock*

*Knocked out*

LeLe: *Drags me by the leg* Finally!


	65. Bonnie sings

Shows they can't do together

*Sighs*

Damon: What's wrong with you?

I liked it when I was in love with Edward.

Damon: Pfft. No you didn't.

I was nearly drowned! Besides my butt hurts.

Bonnie: *Glares at Damon*

Damon: I didn't do it this time!

Bonnie: Really?

Damon: *Glares at me* Really.

*Places hands up*

Lestat: I'm back! Stefan you missed me?

Stefan: You were gone?

Lestat: *Grabs his chest* Oh you wound me so.

Stefan: Get the hell away from me.

Lestat: Had fun last night Chi.

*Blushes*

Damon: What.

Lestat: We had a good ole time, isn't that right?

You tied me up to the bed and did unspeakable things to me!

Lestat: You weren't complaining last night. *Shrugs*

*Growls*

Eric: I guess that means everyone had a goodnight then.

Damon: Not helping.

Alice: Oh stop being so up tight!

Tara: You have Bonnie…

Bonnie: *Twitch*

Lestat: Well you hear that Stefan? I've moved on.

WHY ME?

Lestat: Because you're an M.

….*Coughs* Let's start the show.

LOOKAWAFFLEo.O ITTALKS: Hi!

That's a long name.

LOOK: Yeah. I just wanted a change. For people who don't know, it's me Vampirewithasecret!

Edward: *Twitch*

LOOK: So i'ma just say hi! And bye! ...*Kicks everyone* Hee, hee BYEZ!

Everyone: O.O

Okay.

LoveHurts1996: Hey.

Damon: A new girl. *Smirks*

Bonnie: ….

LoveHurts: Okay first off I'd just like to make it known that Damon, you are AWESOME! *hands bag of a/b*

Damon: *Takes it* Thanks.

LoveHurts: Stefan you're awesome too. But not as awesome as Damon *gives bunny*

Stefan: *Twitch and takes the bunny* Thanks.

Tara: *Giggles*

LoveHurts: I'd like you two to do me a favor. Will you? Btw it involves severely hurting edweirdo over there will you help?

Damon: Sure.

Stefan: Why not.

LoveHurts: If so here's what you do; Damon, I need you to hit Edward in the back of the head. He needs to be out cold.

Damon: Done. *Shirt covered in blood*

LoveHurts: ….Okay. Then Stefan I need you to take him to the backroom and hook him up to the electric shock chair. I also suggest you tie him up.

Stefan: Okay. *Starts kicking Edward's body towards the backroom*

…

LoveHurts: Then once he regains consciousness try to get him to admit he's gay. If he refuses to do this then Damon will flick the switch and send ten thousand volts of electricity through him fun huh? Good luck!

She'll fit right in here.

Alice: *Laughs* So true.

Katherine: There should be some guys here.

Lestat: I'm here.

Katherine: I mean guys with balls.

Lestat: …You must have mines them.

Katherine: *Growls*

Anneryn7: I hope the exorcism worked out! Another amazing chapter, REALLY no shocker there. :)

Thanks. *Smiles then twitch* STOP FEELING ME UP!

Lestat: *Smirks* You're blushing.

S-Stay over there!

Lestat: Fine master.

Anneryn: *Tackle hugs Chi* Hope you're back to yourself! I mean... loving Edward, that's kinda scary. But, *smooch* for good measure.

*Faints*

Bonnie: *Laughs*

Anneryn: John, You were... amazing. Sam and Dean have nothing on you. *grin* Wow. And damn, you are so pretty. I mean, Dean is gorgeous and all, but you know how to rock a girl's world. And, I'm 18, SO, don't worry it was perfectly legal. *smirk*

John: *Smirks* Thanks.

Eric: Looking all cool now.

John: I got laid so I'm happy.

Eric: What about the Dean and Sam thing?

John: Deny, deny. Deny.

Eric: *Shrugs*

Anneryn: Stefan, *hug* You're definitely my favorite, just sayin'. I mean... you're just so... let's go with... yummy. And sweet, and well, just amazing. Damon should be so jealous of you. Mmm *kiss*

Stefan: *Blush*

Anneryn: *Chuckles then whispers naughty things in Stefan's ear*

Stefan: Wow….

Tara: *Twitch*

Anneryn: Pam. So, I was thinking: world domination. We should definitely talk... I know you're devious enough to help me pull it off. Who else should we have join us with our quest for awesomeness?

Pam: Rogue and Alice.

Eric: What about me?

Pam: You wasn't even an option. If I go you go too. *Smirks*

Anneryn: Eric, We should talk tonight. And by talk, I don't mean, "talk". *smirk, wink*

Eric: Alright. *Stretch out*

Anneryn: Stefan…*grabs him and we start making out*

Damon's Bitch 13: *Holding a bucket of holy water* Chi 0o0 r u ok?

Lestat: *Hugs me behind*

EPP!

Lestat: She's doing better.

MY SOUL!

Damon's Bitch: Castiel please save my soul it has been corrupted by Crowley in paw/teamcastiel's fic see*eyes flash back* *fights with self* i don't want to be saved! Yes I do! Don't! Do!

Castiel: …

Damon's Bitch: Damon:*shows up in chocolate dress* *asks seductively* wanna help me get the dress off?

Damon: *Licks his lips*

Bonnie: …I'm hungry all of a sudden.

Damon's Bitch: John out of the two would u approve more of Dean and Sam or Castiel and Dean?

John: Castiel and Dean because there not brothers.

Sam: But Dad…

John: No buts!

Damon's Bitch: Dean who did ya end up picking? (Remember lust chocolate)

Dean: *Softly* Sam.

Castiel: *Twitch*

Dean: He was the closest!

Castiel: *Turns around and walks away*

Sam: So I'm second choice?

John: …

Damon's Bitch: Jasper you're my fav guy twilight vampire!

Jasper: Too bad that I don't get much air time.

Alice: Leave…now.

Jasper: But Alice…..

Alice: *Holding a hammer about her head* NOW!

Jasper: *Sigh*

Damon's Bitch: Alice you're my fav twilight girl.

Alice: *Smiles* Thank you.

Katherine: I hate her fucking guts.

Alice: *Hits Katherine with a hammer*

Katherine: *Tackles Alice*

Damon's Bitch: Rogue i am officially you fangirl!

I bet she's happy.

Damon's Bitch: Crowley u on the show yet? If you are hi u corrupted me in another fic and turned me into a demon *eyes flash black* I'm still your fangirl though!

Crowley: I'm known to do that.

*Screams* When did you get here?

Crowley: Just let myself in.

*Holds out hand* I'm the host Charity but everyone calls me Chi.

Crowley: *Holds out hand* It's an….

Lestat: *Stands between us* No.

Lestat!

Lestat: Nope.

Move! I don't want to be…PUT ME DOWN!

Lestat: *Throws me over his shoulder* Nope.

Damon's Bitch: … U guys can ask me any questions you want and I'll most likely answer. Bye!

Got any vampire repellent for me?

Damon: When you coming to Mystic Falls?

Stefan: …

Pam: What you think about taking over the world?

Edward: You're a whore. How does that feel?

Damon's Bitch: *Hits Edward with a slug hammer* Die!

Tara & Bonnie: O.O!

Damon's Bitch: That's all?

…So far.

Damon's Bitch: Kay, bye!

So Lestat where's Louis?

Lestat: On vacation with some friends.

And Lestat?

Lestat: Yes my pet.

Put me down. *Twitch*

Lestat: Okay. *Place me on the floor*

Why are you so interested in me all of a sudden? Trying to get Stefan jealous because that's never gonna happen.

Stefan: Tell him Chi!

Lestat: You want to know?

Yes.

Lestat: I'll be embarrassed to tell you out in the open.

*Leans over* Tell me in my ear.

Lestat: Thanks. *Leans over and kisses me*

*Jumps back* W-What!

Lestat: *Sticks his tongue out* Damon sucks. Give up on him and get with a real man.

Damon: *Twitch* And you fairy are a real man?

Lestat: Why don't you take care of the mother of your children before telling me what a man's suppose to be? *Blows a kiss towards him*

Damon: Ew. You bastard.

I feel like I'm in the middle!

Tara: Cause you are.

B-But I didn't do anything!

Bonnie: That's what they all say. *Twitch*

*Runs away* Bonnie's gonna kill me!

Bonnie: Not yet!

Hannah: Hey….you okay.

Bonnie: Not really. *Sigh*

Hannah: Dean I got a new bra! *flashes sexy blue lacey bra*

Dean: *Blushes*

Hannah: *Laughs*

Dean: Wow.

Hannah: Edward I think you have male PMS. Here's some Midol.

Edward: Why don't I take that Midol and shove it up your ass!

Katherine: *Takes the Midol and force them in his mouth*

Edward: *Spits them at her*

Katherine: *Twitch then tackles Edward*

Everyone: O.o.

Don't bloody up the carpet!

Katherine: *Slamming Edwards head to the ground* Die….DIE…DIE!

Poor Edward.

Hannah: Cas & Sam I'm ok with sharing Dean-for now. But FYI one day you'll have a major fight to fight.

Castiel: Pfft.

Sam: Never.

Hannah: Don't say that I didn't warn you.

Castiel & Sam: *Rolls eyes*

Hannah: Cas alrighty, today you are...Beyonce! Re-enact the Single Ladies music video!

Castiel: …*Walks to the dressing room*

Hannah: Damon so how do you like Caroline as a vampire?

Damon: She was okay…

Bonnie: *Raise eyebrow*

Damon: It's true.

Hannah: Sam you are a freakin giant.

Sam: ….Wow?

Hannah: Dean we all know that I love you. But my burning question is how do you feel about me?

Dean: I-I think you're a nice girl but…*Blush* I like you a lot but….

Hannah: But what?

Castiel: He belongs to me!

Sam: No me!

Castiel: *Throws lighting at Sam*

Sam: *Dodges and punched Castiel in the face*

Dean: *Sigh* I don't think you want to deal with that everyday.

Hannah: Aren't you supposed to be doing the single ladies?

Castiel: *Sighs* Hit it!

*Music starts to play*

Castiel: *Waves his hand in the air* All my single ladies, all my single ladies, all my single ladies, all my single ladies, all my single ladies, all my single ladies *Kicks the air* All your hands up! Oh, oh, oooooooooo, a-a, oh.

Rogue: *Rogue blasts Edward with Bazooka* That's for touching the Chi a pet bitch!

Edward: *Screams*

Rogue: *Glares at me* Charity next time you decide to fall for a character fall for wolverine or Jacob heck I'd even accept you falling for Katherine - just not that sparkly bastard!

I was lonely and I slowly start….

Rogue: *Aims the bazooka at me*

I'm sorry!

Rogue: Bob my sweet little bunny - go eat Edward.

Bob: He taste funny.

Rogue: Johnny see you're up and about again... let's do something about it... *Rogue knocks John out with a fire extinguisher*

*Screams*

Rogue: Boring bastard - he should have drowned you like Mandy drowns little puppies Sam - you suck, you're whiny needy and a goody two shoes like Stefan and Eddie and Bella Ho - burn baby burn! *Rogue eyes glow red and Sam bursts into flames*

Sam: *Runs around to put out the fire*

STOP, DROP, AND ROLL!

Sam: It burns!

Rogue: Dean - well you aren't annoying me just yet... you're on my torture list right under Bill Compton - I'm going to rip his balls off and feed them to that irritating childe of his Jessica.

I like Jessica! She better than my sister.

Damon: Anyone is better than her.

HEY!

Damon: You started it.

*Laughs* Stupid.

Bonnie: Charity!

Lestat: Oh clam down. She's with me.

…What am I? A dog?

Katherine: Yes…yes you are.

…What a bitch.

Katherine: Thank you honey.

Rogue: Tara what do you think of Sam shooting his own brother - Sam has lost my sympathies I'm going after him - well guess Dean drops under Sam Merlot now.

Tara: We don't even know if he shot him, maybe he missed?

Rogue: Doubt it. Castiel I want you to dress as a biker gang dude and do the YMCA dance.

Castiel: *Sighs*

Rogue: Hup to it!

Castiel: Fine. *Walks to the dressing room*

Rogue: Pam honey - I'm so sorry we didn't get our time last review - lemme make it up to you. * Rogue snaps fingers and is wearing a short tight yellow dress with team Pam written in red over her boobs*

*Pam and Rogue race to back room - Damon follows with Camera*

Damon: This shit is going to porn hub!

Three hours later

Rogue: Elena you suck plain and simple - I think we should kill baby Cullena - we don't need another Nessie on the other hand If she has baby Cullena she'll die - a very violent death and her only salvation would be to become a sparklepire like Eddie.

Elena: Well there hard to kill.

Rogue: But they are closer to fairies then vampires!

Elena: So. *Pat her stomach* How do you even know if it's Edward's or not?

Stefan: …

Rogue: I'd like to have a Fic called the Rogue and Damon show where we offer our advice services - but I'd need a co writer for that.

Damon: Do your job writer.

Knowing you, you would have impregnated most of the fans on the fic.

Damon: Jealous?

As if. I don't want to die by Bonnie's hands today thank you.

Damon: Whatever.

Rogue: Damon's Bitch 13 - Dean took Eddie in the back room after that lust chocolate! That's right Sam and Cas he cheated on you with Sparkles over there!

Edward: What!

John: The sparkly bastard tooo! *John grabs chest and falls again*

Poor guy!

Rogue: Bonnie quit being difficult with Damon you either want him or you don't - you have till the end of the show or I WILL marry him to Charity.

Wait what!

Rogue: It's your call - I got my shit ready for the ceremony and everyone is invited Eric you get to give Charity away, Tara you're matron of honor, Stefan you're the best man - all your garments are in the back room - so Bonnie make your choice - this is an ultimatum *Rogue smirks evilly and makes out with Damon*

Bonnie: I will never admit it.

Please Bonnie! Just say you love him! You don't even have to mean it.

Damon: *Puppy dog eyes* You don't love me anymore.

*Steps back* I don't like were this is going. Save me BONNIE!

Damon: You don't think I'm sexy anymore.

Stay away from me…shit.

Lestat: Back up.

Damon: Who's fan girl are you gonna be? *Unbuttons shirt*

Lestat: I can do one better. *Unbuttons shirt*

O.O! SAVE ME!

Lestat & Damon: Who's hotter?

…My nose it bleeding. *Falls over* Too…much.

Damon: Stop copying me.

Lestat: I felt left out.

Alice: *Pokes me with a stick* She's somewhat alive.

*Drowning in a pool of blood*

Rogue: I am so bi polar about you Big D.

Damon: Who isn't.

Rogue: Castiel I don't see you making Kat your bitch - want to be my next torture project?

Katherine: His bitch? As if! I'll kick his ass!

Castiel: Can I do something else to redeem myself in your eyes?

Rogue: Damon do something about your hideous brother now!

Damon: *Pours a bucket of vervain on Stefan* That's what you get you bastard.

Stefan: *Screams*

Rogue: Yeah - we all miss Eddie and what Chris Benoit did was sad - he killed his son, wife and himself cause he was suffering from grief after Eddie's death - well in memory of a wrestling great - VIVA LA RAZA! Lie cheat and steal baby.

Damon: May he steal stuff out of God's pocket.

Bonnie: *Slaps him in the back of the head*

Damon: Ow.

Bonnie: *Twitch*

Rogue: Sookie how's it going up in fairy land? Have you met your gay cousin Claude yet - he's a total babe

Sookie: Not yet.

Rogue: Katherine I'm so glad you enjoyed your time with Doc Phil - guess what he's back!

Doctor Phil: Katherine why don't you tell us why you're obsessed to be double penetrated by brother's? Did your daddy not hug you enough? Was your mom the problem is that why you go after younger men - you know with Stefan you were cutting it close to Statutory rape - he's only 17! Tell us about your Daddy issues. Did you also have sexual relations with Guiseppe Salvatore?

Katherine: When will you die you fucking monster!

Rogue: *Yawn* well while Kat gets her therapy *Rogue makes out with Charity and tears of her shirt - then Rogue and Pam take Charity in the back room*

Alice: OMG where's her soul!

Tara: Catch it before Bob eats it!

Eric: Got it! *Shove's Charity's soul back in* Rogue be careful with her - she can't handle all that Lesbian heat - but I can...*Eric smirks - Rogue and Pam jump Eric's bones*

….

Twenty Hours

Damon: Really?

I got some pizza with Tara and Sookie.

Rogue: Stefan shut up - don't spread your broodyness or that big forehead and unibrow to Damon's kids - or I will beat you to death with Louis dick and let Lestat rape your corpse - Yes I'm back to disliking you Steffie bear - you and Elena belong together your levels of suckyness match - and Bonnie burning Damon - not cool - I'll put you in a freezer to cool off.

Lestat: I'm cool. Not really want to rape a dead, dead body.

Rogue: You have morals now?

Lestat: Not much. *Smirks*

Bonnie: I was angry. You can't blame pregnant women who are in shock.

Damon: …

Stefan: …

I'm going…over here….

Rogue: Kat, you touch Bonnie, Elena or Chi and you're going down - you wanna fight bitch bring it - you're on my torture list and Doctor Phil is your BFF.

Katherine: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

*Tears up* OW!

Lestat: …*Slaps Katherine in the head* Bitch.

Katherine: You're just asking for it.

Lestat: *Smirks*

Rogue: I think it's cute how Jeremy and Damon had that sort of brotherly bonding moment - I think Jeremy would be a better little brother than Stefan - Stefan is like the whiny brat that tells on you except instead of running to his daddy who he killed he run to Elena 'Oh Elena Damon's being mean to me', 'Oh Elena Damon's eating people again', 'Oh Elena Damon has more fan girls than me' man shut the fuck up! *Rogue shoots Stefan in the head with Zero's bloody rose*

Tara: …

Rogue: Bon Bon - Elena will be due in the next 2 weeks - it's sparkle freaks baby so the pregnancy only lasts a month - then she dies and the baby will eat her.

Elena: Uh….

Bonnie: I wonder when I'm due?

Probably soon.

Rogue: Do any of you guys listen to Enya? She rocks - Bonnie you should listen to 'Bodicea' in your current state it'll be good for the babies and keep you calm - Damon get the women some calming music and have you been giving her your blood - she needs it for the amount of energy the babies use up. So Bonnie have they started moving yet? Bonnie what names do you like for the twins?

Bonnie: Yeah, but I haven't really decide on names yet. There too man good ones.

Damon: Here. *Hands her a portable CD Player*

Bonnie: Thanks Damon.

Damon: No prob.

Rogue: Ahhh let me answer Eddie kins question 'What is wrong with being in love with you...' *Fangirls are armed with barbed wire baseball bats* You sparkle!

Beatrix: You don't have fangs!

Berenice: You never bathe!

Broadway: You never wash your hair you disgusting cow!

Damon's bitch 13: You actually thought you had a chance of beating Damon in the sexy beast poll - you freak! DIE!

Quinn: We just don't like you!

*Fangirls attack Fagward and beat him till glitter starts leaking from him*

Rogue: Well Bonnie have you made up your mind or do we make Charity Mrs Damon Salvatore?

Bonnie: Fine! Fine. I like him…a lot.

Rogue: Finally we're getting somewhere.

BeatrixMayfeir: Chaaarity I'm healed *jumps on you and makes out*! Sex is the best medicine ever! Thank you Cas *winks at him*! And Sam sucks even as a chicken, he made me throw up!

Sam: *Twitch*

Beatrix: Oi John are you ok now? Maybe I should check you up! I love to play doctor *drugs John in the back room*!

*Hours later*

Beatrix: Ops Dean I think I've gone too far! I can't wake him up! He's dead to the world! *pss Chi have I said it right? Stupid idioms! I'm trying to learn but it's difficult remember all of them properly!* Oh well I think he will be fine... in a couple of days.

Lol. You said it right. Um…what did you guys do back there.

Beatrix: *Evil smirk*

Just…tell me later.

Beatrix: Oh Rogue I love to help you with the torturing! You are so brilliant with that! I want to be on your team in the FG Soccer!

You hear that Rogue. You probably have more fan girls then Damon on this show.

Damon: …Shut up.

Nah!

Beatrix: *Takes Elena and closes her in an iron maiden* we don't need another baby Edwairdo and for sure we don't need you to procreate! A baby Cullena... EWW!

Elena: *Screams*

Tara: …Wow.

Beatrix: Ok before I leave here's the potion of the day *throws it at Sam and with the usual puff* A COW! Ahah "Cow and Chicken" I used to love that show! I will paint you with purple so you'll become Supercow! *Sam runs away* Ehi you can't escape from me!

I remember the red guy with no pants. Good times, good, good times.

Beatrix: Bye Chi and by the way I like the name Dimitri for a boy!

I like it too.

FutureActressKS: Chi hope you aren't an Edward fan anymore. *stabs Edwierdo in the back with a stake.*

…

Edward: *Screams*

FutureActress: Damon, I'll always be team Damon.

Damon: Good.

FutureActress: Gir my best friend! This is the best show ever!

Gir: *Smiles* Hug?

FutureActress: *Hugs Gir*

Gir: WHOOOO!

FutureActress: Katherine, Still a team Elena girl, but you're starting to grow on me.

Katherine: Come to the dark side.

They have cookies.

Katherine: …

*Smiles*

Katherine: *Hits me in the back of my head*

FutureActress: Edward I hate you! *cuts his legs off with a sword*

Edward: AAAAHHHH!

FutureActress: Gir give me a high five!

Gir: *Jumps and give her a high five*

FutureActress: Jack been a while since I've done this *hands him a bottle of rum*

Jack: *Appears out of no where* Thanks love. *Then disappears*

Everyone: …

I don't even know anymore.

FutureActress: Damon I love you!

Damon: *Smirks*

Bonnie: *Growls*

MinaFTW: Hey!

Hi!

Bonnie: *Bonnie, looks back and forth between Damon and Chi*

Huh?

*No mommy, don't let him go*

Huh?

Bonnie: O.O?

Edward: I'm hearing shit.

Mina: *Punches Edward out the way* It seems that your babies are trying to communicate with you.

Bonnie: That's kinda creepy.

Bonnie: Fine

Rogue: Fine? What? Be more clear!

Bonnie: I can't say it!

Mina: Then sing it!

Bonnie: *Death glares at Mina* What?

Mina: Do it willingly or I'll jinx you

Bonnie: Ok! I don't need other stuff happening to me.

If there's a prize for rotten judgment,

I guess I've already won that,

No man is worth the aggravation,

That's ancient history, been there, done that!

Mina, Rogue, & Me: who'd ya think you're kiddin',

He's the Earth and heaven to you,

Try to keep it hidden,

Honey, we can see right through you,

Girl, ya can't conceal it,

We know how ya feel and,

Who you're thinking of,

Bonnie: WRONG! No chance, now way

I won't say it no, no.

Mina, Rogue, & Me: You swoon, you sigh

why deny it, uh-oh

Bonnie: I thought my heart had learned its lesson

It feels so good when you start out

My head is screaming get a grip, girl

Unless you're dying to cry your heart out

Mina, Rogue, & Me: Give up, give in

Check the grin you're in love

Bonnie: You're way off base

I won't say it

Get off my case

I won't say it

Mina, Rogue, & Me: Girl, don't be proud

It's O.K. you're in love

Bonnie: Ohhhhh,

At least out loud,

I won't say I'm in love

Rogue: So you do love him!

Bonnie: Nods shyly.

Damon: I knew it!

Edward: I want to kill all of you in your sleep.

Mina: *Holds up and torch* Way to ruining a moment ass! *Chases after him*

Edward: *Runs away* Can't catch me!

FutureActress: I'm back!

Yo!

FutureActress: Gir let's rock this place!

Gir: *Pulls out a guitar and smoke covers his feet*

Billy: SCARY-O! SCARY-O!

I thought he left?

Tara: Like a bug.

Pam: *Nods*

FutureActress: Damon I'll do anything you want, just about anything.

Damon: Get on your knees and call me daddy.

Bonnie: *Growls*

Damon: Growling is bad for the babies.

Boonie: *Twitch*

FutureActress: Edward *Stabs Edward again with the stake* You're just really annoying. *shoves the stake in his head, smashing it down to his brains if he even has any*

Everyone: O.O….

FutureActress: Damon Backroom?

Bonnie: *Twitch*

Damon: I owe you one.

Bonnie: *Flips him off*

FutureActress: Mandy if anyone is going to take over this world, it'll be me. Not you or Zim. But my buddy Gir here can help me. *hands Gir waffles and syrup*

Mandy: Yeah, yeah. You wish you had the world at the balls like I do. The president is my bitch.

…

FutureActress: Fan girl soccer, I'm definitely on Damon's team.

Damon: Awesome. You hear that writer?

Yes. I'm working on it. Where Crowley go?

Dean: Making deals with people and other stuff.

FutureActress: Also it would be fun to tour around, and it would also be fun if the characters ask the fangirls questions.

Damon: What do you think about a threesome with Damon's Bitch 13 and me?

Bonnie & Alice: …

Katherine: Pfft.

I can't believe you wasted a song on him.

Damon: Shut up. It's just a question.

Bonnie: *Grunts in frustration*

FutureActress: Zero you can shoot Edwierdo for me if you want. That offer also goes to everyone that wants a go at Eddie.

Zero: *Shoots Edward in the head ten times*

…

Quinn And Thierry Pimp: OOOOOOHHH CHI PLEASE BRING JEREMY IN! I want to be the first person to go in the backroom with him!

Jeremy: Um…hey.

Quinn: I love Jeremy hehe.

Elena: Stop trying to rape my brother!

Quinn: *Narrows eyes*

Elena: *Covers her mouth*

BereniceAndrea: Charity are you out of the Edward stupidity? ... HE'S A PUSSY HE DOESN'T HAVE NOR DECERVE FANGIRLS!

Edward: And you suck.

Berenice: bwhahahahahaha Edward hope it hurts! Those torture devices from Europe are awesome... So Sam... muahahahhah anything you wanna say about them?

Sam: Nope.

Berenice: So Kat :D Let's kill them all except for Elena and Chi :D Sorry but I actually like your look-alike a lot, she's not as bad ass as you, but still. Here's a thought! You should turn her and teach her to kick ass! ;) And Chi... we just can't kill her lol.

Katherine: *Evil smile*

Dean: *Pulls out a gun* Bring it bitch.

Alice: *Gets into a fighting stance*

Damon: *Stands in front of Bonnie*

Stefan: *Stands in front of Tara*

Eric: *Stands in front of Sookie and Pam*

Lestat: I've been waiting on this.

Katherine: Keep waitin bitches. I'm taking everyone out including little miss writer.

…

Berenice: Stefan! Back room. Now *I love you!*

Stefan: What?

Berenice: *Drags Stefan to the backroom*

Four hours later

Berenice: Anyway, just torturing Sam today, nothing more, I'm a bit tired so, Im gonna take off! Bye guys! See you next show. Bonnie take care!

Bonnie: Did she wanted to kill me?

Damon: I don't know.

Rogue Assasin: Almost forgot to torture Sam

Hmmmm how do we torture Sam... Beatrix Hon any idea's?

Beatrix:*Looking at bag of potions* I'm thinking I've got so many awesome things I could turn him into!

How about you Berenice?

Berenice: Way ahead of you! Thanks for the idea last chappy! *Berenice dangles Sam above a tank of snapping crocodiles*

Sam: Nooooooooooooooo don't hurt me - you do know I won't die the devil will bring me back.

Dean, John and Castiel: You watch your tongue Samuel!

Beatrix: See gents I told you he was still bending over for Lucifer and Ruby - time to go bye bye Sammy *Berenice hits the button and Sam falls into tank - crocodiles start doing the death roll with his head*

Rogue, Berenice and Beatrix: Go Crocs go, go Crocs go!

Castiel: THAT'S IT - EAT HIS LIVER! Dean is mine!

John: The hell he is *John shoots Castiel* Thanks for the Bloody Rose Zero.

Sam: It's biting of my DICK AHHHHHHHHHHHH Save me someone anyone! DEAN!

Beatrix: He has a dick?

Apparently he does.

Berenice: Who would've guessed so can we bring him back and put him in the electric chair - before the crocs finish tearing him into itty bitty bits.

Rogue: Sure *Rogue snaps fingers and Sam is healed and strapped into the electric chair*

Sam: How'd I get back.

Berenice and Beatrix: *Points at Rogue*

Sam:*Eyes widen* that means you're...

Rogue: Yes the devil is a woman Sam - a woman named Rogue *Rogue presses the big red button and Sam gets fried* Well that was fun whose up tomorrow? Ladies? Elena? More Katherine and Doc Phil... Stefan... Edward... Bella? or maybe that bastard Bill Compton!

I am so lucky that I'm not on her hate list.

Rogue: *Rogue growls* How DARE he try to bury my Eric in concrete I'll feed his pancreas to my python and his liver to my hell hounds! Let me at that Compton bastard! *Rogue Vanishes in a blaze of fire*

Where she go?

Eric: Oh no she's on my show! She's taking Bill Compton's testicle's out!

Pam: We need to go watch!

*Eric and Pam fly off*

O.o?

Rogue: *Reappears* Castiel you thought I forgot!

Castiel: *Presses button, dressed in a gay biker suit* They come to stay at the Y.M.C.A, They come to stay at the Y.M.C.A-A. *Makes the letters out with his body*

Tootoughtummy: First let me say...CHARITY! I'm so sorry for hitting you! But it had to be done! You cannot like that sad excuse of a vampire. Just wanted to say sorry.

It's okay. It had to be done…but why so hard?

Tootough: Anyways Damon? You stink dude. I'm glad Bonnie tried to kill you.

Damon: You're off my good list.

Tootough: Sam, you don't realize how badass your dad is. So unappreciative. Papa John, you're so cozy. I'm gonna lay here the entire chapter. Yay.

Sam: *Rolls eyes*

Tootough: *Smiles while sitting on John's lap*

John: ….

Tootough: Edward, I got a video for you. Its from Bella.(Its her saying how stupid, sucky, etc he is. Also it shows her new girlfriend...Jane! Plus they make out in front off him.) I hope you enjoy Eddie! See ya later!

Edward: *Cries* Your EVIL!

Tootough: I know right?

Scary. Well the show is over and I'm tired. I want to thank, LOOKAWAFFLEo.O IT TALKS, LoveHurts1996, Anneryn7, Damon's Bitch 13, BreakfastClub85, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, FutureActressKS, Mina, Quinn And Thierry Pimp, BereniceAndrea, and Tootoughtummy for the reviews. Peace!

Alice: Love.

Katherine: And death to you all.

Everyone: …*Rolls eyes*

Jeremy: You make me come at the ending?

Sorry.

Jeremy: Fine.

Lestat: …

What?

Lestat: Katherine is holding a knife over your head.

Katherine: Fuckin snitch.

Bye guys.


	66. Kagome's Troubles

Shows They Can't Do Together

Inuyasha!

Damon: So were doing this again?

Stefan: *Nods*

Kagome: I sense a shikon jewel!

Inuyasha: WHERE?

Kagome: That demon has it! *Points to Damon*

Stefan: *Laughs*

Damon: Shut up!

Inuyasha: *Pulls out a sword* Hand over the jewel!

Damon: *Twitch* I don't have whatever you're talking about.

Inuyasha: Liar!

Sango: Be careful!

Miroku: He seems powerful.

Stefan: He just has a big ego! No need to be alarmed!

Damon: You bastards want to fight?

Inuyasha: YEAH BASTARD!

Everyone expect Damon: ….

Damon: *Gets in a fighting stance* Pussy! You need a sword to fight?

Inuyasha: Hold my sword Kagome. *Throws it at her*

Kagome: *Catches it and twitch* Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: *Rolls up his sleeves* Bring it on!

Sango: Doesn't look like we're needed.

Miroku: Nope. Wanna bear me a son?

Sango: …*Slaps him*

Miroku: I take that as a no.

Shippo: Hey…what are you? *Looks at Stefan*

Stefan: I'm a vampire.

Shippo: *Screams*

Stefan: *Twitch* Stop that.

Shippo: *Hides behind Kagome* I'm not tasty!

Stefan: *Stares at him for a second* Fox is my favorite.

Shippo: *Shakes*

Kagome: *Growls*

Stefan: *Chuckles*

Damon: *Tackles Inuyasha*

Inuyasha: Bastard! *Kicks Damon in the chest*

Damon: BITCH!

Inuyasha: I'M NOT A GIRL!

Damon: CAN'T TELL.

Kagome: Huh?

Shippo: What Kagome?

Kagome: The jewel…it's moving.

Sango: Well let's go.

Inuyasha: You guys go on ahead. *Cracks his knuckles* This is personal.

Damon: What because I called you a bitch boy!

Kagome: It's getting away! Inuyasha!

Inuyasha: GET OFF MY BACK WOMAN!

Kagome: *Twitch*

Shippo: Ah oh.

Kagome: In-u-ya-sha!

Inuyasha: WHAT! *Looks at Kagome*

Kagome: SIT BOY!

Inuyasha: *Crashes to the ground*

Kagome: Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit!

Inuyasha: *Falls deeper in the ground*

Damon: That's new.

Stefan: Can you teach me that?

Damon: Don't go there.

Kagome: Looks like you're gonna need it.

Kikyo: Inuyasha!

Kagome: …Fuck.

Stefan: Have to deal with a dead woman too.

Kagome: *Sighs* Yes

* * *

Did she teach you her spell?

Stefan: She told me to go to some old lady and the old lady took one look at him and gave me to necklaces.

So you put them on him?

Stefan: It was hard as hell but I managed.

Two hours earlier

Damon: *Sings* Caught in a bad romance!

Stefan: …*Sighs while holding a wire*

Damon: *Holds a brush and sings louder* I WANT YOU LOVE AND ALL YOUR LOVERS REVENGE!

Stefan: *Covers mouth to keep from laughing*

Damon: OOOHHHH!

Stefan: *Whispers* This is annoying. *Takes the necklaces off the wire and barges in the bathroom*

Damon: *Jumps* THE FUCK!

Stefan: *Holds out the necklace* Put this on!

Damon: I'M NAKED!

Stefan: Shut up. I already seen everything, *Raises eyebrow* Am I suppose to be impressed or something?

Damon: Just get out of here!

Stefan: *Walks closers with an evil grin*

Now.

Damon: *Trying to the necklaces off* Try to rape me in the shower?

Stefan: Ew.

So you choose some word to activate it?

Stefan: Yep.

What would that be?

Damon: Say it and I'm gonna kick your ass.

Stefan: Just a simple word he uses a lot.

What is it? Bitch, pussy, bastard….

Damon: *Falls to the ground*

Stefan: I think I did it wrong. Oh well…

Damon: YOU BASTARD…*Crashes into the ground*

I guess this will be the only way for you to be nice to people, speaking of people where are Elena and Bonnie?

Tara: Ultrasound.

She left someone. *Points at Damon*

Damon: Pfft. Who needs to know that they will look like?

Stefan: You look like your going to cry.

Damon: SHUT UP!

Lestat: Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard.

Damon: *Crashes deeper into the ground* OW!

LESTAT!

Lestat: What? He had it coming.

*Sighs* You okay down there?

Damon: Fuck you Lestat!

Lestat: I know you do.

Let's start the show!

Anneryn7: *Wearing a sexy little black dress* Chi Do you faint every time someone kisses you? You know, it makes a girl wonder... Let's try something. *Puts a hand on the side of your face and kisses you. Watches to see what your reaction will be.*

*Blush* See I…

Anneryn: You alright.

…

Anneryn: *Waves hand in my face* Chi?

*Faints*

Anneryn: *laughs*

Lestat: Pfft.

Anneryn: Pam, I totally agree with picking Eric, Rogue and Alice for world domination partners. *mischievous grin* And not just because Eric is gorgeous and bad ass. Alice is clearly amazing, and she's a must. And Rogue, well, we really couldn't do it without her. She's an evil mastermind that would be such an asset. SO, I'm thinking that getting rid of Edward for good, should be our first course of action. Wait... did he admit that he was a gay, sparkling fairy yet? *Whispers* because he really is...

Edward: NO I'M NOT!

Pam: I say we should keep him alive. I need a dog to carry my things around.

Edward: Go fuck yourself Pam.

Pam: I would if I could but I can't.

Anneryn: John, You really should accept Sam and Dean the way they are... Just sayin'... I know that Castiel is hotter than Sam, but still.

John: I can accept them for being gay…but not with each other. Their brothers!

Dean: I can change dad!

John: …I doubt that.

Anneryn: Eric *smirk* Yeah... you've still got it. *hugs him* You know... you might have to remind me how good you are soon... otherwise I might forget. *innocent look*

Eric: Remember you said that.

Anneryn: Oh I will.

Edward: HEY I'M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU!

Anneryn: Stefan *shy smile* You know, I haven't been able to sleep much lately. And it's really hard to function off of three hours of sleep a night. It catches up with you... I think you can help me with my problem. *Kiss* If only we could do something... to help wear me out... that way, my body would be tired, and I'd sleep better. *smirk* What do you think of my dress?

Stefan: It's hot.

Tara: I truly believe you two are brothers.

Stefan: …

Anneryn: Katherine you really are devious... just thought that I should point out the obvious.

Katherine: Who else is gonna bring the drama? Damon is weak, Stefan is too goody- goody, Bonnie is a bitch, and Elena is just a bitch with my face.

…You're an old hag.

Katherine: *Glares at me* You want to repeat that ho-ney?

*Takes a step back* Nothing.

Katherine: Good.

Anneryn: Elena please don't take this personally... but I REALLY DON'T like you. You're kind of an annoying bitch...

Elena: I'm taking it personally!

You guys are back! How was it?

Bonnie: We would have made it back earlier but Elena took too long.

Are the babies well?

Bonnie: *Twitch* Two boys one girl…fuck.

Damon: Yes.

Bonnie: What are you yes-ing about!

Damon: *Twitch*

Jack: Just let it go mate. Cause she'll just kick you in the jewels.

What about you Elena?

Elena: Two boys.

*Claps* Ok.

Elena: *Pats her stomach*

Alice: *Eyes widen*

What's up?

Alice: Nothing.

*Narrows eyes* Okay?

Alice: I'll tell you later honey.

Anneryn: Jeremy, I'm sorry that you're related to her. *Gestures to Elena* BUT if it makes you feel any better, just know, that you are gorgeous. *smile* And I'm just throwing this out there, but I think that you and Bonnie would be adorable together... *Whispers* In most of my Vampire Diaries fanfics, you're crushing on Bonnie. Anyways, *kiss* yeah... you as kiss even better than I thought you would. *smirk*

Jeremy: *Blushes* Thanks.

Anneryn: *Smirks*

Hannah: Dean pfft, I can handle those jackasses. My love for you will never die.

Dean: *Looks at Sam and Castiel fighting* So, so tempting.

Hannah: Cas you and Sam be Gabriella and Troy from High School Musical. Sing Breaking Free!

Sam: Fuck no.

Hannah: What did you say?

Sam: There's no way I'm singing.

Hannah: Don't test my awesome powers.

Castiel: Please don't test it. *Dressed as Troy*

Hannah: *Holds up a dress* Gabriella. Now.

Sam: Make me.

Hannah: *Grabs Sam and drags him to the back room*

Everyone: O.O!

Sam's screams fill the room.

What is she doing to him?

Few hours later.

Hannah: *Walks out the room covered in blood*

W-what did y-you do?

Hannah: *Smiles* There are things that are best not to know Chi.

O-Okay.

Hannah: Edward you touch me ever again and I will chop off your balls, shove them down your throat, and light your bitch ass on fire.

Edward: *Touch her hair then runs*

Hannah: *Growls*

Katherine: I'm starting to get hungry.

Hannah: Don't…even…think about it.

Katherine: *Twitch*

Hannah: Sam you're like 6'4'' right? Damn.

Sam: *Crawls to the room dressed as Gabriella* Yeah.

Hannah: Chi hey you guys can ask me what you want, and I might answer!

Elena: Are you a fan of mines?

Damon: You know how to bake?

Edward: Where do you live?

Bob: Can I have your soul?

Jack: WHERE'S MY BOOZE BUNNY?

…Booze bunny?

Jack: …*Walks away*

BeatrixMayfeir: Yay Chi! You brought Crowley! Chocolate cookies for you!

Thanks you!

Elena & Bonnie: *Stares at my hands*

*Sighs* You two want some?

Elena & Bonnie: *Nods*

Beatrix: Crowley you're the best demon ever! I've a list of people you can make a deal with! My eldest sister is the first of the list and please give her a year not ten, please!

Crowley: *Takes the list* I'll see what I can do. *Smirks*

Beatrix: Eh Chi want to know what I did to Daddy John? I can show you if you want *wink* and you can tell me what you did with Lestat!

*Blush*

Lestat: *Chuckles* It would take hours for me to tell you all…

*Covers Lestat's mouth* Lestat!

Lestat: *Licks my hand*

*Jumps back*

Lestat: *Smirks*

Beatrix: For LoveHurts, wow you rocks girl! Join us at The Hurt Edward Club! You have such good test in torturing!

I knew she would fit in just fine.

Bonnie: *Nods while munching on a cookie*

Beatrix: Ow Alice don't be so mean! Pour Jaz *pets Jasper then cuts her finger and offers it* want a taste*smile*!

Alice: Yeah Jasper. Why don't you go.

Jasper: …Not today.

Stefan: Why is Alice pissed at you?

Jasper: It's that time of the year.

Alice: Shut up!

Beatrix: Now I've an idea for Sam's torture of the day! *throws a potion to Sam which changes him in a frog*

Sam: *Croak*

Beatrix: BIOLOGY LESSON! *snaps finger and changes in a hot teacher outfit with a lab coat* Ok pay attention you all! Today I'll show you how to dissect a frog properly! Cas will assist me! Bistoury please *makes the incision and opens Sam*

Dean & John: SAM!

Beatrix: Here you can see the liver *takes it off* Ow Sammy! Dean told you to stop drinking demon's blood! Look what it did to your liver! Its worst than Jack's and he drinks all kind of booze! No cool dude!

Sam: *Gurgles*

Beatrix: *Smiles* *Driiin* Oh well lesson's over people! You have to study chapter 11 of your biology books and next time we'll see an autopsy of a human body with the help of our dear Elena!

Elena: …*Twitch*

Beatrix: Cas and Dean please go to the backroom and wait for me! You need some extra lessons!

Dean: *Cries* Sam.

Castiel: *Drags Dean*

Beatrix: Who else wants some extra lessons? Damon, Stefan? Or you Eric? Pam wanna help me?

Eric: Sure, why not?

Pam: Love to.

Beatrix: What do you think Chi? Was that good for my first biology lesson? Oh and can I take one of the crocs? My little sister wants a new pet and their are so adorable! They did so good with Sammy!

You did great. Keep em both.

Beatrix: Thanks. Bye everyone and do not forget to study!

Bye!

Damon: I'm not studying shit.

Damon's Bitch 13: Hi!

Damon: Yo.

Jack: Yo ho!

Damon: What?

Jack: Just felt left out lad.

Damon's bitch: …Okay? Rouge: I would be your co-writer in your fic but it depends on how often you update cause I have homework!

Cool.

Damon's bitch: Chi ok so to answer your questions:

Chi: ok so to answer your questions:

Got any vampire repellent for me?

Of course I do chi*hands it to her*

*Takes it and sprays myself* Ha! Now you can't come near me Lestat!

Lestat: *Tackles me and kisses my neck*

Not in public! Not in public!

Damon: When you coming to Mystic Falls?

When do you want me to come to mystic falls?

On a Thursday.

Damon's bitch: Why?

Damon: *Shrugs*

Pam: What you think about taking over the world?

I think it would be awesome!

Edward: You're a whore. How does that feel?

You don't have any fangirls or girlfriends or whores! How does that feel?

Edward: I'll just go to all my twilight fans.

Stefan: Pfft Pedophile.

Edward: I have hot Twi-Moms. You can't say that.

Stefan: That's because my fans have a life.

I bet you one of these days were finally going have someone to save and or defend Edward.

Damon: I just bet twenty that it's just a flamer.

Eric: I'm in.

Elena: Betting is wrong.

Out of all the stories that have a lot of reviews I've seen a lot of haters.

Alice: Scared.

…Rouge huh?

Tara: She'll rape them and laugh at their pain.

I can really see that. *Shakes head*

Damon's bitch: Chi I feel so loved you add dialogue for me in the last chapter! Yah!

Im happy to please.

Damon's Bitch: Damon it's been 5 chapters since the whole I do whatever u want for 5 chapters but I'll still do whatever u want!

Damon: Cool.

Damon's Bitch: Castiel Im officially a demon*eyes flash black* this is want ya get for not saving me last chapter.

Castiel: *Throws holy water at Crowley*

Crowley: YOU SON OF A BITCH!

Castiel: Happy now?

Damon's bitch: Everyone including fangirls, who's a Crowley fangirl/fan guy?

*Raises hand*

Lestat: *Points to me* Mine.

Crowley: If she makes a deal then her soul is mine.

Lestat: I'm watching you. *Glares at Damon* Both of you.

Damon: *Kicks me* She not my type.

Ow!

Bonnie: *Growls* Liar.

Damon: Pfft.

Why am I always caught in the middle?

Damon: You read too much into this chi-a-pet.

Lestat: *Growls*

Damon: I liked you better when you was chasing after Stefan.

Stefan: I didn't!

Damon's bitch: Talk about tense.

I'm just… *Walks away*

Damon's bitch: Oookay? Chi you have a face book?

I do but I never really use it unless my sisters want me to get a picture for her.

Damon's bitch: Everyone any questions?

Damon: Yeah. What is the best way to kill a fairy?

Lestat: Why don't you humble this bastard?

Guys calm down! This anger is bad for the babies!

Lestat: *Glares at Damon then sighs* Fine.

*Blush* Why can't other guys be like that?

Damon: Cause he has no balls.

Great.

FutureActressKS: Damon Answer to your question. Sure, if Damon's Bitch 13 is up to it.

Damon: *Smirks*

Bonnie: *Glares*

Damon: You want to join in too?

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes*

FutureActress: Katherine I wanna be more like you, and also, do you want to help me torture Edward?

Katherine: *Holds up a big black bag* This answer your question?

Edward: *gulps*

FutureActress: Edward *chases him around with a blowtorch.

Edward: *Runs away* Evil whore!

FutureActress: DIE WITH YOUR WEAK COMEBACKS!

Edward: *Disappears*

FutureActress: Damn that bastard is fast. *Turns to Damon* Damon *makes out with him*

Bonnie: *Growls and Twitches*

Whoa. I see the gates of hell opening behind her.

Tara: Carrie?

Riley: *Eating popcorn* Dis some Buffy type shit.

…Just go back to Boondocks.

Riley: Aright, hater. *Walks away*

Crowley: Is it always lively in here?

Yeah.

Crowley: Hey! Jeremy, you wanna make a deal.

Jeremy: …Stay away from me.

FutureActress: Too much drama.

*Nods*

FutureActress: Gir… waffle party!

Gir: YAY!

FutureActress: Party! Everyone is invited expect…*Evil smirk* Yeah Edward come to the party.

Edward: Why are you looking at me like that?

FutureActress: Oh, nothing. *Holds up a bag of candy*

Edward: O.O….*Runs away*

FutureActress: GET BACK HERE. YOU'RE THE PINATA!

…

Quinn And Thierry Pimp: Lestat and you cute chi hehe

*Pokes fingers together and blush* Thanks.

Quinn: Jeremy you should kill Damon he killed you in the show!

Jeremy: After what I saw, I know Bonnie is going to murder him.

Damon: What are you blabbing about?

Quinn: You have something on him?

Jeremy: *Places finger on his lips* It'll be fun when the secrets unfold.

Quinn: Okay. Your awesome hehe. *drags to backroom*

Ten hours later

Why is it taking so long in the backroom!

Lestat: Wanna see why?

…No.

Lestat: What's wrong? Scared of a few whips and chains?

No.

Lestat: Well what's wrong?

I…

Quinn: Spill it! *Eating popcorn*

I don't like being blindfolded during sex!

Lestat: *Chuckles*

*Looks away*

Damon: Booo! We don't care about your drama.

Lestat: Bite me.

Damon: Bite yourself you bastard.

…

Quinn: … Elena, you know what little miss perfect, you are a plain bitch.

Elena: What did I do to you?

Quinn: *rips Elena's limbs off with teeth* I really, really don't like you.

Tara & Me: O.O!

Quinn: *Kicks Elena in the head*

Higurashi has nothing on this.

Stefan: Nope.

Quinn: Everyone I have an announcement, Elena's knew name is Bitch address her as so.

Really?

Quinn: Yeah.

Okay?

Elena: ….

Lestat: *Laughs*

I really hope the babies are fine.

Lestat: I doubt it.

…What's going on? Is there something you vampires know?

Lestat: *Whispers in my ear* If I tell you, you'll ruin the whole thing.

Pfft. See if I care.

Quinn: Lestat, Don't rape chi! Chi is awesome. Ask first!

Lestat: I rape her every chance I could…well you can't call it that if she likes it too.

…

Quinn: Chi, you should have some kinda party for all the characters and reviewers.

We should just have a party. No violents…

Quinn: Get real Chi.

That's true.

Quinn: Chi do you listen to the band BrokenCyde?

Never heard of them but I'll give them a listen.

Quinn: Well peace out, well I got to go kill a dog and cut somebody's eyes out so bye!

…O-okay.

Rogue: Hi honey!

Quinn: Go to hell.

Rogue: Meet you there. So Bonnie how goes the pregnancy? Are they kicking yet? Damon have you felt them kick?

Damon: She won't let me touch her. What happened to the hornyness, I haven't got that yet!

Bonnie: * Flicks him off* Come near me and I'll kill you!

Rogue: Bon Bon not cool - he's the daddy don't deprive the kids

Bonnie: I'm not depriving them its just that you gang of fandamons have tortured me into revealing my feelings its only fair that Damon share his feelings too *Bonnie crosses arms and goes to stand by Eric*

Damon: Bonnie you're having my babies nuff said now come back here and drink my blood so my little vampires can grow big and strong.

Bonnie: Not until you spill or I'm giving the kids the last name Northman...

Damon: O.O

Eric: …How did I get into this?

Same thing always happens to me. *Shrugs*

Rogue: Well I'm sure me and Mina will come up with a way to make him admit his feelings - right tough guy?

Damon: Tough guy? Really? These lips are sealed *Damon blows a kiss*

Rogue: We'll see about that...

Damon: …

Rogue: So Charity and Lestat - unexpected but better than Fagward

Edward: You know she still loves me Lestat.

Lestat: *Chuckles* I wonder how she's going to love someone without a head.

…

Rogue: Where's the popcorn when you need it?

Edward: And you…you devil woman! Leave me alone!

Rogue: Nope I have too much fun torturing you, and I won't stop until that boring plain characterless neanderthal Bella gets here I have plans for her - she's number two on my list.

Bella: Yeah, I was going to come on here but I forgot…I left something back in Forks…so see ya. *Runs away*

Rogue: I'll get that bitch soon.

Tara: So whose number one on that list of yours?

Rogue: Stefanny Mayor yep I know its Stephanie Meyer but I prefer saying it that way cause it looks like the 'the fanny mayor' cause that woman is the biggest pussy on the face of the planet for making vampires sparkle like fairies and taking away their fangs - listen bitch if you have wet dreams about men covered in glitter don't force it on the rest of the world - I came close to strangling my lovely niece cause she wouldn't shut up about how wonderful twilight is, so I burned her books and flushed all her Edward posters down the toilet with her goldfish Bella - I don't give a fuck - and I replaced her books with encyclopedia britanica which cost friggen 9 times more than that twilight bullshit - my cousin loves me to death for getting rid of her daughters books - Twilight teaches young girls not to think for themselves, be doormats and let the men in their lives dictate what they do. Charlie and Rene deserve an award for worst parents of the year. Gosh if only she died when she jumped that cliff - well we can't change what has happened but we can torture the bitch so bring her on.

…Why kill the goldfish? You could have changed its name!

Rogue: It was tainted!

…

Rogue: FYI both VD and Twilight are a knock off of TB - read the books and you'll understand why.

Damon: Pfft. I doubt it!

Edward: Eric can kiss my ass!

Eric: Why don't I rip it open? *Flashes fangs*

Edward: This is my ass and I can do whatever I want with it.

Eric: Watch yourself.

Rogue: Now that, that's off my chest more torturing Edward! *Rogue snaps fingers and Future Actress and Beatrix appear with electric eels, piranhas and sledgehammers* We're going to play a game Edward I ask you a q you answer it, you answer wrong and we hurt you, answer right and we hurt you a little less.

Beatrix: Number one what is your name?

Edward: Edward

Future Actress: *saws off a finger*

Rogue: Let's try that again - what is your name?

Edward: Edward Anthony Masen Cullen!

Future Actress: Wrong again

Edward: WHAT!

Beatrix: *Makes electric eels bite his nipples and shock him*

Rogue: Who the fuck gives a character suck a long name - it's worse than Renesmee Carlie Cullen - who the fuck names a kid Renesmee poor thing - FYI people Renesmee now appears on the baby name website - God save us all...

Beatrix:* Pulling Edwards head back and punching a few of his teeth out* What...is…your...name!

Edward: FAGWARD!

Rogue: That is correct! *Rogue hits Edward over the head with the sledge hammer and Edward's head falls off*

Everyone: …

Rogue: It's time for soccer! I am with Pam, Eric, Damon, and Charity - Bonnie you can't play you're pregnant so you have to do commentary! Charity please lock his head away safely while I burn the body - if Louis get a hold of his head we won't have a ball!

It's staring at me.

Lestat: It's a head honey of course it's staring at you.

Rogue: I can change that if you want? *Holds up a screwdriver*

O.O.

Lestat: I want to take one of his eyes out…*Devilish smirk*

Rogue: Hey Eric... wanna fuck?

Eric: Straight to the point - you're just like me!

Pam: Hey no horizontal mambo without me!

Rogue: I know we'll take Charity with us! I have a special ring that prevents her soul from leaving! Bon-Bon you take over with Alice for a while. *Coughs* Someone hold back Lestat.

Lestat: *Growls*

Katherine: I should take over!

Rogue: You have Doctor Phil.

Katherine: *Turns around*

*Doctor Phil appears as Rogue, Pam, Eric and Charity go to back room*

Doctor Phil: I don't think we scratched the surface of your problems.

Katherine: GO BACK TO HELL YOU BASTARD! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU?

Damon: *Falls* OH COME ON!

Doctor Phil: I think you should go to the rehab house with Dr. Drew.

Katherine: *Runs away* FUCK YOU AND DR. DREW!

Doctor Phil: I have a wife already but you serious have an addiction to threesomes.

Bonnie: …Why do you keep staring at Elena?

Alice: *Smiles* Nothing.

Bonnie: Fine. Let's play goldfish and if you cheat…

Alice: Don't plan to.

A day later

Lestat: *Twitch*

*Rogue and Charity come out wearing superhero costumes*

Lestat: What happened back there?

We were playing superheros and villains, Rogue is superwoman, I'm Jean Grey, Pam was cat woman and Eric was Doc Oc.

Stefan: Why doc oc?

Lestat: Yeah Charity why?

Rogue: Cause the things he does makes you feel like he has 8 dicks! *Rogue and Charity giggle* We should totally do that again!

Yeah this ring rocks my nose didn't even bleed!

Rogue: No sweat sweetheart.

Lestat: *Grabs me and throws me over his shoulder*

*Screams*

Lestat: Stefan wanna join?

Stefan: Haha…no.

Lestat: Take over Alice and Bonnie.

Alice: You have a three?

Bonnie: No.

Alice: *Sighs*

Bonnie: *Smiles*

BereniceAndrea: Ok, ok, so you guys totally misunderstood the 'let's kill everyone' thing i told Katherine... You should know by now who's on my I-FREAKING-LOVE-WOULD-NEVER-HURT list and who I hate/don't care about. So let me make it clear to you:

Katherine: *Wipes off blood* All I heard was the word kill, other than that I really didn't care.

Berenice: *Sighs* I 100% love and has my fangirl heart: Katherine of course,

Elena ( I don't think you suck),

Elena: ABOUT DAMN TIME!

Katherine: *Slaps her in the head* Shut up!

Stefan (I love you, you should know I would NEVER hurt you),

Damon: Do it anyways!

Stefan: Shut up.

Damon (please, have you forgotten about all of our trips to the backroom? *cries*)

Damon: Can you burn Stefan's furry eyebrows.

Stefan: *Kicks Damon in the chest*

Damon: YOU BASTARD…*Falls to the ground*

Stefan: *Smirks*

Tara: You forgot that necklace huh?

Stefan: Yep.

Bonnie (how could I hurt you? You're kick ass!)

Bonnie: *Smiles*

Katherine: *Slaps me in the head*

OW!

Katherine: Your on my list Bonnie.

Why hit me?

Katherine: Because you're a bitch.

Chi of course (I'm your fan girl too)

Thanks.

Lestat: *Glares*

What?

Lestat: Katherine!

Katherine: Just let me have my fun!

Dean... you're hot, but maaaybe sometimes you deserve a little damage (not now though)

Dean: …*Sighs*

Berenice: So I FREAKING HATE/WANNA KILL: Edward of course, Bob the creepy, Louis and Lestat cause... I don't even know.

Lestat: …*Shakes head*

Berenice: AND let's see... Pam, Eric, Tara, Sookie, Sam, Cass I don't really care what happens to you... Alice, I actually like you, but my heart belongs with Team Katherine... Wish you no harm, thou.

Katherine: That will not happen.

Alice: You want to fight again?

Katherine: Bring it pixie!

…Guys please….

Bonnie: Don't worry about them.

Berenice: You seem more worried them Damon about those babies.

Damon: Hey! I care! In my own special way.

Berenice: You're hot but on this show I swear you can be a little stupid sometimes.

Damon: …

Berenice: Hey Jer! welcome to the show! Hope you're enjoying! Backroom with me after its over? *wink*

Jeremy: Sure way not.

Elena: Why don't you get attack?

Jeremy: *Shrugs* Don't know but I'm not taking any chances.

Elena: …

Berenice: And I love Captain Sparrow, of course...

Jack: Thank you love. *Bows*

Berenice: OH, EDWARD DIE! *shoots him with a bazooka found on the street* bwhahahaha *Sets him on fire*

….O.O

Berenice: K Chi, gotta go! Bye! :)

Bye!

LoveHurt1996: Hey guys what's up I'm back!

Katherine: Oh joy *Rolls eyes*

LoveHurts: Shove it up your ass Katherine!

Katherine: I officially don't like you!

LoveHurts: And I officially don't care! *Flicks off Katherine*

Damon: *laughs* That girls got some serious fire I like her.

LoveHurts: Thank you. *winks* I'll always be a team Damon

Bonnie: *Twitch*

LoveHurts: *Smiles sweetly* Hey Edward come here I wanna talk to you for a minute!

Edward: yeah?

LoveHurts: I have a question did you enjoy my electroshock gift the other day?

Edward: That was YOU?

LoveHurts: Yes. Yes it was hahaha Damon did he ever admit to being gay?

Damon: Yes. After about thirty thousand volts but yes.

LoveHurts: The more volts you send through him more fun for you.

Damon: Again, I like you *winks*

LoveHurts: well what's not to like about me?

Katherine: Your inability to flirt properly.

LoveHurts: Screw you Katherine!

Alice: *Smirks*I must say you know how to make one hell of an entrance.

LoveHurts: They say it begins with a boom.

Alice: *laughs*

LoveHurts: Well I'd better go now see y'all soon!

Katherine: I don't need to see you anytime soon.

LoveHurts: Again, shove it up your FAT ASS Katherine.

Katherine: *Tried to jump on LoveHurts but is held back* I'm…gonna…kick you're ASS!

LoveHurts: You wish.

Everyone: O.O.

Damon: *Laughs* She has balls. Me like.

Bonnie: *Slaps him in the back of the head*

LoveHurts: Well bye!

Bye.

Katherine: GET BACK HERE!

BroadwayAngelLyric: School has been kicking my ass so Damon I need a hug.*hugs Damon* Now tell Bonnie, even though she's your baby mama she does NOT have you by the balls.

Damon: *Looks at Bonnie* Bonnie you don't have me by the balls.

Bonnie: …Bastard!

Damon: *Fall to the ground*

Bonnie: Bastard, bastard, bastard, bastard, BASTARD!

Damon: *Crashes deeper in the hole*

….Please calm down Bonnie. It's bad for the baby.

Bonnie: *Glares at me* Let me have my fun.

O.O *Then steps back* O-O-okay.

Broadway: … Elena, how's baby Cullena, any baby who's half human won't sparkle so that's a plus. And if you don't know who the father is, let's go on Maury.

Edward: I want to be apart of my child's life.

Elena: Go away.

Edward: Never.

Broadway: I want to help with the beat down on Bill too. No one fucks with Eric and gets away with it. *cracks knuckles*

Bill: I'm just gonna leave now.

You're pulling a Bella.

Bill: Well when I agreed to be on this show I didn't know that fangirls would be attacking me.

Eric: It's fun though.

Bill: …

Broadway: Oh the ways I will kill you, you bastard….

Damon: *Falls to the ground* BECAREFUL WITH YOUR WORDS!

Broadway: I'm somewhat sorry! Edward, how does it feel to be expecting a child? I hope it kills your sparkly ass.

Edward: Yeah, thank you. *Rolls eyes*

Broadway: Chi, I love that song, The Bird and The Worm, have you ever heard Smother Me or Pretty Handsome Awkward?

I heard Smother me but not the other but I'll give them a listen.

Broadway: Stefan, I had a bad day, can I get a hug since your huge arm muscles are very tempting right now?

Stefan: *Opens arms* I'm always here.

Damon: Because he has no where else to go.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Damon: Grow some balls.

Stefan: Like you should talk. You got beat up by some kids…nuff said.

Damon: FUCK YOU STEFAN.

Sam: …

Broadway: Katherine, I think you should get a makeover so you can stop getting mistaken for Preggers over there.

Katherine: I think so too. What should I get done?

*Mumbles* Get better personality for starters.

Katherine: *Holds up a big black bag* It's not just for vamps.

….

Broadway: For fangirl soccer, I'm team Damon.

Lestat whose team do you want to be on?

Lestat: Anyone that's against yours.

Why….*Slaps forehead*

Lestat: Yep.

Broadway: Pervert who you gonna feel her up during the game?

Lestat: I might feel up Stefan too.

Stefan: …

Broadway: Jack, I brought booze, share with Ke$ha.

Jack: *Smirks* I can't wait for tonight love!

Broadway: What's tonight?

Jack: Booze shower!

Broadway: Booze…showers?

Jack: *Laughs*

Broadway: Gir, I brought...WAFFLES *does waffle dance with Gir*

Gir: Yay! Waffles!

Broadway: Zero is my partner in crime but you can't steal weapons, you need to pay for them or I'll have Bob have your souls for breakfast.

Zero: I have a soul?

Katherine: I know right.

Broadway: Bob, my little pet. *picks Bob up and feeds him a soul through a baby bottle* Its Sam's

Dean: Why you guys keep picking on Sam?

Castiel: They should do it more.

Dean: …

Broadway: Sam, you suck. John, handle your kids.

John: *Pulls out a belt*

Damon: You sure their not going to enjoy it?

John: *Snaps it*

Dean: *Gulps*

John: Come here Dean.

Dean: Why am I first?

John: I have to wait till Sam's soul is in his body. *Chases after Dean*

Dean: *Runs away*

Tara: Bet you it's gonna be a gun fight after.

Broadway: Tara and Sookie how are ya'll staying sane?

Tara: Get the hell out of here.

Sookie: *Nods*

Broadway: Rogue, can I be a helper? I wanna blow stuff up too.

You can't have too many helpers.

Broadway: Bonnie, Damon's trying really hard but you're always holding him back. You should apologize to Father Badass for treating him the way.

Bonnie: I'm not happy.

Damon: What do you want me to do?

Bonnie: Tell me how you feel about me! In front of everyone! *Glares at me*

I thought we were cool!

Damon: Why now?

Bonnie: *Tears up*

JUST DO IT! Before I lost my freakin mind.

Damon: *Wince* Charity…I…

Lestat: This looks like we need to have a guy talk.

Damon: *Glares* I don't need a guy talk, I'll tell you why I can't tell her right on the bat.

Why?

Damon: Because I still have feelings so Chi.

Oh I love you too!

Damon: …Who the fuck are you?

Soul.

Soul: *Soul's wig falls off* H-hey. *Smiles*

*Slaps him* DON'T TAKE OVER WITH OUT WARNING!

Soul: I'M SORRY! *Cries in a corner*

Okay what did I miss?

Damon: I-I have no idea what happened.

Most of us don't know either.

Broadway: *Coughs* Weird. Charity, where does your inspiration for the story come from? And, I hope this story never ends. It always brightens up my day.

It just comes from boredom. *Smiles*

Broadway: Anyway, gotta jet. Peace out, suckahs!

Bye!

MinaFTW: Elena you are such a bitch! You stood up for her self today, and gave Damon a piece of his own medicine. But you are still a selfish jerk!

Elena: *Sighs* What did I do now?

Mina: I'll tell you what you did bitch. Where were you when Lexi was killed? Where were you when Damon attacked Bonnie? Where were you when Vicki died because of him, when Matt's already dysfunctional family fell apart even more because of him? When he tortured Caroline? When grams died because he as obsessed with getting that tomb open? Where were you when the people who loved you the most were suffering so much because of Damon? You didn't care than, you were to busy being friendly with Damon. And I'm glad that Damon snapped Jeremy's neck…

Jeremy: Why? I didn't do anything.

Mina: Because it directly affected you for once, and you finally felt the pain you ignored from others around you! It's about time, thank you Damon for giving Elena a wake up call!

Elena: Why are you thanking him if he's the cause of everyone's problems? I'm not superwoman I can't be everywhere at once. I thought I could help Damon change but I guess it didn't work but don't blame me for the things he did. Blame me for all the stuff I did.

Mina: Bonnie hey girl, I um...accidentally did something.

Bonnie: what did you do?

Mina: I kind of-sold-you-online-as-a-mail-order-bride

Bonnie: Wha...*to angry for words*

Damon: To who?

Mina: It's Damon's fault, please don't blame me!

Damon: You stupid bitch, it is not my fault!

Bonnie: Mina what the hell?

Mina: Ok, so Damon was being a total dick to you the other day after you sang a song about you loving him, so I thought you needed a new man.

Bonnie: You...agh! Grr! *growls*

Mina: Hey before you get your panties in a bunch, I gave you off to Adrian!

Bonnie: You mean Adrian, the hot guy?

Mina: Yeah...

Bonnie: Yes! jumps up and down.

Damon: growls*

Bonnie: tsk, tsk, growling is bad for the babies.

Damon: shut up I'm not the one pregnant!

Bonnie: Yeah but they are still influenced by you!

Adrian: You coming wifey.

Damon: twitch* No! Bonnie is MINE!

Everyone: shock* You do care.

Damon: I never said I loved her, she's just mine.

Bonnie: Hmph, come on HUBBIE let's go.

Damon: She's pregnant you know.

Adrian: Yeah pregnant woman are really horny, so I'm gonna have some fun.

Damon: Writer do something!

Nope. You deal with it yourself.

Damon: I'm going to remember this.

Tell her you love her!

Damon: …

Hi Rogue!

Damon: DON'T YOU IGNORE ME!

Rogue: I'm back!

Edward: *Twitch* We can tell.

*Something flashes through the characters*

Edward: What was that?

Rogue: *Something flashes again and this time it's behind Edward* Guess who...

Edward: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH She's back save me writer *Edward grabs Charity's knees and cries*

Lestat: Back off sparkles *Lestat Kicks Edward away*

Rogue: Hey Charity did you know that Trunk got with Marron - Krillin's kid! O.o Shocking.

Whoa.

Rogue: So gang what you up to? I guess it's time for Ask Rogue so ask away!

Do you listen to J-rock?

Stefan: What do you think I should get Tara?

Damon: How can I get rope?

Bonnie: …How can you keep a host away from one's babies father?

I'm with Lestat!

Bonnie: You two had history.

You do too. I'm not plotting anything. Worry about Katherine trying to rape your sons.

Alice: She got a point. Evil bitch.

Katherine: Thanks.

Rogue: *Rogue plops into big comfy red couch, outs her legs up and smokes a cigar*

Damon: Bonnie come here - Smoke is bad for the babies

Bonnie: Bonnie - Chocolate is bad for the babies, Bonnie - Alcohol is bad for the babies, Bonnie don't go near Eric, Bonnie don't talk to Stefan - I am my own woman and I'll do what I want!

Damon: Bonnie calm down

Bonnie: I am calm! Why don't you be the pregnant one!

*Flash of lighting floods the place Charity scream and Lands in Rogue's lap*

Rogue: Shhh honey it's just Bonnie's power going Loco

Everyone okay?

Bonnie: I feel great!

Damon: Bonnie... where's the baby bump?

Bonnie: O.O

It was right there a minute ago...

Stefan: Damon...

Damon: What!

Stefan: … I think you're wearing the baby bump...

Everyone: O.O

Damon: I fell things kicking me *Damon falls on one knee* Oh God My SPLEEN it kicked my SPLEEN!

Rogue: Oh well *Rogue Shrugs, makes out with Charity, give's Broadway a bomb, Shoots Edward in the ass and disappears in red smoke*

Lestat: …*Claps hands* Puts all magicians to shame.

Broadway: Thanks Rogue *bombs Edward* Bill, wherever you are, I'm waiting on you with my glock.

Bill: …

Nerdyxdorks: You should do one on True Blood next. LOL.

What you guys think?

Damon: *Stares at Eric*

Eric: I'll rape him.

Stefan: As long as it isn't me…I'm cool.

Damon: I'll never save your ass again!

*Chuckles*

RoseJean Belikov Salavtore: Hi Chi (can I call you that?)

Yeah, sure. I have many nicknames so choose your fav.

Damon: Like Bitch.

…No.

RoseJean: *Points at Damon* Is he always like that to you?

*Sighs*

RoseJean: Okay. New reader here I guess. And you know the Blue Collar people? Jeff Foxworthy, Ron White, Bill Engval, and Larry the Cable Guy? Well could you maybe bring them on? Please, please, please!

A showdown between Ron White and Damon Salavtore. Genius!

RoseJean: …I just want you to put them on here.

Okay!

RoseJean: Oh and *hands Stephan bunny* I love you Stephan!

Stefan: Thanks. *Smiles*

Sorry it took so long. I had to finish moving stuff to my new place. Yay! But I want to thank the readers and reviewers for reading this crazy thing and thanks for giving me over 900 reviews. You guys are too awesome for words. I want to thank anneryn7, Breakfastclub85, BeatrixMayfeir, Damon's Bitch 13, FutureActressKS, Quinn And Thierry Pimp, Rogue Assasin, BereniceAndrea, LoveHurts1996, BroadwayAngelLyric, MinaFTW, Nerdyxdorks, and RoseJean Belikov Salvatore for reviews. Peace, love, and chocolate!

=: You Charity?

Yeah.

=: Here you go. *Hands me a paper*

Okay…thanks?

=: Just doing my job.

*Opens the paper and reads it* O.O YOUR FUCKING KIDDING ME!

Lestat: What?

Alice: The show begins.

Damon: Fuck it took forever to change back.

Bonnie: It wasn't that bad. I'm hungry.

Elena: What's wrong?

I got some paternity test papers.

Tara: For who?

Elena.

Elena: *Nervous laugh*

Tara: Can they do that?

If GH can do it I think they can too.

Damon: So who's the dad?

*Reads paper out loud* We know it's twins but only one of them is Edward's.

Edward: The hell!

The other is…Damon.

Everyone expect Alice, Eric, Pam, and Jeremy: WHAT?

Damon: *Thinks back* I didn't have sex with Elena. I had sex with a girl who looked like Elena but with blonde hair.

Bonnie: Hey Damon….

Lestat: *Grabs me* Let's go!

I want to see!

Dean: RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

Bonnie: *Smiles* Your going to die today.

Damon: *Takes a step back* Come on Bonnie, you know….

Bonnie: *Blows up stuff* You where saying?

Damon: …I didn't do it! *Runs away*

Bonnie: GET BACK HERE!

Elena: Bye guys.

Bonnie: You're not off the hook Gilbert!

Elena: *Runs*

Dean: Fan girls are going to be pissed.

*Cries* I know.


	67. Calling BlackStar!

Shows They Can't do together!

Soul Eater!

Damon: What a freaky place.

Stefan: Yeah.

Stein: Who are you?

Stefan: Frankenstein?

Damon: Keep Chi away from him.

Stein: If you guys don't answer my question then I will _DISSECT YOU._

Damon: Just you try.

Maka: STEIN-SENSI ARE YOU OKAY? *Holding a scythe*

Black*Star: Who the hell are these two?

Damon: Fuck, we're in Naruto again aren't we?

Stefan: Naruto was blond this one has blue hair.

Damon: Either way their both loud and both ninjas.

Black*Star: Oh! I know you! Tsubaki transform!

Tsubaki: Okay. *Transforms into a weapon*

Damon: I am soooo lucky Bonnie or Katherine can't do that.

Stefan: *Chuckles*

Maka: Oh!

Scythe/Soul: What's wrong Maka?

Maka: They don't have souls!

Kid: *Falls to the ground and cries* LOOK AT THAT BASTARD'S SHIRT!

Stefan: Huh? *Looks over at Damon* It looks like a third tried to dress himself.

Damon: Fuck you Stefan.

Black*Star: I think we should kill them.

Kid: BUTTON YOUR SHIRT THE RIGHT WAY!

Damon: …No.

Kid: WHY DO YOU TORTUE ME SO! WHY!

Damon: *Points at Kid*…Is he always like this.

Liz: *Sighs* Yep.

Patty: *Laughs*

Stefan: Is everyone crazy here?

Stein: *Twitch*

Soul: Maka I agree with Black*Star, we should fight them.

Black*Star: Now wait Soul, now that I think about it I think we should piss on them.

Damon & Stefan: The fuck you not.

Maka: Ew.

Soul: *Jumps from Maka's hand and lands to the ground in a shape of a boy* I think so too. We should shit on them too.

Maka: STOP THINKING ALIKE!

Black*Star: *Tosses Tsubaki in the air and watches her turn back into a girl* Turn away! You don't want to see God's penis yet.

Stefan: …

Black*Star: *Pulls down him pants*

Damon & Maka: *Kicks him in the head*

Soul: No cool.

Damon: Don't you dare piss on me you little brats!

Stein: I'm still here.

Damon: We don't care!

Stein: *Creepy smile* Really? I really want to dissect you. Do I have to fight to get what I want vampire?

Stefan: *Takes a step back* Damon, let it go. He's not right in the head.

Damon: Grows some balls Stefan!

Stefan: GROW A FUCKING BRAIN! His clothes are stitched together, that should give you a clue that something is wrong. For God's sake! He has a bolt coming head!

Damon: Like he can kick my ass. *Gets in a fighting stance*

Maka: *Looks at Stefan* You made the right choice.

Black*Star: Can I pee on his dead body?

Tsubaki: *Sighs and shakes head* Black*Star.

Kid: I'm unworthy! I'm a dirty, dirty pig and I deserve to die!

Stefan: He needs help…bit time.

Maka & Soul: *Nods*

Damon: Let's go old man.

Stein: *Evil smile* I'm happy that I got a new test subject. *Evil laugh*

* * *

I should bring him on the show. *Sighs happily*

Damon: So you can dry hump him? No thanks.

Stefan: You're mad because you lost.

Damon: I wanted hand to hand combat. I didn't know he was the human taser!

You can't judge a person's fighting style just by looking at them.

Stefan: The guy did it all without breaking his cigarette.

Damon: Shut up you bastard! *Looks around*

Stefan: I took it off. It wasn't funny.

Damon: You have a heart. *Rolls eyes*

Stefan: Like you can talk. Have you talked to Bonnie lately?

Damon: She tried to claw my eyes out.

What about Elena?

Damon: *Shrugs* She's been pretty okay.

You know this show is a comedy and not a drama.

Damon: What, you're on Bonnie's side too? I never asked to be paired with her in the first place.

*Glares* She's the mother of your children. Besides I'm on no one's side.

Damon: *Sighs* I need a break from this whole mess. Send me to the Playboy mansion for one day.

Stefan: And get them pregnant?

Damon: Shut up! So where is everyone?

*Looks at watch* Late I guess.

Damon: Fine with me because I don't feel like defending myself over and over again. I'm being my playboy self. Not like anyone cares about how I feel.

Want me to summon Dr. Phil?

Damon: No.

Dr. Dre?

Damon: …What?

He's a good listener and he did wonders with Slim!

Damon: I don't feel like being an angry rapper but I might drop a line.

Stefan: Where's Tara?

Where's Lestat?

Damon: Why can't Eric stay away like this?

Eric: Because I love you so much.

Damon: *Twitch* I hate you.

Why don't you become gay?

Bonnie: Solves my problems!

Alice: Hi Chi!

Um…why are you guys dressed up?

Alice: A costume party!

Today?

Elena: *Smiles* Yep.

Castiel: More costumes. *Sighs*

John: I'm fine as I am.

Bill: I have a bad feeling today.

Bella: You think.

Edward: Bitch. *Glares at Bella*

Bella: *Slaps Edward*Stop being a bitch before calling me one.

Tara: Oh fun.

Got anything for me?

Alice: *Holds up a bag* Yep.

Katherine: You can always go as a dead person.

…I want to live.

Katherine: Whatever.

Okay. Let's start the party!

Crowley: Sorry I'm late.

No problem.

Lestat: …

What?

Lestat: Nothing.

Hour later

Welcome to the show with the long ass title that doesn't really make sense now a days. *Dressed tight black dress and foxs ears*

Damon: You have a furry complex. Did you ever fuck dogs?

EW!

Bonnie: Well she fucked you.

Damon: You did too.

Bonnie: I bet everyone did.

Damon: You know what! Right now I bet I'll be singing to her because some fangirl wrote it down!

Edward: I bet 50.

Damon: Come on people! I am not sappy!

I know why Bonnie's mad, I would be too. Finally confessing your feelings to someone you love then find out that they fucked someone else.

Alice: Who else that reminds you of?

Stefan: Staying out of this.

Ron: I just got here. I'm just happy I didn't do it.

Hey Ron!

Damon: Why's the old guy here?

Ron: I'm not old. I just had loose flesh. *Kicks Damon in the knee* I'm still bad ass then you.

Damon: You old bastard!

Okay. *Smiles* Let's start.

FutureActressKS: What is this? Jerry Springer?

Ron: That's what I thought…need beer to watch that. *Dressed as a cop*

*Laughs*

Ron: I'm goin to walk outside and flip off cops to see what they would do.

Alice: I want to come! *Dressed as a hot nurse*

Please heal my…

Lestat: Try it. *Dressed as a bunny*

Stefan: …You just had to ruin my day huh?

*Pouts* Alice.

FutureActress: So tense… Damon you are amazing! *kiss*

Bonnie: …

FutureActress: Gir *hands him waffles* You're my fav. *hugs* but I have a feeling I'm not on Bonnie's good side.

Bonnie: *Growls* I don't care.

Gir: Yay!

Edward: I want one too. *Dressed up as a lion*

FutureActress: Okay! *Tosses him one*

Edward: *Catches and eats it* …*Drops to the floor holding his throat*

FutureActress: DIE!

That's new.

Tara: Yep. *Dressed as a Princess*

Stefan: ...*Dressed as a wolf*

Seth: Okay.

FutureActress: Edward what should I do to you today?

Edward: *coughs up blood* You already did something!

FutureActress: That was just a warm up. Suggestions anyone?

Bella: Throw him in hell!

Edward: …

FutureActress: *Twitch* You shouldn't say anything Bella.

Bella: …

Damon: I say rip his skin off and let Bob wear it.

Bob: I'm not gay.

Dean: Could have fooled me. *Dresses as Fonzie*

Happy days!

Dean: You watch that?

Nope but I all I know is that the Fonzs is hot!

Sam: …I have to dress up like this why? *Wearing a long ball gown*

O/O.

Sam: I know that look.

Naughty thoughts.

Castiel: *Dressed as Troy* Pervert.

FutureActress: Edward. *Shoves a metal stake in his stomach*

Edward: O.O You…evil…*Falls to the ground*

FutureActress: *Smiles* Jack you look so lonely over there. *hands him booze*

Jack: Thanks! *Dressed…as himself*

Jacob: Zero points for originality. *Dressed as a cowboy*

Damon: The way he dresses it's like Halloween every day.

Jack: I am too drunk to tell you how …*Hiccups* fucked up are.

Damon: Hum?

FutureActress: Elena even though I like Katherine. I could never hate you!

Elena: *Blushes* Thanks. *Dressed…

Bonnie: As a slut.

…

Elena: I'm dressed as a fairy princess.

Bonnie: I should dress up as a bear and maul your ass!

You gonna stop that Damon?

Damon: Pfft. I learned my lesson. Being nice takes you nowhere.

I want to bring Princess Tiana or Mulan to the show. *Smirks*

Lestat: I bet you do.

I should dress up Tiana for Halloween. What you think?

Lestat: Don't you hate wearing long dresses.

…Stop ruining my fun. *Puff out cheeks*

FutureActress: Stefan, Ever since the premiere of season 2 of TVD, I swear you've gotten even hotter! *hands him a purple bunny*

Stefan: …I don't think I can look at a bunny the same ever again. *Glares at Lestat* Thank you for destroying my innocents.

Lestat: Your innocent?

Stefan: …

Tara: *Laughs*

FutureActress: Gir what to do now?

Gir: Let's HUG!

Oh no.

Jack: *Takes a step back*

Damon: Oh come on. What is this little guy gonna do?

Gir: *Hugs Damon*

Damon: …

*Hear bones crack*

Damon: I'm…dying…here.

Bonnie: Hug harder Gir!

…

FutureActress: Please don't kill him.

You dodged the bullet on that one.

FutureActress: Yep…*Looks around the room* To anyone that hates Edward I say we come up with a plan to destroy Edwierdo!

Bella: OKAY!

FutureActress: Okay new plan, let's add Bella too.

Bella: *Sighs*

FutureActress: Edward I could totally take you down in a fight. Me Vs. Edwierdo.

Edward: Bring it bitch!

FutureActress: *Twitch* What?

Edward: You heard what I said.

FutureActress: *Laughs then pulls out a chainsaw* Let's play Edweirdo! *Turns it on*

You make a cute Jason.

FutureActress: Should I be offended to that?

*Shakes head real fast*

FutureActress: Jacob and Seth you guys look lonely over there, too.

Jacob: Yeah. Because people keep forgetting about us.

Seth: Yeah. Ms. Host.

Jacob: How can you call yourself Team Jacob girl if you keep forgetting about me?

I just look at your abs, other than that I don't really care.

Seth: *Laughs* Ouch.

FutureActress: Damon I Forever will be your fan girl, no matter what.

Damon: Alright!

FutureActress: LoveHurt1996 you for sure fit in! *high five* Anyone that hates Edward is on my good side.

I told you guys.

Edward: Evil…evil…

FutureActress: *Evil smirk* When I'm done with this I'm going to skin you alive.

Edward: O.o

FutureActress: Bonnie BFFS?...okay I'm guessing not so much. Ever since I started reviewing, I've been Team Damon. That Damon, when I come on this, whisked me off to the backroom when I asked. Good times, good times.

Bonnie: Ha, ha, not helping.

FutureActress: I do have to say Bonnie that Adrian is really hot!

Bonnie: I know right!

Damon: Oh cuss me out when I'm with other women but that guy comes along and everything is all right.

Adrian: Yep.

Damon: Burn in hell Romeo.

Adrian: How did you guess my costume?

Stefan: *Chuckles*

Damon: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO HEAR IT! *Glares at Stefan*

FutureActress: Stefan. *Hands him a basket of bunnies*

Tara: Where are you keeping them?

Katherine: Maybe I should start killing them again?

Stefan: Stay away from them.

FutureActress: *throws a shoe at Edward, even though it doesn't hurt, but just to annoy him* DIE!

Edward: Stop throwing shit!

FutureActress: *uses blowtorch on Edward* Yeah, I really had to get that out of my system.

Edward: *Screams*

FutureActress: Elena so Team Stefan or Team Damon?

Elena: *Nervous smile* Team Damon, I guess.

FutureActress: Chi best writer ever!

*Blushes* Thanks.

Hannah: Hey guys! Got a costume for me?

Dean: We could work something out.

Hannah: *Places hands on her hips* Dean why do you always sneak out in the middle of the night to see me? *whispers* Is it because Sam doesn't know?

Sam: Well I know now!

Dean: *Sighs*

Eric: Still in 'Denial' John?

John: Yep.

Ron: I would be too.

Hannah: Elena of course I'm a fan of yours!

Elena: You guys are so nice to me. *Smiles*

Hannah: Oh and about that question Damon, If it's a simple Betty Crocker thing, I can bake it. Why do you ask? Do you want some weed brownies?

Damon: You read me like a book.

Can vampires get high on weed?

Hannah: They can get drunk so I guess so. *Turns to Edward* Edward I live in Narnia. *eye roll* Like hell I'm telling you where I live.

Edward: I'll find you and…

Hannah: And what? Not a got damn thing.

That's my mom's catch phase!

Hannah: Bob you want my soul? In your wildest wet dreams you crazy mofo.

Bob: Why is your soul wet?

Hannah: …Never mind. Jack: I think Edward has your booze bunny. You should take it back. *evil smirk*

Jack: O.O! *Points a gun at Edward* Give…back…me…booze…bunny. NOW!

Edward: I don't have your…

Jack: *Shots Edward in the head*

O.O.

Hannah: *Claps hands* Show him who's boss!

Edward: *Runs*

Jack: *Chases at him, firing his gun*

Hannah: Cas & Sam I like you two together. Now be Ryan and Sharpay from High School Musical and sing Bop to the Top!

Castiel: …Who's going to be who?

Sam: Just because I'm dressed as a girl doesn't mean I'm that dog sounding person. I think that's a girl.

It is.

Sam: Oh.

Castiel: Why do I have to sing?

Hannah: Because you didn't do it last time.

Get it over with guys.

Castiel: Call troy!

Sam: Why?

Castiel: Dressed as him, duh?

Sam: I fucking hate you.

Castiel: I feel the same way.

Hannah: Play the music!

*Music starts playing*

Sam: *Twitch and mumbles* I believe in dreaming, shooting for the stars.

Castiel: Whatever to be number one, you got to raise the bar.

Sam: *Sings* Castiel is an asshole, I wanna stab him in the face.

Castiel: I'm just gonna snap Sam's neck.

Sam & Castiel: Bop, bop, bop, bop to the top!

Sam: Grab his eyes out his skull!

Castiel: Even if he trys I'll come back to life and zap him with a lighting bolt.

Everyone: …

I don't think that's how that song goes.

Hannah: …*Slaps forehead*

Wow.

Hannah: Edward. I. Hate. You. *chops off fingers and chases with a blow torch*

Edward: *Screams*

Dean: That's my girl!

Seth: So much for being a lion.

Jacob: He's a pussy, so he got it somewhat right.

FutureActressKS: Hey! Chi you should totally bring Caroline on here!

Okay. At first I didn't like her but seeing her as a vampire changed my mind. *Swoons*

Damon: Fucking weirdo.

Was she a vampire in the books?

Damon: I'm from the show, how the hell am I suppose to know?

Vamp123: Bonnie, awe too boys and a girl bet their gunna look cute. So when's the Baby Shower ;)

Bonnie: Don't know yet. Still thinking about it.

Vamp: How far along are you? And last question when's the ... WEDDING LMFAO JUST KIDDING! Unless Damon is getting any ideas *wink, wink *

Damon: I'm not.

Bonnie: *Fake laugh* Who wants to marry a guy who could get a pole pregnant!

Damon: Maybe I did? *Fake surprise*

You guys need your own show.

Damon: *Sigh* I'm not happy.

Bonnie: …

Vamp: Elena you're on my list ... Right below Edward Mwahaha O.O Wtf *uses mind trick*

Elena: *Falls to her knees and scream*

…

Vamp: Stefan *growls* Damn you's a sexxy Vamp ;) *licks lips* you can bite me any day. *Winks*

Tara: *Looks at Stefan*

Stefan: *Blush*

Tara: Huh.

Stefan: …

Vamp: Where's Edward ?

Edward: *Edward Appears *

Vamp: Oh there you are.

Edward: What the hell do you want ?

Vamp: *Pouts* I just wanted to say i was sorry about that mind trick do you forgive me...?

Edward: *Blush* …Okay?

Vamp: *Uses Mind trick and smirk*

Edward: *Screams in agony * O.O!

Vamp: That Never Get's old. *Laughs*

Edward: WTF you said sorry?

Vamp: Pfft. To you. Never. Now why would i do that, I don't like your Nasty greasy Rapist ass * uses mind trick again* Haha yeah never getting old.

Edward: *Rolls on the ground, screaming*

Poor guy.

MinaFTW: Damon! Elena! You whore! Agh! How dare you cheat on Bonnie with her...it! *Points to Elena* I'm now referring to her as IT, she doesn't get a name, she's just a thing now!

Damon: *Sighs* And the saga continues.

Mina: IT you dumb bitch you will never be loved, and will die from STDs, I hate you, *bitch slaps IT all the way to Alaska*

Elena: OW!

Mina: *Turns to Damon* Damon! You are gonna get it now. *claps hands*

Damon: *Pats himself down* Nothings missing on me.

Bonnie: Speak for yourself. * Bonnie's pregnant bump is gone*

HOW!

Bonnie: What the hell

Damon: What did you do with my kids?

Mina: You don't get your kids back if you don't admit your feelings to Bonnie.

Damon: …Pfft good luck.

Do it for your kids!

Damon: You want to know what I feel about Bonnie?

Adrian: Bon Bon aren't we still married?

Damon: DON'T YOU IGNORE ME!

Bonnie: Yeah! I forgot about you HUBBIE, and hey I'm not pregnant anymore so we could do all sorts of crazy things.

Damon: *Twitch* I want to punch someone. Stefan come here.

Stefan: *Looks at Damon* Pfft.

Adrian: You won't mind if I get you pregnant Bon-Bon.

Damon: Hell no! She is having my babies, Mina do something!

Mina: No, you are a jerk, how dare you cheat on Bonnie, you don't get your babies back unless you say it!

Who is Adrian?

Alice: Don't know.

Adrian: *Gets into his expensive sports car with Bonnie riding shot gun*

Bonnie: Bye Damon! I'm with Mr. hot vampire guy who is rich, cute and funny! Wait? What did I see in you anyways?

Damon: Bonnie wait, you love me remember? *Twitch*

Bonnie: What was that Demon, Oh Adrian you are so hot!

Damon: It's Damon!

Bonnie: Adrian, Adrian! *makes out with him*

Damon: Grr... this is it I'm gonna say it...

Eric: What happened to the 'I'm not soft' speech?

Damon: Shut up.

LoveHurts1996: Hey guys what's up? And a special hello to you Katherine. *smirks*

Katherine: Die in a ditch already.

LoveHurts: *Twitch*

Damon: And so the fire returns me like.

LoveHurts: *smiles* I like you too Damon but before this there's something I must do. Katherine you said you wanna fight me you little whore?

Katherine: Thanks for the compliment. No one can do it better than me.

LoveHurts: *Smirks*

Katherine: Your smirk pisses me off. That's it we're settling this. NOW.

LoveHurts: Alright. I'll see you in hell bitch I hope you perish.

This never turns out well.

Stefan: Hell no it won't.

Katherine and LoveHurts: ~in huge catfight~

Damon: Okay judging on the look of it right now LoveHurts is actually winning.

LoveHurts: *Hits Katherine in the back of the head with a glass vase*

Katherine: *out cold*

Bonnie: What in the hell was the purpose of that?

LoveHurts: She should be out for at least the next 2 hours giving me and a few friends much time to beat her to a pulp. Also it's much easier for me because she can't fight back. Now who wants a swing?

Seth: *Holds up his hand*

Stefan: What the hell its not gonna hurt me.

Damon: I need some serious revenge on the bitch and this is a great way to get it. Good idea princess.

LoveHurts: Thank you Damon. Anyone else?

Alice: I'm in!

She was holding a knife over my head the other day so why not?

Bonnie: I'm in.

LoveHurts: Elena? Are you in?

Elena: Why wouldn't I be?

LoveHurts: excellent! We've got and hour and a half. Let's make this bitch suffer!

~an hour and a half later~

LoveHurts: Okay it's been an hour and a half times up! She's gonna wake up any minute so let's get the hell out of here.

Damon: You know, you're always the one with a plan I like that.

LoveHurts: Thank you Damon.

Katherine: *Wakes up and groans*

Everyone: Ew! What the hell is up with your face!

Katherine:*screams* What the hell did you do to me you bitch? * trys to tackle LoveHurts*

LoveHurts: Oh shit someone hold this psychopath down!

Stefan: *holds Katherine back*

Alice: you always have amazing plans LoveHurts. Now knock her out again.

LoveHurts: Thank you Alice. *Laughs*

Damon: Yeah good plan today keep it up.

LoveHurts: For you Damon, anything. Backroom?

Damon: Hell yes

Bonnie: *twitch*

* one hour later*

LoveHurts: I'm back!

Hey can you help me get Lestat out of my flipping face for good?

Stefan: I think it'd help both of us.

LoveHurts: I don't have a plan yet but I will soon

Alice: Can't wait to see how this one will play out.

LoveHurts: I'll do anything to help Chi.

Lestat: *Pouts* I annoy you Chi?

S-stop looking at me like that. *Takes a step back*

Lestat: *Puppy eyes*

Oh crap.

Stefan: COVER YOUR EYES!

*Runs away*

Lestat: I love you. *Chases after me*

KYA!

LoveHurts: …*Laughs* I'll help out anytime. I'd better go I've got some serious planning to do. Bye Katherine.

Katherine: Goodbye. And good riddance.

LoveHurts: Oh go burn in hell.

Damon's Bitch 13: Damn right fangirls are going to be pissed*calms down* sorry got my braces tightened today (with a new wire!) and I have my period don't mess with me today!

O-Okay.

Damon's Bitch: Crowley:*starts making out with him* *sigh* I'm your new fangirl!

Crowley: *Smirk* I didn't know why you tried to deny me.

Damon's Bitch: Dean, how's your butt after what your dad did to u?

Dean: I'm trying to forget.

Damon's Bitch: John u gonna punish Sam now?

John: *Pulls out a box of belts* Come here Sam.

Sam: *Shakes head*

John: *Pulls out a brown belt with a big buckle* Now.

Sam: *Runs away*

Johns: GET BACK HERE! *Chases after him*

Dean, Sam, and John: I'm a demon now show whatcha going to do about it?*eyes flash black*

Dean: You didn't kill anyone yet. So live on…I guess. Well if you kill Edward that doesn't matter.

Edward: Fuck you DEAN!

Dean: *Shrugs*

Damon's Bitch: Would u accept my friend request if and friended u on face book? If so what name should I look for?

Sure. It's Charity Morris. I don't have a photo on my profile yet.

Damon's Bitch: I'm sorry Damon but I'm now Crowley's bitch for 5 chapters!

Damon: Oh.

Damon's Bitch: Crowley: What can I do for you master?

Crowley: Change your name. It's horrible.

Damon: *Twitch* Her name is fine as it is.

Crowley: I don't want her to get your dochebaggyness.

Damon: I'm going to kill him.

Crowley: Try if you want. *Smirks*

Damon's Bitch: Castiel I'm your bitch to any requests?

Castiel: Never ask me to sing or dress up.

Damon's Bitch: That's it?

Castiel: I'm thinking about it.

Damon's Bitch: Chi *sigh* I'm bored and u need to update more!

I'll try to do it as fast as I can.

Damon & Lestat: I doubt it.

…

Damon's Bitch: Everyone (including reviewers) I will join any group to take over the world, kill/torturing Edward, and just about any other torturing or being evil! I will not be mean to Stefan though cause I know he has some haters.

Well Edward, you're good for something. You can bring girls together.

Edward: Through hate for me.

Yep!

Edward: You're not helping.

Sorry.

Damon's Bitch: And now for my questions

Damon: Yeah. What is the best way to kill a fairy?

IDK . Say I don't believe in fairies like in Tinkerbelle I guess

Lestat: Why don't you humble this bastard?

*sigh* Fine your lucky I'm mean today! *strikes him (not Lestat) with lightning then apologizes* Happy?

Damon: *Blows out smoke* I hate today.

Damon's Bitch: *Smiles* So anybody got any questions?

Crowley: What class do you hate? I can kill the teacher.

….Can you kill one of mines.

Stefan: Now you have the Government of to us.

Again!

Damon: *Raises eyebrow* Again?

Tara: What you do?

N-nothing. Um hello! What's your favorite greeting?

Eric: *Chuckles*

RoseJean Belikov Salvatore: *Whispers to Chi* Can i borrow Stephan?

Sure. You might have to fight Tara for him. *Nervous laugh*

RoseJean: Huh?

Tara: You heard her.

…Please no fighting fangirls.

Bonnie: If I can't do it, you can't either.

Tara: …

RoseJean: OOOkay. Still awaiting Ron White!

Ron: Right here. *Drinks from bottle*

Why can't you be my Dad?

Ron: …*Laughs* I'll fuck your world up.

….

Quinn And Thierry Pimp: GIR! *hugs Gir* Gir Is The Shiz! My best friend has a Gir book bag and I have a Gir doll!

Gir: Hug?

Quinn: Not right now.

Gir: I want a hug!

Bonnie: Go hug Damon.

Gir: *Turns to Damon* Hug?

Damon: Not again! *Runs away*

Gir: GIVE ME HUG!

Pam: Well that was creepy.

Katherine: Yep.

Quinn: Hehe it's our new obsession that and dead animals!

Alice: I should get one of those.

Stefan: Alice, it's not food.

Alice: …

Quinn: Yeah Im like really happy me and my boyfriend broke up today so yeah my ex now hehe me and my friends have a reason to celebrate now!

Bonnie: You and me both.

Damon: *Rolls his eyes*

Quinn: I agree no violence...NOT! Violence is awesome!

Jacob: Yeah it make things interesting.

BUT NOT IN MY ROOM!

Quinn: You should just give up on it.

*Cries in the corner* I know but…*Cries harder*

Lestat: *Pats my head* There, there.

Quinn: You haven't heard of BrokenCyde *faints* NO WAY! BrokenCyde is Crunk! That is all we listen to all the time with my friends.

I'm not really caught up in new bands and stuff. I really haven't been watching TV lately. Not by choice though.

Quinn: Chi you know what kills me...Jessica Simpson she's...creepy...

I think she's okay. Not the best but now I think about it there are a lot of creepy people besides her, who kind of looks like a retarded angel….I'm going to hell for saying that am I?

Damon: Join the club.

Quinn: I've never seen Inuyasha, what is it about anyways?

Inuyasha is a about a modern girl who fell down a well and found out that she went back in time to Federal Era of Japan where Demons and Human live together…

Riley: Your stuff is boring and suckish. I'll explain. This dumb broad fell down a well, and back in time or some shit like that. This dumb broad finds a dude with dog ears in a tree…

But Riley.

Riley: I'm explainin here! Anyways, she gets the dog dude out of the tree and shit. That's all I got because I thought it was stupid.

*Sighs* Well to wrap it up. The girl, Kagome, broke the jewel, which was embedding inside her, into a many pieces, so her and Inuyasha go around and look for the pieces.

Riley: You explainin sucks.

You messed me up!

Bill: I might want to inform you that you should look it up on Google.

Bella: No shit Sherlock.

Bill: You have a filthy mouth.

Bella: And you have a small dick. Point one for Bella.

Quinn: Okay? You should put Damon and Stefan in GLEE me myself hates it, musicals ugh, im sure it would be pure torture!

I already did that in one of my earlier chapters. I think it was my favorite out of here.

Quinn: ...Why do I feel like getting raped...-note to self Do not eat for a week- I think someone poisoned me...yet...yeah...

…I hope you're okay.

Quinn: I'm fine…I think.

Damon: Stop sniffing glue.

Quinn: Shut up. Edward, I have the perfect torture for you!

Edward: Oh crap.

Quinn: *drags Elena by hair over to Edward* Get to kill two birds with one stone!

Elena: WHY ME!

Quinn: *grabs duck tape, and rope*

30 minutes later

Quinn: *Elena and Edward are naked and tied to together by the rope and mouths are shut* So Stefan you enjoy watching this! Someone hold him back!

Stefan: *Raises an eyebrow* For what?

Quinn: Elena. Sooo...Bitch your pregnant? *grins evilly* *uses demon powers on her stomach* Almost forgot about my demon powers...Now those miniature bitches inside of you will come out mutated just imagine it! Almost as ugly as Edward! *claps in amusement*

…

Quinn: MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Alice: …

Quinn: Katherine. Easy, kill Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew *kills them* I hate doctors they always try to give me some pills hehe then die...

Katherine: Why don't you kill them for me. Like I need this bastard ruining my clothes.

Quinn: So please tell me you don't like Stefan on here...it disgusts me that you like him on the show only reason I semi don't hate him now is because of that.

Stefan: *Sighs*

Katherine: He's not that cling.

Elena: Beg to differ.

Quinn: No one cares Elena!

Elena: Oh.

Quinn: Rogue, Back away freaky.

*Chuckles*

Quinn: Hehe you know I think I might surprise everyone *grins* Hey chi *note Im drunk* Wanna have a threesome with Rouge and me? *falls down drunk*

O/o Sure.

Alice: Perv.

Proud of it!

Alice: *High fives me*

Quinn: I have to say it...Good job on the torture for Edward goddess that was just wonderful!

See Edward.

Edward: They are all just evil bitches!

Alice: They are going to kill you. *Shakes head*

Quinn: Lestat…. You're kind of creepy...but a jot creepy!

Lestat: Thank…you?

Quinn: Jeremy, Ooohh share your secret with me trust me I could help a lot with any plan you have.

Jeremy: *Places his finger to his lips* My plan is slowly playing out. *Smirk*

When did you become and evil mastermind?

Jeremy: I think Damon is rubbing off on me.

Bonnie: Don't get two girls pregnant. *Looks at me* Are you pregnant too?

O/.o No.

Bonnie: …

Quinn: What is Bonnie gonna do?

Jeremy: Probably kill Damon, take his skin off and stretch it somewhere.

Quinn: Cool. Sooo...Did you have fun in the backroom? *grins*

Jeremy: I did…

Quinn: *drags to backroom*

Three hours later.

Quinn: *Pulls down on her shirt* Jack, hey, *hands bottle of rum over* Lets have a drinking party and then some *still drunk* Your like awesome hehehe.

Jack: Thanks love.

Quinn: Bonnie how did you get pregnant with Damon's babies? That's like a disgrace to witches! I can say that cause my Mother is a witch and Dad is a Demon I know a LOT about a disgrace you see.

Bonnie: Ask Mina, Rogue and a bunch of other fangirls.

Damon: Don't blame them, you wanted it.

Bonnie: Now I want you too die.

Damon: Oh my heart is breaking.

Bonnie: You don't have one!

Stefan: This is really stupid. I really have a bad feeling Chi.

Me too.

Quinn: Hopefully your babies don't come out wrong! KICK ELENS ASS MAKE THE BITCH DIE! *puts cigarette down*

Bonnie: Oh, I'll get mines. Just you wait.

Quinn: Alice, What are you up too?

Alice: Trying not to kill Jasper.

Quinn: What he do?

Alice: I don't even want to talk about it. *Twitch, twitch*

Quinn: Im confused Chi what happened to Bob? Did he die? O.o is he raping people...My friend said she got touched last night...did Bob do it O.O

Bob: Damn, you caught me.

Quinn: O.O YOU FUCKING FREAK!

Bob: I admit it.

*Shakes head*

Quinn: Sam...I want to rape you...

Sam: *Spits a water* Huh?

Quinn: *Winks* You heard me.

Sam: O/O

Quinn: Yeah I almost killed the dog but my mom came hime...Oohh look its 12:10 pm almost time to start a fire on my moms bed...forget that...yeah hehehe I have to go do homework and try not to eat and watch south park...and not do homework so bye!

Yay South Park!

Stefan: *Twitch* Evil fat bastard.

Still don't like Cartman?

Stefan: When will he die?

Not sure.

BeatrixMayfeir: Yay Inuyasha! But I wanted Sesshomaru! Ow Chi! You and Lestat are so cute! Let's do a threesome! And thank you Chi I'm glad you've appreciated my lesson! So here the second one!

Actually I wanted to bring Sesshomaru on the show. He's too hot!

Lestat: …Do I have to kill him too?

O.O Who else did you kill?

Lestat: No one.

SHOUTA!

Lestat: That bastard is over seas. I'm not going that far.

MC Hammer?

Lestat: You like him.

Right.

Beatrix: *Changes in the hot teacher outfit* Ok my original plans for this lesson were to show an autopsy using Elena, but since one of her children is Damon's and I don't want anything happen to him I decided to use Edward instead!

Edward: Shit.

Beatrix: *Snaps fingers and Edward is chained at an autopsy table* Cas hand me the Bistoury!

Castiel: Okay? *Hands her whatever that is*

Beatrix: Ok people, we start with a Y-shaped incision to open his chest *Edward starts scream* ah music for my ears! After this we have to remove the sternum and the ribs to expose the organs! Cas please give me the shears.

Castiel: *Hands her the shears*

Beatrix: *cuts the ribs* Now we can remove the organs! Stefan here's the heart: squash it with an hammer! Pam take the lungs: burn them! Sam you can have the liver: eat it!

Sam: I don't want to eat it.

Beatrix: Do as you are told. Now.

Sam: *Snuffles as he eats it*

Poor Sam.

Beatrix: Oh Damon don't worry I'll give you the brain as soon as I open his head if I find it of course! *uses a saw to cut Edward's head* I knew it! His brain had been damaged by all Bella's bullshit!

Bella: …

Beatrix: Sorry Damon I'll give you the entire head and you can put it on a stake!

Damon: Yes.

Beatrix: *Driiin* Lesson's over! Damon since you've refused to study I have to punish you! *drugs Damon in the backroom* Chi can I take Daddy D, please? Thank you!

O.O Okay?

*screams starts to come from behind the closed doors but after a while becomes moans of pleasure*

Hours later.

Damon: *Comes out walking funny*

Beatrix: That was fun.

Stefan: *Raises an eyebrow* What did she do to you?

Damon: *Walks away and blushes* Nothing!

Beatrix: Sorry Eric I had to do it *evil smirk* it was fun! Thanks for Daddy D Chi! He had a lot of fun too! Bye everyone.

Bonnie: Go away. For good.

MinaFTW: *Mina comes back in*

Hi.

Mina: I forgot *huggles Kagome.* Girl we are like sisters, I learned all my bad ass magic from you.

Kagome: Thanks.

Mina: *Touches Inuyashas's ears* So soft, so cute.

Inuyasha: Please stop doing that.

Mina: Okay I'm done now, chaio.

Bye!

Vie: What's the haps on the craps everyone?

Too much drama. *Sighs*

Vie: I can tell. Bonnie, I'm so proud that you admitted your feelings towards Damon and with song no less...You Go Girl! Plus, love, love, love the song! **Vie gives Bonnie a whole jar of pickles and a gallon of Heavenly Hash Chocolate Ice cream**

Bonnie: *Takes the ice cream* Thank you!

Vie: But, I have to say that all the twitching and being stressed can harm the babies and we don't want that. Damon you really need to stop being a ladies man and start focusing on parenthood and being a father.

Damon: *Twitch* I'm being me, that's all.

Vie: Chi, Me thinks you should bring Tyler on and put some more werewolf spice on the show. He may even give Bonnie some much needed attention. Plus, the boy is all kinds of fine.

Seth: Great. Another one.

It'll be…

Jacob: Don't say it. That bastard comes starting shit we'll finish it.

…Okay?

Vie: *Laughs* BTW, triplets, wow...Damon, you really can lay the pipe! I want some...**winks at Damon**

Bonnie: Don't forget the one with Elena.

Damon: You will never let me live that down.

Their like an old couple.

Vie: Tara, how do you like being on the show so far? I know these people here can be menacing and crazy but I get the feeling that Stefan is making this place bearable. **Vie gives Stefan a fox with a straw in it**

Stefan: Thanks.

Tara: Yeah him and somewhat Chi is making this bearable. Too many crazy people here. Makes me look like a fucking saint.

Vie: *Nods*

Stefan: Please stop staring at me.

Lestat: But you're cute.

Stefan: …*Mumbles under his breath* I hope you die in your sleep.

Lestat: Will you be next to me.

Stefan: Keep bring the questions Vie.

Vie: Chi, Inuyasha was brilliant; you need to bring him on the show. I love him, there's something about a man with long white hair and cute fuzzy ears. **Vie rubs Inuyasha's ears**

Inuyasha: Please stop doing that. *twitch*

Vie: Oh you love it.

Inuyasha: …

Vie: Hey Jack. Even though you look a bit dirty, I still love ya. **Vie gives Jack six bottles of his favorite RUM**

Jack: Gir let's have rum and waffles!

Gir: Yay.

Isn't Gir gonna pass out in his puck again?

Damon: *Shrugs* Who know?

Vie: So, Elena is a slut and has babies by two different daddies, huh. Elena, I was starting to like you...BUT then you go and hurt Bonnie. Bonnie do your worst; there's nothing like a Witch scorned! So, this fan girl is going to pop some popcorn, get some Rum and Coke and just admire the fireworks! Tara, Katherine, Chi, everyone, are you guys with me. I have enough Rum and Coke to go around?

Bonnie: I'm waiting.

Vie: …For what.

Bonnie: When Fan girl wars rolls back around.

That won't be till…three chapters after this.

Bonnie: *Evil smirk* I'm gonna pull out all the stops.

Scary.

Vie: Never piss off a witch.

Scary!

Vie: Chi, about the haters, I say screw em (see the effect you guys have on my vocabulary). There's this hip hop song that I sooo love and me and my girls get real hype on it...it's called Hit that Bitch with a Bottle by Khia. Check some of this out.

You know you love it. Lol. But sure, I'll check them out.

I don't fight I don't argue I'll just that bitch with a bottle

(I'll hit that bitch with a bottle)

Call my click don't bother I'll just hit that bitch with a bottle

(I'll hit that bitch with a bottle)

Got problems I'll solve em I'll just hit that bitch with a bottle

(I'll hit that bitch with a bottle)...**Vie is booty shaking in her skinny jeans and black stilettos with a black wire bra on** TRUST ME, it never goes wrong ;)

*Nose Bleeding*

Lestat: *Drags me away*

I wasn't gonna do anything. Really.

Damon: I was.

Vie: *Laughs* Please, Bring Riley back, I love him and his brother. Boondocks kicks ass!

Riley: Right here!

Damon: Great another kid.

Riley: Shut up ho.

Damon: I want to hit you with a bottle.

Riley: Wear a condom you walking STD. *Laughs*

Damon: Fucking annoying little midget.

Riley: Don't hate on my swagger!

Vie: I'm going to leave now but Chi, Sam has some fans and he shouldn't be tortured all the time. Sam, I love you dearly. **Vie jumps Sam's bones and tongues the hell out of him...literally**

*Blushes* I like Sam but I don't any control on what other fangirls do.

Sam: *Sighs* So hot.

Vie: *Smirk* Bye-eeee!

Bye.

TeamCastiel: Uh, hey Chi. I'm back, ( Pawprints25). Long time no see! ^^'

Hi! How have you been?

TeamCastiel: Crowley ...you're cool, but I'm going to stay away from you for a while...

Crowley: *Smirks* I wonder why?

TeamCastiel: Damon. Bastard.

Damon: Happy to be.

TeamCastiel: Bonnie I like you. Keep up the awesomeness.

Bonnie: Thank you. *Smiles.

TeamCastiel: Dean * hands him some pie*

Dean: *Raises an eyebrow* Pie?

TeamCastiel: Hey! It's good pie.

Dean: Okay.

TeamCastiel: Castiel Uh...here's a burger. I don't know if you still like these but...yeah. It's the thought that counts, right?

Castiel: Yeah, I still love these. *Attacks the burger*

TeamCastiel: Elena ...I have nothing to say to you right now. Very disappointed. * shakes head*

Elena: *Shrugs while rubbing belly*

TeamCastiel: Well, that's my long over due review. :/ I'm a little out of it right now, so don't mind me! :)

Okay. Bye.

Rogue Assasin: *Rogue cocks eyebrow and looks at Quinn* She's 13 and she has all those ideas - she needs help... seriously this child needs therapy...

Alice: Therapy is evil.

Really?

Alice: The one's I had.

Rogue: Anyway… Hey Charity *Rogue kisses Charity and uses powers to send Lestat into a black hole when he tries to separate them*

O.O?

Rogue: Don't worry Charity - he'll be back... I just sent him on a little errand...

What kind of errand?

Rogue: You'll see. Bonnie - I am mad at you - I am a Bamon fan but recently your character sort of sucks and what's with all the women picking on Damon - Stefan is not some super fucking hero - and I think the women on TVD are blind - can you not see that hideous unibrow - yes Stefan I hate you again - but I won't let Lestat rape you - only cause you're Damon's bro.

Bonnie: Blame the writers.

Damon: That's what I do everyday.

Stefan: Not much if a loss.

Rogue: Damon I'd take you to the back room but I'm laying off - you need to be with Bonnie and your kids.

Damon: *Rolls eyes* Yeah, sure. Can't I just be a Dad without being with Bonnie?

*Shrugs* I guess not.

Damon: Not helping. At all.

Rogue: FYI Bonnie - I killed Adrian - you're kissing him made me mad - he's busy shoveling coal in the pits of hell where I will send Bella, Bill and Elena to someday.

Bonnie: Ruining my little piece of heaven.

Damon: I'm just happy that bastard is dead. *Claps hands*

Rogue: Yeah - Damon you can thank me later - go rob a bank - I am now charging you for Favors I do - Killing Adrian lets see... 50 Mill should do - me and Charity can plan a world tour in a hot air balloon with Eric and Pam with that kinda cash.

Damon: Sure, go nuts.

Rogue: Oh - I almost forgot *Rogue grabs necklace off Damon neck and puts it on Stefan* Sit boy SIT.

Stefan: *Stick his tongue out* He doesn't have it anymore.

Rogue: *Throws a kunai at him*

Stefan: *Hits him in the forehead* Ow.

Rogue: Bastard. Elena I'll get to your boring bitch ass later.

Elena: What do you mean?

Rogue: It's the errand I sent Lestat on...

Alice: Oh goody, goody gosh! I'm loving this.

Rogue: I take it you already know the truth

Pam: Yeah, Eric, Alice and I already knew that part too...

Jeremy: It wasn't hard to figure out.

Beatrix: Hey Rogue!

Rogue: Beatrix Honey! *Rogue and Beatrix make out* So I thought we'd do the human autopsy together! *Rogue snaps fingers and Elena is chained to the operating table*

Elena: Ahhhhhhh - for the love of god I'm pregnant!

Beatrix: We don't fucking care.

*Rogue and Beatrix put on gloves*

Rogue: Don't want the bitches blood to get on me - Hey Mina pass the scalpel

Mina: Here have the chainsaw and ribcage cutters too

Beatrix:*Cutting Elena open* Well you see the human body has 5 layer's of tissue encasing the organs.

Rogue: But down here where the baby is growing the layers have been eaten away to form a hard sort of exoskeleton to protect her Demon baby.

Mina: Seth please cut open her belly with your wolf teeth.

Seth: What? No yuck!

Mina: Seth do it before I get mad!

Seth: Stupid fangirls! *Seth makes sour face - phases and bite's Elena's tummy open.

Rogue: So basically the sparkly bastard is Edward's.

Beatrix: so this one is... hey there's something funny about this one...

Mina: Yeah it looks like-

Lestat: Bonnie

Everyone except, Rogue, Pam, Alice and Eric: 0.0

Rogue: I take it your little errand was successful?

Lestat: Yip

B-But the paternity test proved Damon is the Dad.

Lestat and Rogue: He is

Bonnie: then how come the baby looks like me?

Pam and Alice: Because he is yours

Bonnie: Wait a minute? I having four kids!

*Grabs Lestat's collar and shakes him* tell me before I turn to Eric for sexual satisfaction!

Lestat: Well when Bob the rabbit was bob the Tofu man Bonnie accidentally ate some of him - Elena snuck it in her food - he stole Bonnie's embry -she was supposed to be having quads - and gave it to Elena.

Bonnie: You bitch! *Bonnie punches Elena in the face* but it still doesn't change the fact that you had sex with her Damon.

Lestat: He's innocent - he thought it was some random chick - Elena wore a disguise and drugged him.

Stefan: You sicken me!

Damon: Can I kill her now? Hey, the girl was blond, Elena's a brunette.

Bonnie: *Slaps forehead* Simple Bastard.

Rogue: Not yet

Beatrix: What's that white beating stuff in her?

Mina: it looks like...

Everyone: Tofu O_O

Rogue: Yup Bob helped her in exchange for sex - so she's having a Tofu baby too.

Elena: Oh come on! I would never stoop so low!

Rogue: Hey, you had sex with Edward, that's as low as you can go.

Bob: You mean I'm going to become a Daddy!

Elena: No your not!

Lestat: Yeah - Congratz *Lestat gives Bob a cigar*

Rogue: Hey that's my Cuban you bastard!

Edward: You Bastard! You betrayed me! You stole one of my babies! *Edward shoots Bob*

Ron: Too much drama for me.

Damon: *Sighs* To think I would get out of it.

Rogue: Oh stop being a baby. I think we all need a recess...

4 hours later...

Rogue: Johnny...

John: Stay back you Demon woman!

Rogue: Aww but I wanted to play a game with you... *Rogue pouts*

John: W-What game? Saw?

Rogue: *Chuckles* No. Shoot dean's daddy! *Rogue chases John with a dart gun*

Sam and Dean: Leave our Daddy alone!

Castiel: Sam leave Dean alone.

?: Fucking fags...

Damon: Where'd that come from?

Stefan: Sounded like you when we were little Damon

?: Here I am!

Bonnie: O.O It's our baby in Elena's womb - it's standing and looking at us!

Baby Salvatore: I'm cold - close the fucking door or I'll die - I'm not like sparkle bitch over there *Salvatore baby kicks Cullen baby*

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and Elena is closed and the operating table vanishes*

Elena: I will get you for this - how dare you expose me!

Katherine: *Bitch slaps Elena* How dare you be more evil and Conniving than me!

Rogue: Hey Damon's bitch - Well I update once a week but you have school so I wouldn't want to divert you from that.

I can't get over the talking baby in the womb thing.

Rogue: Don't worry Chi a pet - to any flamers or Edward fans - I will annihilate you all and dance naked on your dead bodies while feasting on your flesh! and if you look kinda nice I'll rape you then do the above.

She will do it.

Rogue: Crowley - I kinda like you…even though you're gay... say have you been in Sam's ass as well? Or was it vice versa?

Crowley: *Smirk* Wouldn't you like to know, ho-ney. To think that I was liking you. *Shrugs* I'll get over it.

John: *John grabs chest and falls... again*

Dean: Stop trying to kill our dad!

Sam: AGAIN!

Rogue: Fine - I'll just kill you *Rogue shoots Dean in the knee cap then the head*. Oh Kathy! Guess what!

Katherine: I will kill you!

Rogue: Actually I'll tear your bitch ass first but before I do that - Doctor Phil is back and He's brought Doctor Drew with him!

Katherine: O_o. MUTHERFUCKER!

Rogue: Broadway - you wanna help with Bill - Let's do it. Oh Billy Boy *Bill appears in a flash of darkness*

Broadway: *Armed with spiked baseball bat* You're mine bitch! *Broadways beats bills dead ass into the ground*

Rogue: I'd join you Broadway but I have other plans - Lestat you had your talk with Damon now it's my turn - Step in my office Salvatore - not you furry eyed creep. *Limo pulls up*

Damon: Your office is a limo?

Rogue: No dip shit - it's our ride to hell - mind the flames.

*Rogue and Damon get into Limo and disappear into a red mist*

…

*Screeching is heard and the limo appears again - Rogue steps out followed By Damon who is covered in soot - and his hair is sticking up*

Bonnie: You burned Damon!

Rogue: No I didn't - I told him to mind the flames - he didn't listen.

You actually took him to hell...

Rogue: Where else do you think my office is? Damon go wash up

Damon: *Nods dumbly and starts trudging to the shower mumbling about his beautiful hair*

Rogue: Bob my little cute bunny come here *Rogue carries Bob and pets him before feeding him a soul*

Bob: This one's chewy…who does it belong to?

Rogue: John Winchester

Crowley: dammit - I wanted his soul!

Rogue: Hey John did you catch up to Dean and whip his ass? You know he might have liked it? Are you going to whip Sam's ass now?

John: I caught him and Sam.

Dean: My ass still hurts and not in a good way!

Sam: The state of Texas is imprinted on my ass!

Castiel: Haha.

Rogue: John Winchester

Crowley: dammit - I wanted his soul!

Rogue: Okay so for your Q's. J-rock - naah don't listen to that - I'm a Nickleback, Linkin Park kinda girl.

You know the leader singer in Linkin Park is going to be in the new Saw!

Damon: I think everyone knows.

I'm just happy…leave me alone.

Rogue: Stefan - Tara's too good for you - but seeing as you're getting her something I suggest a nice coat with matching boots and a stun gun - she'll need that in there.

Tara: Preach the church.

Rogue: Damon - You want rope - go to the store and buy some *Rogue grins evilly*

Damon: Pfft.

Rogue: Bonnie - you keep the host away from the baby's daddy by making sure he has no reason to want her - you got me right Bon-Bon - take care of your man or I will - permanently - because I would rather Damon be dead than getting hurt all the time by you stupid TVD women..

Damon: Can I second the dead thing because so one is listening to me.

Bonnie: Don't care.

Rogue: Charity don't worry too much about fangirls - we love the spice! Well I'm Indian - well South African born Indian and we LOVE our spices.

I love spices too.

Rogue: Damon you ready?

Damon: *Sigh* yeah.

*Room goes dark and Charity clings to Rogue*

Charity: who turned off the lights - think it's zombies? NO THE EVIL GAY DIET ZOMBIES WHO ARE TOO STICK UP TO EAT THE GIANT COOKIE WHO WANTS TO DESTROY THE WORLD!

Rogue: …You have issues. But nope - just watch.

*A slight red glow illuminated the room and Damon stands in it with a guitar and music starts playing*

Lestat and Stefan: ba da ba da da da ah ya ya

ba da da da ba ba ee ah

Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya

Damon: There used to be a greying tower alone on the sea.

You became the light on the dark side of me.

Love remained a drug that's the high and not the pill.

Lestat and Stefan: ba da ba da da da ah ya ya

ba da da da ba ba ee ah

Ba ya ya ba ba de ba da da da ah ya ya

Damon:But did you know,

That when it snows,

My eyes become large and,

The light that you shine can be seen.

Stefan, Damon and Lestat: Baby,

I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey.

...kiss from a rose on the grey.

Ooh,

The more I get of you,

Ooh...

Stranger it feels, yeah.

And now that your rose is is in bloom.

A light hits the gloom on the grey.

*Damon gets down on one knee holding a red rose up to Bonnie*

Damon: Now that your rose is in bloom,

A light hits the gloom on the grey.

All Bamon Fangirls: *Clap and scream and jump up and down in joy*

*Eric, Pam, Rogue and Charity sneak off into the back room for their own joy*

Damon: *Twitch* I AM NOT HAPPY.

Stefan: Oh stop bitching and go to Bonnie.

Damon: *Flips off Stefan* I'm not like you.

SMiiLE: *hands Stefan a bunny* there ya go sexy ;)

Stefan: Thanks.

SMiiLE: Heyy chi this is good news for the brilliant Winchester boys in a few days there's a new episode that's called 'live free or twi hard' it's one whole supernatural episode where it makes fun of twilight xD I reckon it would be awesome for a whole hour of the two hotties mocking the gay ass fairy.

Dean: Bout damn time!

SMiiLE: P.S Eddie I hate your fucking guts you gave the word vampire a bad name now go cry over the only girl that would take you which also happens to be mentally retarted:) * cuts Edwards balls off shaves the sparkles off and fry him on a electric chair* DIE FAIRY!

Edward: *screams*

Bella: I'm not retarded!

SMiiLE: Anyways now that's over Dean wanna go relieve some stress ;)

Dean: Sure.

SMiiLE: Also i don't know why everyone hates Katherine she's badass. TEAM KATHERINE AND STEFAN WOoOOO :D Bye now 3

Bye. *Smiles*

Katherein: See. I like her.

BroadwayAngelLyric: Hi, peeps. *pulls Bill and Bella out of the pits of hell and chains them to a wall* Listen here dumb and dumber, Bill is going first, then Bella. *pistol-whips and takes the balls off of Bill then throws him to Eric and Pam for a further beat down* Now, Bella *grabs Bella by the throat and pushes her up against a wall and stabs her in the throat before throwing her to Rogue and Company*

O.O. Scary.

Broadway: Now that's over, I didn't get to see Vampire Diaries this week so I have to watch it online. I did see the last 10 minutes and I was shocked. Katherine, you have a heart?

Katherine: *Growls* Don't insult me.

Broadway: Stefan, you're one of my favorites on the show now but I refuse to give you bunnies. Here's a mountain lion instead.

Stefan: Thank you cause I was hungry.

Broadway: Damon, you're still number one, you can help drain what's left of Bella's blood.

Damon: Her stupidity might get in me.

Broadway: Eric, Pam, and Sookie, I can't wait for season 4 of True Blood. Hopefully, Eric and Sookie get together.

Eric: Revenge is mine Bill.

Bill: Keep dreaming Eric.

Eric: *Smirks*

Broadway: Elena, I've decided that I'm going allow a cast member of my choosing to name your babies and I choose...BOB!

Elena: HELL NO!

Bob: She's having my baby too.

Elena: NO I'M NOT!

Bob: *Smirks* I have good names.

Elena: Great.

Broadway: This is fun.

Bob: Give me a minute.

Broadway: Chi, when is fangirl soccer, I propose we use Edward's head for the ball. Do you still have a thing for Lestat?

*Blush*

Damon: No, she thinks she likes him because I'm semi not available. So easy.

Hahaha. *Hits Damon in the back of the head with a bat* Bastard.

Broadway: And lastly, Jack, here's more booze, Gir, here's some waffles, and Zero, here's a bomb, I recommend the Elena-Killer 3000 and I honestly think that Jack, Zero, Gir, and Bob have the least drama on the show. All they want is booze, weapons, waffles, and souls. Anyway, gotta go, bye!

Jack: Yep. No drama.

Damon: Blah, blah, blah. No way am I going do this crap. Let me live my simple life!

Stefan: Not this again.

Damon: I need a break from all this! From Bonnie, from Elena, from fangirls who want me to be with someone! You know what…fine. I will be with someone then!

Can I get some water?

Alice: *Smiles* Here ya go. *Hands me a bottle of water*

Damon: *Storms over to Eric*

Eric: *Raises eyebrow* What?

Damon: You better keep that promise of a good time. *Grabs Eric and kisses him*

*Chocks on water*

Stefan: MY EYES! MY EYES!

Ron: Well there goes the other straight guy here. *Drink from beer bottle*

Alice: Um…thank for reading and we want to thank FutureActressKS, Breakfastclub85, Vamp123, MinaFTW, LoveHurts1996, Damon's Bitch 13, RoseJean Belikov Salvatore, Quinn And Thierry Pimp, BeatrixMayfeir, Vie, TeamCastiel, Rogue Assasin, SMiiLE, and BroadwayAngelLyric for reviews. Please bring costumes next time!

Stefan: Charity DO SOMETHING!

Lestat: She's chocking on water still.

Katherine: How can you drown from a bottle of water?

Bonnie: …Why am I turned on by this?

Elena: Same here.

Edward: This is Epically gay.

Riley: Pause. Pause. Pause! MY EYES ARE BURNING!


	68. Damon's Not Gay! Or so he says

Shows they can't do together!

An Awkward moment

Damon: How long are you gonna stare at me?

Stefan: …What happened to you?

Damon: *Twitch* Shut up.

So…you and Eric…

Damon: That was the only way to get my point across.

Ron: That's one way to put it.

I didn't know you liked Eric like that, so I just wanted to know…

Damon: I DON'T LIKE THAT BASTARD!

Ron & Me: Can't tell.

Damon: Up both of yours.

Ron: Don't tell me that. Now I got to watch my butt because you're into old guys now?

Damon: *Growls*

Bonnie: …Chi.

What?

Bonnie: I'm sorry I ever doubted you.

Damon: I'M NOT GAY!

Elena: Your bi?

Damon: NEVER!

Don't knock it till you try it.

Damon: …Just because you're a carpet eater and a stick licker doesn't mean I do the same thing!

…Did he insult me?

Alice: I think so too.

Eric: Don't deny what's inside.

Damon: DIE!

Um…let's start the show.

Damon: Before that…if I'm forced to do something…I will grab Sam and get that bastard pregnant!

Sam: …Why me!

Damon: Hey! If I'm going gay you're the first choice.

Stefan: I never thought I would miss the old Damon. *Sigh*

Tara: Am I the only one confused here?

Katherine: I could fucking careless; you guys can die for all I care. Just leave your blood.

Okay? *Dressed up as a sexy host* Well let's start the show!

MinaFTW: *Claps hand* and Bonnie has her babies back.

Bonnie: Thanks?

Mina: Sorry baby Bonnie in Elena is just epically weird!

Bonnie: *Nods*

Elena: I'm not weird!

Mina: Can't tell.

Damon: Hell yes! And I didn't have to say it

Mina: Boy! You better say it before I bring Adrian back!

Bonnie: Don't say it Damon, Adrian, bring Adrian back!

Damon: I don't think so little witch, I LOVE YOU! *takes the witch and kisses her*

Mina: Aww a happy ending

Elena: NO! He was supposed to be mine!

Mina: Too bad bitch

Damon: Haha! *Grabs Sam* How about twins.

Sam: CHARITY SAVE ME!

*Jumps on Damon's back* NO MEANS NO DAMON! NO MEANS NO!

Dean: LET HIM GO! *Points a gun at Damon*

Don't shoot me!

Alice, Tara, &Bonnie: …

Ron: Who needs a Tv here?

An hour later

*Laying on the floor* Damn…*gasp*…it.

Sam: …

John: *Shakes head*

Damon: Okay, I'm going to say this once. Let me deiced in my own time who I love. Maybe I love Bonnie, maybe I love Elena, hell I may love Stefan…

Stefan: The fuck you don't.

Damon: But I want to decide it. My mind is full of stuff right now and I want to give me heart…

Katherine: Gay! Bring in the gay guys with the butt less jeans in and sing raining men.

Alice: *Punches Katherine*

Damon: I want to love someone with all my heart, not just half of it okay. So give me a minute to decide or Sam is my bitch.

Sam: *Coughs*

Dean: Bring it on Damon!

Okay?

Crowley's Bitch 13: Hey it's Damon's bitch 13! I changed my name!

Crowley: You honor me.

Damon: Traitor.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi, do you know how many people have the same name as you on face book?

Huh? Really? Maybe their failed clones.

Stefan: What?

Nothing….*Looks around*

Crowley's Bitch: Can u friend me instead please! (My name on fb is Sabrina Del Rey it should be the pic of a girl (me!) with straight hair and glasses.

Okay!

Crowley's Bitch: Rogue I'll do it but it has to be on a weekend.

Yay!

Crowley's Bitch: Chi I didn't know the leader singer in Linkin Park is going to be in the new Saw! I love them there awesome!

I love the gore stuff. I'm a horror and gore junkie so you know I'm going.

Damon: No wonder you're crazy.

Oh be quite and sit in Eric's lap like a good little…

Damon: You…are…dead!

EPP! *Runs away*

Damon: GET BACK HERE!

Crowley's Bitch: Do those two need some alone time?

Lestat: The fuck they don't.

Alice: Why don't you marry her if you're that worried?

Lestat: I'm not worried about her, its Damon. I like him better when he was Bonnie's bitch.

Elena: I didn't.

Ron: …I have nothing to say. *Still dressed in a cop suit* I'm goin outside to piss off some cops. Wish me luck.

Crowley's Bitch: …*Shakes head*

Elena: I want chocolate!

Bonnie: Me too!

Alice: I'll order some.

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley what do ya think of my name change!

Crowley: I love it.

Damon: Traitor.

PUT ME DOWN! *Over his shoulder*

Damon: *Evil smile* Were going to have a nice talk.

O.O HE'S GOING TO KILL ME!

Katherine: Need help?

Damon: Outside we go!

NOOOOOOO!

Crowley's Bitch: Let me finish first!

Damon: …Fine.

Crowley's Bitch: Okay. Crowley to answer your question about killing one off my teachers can u kill my 6th grade science and language teacher i hated her and i usually like my teachers!

Crowley: *Smirks* Okay.

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley *starts make out with him* Damn i love that accent!

Ron: Thought he was gay.

Stefan: How….?

Ron: The bruise? Let's say never get between a fat woman and her donuts. She did the Matrix on me.

…

Crowley's Bitch: *Breathlessly* Anything else master?

Crowley: Nothing…just make sure you keep your window open tonight.

Crowley's Bitch: Anything you want, Castiel?

Castiel: How to kill Sam without it pointing to me.

Dean & Sam: …

Crowley's Bitch: Damon I feel like you got no love last chapter! Well I still love ya I just like Crowley better at the moment cause I'm pissed last episode that you tried to kill Mason (Tyler's uncle) HE WAS JUST TRYING TO BE YOUR FRIEND!

Damon: Never asked for it.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi can u bring Gabriel (from supernatural) on the show? Please i love him!

Castiel: NO!

Crowley's Bitch: Why?

Castiel: Nothing…

Sure.

Crowley's Bitch: Edward I'm feeling nice soooo *gives hug* i call a truce if u don't be mean to me i wont be mean to u unless u piss me off.

Edward: *Looks around for traps* O…kay.

Crowley's Bitch: *Smile* Crowley I'm to nice this chapter I JUST MADE A TRUCE WITH EDWARD! Can I have some demon blood?

Crowley" *Smirks* Maybe.

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone I feel like I wrote a super long review soo bye!

Bye! NOW PUT ME DOWN!

Damon: *Drops me* There. But we're going to have a talk.

With witness.

Damon: *Evil smirk* You sure about that?

What are you gonna do to me?

Damon: I want revenge you little evil bastard.

*Gulps* W-why?

Damon: Oh, you'll know soon.

O.O.

Lestat: …

FutureActressKS: *Glares at Eric then throws a shoe at him* BASTARD!

Eric: Been called worst.

FutureActress: Still Team Damon.

Damon: Thank you.

FutureActress: Edward *yanks out the chainsaw again* Don't run away! DIE!

Edward: *Runs away*

…

FutureActress: Elena how do you feel about Damon and Eric together? Eric's officially number 2 on my hit list.

Eric: *Shrugs*

Elena: I thought it was hot.

Damon: I'M NOT GAY DAMN IT!

Eric: But your lips were so soft.

Damon: DIE!

Bonnie: You brought this on yourself.

FutureActress: Edward but you are at the top! *has Freddie Krueger knife glove* Wanna play?

Edward: No.

FutureActress: Pussy.

Edward: …

FutureActress: Gir hug?

Gir: Yay! *Hugs her*

FutureActress: Think I can totally beat Edward in a fight?

Gir: Yay! *Hugs tighter*

FutureActress: Okay Gir. That's a little tight.

Gir: Yay!

*Nervous laugh* He's in his hugging phase. *Pulls off Gir.

Damon: And you wouldn't help me.

Fan girl. Damon. I want to keep my fans alive.

Damon: *Growls*

FutureActress: Waffle...and dance party! *lights turn off and disco ball appears out of nowhere*

Gir: *Starts dancing*

An hour later.

Alice: *Pulls on her dress* So fun!

FutureActress: Gir is a party animal!

Gir: WAFFLES!

FutureActress: Oh Chi, Caroline wasn't a vampire in the book series.

Then what's going on!

FutureActress: Why don't you read the book?

Alice: Or Wiki.

*Pouts* I don't want to!

FutureActress: *Shakes head* Katherine give me a total makeover. I wanna be just like you!

Katherine: Why can't all girls be like you? And if you say something smart Chi I'll cut off all your hair.

*Gulps*

Katherine: Okay.

FutureActress: Edward Super annoying! Go away! *throws a dozen knives at him*

Edward: *Dodges most of them* Haha miss… *Get's hit in the forehead*

Everyone: …

FutureActress: HA! Want a hug Edward? ...not really! *sets whole body on fire*

Edward: *Screams*

FutureActress: I'm so good. Bella I somewhat don't like you, but I can learn to love anyone that wants to help me torture Eddie.

Bella: Sure. *Pours gasoline on Edward*

Edward: *Cries* YOU BITCH!

Bella: Whatever.

So mean.

FutureActress: Damon backroom?

Damon: Sure.

FutureActress: *Blows him a kiss* Let me finish this first.

Damon: Ok.

FutureActress: I love you Stefan! *kiss on cheek*

Stefan: Thanks. *Blush*

FutureActress: Eric! *chucks a text book at him to annoy*

Eric: *Dodges* Pfft.

FutureActress: *Flips him off*

Eric: *Shrugs*

FutureActress: Gir, think I can take Eric down? Appearances are very deceiving. *evil smile*

Damon: If you can do that I'll give you a fucking medal!

FutureActress: I don't want a medal.

Damon: …I'll think of something.

FutureActress: Jack *snaps finger and disco starts again* Here's booze. Dance party!

Few minutes later

FutureActress: Edward stole some of your booze *offers a sword to Jack*

Jack: *Takes the sword in one hand and a gun in the other* Shoot and stab!

Edward: *Runs*

Jack: GET BACK HERE!

FutureActress: Elena *hug* I'll be your fangirl as well! As long as you don't do anything to get on my bad side.

Elena: Okay.

FutureActress: Jacob and Seth You guys look really bored. Wanna help torture Edwierdo?

Seth: Sure.

Jacob: Not me. I don't want to catch his stupid.

Edward: I'm not stupid.

Jacob: Pfft.

Edward: You wanna fight.

Jacob: *Punches Edward* Yep.

*Walks out the room*

Alice: Where are you going?

I don't want to see my room be destroyed for the millionth time. *Cries*

FutureActress: *Holding a bucket of popcorn* KICK HIS ASS JACOB!

An Hour Later

*Mouth open* …

FutureActress: I told them to stop.

Edward: Liar.

Jacob: Shut up.

…

Damon: Oh shit.

*Starts laughing*

Stefan: Come on Tara.

Tara: I want to see the good part.

*Demonic laughter*

Tara: On second thought let's get the fuck out of here. *Drags Stefan*

*Demonic Voice* WHO'S GONNA FIX THIS!

Jacob: *Gulp* Edward and I will…

Edward: Fuck that.

FutureActress: Damon put me down!

Damon: You want to die?

FutureActress: RUNN!

EDWARD!

Edward: What are you gonna…where's Jacob?

DIE!

Two hours later

Damon: Dude should have kept his mouth shut.

Ron: Why is he a burr?

To protect the eyes of little ones.

Eric: I'm proud of you but next time don't be as messy.

I was pissed.

Alice: Poor Edward. I didn't see why you had to pull his heart out.

Hulk smash, then ask questions later.

FutureActress: Okay? Bob I've got my eye on you!

Bob: I'LL PISS ON YOUR SOUL!

FutureActress: Ew.

Bob: Muhahahaha!

FutureActress: Zero Shoot Edward and Eric.

Zero: *Pulls out Bloody Rose* You sure about Edward? It's like over kill…

FutureActress: It's never over kill. Now do it.

Zero: *Shoots Eric, Edward, and Damon*

Damon: You bastard!

FutureActress: I didn't say Damon!

Zero: *Smirks* Oops.

FutureActress: … Adrian you are really hot! You are a lucky woman Bonnie.

Bonnie: I know! *Smiles*

Damon: *Rolls eyes*

FutureActress: Katherine what to do now?

Katherine: Kill that bastard Dr. Phil!

Alice: What about Dr. Drew?

Katherine: I took his head and mailed it to his wife or husband.

…

Katherine: Don't look down on me!

I'm not.

FutureActress: Damon *chucks shoe at him* Still love you but that's for kissing Eric.

Damon: You are not going to let me live that down!

Nope. I have it on camera!

Damon: …GIVE ME THAT!

*Runs away and screams*

Lestat: *Twitch*

Save me BONNIE!

Bonnie: …

FutureActress: Stefan *hands him a bunny*

Stefan: Thanks.

FutureActress: No prob. Everyone Let's dance!

*Music starts playing*

FutureActress: Gir lets rock this place! *dances away to the backroom with Gir*

Bye!

Quinn And Thierry Pimp: Gir, You want a hug *smiles and hugs Gir*

Be careful.

Gir: *Smiles*

Quinn: *hands Gir a waffle*

Gir: WAFFLES!

Quinn: Never get's old. Alice, The Dead animals are Skeleanimals they are stuffed animals! I have a bunny!

Alice: Oh, I'll take the bunny though.

Quinn: *blinks* Do you want me to kill Jasper *takes out knife*

Alice: Not yet. *Glares at Jasper*

Jasper: What I do?

Quinn: *Pouts* Charity, Sadly I just got a dare...someone please kill me...My friend reads your story but doesn't review she said I have to be any character of your choices bitch for 2 chapters and changes my username and pic too about it... Please be easy on me...

Alice: OH! You can be my bitch! I promise I'll be easy on ya.

Katherine: No I think it's my turn to have a bitch!

Alice: ME!

Katherine: ME YOU FAIRY!

Alice: *Tackles Katherine*

…

Quinn: Wow.

Eric: You can be my bitch. I'm easy to please.

At least on here.

Eric: Sure…let's go with that.

Quinn: Do you like 90210?

I never even watched that show, but I'll give it a try.

Quinn: Everyone, Okay so what's the best way to ignore someone yet still get revenge on them. Be creative!

Don't talk to them and do small stuff, eventual they will become paranoid.

Damon: I say hit them in the head with a blunt object and ignore the body.

Katherine: Same here.

Stefan: That's stupid, just don't be in the same room as them…*Looks at Damon* It's works half the time.

Damon: Oh shut up.

Quinn: What three reviewers do you want to have sex with the most?

Damon: Rogue, FutureActressKS, and LoveHurts1996.

Katherine: All except my favs should die!

Quinn: *Sighs* That's wasn't the question I asked!

Katherine: *Shrugs*

Seth: I like Quinn!

Jeremy: She's mine you bastard!

Stefan: *Shakes head*

I don't know. It's hard!

Damon: Oh stop whining!

Quinn: Jeremy I hope she does skin him alive…*goes to backroom with him*

Three hours later.

Quinn: Can we get so more time!

Let's finish this up first.

Quinn: …*throws a book at Bob's head* It's time for you too die...wait unless you can rape my friend again...it scares her and its funny.

Bob: Okay.

I wouldn't wish that on no body.

Quinn: *Laughs* It's funny.

Kay.

Quinn: Katherine, I killed the docs now can you help me find a new boy toy?

Katherine: *Evil smile* Yes.

Quinn: *hands over twenty dead humans full of blood* Do with them as you may.

Katherine: Muhahahaha!

She seems happy.

Alice: *Nods*

Quinn: So Sam, did I creep you out yet *laughs very, very creepy*

Sam: …Yes.

Quinn: Dean, You seem so ignored *hugs Dean*

Dean: Thanks.

Quinn: Hey Edward.

Edward: *Backs up* H-Hey.

Quinn: *slaps him so hard that his head falls off* Hehehehehhe. *cracks knuckles* Lets see what can I do to you. *hands everyone ear plugs* I have the perfect plan

Tara: What's with the ear plugs?

Quinn: Put them in and you'll see. *Evil grin*

Edward: *Ties him to a chair and turns on a tv.*

Quinn: Damon I advise you too look away.

Damon: Why me?

Quinn: *Barney blasts* *ducks and hides under table*

Everyone: O.o

Is it over?

Quinn: I'm not done yet! Bella, Your worst then Elena and that's saying something!

Elena: HEY!

Quinn: *Rips all her limbs off with my teeth*

Ew.

Bonnie: Why do I feel hungry?

Quinn: *puts her body parts in a blender and turns blender on**Pours the now juice bella into a cup and pours it down Elenas throat*

Elena: *Screams*

Quinn: Tsk, Tsk, Tsk, Elena now your a cannibal!

Elena: *Spits out Bella Juice*

Quinn: *raises eyebrows and kills her babies and her* Your not worth my creativity

Everyone: o.o

Quinn: She'll get over it. Rogue, I have had therapy not ashamed of it either me and all my friends have it, doesn't help, we drive them crazy.

Alice: Told you!

Quinn: Stefan, So you don't love Elena any more, Interesting...who do you love?

Stefan: *Blush* W-well it should be easy to tell.

Lestat: He love me!

Stefan: *Narrows eyes* Ew.

Quinn: Well I got to go Gossip girl is on!

Okay! Bye!

Damon: You miss the daily thing huh?

Yeah but school been so demanding. *Sighs*

Tootoughtummy: ...Wow. I'm gone for a few chapters and this is what happens? MAN! I miss all the good stuff *pouts* Oh well.

Damon: You didn't miss much.

Eric: Says you.

Damon: *Shivers* Shit.

Tootough: I had a bad dream. It was about Damon and Edward. Doing icky stuff. I puked when I woke up. I'm sorry Damon that my Subconscious is a major bitch. Edward, I have nothing to say to you. Maybe if everybody ignores you, you'll wither away and die.

Edward: …I hate you.

Tootough: Never cared.

Edward: *Rolls eyes*

Tootough: Bob, have my Spanish teacher's soul. *Feeds it to him* She's a bitch.

Bob: It's spicy and not in a good way.

Tootough: Stephan, you're still totally awesome. You too Lady Katherine. Elena, you're such a pest. Drop dead. *She drops dead*

Poor Elena. She get's little love.

Tootough: My dad read this with me one day and asked was I on drugs...I told him yes.

*Laughs* I wouldn't blame him for asking that. My parents think I'm on drugs for writing it.

Tootough: Charity, you're my hero *Kiss on the cheek*

*Blush and smiles* Yay.

Tootough: Samantha, on my story everybody dresses you up in drag. How does that make you feel?

Sam: *Flips everyone off*

Tootough: Oh feisty.

Sam: I hate you all. *Pouts*

Tootough: *Laughs* Dean, my little niece just said her first word last week. Guess what it was? It was bitch. We were watching your show one day and Bam. Bitch was her first word. It was pretty funny.

Dean: Sam's first word was Bastard.

John: …I don't even want to remember.

Dean: It was in every sentence.

Tootough: That's all ciao!

Dean: Bye!

Hey Damon, what was Stefan's first words?

Damon: It was 'I'm an asshole."

Stefan: …

Damon: No. Wait! It was 'I'm a mopey bastard with puppies for eyebrows.'

Stefan: His were 'I'm gay but I'll pretend to be bad ass so it's okay.'

Damon: …

Ouch, dude that hurts.

Stefan: He started it.

Hannah: Why is Damon in the corner?

Stefan: Because he got severed.

Hannah: …Okay? Hey guys! I'm wearing a costume today! *wearing Britney Spears sexy school girl outfit*

Dean: Yay!

Hannah: You would be happy with anything I wear.

Dean: I'm easy to please.

Hannah: Cas, You have gorgeous eyes!

Castiel: Thanks.

Hannah: Sam you are so pathetic, yet cute, in the episode where you had bad luck. Whoa...I actually just complimented you.

Sam: …

Hannah: Jeremy I like you as an evil mastermind.

Jeremy: *Bows* Thank you.

Hannah: Cas Sing Dean & I's song, 1234 by the Plain White-T's, to Dean & I and do it with a smile!

Castiel: At least I'm not dressed up in any stupid outfit.

*Plays music*

Castiel: *Holds a microphone* It's easy, it's easy as 1, 2, 1, 2, 3, 4, it's only one way, to say, three words, for yoooou! I love, I love you!

Hannah: That's all?

Castiel: Yep.

Hannah: Okay? Dean *scared* Edward stalked me and then tried to feel me up. Can you please take care of him? *evil smirk at Edward*.

Dean: Hey Zero let me see your gun.

Zero: *Throws a gun at him*

Dean: *Catches it and points it at Edward* Your dead!

Edward: *Runs* I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Dean: *Shoots at Edward* Bastard!

Hannah: Chi you should bring Tyler Lockwood on here! I get first dibs on making out with him! Sorry Dean, I still love you but he's hot.

Dean: …

Okay. I think I was suppose to bring him anyways. Also Caroline.

Hannah: Okay. Bye!

Bye.

BeatrixMayfeir: Holy Mary mother of god! Damon and Eric? Yeeessss! I almost choked on my spit for the shock! I knew that after trying Daddy D you'd want more Damon! I was too good with that, wasn't I? God, that was so damn HOT!

Damon: *Sighs*

Eric: I feel so loved.

Damon: *Growls*

Beatrix: Chi you're awesome *makes out with you* let's make a foursome with Eric and Damon *drags them all in the backroom*!

Damon: I DON'T WANT TO GO!

Beatrix: *Evil laugh*

Damon: NOOOO!

*After several hours*

Beatrix: Wow... that was...wow *tries to fix clothes* I can barely walk straight! Good lord! Chi how are you feeling?

*On the floor panting* Too… much!

Eric: Sorry I wasn't easy on you.

Damon: I'm just happy he didn't touch me.

Eric: You sure about that.

Damon: Yes. Bastard.

Beatrix: Muhahaha take this you stupid bitches *sticks tongue out to Kat, Bonnie and Elena*!

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes*

Katherine: Kiss…my…undead…ass.

Elena: *Cries* I'm the only one for Damon! We're like the biggest couple in our fanfiction stuff!

Beatrix: Blah, blah, blah. Oh Rogue *jumps on Rogue and makes out with her* you make me so hot when you're in torturing mode! Let's go to the backroom I'll do a pole dance for you!

Alice: *Giggles*

Beatrix: And now potion time! *throws a potion to Sam and he explodes in flames* ops that was a molotov not a potion! Oh well *shrugs* I'm a little sex intoxicated, you know!

Dean & John: SAM!

Castiel: My wish came true!

Beatrix: By the way, Chi do you like my dress? It's the one Willow wore as a vampire! That was one of my favorite ep of Buffy!

So cute.

Beatrix: *Smiles* Ok, time to go! Bye!

Castiel: Please come back again!

Dean: SAM!

Rogue Assasin: I would ask to see if he was alright but I just don't care.

Dean: YOU'RE EVIL!

Rogue: I know right? WOW - That was one LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG chapter - Charity how do you do it?

*Laughs* It took me a few days to finish.

Rogue: Bonnie I changed my mind about you - none of the TVD women deserve Damon - Damon go be with Eric if that's what makes you happy :)

Damon: I'M…NOT…HAPPY!

Eric: Stop lying. *Blows Damon a kiss*

Damon: *Dodges it* Bastard!

Rogue: Pam honey *Rogue makes out with Pam* Lets have a foursome with Eric and Damon better yet - lets do each other and let them watch! *Pam and Rogue grope and make out then grope and make out with Eric and Damon*

Hours later

Rogue: Sooooo Damon wants to be a Daddy without being tied to Bon- Bon - no sweat *Rogue leaves room and come's back holding a 2 year old's hand*

Stefan: Who is that - why are you bringing a kid on this show!

Rogue: Well Stefan - meet Kaitlin Damonique Salvatore - she's your niece - I pulled her from my fic "Dancing with Darkness" to spend time with her Father - Damon - Go have fun - she doesn't know who her mom is... You have an hour then I have another treat for you BTW - when am I getting my 50 mill?

Damon: I'm getting it!

Rogue: Better be soon.

Damon: Don't worry about it.

Rogue: Good. and Damon - I'm sorry I made you sing - Bonnie didn't deserve a song! Book Bonnie and book Damon belong together, it seems the producer has a huge fucking liking for Eddie's unsparkly twin and his unibrow that's why the story has been over distorted. Katherine never loved Stefan - he was a toy for her just like Damon - she wanted them both and they died in a sword fight because Katherine faked her suicide - before Katherine joined she gave Damon the chance to join her - not Stefan! Grrrrrr - Death to the producer of TVD! But I like how Damon no longer gives much of a crap about the TVD women though I have a feeling he might get with Caroline and show her how to be a real vampire and not some squirrel raping bastard like unibrow over there *Rogue shoots Stefan in the head*

Tara: STEFAN!

Stefan: Man! She messed up my shirt!

Rogue: Jeremy in the beginning I thought you Marjory sucked but after Damon compelled you I find you're kinda sweet, you remind me of my little bro *Rogue smiles and smacks Jeremy's head*

Jeremy: WTF was that for?

Rogue: Nothing - I do that to my brother all the time.

Jeremy: I'm a bit afraid for your brother.

Rogue: Castiel *Rogue gives Castiel a wide grin* I want you to dress in cargo shorts with a tropical shirt that's unbuttoned and sing 'Bumpy Ride' for Katherine - it's a dare!

Castiel: Shit.

Five minutes later

Castiel: *Wearing cargo shorts and unbuttoned shirt*

Music plays

Castiel: I wanna boom bang, bang with your body yo,

Were gonna rough it up before we take it slow,

Girl lemme rock you rock you like a rodeo,

(It's gonna be a bumpy ride)

Katherine: *Slap him and kick him in the balls* I like you better under my heels.

Castiel: *Growls*

*Sigh* He was singing to you.

Katherine: The hell should I care.

Rogue: Katherine - grow some balls!

Katherine: Grow a dick!

…Really.

Katherine: Shut up.

Rogue: So Bella and Bill are here - YES!

Bill: I still do not think it was wise of me to be here.

Bella: It never was.

Rogue: Well first things first... oh Fagward! *Rogue chases Edward up and down the stairs and hallway with blow torch and chainsaw* I'll be a few minutes - come here you sparkling bastard!

Edward: NEVER!

O.o.

Rogue: Your fast. But not fast enough.

Edward: *Screams*

Bella: This is stupid. *Trips Edward*

Edward: You bitch.

Bella: Die.

Bill: You know…you kind help speed up your own death.

Bella: …Fuck.

Rogue: I've got you Eddie! *Rogue catches up with Eddie and saws him until he's just glitter on the floor* Stefan take Katie to the backroom... it's time for Damon's other surprise!

Stefan: *Sighs* Fine. Come on Katie.

... I'm not so sure about this...

Alice: Be a sport it's for Damon and Eric ... well I'm doing it for Eric!

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers, lights go off and a disco ball comes down over the bar table*

When did we get a disco ball!

Beatrix: I got it with Fagward's credit card.

Future Actress: Dean come sit with Eric and Damon on the bar stools!

*Rogue snaps finger and Pam, Charity, Alice, Rogue, Beatrix, Broadway, Future Actress and Mina are dressed in hot shorts and tight tops*

Rogue: There's a place downtown,

Where the freaks all come around.

It's a hole in the wall.

It's a dirty free for all.

Charity: When the dark

Of the night comes around.

That's the time,

Pam: That the animal comes alive.

Looking for

Something wild.

All the girls: And now we lookin' like pimps

In my gold Trans-Am.

Got a water bottle full of whiskey

In my handbag.

Got my drunk text on

I'll regret it in the mornin'

But tonight

I don't give a

I don't give a

I don't give a

Alice: There's a place downtown,

Where the freaks all come around.

Rogue: It's a hole in the wall.

It's a dirty free for all. *Rogue and Alice swing around the pole and grind*

Charity: And they

Pam: turn me on

Charity: When they

Alice: Take it off

Charity: When they

Broadway: Take it off

Rogue: Everybody take it off

Mina: There's a place I know

If you're looking for a show.

Beatrix: Where they go hardcore

And there's glitter on the floor.

Charity: And they

Pam: turn me on

Charity: When they

Alice: Take it off

Charity: When they

Broadway: Take it off

Mina: Everybody take it off

Pam: Lose your mind.

Lose it now.

Rogue: Lose your clothes

In the crowd. *Rogue and Pam rub up on each other and rub Damon and Eric's face's with their boobs"

Charity: We're delirious.

Tear it down

Broadway: 'Til the sun comes back around.

Beatrix: N-now we're getting so smashed.

Knocking over trash cans.

Future Actress: Eurbody breakin' bottles

It's a filthy hot mess.

Pam: Gonna get faded

I'm not the designated

Charity: Driver so

I don't give a

I don't give a

I don't give a

Mina: There's a place downtown,

Where the freaks all come around.

Alice: It's a hole in the wall.

It's a dirty free for all.

Charity: And they

Pam: turn me on

Charity: When they

Alice: Take it off

Charity: When they

Broadway: Take it off

Future Actress: Everybody take it off

Charity: There's a place I know

If you're looking for a show.

Rogue: Where they go hardcore

And there's glitter on the floor.*Rogue steps in the Eddie glitter and kicks it all over Bella*

*Lights come back on*

Rogue: Time for you to go bye bye bitch! *Rogue launches herself at Bella and starts banging her head on the floor*

Bella: *Screams*

Rogue: Stupid *slam* mindless *slam* BITCH! *slam slam slam*

Bella: Leave me alone! Edward will save me!

Edward: Bitch you tripped me!

Alice: Thought you were dead.

Edward: I'm all over the floor. I live from the glitter.

Alice: …Okay.

Rogue: Too bad. Hell to the mother fucking NO you fugly piece of shit! *Rogue kicks Bella across the room*

Bella: I think I cracked a rib

Rogue: No shit Sherlock - I'm going to crack more than just ribs you brainless whore - if you haven't noticed already Eddie is just glitter decorating the floor *gloop* Oops I think I might have stepped on his eye *Rogue grins evilly then put on medical gloves*

Bella: Wh-Whats that for?

Rogue: *Sticks hand down Bella's throat and pulls out her uterus and tosses it to Bob* No more Nesserella!

Bella: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Bob: What am I supposed to do with this?

Rogue: Eat it, use it to perform a sex change operation on yourself so you can carry the little Tofu baby in Elena's evil womb - I don't give a fuck - now don't disturb me - this has been a LONG fucking time coming!

*Rogue takes of Belt and starts whipping Bella*

Bill: I think I should go if she does THAT to Bella who knows what she'll do to me!

Eric: You're going nowhere! Go Rogue that's it my little minion!

Rogue: *Picks up Bella and throws her down on concrete* You mindless little conceited selfish bitch! This is for shoving women's worth back into the dark ages and undoing everything we've worked so hard to fucking achieve! *Rogue crack Bella's skull with a head but*

I can't watch! Too much blood... though seeing Rogue covered in blood is a turn on...

Pam: Tell me about it...

Rogue: Shove's Bella up Bill's ass till only her feet are sticking out his bum*

Bill: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rogue: Now it's your turn bitch boy *Rogue extinguishes cigar on Bill's forehead* I need cheerleaders.

*Sam, Castiel, Dean, John, Jeremy, Jacob and Seth dressed as cheerleaders* Rogue, Rogue, Rogue!

What are you guys doing?

Sam: She asked for cheerleaders - we're giving her what she wants or she might kill us!

Dean: Come on guys - louder!

Rogue Cheer squad: Go Rogue Go, Go Rogue Go

Rogue: "Rogue pulls out Bill's fangs* awww thanks guys, BTW Charity after I'm done here I'm going to take you in the back room and fuck you till you get amnesia *Rogue smiles then starts digging Bill's liver out with a silver spoon*

Alice: Your canon is ready!

Rogue: Awesome! *Rogue punches and kick's Bilella around then shoves them in the canon and blasts them to Pluto*

Beatrix: Rogue honey you okay? You're all bloody...

Rogue:*smiles* I'm all fine - I got rid of a big part of my anger - Charity... you're mine.

*Rogue throws Charity over shoulder and takes her to the backroom*

Damon: Wait whose going to cleanup?

Lestat: How dare she take my-

Sam: *Shoving mops in Damon and Lestat's hands* Shut up and let's clean up before Charity comes out and sees this mess...

Dean: An angry writer is worse than an angry Rogue.

...

3 hours later

*Charity wobbles out*

Lestat: Chi I was so worried about you!

Charity: What's a Chi? Where am I? Who are you? wait who am I? *Falls over*

Everyone except Eric and Pam: O.O

Eric: I told her not to overwork humans...

Rogue: *Skips out of back room* Well I'm done. Damon your last surprise tonight is you get a whole night at play boy mansion - you can choose one person to accompany you. My limo will pick you up after the show. Oh yeah and Dean - when Charity gets her memory back in a few hours tell her that Caroline doesn't become a vampire in the books, she gets pregnant with Tyler's twins and thinks they're Matt's.

Damon: That's going be awhile.

Rogue: Oh yeah - for the costume party - I'm going as a belly dancer. Katherine, Dean, Elena - I have torture planned for you next chapter.

Katherine: What the hell did I do!

Elena & Dean: Fuck.

Rogue: and Edward - you called Damon epically gay - go look in the fucking mirror sparkles - when I come back next chapter I will show you how epically gay you are bitchward!

Edward: …

Rogue: Bye guys! *Blows kisses*

Who is she?

Stefan: *Pats me on the head* It's all come back to you soon enough.

FutureActress: *throws a big fat jelly fish at Eric*

Eric: …*Peels it off of his face* Why?

FutureActress: Like you don't know!

Eric: …

FutureActress: Lestat! *throws life-size statue of Spongebob at him* Leave Stefan alone!

Lestat: Ow.

FutureActress: You wanna fight Eric? BRING IT!

Eric: Who let in the crazy little midget?

Pam: Don't kill her.

FutureActress: You think you can handle me?

Eric: *Stares at her*

FutureActress: BRING IT MOFO!

Eric: *Sighs*

FutureActress: Katherine any ideas on what I should to Eric and Edwierdo? I need a partner in crime. Also btw if I give Stefan a bunny, don't kill it.

Katherine: Can't promise on the bunny thing but get Eric when he's sleeping and blow up Edward.

Edward: Hey!

Katherine: I never liked your shiny ass.

FutureActress: *chucks a tv set at Eric*

Eric: Please stop.

FutureActress: Dr. Phil we don't need your annoying advice. *hits him on the head with a hammer* Edward DIE! DIE! DIE! *chases him around with a chainsaw* Come back here! *tackles him*

Everyone: o-o

Alice: Are you on a coffee or sugar high?

FutureActress: I just want revenge!

Alice: Okay.

FutureActress: Everyone, What! I feel like being a little bit more exciting besides worshipping Damon.

Elena: That's kinda too much.

FutureActress: I do things in my own pace. *Smiles* Bonnie, Adrian is the bomb!

Bonnie: I know! He's so cool!

Where is he?

Bonnie: He went to get something special for me.

FutureActress: Bob you annoying little stalker! *hits him with a frying pan*

Alice: Where is she getting all this stuff?

*shrugs*

FutureActress: Damon you can't have all of this anymore. *clad in cat woman costume* I love that Halloween is coming up! *jumps and hugs Stefan*

Damon: Ouch.

FutureActress: *purrs* wanna play?

Stefan: Yes.

Tara: No.

Stefan: …

FutureActress: Damon I can be won back as your cheerleader...Gah I can't help but still love you!

Damon: No one can get over me so easily!

Stefan: Please don't give him a bigger head.

Bonnie, Elena, & Katherine: Too late.

Damon: Shut up!

FutureActress: Dr. Phil Okay... Maybe I do have a few issues.

Dr. Phil: Well I can tell that sweet heart.

Quinn: I killed you already!

Katherine: Same here!

Dr. Phil: *Laughs* I'm the devil himself, how are you gonna kill me?

Damon: *Whispers to Stefan* I thought Jerry was him.

Dr. Phil: Oh. That's my other job. *Smiles*

Weird.

FutureActress: Gir PARTY in the backroom! *dances off again with Gir* Jack you can come too! Plenty of booze to go around!

Jack: Thanks love.

FutureActress: Everyone offer goes to everyone.

Okay!

Alice: Yay

FutureActress: *Glares at Eric* Fight me! Or are you too chicken to?

Eric: I'm not a fighter. I'm a spanker.

FutureActress: Is that suppose to scare me?

Eric: No…that's suppose to turn you on.

FutureActress: Pfft. Not interested.

Eric: Fine.

FutureActress: *Stabs him with a Katana*

Eric: *Twitch*

*8 hours later and still going at it.*

Damon looks like you got a problem.

FutureActress: Gir, I need a hug. *Hands him a waffle*

Gir: *Hugs her* Awww!

FutureActress: *splashes soda on Eric*

Eric: Will you ever quit woman!

FutureActress: What you afraid of a girl! Counting that I love Damon.

Eric: Nope. Just stop messing up my shit.

FutureActress: I'll do whatever I please! *steals Damon's leather jacket*

Damon: Hey!

FutureActress: Damon! *chucks teddy bear at him*

Edward: A teddy bear! Stop throwing all that heavy shit at me.

FutureActress: Deal with it! But I have a parting gift before I go for the day. *hands him a present*

Edward: Okay?

Ten seconds later *ends up being a bomb and explodes Eddie into pieces*

FutureActress: Damon *takes cat woman costume off, clad in only bra and lacy underwear* Keep it. I'll be in the backroom.

Damon: *Blush* Okay.

LoveHurts: Hey people I'm back!

Katherine: Oh dear lord save us now

LoveHurts: Can it Katherine I'm not here to fight with you I'm here to help Chi and Stefan with a very huge problem. Also Damon needs help too.

Damon: I need no help.

LoveHurts: Really Damon REALLY?

Damon: Yes I'm fine!

LoveHurts: Alright whatever you say... *whispers* get the hypnotist

Damon: Say what!

LoveHurts: Oh relax she's not here to help you.

Katherine: You'd better not come one step closer.

LoveHurts: Talk about paranoid. It's not for you either.

Alice: Oh so the mastermind returns

LoveHurts:*laughs* Thanks Alice

Alice: What's your plan today?

LoveHurts: You'll see.

Alice: I'm counting on a good time with this one

Did you come up with a plan for Lestat?

LoveHurts: Chi, you didn't think I forgot about you? Well don't worry I didn't. You're going to have to make sure he's out cold. Then you just get my friend the hypnotist to hypnotize him to stay away from you, Stefan and me.

Why you?

LoveHurts: Can't take chances with that fag. Do not need him running around obsessing over me.

Lestat: You hurt my heart!

LoveHurts: You have one?

Stefan: Thank you so frickin much you don't know how much this means!

LoveHurts: Anything for you Stefan.

Damon: I thought you were a team Damon .

LoveHurts: I was but then you went mental.

Everyone: You did go mental the other day.

LoveHurts: Bonnie if I did anything to get on your bad side I am truly sorry truce?

Bonnie: It's fine in fact I kinda like you.

LoveHurts: Thanks. And fagward oh gosh don't worry I still think you belong in hell

Edward: Evil. Monster. Devil in disguise.

LoveHurts: Thank you. Oh and Dr. Phil and Dr. drew please go back where you came from.

Dr. Phil: *Smiles* Never.

Katherine: Creepy old bastard.

LoveHurts: Oh and Damon, even though I'm not on any team right now I have to say watching you kiss Eric the other day was pretty hot.

Damon: You can't resist can you?

Everyone: O.O

Damon: Who can? I can pull both sexes.

Stefan: Great. He's head is bigger!

Everyone: *Nods*

Damon: Shut up!

LoveHurts: I'd better go see y'all later.

Bye.

Katherine & Edward: Stay away!

LoveHurts: I won't!

RoseJean Belikov Salvatore: *holds sides and falls over*

You okay.

RoseJean: *Laughs* Yes!

Ron: You guys are out of beer.

Jack probably drank it all.

Jack: …Yes. *Falls over*

*Shakes head*

RoseJean: I LOVE YOU RON! STEPHAN!*hugs them both and doesn't let go*

Stefan: *Blush* Okay.

Ron: More love.

RoseJean: Loved it Chi!

*Rubs back of me head* I'm happy you like it.

RoseJean: Bye!

Bye!

BroadwayAngelLyric: Elena, you're a whore. Edward AND Bob! Go stand in a corner, it hurts to look at you.

Elena: O.O.

Starts off strong.

Edward: I'm not doing shit!

Bob: I want cheese.

Broadway: Can we bring Mason on? I have a bone to pick with him for fucking with Damon. BTW I love Steroline now over Stelena on the show.

Okay.

Damon: My fan girls are the best.

Broadway: Damon, are you okay? I'm gonna kill that wolf for giving you vervain.

Damon: I'm good but that bastard could have killed me. Take him way past 10ft.

10 ft?

Stefan: Human's are buried six feet under.

Damon: He needs four more.

But the guy looks hot.

Damon: *Narrows eyes* He tried to kill me!

You try to kill me every other day!

Damon: There is a huge difference.

…

Broadway: Bella, since you hate Eddie boy, I'll take it easy on you so I'll just slap you once.

Bella: *Closes eyes* I rather get slapped then half the other stuff that happened to me on the show.

Broadway: *Smirks* Look she's flinching.

Bella: Please hurry up.

Broadway: I'm going to wait. It'll be let torture to you.

Bella: *Gasp*

Broadway: *Glares at Bill* Bill on the other hand isn't so lucky. Pam, get the concrete mixer, this mofo is gonna get a taste of his own medicine. *chains Bill down in silver and lets Eric throw him in a pit, then Pam fills the hole with concrete* Have fun with Russell bitch!

Bill: *Screams*

Ron: Stop being a pussy and take it like a man!

Broadway: Well said. Stefan, I was so glad to see that the show version of you is drinking human blood. Baby steps to badassness.

Stefan: Thanks.

Broadway: Bonnie, I don't mean to sound like Stephanie Meyer, but you're going to need blood to drink during this pregnancy. Sam volunteers himself.

Sam: Wait! What!

Broadway: Bob, you and Elena? Just the thought alone burns my eyes. Here's a soul, it's Seth's. I was bored and he was the closest person to me so yeah.

Seth: …I'll never get you a chrismad present.

Broadway: What you gonna do? Carve something?

Seth: *Growls*

Broadway: Shut up. Gir, I watched some Invader ZIM reruns last weekend and I love it as much now as I did a couple years ago so in celebration, here's some waffles.

Gir: YAY!

Broadway: Jack, I could've sworn I saw you in a Ke$ha video but it was a hobo-looking extra. Anyway, here's 12 bottles of rum. Go wild.

Jack: WHOOOO!

Broadway: Katherine, you and Mason? I hope you have a good reason for this or else next chapter I'll show my disliking by puking on your shoes.

Katherine: *Flips her off* I don't have to explain myself.

Broadway: You better hope you know what your doing?

Katherine: I do.

Broadway: Chi, if you still like that traveling show idea, I think the first city to stop in should be Hershey, PA or Death Valley, CA, I think they'd both be funny places to cover.

I would go to Death Valley but…*Looks at Damon*

Damon: I would take it literally.

…

Broadway: Edward, fuck you. *buries Edward in concrete like Bill*.

Edward: *Screams*

Broadway: *Rubs ears* Soo loud! *Turns to Damon* Damon, are you okay? You basically raped Eric. It's supposed to be the other way around. Should we be worried?

Damon: It was one time! Besides, you should be worrying about Sam.

Sam: What I do!

Damon: I told ya'll in the beginning, he's first.

Sam: …

Broadway: What?

Damon: Yep.

Broadway: Bella, I shouldn't have taken it easy on you. I just heard about some idiots being you and Fagward for Halloween. Oh hellllllllllll naw. *puts on Willam Regal's brass knuckles and punches Bella in the face, breaking her nose. Puts her in headlock while kneeing her in the back, breaking her spine. And finally, stops her until she's just a bloody heap. Ok, I'm done now, bye.

Bye!

Broadway: BTW Riley I fucking love you and I'm going to be Lady GaGa for halloween. I'm in the blue Poker Face outfit. And no Damon, I'm not Barney.

Damon: That bastard messed it all up for me!

What Lady Gaga?

Damon: Yes!

*Laughs*

Damon: Shut up!

Well the show is done! I like to thank MinaFTW, Crowley's Bitch 13, FutureActressKS, Quinn and Thierry Pimp, tootoughtummy, Breakfastclub85, BeatrixMayfeir, Rogue Assasin, LoveHurts1996, RoseJean Belikov Salvatore, and BroadwayAngelLyric for reviews. Thanks for reading! Peace!

Bonnie: Love!

Alice: And chocolate!

See ya soon!

Damon: FUCK ALL YOU GUY'S I'M GOING HOME!

What happened this time?

Eric: I told him to kiss me and everyone was cheering him on.

Leave him alone.

Stefan: Yeah. He's confused right now.

Katherine: In the brain.

Damon: *Grabs my arm* Talk. Now!

WHAT!

Lestat: Let her go!

Damon: Make me!

Alice: Bye guys.

Damon: I'll Batman your ass!

Lestat: Bring it!


	69. How to ruin a fight

Shows they can't do together!

Trouble maker!

Damon: …Chi?

Yes?

Damon: What the hell did you do to her? ...Not that I care.

But I'm Chi, see. *Smiles*

Damon: You're a fucking dude in a dress.

Don't you like guys?

Damon: …*Picks him up and throws him somewhere* Asshole.

Hey Damon….he was gonna host with me.

Damon: Well he's dead.

*Sighs* Today is fan girl…whatever it is.

Lestat: Please say fight because I got a bone to pick with a few people. *Glares at Damon*

Damon: You're not even worth my time.

I was supposed to have one last Fan girl wars. So since we're not doing anything…*Yanks off clothes to reveal a sexy host outfit while holding a microphone* WELCOME TO FAN GIRL WARS!

Damon: How long you've been practicing that?

All week.

Bonnie: About time!

Bill: Do I have to join this…*Looks around* festivities.

Yep! Now bring out the big screen!

Everyone: …

What happened to the big screen? *Evil eye*

Damon: Hey, don't look at me.

Stefan: I'm not stupid enough to steal anything from you.

Alice: Not me!

Bonnie: Nope.

Edward: …

Why so quite Edward?

Edward: *Random Blabbing*

What?

Alice: He said you took his tongue and threw it somewhere.

Really?

Ron: She was in her psycho bitch moments.

Okay?

Edward: *Blabbing*

Alice: He said he can taste some thing on his tongue.

Elena: *Blushing*

Damon: Oh come on!

Elena: *Moans* S-S-Stop Edward.

*Coughs* Let's start the show.

Ron: Do I have to fight because…I just don't want to.

Knowing you, you'll probably win.

Ron: It wouldn't be fair to the others.

Fine but everyone else fight.

Katherine: No problem here.

Bella: I do. I just got here and you expect me to fight? Hell no.

Edward: *Blabbed*

Alice: He said Bitch you're getting in that ring before he rings your neck.

Bella: I would love to see that.

Guys wait until the fight!

Katherine: Nope. BRAWL FOR ALL!

*No one moves*

Katherine: Pussies.

Damon: Yeah, yeah.

Dean: I want a fight with Damon.

Damon: Why? Because I was going after your fairy little brother. My taste changed.

Me & Lestat: STAY AWAY! *Looks at each other*

Lestat: Thought he was going after you.

I thought it was you!

Dean: He might try to go for Tara.

Stefan: *Growls*

Damon: Dumb asses.

Edward: *Babble*

Alice: He said that you are a bitch and have no right to choose anyone because you suck.

Damon: *Glares at Alice*

Alice: Don't kill the messengers.

Damon: I do.

Caroline: Well here I am.

Tyler: So when is this getting started?

Mason: Hey.

Damon: Great. More people.

Yep.

Mason: So what we stumble into?

Lestat: You're cute.

Mason: *twitch* Stay away. You're not my type.

Lestat: What is your type?

Mason: The one's with boobs.

Lestat: So mean. That's why I have Stefan.

Stefan: *Sighs* I thought I was free for a second.

Let's start off with Q & A shall we?

Caroline: Um…why is Elena and Bonnie pregnant?

It's a very long story that I don't feel like telling so Damon you do it.

Damon: Pfft. You're not my master.

*Snaps fingers and a paper appears out of nowhere* Now what am I gonna do with this?

Damon: *Snatches the paper and reads it*

Stefan: *Gasp*

Damon: What?

Stefan: Damon can read?

Eric: I was thinking the same thing.

Damon: Both of you can die!

Tyler: Lively…huh?

Mason: Yep.

Crowley's Bitch 13: Chi hey I just remembered you said you'd post a Damon/Eric slash and you never did!

…I forgot.

Damon: Good excuse.

Shut up Damon.

Crowley's Bitch: Are you going to do it?

*Nods* I have to fix it first.

Crowley's Bitch: Okay. Crowley I need demon blood please!

Crowley: *Smirk* Sure.

Crowley's Bitch: Yay!

Crowley: Anytime.

Crowley's Bitch: Let me finish this first. Edward *Hands mountain lion then gives kiss on cheek* I'm still being nice to you!

Edward: *Babble*

Damon: GIVE HIM HIS DAMN TONGUE!

Elena: Fine. *Grabs the tongue from under her shirt and throws it at him*

Really?

Elena: You like Edward too.

Liked. There's a differences.

Edward: Hurt my feelings why don't you.

You got Elena pregnant. I'm not ready to be the girl who has to deal with the baby mama!

Alice: You like him?

Nope. Asshole. *Mumbles under breath*

Damon: Let's get this over with so we can fight.

Crowley's Bitch: Sam *gives demon blood* Oh Dean!

Sam: …Okay.

Crowley's Bitch: John *shows video that makes him grab his chest and fall down* it was a video of Sam and Dean having sex!

John: *Passes out*

Dean & Sam: DAD!

Crowley's Bitch: *Evil Laugh* So Fun!

Dean: Evil!

Crowley's Bitch: Haha! But on a serious note Castiel has there ever been a demon angel hybrid cus I may be the first one!

Castiel: You're the first successful one.

Crowley's Bitch: Meaning?

Castiel: You can take form of a human. Others…I…rather not say.

Damon: They are probably like Edward.

Edward: Up yours you bastard.

Damon: So scared. *Rolls eyes* Bitch.

Crowley's Bitch: *Purrs* Crowley. :*makes out for three hours* damn I love your accent just saw the episode with you and your hell hound. Damn!

Seth: How come I don't get love like that?

*Shrugs* Who knows?

Crowley's Bitch: Castiel *sends Sam to hell* happy? *states making out with him*

Castiel: *Holds thumbs up*

Dean: SAM!

Katherine: Oh. He died. Never cared.

So mean.

Katherine: *Smiles before throwing a knife at me*

*Screams*

Damon: *Boredly* Oh no.

Sebastian: *Catches it*

All the girls *and Lestat*: Swoon.

*Blushes* T-Thanks Sebastian.

Damon: *Growls* WHO THE FUCK IS THAT!

He's from Kuroshitsuji.

Damon: English wannabe Japanese.

*Flicks him off* He's from the Black Butler.

Damon: *Looks him up and down* He don't look black.

You know what…never mind.

Sebastian: Don't pay him no mind. Is there anything else you needed from me?

*Turns red* No.

Sebastian: *Bends down* Are you sure?

*Gulps* This is an order: Protect this place.

Sebastian: *Smirks* Yes, my lord.

*Fangirl scream*

Damon: I don't see what's so good about him.

Stefan: Me either.

Eric: Looks human but your to dense to see what he really is.

Crowley's Bitch: And that is?

Pam: He's a demon.

Caroline: He called you his lord.

I asked him to call me that. It's so smexy! *Melts*

Tyler: Why don't we get back to the show?

Alright.

Crowley's Bitch: Damon after what happened to u last episode I love u again. So in addition to being Crowley's and Castiel's bitch I'm also yours!*sigh* I feel so used.

Damon: *Flicks Crowley off* I got her back.

Crowley: We're sharing her…*Eyes glow* For now of course.

Crowley's Bitch: Tense. *Eats Popcorn*

Alice: Can I have some?

Crowley's Bitch: *Nods*

Damon: *Shivers*

Crowley's Bitch: Eric I dare you to give Damon a lap dance to the song in my head by Jason durulo.*ties Damon down with vervain ropes* well go ahead!

Damon: Chi!

Sebastian: You want me to do anything?

Nope.

Damon: Just wait! *Tries to break out of the chair*

*Presses music on*

Eric: *Licks his lips and walks over to Damon*

Damon: Let me go! *Thrashes in his seat*

Bonnie: This seems to be fitting for him.

Sebastian: Milady, are we ever going to get to the fighting?

*Nods* After this.

Sebastian: Perfect.

Eric: *Seats on Damon's lap, shirtless*

Damon: *Twitch*

Crowley's Bitch: I feel like being mean this chapter soooo...*hands every one chocolate except Crowley, Cas, Damon, Edward and Chi* (after they eat it) have fun with explosive diarrhea!

O.o

Sebastian: Happy I didn't eat it.

Bonnie & Elena: WHY POISON THE CHOCOLATE! WHAT THE CHOCOLATE DO TO YOU!

Crowley's Bitch: I just felt mean. *gives waffles* dance party?

Gir: Yay!

Crowley's Bitch: Well I'm tired everyone so bye!

Damon: UNTIE ME!

Eric: *Licks the side of his face*

Stefan: *Pukes*

Damon: *Pukes*

*Shakes head*

Sebastian: I'll get a mop.

Thank you.

BeatrixMayfeir: Cassss *jumps on him and makes out* I'm back, happy? And I'm always glad to satisfy your desires! I'm your bitch, Master! Ask and you shall receive! God, you were so hot in the last ep! So cool and powerful! Please, Master, take me in the backroom and do whatever please you with me! *Grabs Castiel and takes him to the backroom*

Stefan: Should we untie him?

Damon: *Twitches and growls* You better Stefan if you don't want to be on my shit list. *Glares at me*

Eric: I say leave him. I wanted to try a new pos…

Damon: LALALALALALALA! I CAN'T NASTY BULLSHIT LALALALA!

Eric: Real mature Damon.

Damon: Never claimed to be.

Hours later.

Beatrix: By the way I totally agree with Rogue: no TVD woman deserves Damon! The Bonnie from the book is absolutely better and she's a redhead and I love redheads! And Damon you deserve to be with someone who can truly love you and I promise to protect you and she or he when you find them! But for god sake stay away from that ugly bitch of Sam!

Damon: I'm over him. I'll freakin screw myself!

How?

Damon: Wanna watch.

…Maybe?

Beatrix: This story is rotting minds. *Laughs* Fun huh?

Bonnie: I'm offended by the comment earlier.

Beatrix: Don't care! *Sticks out tongue* Master Castiel may I go with Rogue in the backroom, please? I wish to thank her for torturing Edward, Bella and Bill! I think she deserves a massage to relax after her wonderful job! And I might convince her to help torturing Sam *throws a potion at Sam and he disappears*!

Castiel: Yes. *Ultimate happy face*

Dean: Oh god what did you do to him now?

Beatrix: I sent him on Planet Hulk!

John: *Gets off the floor and dusted himself off* Where's Sam?

Ron: He poofed and died.

John: *Faints*

Dean: *Stares at Ron* Why?

Ron: Looked hella fun.

Beatrix: Oh and Chi, Caroline in the book becomes an half werewolf half demon fox half The Exorcist girl thing! Disgusting, believe me! She's better in the tv series!

*Stares at Caroline* I rather have you as a vampire than…what this is.

Caroline: It's less messy this way.

Katherine: I should have press on the pillow harder.

Caroline: *Growls* What?

Seth: *Sighs*

Beatrix: Ok I need to go but Master if you call me I'll be back immediately! Bye Chi *kisses you on the cheek* I'll bring you a chocolate cake next time!

Yay chocolate! Caroline since you're new and we don't have our big screen of wonders; please decide what the first battle will be.

Caroline: Do I have to fight?

Nah. Your new we don't want blood on the new people.

Damon: Thanks for your concern. *Tries to break the ropes*

Caroline: Let's go with Katherine vs. Alice.

Alice: YES! *Jumps up and down in excitement*

*Pulls clothes off to reveal a cheerleader outfit* GO ALICE!

Katherine: Thought you were neutral?

You pulled knifes at me…many times.

Katherine: Don't be mad that you dogs in up in the hallway hanging from there necks!

I'm calling PETA on you and I don't have a dog.

Katherine: *Smiles* What about that cute little sister of yours.

PETOPHILE!

Katherine: You take stupidity to a whole new level.

My dad!

Katherine: You mean my dad?

No, I mean my dad, you want him.

Katherine: *Walks to the ring*

Alice: *Runs to the ring*

*Microphone in hand* No dirty…never mind. Knowing Katherine…just BEGIN!

Katherine: *Throws a punch*

Alice: *Dodges it* Come on Kitty Kat; let me see your claws! *Kicks Katherine in her side*

Katherine's fangirl: BRING IT ON! *Holding a mallet*

Alice's Fan girl: DIE WERE YOU STAND! *Holding a bat*

Katherine: *Grabs Alice's leg and pulls her closer but Alice flips out of her grip*

You guys know the rules! The two main fighters have to stand in the ring. Fangirls can help but Main fighters have to pin other fighters to the mat! Other then that have a brawl!

Tara: Wow…do I have to do this?

You can fight Elena.

Elena: Hey!

You're the only other human on the show besides Tara, she's a complete disadvantage.

Elena: So you're okay with Bonnie fighting me but when it comes to Tara your sympatric?

Well I'm not on sides were women who steal other women men. But I should be more nicer. I need to take a lesson from Maury.

Elena: *Twitch* I want to punch you in the head. What about Bella!

*Screams*

Katherine: *Flies out of the ring*

Alice: *Flies out of the ring*

FUCK I MISSED IT! Sebastian play back!

Sebastian: *Nods* Well both Lady Katherine and Lady Alice knocked each other out. Katherine punched Alice and Alice kicked Katherine.

Well their both out of the ring so it's a tie. Can you see if their okay?

Sebastian: Yes. *Goes to the ring*

*Swoons* I want him to rape me.

Tara: Where you find him at?

England. That deep voice can make kitties purr.

Lestat: *Twitch* What's so great about that guy? *Folds his arms*

LoveHurts1996: Hey, I'm missing anything?

Nope it just started.

Love hurts: Hey everyone! Well everyone... And Fagward.

Edward: Oh good lord she's back. WHY DO YOU HATE ME!

Love hurts: Well he's definitely gayer than last show.

Edward: I AM NOT GAY!

Love hurts: I beg to differ. Now stop harassing me before I capture your soul and bury it in a dark tomb.

Edward: You scare me. *Shakes*

Love hurts: Then I'm doing my job.

Alice: Wow that was one threat

Love hurts: Thanks Alice. Oh and Damon?

Damon: Yes?

Love Hurts: I love that I'm one of the top three reviewers you want to have sex with *winks*

Damon: So you're team Damon again?

Love hurts: Are you kidding of course I am!

Damon: Good.

Love hurts: Stefan you're still awesome *hands giant bunny*

Stefan: *takes it* Thanks.

LoveHurts: Anyway! Oh and Jeremy you rule *hugs him*

Jeremy: Thanks *hugs back*

Damon: *twitch*

Love hurts: Where's Katherine? Is she so scared of me that she's hiding?

LoveHurts: Good cuz I may need everyone's help later.

Katherine: What makes you think I would help you?

LoveHurts: It involves injuring fagward and Bella.

Katherine: I'm in.

LoveHurts: Good. Hey Chi did you get Lestat off your back?

Yup worked perfectly!

Love hurts: Good. Oh and Jack, haven't given you a thing since I got here*hands bottle of rum*

Jack: YAY!

Love hurts: Oh Bonnie how are you and Adrian doing?

Bonnie: We're as happy as we've ever been. I would like to say that but Rogue keeps killing him!

Adrian: It's really hard to cover these holes in my shoes.

LoveHurts: At least your back! *Smiles*

Adrian: Not for long. *Sighs*

Dr. Phil: I think you have some issues we need to work out

LoveHurts: Hell no I don't. Maybe you do but not me! Stand back everyone! *whips out bomb and bombs Dr. Phil and Dr. Drew*

Everyone except Katherine and LoveHurts: O.O

Katherine: Yes! Finally oh thank you so fucking much! FREEDOM!

LoveHurts: No prob it was fun.

Alice: Wow. That was one plan today.

LoveHurts: That wasn't my plan for today. He just needed to get the hell outta here. Oh and Quinn you can be my bitch, I will defiantly go easy on you

Btw where'd you get the bag of weapons?

LoveHurts: A place that fagward will never find speaking of him I think we should send him and Bella to hell. Who's with me?

Everyone: We are!

LoveHurts: excellent surround him and then Damon and Stefan use your vampire speed to tie him to that Vanir where we'll all get the chance to beat them both to a pulp. Once that's done, ill get my bag of weapons and bomb them to hell. Ready go!

~ 3 hours later~

LoveHurts: Okay time to send them to hell. Later bitches say hey to Dr Phil for us see ya in hell! *bombs Edward and Bella *

Katherine: I'm beginning to like you

love hurts: Me too truce?

Katherine: As long as you keep doing what you're doin

Damon: Yea good job today I'm proud backroom?

Love hurts: of course! But before I go I think I'm going to go as a gothic angel to the costume party!

Alice: nice!

LoveHurts: thanks. Okay Damon let's go have some fun

Everyone: O.O

How he get out of his seat?

Stefan: Just let them have his fun.

You did it.

Stefan: *Sighs* Yes.

~ 1 hour later~

Stefan: ... And so the doctor said you're a little horse! *bursts out laughing*

Love hurts: No offence but that was really terrible.

Everyone: Yes it was.

Damon: So you guys were stuck her listening to my brother's kindergarten level jokes for the last hour?

Everyone: yes!

Damon and LoveHurts: Oh we're sorry

Jeremy: Too late for that now. My mind has bee raped with bad jokes. No I serious I don't know if I should call the cops for this or not.

LoveHurts: I gotta go but I will be back soon! Notify me if any one of the faggots we sent to hell today returns bye!

Bye!

Damon: I'm counting on seeing you again love.

Love hurts: For you Damon? Anything! Bye Chi, bye everyone!

Bye!

Alice: Owie! My head.

Okay.

MinaFTW: I'm pissed!

*Blinks a few times* Why?

Mina: The producers are fuckin assholes they are trying to put bonnie with Jeremy and Luka!

Huh?

Jeremy: I'm not that bad…am I?

Mina: I'll never let you do it! Protects season one Bonnie and doesn't let the producers harm her! I will die saying Bamon! *Holding up a Bamon flag*

Elena: But...

Mina: Shut up bitch Bamon all the way, Delena fuckin sucks! * slaps Elena and leaves*

O.o…what just happened?

Elena: I got slapped! *Holds cheek*

Damon: That was …random.

*Nods* So Tyler who's next?

Tyler: I want to fight and it'll be against…*Points at Jacob*

Jacob: Bout damn time. *Smirks*

Okay! Tyler vs. Jacob on the way!

Ron: ….I need a beer.

Jack: Same here. I'm not sane without it.

Damon: Says you. *Hits me on the head*

O-Ow! You bastard!

Damon: Oh. It's more than that you little….

Sebastian: I suggest you reframe of threating my master.

Damon: Bring it on pretty boy.

Sebastian: *Cocks his head to the side* Sorry. You're not my type.

Damon: That's not what I meant.

Sebastian: Well if it's a fight you want? *Eyes glow* May we take it outside.

I love you Sebastian!

Tyler & Jacob: HEY WE'RE IN THE RING!

*Coughs* Sorry. Tyler vs. Jacob. Fangirls ready?

Tyler fan girls: YEAH!

Jacob fan girls: Take your shirt off its hot!

BEGIN!

Tyler: *Runs towards Jacob and throws a punch*

Bonnie: Oh shit.

What?

Bonnie: My water broke!

Elena: GOD MY DID TOO!

OH SHIT!

Stefan: Great more Damon's in the world.

You said it.

Lestat: Does anyone know how to deliver babies?

Dr. Phil: Don't look at me?

Dr. Drew: If the babies were crack heads I could help.

Katherine: Their useless! *Throws a bucket of water on them*

SEBASTIAN! This is an order: Deliver theses babies!

Sebastian: *Bends on one knee* Yes, my lord.

Damon: Him saying that turns you on?

Like a light switch!

Damon: Fucking weirdo.

Bonnie & Elena: WILL YOU PLEASE PAY ATTENSION!

Sorry, sorry. Damon pick up Elena and take her to the backroom.

Damon: Why?

…You really want to deal with a very angry witch right now?

Damon: Point taken. Come on Elena. *Picks Elena up* Let's go.

Sebastian: *Picks up Bonnie*

Bonnie: I DON'T WANT TO BE TOUCHED!

Sebastian: *Stares down at her*

Bonnie: But if it's you I'm okay with it.

She's also a sucker for goldish eyes.

Jacob: What about our match?

It'll be postponed until the babies arrive.

Tyler: Fuck. And I'm all worked up too.

FutureActressKS: So their having the babies now?

*Nods* All five of them are gonna be born today.

FutureActress: I want to see.

*Elena's and Bonnie's screams*

FutureActress: Then again. Let me do my thing.

Okay!

FutureActress: *Throws a shoe at Zero* That's for shooting Damon the other day. You do not want to piss me off.

Zero: You said shoot and I did.

FutureActress: Eric and Edward. Not Damon.

Zero: I don't like Damon. Bastard can die for all I care.

FutureActress: *Growls* Damon*hug* I love you!

Damon: How did you get back here?

FutureActress: My love transients all reasoning!

Gir: I want a waffle.

FutureActress: kind of busy at the moment...

Gir: WAFFLE!

FutureActress: Okay, okay! *Let's go of Damon and glares at Eric* You better sleep with one eye open!*tackles*

4 hours later and still fighting.

Gir: DANCE PARTY! *disco ball comes out and lights shut off*

Bonnie: Why is there a party…WHEN I'M GIVING BIRTH!

Gir: It's always a good time to party.

Elena: *Twitch* Not now!

FutureActress: Eric this is not the end of this!

Eric: *Sighs*

Damon: Make yourself useful and hold Bonnie's hand.

Eric: *Stares at Bonnie* I'm not stupid you asshole.

FutureActress: Edward now don't think I didn't forget about you...or maybe we can finally be friends.

Edward: Really?

FutureActress: *Smirks* Not really! *drags him and throws him off a cliff* AND DON'T COME BACK!

Ouch.

FutureActress: Be back soon!

Hannah: How long till the babies arrive?

Bonnie: A LONG FUCKING TIME!

Hannah: …So bitchty.

I heard that it's very painful and lash out.

Hannah: *Sighs* Cas I make you do a lot of things. Is there anything you want me to do that doesn't involve killing Sam, not daring you to sing or letting Dean go?

Castiel: Why don't you not dress me up when I'm singing.

Hannah: *Mumbles* I doubt that.

Castiel: Huh?

Hannah: Okay. Sam ya know, I think we could be good friends if we both made an effort.

Sam: Maybe.

Hannah: Chi I miss when you would update every night in the summer *sad face*

I do too. But school is eating away at my life. *Cries in a corner*

Hannah: Damon I remember when I used to love you the most, then Dean stole my heart. *glances dreamily at Dean*

Damon: Ouch?

Dean: *Blush* Thanks.

Hannah: We should go out more.

Sam: *Twitch*

Hannah: Edward why do you constantly try to find out where I live?

Edward: Maybe I'm trying to rape you?

Hannah: Pedophile! Apple rapist!

Edward: Apple…*Crushes an apple*

Hannah: See!

Edward: *Twitch*

Hannah: Sam since you have puppy eyes, I shall now call you Puppy!

Sam: *Twitch*

Hannah: Too much twitching is bad for you.

Sam: *Sighs*

Hannah: Elena: You need a hug. *hugs*

Elena: I don't need a hug…I NEED THESE THINGS OUT OF ME!

Bonnie: Amen to that!

Hannah: Okay? Jeremy you are awesome. I wish you were my brother.

Jeremy: Thanks.

Hannah: Cas I have come to the realization that you are kinda hot.

Castiel: Took you long enough.

Hannah: I'm going to wait around. I want to see what these babies are like.

FutureActress: I'm back!

Eric: *Deep sigh*

FutureActress: *throws a big fat jelly fish at him*BRING IT!

Gir: Yay!

FutureActress: Eric: *finally pins him down* You are not really my type. *pounds his face in* If anyone's going to bring you down, it'll be me. *drags him to torture room in the backroom*

10 hours later

FutureActress: *walks out limping* I really don't want to talk about it.

Eric: *Licks lips* I got what I wanted.

Gir: I want hug! *hugs Damon in an iron hold*

FutureActress: Gir! Stop it! If you wanna hug someone, hug me. Ugh! It hurts buddy. I promise I will buy you a whole ship full of waffles and syrup...and booze!

Jack & Ron: I'll take the booze.

FutureActress: So hot! *wearing the leather jacket that was stolen from him yesterday*

Damon: Are you gonna give that back?

FutureActress: Nope. Eric! *tackles again and while pinned to the floor ends up kissing*

Damon: Hey! Get off!

FutureActress: That was purely an accident Eric!

Eric: You know you want me. Stop fighting it.

FutureActress: *rips his head off*

Pam: You know that's not gonna stop him. Now he has interest in you.

FutureActress: *Twitch* Great. Katherine I say you should make Eric your bitch, or maybe mine. I haven't decided.

Eric: I already made her my bitch. Your next.

FutureActress: *Growl* You wish!

Eric: Oh. I do.

FutureActress: *Ignores Eric* Stefan: Don't let the haters get you down, Edwierdo has nothin' on you.

Stefan: Thanks.

Eric: You want a fight. I'll give you one! *throws her over his shoulder*

FutureActress: Put me down! Damon's mine.

Eric: Mine!

FutureActress: Katherine, a little help here!

Jacob: Evil midget's kinda hot.

Damon: *twitch* Put her down! I need help here!

Eric: *Tosses her to Katherine*

FutureActress: *Growls* That bastard is gonna pay!

Katherine: Sure. I wanted to kill that bastard for a long time now.

FutureActress: Where's Adrian Bonnie?

Bonnie: Getting something for me.

FutureActress: What.

Bonnie: Just something for the pain.

FutureActress: Damon I thinks it's really sweet that you want to decide which girl you want to give your whole heart to. *hands him a teddy bear with a heart on its belly*

Damon: Thanks.

Edward: I want one!

FutureActress: *chucks a bowling ball at his head* I suggest you keep your mouth shut!

Gir: PARTY!

FutureActress: Gir: Edward stole your waffles *hands him a wooden stake*

Gir: *Eyes turn red* EDWARD!

Edward: I didn't do anything!

Gir: LIAR! *Chases Edward with the stake*

Everyone: …

Mason: I'm gonna help Sebastian.

Alright.

FutureActress: Damon Lap dance?

Damon: Sure. I got nothing better to do.

Elena & Bonnie: Delivering your kids!

Damon: It's be for a little bit.

That's cruel Damon.

Damon: Never said I care.

(afterwards)

FutureActress: OMG * melting into a puddle* but I like having a little control *pulls Damon on to lap* So sexy!

Elena: Damon's mine!

I'm staying out of it!

Dr Phil: Now, now, we can sort this out in a non violent way.

FutureActress: Shut up! Let me have my moment!

Stay out of it useless Phil.

Dr. Phil: Oh. *Frowny face*

FutureActress: Now Katherine make me over!

Katherine: Okay!

FutureActress: You're not Katherine. You're a guy in a wig.

Damon: *Picks the guy up and throws him out the window* STAY THE FUCK OUT!

You don't like him, huh?

Damon: You wanna go to?

Nope.

Damon: Then shut up.

Stefan: *Sighs*

Katherine: You should have let me gut that bastard.

Stefan: Too messy.

Katherine: But the mess is fun.

FutureActress: Make me over Katherine and keep the knifes away from me okay.

Katherine: Can't promise that. *Grags Future into the dressing room*

Bonnie: *Screams*

Sebastian: She's crowing.

Whoa.

Sebastian: Do you want to see?

No. I'll throw up.

FutureActress: *stumbles out in a team Eric cheerleading outfit* What the heck is this! I didn't mean to kiss Eric. It was purely accident.

Eric: Keep telling yourself that.

Damon: Stefan help me cause I can't focus well he's rubbing my ass! *Twitch*

Stefan: Sure.

Eric: But it's so soft.

Damon: *Punches Eric*

Eric: I love you little love taps.

Damon: *Growls*

Stefan: Here I come.

FutureActress: Bella torture Eddie for me if you want.

Bella: After all this. Babies are so cute. It makes me want to have one.

Rogue: Kill her now!

O.O

FutureActress: Edward did you like that present from the other day? It rocked!

Edward: Evil!

FutureActress: I know! Eric and Katherine: whoever stole my team Damon cheerleading outfit better give it back! You're lucky that I have to go now.

Katherine's Bitch: Holy shit! I wrote a whole bunch and it deleted it wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! *looks at Jeremy and Seth* That's why I like you to best.

Seth: Who you like best out of the both of us?

Jeremy: Yeah!

Katherine's Bitch: GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! *hands Gir waffle* i want a hug?

Jeremy: Don't dodge the question!

Gir: *Hugs her*

Katherine's Bitch: I feel so loved. Stefan, please tell me pleeese I won't be mean to you for 5 whole chapters! *puppy dog eyes*

Stefan: *Blush* T-ara.

Where's Tara?

Stefan: She went to go get something.

Oh.

Katherine's Bitch: Out of Eric, Katherine, and Alice...I would rather be Katherine's bitch so therefore yeah lol...Just changed the username. Lol

Alice: So mean! *Pouts*

Eric: No skin off my bones.

Katherine's Bitch: Alice, *high five* It takes 7 of those docs to hold me down hehe is it fun in an asylum?

Alice: Depend on which one you went to. *Smiles*

Katherine's Bitch: Sam! *grins drunkly* I can be even more creepy! *starts throwing paint at him* You will look prettiful that color!

Sam: *Freezes up* I don't know if to run are pretend to be dead.

Katherine's Bitch: *Laughs*

Sam: *Shivers*

Katherine's Bitch: Well Ima go now! Tell me when the babies get here.

Sebastian: It'll be soon.

Tootoughtummy: I'm in a backroom kind of mood. John Winchester, you're up first.*Drags him back* Sam, you're coming too. You get to watch. Hopefully it will scar you enough to be brain dead. *Drags him back too* Be back in a jiffy.

Three hours later...

Sam: GET ME OUT OF HERE! DEAN! THIS IS SICK! *Throws up*

Another two hours...

Sam:*Runs out* She's a beast. *Shudders*

Dean: Poor Sammy.

John: *Walks out wobbly* Wow. She great.

Dean: Ew.

Tootough: *I walk out next with a big grin* Okay got that out of the way. Anyways on to the next order of business. Damon, its okay to be gay. Nothing wrong with that. Want Stefan to sing the 'If You Were Gay' Song?

Stefan: No Stefan doesn't.

Tootough: Oh well*Shrugs* I tried. Next up Edward...hmm...what to do with you today? I know! Have some animal blood. It's totally non poison. Don't worry. I decided not to follow through with the ignore you thing because then you're going to be even more annoyingly emo.

Edward: I'm not EMO!

Bella: Stop lying to yourself.

Edward: Fuck you Bella.

Bella: *Shrugs*

Tootough: Little wittle Edo fairy hates it when people ignore him doesn't he? *Pinches his cheek*

Edward: *Growls*

Tootough: Ah…Elena, Elena. Sigh...what to do with the dumbass bitch? *Cuts off her hair and chokes her with it* Ah gotta love hair. Solves most problems.

Elena: T-Trying…to...give…birth here!

Tootough: Never cared. The tighter the better. Like Gir's hugs. The tighter the better.

Gir: *Hugs Tootough* Yay.

Tootough: Okay…that's too tight.

Gir: Love.

Tootough: Already. Help me.

Gir let go.

Tootough: Okay.

Gir: Aw!

Tootough: Well that's all for me this go round. Charity? Next chapter, its you and me and the backroom. Got it? Well bye!

Alright. Bye!

Rogue Assasin: I am sooooo epically tired I spent half an hour driving around cause I was lost going to a job interview! Damon - I want my 50 mill *Rogue pouts and stomps foot* I'm sooooo tired *yawn* Hey Charity how's your memory?

A little better.

Rogue: Want a replay... well when I'm less tired... I'm back and re energized. Oh Bonnie Honey... in case you forgot - I killed Adrian - remember he's down shoveling coal in the pits of hell while Hitler gives it to him from behind. - I'll give you a replay...

Bonnie: *Sighs* Here we go.

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and Adrian appears*

Adrian: Yes FREEDOM!

Damon: So that's where he's been.

Rogue: Not for long bitch *Rogue rips Adrian's beating heart out and gives it to Bella*

Bella: What am I supposed to do with it?

Rogue: Eat it.

Bella: It's beating! Ew!

Rogue: *Demon voice* EAT IT!

Bella: *Swallows Adrian's heart whole and chokes*

Bonnie: How could you Adrian!

Rogue: Don't worry he's back in hell shoveling coal while hitler gives it to him... Bonnie you don't deserve Damon - you're whiny and annoying and I bet those babies aren't Damon's they're probably Stefan's.

Bonnie: How dare you!

Rogue: Shut the fuck up or I'll let Kat rape you in hell.

Bonnie:...

Elena: Serves her right.

Rogue: Say something?

Elena: No...

Rogue: *Backhands Elena* You're not worthy enough to even talk to me bitch ass - go sit next to Bob and don't even think of molesting him!

Elena: I'm having a baby here!

Rogue: *Eyes glow*

Elena: Fuck.

Rogue: Bob my sweet little bunny what are your thoughts on becoming a daddy?

Bob: I want to name him Bobby!

Rogue: A very simple man. Hey Eric - let's play gynecologist again - Pam you can be the nurse.

*4 hours later - Rogue takes baby steps out*

Rogue: So sore but sooooooooooooo good.

Are you okay?

Rogue: My nether regions - I can't feel them.

Alice: I can help you fell them!

*Alice drags Rogue to the backroom*

*4 hours later*

Pam: That was fun!.

Rogue: Yeah thanks for the blood - it really got me going again.

Jasper: Where's Alice?

Rogue and Pam: Still fucking Eric

Jasper: Nooooooooooooooooooo! *Zero shoots Jasper with his Bloody Rose* Eddie - Torture time! *Edward starts running... into Beatrix* Not so fast Hon E.

Edward: Shit.

Rogue: so today we're going to show you how organ transplants work.

Beatrix: and our volunteers today are Sam and Edward - give them a hand!

Sam: No!

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and Sam and Edward are strapped to operating tables*

Beatrix: First we'll do an eye transplant.

*Rogue and Beatrix put on surgical gloves, Rogue pulls Edwards eye out and shows the audience while Beatrix pulls out Sam's and shows it to Dean and John*

Dean: Noooooooo His beautiful eye!

Castiel: *Twitch* I thought you said my eyes were beautiful!

Beatrix: *Shoves Sam's eye in Edward empty socket while Rogue shoves Fagward's eye in Sam's socket*

Rogue: Now for the heart transplant *Rogue pulls out Sam's heart*

Dean and John: SAM!

Castiel: YES! Make Bella eat it!

Rogue: Hold up angel boy - I'll deal with you and Kat later.

Katherine: How did I get dragged into this?

Beatrix: Just be lucky she isn't tearing you a new one *Beatrix uses jackhammer to open Fagward up and pulls his bright neon pink heart out*

Pam: Even his cold dead heart is gay...

*Rogue and Beatrix make out while holding Sam and Edward's hearts*

Dean: Put it back - he's going to die!

Beatrix:*Throws Edwards liver at Dean* Don't spoil our moment!

Rogue: *Rogue shoves Sam's heart in Edward and Beatrix shoves Edward in Sam*

John: OMG - my little boy is starting to sparkle!

Dean: Noooooooooooooooo you have changed my loving Sam into a sparkly bastard like Edward Nooooooooooooooooo.

Damon: I change my mind - I won't rape Sam anymore - he sparkles - Lestat your ass is mine!

It's mine! *Flips off Damon*

Louis: I had it first.

Stefan: More like he had you first...

Lestat: Awww Steffy I knew you wanted me.

Tara and Damon: Back off Mofo!

Castiel: Dean is mine!

Rogue: And you're Katherine's.

Castiel: Huh?

Katherine: I don't want that prehistoric bastard - I like little boys like Jeremy.

Alice: Hello Pedo Kat

Katherine: You got something to say bitch?

Alice: Bring it!

Rogue: Cool it I have an announcement!

Pam: Katherine is pregnant! Sorry I just couldn't hold it any longer!

Everyone: O_o

Dean: What does that have to do with Cas?

Rogue: He's the Daddy...

Dean: *Pulling at his hair and screaming* It can't be true!

Alice: It is.

*Rogue tosses envelope on the table with pictures*

OMG Cas - you did this?

Castiel: It was a moment of weakness!

Rogue: I have it on tape too - I'll play you a snippet.

Damon: Think you should close you legs Chi for you end up pregnant too.

*Takes a step back* Are you threating me?

Lestat: Better not.

Rogue: *Rogue presses button on the remote and Cas is seen wearing a halo and angel wings muff diving

Katherine: That's it my little Angel bitch boy!

Castiel: As you wish Mistress Katherine

Screen goes off*

Everyone: O_O

Dean: Why is it that every man I ever loved leaves me!

John: Settle down son.

Rogue: *Tosses Dean a box of Kleenex* Suck it up and grow some balls, Cas - you were Katherine's bitch boy... I told you you were supposed to make her your bitch.

Katherine: I will eat your soul Rogue!

Rogue: I don't think I have one you wrinkled shrivelled prehistoric scum sucking dog fucking bitch! *Rogue slaps Katherine across the face* That was for ruining Damon's life.

Stefan: She ruined my life too!

Rogue: I don't fucking care quazzi modo *Rogue kicks Stefan in the balls*

Tara: STEFAN!

Rogue: Now let's see who else is on my torture list... Bill and Bella... I did them yesterday... Dean... well he's too messed up over Sam becoming sparkly and Cas and Katherine's baby... Katherine... well I got her knocked up with an Angel baby that will smite her evil bitch ass from within... Wait I'm not done with you!

Dr Phil: Hello Katherine!

Dr Drew: So we meet again BWAHAHAHAHA - Get her!

*Evil mini Doc Phil and Doc Drews tie Katherine in vervain ropes and take her away.

Rogue: Damon I am honored that I'm in your top 3 - you're in my top 3 too along with Eric and Pam and Zack Effron.

Bonnie: But that's four.

Eric and Pam: We are one.

Bonnie: Oh...kay?

Rogue: So this Q is for Everyone: Which reviewer would you NEVER want to get mad?

I couldn't mad at any of them.

Damon: Cause their so nice to you.

Yep.

Damon: Can it. I can't wait till you get a flamer to knock you off your…*gets hit in the side of the head with a scepal* Who…

Sebastian: *Smirks* Please reframe from threating my master.

Damon: Bastard!

Bonnie: I could…never get mad at BeatrixMayfeir.

Elena: I could.

Aren't you two suppose to breath.

Bonnie & Elena: *Rolls eyes*

Damon: I can't get mad at most of these girls on here. A few…they know who they are.

Stefan: Can't get mad at Katherine's Bitch. She nice to me or Broadway either.

Alice: Everyone's been nice to me.

Jacob: No one is mean to me either.

Rogue: *Rogue appear behind Bella and Bill* Guess who!

Bill and Bella: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Rogue: *Rogue grabs Bill by the balls and pulls them right off them shoves them down Bella's throat and breaks of Bella's arm and starts beating up Bill with it* Take it you dumb mother fucker! *Rogue shove's Bills head up Bella's ass and set them both alight* DIE, DIE, DIE!

FutureActress: Wow.

Bella: SAVE ME!

FutureActress: Not stupid enough to get caught in the crossfire. I'm back! I think I'll just sit back and relax. *drags Eric by the ear* You are so annoying!

Eric: feeling's mutual.

FutureActress: now I'm just gonna party with Gir and do as I please.

Rogue: Guess who's back! Anyway I feel I haven't tortured people enough... well I haven't tortured Dean, John and Sam enough as Well as Edward and Bellatard.

Dean and John: You killed Sam!

Sam: I'm right here - I just sparkle...

Damon: Like a gay disco ball *Falls over laughing with Pam*

Dean and John: You're dead to us... we don't associate with the sparkly kind...

Rogue: Only with the kind that drinks Demon blood and might become the next Lucifer...

John: What!

Dean: Well Dad...

John: *Smacks Dean with his purse* It's not a purse it's a satchel!

Rogue: Right...

John: I told you to kill him before he turned bad!

Dean: I just couldn't... who would keep me warm at night...

John:*Smacks Dean with his purse again* The world could have ended.

Damon: It nearly did...

John: WHAT! *Grabs chest and falls down*

Sam: See Dad I'm not evil no more!

Eric: No you just sparkle - that's worse

Dean: Why are you ruining my happiness! *Cries*

Rogue: Cause you're a pussy - you aren't awesome no more that Dean I loved from Season 1 - 4 is DEAD and if he were here right now - he'd shoot you in the head nancy boy! *Rogue shoots Dean in the head* Where the fuck do you think you're going to?

Edward, Bill and Bella: Nowhere

Rogue: Shut up and sit the fuck down next to Bob - and don't even think of 'playing with him' I know you tried to rape my poor Bunny Bellatard

Bob: It was awful! She kept touching me!

Rogue: Oh Katherine!

Katherine: I'm not Katherine, I'm Elena!

Rogue: Doesn't matter I hate you both. *Rogue drop kicks Katherine's head then starts punching her in the face till she swallows all her teeth*

Damon: Guess I'll have to be getting grandma dentures *Falls down laughing with Pam*

*Looking skeptically at Damon and Pam* They're planning something aren't they...

Pam: We aren't planning anything *Smiles and winks at Damon before smooching him*

Bonnie, Elena and Katherine: O_O

Bonnie: Back off!

Rogue: Bonnie - sit your pregnant hormonal ass down, Damon isn't something you can own and if you can't treat him right then fuck off and go bang Edward - cause no one else here wants to screw you - TV Bonnie sucks! You can never be book Bonnie. People get old and die - your Gram was old you fucking retard stop blaming Damon for everything that goes on in your little witchy life.

Damon: Yeah! *Holding Pam's hand*

Okay Damon what's up with you? First Eric now Pam

Damon: I have a thing for Blonde's ...

Elena: *Wearing blond wig* Oh Damon *smiles*

Damon:*Shakes head* with blue eyes...

Elena: Damn *Katherine sets Elena's wig on fire* AHHHHHHHHHHH

Rogue: Hold up People - I will be back - need to get ready for work - will post more when I get to the office. *Rogue makes out with Pam before leaving in a red mist*

Stefan: Damon you didn't even twitch when she kissed Pam.

Damon: Mind your own business furry eyebrows.

So you're with Pam now. What a whore.

Damon: Like you should talk Chi-chan.

*Twitch* You got a problem.

Damon: Bring it.

*Gets into a fighting stance* Don't cry when I'm done kickin your ass.

Tara: What's wrong with these two? Chi never fights back.

Stefan: Don't know why but I like it.

Pam: Me too. *Eating popcorn*

Tara: You're not going to help him?

Pam: He'll call me.

Let's go Damon!

Sebastian: Sorry to interrupt but Bonnie and Elena both have heads popping out of them and I need help.

Yay!

Damon: To get worked up for nothing.

Rogue: So much drama. *Yawn*  
Just got into this stupid office God I hate work - Damon where's my 50 Mill? God help me if you say it's coming I will lock you in a room with Stefan, Lestat and Eric!

Lestat: No - I am not letting him and Eric anywhere near me and Stefan's ass!

Eric: I'll have Stefan's ass just to annoy you

Lestat: I thought we were friends Eric.

Eric: I lied! *Eric grabs Stefan and kisses him*

Stefan: *Throws up*

Lestat: *Twitch* You're a dead man. Get off him! *Lestat and Eric start fighting*

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and Lestat and Eric Vanish*

Where'd they go?

Rogue: Cullen Mansion - if they're going to destroy someone's place might as well be those rich sparkly bastards.

Alice: Hey-

Rogue: Zip it. Katherine how was your session with Doc Phil, Doc Drew and their minions?

Katherine: I hate you. I hate you lots.

Rogue: *Laughs* Now Fagward and Bellaslut – It's your turn. *Rogue pounces on Bella hoe breaking her nose*

Bella: OW! Edward save me!

Rogue: Not happening - my friend Beatrix is keeping him occupied.

Beatrix: *Beatrix presses button and lowers Eddie into crocodile tank*

Edward: Bella I LOVE you! Not!

Beatrix: We don't fucking care! *Beatrix drops Eddie into the Croc tank and the water gets glittery*

Bella: O_O Will no one save me?

Everyone: Hell to the mother fucking NO

Katherine: Rip her head of!

Bonnie: Make Elena eat it!

Elena: Bonnie?

Bonnie: Don't talk to me bitch and give me my baby back! On second thought - I'll have him after you give birth; I hope his head is as big as his father's ego! OW…

Damon: What happened?

Bonnie: Apparently I'm not allowed to insult you - they *points to stomach* don't like it.

Pam: Oh well - so Damon what you doing tonight?

Damon: Hanging at the Salvatore crib while my retarded brother sucks tonsils with Elena.

Pam: Why don't you come down to the Fangtasia dungeon and we can suck fang...

Eric: Just bring your delicious brother *Eric winks at Stefan*

You're back - where's Lestat? Who won?

Eric: Well I'm back Sherlock - guess who won.

What? *Growls*

Eric: *Pets me on the head* You're too cute to be scary.

Aw.

Rogue: * Smashing Bella's head into the carpet with a mallet* Don't worry Charity I'll replace your rug. *Rogue shoves a bomb up Bella ass and KABOOM!*

AHHHHHHHHH My beautiful room - Wait no blood on walls - the bomb went off right?

Rogue: It did - but I sent her to hell the instant that bomb went off - my hounds need human flesh in hell - Dean remembers them.

Dean: *Rocking back and forth on the floor* Leave me alone *sniff* you killed Sam and made him sparkle *sniff* and you made Cas have a baby with Katherine* WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Rogue: Hey Charity - we haven't had fun in a while... *Rogue throws Charity over shoulder* Bye, bye we're going to go make that backroom quake.

Sebastian: Looks as if she doesn't need me. *Shrugs* Push Bonnie. Push Elena.

Mason: They have big heads.

Sebastian: I wonder why? *Looks at Damon*

Damon: Shut up!

Mrsdamondarcolion-opotter: Please, please, please I need Delena im a big Delena fan please hear my plea and make it Delena.

Um…It's more of a Damon/ who ever he screws.

Damon: I'm not bounded to anyone.

Pam: Knew it before getting there.

Mrsdamon: I HATE BAMON! I LOVE DELENA! SEEING ANYTHING BAMON MAKES MY BLOOD BOIL! I WOULD HAVE KILLED BONNIE THE BITCH IF SHE WAS REAL!

Bonnie: …Nice huh?

Elena: About time I get some support!

Keep pushing you two!

Bonnie & Elena: GET THEM OUT OF ME!

FutureActress: Damon forever yours!

Stefan: Stop feeding his ego.

FutureActress: *still too busy distracted by Damon and then steals his leather jacket again*

Damon: Hey!

FutureActress: It makes me feel badass. I think I'll make Eric my bitch.

Eric: Like you can.

FutureActress: *walks over and soccerpunches him in the face, sending him flying a long distance*

Everyone: O. o

FutureActress: What?

Barney: Does somebody need a hug?

FutureActress: Don't touch me! *disappears out of nowhere*

Alice: Where is she?...

FutureActress: Sometimes a girl just wants to have fun! *disco ball comes down and lights shut off*

Eric: *smashes disco ball into pieces*

FutureActress: What the hell do you think you're doing!

Bella: I can't see.

Bonnie: Why are the lights not coming back on?

FutureActress: You! You! Are going to regret that! No reason to stop partying though. *drags Damon to backroom*

6 hours later- electricity working again.

Gir: DOOM! DOOM! DOOM!

FutureActress: *relaxes on the couch* I'm done for the day.

Elena: I'm not happy!

Bonnie: No one cares.

Mrsdamon: Watch your back Bonnie!

Bonnie: …

BroadwayAngelLyric: Sup peeps and freakazoids, I have to make it quick today. Damon, I believe you when you say that your thing with Eric was a one time thing, just don't scare me like that again.

Damon: Will never happen again.

Eric: Says you.

Damon: *Shivers*

Stefan: Just keep him away from me.

Broadway: That Halloween was quite weird don't you think? Chi, I just discovered a love for Percy Jackson and The Olympians and the Hunger Games, if you can you should read those series'.

Okay.

Broadway: GIR HII LET'S DO THE WAFFLE DANCE!

Gir: Yay! *Starts Dancing*

Broadway: *Laughs* Jack, I watched Pirates Of The Caribbean the other day, as always it was awesome, here's some rum my intoxicated friend.

Jack: You are a god!

Ron: Pass some over here will yeah!

Bonnie: Pass some here too!

Damon: You can't drink Bonnie.

Bonnie: Yes…the fuck…I can!

Broadway: …Anyways. Well, Katherine for your makeover maybe you should get highlights or dye your hair pitch black so you don't look like the whore Elena too much.

Elena: I'm not a whore!

Alice: …

Elena: Stay out of it.

Broadway: Stefan, are you using vampire steriods because your muscles are huge.

Stefan: I've been running a lot.

Damon: First Lestat, now Eric. Never knew you were gay.

Stefan: Like you should be talking.

Broadway: Come on guys!

Damon: Me. You. Outside.

Bonnie: SHUT UP *Demon voice* OR I'LL DESTORY YOU!

Caroline: Someone's a little cranky.

Bonnie: *Twitch*

Broadway: Just saying. Zero, here's a bomb, go nuts! Elena go die in a ditch. I am now going to make your childbirth very painful.

Elena: It's already…painful!

Broadway: Bonnie, I agree with Rogue, you are not good enough for Damon.

Bonnie: This isn't a time to care about other peoples opinions! This baby has a big head!

Broadway: Eric how did it feel to be raped by Damon? BILL GET BACK IN THE CONCRETE AND TAKE BELLA TOO! Sam, die. L8R Bye!

Eric: It was run while it lasted.

Damon: Stay away from me and my brother. I don't want him to get infected.

Bill: Why I never!

Sam: Why do I have to die?

Broadway: Because you suck.

Sam: ….

Broadway: One more thing, here's a little segment I call "What the hell happened to you?". This is where we spotlight the whereabouts of the rarely seen cast members.

*Louis: Nursing a broken heart in Transylvania since Lestat left

Wolverine: Became a stripper in Rio after Rogue and Pam got new friends

Bob's Dad: He is now playing the role of Edward's dick*

Bob: Don't insult my dad! He isn't that small!

Edward: Shut up bastard!

Broadway: Am I missing anyone? BTW Edward, Bill, and Bella look up. *huge bucket of silver falls on Bill, Bella gets knocked in the head with a club, and Edward gets showered with razors to shave his sparkles* Bob, here's Sam's soul. Byeeeeee!

Bob: Yay!

How do soul's taste?

Bob: They are important for a body to function right.

…

Mrsdamon: i love i love i love it this fic is amazing and brilliant! i have a request please please plzzzzzzzzzzzz put in Thundercats! That would be great i know u like animation and so do i and Thundercats happen to be my favorite cartoons so please consider this and add them in Thundercats im dying to see Damon up against Lion-O!

Damon: Trying to get me killed.

Mrsdamon: No it's just fun to see how you do in these shows.

Damon: Oh.

Well it's time to go everyone. Bonnie and Elena are giving birth and it's going to take some time. I want to thank Crowley's Bitch 13, BeatrixMayfeir, LoveHurts1996, MinaFTW, FutureActressKS, Breakfastclub85, Katherine's Bitch, tootoughtummy, Rogue Assasin, Mrsdamondarcolion-opotter, and BroadwayAngelLyric for the reviews.

Hope you enjoy and thanks for reading. Peace!

Alice: Love.

Bonnie & Elena: *Screams*

…Bye guys.

Katherine: Wait a minute.

What?

Katherine: Katherine's bitch I dare you to write a poem about Damon. Make it as mean and nasty as you can.

…Why?

Damon: Why me?

Katherine: *Shrugs* Because I'm a bitch*Sticks tongue out*

O.O

Damon: Okay?

Bye!


	70. Happy 1k review

Shows they can't do together!

1k review party!

*Jumps up and down* THANK YOU GUYS!

Damon: Are you for real?

Yes!

Damon: This 'so stupid that it's funny' story made it to 1000 reviews?

Yes!

Stefan: I don't see why you're surprised. This story is for fans and that's why people read this…

Damon: Crap.

…It's random! People like random things.

Damon: You know what. I liked it better when it was just the three of us….

Lestat: Here we go again. *Rolls eyes*

Damon: Before you brought those fairy bastard! *Points at Sam and Dean*

Dean: What we do this time?

Damon: *Darkly* Bring me pain and suffering.

Sam: What that's supposed to mean?

Damon: Please…die.

Bonnie: *twitch*

Caroline: …

Tara: What's with the balloons?

Gir & Me: Yay! Balloons!

Damon: *Slaps forehead*

FutureActressKS: Eric this *refers to team Eric cheerleader outfit* is very ridiculous!

Eric: You love it.

FutureActress: Damon! Save me!

Damon: Save me from this. *Points at the person on his back*

Umm…how long has he been there?

Damon: Who the fuck is it?

Black Star: YAHOO!

Damon: …Fuck.

FutureActress: I'm not interested Eric!

Eric: Don't believe you.

FutureActress: Damon, what do you suggest I do to him because I won't hesitate to do it?

Eric: You're still next in making you mine. *Smirks*

FutureActress: *flips him off*

Damon: GET THE FUCK OFF ME NARUTO WANNABE!

Black Star: KISS MY GODLY ASS!

Sebastian: Were still trying to deliver the babies here.

I'll help Sebby!

Lestat: I'll help too. *Glares at Sebastian*

Sebastian: Alright then.

FutureActress: Eric. What can I do to prove that "we" won't happen?

Eric: Nothing.

FutureActress: *Groans* Edward YOU!

Edward: What! I didn't do anything.

FutureActress: Yeah you did. You just won't go away.

Edward: You love me.

FutureActress: Yeah sure.

Damon: Back off of my fangirl

Dr Phil: I'm sure if we all talk this out politely...

FutureActress: I love Damon!

Eric: Not for long.

Caroline: Is it always this crazy here?

*nods*

FutureActress: Eric I don't think I'm the one that wants you. You want me and Damon...as twisted as that sounds.

Eric: I'm after Stefan now.

Damon: *Wipes sweat off his forehead* What a relief.

Stefan: *Groans* Another one?

Lestat: Stay away from him!

Eric: Maybe I should go after Chi then.

Why me!

Eric: *Licks lips* Its fun.

Lestat: Stay away from Chi, Stefan, and my pet pink flamingo!

Tyler: There a flamingo?

Sookie: This is news to me.

*Nods*

Crowley's Bitch 13: Hey Guys! Happy 70th chapter yeah!

Thanks! Hopefully we'll make it to 100 soon.

Crowley's Bitch: I just had candy so I'm really hyper!*starts hoping up and down*

Alice: I can't wait for All Hallows Eve!

Ichigo: Wait! There's Hollows!

Alice: …You're on the wrong show.

Ichigo: This isn't Bleach?

Katherine: *Grabs Ichigo* How old are you?

Ichigo: 15.

Katherine: *Evil smirk*

Alice: *Slaps Katherine in the back of the head* He's jailbait.

Katherine: Hey! Fuck age.

Crowley's Bitch: …Just let him go and let me finish.

Katherine: NEVER!

It seems that Katherine is making a young boy collection.

Jacob & Seth: *Takes steps back*

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley and Damon so wanna share me in the backroom?

Crowley: *Turns to Damon* I promise to be rough with you too.

Damon: No thanks bastard.

Crowley's Bitch: Damon *starts making out* damn your a good kisser!

Caroline: Fangirls on here are truly friendly here.

Yep.

Crowley's Bitch: Dean I'll be nice to you now because I loved ya last episode!

Dean: Okay.

Crowley's Bitch: Sam *hands teddy bear* I'm sorry I won't hurt you again.

Sam: Thanks.

Crowley's Bitch: Castiel any requests besides hurting Sam?

Castiel: That was my favorite.

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley any requests master?

Crowley: Give me more people o make deals with.

Crowley's Bitch: Damon do you have any requests?

Damon: Kill Black Star!

Black Star: I'M GOD NO ONE CAN KILL ME!

Damon: He's more annoying than Naruto.

Ichigo: Please stop touching me there.

Katherine: I like what I see. Obey your master!

Crowley's Bitch: Edward truces over! *chops of head* Die sparkly bitch!

Bella: Haha! Oh well.

Alice: What happened to the stupid and innocent Bella?

Bella: She left the building.

Crowley's Bitch: Elena and Bonnie I love ya guys you're awesome!

Elena: SAVE US FROM THIS PAIN!

Bonnie: BRING CHOCOLATE!

Crowley's Bitch: Jack*hands booze* go wild.

Jack: Thanks love!

Crowley's Bitch: Chi still waiting for that story! U never friended me on face book :(.

Sorry I'll get to it when I post this story. *Smiles*

Crowley's Bitch: *Glares at me*

Okay.

Crowley's Bitch: Bye everyone!

Black Star: BYE!

Damon: *Twitch* Do you have to YELL ALL THE GOT DAMN TIMES!

Black Star: Yes.

Damon: ….

Katherine's Bitch: ...Okay? *sighs* I will right the poem then. But at the end of my review.

Katherine: Yay.

Ichigo: Can someone save me from this…this woman!

Damon: You're on your own.

Ichigo: Damn.

Katherine: It better be good.

Katherine's Bitch: It's as good as it can be.

Katherine: As long as I can read it.

Katherine's Bitch: Alright. *looks at Seth and Jeremy* Why must you make me choose? That is cruel!

Seth & Jeremy: Because we want to know!

Katherine's Bitch: Ummmmmm...I like Jeremy the best...*grins* Hehe.

Seth: Aw.

Katherine's Bitch: Chi, Can you would you read my story Vampire diaries and supernatural Random shit?

Sure.

Katherine's Bitch: Gir, Elena said that she is going to eat all your cupcakes and throw away your waffles! She's evil *nods*

Gir: *Eyes turn red* Elena!

Elena: …

Katherine's Bitch: Gir, Gimme hug pwease!

Gir: I'm watching you Elena.

Elena: I can't move!

Gir: *Hugs Katherine's Bitch*

Katherine's Bitch: Yay. *Then glares at Elena* Elena, YOU ARE TWO A WHORE YOU UGLY SHE BEAST MAN! ! That's all for now about you.

Caroline: Do I have haters like that?

*Shrugs*

Caroline: It's kinda like a guessing game, huh?

Yup.

Katherine's Bitch: Stefan, You like Tara? O.o I did not see that coming.

Stefan: *Blush*

Lestat: He loves me!

Tara: *Twitch* I'm about to kick your ass.

O.O!

Lestat: Bring it.

…Um…

Sookie: She'll be fine. I'm not going to let anything happen to her.

Katherine's Bitch: Okay? *pops neck* EDDIE, EDDIE rime for you to die *maniacal laugh*

Edward: Shit.

Katherine's Bitch: *rips Edward to pieces with teeth. *rips his heart out and stuffs it down Bonnie's throat*

Ew.

Alice: Yeah.

Elena: Bout damn time!

Katherine's Bitch: Sorry Bonnie, don't really like you.

Bonnie: *Chocks on the heart*

Caroline: *Twitch* So cruel.

Katherine: Give it to that bitch!

Katherine's Bitch: Okay now on to the poem...Damn it im not good with poems

Damon we already know you go both ways

Wait not both ways there's only one way

Your not straight, or, bi, we all know your gay.

So go ahead and fuck Eric Im sure you'll love it that day

But even Eric has better taste than that

Go fuck the cat that Stefan already killed

Stefan's the better brother in all the ways

maybe one day a girl will actually want to have sex with you

Or even love you for real

But that will never happen

Because really who would want someone like you?

You not even close to being cruel

So stop being fake

And be that big baby ass gay

you know that's who you really are

Everyone does

Why do you think Katherine or Elena never loved you

Why do you think they always chose Stefan

They saw through you

They knew the truth as does everyone else

Shit Gir loves to hug everyone but he probably wouldn't even touch you

Bonnie well she's stupid so of course she's gonna think she likes you

She's better off with Adrian or whatever his name was

Why didn't you and your fairy boyfriend Gayward go die in a whole

Or go live with all the fairies

Because don't nobody here like your gay ugly stupid ass!

.

.

.

.

.

.

Like I said the poems probably shit because I can't write poems.

Katherine: I loved it.

Damon: *Twitch* YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH ME!

That's kind of obvious.

Damon: Shut up. *Twitch*

FutureActress: Eric here's a gift. *leans in for a kiss and then throws a big bucket of purple slushies all over him*

Eric: *Licks the side of his hand*

I never thought I wanted to be a slushie.

Alice: *Nods*

Eric: Cute. Very annoying but cute.

FutureActress: Damon: *hands him a teddy bear* Squeeze it.

Damon: *squeezes it*

Bear: I love you Damon!

Eric: What does he have that I don't?

FutureActress: *busy hugging Damon*

Eric: Don't fight it sweetheart.

FutureActress: *still swooning over Damon*

Eric: You're my bitch *snatches Future away from Damon and drags her to backroom*

Damon: HEY!

Caroline: Why does that bother you?

Damon: *twitch*

Elena: Delena!

Elena haters: *throw tomatoes at her*

3 hours later

Eric: *walks out*

Damon: where is she?

FutureActress: I can't get up!

Damon: You'll pay for that.

Eric: Jealous?

Damon: Me?

Elena: I bet you still have that teddy bear she gave to you and that stupid cat woman costume she threw at you.

Gir: waffle?

It's getting hot in here!

Caroline: popcorn?

Sure *shares popcorn*

FutureActress: Eric: I will get revenge! Not just because of what happened but because you destroyed my disco ball.

Eric: Right.

FutureActress: Lestat leave Stefan alone! Him and Tara are adorable together.

Lestat: NEVER!

Tara: Hey Ichigo, can that sword cut through a vampire?

Ichigo: Yeah.

FutureActress: Damon call me a romantic, but I'd never turn against you.

Pam: Paws off!

Black Star: You guys are weird. I'm going to mess with the people in General Hospital.

Stay away from that show.

Black Star: Why?

Sebastian! I command you to get him out of here!

Sebastian: *Gets on one knee* Yes my Lord. *Goes after Black Star*

Why can't all guy be like that?

Damon: Why do I think that comment was directed at me?

Bite me jerk.

Damon: Very tempted bitch.

BITCH!

Mason: What's going on?

Alice: Though you were dead.

Mason: …Let me have my moment.

FutureActress: Pam the heart wants what the heart wants.

Cut it out! If you guys make a mess, you don't want to piss me off.

Pam: *Flicks off FutureActress* I wanna keep my tongue in my mouth thank you.

*Places hands on hips* Also, it'd be nice to keep my fans alive. Thank you.

Pam; If it wasn't you I would tear you limb from limb. But knowing you, you'll probably enjoy that.

*Smirks* You know me too well.

FutureActress: Jack mind if I have a sip of your booze.

Jack: *Hands over the bottle*

You look like you're in pain.

Jack: I'm being…nice.

Bonnie: It'd be a lot easier if you let go of Damon.

FutureActress: *trembling lip*

Damon: Please don't cry.

FutureActress: *moves to hide in corner*

Bonnie: He isn't worth your tears, hon.

Katherine: Get up! *forces Future back up on feet*

Mason: Future, why not come over here?

Damon: *growls*

FutureActress: Gonna go sleep on the heart shaped bed in the backroom.

Eric: Is that an invitation?

FutureActress: NO! I will be back though!

MinaFTW: You guys okay?

Damon: Some what? So what you're here to vent about?

Mina: To Mrsdamondarcolion-opotter listen you DE fan girl, no one and I mean no one lays a hand on Bonnie.

Riley: Are you going to let her diss you like that?

*Hits Riley in the head* No instigating!

Riley: Aw.

Mina: Bonnie don't worry I'll flame thrower these bitches before they even THINK of trying anything. Team Bamon FTW.

Elena: No Damon belongs with...

Mina: Not you! Never you, I rather have Damon turn gay than be with you! Please just go and die because no one here likes you. *holds up a flame thrower to everyone*

Everyone: nervously* right!

Mina: Good puppies, now stay the fuck away from Bonnie!

Bonnie: Help!

Mina: *Uses magical Kagome-like powers so that the babies come easily for Bonnie and the babies make there way out, it's a boy and a girl and a boy!* Hurray!

Elena: A little help...

Mina: NO! I hate you

That is cruel even for you

Mina: Don't care...okay maybe...nah still hate her. Rogue, Really? Bonnie doesn't deserve Damon? They are even more connected if you ask me, Damon and Bonnie teaming up to defeat Mason can only mean one thing, super Bamon time!

Katherine: Good for them. I hope they all die.

Mina: Shut it Katherine. Besides Bonnie is emotional like Damon she gets angry, but that's why I love them, they are like an old married couple who belong together, Elena on the other hand is boring as hell, I would rather have Katherine and Damon.

Bonnie: Thanks. *Sighs*

Mina: Chi good job on this fic! *hugs and hands you cupcakes*

Thanks!

FutureActress: I'm back!

Katherine: Again?

Edward: You know you can't resist all this!

FutureActress: Edward you're right.

Damon: You can't be serious.

Caroline: This is so much better than my soap operas!

FutureActress: Edward I've seen the light that I can't live without you!

…

Edward: I'm the best guy here. I mean still don't see why they hate me.

FutureActress: Edward I...*giggles* can't believe you fell for that! *kicks him in the face* Why would I want your glitter all over me? Real men don't sparkle.

…Now everything is right with the world.

Eric: You want me.

FutureActress: Eric you raped me.

Eric: It's not considered rape when you did it willingly. You've been coming around more often...because I am going to make you my bitch.

FutureActress: Dream on Eric!

Gir: Waffle party! Waffle party! Waffle party *hugs Eric in an iron clutch hold*

FutureActress: Gir I don't know what I would do without you.

Eric: So you like it rough.

FutureActress: Eric don't even think about popping up anywhere near my house. It's bad enough with that creep Bob appearing everywhere like an annoying little pest!

Eric: Thanks for the head up.

FutureActress: Zero *steals his guns* that is for what you did to Damon two chapters ago.

Zero: *Shrugs* I have more.

FutureActress: I'll deal with that later.

Jacob: What you really need is a real man like me.

FutureActress: *blush*

Damon: Take off that team Eric outfit.

FutureActress: But I don't have any other clothes. Besides my team Damon outfit, my clothes have suddenly gone missing.

Damon: *tosses the cat woman suit at her*

FutureActress: *throws it on* Not exactly comfortable but better. I'm gonna sit here a while. *hugs Gir*

…

Damon: What?

Nothing?

Damon: *Sighs* What's up or I'll force it out of you.

…Nothing.

Damon: Fine. *Pulls out Rope*

WHERE YOU GET THAT FROM!

Damon: From the air where else.

Okay, okay! I'll tell you!

Damon: Then what?

I think someone else is here.

Damon: Hope its Jason.

…I hate you.

Damon: Never cared besides, the only person I will let hurt you is me.

*Twitch* You're so caring.

Damon: I know…it makes me sick.

Hannah: Hey Tyler! Let's make out!

Tyler: Sure. It's nothing else to do here.

Dean: *Twitch*

Hannah: Chi I was thinking, that if someone on here got an STD, we'd all be screwed.

That's true. So true.

Alice: Don't curse us.

Hannah: Too late.

I don't think pregnancy is a STD.

Hannah: I wasn't thinking that.

Oh. Um…okay!

Hannah: *Laughs* Hey Puppy!

Sam: *Twitch*

Hannah: Did you know that people call you & Dean hooking up, Wincest?

Dean: I think I seen some, there were kinda weird.

Damon: Not that far from the truth though huh?

Dean: Same with you.

Damon: *Twitch*

Hannah: Cas do you want me to be your fangirl or something? Cause your comment about how it 'took me long enough to realize that you're hot', makes me wonder.

Castiel: I will not comment.

Hannah: You can't do that.

Castiel: Maybe.

Hannah: Mason, you're kind of hot. Can I see your abs?

Castiel: DON'T INGORE ME!

Mason: Sure. *Takes off shirt*

Yay. Keep the shirt off.

Alice: He's dead.

Tara: You are too.

Alice: Point taken but…

Mason: Stop ruining my moment.

Hannah: Katherine you are such a whore.

Katherine: And proud of it. Next question.

Ichigo: WILL SOMEONE FREE ME!

Damon: Get over it kid. It'll be less painful.

Hannah: Edward you will never rape me. Dean will take care of you, won't you Dean?

Dean: Poum, poum, everybody goin down.

Sam: You showed him Kevin Hart didn't you.

*Nods*

Sam: I thought it said everybody gonna die.

*Shrugs*

Hannah: Cas I don't have any ideas besides for you to run around naked screaming "I have squirrel AIDS!"

Castiel: Dare God NO!

Hannah: Then don't be fussing. Just do what I say!

Castiel: F-fine.

He like's abuse huh?

Katherine: Yep.

Hannah: Dean I love you.

Dean: Stay away from Tyler.

Tyler: What did I do?

Dean: I'm watching you.

Hannah: Well bye guys!

Elena: Does not one care about me?

I do.

Katherine: No you don't.

…Parentally I don't.

Rogue Assasin: Caroline! I like you! *Rogue grabs Caroline and makes out with her*

Caroline: *Blush*

Rogue: Pam honey we have a new playmate!

Pam: Good.

Rogue: Caro you should so totally fuck Stefan - he needs a life I think you can help him find one - Elena is just boring - watching Elena is like watching paint dry *Rogue drop kicks Elena's head*.

Elena: HEY!

Rogue: *Ignores Elena* Well that was a waste of a FGW - I am waiting to fight you Kat and you Fagward but most importantly I want to get my hands on that scrawny human bitch Bella!

Bella: *Sneaking towards the door*

Rogue: Where the fuck do you think you're going?

Bella: *nervous laugh* the ladies

Rogue: You aren't going anywhere - you need to take a piss do it in Eddie's mouth, you wanna take a poo do it in Bill's mouth!

Bill: Ewwww!

Yeah. Ew.

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and Bill is now wearing a pink tutu* Now listen here you faggot you're going to perform swan lake and dance around us right until the end of the show, you will wear that pink tutu and dance until Charity says her bye byes.

Bill: …Yes.

Poor guy.

Damon: He should have put up a bigger fight.

Rogue: Sorry Mrsdamon there is no Delena - I will turn Elena into a man named Steve - Delena sucks stop trying to hook Damon up with brain dead hooker girl.

Elena: What did you call me!

Rogue: I bet your Daddy doesn't know he's retarded daughter sold her ass on the streets since she was 12.

Bonnie and Caroline: We knew it!

Stefan: You are low...

Damon: You tapped her

Stefan: You did too!

Rogue: *Rogue throws a truck tire at Stefan* Damon was drunk and he didn't know it was that whore! And Bella stop looking at Damon like he's food.

Bella: He looks good!

Rogue: Charity do you watch Bollywood movies? There's one really cool one coming out soon called Hiss - I think you'd like it - it's based on the legend of the Nagin - wikipedia it.

Awesome! Yay for movies!

Gir: Yay!

Rogue: Hey why is it that Damon, Katherine and Crowley get bitches? I want a bitch too! Chi be my bitch.

O.o Huh?

Rogue: *Rogue smiles wickedly then grabs Chi and drags her to the back room*

Eric: She brings a tear to my eye - that's my girl.

Pam: My girl *Pam purrs* I think I'll join them in the back, coming Damon?

Damon: Anyone have a rubber? *Seth and Jacob toss Damon two boxes*

Stefan: Since when are you using protection?

Damon: Pam doesn't really want to be a momma

Bonnie: Oh so you care about Pam not what kids but go ahead and knock me up.

Damon: Blame the fangirls.

*32 hours later and Charity crawls out*

Water I need water... and food!

Sookie: You poor thing! *Sookie gives Charity a glass of water and Tara brings her muffins and hot chocolate*

*Rogue skips out wearing a Team Pam Bikini, Damon is wearing a team Pam thong*

OMG I see his ass! *MinaFTW, Broadway, Beatrix and Future Actress faint*

Rogue: Hi Sebastian. Bye Sebastian *Rogue shoots Sebastian with a love arrow - Sebastian sees one of Stefan's bunny's and chases it into a bush*

O.O! SEBASTIAN!

Rogue: *Laughs* Well I am tired - so going to bed now - not in the mood for torture - had a tough day - I hate my boss - I am going to kill him I am going to get a poisonous snake and let it do the job.

Damon: Get the black mamba!

Vie: Hi everyone!

Hi! Welcome back!

Vie: The babies are arriving, yay! And what's with this I hate Bonnie crap that I'm reading, seeing and hell hearing! Yep, you suckas will kick her when she is down but when she delivers these big headed ass babies; she will be definitely back on top. TEAM BONNIE!

Damon: Big head!

Bonnie: *Smiles* Thanks.

Vie: Tara and Chi, what's up my sistahs!

Nothing much!

Tara: Trying to keep a fucking vamp away from my man. *Growls*

Lestat: Feisty.

Stefan: Don't even try.

Vie: Hey Tyler! **kisses Tyler and blushes**

Tyler: Bout time for some action!

Vie: Hey Sam! **Tongue kisses Sam and blushes**

Sam: *Blush* I happy I'm not getting hurt.

Vie: Hey Dean! **Takes Dean into the back room for two hours, comes back out panting , sweating and blushing**

Dean: *Pants* I…love…being me.

Damon: I want a turn.

Riley: Stop be a hater.

Vie: Hey Stefan! **Gives Stefan and Fox slurpee** I want you wonderful writers to do a fanfic with Stefan and Tara. You two are the cutest EVER!

That sounds like fun to do. What you guys think?

Damon: Boo.

Lestat: Yeah. Boo.

Tara: I'm gonna….*Me and Sookie hold her back* LET ME GO!

Vie: … Damon, my boo, my honey bun, my papi...continue to be SEXY as HELL! Absolutely Love You...Who Loves You Baby?

Damon: Everyone loves me.

Bonnie: Pfft.

Elena: I love you.

Katherine: I just wanted sex.

…

Damon: Haha.

Vie: Jack! **gives Jack a life supply of RUM** Me love you long time, Jack!

Jack: Me love you…whatever you said I don't remember.

Vie: I'm outie! Don't do anything I won't do. Alice, I never say anything to you don't I? Well, I like ya…continue to do you boo!

Alice: Thanks!

Vie: *Smiles* BTW, Congrats on reaching 1000 plus, Chi. **hands Chi a Bath and Body Works Basket filled with all of her favorite goodies...ENJOY!**

Yay!

Pam: *throws a squid at future*

FutureActress: What the hell was that Pam?

Pam: Hands off Damon!

FutureActress: You can't stop me.

Bonnie: I can. *lights flicker*

FutureActress: I LOVE YOU ERIC! *Nervous laugh*

Damon: What did you do to her?

Bonnie: *Shrugs*

FutureActress: I-

Damon: Love me.

FutureActress: I already knew you love yourself *rolls eyes*

Damon: You love me!

Elena: You don't need any of them Damon.

Damon: *to Eric* She's mine.

Eric: Don't worry, someday you'll come crawling back to me.

FutureActress: *stabs Eric with a stake* Bastard!

Katherine: take him down!

Um...back to the show! *hears a big crash*

FutureActress: uh...Chi?

*Demon voice* WHO TRASHED THE ROOM!

FutureActress: Ah! I swear I didn't do it. *hugs Damon*

Gir: I WANT WAFFLES. *rips Eric's head off*

Pam: *glares at Future*

Caroline: That's what you get for being a man whore, Damon. Before you know it, you might have a fangirl baby mama.

FutureActress: Damon is so hot!

Bonnie: Oh please!

FutureActress: Team Damon, forever and ever!

Bonnie: *Groans*

Bill: Do I have to keep doing this? *Spins around*

Rogue: Yes!

Bill: Fine.

LoveHurts1996: Hey what's up guys?

Nothing much

LoveHurts: Damon, shouldn't you be with Bonnie and Elena they're delivering your kids

Damon: I should be. But I'm not going anywhere.

LoveHurts: why not?

Damon: They're both in labor and both of them want me that never turns out well.

LoveHurts: Alright your choice

Edward:*Sees LoveHurts and runs to a corner to hide*

LoveHurts: *Walks over to Edwards corner* Oh... Eddie are you scared of me?

Edward: Yes

LoveHurts: Oh, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings want a cupcake?*hands cupcake*

Edward: *takes it* Ummm... Thanks

LoveHurts: *takes remote out of pocket and presses giant red button*

Edward: *is blown into a million pieces*

Everyone: Nice shot!

LoveHurts: thank you!

But that was a waste of cupcakes

LoveHurts: Oh don't worry I have cupcakes for everyone don't worry I didn't poison these ones I only poisoned Edwards and Lestat's.

Lestat:* falls to the floor grasping his throat*

Finally. Hey where's my cupcake?

Tara: I wanted to stab him many times.

LoveHurts: Oh I didn't bring you a cupcake I brought you a chocolate cake.

*Takes it* Thanks!

LoveHurts: Hey you deserve it

Alice: Is there anyone else you have to take down today?

LoveHurts: Well... Not unless Dr. Phil is back

Stefan: By the way thanks for poisoning Lestat just now

LoveHurts: Anytime Stefan *gives huge bunny*

Stefan: Thanks

LoveHurts: So Bonnie, Elena how's life?

Bonnie & Elena: Horrible! Damon knocked us up and now he doesn't give a shit!

LoveHurts: Aww I'm sorry. Would cupcakes help.

Bonnie & Elena: Hell yes!

LoveHurts:*Gives cupcakes to everyone*

Katherine: Hello bitch

LoveHurts: Oh hello Katherine

Katherine: What no comeback?

LoveHurts: Look I need your help actually you and Alice will work hand in hand okay?

Katherine: Depends. What's in it for me?

LoveHurts: Beating fagward to a pulp.

Katherine: Deal.

LoveHurts: Okay so I found out that I am going on vacation for two weeks in December and I need you and Alice to bomb Edward twice daily can you do that?

Katherine: Fine.

Alice: Anything for you.

LoveHurts: Thanks so much!

Alice: Anytime!

LoveHurts: This goes for everyone! If there is anyone on your kill list you would like me to take care of please let me know. I'm happy to do it.

Bonnie & Elena: Kill Damon!

LoveHurts: Yeah, I'd rather not.

Bonnie: Do it NOW!

LoveHurts:*whispers* Irritable

Bonnie: WHAT?

LoveHurts: Nothing.

Bonnie: Better be.

LoveHurts: I'd better go. Congrats on your thousandth reviewer Chi talk to y'all later

Thanks bye!

Damon: Farewell love.

Bonnie: Be careful or you'll be next.

LoveHurts:*blushes* Bye Damon

Alice: I'll see you soon.

Wow. Damon please tell me you're not going to impregnate all the fangirls here.

Damon: Maybe. Got a problem?

Nope.

Damon: Good.

RoseJean Sterling Salavtore: Hey!

Damon: Yo.

RoseJean Sterling Salavtore: Quick question! Adrian what book/movie/show are you from? And Pam can you come over tonight?

Pam: Just tell me were to meet you at.

Damon: Where is lover boy anyway?

Bonnie: Rogue killed him…again.

Where is he come from?

Bonnie: He's from Vampire Academy

Well okay!

FutureActress: Damon just saw the latest TVD episode, and I swear I love you even more!

Damon: Of course. I'm loveable.

*Crying babies*

Well their alive.

Damon: Good.

Elena: Too…much. I'm tired.

Bonnie: Me too.

Eric: When are you guys going to realize that both of you love me?

Edward: She loves me! *grabs Future and kisses her*

*music comes on: DUN, dun, dun...*

FutureActress: *slaps Edward*

Edward: we could totally be the power couple.

FutureActress: Just stop! Touch me again and you'll regret it. Bella, you can do some of my dirty work for me.

Jacob: *shirtless* I love you.

FutureActress: *blushing*

Damon: watch the hands wolf boy!

FutureActress: *moves away from Jacob* you're using me to get more lines. Clever, but I love someone else.

Eric: Me.

Gir: WAFFLE!

O.o

FutureActress: I can't party right now G-

Gir: *hug*

FutureActress: Okay!

Gir: Yay!

Okay guys our show is over! I want to thank FutureActressKS, Crowley's Bitch 13, Katherine's Bitch, Mina FTW, Breakfastclub85, Rogue Assasin, Vie, LoveHurts1996, and RoseJean Sterling Salvatore for reviews. Thanks guys! You don't know how much I appreciate you guys. Thanks for reading! Peace!

Alice: Love.

And chocolate. See ya soon.

Bill: *Falls over* F…uck!

Damon: He should do that every chapter.

Bill: Oh no.

Damon: Oh yes.

Kool Aid: OH YEAH.

…YOU BASTARD YOU PUT A FUCKING HOLE IN MY WALL! *Demon voice* I'LL DESTORY YOU!

Riley: Aw shit.

DIE!

Kool Aid: OH NO! *Runs away*

GET BACK HERE! *Chases after him*

Alice: Bye guys.


	71. Happy Halloween!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Thunder Cats!

Damon: Great. We're doing this again.

Stefan: So it seems.

Lion-O: Who are you?

Damon: …Great, another freak.

Lion-O: *Shakes head* Are you friend or foe?

Damon: Bite… me… bastard.

Stefan: *slaps forehead and sighs*

Lion-O: Fine. *Lifts up sword* THUNDERCATS HO!

*Appears Cheetara, Panthro, Tygra, WilyKit, WilyKat, and Snarf*

Damon: *Low whistle* I like the blond.

Cheetara: *Rolls eyes*

Stefan: I'm leaving.

Damon: Afraid you get your ass kicked?

Stefan: *Tackles Damon*

Lion-O: *Watches the two brothers fight*

Cheetara: Doesn't look like we're needed.

Everyone: *Nods*

WilyKit: Let's poke them with sticks!

WilyKat: Let's pants them!

Tygra: Don't touch them, you don't know where they have been.

Damon: *Twitch* WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOST TO MEAN!

Stefan: He does have a point.

Damon: *Pushes Stefan off him and flips off Tygra*

Stefan & Lion-O: …

Cheetara: You stay away from him!

Damon: Pfft. What are you gonna do…*Gets kicked in the face*

Stefan: Saw that coming.

Damon: Shut UP!

Lion-O: Looks like our job it done Thundercats. Let's go….

Damon: You're not done. Bring it on you sons of Bitches!

Stefan: *Punches Damon in the head and drags him* Thanks for not killing my brother, we'll be on our way.

Thundercats: ….

* * *

He is so much better like that.

Stefan: I agree.

Lestat: *Nods*

Damon: Fuck all of you.

Lestat: You wish.

Damon: …*Looks around* Why is everyone dressed up like this?

Alice: We didn't get to watch glee so where doing something for our fans.

I've never seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Katherine: *Pats Ichigo's head* Don't care.

Sam: *Twitches* I'm Frank-N-Furter.

Edward: WHY DO I HAVE TO BE RIFF RAFF!

Alice: Because I said so. I'm Magenta!

Bonnie: I'm no one. Babies are hard to take care of.

Elena: Same here.

Bob: Yay!

Let's start this show. I'm the narrator!

Eric: Don't even try.

Pam: *Chuckles*

*Presses a button* Let's do this.

Edward: It's astounding

Time is fleeting

Madness takes it's toll…

Alice: Ahh…

Edward: But listen closely…

Alice: Not for very much longer…

Edward: I got to keep control.

I remember doing the time warp.

Drinking those moments when

The blackness would hit me.

Alice & Edward: And the void would be calling.

Everyone: Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

It's just a jump to the left.

Everyone: And then a step to the right.

With your hands on your hips.

Everyone: You bring your knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust.

They really drive you insane.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

Alice: It's so dreamy

Oh, fantasy free me

So you can't see me

No not at all.

In another dimension

With voyeuristic intention.

Well secluded I see all…

Edward: With a bit of a mind flip….

Alice: You're into the time slip….

Edward: And nothing can even be the same.

Alice: You're spaced out on sensation.

Edward: Like you're under sedation.

Everyone: Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again

Katherine: Well, I was walking down the street

Just having a think

When a snake of a guy

Gave me an evil wink.

Well it shook me up

It took me by surprise

He had a pick-up truck

And stared at me

And I felt a change

Time meant nothing

Never would again.

Ichigo: Please save me!

Everyone: Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

It's a jump to the left.

Everyone: And then a step to the right.

With you hands on your hips.

Everyone: You bring you knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust…

That really drives you insane

Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again

Katherine: Ah! Oh! Oh! Yeoooww…

Ahhhh! Did you get bite me?

Ichigo: No.

Everyone: Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

It's a jump to the left.

Everyone: And then a step to the right.

With you hands on your hips.

Everyone: You bring you knees in tight.

But it's the pelvic thrust…

That really drives you insane

Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

Let's do the Time Warp again!

Yay! Your not getting out of it Sam.

Sam: *Twitch* But…

Your song is later.

Sam: Fuck.

Well guys let's bring in the girls!

FutureActressKS: what's up?

Pam: *mumbles* Go away

FutureActress: Damon you look so hot! *Glares at Eric* I hate you.

Eric: *Shrugs*

FutureActress: Jack *hands him booze* A thank you for letting me have a sip yesterday. It is so crazy here.

Adrian: So true.

Bonnie: Your suppose to hide!

Damon: This will be good.

Edward: She loves me.

FutureActress: You could die for all I care *chops head off with an axe*

Please don't bloody up the carpet.

Lestat: *Hugs me* You're so cute when you're mad.

…

FutureActress: You owe me a new disco ball.

Eric: and what would I get out of it?

FutureActress: Nothing! Because there is no us! *rips off team Eric outfit to reveal a team Damon bikini*

Pam: *Tackles Future*

Hey! Damon stop them before they ruin my room!

Damon: *Knocks over a cup of punch* What the hell…

*Punches him in the face and twitches* WHAT…DID…I…SAY!

Damon: *Growls* You wanna try that again Bitch?

*Demon Voice* CLEAN THIS SHIT UP NOW!

Damon: …Pfft. Fine.

Thank you *Smiles*

FutureActress: *Jumps on Damon* I love you!

Bonnie and Elena: Kill him!

FutureActress: No!

Broadway: Damon, Bob, Edward hiiiii. So how does it feel being a dad? And Bonnie and Elena, how do you feel being mommy? BTW could someone inform me of the names and whose kid is whose, this love pentagon confuses me.

Okay. There's Dante, Dominic, and Danny for Bonnie's kids which she had with Damon.

Elena: Uncreative.

Bonnie: Shut up.

For Elena who has a baby by Edward and Bob/Damon, is Nina and Damon Jr.

Bonnie: …That's a girl.

Elena: Surprised me too.

She's not shiny.

Edward: That's my girl.

Broadway: Really?

Damon: Guess so.

Broadway: Okay.

Bob: I like being dad!

Elena: *Twitch* Your not one.

Edward: I'm happy. *Cries*

She actually really pretty. Nina's a cute name.

Elena: Thank you.

Broadway: Katherine, you're pregnant? How is that possible?

Katherine: Ask Rogue. *Twitch*

Broadway: Over 1,000 reviews! I am amazed at the number of new fangirls. -does waffle dance with Gir-

Gir: Yay! *Starts dancing*

Broadway: Hi, Riley. You're awesome!

Riley: I know but this bitch won't give me any screen time!

…Bitch?

Riley: Bring it!

*Ignores him*

Riley: DON'T IGNORE ME!

Broadway: Poor Stefan, Elena made you cry this week on VD. Come on, let's hug the pain away. *Hugs Stefan*

Stefan: Thanks.

Broadway: *Bounces over to Jack* Jack, I got 2 extra passes to a Vegas costume party, bring Ke$ha and let's get wasted. I'll be the bartender.

Jack: Sure love. Kesha would love to be in Vegas again. They kicked us out the state once but when do I ever give up for booze?

Broadway: … Sup Zero, how's life treating you?

Zero: I want them all to die. *Emoing in the corner*

Broadway: Okay? Eric, I'm literally ripping out my hair waiting for TB Season 4. Ep-puts Bill and Bella in straitjackets and throw them in an elevator headed straight to hell-

Bill and Bella: *Screams*

Broadway: Edward, it's time to shave your sparkles or is it Sam?

Sam: It's this costume isn't it?

Broadway: *cough*Sam has herpes*cough*

Sam: *Twitch*

Broadway: Anyway, gotta jet. Byeeeee!

Bye! *Smiles* You cleaning up the stain Damon?

Damon: *Growls* Yes.

Thank you!

Damon: *Mumbles under his breath* Dumb, annoying, short, bitch.

*Throws a Twilight book at his head*

Damon: …

Crowley's Bitch 13: Chi Omg! Adrian from vampire academy i love him! He's my favorite character from that book!

Adrian: Yep. I'm here in the flesh…until Rogue…kills me again.

Bonnie: Poor guy.

*Nods*

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley *Gives more people to make deals with* happy?

Crowley: *Smirks* Yep.

Crowley's Bitch: *Kills Black Star very slowly* Happy Damon?

Damon: Yep. *Kicks Black Star's body*

You know he will be back.

Damon: That's why I'm taking my revenge now.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi I have my period so I'm pissed! *kills Edward, Bella, and Random dude in the back*

As long as it isn't in this room. I'm fine with it.

Crowley's Bitch: Alice I don't think I've ever said hi to u so hi!

Alice: Hi?

Crowley's Bitch: Damon come hear I wanna whisper something in your ear *Yells hi in his ear* how's that for fangirls being to loud!

Damon: O.O. You want to blow out my ear drums!

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley tell me something evil to do now! I'm pissed and bored bad combination!

Crowley: Fine. Give me your mother's head with her soul attached to it.

…Why?

Crowley: Death always pleases me.

You just stay away from my mom.

Crowley: Can not promise that.

Crowley's Bitch: Dean *gives his car* you see that big dent Sam did that to your car!

Dean: *Twitch*

Everyone: *Duck and cover deans going to blow!*

Crowley's Bitch: Laughs. Sam I said I wouldn't hurt and I didn't but now I feel bad so *gives brand new iPad* better?

Sam: S-sure.

Crowley's Bitch: Can I do anything for u?

I can't think of anything right now.

Crowley's Bitch: You didn't friend request me or write the Damon/Eric slash!

I thought I did. But I'm redoing the slash because…I thought I sucked.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi should I change my name to Lucifer's bitch?

Sure.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi I posted a forum please check it out! (I think it's called my supernatural contests)

Alright!

Crowley's Bitch: Damon… YOU KILLED MASON! *grabs stake and swings at him*

Damon: *Dodges it* ARE YOU CRAZY?

Crowley's Bitch: Revenge is mine!

…

15 minutes later.

Crowley's Bitch: Stefan here *gives bunny* *presses button and bunny explodes* I made it eat an explosive!

Stefan: *Covered in blood, twitching*

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone bye!

Bye!

Damon: Good bye. Far away. *Twitch*

…

LoveHurts1996: Hey whatsup?

Nothing

LoveHurts: I have a question. If masons dead then how in the fucking hell is he here?

Mason: Will you all just let me have my fucking moment GOSH!

LoveHurts: Hey Mason, ever consider anger management?

Mason: Shove it up ur ass

LoveHurts: Oh grow some balls

Mason: I officially hate you

LoveHurts: Do I look I give a flying shit?

Mason: ...

LoveHurts: I thought so. *cough* bastard *cough*

Caroline: Who the fuck needs cable?

LoveHurts: Thank you Caroline

Damon: Oh you're back love?

LoveHurts: I'm not talking to you.

Damon: why?

LoveHurts: I took Bonnie's warning to heart last show. Meaning I went to the doctor and had a pregnancy test done.

Everyone: Oh FUCK!

LoveHurts: Exactly. Anyways, I have yet to get the results. They should be here any second

Mail dude: Hey I got a package for a LoveHurts

LoveHurts: That's me.

Mail dude: *Hands package*

LoveHurts: Thanks.

Mail dude: Anytime. Hey wait is that Edward Cullen?

LoveHurts: Who gives a shit he's a fucked up sparkly faggot.

Mail dude: Whatever.

Elena: Let's hope for the best.

LoveHurts: I know right cuz I swear if I'm pregnant I'm going to kill someone. That someone will be Edward.

Edward: No surprise. Oh how I hate you.

LoveHurts: Can it. Should I open it?

Everyone: Hell yes!

LoveHurts: Damon I swear if I'm frickin pregnant...

Damon: *Shrugs* Not my fault you seduced me.

LoveHurts: God Damon. Anyways here goes... *opens envelope*

Chi, Bonnie and Elena: Well?

LoveHurts: I'm. Fucking. PREGNANT! I am going to kill you Damon. Chi you're right he DOES have to impregnate every fucking girl on the show!

Bonnie: I warned you.

LoveHurts: Yes. You did and I'm glad I listened. Thank you Bonnie. Now what the hell do I do?

Damon: Shit a third one!

LoveHurts: You knocked me up!

Damon: Just didn't think it would happen.

There is a thing called condoms!

Damon: It doesn't make me feel good.

LoveHurts: This is serious shit where the fuck is Edward!

Edward: Why am I always a target?

LoveHurts: You're a sparkly fag that's why * blows Edward up* now that that's done I feel like eating some chocolate

Elena: Here come the cravings.

LoveHurts: Oh dear god.

Bonnie: There is a spell I can use to take the baby away.

LoveHurts: I'm fine with it. Damon?

Damon: Do whatever pleases you.

LoveHurts: So you don't give?

Damon: I just want you to be happy.

LoveHurts: Wow. Bonnie... It's fine I'll keep the kid.

Bonnie: Are you sure?

LoveHurts: Yes.

Elena: You know you're raising the kid alone right?

LoveHurts: Yes. And I know I can.

Bonnie & Elena: You're not alone. The three of us will stick together deal?

LoveHurts: Deal. And once this is over we need revenge on Damon.

Bonnie: But first chocolate!

LoveHurts: YES! Finally!

Damon: Love, I really want you to know I'm sorry.

LoveHurts: It's fine I just need baby names now. Ideas?

Everyone: Nope!

LoveHurts: If anyone at all has any ideas please send those in I need names ASAP! Thanks! I'd better go now.

Bye.

Alice: I'll help you with anything you need. Know that okay.

LoveHurts: Thanks Alice.

Damon.

Damon: What?

Come to the back with me real quick.

Damon: …Why?

Just go. Now.

Damon: Fine. *Walks to the backroom*

Lestat: THE HELL!

*Places a finger up* I'll be back. *Walks to the backroom*

Alice: *Smirks*

*Three hours later*

*Pants*

Alice: Covered in blood. Always a good sign.

He deserved it.

Damon: *Crawls out the room* You bitch.

Lestat: …He's a vamp, you're a human…how did you beat him up.

My show. My rules.

LeLelurvsGlee: GUESS WHO'S BACK? I AM! I haven't reviewed in forever! But anyway, did you guys miss me?

Damon: I didn't.

LeLe: Who cares about you?

Damon: *Growls*

LeLe: I know you did! Ok first off Damon I have to pulverize you because you choked Jeremy on the Plan B episode. THAT'S JUST NOT COOL!-slaps Damon nonstop-

Damon: Bastard!

LeLe: *Kicks Damon before turning to Jeremy* Speaking of Jeremy, -runs over and tackles Jeremy- Hi! I LOVE YOU! You're like so awesome! -Hugs him-

Jeremy: Thanks.

LeLe: Caroline!-runs over and hugs her- Your so awesome! -Makes way over to Katherine- BITCH YOU MADE JENNA STAB HERSELF! YOU FUCKING WHORE!-stakes her numerous times and then hits her with baseball bat so that she's out cold-

Caroline: …O.o

Katherine: *Screams*

LeLe: Hey Eric you can go have your way with her in the back room-hands Katherine over- Stefan! -Hands him tons of bunnies- I missed you! AND JACK! I MISSED YOU THE MOST! Let's go bet drunk! HI CHI! Btw congrats on 1000+ reviews! Ok bye!

*Neverous laugh* Thanks.

Heart-Broken-In-Love: *walks in wearing a black and red very short and sexy corset dress* I got bored so I found what the dress looks like Chi here .uk/red%20moulin%20dress%

Oh, so pretty!

Alice: I want one.

Heart-Broken: *grins* Hi! *leans against wall with smirk* O_O did Gir...Rip off Eric's head...? OMG THAT WAS THE SHIZ LOL!

Eric: It was just lucky from a crazed dog robot.

Heart-Broken: Your right Charity people do love random things. Happy 1,000 reviews! :D Charity, I'm going to Pm you, like when I'm done with this lol.

Thanks!

Heart-Broken: Damon, this is not a stupid story!

Damon: Depends whose point of view you're looking at.

*Flips him off*

Heart-Broken: Lestat, back off Stefan he belongs to Tara *nods*

Tara: YEAH!

Lestat: Pfft.

Heart-Broken: Tara, KICK LESTATS ASS!

Tara: *Pulls out a sword* Yeah!

Lestat: *Gulps*

Heart-Broken: Hehe nice Gir and Charity, balloons are the shiz.

Me & Gir: Yep.

Heart-Broken: Eric, no one likes rapists now I'm glad I didn't be your bitch and was Katherine's.

Eric: Never cared for opinions.

Heart-Broken: Damon, ... Is that Black Star person trying to rape you? *shoots Black Star*

Black Star: *Screams then falls off Damon dead*

Heart-Broken: Hehe I love killing people...Ooooh who else can I kill.

Katherine: Don't think about coming over here.

Heart-Broken: Damon, by the way you're welcome.

Damon: Does this niceness have a price?

Heart-Broken: I'll think about it. Eric, No one is interested in you...I used to be but that was before I found out you were gay...Not that I have problems with gays...Just gonna point that out lol.

I'm still interested

Heart-Broken: Well…she is. Everyone, Okay who wants to team up with me to destroy the people we hate? But remember no hurting Gir or Chi they are off limance...not sure I spelled that right...

Alice: It's limits.

Heart-Broken: Chi, If we can do it we will do it in Elenas house so it gets destroyed and not yours! Ohh and just incase you and Gir can be in a protected room!

Okay.

Gir: Yay!

Riley: What about me?

Heart-Broken: And you're from?

Riley: You son of a ….*Me covering his mouth*

*Nervous laugh*

Heart-Broken: Black star, One thing...WHO THE FUCK IS YOU? *eyes blazing*

Black Star: I AM GOD!

He's from the anime Soul Eater.

Black Star: I am the best ninja in the world. HOHO!

Very annoying sometimes.

Heart-Broken: Didn't really care. Chi, have you heard of the band pretty reckless? They have really good songs!

Never, but I'll give them a listen.

Heart-Broken: I want a new stalker...my stalker died in a tragic car accident :( Who wants to be my stalker? I know it sounds weird but Stalkers are the shiz

I had a stalker…

Sebastian: But I ate her.

Um…you have a little blood…*Points to his cheek*

Sebastian: *Wipes it off* Thank you milady.

Where's the bunny you fell for?

Sebastian: I ate her.

…PLEASE EAT ME!

Damon: It's not the same thing you're thinking in your dirty mind.

Like you can talk! You got a fangirl pregnant.

Damon: I was set up!

Bonnie: Lies!

Elena: Liar!

Heart-Broken: Caroline, Haven't you been here long enough to know its crazy there?

Caroline: *Sighs* Yes.

Heart-Broken: Lestat, O_o what the fuck? Pink Flamingo really? Why would Eric want your *snickers* Pink flamingo?

Lestat: He's trying to take my things to piss me off.

Eric: *Holds up a pink flamingo*

Lestat: You bastard! *Tackles Eric*

Heart-Broken: Ichigo, ...Your name sounds like a crayon you know that one called indigo *laughs*

It actually means strawberries in Japanese.

Ichigo: Great, tell them…*Freezes up*

Katherine: I love younger boys.

Heart-Broken: Katherine, Nice choice even though his name sounds like a crayon.

Katherine: I know.

Ichigo: Please save me.

Heart-Broken: Alice, He's not jailbait Katherine can compel the people to let her go duh.

Alice: True but he's 15.

Heart-Broken: Then tell Edward that.

Edward: …

Heart-Broken: *Smirks* Jacob and Seth, Scared of Katherine?

Jacob: Nope but I don't want her to play with my stuff in public.

Seth: Same here.

Katherine: You would like it.

Heart-Broken: …Tyler, Your awesome now *grins* *hugs and makes out with him*

Jeremy: HEY!

Heart-Broken: Caroline, Your cool because I feel bad for you because your mothers a bitch *snickers* That wasn't meant in a mean way though...I think...O_O

Caroline: …

Heart-Broken: Ichigo, I can only guess where she was touching you...Your head *giggles* I got into the sugar again!

Ichigo: Why don't you save me?

Heart-Broken: Save yourself Mr. Bankai master.

Ichigo: Why rub it in?

Heart-Broken: Bella, I liked you better when you were stupid and innocent but I didn't hardly like you there either.

Bella: Hey! I don't like you either!

Heart-Broken: *Punches Bella in the head* Bonnie, Why the hell are you craving chocolate when giving labor?

Bonnie: Hey! I did my time, I just wanted a reward during the pain.

Heart-Broken: Jack, O_O you handed over your liquor? That was different...*hands him more* That's your reward for being nice...even though it wasn't to me.

Jack: All you have to do is ask love.

Heart-Broken: Seth, I liked you first so be happy it was like almost you ten a picture of Jeremy popped up on face book...blame face book.

Seth: You want to die Jeremy?

Jeremy: Bring it.

Don't bloody up the carpet!

Heart-Broken: Plus Tyler and Jeremy are the new hot people *grins*

Seth: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: Chi, Yay! You will be the third person reading it then lol.

Lol. I'll put a review in soon. Blame my laziness.

Heart-Broken: Gir, LOOK AT ELENA!

Elena: *Eating all Gir's cupcakes and taquitos*

Gir: *Screams*

Heart-Broken: I told you Gir

Elena: *throws away all the waffles in the whole state*

WAFFFFLES! They are the shiz! KILL HER GIR IF YOU CAN!

Heart-Broken*kisses Gir on cheek* You are just to adorable!

Gir: *red lipstick on cheek* DIE! *Chases after Elena*

Heart-Broken: It will come off after a while *grins* Katherine, You never did get me my boy toy *frowns*

Katherine: I'll find you one. I'm just not giving up Ichigo yet.

Heart-Broken: Stefan, Omg I would have never thought you would blush that's cute.

Stefan: Thanks?

Heart-Broken: Lestat, We need to have a talk and by a talk I mean your ass is about to kicked...you better hope this dress doesn't rip! *attacks Lestat*

*5 minutes later*

Lestat: *taped to wall with head cut off*

*Twitch*

Heart-Broken: Don't worry Chi Elena will clean the mess up!

Elena: WHAT!

Heart-Broken: *Ignoring Elena* Oooh and there was no rip in my dress not even a scratch on me *giggles* That was fun. Lestat, No one loves you. Stefan doesn't love you Chi doesn't love you. No one does!

…

Heart-Broken: Tara, Am I right or am I right? *smirks*

Tara: HELL YEAH!

Heart-Broken: Chi, would you please bring in Shinichi from the vampire Diaries books? He is the shiz! And a Kitsune...look it up on wiki chi.

Okay.

Heart-Broken: Caroline, Yes. Yes that was cruel just be happy it's not happening to you...yet *smirks*

Caroline: What did I do?

Heart-Broken: Katherine, Give it to what Bitch? Aww thanks Katherine but I still think its shit I've wrote much better.

Katherine: I like it cause it's so true

Heart-Broken: Chi, I agree why can't all guys be like Sebastian *sighs* But I do like my guys feisty too *smirks*

*Looks at Damon* You can have him.

Damon: Trying to get rid of me?

So what.

Heart-Broken: Caroline, You watch soap operas? O_O those are for old people what the hell is wrong with you?

I watch soaps too! General Hospital for life!

Caroline: Yeah!

Heart-Broken: Gir, YES LETS HAVE A WAFFLE PART LIKE YOU SUGGESTED! WITH MUSIC! *music starts playing*

Lestat: …

Heart-Broken: *grins* Chi, Who else is here? *Takes out Chinese knife* Can I kill them? *smiles sweetly*

Bella: *Gulps* Why is it always me?

Bill: It could be me.

Heart-Broken: If someone had aids...Oh shit wed all be screwed your right! You know we should check that out...just incase

So true.

Bonnie: *Nods*

Heart-Broken: THAT WOULD BE COOL IF PREGNANCY WAS A STD! I want to be pregnant! *high off sugar*

Mail Dude: Message.

…You again?

Mail Dude: I have to make my money. *Hands Heart-Broken an envelope*

Heart-Broken: What the hell is this?

Mail Dude: You'll know soon enough.

Heart-Broken: *Opens it* Fuck!

What?

I'm pregnant!

LoveHurts: Join the club!

Who's the dad?

Heart-Broken: …Edward?

Elena: Not again!

Heart-Broken: I'm kidding like that would ever happen. It says it's Jeremy.

Jeremy: HA!

Seth: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: Who or what is Kevin Hart?

He's a comedian who's very funny.

Heart-Broken: *Hugs Tyler again* Your almost better than Jeremy...Maybe Seth too...Yep your better than Seth. Seth, Sorry! Your like hot boy number 3 on my list no one else will get ahead of you!

Seth: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: ...Poor Sebastian...

Sebastian: I'm pretty good.

Heart-Broken: You know what I'm in the mood for a threesome! Come on Tyler Jeremy! *goes to back room with them*

15 hours later

Got a 3?

Alice: Goldfish.

Heart-Broken: I'm back! Elena, Your a whore you say you love everyone *rolls eyes* K*kills Elena and her babies*

DON'T KILLL NINA! SHE"S ACTUALLY CUTE!

Damon: Better what she could have been.

Heart-Broken: Who's my next victim? Any volunteers? *points gun and knife at everyone*

*Ducks*

Alice: *Ducks*

Bella: WHY!

Heart-Broken: Did I mention Im training to be an Assassin?

Scary!

Heart-Broken: *Evil laugh* Im already will good at it! *stakes Eric* I don't like you now.

Eric: I…never…cared.

Heart-Broken: Gir, Since Elena *glares at Elena* threw away all the waffles in the stare I went to the next stare and got you one *grins and hugs Gir* KILL THAT KOOL AID MAN GIR!

Gir: Okay! *Chases after Kool Aid man*

Heart-Broken: O_O Omg I wrote a lot...Sorry Chi lol Im gonna stop typing now...

Alright.

Heart-Broken: Actually Im gonna sit here next to Tyler and watch everything *smirks*  
Now Im gonna stop typing lol.

Okay!

Rogue Assasin: *Rogue comes in flying on her broom stick*Hi honey!

Heart-Broken: Ew!

Rogue: *Blows a kiss*

Heart-Broken: *Dodges it*

Rogue: Edward: That time of the month *Edward gets zapped by lightning and all his sparkles fall down*

Edward: Nooooooooo my precious sparkles! Alice! Get the glitter!

Rogue:*Cocks eyebrow* We should really kill that bastard... *Rogue gives Chi a big hug and squeezes her tight*

D-Don't kill …me.

Rogue: Congratz on your 1000th chapter - this is an awesome place for all us crazy people to congregate... then again it makes it easier for those people in white clothes to some for us... but I think we can take them!

Damon: …Okay.

Rogue: Jacob, Seth - I think Kat's already added you to her pedo collection *Seth gags*

Seth: I don't like old ladies.

Kat: Want me to get the whip again?

Jacob: Katherine - you're pregnant all this anger is not good for the baby...

Katherine:*Screaming* Don't you tell me what's good and not good for me! *Katherine falls down holding her stomach*

What just happened?

Castiel:*Jumping up and down in victory* That's my girl! Smite her from within!  
Damon: Cas can you make your kid do it again?

Stefan: How do you know it's a girl?

Castiel: I'm an angel you retard.

Sam: When she grows older I will screw her!

Everyone: O_o

Sam: What? It's revenge for taking Dean from me!

Dean: I don't want you or Castiel anymore! I'm Team Eric! *Dean rips of clothes to reveal a Team Eric thong.

Damon: I think I'm going to be sick.

Eric and Stefan: Me too

Black Star: FEAR MY GODLY ASS!

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: *Rogue nukes Black Star*

Damon: Finally he's gone!

Rogue: All you had to do was ask sugar *Rogue makes out with Pam*

Edward: GO AWAY!

Rogue: *Ignores Edward* Hannah - Wincest? That sounds freakishly cool.

Castiel: It don't.

Rogue: Hmmmm - Good Idea Damon - black mambas are very common here - I'm think more spitting rock cobra... Don't worry Damon, Eric and Pam I will kill anyone who fucks with any of you - fangirls included. *Rogue makes out with Damon* Haven't done that in too long a time

Eric: Then you have a lot of fangirls to kill then.

Rogue: Chi a pet - update soon!

Okay.

Rogue: Billy boy - Pink tutu on NOW *Rogue cracks her whip* Dance boy DANCE!

Bill: *Starts twirling slowly and prancing* FUCK!

Rogue: Today you are doing the nutcracker and Fagward - Pink Tutu on as well!

Edward: *Edward puts on pink tutu* I hate you.

Rogue: Dance you bastards dance - you aren't allowed to stop until the end of the show - wait scratch that - you two aren't allowed to stop until Damon and Pam say you can. *Rogue leans on Charity and watches the Faggot musical*

Ichigo: She has her hand in my pants! *Cries*

Rogue: Hold on Honey I'll get to you in a bit - *Rogue leans close to Charity and whispers in her ear* Sooooo you going to be my bitch?

O_o *Looks at Lestat and laughs nervously*

Rogue: You aren't letting some well over dead dick make your choices for you?

Lestat: Dick?

Rogue: I want a bitch - So someone has to be Rogue's bitch and wear a Team Rogue bikini!

Alice: I wanna do it!

Rogue: Now for you Ichigo. Katherine get your filthy pedophilic paws out of the kid's pants!

Katherine: Make me!

Rogue: *Rogue smirks* Castiel *Castiel looks at Katherine's stomach and she falls over in pain*

Castiel: That's it my precious girl - strike her again! SMITE HER EVIL ASS!

Ichigo: *Ichigo runs to Charity and hugs her* Please keep her away from me *Cries*

Poor guy. *Pats his back*

Rogue: Damon I have a gift for you!

Damon: Another trip to the playboy mansion with Pam?

Stefan: You took Pam!

Pam: What's wrong with taking me?

Stefan: I don't know maybe something called the brotherly bond! I should have gone!

Damon: This isn't Wincest! So what's my gift?

Rogue: *Rogue opens a new door* Well my people contacted Chi's people and we got a playpen made for the Bamon babies in this room - it's sound proof and virtually indestructible so that the babies are kept safe and away from the insanity.

Elena, Bob and Edward: What about our offspring!

Well I can take care of Nina.

Elena: Why just Nina?

…*Smiles*

Rogue: Keep dancing you bastard! Oh we have a little corner in there for them - they just need to stay away from the 4 Bamon kids.

Castiel: And my little girl?

Rogue: When she's born she can join the Bamon babies! So Katherine how goes the pregnancy?

Katherine: Fuck you!

Rogue: … Castiel how do you feel about becoming a dad?

Castiel: I'm happy at least someone will appreciate me.

Katherine: Not me!

Castiel: I mean my baby girl!

Rogue: Damon what preparations have you made to become a Dad - will Pam be a step mom?

Damon: I made a special room for them.

Pam: Sure why not.

Rogue: Pam how do you feel about being a step mom?

Pam: I feel pretty good.

Rogue: Bonnie how do you feel about Pam and Damon?

Bonnie: I already have a man and he's faithful to me and good with kids. That's all I want.

Rogue: Elena how do you feel about Stefan and Tara?

Elena: HE'S MINE!

Tara: You wish.

Please don't tear up my room!

Rogue: Caroline *Rogue grabs Caroline and makes out with her* backroom time * Whoever wants to watch can watch.

Eric: Here I come.

Pam: Same here.

Hannah: Castiel you have secret feelings for me don't you?

Castiel: …I don't wanna say.

Hannah: … Dean: How come you tell me to stay away from other guys, when you get to hook up with fangirls?

Dean: Because these guys have STDs and I'm trying to keep you safe.

Hannah: I sense a very small truth there. Tyler can I see your abs?

Tyler: *Takes his shirt off*

Yay!

Damon: *Hits me in the head* Fucking pervert.

Hannah: Stefan: Can I have a hug?

Stefan: Okay?

Hannah: *Hugs him*

Tara: …

Hannah: Damn Damon when was the last time we hooked up?

Damon: Very long ago.

Pam: …

Hannah: Sam puppy, can I have a piggy back ride?

Sam: No.

Hannah: Aw. Why not?

Sam: F-Fine.

Hannah: Yay! *Jumps on his back*

Sam: Don't kill me.

Hannah: WEEEEEE! Edward the dude who plays fake Edward in Vampires Suck is hotter than you.

Edward: A cow is hotter than you.

Hannah: Ew. I knew something was wrong with you.

Edward: That's not what I meant!

Hannah: Jeremy you are awesome.

Jeremy: Thanks. *Smiles*

Hannah: Elena I care about you, but hun, you and Damon won't happen.

For her sanity I hope not.

Damon: Up yours!

Hannah: Caroline do you still love Matt?

Caroline: *Blush* Y-yeah.

Hannah: Chi do you like Paramore?

Yes! I've been to there concert. And she said Hi to me. *Fangirl squeal*

Hannah: Bonnie you deserve a hot piece of ass.

Bonnie: *Looks at Adrian* Yep.

Hannah: Cas be Katy Perry and sing Teenage Dream!

Castiel: I hate you. *Goes to the dressing room*

…Hannah, don't tell me you're pregnant too?

Hannah: What?

*Music starts*

Castiel: You think I'm pretty  
Without any makeup on  
You think I'm funny  
When I tell the punch line wrong  
I know you get me  
So I let my walls come down  
Down

Edward: Before you met me I was alright but things  
Were kinda heavy  
You brought me to life  
Now every February, you'll be my valentine  
Valentine

Hannah: *Kicks Edward out the way*

Castiel: Let's go all the way tonight  
No regrets, just love  
We can dance until we die  
You and I, we'll be young forever

You... make me Feel  
Like I'm living a  
Teenage dream  
The way you turn me on  
I can't sleep  
Let's run away and  
Don't ever look back,  
Don't ever look back.

Yay!

Castiel: I'm done. So ha.

Hannah: Okay. Bye guys.

BeatrixMayfeir: Ow hell! I can't believe I missed a chapter! Damn school is sucking my life! I'm so depressed! Chiiii *hugs you tight* missed you *hides face between your boobs* I brought strawberries and chocolate, let's go play in the backroom and celebrate your thousandth review!

Yay!

Damon: No, she has work to do.

When?

Damon: Cause I said so.

You're not my master!

Damon: …Right.

*Twitch*

Beatrix: Bye, *Drags me with her*

*couple of hours later*

Beatrix: Thanks Chi I'm feeling sooo much better *licks lips*

Damon: you have some chocolate on your cheek.

Beatrix: Where?

Damon: *licks cheek* here!

Beatrix: *Blushes* You and Rogue are the only ones who can still make me blush! Not fair!

Damon: *Laughs* Beat you Chu.

*Mouths out* Fuck you.

Damon: I know you want to.

Beatrix: Oh time for vengeance! SAMUEL WINCHESTER YOU'RE DEAD! *jumps on Sam and starts punch the shit out of him* you damn bastard! How could you? Smirks while your brother was being turned in a vamp! *sticks knives in his hands than gets up and start kicking him in the ribs* die bastard! I haven't done yet *takes a poker from the fire and stabs Sam repeatedly with it* thanks for the idea Damon! *kicks Sam head off* eh Crowley give it to one of your puppy to play with!

Crowley: Of course.

Beatrix: Come on Cas! Let's bring Dean to the backroom and make him forget he ever knew that asshole! Dean was pretty cool in the last episode when he killed all those vamp after all! But I'm pissed that he didn't kill Lisa too so let's make him our little bitch, kay Cas?

Castiel: You know how to make my day.

Beatrix: *Drags Dean to the backroom*

Castiel: *Follows them*

Hours later.

Beatrix: Yeah now I'm good! Maybe I'll burn the school for Halloween!

Come to San Fran and burn my school too.

Beatrix: Oh by the way congrats for the babies! Booze for everyone! Sebastian you're amazing *makes out with him* and Damon if you want custody I'll be your lawyer of course if Rogue *grabs Rogue and makes out* doesn't take the problem in her awesome and terrible hands and just kills the moms or worse!

Bonnie: I'm not taking the babies away, he can visit them all he wants but if he doesn't pop in once in a while I'll go Chuck Norris on his ass.

Everyone: O.O *Gasp*

No one can beat Chuck Norris!

Damon: Not this again.

Beatrix: Ok time to go! *kisses Chi* bye

*Blush* Bye!

FutureActress: Damon I-

Pam: You've said it way too much!

FutureActress: Damon I love you!

Bonnie: Manwhore.

FutureActress: Don't ruin my moment!

Bonnie: With him, you have no life.

FutureActress: *cry*

Eric: You alright?

FutureActress: Eric don't touch me!

Eric: Fine.

FutureActress: Gir for a little guy, you're really strong. Edward and Eric stole all your waffles and syrup.

Gir: …DIE! *Chases after Edward cause Eric doesn't care*

FutureActress: Jack also they stole you're booze.

Jack: How dare you?

Eric: …

FutureActress: Edward Die!

Edward: Your mother.

FutureActress: You suck beyond belief. Damon: That poem that Katherine told a fangirl to write, I could never hate you!

Katherine: You should.

FutureActress: Nope. Can't do it.

Alice: Leave people alone.

Katherine: Bite me fairy princess.

Alice: *Tackles Katherine*

Careful she's pregnant!

Alice: *Gets off Katherine* Your lucky bitch!

Katherine: Kiss my ass!

FutureActress: … Damon you can be really sweet when you want to be.

Damon: …Don't insult me like that. I'm not sweet.

FutureActress: *Rolls eyes* Rrrright. Katherine I would think you could totally do better than being Eric's bitch.

Katherine: I'm not his shit!

Eric: That what you say. But you're next!

FutureActress: … Caroline you are my newest bff! *hug*

Caroline: Thanks.

FutureActress: I'll never go away!

Pam: I can try to make you go away.

Damon: O.O

Bonnie: What's with the face Damon?

…You guys are weird.

Bill: *Bill stops twirling and pants* I need a break!

Edward: Me too...

Rogue: Dance mother fuckers DANCE! *Rogue starts whipping Bill and Edward with a silver studded whip* Damon and Pam never said you could stop!

Bill: Damon... Pam... Please

Rogue: *Rogue whips Bills thighs* I never said you could talk neither. Damon! Pam! *Rogue makes out with Damon and Pam* Damon I loved how you said Jeremy wants to play Indiana Jones. Jeremy you are a sweet little kid ... you've come a long way from Season one - I wanted to kill you then. You are so lucky that you're related to Kat via Elena or she'd molest you too!

Katherine: Stop driving the little boys from me!

Rogue: Castiel

Castiel: Looks at Katherine's stomach.

Katherine:*Falls down screaming* Get it outta me! *Kat get smite from within again*

Rogue: Katherine I am happy and Sad that you get killed - it means I no longer have to see 2 of you! But I think you would have been better off if you just moved along and worked at something real with Mason instead of using him - now you both get to shovel coal in the pits of hell - I will personally supervise!

Katherine: Blah, blah, blah. If it an one things it's another. *Twitch*

Rogue: Hey Chi the chick that played Bella Talbot in supernatural is coming to VD - well one episode only - I hope she gets more! I really like her - she would be so good for Damon if her character is anything like Bella Talbot's.

Elena: I don't think he needs another girl.

Damon: I do too.

Rogue: So Damon and Stefan take a road trip soon... wonder where to...

Edward: Hell.

Rogue: *Whips Edward* SHUT THE FUCK AND KEEP DANCING!

Edward: …

Rogue: Okay... Torture time! *Rogue puts on surgical gloves* Beatrix Honey *Beatrix appears in a flash of fire - Rogue makes out with Beatrix*

Beatrix: Sam, Sam lets torture Sam!

Sam: Why me?

Rogue: I know how you're feeling, you bastard how could you stand by and watch whilst Dean got turned! You actually waited for the vampire to feed him blood and then attacked the vamp like the pussy you are that wasn't even an attack what were you doing? Performing Swan Lake with a big ass knife! *Rogue kicks Sam between the legs and Beatrix hits his big head with a frying pan*

Beatrix: *Lowering Sam into crocodile pit* We only doing him?

Rogue: Naah *Rogue grabs Bella and tosses her into crocodile pit*

Bella: EDWARD!

Edward: *Leaps in the air with Bill and twirls* Kinda busy here, I have so got this! I am the best ballerina ever!

Damon: So gay...

Edward: Your mother!

Damon: I fucked her

Edward: O.O

Rogue: *Rogue whips Edward* I didn't say you could speak either!

Beatrix: Look their doing the death roll with her head! *Everyone watches the crocs take off Bella's head*

Sam: You are sick, SICK people how can you watch such brutality?

Rogue: You're next bitch boy. *Beatrix pulls down lever and Sam falls into croc pit*

Beatrix: That's it take his fucking head off! *Beatrix tosses Elena in*

Edward: Noooooooooooo! *Edward jumps into bloody water to save Elena - water starts to sparkle*

Croc1: Where did all this fucking glitter come from! Oh no its Edward fucking Cullen!

Croc2: It's making the water toxic, as if that Sam dude's blood wasn't toxic enough.

Croc3: You didn't pull off the first chicks head - she had AIDS.

Croc4: We didn't sign up for this shit! We're leaving!

Everyone: O.O

Rogue: Oh well - next time I'm getting Caiman crocs there far more vicious than Nile crocs.

Smart Crocs.

Rogue: Hey Alice... What's up with you and Jasper or are you with Eric now... I seriously don't blame you... he's fucking hot!

Alice: …

Rogue: Eric...

Eric: Yes little one?

Rogue: Fuck me

Beatrix: we'll have a 3 way! *Beatrix grabs Eric and Rogue's hands and takes them to the back room*

Damon: You not joining them?

Pam: Oh I'll catch Rogue later... in her bedroom... I'm just trying to keep people's paws off you *Pam stares at Future before making out with Damon* Let's go play naughty nurse!

Damon: Lead the way

Bonnie: that's it! *Bonnie tackles Pam, Elena Joins the fight*

Bonnie: BAMON 4 life!

Elena: Del- *Elena gets plugged by Katherine*

Katherine: Say it bitch and you die! *Katherine joins the fight*

Bella: I want him too! *Rogue shoots Bella in the head*

Rogue: Man that bitch won't die!

Future Actress: I want him *Future joins the brawl*

Love hurts: I want him! *Love hurts drop kicks Bonnie*

Charity: Fuck this I want my piece of the pie too! *Charity starts beating Katherine with her shoe*

Caroline: *Screams* DAMONLINE!

Everyone: O.O

Lestat: Aww Hell!

*It's a free for all fight for Damon*

It's for Damon? I give up.

Damon: *Pushes me back into the fight* YOU BETTER FIGHT FOR ME DAMN IT!

…NEVER!

Lestat: You not joining Eric?

Eric: I'm pretty happy with Stefan *Eric slaps Stefan's ass*

Lestat: You bastard! *Lestat and Eric fight*

Rogue: Oh well - John...

John: What! Sam let Dean become a vampire *Rogue smiles**John grabs chest and falls down*

Rogue: Well my work is done.

*Demonic voice* DON'T MESS UP MY SHIT!

Everyone: O.o…

FutureActress: Chi I love Adrian because I love Vampire Academy.

Adrian: Thanks.

FutureActress: Elena because I love Damon, how does this affect our friendship?

Elena: I don't even want to talk about it. Lady. I'll get over it…

Katherine: Not.

FutureActress: Caroline I'll be your fan girl too!

Caroline: Thanks.

FutureActress: Elena do you still love Stefan, too?

Elena: Of course I do.

FutureActress: Mason how does it feel now that you're "dead".

Mason: It feels cold and fuzzy and stop ruining my moment!

Pam: Go away!

FutureActress: No!

Jack: you two fighting' over me?

FutureActress: Damon's mine. *hits Pam on the head with a frying pan.*

Caroline: Certainly don't want to piss her off.

Pam: *pushes Future*

Hey! Fangirls need to be kept alive! Especially since she's so adorable.

Pam: More like a leech.

FutureActress: Talk all you want, Pam.

Gir: *hugs Pam in a death hold*

Please don't kill Gir Pam.

Pam: Can't…promise…that.

xXspoiiledheartXx: Chi- Congratulations on yur 1k review and remember someone bother yu ill kick there ass cuz this is tha best story i ever read i hope it never ends.

Thank you.

Spoiiled: Damon- Hi Damie did yu miss me.

Damon: …Are you the one that's been trying to kill me?

Spoiiled: …

Damon: Okay…

Spoiiled: Edward- Im bakk bitch.

Edward: …FUCK!

Broadway: Damon, hi again. Um, I saw you in VD and the way you put Katherine in the tomb was priceless.

Damon: Best…feeling…ever.

Broadway: Can I help name one of the babies? For a boy, I like Chance and for a girl I like Logan.

Bonnie: Well the names aren't set in stone yet.

Broadway: Sam has herpes and slept with Pam and Dean. Pam slept with Rogue, Damon, and Chi. Damon slept with Bonnie. Chi slept with Stefan, Lestat, and Edward. Edward slept with Elena and Bella. And Elena slept with Bob. Plus Katherine slept with Cas. You all need to make a line in front of the clinic.

Damon: *Coughs*You forgot that Chi slept with me too *Coughs*

*Punches him* Bastard. Besides I've already been checked out.

Alice: Same here.

Pam: I need to be checked out.

Katherine: Fuck all of you cause I'm already dead.

…

Broadway: Don't worry Stefan, you still have a fan in me. *hugs Stefan*

Stefan: Thanks.

Broadway: Katherine, even in pregnancy you still rock.

Katherine: I want this runt out of me!

Castiel: SMITE HER AGAIN!

Katherine: *Falls over in pain*

Castiel: Yay.

Broadway: Here's some baby formula, souls, and blood so you can feed the babies accordingly. Can I be one of the Bamon babies godmothers? I'll even settle for Bob's kid.

Bonnie: Sure.

Broadway: Anyway, VD was awesome. *SPOILER ALERT BELOW*

Tyler is now a werewolf and a guy I'm guessing to be Klaus has kidnapped Elena. Katherine was put in the tomb by Damon and there was another witch in town who helped Bonnie. And that's it for now so bye!

Yay. I seen it last night. So good. Maybe I kinda like the Jeremy and Bonnie a bit, he's much better than season 1 to me.

Broadway: BTW I love Kevin Hart, he is hilarious especially his jokes about his kids and being short and trying to be gangsta.

He's too awesome for words. I also love Katt Williams and I'm a Dane Cook girl.

Tootoughtummy: Sorry for my absentness. I've been busy. Alright first off...HIP HIP HOORAY! 1000 reviews! Happy belated Charity! *Throws confetti everywhere* Have some cake and celebrate some more! *Hands cake*

Thanks! Please clean this up.

Tootough: No prob. Samantha go clean up the confetti. If you don't I'm chopping off your arms, legs, and male appendage.

Sam: …Fine. *Grabs a broom and dustpan*

Tootough: Deany I love you man. *Hugs* I definitely think you're brother of the year. Compared to Stefan and Damon you're brother of the century too.

So true.

Stefan: I even admit it.

Dean: I can see.

Tootough: Damon: *Sighs* Damon, you're gay. Face it. You want Eric. It's okay. Nobody will judge you...well except you brother...and probably Bonnie...and maybe some other folks too…but then who cares? You will get it off your chest and move on with your vampire life.

Damon: For one. It was just a kiss. He not my type. He doesn't have tits, I was trying to get out of a weird situation…

By creating a weirder one.

Damon: Shut up. But I'm not gay, so don't worry about me.

Tootough: Bonnie! Congrats on the babies! A prize for a job well done...all cakes and cookies you want! *Hands her a giant basket* If you need more let me know! *Hugs*

Bonnie: Okay, I think that's going to be soon.

Tootough: Elena: You get nothing. You suck. Nuff said.

Elena: Ah! What did I do to you?

Tootough: Stefanie! (Sorry couldn't resist) I'm glad you like Tara. It's a GIANT upgrade from Skank-nasty-can't-keep-her-legs-closed-to-save-her-life.

Elena: THE HELL! I can close my legs!

Tootough: Yeah right.

Elena: …I FUCKING HATE YOU!

Tootough: Gir I need a hug again. Bring on the hurt.

Gir: *Gives Tootough a big tight hug* Yay!

Tootough: Okay! Oh and Charity? Is Bob still here? That's all. Tootoughtummy out! Oh and I'm thinking about changing my name. Any suggestions?

Super Cookies?

Tootough: What?

Gir: Waffle Dancer.

Tootough: Maybe.

Damon: Power tough girl.

Tootough: …I'm leaving because those suck.

Bye.

Tootough: Have fun.

Okay. *Presses a button that plays music* It's your time Sam.

Sam: How do you do  
I see you've met my faithful handyman  
He's just a little brought down because  
When you knocked  
He thought you were the candyman  
Don't get strung out by the way I look  
Don't judge a book by it's cover  
I'm not much of a man by the light of day  
But by night I'm one hell of a lover  
I'm just a sweet transvestite  
From Transexual, Transylvania

Let me show you around, maybe play you a sound  
You look like you're both pretty groovy  
Or if you want something visual  
That's not too abysmal  
We could take in an old Steeve Reeves movie

Stefan: I'm glad we caught you at home  
Could we use your phone?  
We're both in a bit of a hurry

Elena: Right!

Stefan: We'll just say where we are  
Then go back to the car  
We don't want to be any worry

Sam: Well you got caught with a flat  
Well how 'bout that  
Well babies don't you panic  
By the light of the night  
It'll all seem alright  
I'll get you a Satanic mechanic  
I'm just a sweet transvestite  
From Transexual, Transylvania  
Why don't you stay for the night

Edward: Night!

Sam: Or maybe a bite!

Katherine: Bite!

Sam: I could show you my favorite obsession  
I've been making a man  
With blonde hair and a tan  
And he's good for relieving my tension  
I'm just a sweet transvestite  
From Transexual, Transylvania  
Hit it! Hit it!  
I'm just a sweet transvestite

Everyone: Sweet Transvestite!

Sam: From Transexual.

Everyone: Transylvania.

Sam: So come up to the lab  
And see what's on the slab  
I see you shiver with antici...pation  
But maybe the rain  
Isn't really to blame  
So I'll remove the cause  
But not the symptom

Alright. I hope everyone has a good Halloween! Cause I know I will! I have to thank FutureActressKS, BroadwayAngelLyric, Crowley's Bitch 13, LoveHurts1996, LeLelurvsGlee, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Rogue Assasin, Breakfastclub85, BeatrixMeyfeir, xXspoiiledheartXx, and tootoughtummy for reviews. Peace!

Tara: Love!

Alice: And Happy Halloween!

See you later guys! *Blows a kiss*

Damon: I'M NOT GAY!

Everyone: WE KNOW!


	72. Another lazy day

Shows they can't do together!

Another lazy day!

Damon: You're kidding me right?

Nope.

Katherine: I fucking hate you.

I want to sing to the public!

Damon: Do it yourself.

…*Evil smirk*

Damon: *Freezes up* Fine.

Stefan: What do you have against him?

You'll know soon enough.

Damon: *Twitch* Let's get this thing over with.

Okay!

Mail dude: Message!

Fuck.

Mail dude: Message for ya.

I will shits brick if…

Mail dude: No, no, you're not having a baby.

Thank god.

Damon: Kudos for you. *Claps*

Bite me, bastard.

Damon: Bring it on midget!

*Opens a book and smirks* I never knew I had a fear. Me being a bad boy and all I didn't think that I would be scared…

Damon: *Throws a book at my head*

Ow!

Mail dude: You going to take it or what? *Hands me a package*

*Takes the package*

Damon: I bet it's a bomb.

Elena: You can't say bomb!

Stefan: You can't say bomb in an airport.

Damon: You can't say that you want to kill the president too…

*Windows get kicked in*

FBI man 1: Who said that?

Everyone: *Points to Edward*

Edward: That's fucked up.

FBI man 2: *Grabs Edward and hisses* YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

Edward: DAMN YOU ALL!

Damon: Bye, bye sparkles McGee!

He'll be back.

Lestat: Yep.

Eric: *Shrugs*

xXspoiiledheartXx: *Bats eyes* Damon, No im not the one trying to kill yu im yur little cat eared girl remember.

Damon: Oh, it seems like many fangirls are turning on me.

Spoiiled: I would never!

Damon: Why don't you take a lesson from her Chi?

I'm Dean's fangirl.

Dean: Thanks.

Damon: *Looks Dean up and down* He's gay fairy, who has a brother complex.

He snapped on his brother! It was so hot! No offend Sam.

Sam: …None…taken?

Damon: So how is it like being a soulless bitch Sam?

Dean: You should know that yourself Damon.

Damon: *Twitch*

Spoiiled: …You guys need a chill pill or something?

Damon: I want he to fall down a cliff, hitting every rock as he falls.

Dean: Stefan get you dog before he gets another girl pregnant.

Damon: THAT'S IT! *Tackles Dean*

Everyone: *Sighs*

Alice: So what happened to the song? It fit Katherine to a tee.

Katherine: Burn in hell.

Alice: As long as you come with me bitch.

Why is everyone in a fighting mood!

Eric: Because it's raining here.

…

Edward: *Limps back* Please die. Everyone of you….die now.

Spoiiled: You came back to early.

Edward: *Grunts* You again.

Spoiiled: *Smiles* Just for you.

Edward: …

Spoiiled: Edward, you scared bitch.

Edward: Devil.

Spoiiled: *Evil laugh*

Edward: …I'm leaving. *Runs away*

Spoiiled: HEY STEFAN!

Stefan: Hey, has life been good to you?

Spoiiled: *Shrugs* Could be better. Bye!

Bye!

Hannah: Chi. Crap, you used Rocky Horror. I was going to say that we should put on a production, and I had everyone cast. *sad face* Well, I'll tell you anyway; Dean & I would be Brad and Janet. Damon would be Dr. Frank-N-Furter. Lestat would be Riff Raff, Katherine would be Magenta, Pam would be Columbia, Cas would be , Sam would be Rocky, Stefan would be Eddie, and you would be the criminologist/narrator. Everyone else would be a Transylvanian.

*Looks at everyone and smirks*

Sam: We already did that!

Were going to make it a bigger show. Maybe a two part! *Evil laugh*

Damon: *Shakes head* Why I have to be the Tranny?

Hannah: It fits you.

Damon: *Twitch* You guys are never going to let this go, are you?

Hannah: Nope.

Same here.

Damon: …I fucking hate you both. *Twitches*

Hannah: Cas since you won't admit your feeling for me, we'll just have to judge by how you react to this. *kisses*

Castiel: ….See nothing….*Falls over blushing*

Dean: *Twitch* Not…happy…here!

Sam: *Shakes head*

Hannah: Sam? If you gave Dean herpes and Dean & I...oh fuck.

Sam: I DON'T HAVE HERPES!

Hannah: …Take a test.

Sam: …

Hannah: Ew. So… Jeremy & Bonnie… Holy shit, are you two gonna hook up?

Bonnie & Jeremy: *Shrugs* Who knows?

I think you two make a cute couple!

Bonnie: I don't know about that.

Jeremy: *Laughs* Don't get me killed by the Bamon fans!

Elena: DELENA FOREVER!

…

Hannah: Okay? Stefan you give great hugs. *hugs*

Stefan: *Blushes* Thanks.

Tara: …Right.

Hannah: Time for another piggy back Puppy!

Sam: Fuck!

Hannah: *Jumps on Sam's back and pulls his hair* Let's ride!

…

Sam: *Runs around*

Damon: At least we know his good for something besides taking it from the back.

Dean: *Throws a rock at Damon* Bite me bastard!

Damon: I wasn't talking about you but I think about it…

*Sighs* So bitchy. And I thought I was moody on my period.

Damon & Dean: WHAT!

…

Hannah: Tyler I can't believe you are a werewolf now! Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?

Tyler: Tell them to shut the fuck up. I didn't come on here to watch a rejected version of Jerry Springer!

Damon & Dean: You want some too!

Tyler: I've been waiting forever of a good fight!

Alice: …Boys are weird.

Yep.

Damon: I am a man!

Katherine: *Laughs* I doubt that.

Damon: *Growls*

Hannah: Elena, how do you feel about the fact that you're little bro and BFF are probably going to have sex?

Elena: Well she isn't after Damon and Stefan anymore so that's great.

Caroline: Now you just have to worry about me!

Elena: *Twitch*

Bonnie: You can have Damon. Getting another girl pregnant…tsk…tsk. Power to you girl because they have big heads like their father.

Elena: *Nods*

Hannah: Dean I come to the realization that I don't like sharing you with other fan girls.

Dean: I can't promise that other fangirls won't come after me.

Hannah: *Holds a flamethrower* What's stopping you now?

Dean: O.O…okay?

Hannah: *Laughs* Bye guys! Be back soon!

Dean: O.O…a flamethrower.

FutureActressKS: Damon, I'm pregnant.

Damon: O.O

Bonnie: See.

Pam:*tackles FutureActress*

NO BLOOD ON THE CARPET.

Delivery guy: Eric's the father.

FutureActress: O.O NOOOOOO!

Crowley's Bitch 13: Damon*fake coughs the word gay* I love that u didn't go all lovey dovey on us with the whole Katherine thing!

Damon: *Twitch* Aren't you so nice.

Crowley's Bitch: *Smiles* Yep, I am.

Damon: ….

Crowley's Bitch: Now you miss Chi chan!

Ah oh!

Crowley's Bitch: Chi I didn't get your friend request *pouts*. Eric and Damon slash! We don't care if it sucks post it then revise it after! Or I'm bring a bat!

…O-oh…o-okay! Wait if you didn't get my friend request then who the hell did!

Crowley's Bitch: Probably some old dirty man. *Shrugs*

Damon: Took the words out of my mouth.

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley *hands Sam and Dean's mothers head* I know it's not mine but look*everyone watches as Sam disappears because his mom died b4 having him*

Crowley: Love the magic act but I was really…*Eyes flicker*…really hoping for your mother's head.

Take my step dad's!

Crowley: I don't take stupid people…*Looks at Damon*

Damon: YOU BASTARD!

Crowley: Could care less. Dean how is it with the monster hunting?

Dean: Go to hell.

Crowley: You should come. Me being the king and all.

…What happened! Where's Lulu!

Dean: Lulu? …Lucifer?

Yeah! I didn't get to see much of last season.

Dean: It's too much to go over.

Oh…

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley? *starts crying* Can I have a hug?*says with a sniffle*

Crowley: …Fine.

Crowley's Bitch: Yay. *Hugs him* Chi I'm emotional because of my period!

Oh?

Crowley's Bitch: Sam I have a feeling your not going to get much love this chapter so*hugs*

Sam: Thanks…*Looks around for a weapon*

Crowley's Bitch: *Twitch*

Sam: Sorry, reflex.

Crowley's Bitch: Elena *hugs*

Elena: Thanks!

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone I'm being really nice this chapter because it's Halloween weekend!

Lol, not anymore. I miss Halloween through. Good time…good times.

Crowley's Bitch: Stefan *hugs* I'm sorry u and Elena didn't get back together in the episode.

Stefan: It's alright. I think I will live.

Elena: *Twitch*

Crowley's Bitch: Who wants a hug? *hugs whoever wants one* Expect Edward.

Edward: …

Crowley's Bitch: John*hugs*

John: Thanks. At least someone appreciates me.

Crowley's Bitch: Damon I love you!

Damon: Thank you. Why don't you change you name back to …

Crowley: Do it and I'll come after you.

Damon: Fucking bastard.

Crowley: I've been called worst nor do I care.

Crowley's Bitch: *Watches Damon and Crowley argue for a second* Eric: backroom? You… me… now?

Eric: Don't have anything better to do.

Crowley's Bitch: *Smirks* Chi don't worry I'll use my powers to clean it up.

Okay…better. *Pouts*

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone bye! *Drags Eric to the backroom*

Tara: So when are you going to open the package?

I forgot about that. *Opens the package…then throws up*

Damon: *Takes it from my hand* What made you…*Throws up*

Lestat: *Looks over Damon's shoulder* Who's the naked old guy.

A-A I don't know but my eyes! MY EYES BEENS RAPED BY THE WRINKLES!

Katherine: Revenge is a bitch isn't it.

*Rolls around* MY EYES! MY VIRGIN EYES!

Damon: Pfft. That's a damn lie.

…

CookieWafflePowerToughGirl: As you can see. I changed my penname. Formally known as Tootoughtummy is now COOKIEWAFFLEPOWERTOUGHGIRL!

Damon: I was kidding.

I wasn't.

Lestat: That's the sad part.

Sssshhh!

CookieWaffle: I have a question for everyone. Why the hell do babies stare at you like you have something on your face? The one I'm watching is eyeballing me weird. I think she's plotting to kill me...O.o

Can't babies look into your soul? I wouldn't fall asleep anywhere by her. Babies are evil.

Alice: *Sighs* Don't listen to her. Maybe she's trying to keep your picture in her memeorys.

*Whispers* Go with the first one! Or she just wants to eat you.

Katherine: I hope she does.

…

CookieWaffle: Enough time for questions and comments! Sammy, That's right you better clean when I say so bitch.

Sam: *Growls*

CookieWaffle: Deany, since you are brother of the year/century here's a trophy! *Hands him a big trophy* Congrats! *Hugs* How ya feel?

Dean: Awesome.

Damon: That should be mine! I'm the brother who doesn't…

Dean: *Hits him in the head with the trophy* Bring it, closet cases!

Why don't you screw each other already!

Dean: Not my type. Believe me.

Damon: *Flicks him off*

CookieWaffle: Damon: If you were gayyyyy! That would be okay! I mean cuz hey! I like you anyways! Because you see, if it were meeee! I would feel free to say that I was gay! But I'm not gay! Be cool Damon and don't say I'M NOT GAY cuz we know you are. I know you listen to Justin Bieber. And that's as gay as it gets.

Damon: Just because I listen to Lady Gaga that doesn't mean I listen to that little lesbian girl!

He's a girl. We've been through this already!

Damon: Why should I care?

CookieWaffle: Caroline! I looovvveee you! *Giant hug* You're my favorite vamp!

Caroline: Thank you. *Hugs back* It's nice.

Elena: Stop plotting on Stefan! He's mines!

Alice: Thought you were after Damon?

Elena: …

Katherine: I say kill them both and get them out of my misery.

CookieWaffle: Elena, I FUCKING HATE YOU TOO! It should've been you dying instead of Katherine. She's amazing. You are a low life bitch. Eat dirt.

Katherine: They can't get rid of me that easily. Bastards!

Elena: …

CookieWaffle: Hello Lady Katherine. What can I do for you today? Shall I go scouting boys for you? Kill Elena? I'll do anything except harm Castiel and the baby. Oh and can I be the baby's aunt?

Katherine: Well since you took my first choice away then find more boys. Ichigo ran out and never looked back. I see why that little piece of shit likes Japanese boys.

Haha. Very funny.

Katherine: Kill Chi too. She's annoying, whiny, and a big eyesore.

…

CookieWaffle: Bob: I would offer you Sam's soul but le gasp...uh its yucky. Yeah so here's my teacher's. I have enough teachers' souls for you.

Bob: Yeah!

CookieWaffle: Oh Beatrix! I have a surprise from you! I put potion in your cup (by accident it was supposed to be for Dean but whatever) uh yeah you're pregnant...with Sam's baby. Sorry. Please don't kill me! If you do I can't update GST! I love you! CWPTG OUT!

…S-Sam.

Sam: Fuck!

I feel very sorry for you.

Damon: Severs you right.

Sam: …

BeatrixMayfeir: Hey Chi *kisses you breathless*!

*Blushes*

BeatrixMayfeir: See, that's fair! Damon and Rogue make me blush and I make you blush! I love when you blush! Oh I have a present for you *hands a remote with a big red button*!

What's this?

Beatrix: Look *points to a big screen that shows Chi's school* press the button! *Chi pushes the button and... KABOOM* bye-bye school! Your wish is my command Chi! All you have to do is ask and then come in the backroom with me *takes you there*!

Hours later.

Lestat: …

Beatrix: Oh Cas your little girl is so adorable! Make her smite Kat again, please! And can I be her stepmom?

Castiel: Smite her!

Katherine: *Falls to the floor in pains and flicks him off* She…has to be…out of me…sooner…or…later.

Castiel: But I'll have so much fun until then. *Smirks*

Beatrix: By the way I think we all should make a pregnancy test! You too Chi *hands a kit*! Now I'm going to take DNA samples so if I'm pregnant I could make tests for the paternity! Cas open your mouth *rubs a plastic stick with a pad in his mouth* Stefan, Damon and Eric do it for me *hands sticks* Dean and John you too! And Rogue hon come here *takes a sample from her too* just for safety! Did I forget someone? And now I'll take bets! Who's the daddy?

Sam: *Trys to look innocent* All hells is going to break loose if she finds out.

Beatrix: This is so cool we are all becoming such a big family! I'm so happy *hits Sam repeatedly with a bat* now I'm even happier!

CookieWaffle: *Trys to look innocent*

Beatrix: I loved the Rocky Horror Picture Show, by the way and Chi you should really bring Shinichi so I can cut all his damn tails! The bastard messed up with Damon so he has to pay!

Damon: He probably in the book.

Oh. I got to check it out.

Beatrix: Hey I have a question for Damon and Stefan: in the last episodes you two have been touching each other a lot, I mean all the freaking time! Want to share something? But maybe it was just me and the fact that I had a really cute dream where Stefan and Eric fight for Damon's love! Ok I think I've talked too much!

Stefan: I rather die a very horrid death by the devil herself…Rogue…then ever fight for that bastard's…whatever he has in his chest cause I know it ain't a heart.

Damon: *Throws a book at his head* I'll help with that death thing of yours bastard.

Beatrix: Bye everyone and congrats and chocolate to all soon-to-be-mom! A quick suggest for LoveHurts: Aidan for a boy and Kally for a girl, cute and simple where my name is loooooong and complex, bye - Beatrix.

Bye and I hope you have a good…

Sam: *Covers my mouths* Ignorance is bliss!

MinaFTW: Okay first of all sorry I didn't review last chapter, I was busy Chi.

It's okay.

Mina: Anyways Kat I love you and your epicenes by telling Elena off.

Katherine: I'm not afraid to say anything! Like Castiel can burn in hell and when I give birth to this wrenched thing I'm going to use it to beat you with!

We might need to call CPS on her ass huh?

Alice: *Neverous laugh*

Mina: Bonnie: I'll make Love pay for hitting you. I warned you crazy fan girls, lay a hand on Bonnie and flame throwers the shit out of Lovehurts, but then heals her so the babies won't die… I'm not heartless

Elena: Li-

Mina: Say it and I'll take your head and use it as a mop!

Elena: *smiles nervously*

Mina: Bonnie I'm so proud of you, you do love Bamon and I'm sorry but I'm taking Adrian back! He's mine!

Bonnie: What? No!

Mina: Takes Adrian and marries him! Sorry! But we are meant to be together.*flips her long hair*

Adrian: Well you are hot

Mina: Thanks babe.

Damon: YES he's gone!

Bonnie: What about the kids?

Damon: I'm still here for them.

Bonnie: Gets emotional and goes in Damon's arms to cry

Damon: mouths thank you Mina

What...?

Mina: SShhh mouths *operation Bamon complete*

Damon: …

Bonnie: …

Okay Damon look there's no need to freak out I mean…

Eric: *Holds out his arms* Come here my pet.

Damon: *Starts walking over to Eric but grabs Dean's trophy and throws it at him* KISS MY UNDEAD ASS! *Flicks him off*

*Whispers to Alice* Do you have that button?

Alice: Yep. *Hands it to me*

Let's see what he's really feeling! *Walks over to Damon and smiles*

Damon: *Pops me in the head*

OW!

Damon: You're up to something.

*Places the button on him* See! Did it hurt?

Damon: *Blush*

It works!

Damon: *Blushes deeper* Stefan.

…WHAT!

Stefan: *Jaw drops*

Damon: I kept it in my chest for so long but I…I…I

Stefan: *Runs away*

Damon: *Runs after him*

Alice: …What just happened?

That's what I thinking.

FutureActress: O.O…The fuck did you did to him!

I guess Stefan is the one he truly loves? I don't know.

Damon: *tackles Stefan and pins him to the ground*

Tara: *Twitches*

Don't won't it! It's going to red tube! *Holds Camera*

Lestat: No fair!

Dean: And he talks shit about me!

Damon: Stefan what I really want to say is that….*Pulls a razor from behind his back* SHAVE YOUR EYEBROWS! THEY LOOK LIKE YORKIES ARE GROWING ON YOUR FACE! *Shaves his eyebrows*

Everyone: *Blinks a few times* WHAT!

Eric: It's better this way.

Talk about a waste of film…

Yaoi fangirl: *Takes the camera from my hands* I can make use of this!

Go ahead.

Yaoi Fangirl: GOLD!

…

FutureActress: Damon *cry* I still love you though.

Eric: and me.

FutureActress: I'm planning your destruction Eric. Also this is a little message: back off of Stefan *snaps his neck*

*music comes on*

Future: O.O

Eric: *singing* (just look up the lyrics of the song having my baby.)

Pam: You two make quite the couple.

FutureActress: Shut it!

Damon: *grabs Future* Now, now, there's enough of me to go around.

Bonnie: Who doesn't know that?

Elena: DELENA!

FutureActress: Never gonna happen sweetheart. *snatches Damon's leather jacket again*

Pam: You should stick with Eric.

FutureActress: Pam I love Damon, through thick and thin.

Eric: She's mine. *trys to pull Future away from Damon*

Damon: NO!*pulls Future back*

FutureActress: Ah! Stefan save me!

Stefan: …

Tara: *Laughs at Stefan*

Stefan: *Pouts* What's wrong?

Tara: He cut a little too much.

Stefan: *Touches his shaved eyebrows and growls*

Wow. Do you need a make up pencil to draw it back on?

Stefan: *Twitch*

FutureActress: I…need…saving…here!

RoseJean Sterling Salvatore: Yes! I knew Adrian was from VA! Adrian I got seven bottles of whiskey in my closet. You and Pam wanna come over?

Adrian: Sure why not, it's not like I have something else to do.

You just got married.

Adrian: But Pam…

…

Heart-Broken-In-Love: YAY IM PREGNANT!

Damon: I'm happy that it's not mines.

Heart-Broken: Hehe my friend just had her baby too! I don't know how to spell his name... I WANT A COOKIE!

*Hands her a basket of different cookies* Here!

Heart-Broken: Sorry for not reviewing when you updated first *twitches* Someone was trying to kill me. It really gets annoying!

I should know.

Damon: Stop doing stupid things and I'll stop, maybe, trying to kill you. The key word is maybe.

…

Heart-Broken: *throws knife which goes through Elenas head*

Everyone: O.o

Heart-Broken: *kisses Jeremy on cheek and gins*

Alice: So cute, when she puts the knife down.

Seth: *Twitch* Who am I going to lose to that bastard! Pfft.

Heart-Broken: ...I looked so preppy the other day...it was scary.

Stefan: You should see Damon attempting to dress like Lady Gaga…now that's scary.

Damon: I think I left some skin on your head.

Stefan: …

Heart-Broken: Seth, what's with you and twitching?

Seth: *Pouts* Nothing.

Jeremy: Stop being a sore loser.

Seth: Bite me!

Heart-Broken: Can't review much …. oh and one more thing! IT'S HALLOWEEN!

I hope your Halloween was good.

Damon: Mine's suck. Bastards keep questioning me about if I was serious about trick or treating for my age.

What you do?

Damon: I compelled their asses and got all there candy.

….

Heart-Broken: Hehe *kisses Jeremy and sits down next to him* Chi, would you take alcohol from me right now?

Okay. *Trys to take the bottle out of her hand* Um?

Heart-Broken: Pull harder.

*Pulls harder and flys back* Ow.

Damon: *Mubbles*

…*Jumps up*

Elena: Lucky.

*Covers mouth and blushes*

Damon: How you landed on my face!

Why was your face was so low!

Damon: Pervert.

Like you can talk!

Heart-Broken: Imma pm you again! *laughs*

Alright.

FutureActress: Touch me, and I'll break your hands Eric.

Eric: Whatever.

FutureActress: Edward! *drags him by the ear and throws him over a very big cliff.*

…

Katherine: I think you should beat Damon up.

FutureActress: :P I don't want to! *hits Eric on the head with a hammer*

Damon: *Laughs* That what you get bastard!

FutureActress: Damon, I absolutly adore you. *hug*

*music comes on*

I was feeling done in

couldn't win

i'd only ever kissed before

I felt there's no use getting into heavy sweating

it only leads to trouble and bad

fretting

now all I want to know is

how to go

I've tasted blood and I want more

Katherine and Caroline: More, more, more

cont of Future so to not confuse u: I'll put up no resistance

I want to stay the distance

I've got an itch to scratch

I need assistance

Toucha toucha toucha

touch me, I wanna be dirty. *kisses Damon*

thrill me chill me fullfill me

Damon: I got a song Stefan, what did you get?

Stefan: No babies for one.

Damon: Fuck you Stefan.

Stefan: *Rolls eyes*

LoveHurt1996: Hey what's up i'm finally back!

Edward:*cries* why must I suffer

LoveHurts: Not my fault you're a fag Edward *bombs Edward*

Hey question Why do you insist on blowing up Edward every show?

LoveHurts: I dunno. Just get bored sometimes I guess.

Alice: Haha welcome back girl how's pregnancy going for ya?

LoveHurts: It's really fucked up. I hate the really weird cravings.

Damon: Again. Not my fault.

LoveHurts: It sure is your fault Mr. I dunno how to use a condom!

Bonnie: So you're against Damon now?

LoveHurts: Actually, no even though you screwed me up I can't help but still love you.

Stefan: Oh god please do NOT make his giant ego bigger.

Damon: I always knew you couldn't resist me.

Stefan: Too late.

LoveHurts: I know right? Looks like I'm not the only messed up one here.

Elena: So you don't wanna kill Damon?

LoveHurts: you fucking kidding me? He's gunna pay once this is over.

Jeremy: Ooohh she's evil. I like her.

Edward: I don't.

LoveHurts *stakes Edward*

Katherine: I may hate you but who can hate anyone more then Edward?

LoveHurts: Thank you.

Tara: Thanks for getting Lestat off Stefan and Chi's back the other day

LoveHurts: Anytime. I need not to take a risk with Lestat.

No one wants to. Trust me.

LoveHurts: Agreed.

Bonnie: I miss Adrian. He was killed again

LoveHurts: Aww I'm so sorry. But I'm sure he'll be back. He always is

Hey did you go trick or treating?

LoveHurts: Totally!

Awesome!

LoveHurts: That reminds me *gives candy to everyone but Edward, Dr Phil and Damon*

Everyone: thanks

Edward, Dr Phil and Damon: hey!

LoveHurts: Like I give a shit.

Everyone: O.O

LoveHurts: I'd better go now.

Bye!

Elena: Bye

LoveHurts: Bye!

BroadwayAngelLyric: Rocky Horror Picture Show songs are awesomeeeeeeeeeeee! I'm glad you did them. The Pretty Reckless reminds e of a cross between Paramore, The Pretenders, and The Runaways. Especially since there's a chick lead singer. BTW I've threatened people just because they've seen Hayley Williams live and I haven't. -narrows eyes-

Haha! *Smiles* But she's so cool!

Broadway: *Twitch*

I-I'm just going to shut up now.

Broadway: Thank you, Chi for realizing the genius of Katt Williams. Its Pimpin Pimpin is the funniest thing to hit Comedy Central. I'd love it if you did a Nikita or a Futurama episode.

You have to love Bender. He's too cool!

Damon: …

Broadway: I notice that most of you didn't get checked out. Sam, take everyone one you did the deed with to the clinic with you now. Just nasty!

Take Damon!

Bonnie, Katherine, Elena, Tara, & Lestat: Yeah!

Damon: I'm not going!

Tara: I don't want to see all your Rugrats crawling everywhere!

*Nods*

Damon: *Stick his tongue out*

Broadway: Bob, here's a soul, it's Lestat's. I know it's perverted but its best I could on short notice. I'll do better next time but I have to feed the babies.

Bob: Fine. *eats it*

Broadway: Speaking of babies, here's some blood, formula, and souls.

Bonnie & Elena: Thanks.

Broadway: Anyway, Katherine, I have a feeling in my gut you'll be back on VD but until you do, Stefan, you are now my second favorite cast member.

Stefan: Okay.

Broadway: Mason, your moment's up. No one messes with Stefan and Damon and gets away with it. Hold on Zero, I need this for a minute. -takes Zero's bomb and blasts Mason's wolfy ass to the pits of hell-

…

Broadway: I'll get someone to clean up the mess.

That's all I ask.

Broadway: I realized that no one feeds the humans on this show so I installed a McDonald's in the backroom with a fully-equipped kitchen and staff. Enjoy! And they even serve Sookie's wacky fairy juice.

Yay!

Tara: Bout time!

Broadway: DAMON IS NOT GAY! Now that the rant is over, Damon, need any help in fatherhood? If so, I got a nanny. Watch out when you change a boy, they tend to

-squirt hits Damon in the face-

...squirt pee upwards.

Damon: …

Everyone: *Laughs*

Damon: I hate you all.

We know.

Damon: Then die, if you know then!

Broadway: Jack, how was your Halloween?

Jack: The police picked me up, saying that my costume wasn't child friendly?

Broadway: What you dress up as?

Jack: I was naked.

That's not a costume.

Jack: I know that now.

Broadway & me: …

Broadway: Next year, we're going Trick or Treating at bars and demanding booze instead of candy. But I'm up for getting wasted now. Bring Ke$ha! I'll bring the rum!

Jack: My kind of pal!

Broadway: Gir, Elena and Bill stole your waffles. Kill them.

Gir: *Eyes turn red* DIE! *Chases them with a butcher knife*

Broadway: Oh hush, Castiel, you should be glad to be Kat's angel bitch boy. After all, you could be like Sam, a loser no one likes.

Sam: Ouch!

Broadway: I gtg bye.

Bye.

Broadway: Oh, wait! Riley, I want to hang out with you one day, you're awesome.

Riley: I know. I'm a beast! Yeah!

Broadway: Bella and Edward, sing Stairway to Heaven by Led Zeppelin 6 times. On the 3rd time sing it backward and on the 6th, sing it in Russian.

Bella: I put my foot down and say, NEVER!

Bill: What she said.

Broadway: *Evil laugh* You dare disobey me?

Bella: *Gulps* Yeah.

Broadway: *Punches Bella in the throat and Bill in the nuts* I'm not done with you.

O.O

Broadway: And BTW what would happen if one of the dudes got pregnant? That would be hilarious and what's with the sudden baby boom, are the sheets in the backroom super-fertile or are the condoms super-thin? I gtg so byeeeeeeeeeeee!

Everyone: *Looks at Damon*

Damon: Pfft. No.

*Looks at Sam*

Sam: Don't curse me.

Rogue: *Rogue appears in a flash of fire*

Bill and Edward: *Strip and pull on pink Tutus and start dancing*

Rogue:*Smirks* Good doggies - just like Pavlov's dogs. Hey Honey *Rogue makes out with Charity and squishes their boobs together*

Jacob: Man I'd like to get between those.

Seth: Oh my god *Freezes* I'll be back... *sulks away*

Tara: What happened to him?

Jacob: Little kid came in his pants...

Rogue: Anyway... *Rogue pops pill with orange juice* Thank GOD for birth control! Man what's up with these Fangirls now they want to be preggo too... sad... Charity please tell me you aren't also having a little rugrat.

No! Dare god no!

Rogue: So Kat... How goes the pregnancy?

Katherine: *Speaking through clenched teeth while the baby kicks her* I. HATE. YOU!

Rogue: Feelings mutual hun. So people what's been happening?

If Damon get's another girl pregnant we're getting him neutered.

Damon: Fuck that!

*Folds arms* Try me Salvatore.

Stefan: That's kinda harsh.

Really uncle?

Stefan: I see your point.

Damon: Pussy!

Rogue: Eric you knocked up Future nice... FYI If I wanted a kid it would be yours cause our gene's together would produce and emperor to the Universe BWAHAHAHAHA.

…

Alice: *Nervous laugh* That will be one ass kid.

Rogue: Pam hon you're stunning as usual *Rogue makes out with Pam and gropes her ass - Damon joins and gropes them both* Hey you sexy hunk o junk *Rogue makes out with Damon*

Lestat: So boring here. Let's go to the backroom Stefan! Chi!

Tara: Back off.

Rogue: Yeah some fan chick said we need to line up outside a clinic well I've only screwed the vamps and their dead so they don't get any STD's... but for some weird reason Damon is super virile.

Damon: …It's her fault! *Points to me*

What! I didn't do anything!

Damon: You're just the easiest one to blame.

…

Rogue: If a guy were to get preggo on this show it would so be Sam - he's like halfway chick... So Sam - what happened to your soul? I saw the next ep promo and Cas dug into you and found out it was gone...

Sam: Crowley left it, that bastard.

Crowley: It was fun too.

*Random Bamon baby starts crying*

Bonnie: Aw hell I just put them down *pouts*

Damon: Let me go... impart my awesomeness to them.

Pam: I haven't seen them yet I'll join you

Bonnie: *Throws Pam across the room* I don't ant you near Damon so I sure as hell don't want you near my kids!

Pam: *Smirking* Well I am their step mom *Pam flashes engagement ring on her wedding finger and disappears behind Damon to the children's room*

Elena, Bonnie, Love and Future: NOoooooooooooooooooooooo!

Finally he'll stop sneaking into my bed!

Lestat: What!

Um nothing... *Pulls at shirt* It's kinda hot in here...

Rogue: Hey Caroline *Rogue makes out with Caroline* you're super cool and super hot now that you're a vamp - so you and Tyler Lockwood... you do realize he's going to go bad.

Caroline: Bad boys are hot…

Rogue: Until they die.

Tyler: Ouch.

Rogue: Adrian - what the fuck are you doing top side? Back in hell boy *Rogue shoots Adrian in the head*

Bonnie: *Evil smirk*

Rogue: Hmmmm Bonnie and Jeremy... isn't that like incest... Bon-Bon you been spending way too much time with the Winchesters.

Bonnie: You mean Katherine. I see you trying to do things to him at night. I will never wake up in the middle of the night again.

…What she do?

Bonnie: Many things and he was snoring away.

Wow.

Rogue: Hey Cas *Rogue and Cas high five* How goes the impending fatherhood?

Castiel: It's great except for the bitch carrying my precious little girl *Castiel glares at Katherine* She didn't want to go for her ultra sound - so I transported us with my divine powers while the baby smited her.

Rogue: Soooo any names?

Castiel: I was thinking Anna...

Katherine: No fucking way! It's going to be Kat2

Elena's already Katv2

Elena: *Breast feeding Nina* I am not!

Well you want both the Salvatores...

Elena: I ended up with Bob and Edward- that should say a lot.

You got a point.

Katherine: Since all the little boys are either taken or sent away *Katherine stares at Charity* Come do your duty to the carrier of your kid.

…Are you trying to rape me?

Castiel: Shove it up your ass Katherine!

Katherine: I certainly hope you do! cause here comes the pregnancy hornyness! *Katherine pounces on Castiel and starts doing him in front of Dean*

Dean: Noooooooooooo! *Rogue knocks Dean out*

Rogue: Pussy

Sam: Dean! *Beatrix gets Sam in the face with a shovel*

Beatrix: Hey honey! *Rogue and Beatrix make out*

Rogue: *Putting on surgical gloves* Get Bella and meet me in the back. *Rogue drags Sam to the back room*

Bill and Edward: Think she'll notice if we take a break?

Rogue: *Demonic voice* I don't see you dancing! *Bill and Edward start twirling*

*After 2 hours and lots screaming Rogue and Beatrix come out covered in blood*

Beatrix and Rogue: Presenting Samantha and Belman!

*Sam walks out and has boobs, Bella comes out walking funny*

O.o What did you do?

Rogue: Gave them both a sex change!

Beatrix: And we didn't even need to buy parts! We just gave Bella Sam's part and Sam Bella's parts!

*Rogue pouts* Eric...

Eric: Yes, yes I know - you need me to service you - to the backroom little one *Eric slaps Rogue's ass*

13 hours later

Say Alice - where's that team Rogue Bikini?

Alice: Right here *Rips off clothes to reveal green and gold Team Rogue bikini*

Rogue: I LOVE it! *Rogue kisses Alice* Eric is waiting for you in the backroom...

Alice: YAY!

Hmmm now what... I know! *Rogue shoots Sebastian with love arrow and he falls for Stefan's ass and starts making our with it*

Stefan: Make him stop! I feel his tongue in places they shouldn't be!

Tara: *Trying to pull Sebastian off* Zero gimme your gun!

No! No one hurts Sebastian!

Lestat: But you let them hurt me!

*Nervous Laugh* …

Rogue: Edward for some reason in your little pedo demented mind - you think I actually care about anything you have to say - Let me clarify - I don't - get em boys *Rogue lets hell hounds tear Edward apart*

Edward: *screams*

Rogue: No my babies don't eat it - it's poisonous - just tear him apart - Bill I didn't say you could stop dancing... WTF - go tear him apart too.

…

Rogue: Oh yeah - Rose looks hot and she WILL be a love interest for Damon - now Damon has someone too :)

Yay!

Rogue: Soooo who won the fight for Damon... I am guessing Pam...

Katherine: I would have won but angel wings decided to drag me out!

I gave up that fight. So you're done fornicating?

Katherine: Almost... my little angel bitch is still under my skirt...

Everyone: O_o

Rogue: Hey John...

John: *Holding ears and singing the smurfs theme song*

Rogue: *slaps John*

John: What!

Rogue: Sam doesn't have a soul!

John: I can live with that

Rogue: Well I gave him exploratory sex change surgery - congrats its a girl.

John: *Holds chest and falls down.*

Dean: I don't like her

Sam: Me neither

Bob: *Shoots Sam and Dean* Yummy now I can eat Dean's soul too.

FutureActress: I'm back!

Eric: Oh great, the drama queen is back.

FutureActress: Gir… Hug?

Gir: Yay! *hugs her*

Pam: Yeah, Gir, squeeze her to death.

Damon: *twitch*

FutureActress: Caroline, does it bother you that your die hard fan of yours, Future, got knocked up by Eric?

Caroline: *Looks at Eric* Nope.

FutureActress: You can't get rid of me that easily Pam.

Pam: *flashes engagement ring in her face*

FutureActress: *grabs Damon and makes out with him*

You guys are just giving him a bigger head.

Stefan: *Nods*

He can barley fit through the door now!

Damon: Haha. Bitch.

Vie: Hey everyone!

Hi!

Vie: Chi what is up with Damon sticking his poker in everything that moves?

Damon: What is she, my master!

Vie: Damon you know I love you right? So...STOP being a manwhore and stick to one woman preferably a witch. And why can't you be more like Stefan: A one woman man!

Damon: Because he's a pussy and need to grow more balls. *Nods*

Vie: Heeeey Stef **Vie gives Stef a foxtini**

Stefan: Thanks.

Vie: Still waiting on my Stara or Tafan story. Speaking of them Hey Tara; the folks here treating you well?

Tara: I'll going to kill Lestat. Shovel to the head!

Vie: O-kay? Hey Bonnie; how's my favorite witch! Now u…

Bonnie: I doing good. Haven't killed anyone yet.

Vie: Sorry bout that my cell got cut off.

Bonnie: No problem.

Vie: Now back to what I was saying...Hi Bonnie! **Vie gives Bonnie a gift basket full if her favorite things including a highly potent spell book** Bonnie now that you've delivered we should totally go out to an All Male strip Club! You so need it and it would be awesome!

Bonnie: Yay! Damon watch the kids.

Damon: No, I wait time off.

Bonnie: *Uses powers on him*

Damon: Damn…it…fine!

Bonnie: *Stops using it* Yay!

Vie: Dean, Sam...I love you guys. **Vie tongue kisses both of them** Gotta go guys I'm at work.

Dean & Sam: We like her.

Lol. Well guys this show is over. I like to thank xXspoiiledheartXx, Breakfastclub85, FutureActressKS, Crowley's Bitch 13, CookieWafflePowerToughGirl, BeatrixMayfeir, MinaFTW, RoseJean Sterling Salvatore, Heart-Broken-In-Love, LoveHurts1996, BroadwayAngelLyric, Rogue Assasin, and Vie for reviews. Peace!

Alice: Love.

Katherine: And a naked high school boy!

…You just nasty.

Katherine: Shut up!

Black Star: I'M BACK!

Damon: Fuck!

Hey Damon, who do you really love.

Damon: That's easy…myself.

…

Stefan: I knew that already.

You're such a disappointment!

Damon: Hey Chi let's go find a cliff.

…I want to live, thank you. Well bye guys!

Damon: Next time characters is getting killed beside we are too last to do it ourselves.

…Night.


	73. A Tru Thanksgiving!

Shows they can't do together!

True Blood!

Eric: So you finally come to my neck of the woods.

Damon: *Gags*

Stefan: Why are at a strip club?

Eric: So Damon can show me his moves.

Damon: *Mouths out* Fuck you.

Eric: Would love you to.

Damon: *Rolls eyes*

Sookie: ERIC!

Eric: *Turns around*

Sookie: *Slaps Eric*

Eric: *Keeps a straight face* What do I owe this…pleasant visit?

Sookie: WHERE'S BILL!

Pam: So noisy.

Sookie: WHERE…IS… HE!

Eric: Shouldn't you be looking for Tara?

Sookie: Wha…wait? You know Tara?

Eric: Lafayette's memories are quite useful.

Sookie: Just tell me where he is?

Eric: …Fine. *Smirks and blows a kiss towards Damon*

Damon: *Dodges it* When will you die?

Eric: When I do, I plan to drag you with me.

Sookie: …Just take me to him.

Eric: Okay.

* * *

Bill: …The hell is this.

Stefan: Wait the hell am I here is the question.

Bill: *Looks down at Lorena and up at Sookie* I can explain!

Lorena: He's rocking my world Sookie.

Sookie: *Growls* YOU BASTARDS! FEAR MY FAIRY POWERS!

* * *

Soul: She didn't know about her powers yet.

I'm rushing things!

Damon: Fuck. Your back.

Soul: *Sighs* You're still here.

Let's get back to the story.

* * *

Damon & Stefan: *Dodges vampire chucks*

Eric: I never liked them anyways.

Tara: *Runs through the door and tries to caught her breath* W-what…are…you…doin... Do I even…want to know?

Stefan: Nope.

Sookie: *Huffs* Sev…vers… you right.

Franklin: *Sings* Darling.

Tara: Hey Sook. Could you use your fairy blast on Mr. clingy?

Sookie: Fairy magic powers ha! *blast yellow energy ball*

Vegeta: IT'S OVER 9000!

Damon: See these are reasons why we don't come down here. Some weird shit happens!

Stefan: *Looks at Tara* I really don't think it's all bad hear.

*Music plays*

I'm all out off love

I'm so lost without you…

Damon: *Destroys the speaker with a bat* That bastard was feeling on me!

Eric: *Smirks*

* * *

So the overall of the story is that Sookie killed Bill & Lorena with her fairy powers, Stefan falls for Tara, and Eric feels up on Damon?

Damon: *Pukes* Don't remind me about it.

You brought it on yourself. You know I should do a story that has you as Sookie…

Damon: I'll murder you in your sleep.

…What you think Stefan.

Stefan: Sure. Why not?

Damon: Fuck you Stefan!

Soul: Such bad language!

Damon: …Who the fuck let the penguin in here!

Soul: You guys use to bleep out the cuss words…

It was too much work and it was annoying.

Pam: So what's with the table? *Hugs on Damon's arm*

Damon: So worth the problem!

It's for Thanksgiving.

Soul: Aw you invited me. *Hugs me then gets hit in the head with a shoe* OW!

Damon: *evil grin* My hand slipped.

…

Alice: It's that time already?

Yep.

Katherine: I hate all of you and I hope you chock on all the food you eat…bitches.

Tara: Well isn't someone nice?

Elena: Pfft.

Bella: Yay!

I knew going to culinary school would do some good.

Damon: Too bad that it doesn't work on your grammar.

Bite me. Besides it's been what…four years since I've been in a English class.

Damon: Pfft. I've haven't been in one. I speak English just fine.

…

Damon: Shut up.

Bonnie: I got the turkey!

Yay!

Bill: I got true blood.

Eric: Boo.

Bill: Can you refrain from childish behaviors please?

Eric: I can not promise that.

Bill: …I hate you.

Sookie: I really hope there's no food fight. These things look to pretty to be thrown around.

*Nod*

Damon: Careful Sookie, you'll give her a bigger ego.

Like you can talk!

Sam: Well guys we should start our show because we didn't do one last week.

Sorry. It was midterm madness.

Dean: Sucks.

Big time.

Sam: It'll be okay.

Yeah…yeah I know.

Edward: I got a bear! *Drags in a huge mother bear*

Damon: Bring a blond next time!

…

Bonnie: Slut.

Damon: Hey. You liked it.

Elena: Let's just have fun tonight.

Soul: Yeah!

Darla: Yeah!

Katherine: WHERE IS ALL THESE FUCKING PEOPLE COMING FROM!

Castiel: Why do I like her again?

Because your submissive.

Damon: Like her.

Lestat: *Flicks off Damon* Don't you already have a girl? Stay away from mine! Bastard.

FutureActressKS: *Points to Eric* YOU!

Eric: What!

FutureActress: *hits him hard on the head with a crow bar*

Damon: Do it again!

FutureActress: *Turns to Damon* Damon I missed you! *kiss*

Pam: *Flips her off*

FutureActress: *Evil smirk*

Come on guys…not at the table.

Pam & FutureActress: *glare at each other*

Lestat can you help me please?

Lestat: Why don't you ask your whore?

It was just one time.

Damon: Two, three, four, you know I can keep counting right.

LEAVE ME ALONE!

Damon: *Laughs* It's fun when you're with someone else. *Looks at Tara*

Stefan: Back…the fuck off…you fuzz bag.

LoveHurts: Heyyy guys I'm back and I changed my username but you guys can still call me LoveHurts because I'm going to change it back.

Damon: We like this one better.

Edward: And the devil returns.

LoveHurts: Unfortunately, I have run out of creative ways to either kill or get you arrested

Edward: So I'm not in danger?

LoveHurts: Oh you are. This just wasn't my best idea.

Police dude: I'm looking for an Edward

You called in the police?

LoveHurts: Told them he was harassing me.

Edward: What? How?

LoveHurts: The fact that I keep killing you and you keep rearing your fucked up face!

Police dude: *takes Edward in handcuffs*

LoveHurts: Thank god. I swear if someone bails him out...

What?

LoveHurts: No one wants to hear me finish that sentence.

Everyone: O.O

Alice: This is why I admire your work

LoveHurts: That touches my heart Alice. Thank you

Alice: Anytime.

LoveHurts: Hey Bonnie when are you going to realize that Jeremy's crushing on you?

Bonnie: ...

Jeremy:*blushes*

Heart-Broken: Back off!

LoveHurts: Someone needed to tell her.

Elena: So did the baby start kicking yet?

LoveHurts: Yes. I think it's trying to kill me.

Katherine: I like it already

LoveHurts: Stay away from my kid you psychopath.

Katherine: Whatever bitch

LoveHurts: Don't make me fight you again. Remember who one last time? Speaking of do we have a tape of that?

Yup!

Katherine: You wanna die?

Nope!

LoveHurts: Excellent. That's something I'll always remember.

Damon: Hello love.

LoveHurts: Hey Damon!

Damon: So how have you been?

LoveHurts: Don't try it.

Damon: Try what?

LoveHurts: Try to get on my good side so that when this is all over I don't kill you.

Damon: I'm not. Is it that hard to believe i really care?

Everyone: Yes!

Damon: Oh why don't you all go burn in hell?

LoveHurts: No because telling people to burn in hell really shows you care.

Caroline: Haha Omg i officially want you as my new BFF!

LoveHurts: Really?

Caroline: Gotta love the way you think so, yeah.

LoveHurts: Yay you're my new BFF!

Bonnie & Elena: What about us?

LoveHurts: You guys became my BFFS a long time ago.

Bonnie & Elena: Yay!

Damon: Can I be your BFF?

LoveHurts: Okay here's what I'll do. Let's be friends then I'll see if your best friend material.

Damon: Good enough. Again sorry about the whole pregnancy thing.

LoveHurts: It's okay. But you're still gonna pay.

Damon: Fuck!

LoveHurts: Beatrix thank you sooo much for the baby names. Very much needed. I like Kally and Aidan too *hands Beatrix a cookie basket*

Mason: How come I never get special gifts from you.

Love hurts: Again... You're DEAD

Mason: I still have feelings

LoveHurts: Okay *hands cookie basket* Can you show me your abs now?

Mason:*takes off shirt*

LoveHurts: Keep it off.

I know right?

LoveHurts: Yup! Anyways if better go bye!

Oh so soon?

LoveHurts: Well, since your begging….

*Puppy dog eyes*

LoveHurts: Okay. Fine.

Yay!

Hannah: Ok so I hate that Rose chick already. If she hooks up with Damon, I'll hurl.

I bet you hate her even more now.

Damon: Good times.

Bonnie: I bet you would screw a dog.

Damon: A werewolf yes, a dog no. I need something that looks human.

…

Hannah: Cas, so you love me...this is an interesting turn of events.

Castiel: *Blushes*

Katherine: Stay away! He's my bitch!

Castiel: …I hate you.

Katherine: But you always keep crawling back.

Castiel: …

Hannah: PIGGYBACK TIME PUPPY!

Sam: *Tries to run away but she jumps on his back*

Hannah: Giddy up puppy.

Sam: *Runs around*

Hannah: *Pulls on his hair* Stop!

Sam: *Stops* I really hate you.

Hannah: Never cared. Damon you made me cry when you told Elena you loved her.

Damon: …I don't remember.

Hannah: Don't play it off now.

Damon: …*Points to the sky* Look there's a flying cow.

Hannah: …Who would fall for that?

Ohmygod where! *Looks around*

Hannah: I think I spoken too soon.

Damon: Yep.

I don't see a cow no where!

Damon: *Slaps me in the head*

OW!

Soul: How do you deal with this?

I pretend I'm in a happy place.

Damon: Right?

Hannah: So…do you have the hots for Caroline, Tyler?

Tyler: Maybe.

Hannah: That's it.

Tyler: I'm not in tune with my feelings. I'll deal with it later.

Hannah: Puppy did you get tested yet?

Sam: *Twitch* Did you?

Hannah: *Twitch* Bastard. Katherine, Damon locked you in the tomb. HAHAHAHA.

Katherine: Your left tit!

…That's new.

Hannah: So Elena, the Originals are coming after you…damn, that sucks monkey balls.

Elena: Please don't remind me about it.

But you have to admit…he's hot.

Lestat: *Growls*

Hannah: Broadway, The Pretty Reckless rock!

Yay!

Hannah: Chi who is your favorite football team?

I'm not really a football fan but I like the tight pants.

Alice: *Laughs* Pervert.

Darla: So true.

I know.

Hannah: Bonnie I hope you get to know that other witch more.

Bonnie: I hope I do too. She looks as if she could teach me more magic.

Damon: I'll do her.

Bonnie: *Throws a book at him*

Hannah: Dean *Sits on lap and buries face in his neck* I love you.

Dean: *Blush*

Sam: *Twitch*

Castiel: I don't care anymore.

Hannah: I'm gonna stay here…in this same spot.

Dean: Go right ahead.

Beatrix: Oh FUCK! Sam! *Sam hides behind Dean*

Sam: *starts mumbling* Not my fault, not my fault, please don't hurt me!

Beatrix: *goes to Sam and... hugs him* We are so screwed!

Everyone: O.O!

Beatrix: I made the tests and we're going to have a little girl *sniffs*! Try to think about when she will be eighteen: long black hair like her mom, the Winchester's beautiful green eyes, long and sexy legs if she will be tall like you! What if she get my sexual appetites?

Sam: You're going to far ahead!

Beatrix: We are going to have to kill every boys and girls who come near her! We are so, so screwed *starts crying*! Sorry, hormones are a bitch!

Sam: I don't know if I should hug her or run.

Beatrix: COOKIE! Nice name by the way... but that's not gonna save you! You better find me a good doctor because I was already pregnant with two babies and you added a third one and I want a fucking cesarean cause I'm not going to push out three babies! And now go to that damn corner and start writing a new chapter of Gabriel if you want my forgiveness!

Sam: Who…I don't even want to know.

Damon: *Sighs* More baby drama!

Beatrix: Oh I brought some gifts for all the babies *hands them to the moms* cute dresses, stuffed animals and *takes a giant teddy bear and gives it to Dante* my nephew has the same name *smile*!

Bonnie & Elena: Aww!

Damon: Pfft.

Beatrix: Cas don't you even dare to call the baby girl Anna! That bitch screwed Dean on the backsit of the Impala! Call her Deana!

Castiel: …But I like…

Beatrix: NO!

Castiel: …

Beatrix: Ohi Rogue *jumps on Rogue and makes out* congratulations! You're going to be a mom of a cute baby boy! Can we call him Dimitri since Chi didn't use it? Oh and the dad of the other baby boy is Cas! Remember when you tried to teach him how to make Kat his bitch with my help? Someone replaced my potion for birth control with an aphrodisiac and indeed I was a bit too horny that time! Thanks god Chi didn't knock me up too or they would be four!

…

Damon: And you call me a whore. So you got a little wennier hidden under that dress.

I'm all girl, I didn't know I can get people pregnant! *Looks at Damon* Don't tempt me.

Damon: *Pinches my cheek* Like you could do anything.

Lestat: *Snatches me away* This is the reason why I like Stefan better.

Tara: *Pulls out a sword* I'm ready for ya now!

Soul, Stefan, Damon, & Me: Women with weapons are hot.

Katherine: *Holds up a knife* Come here Chi.

I want to live!

Black Star: I'm back!

Edward: Crap! Your worst then me.

Black Star: No one can kill God!

Beatrix: I'm sorry Dean, didn't plan to get both your boys! But since I'm a little bored I'll try this new potion *throws a couple of bottle to Dean and Damon*

Dean: Ehi bad vamp, want to show me what you can do with Pam's toys?

Damon: Sure thing little bitch, I want to hear you beg for more!

*John grabs his chest and faints*

*Chocks*

Lestat: Severs that bastard right.

Beatrix: Ehi Pam I've got ice cream and blood, let's go watch the show! Chi you coming? I've got chocolate too and bring the camera! Bye everyone we have a show to attend!

Yay! Chocolate. *Runs to the backroom*

MinaFTW: Where's Chi?

Stefan: Having fun with chocolate and a camera.

Mina: Rogue would you stop hurting my hubby Adrian?

Rogue: Nope.

…At least she's honest.

Mina: *Sighs* And Bonnie and Damon I have signed you up for parental counseling along with Elena and Edward.

Edward: Yes I'm included.

Damon: *Twitch*

Bonnie & Elena: Why me?

Mina: Only because I want Elena to stay the fuck away from Bamon.

Damon: …

Pam: Pfft.

Mina: Oh and unjust a heads up Damon and Bonnie, the test came back positive for Elena having gonorrhea.

Elena: That was confidential!

Mina: Whoops, well now that Stefan won't be doing you any time soon, Hey Stefan, let's go out on a date.

Tara: He's with me.

Mina: Damon honey have fun with Bonnie and use Edward to distract the guy with his sparkliness if you get bored.

Bonnie: I don't mess with married men.

Damon: *Shrugs*

Mina: OH and Pam, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I can't believe Damon is engaged! It's just not right!

Damon: For now. I don't know how long it will last.

Pam: *Shrugs* We get it in while we can.

Heart-Broken-In-Love: *Twitch* Damon, I'm very happy the babies not yours too. *kicks*

Damon: Hey.

Heart-Broken: *Hugs chi* COOOKIES!

Everyone: Huh?

Heart-Broken: *Smiles* Hehe one of my new obsessions is cookies, gossip girl, and the word fucker *nods*

Jeremy: That's my girl!

Seth: Die.

Heart-Broken: Gah! I hate school. I should kill al the teachers...My reading teacher signed me up for this book crap so now I have to read 9 books in 4 days... Really want to kill those teachers...

Crowley: *Smirks* So much fun.

Heart-Broken: *Starts throwing knives everywhere* Don't you just looove knives! I do! *throws butcher knife at Edward*

Edward: *Runs then his head is chopped off*

Everyone: O.O

Heart-Broken: Who else's head can I chop off?

Damon: *Points at Eric*

Stefan: *Points at Lestat*

Katherine: *Points to everyone*

Heart-Broken: It's cute even when I do have the knife!

Alice: *Laughs*

*Shakes head*

Soul: O.O

Heart-Broken: Stefan, Damon dressing up as lady gaga O.o that sounds very scary. Especially with what she wears...

Damon should wear the meat binki!

Damon: Try it and I'll kill you.

Eric: I'll help you with that.

Damon: …

Heart-Broken: I'm in a good mood sooo... *hugs everyone except Elena and Edward*

Elena: Pfft. I didn't even want a hug.

Edward: Never from you, you foul beast from hell.

Heart-Broken: *Smiles* Wow you heal fast. *Grabs and turns on a chain saw*

O.o

Edward: *Runs*

Heart-Broken: What a pussy. Jeremy and Seth you two just hate each other don't you?

Seth & Jeremy: Yes. A lot.

Heart-Broken: Nice Damon, I bought 25 dollars worth of candy, much more than I would have gotten for going trick or treating :D

Cool. I went to a place call the hill, people bring kids and trick or treat. It was crowded. That's all I have to say about that.

Heart-Broken: Jack, Can I have some of your alcohol?

Jack: …Aren't you Preggers?

Heart-Broken: Pfft, no fun. Immma go nowz I need to go to sleepz I have school in an hour...shit...

School sucks!

Stefan: It's okay.

Damon: Never needed it.

CookieWafflePowerToughGirl: Howdy! First off I have to say THANK YOU BEATRIX FOR NOT KILLING ME! Or Sam for that matter but anyways...I'll find the bestest doctor I can! And I'm getting right on to the chapter! It's going to be the greatest forgiveness chapter ever! Right in the corner as I type...

Sam: …Why her?

Cookies: Okay now time for the good stuff(And semi good stuff.) John, Uh...I don't how to say this but uh...I'm kinda pregnant too...heh...whoops.

John: …Me? How many?

Dean: Are…you blushing dad?

John: I'm not!

Cookie: Sam, Be a good daddy to Beatrix's baby! Or else.

Sam: *Sighs* I will. Unless she kills me or something like that.

Cookie: Damon, Fine you're not gay. Happy now Princess?

Damon: FUCK YOU!

Me & Stefan: *Covers mouth to keep from laughing*

Damon: Don't ask for my help bastards!

Cookie: Stefan, if it makes you feel better, I consider you to be a good brother. Better than Sam...

Stefan: Thanks. I really wish that I could trade brothers then I realize he would have done me up the butt. So I'm happy for the little things.

Dean: *Flips off Stefan*

Cookie: Elena, *Sighs* What to do with you today? Hm…how about playing Tic Tac Toe and show off my mad skills?

Elena: Awesome, I'll get the paper!

Cookie: Okay! Caroline, Still amazing. *Big hug* Well gotta go school calls! Peace!

Oh come on a stay for the party!

Cookie: Alright! Party!

Soul: Hey. Where's Darla?

*Looks around then shrugs*

Soul: I'll go look for her.

Rogue Assasin: Hmmm That message dude is becoming a problem...

Message Dude: I have something for Pamela Salvatore...

Pam: O.o

Rogue: *Rogue shoots the message dude* He brings too much bad news - if one more person falls pregnant I am fusing a condom onto Damon's dick.

Pam: *Pam picks up box and sighs in relief* It's a voucher for Victoria's secret for a minute I was worried it was a pregnancy report. Thanks Hon *Pam makes out with Damon*

Damon: I would never knock you up Pammy.

*Mumbles* Why don't you keep him away from me.

Eric: They making me nauseous - come here Chi a pet.

O.O *Shakes head*

Eric: I got a big lollipop for you

*Runs away* My mouth will be sore!

Eric: Come back here *Runs after Charity*

Lestat: Don't you dare touch her! *Runs after Eric*

Rogue: So what's up Peeps? Bon Bon how are the kids?

Bonnie: They've been doing good.

Pam: I think the kids have taken a shining to me *Pam smirks at Bonnie, Future, Elena and Love*

Dean: Well you got to hand it to her, he knocked you guys up and Pam's the one who gets him...

Bonnie, Elena, Future and Love: *Tackle Dean*

Dean: Some one save me!

Castiel:*Voice coming from under Katherine's skirt* I'm a little busy here num num num*

Katherine:*Eyes rolling to the back of her head* Oh yeah my angel bitch boy that's it!

Caroline: Future and Love shouldn't be beating up Dean - they're pregnant...

Alice: *Pulls out Future and Love* Calm down girls!

Crowley: You're grounded! Go back to hell!

Rogue and everyone: O_O

Rogue: But Dad!

Everyone: dad? O.o

Crowley: You made my pup bite Fagward and it's now dead!

Rogue: Oh chill out old man - you have plenty.

Crowley: Well skinner was special *sniff*

Rogue: Listen up old man you may be King of Hell but I'm way stronger than you are - I'm half angel after all I will get Divine on your ass.

Too much to absorb.

Caroline: *Eating popcorn* Can't decide what to watch - Rogue and Crowley or Elena and Bonnie beating up Dean - BTW you have something on the side of your mouth.

*Demonic Voice* ERIC!

Eric: Would you like more candy from my candy stick?

O.o

Sam: I hate you all.

Edward: Me too

Rogue: Shut the fuck up *Nukes Sam, Edward and Black star*

O.O I kinda like it when she's mad.

Pam: That's my girl!

Rogue: Damon I think Rose is ideal for you right now - let Bonnie go all Katherine on Jeremy and be a pedophile - Jeremy isn't even 18 yet and he's a junkie - great husband material right there Bonnie - you're doing well maybe you'll be pulling a Lindsey Lohan in a few years.

Sam: Ouch.

Rogue: *Glares at Sam*

Sam: *Closes his mouth*

Rogue: As for Elena - don't even waste your time - you and Stef are going to get killed cause of her - let the bitch die!

Alice: She got a point. A huge one.

Katherine: Like I care if they live. I would skin them alive if it wasn't for this evil ball of crap in my stomach!

Rogue: Damon - when you attacked Elijah it was awesome *Rogue throws bra at Damon*

Damon: Nice.

CAN SOMEONE SAVE ME PLEASE!

Eric: *Smirks*

Rogue: Caroline and Tyler - hmmm well you do get knocked up by him in the books... who knows maybe his wolfy sperm knocks up vamps...

Caroline: Fuck. I thought I could avoid the pregnant hype.

Bonnie: No one can.

Rogue: Beatrix hon I love you but I can't possibly be the mother of your kid *Rogue picks up skirt*

Seth and Jacob: NO PANTIES!

Rogue: See I have a pussy - it can't knock you up Beatrix hon.

Beatrix: but I had the tests done!

Rogue: They're wrong - the only way they could possibly even be close to me is if... * Rogue stares at Crowley* YOU DID IT! AGAIN!

Crowley: *Innocently* Did what?

Rogue: Don't play dumb with me! You've been copying my form and fucking unsuspecting characters and fangirls haven't you!

So that wasn't you last night Rogue?

Rogue: Nope

Or the night before...

Rogue: Hell no - I was sucking face with Eric - OMG It was Crowley!

Charity, Elena, Bonnie and Caroline: Oh Fuck! O.o

Rogue: You screwed Elena... as me!

Crowley: I was bored...

Rogue: Fuck this! *Rogue glows white and big wings appear behind her* told you I'd get Divine on your ass! *Rogue blasts Crowley with a Rainbow*

Damon: O.o - she gets weirder everyday

Tara: *Swinging whiskey from a bottle* You said it brother.

Rogue: So how many preggo people we dealing with? I can reverse time if you want to go back and use that condom if anyone is interested... except Bonnie, Katherine and Elena.

Katherine: Fuck you!

Castiel: Smite her *grins*

Katherine: *Falls down in pain*

Rogue: So Sam - how goes the emptiness - you know not having a soul and all - poor Beatrix - having to have your kid... Beatrix hon I have a potion that can change the paterninty of the dad - lets make it Eric!

Eric: How about I knock up the Chi a pet *Licks lips and blows kiss at Chi*

O.O

Damon: How about you die!

Lestat: YEAH!

Pam: Damon...

Damon: Yes cupcake *smiles*

Pam: Let's go play with Alice! *Pam and Damon grab Alice and take her to the back room.

Rogue: I am being overly random I know - my mind is just so tired! and blow drying while typing! So Bon I hear your kids really like Pam

Bonnie: At least she doesn't rub it in my face every ten seconds, now if it was Elena…

Elena: I would.

Pam: Edward - I like you I really do - your character had so much potential - Bella is the one we should kill! Get her boys! *Hell hounds attack Bella and rip off her clothes*

Edward: Thank you.

Bella: It's raping me! It's fucking raping me!

Rogue: Don't care - take down to hell boys you can do whatever you want to her - then burn her limb off while she screams - leave her soul here for Bob.

Bob: It looks rubbery. *Pokes it with a stick*

Rogue: Elena what do you think off Katherine giving you her blood?

Elena: Ew.

Katherine: My blood don't like you either bitch.

*Shakes head*

Rogue: Damon I can't believe you said Stefan is better than you - he was a ripper!

A ripper?

Rogue: Yeah - he tore people into pieces then fed of them - Damon was a little more civilized.

Tara: Shocking.

Rogue: Eric - lets go party *Eric and Rogue go into backroom and music is heard*

Stefan: I'm going to watch...shut up Damon.

Damon: Someone need to come out of the closet.

Wolverine: Me too

When did you get back?

Wolverine: I never left... I was hiding in your closet... watching you...

O.o

* * *

22 days later...

Lestat go shower you stink! *Everyone is cowering on the other end of the room away from Lestat*

Zero and Sebastian: *Wearing gas masks - shove Lestat in a rocket and send him to another planet*

Rogue: What's up peeps.

Alice: At least someone's happy *pouts angrily*

*Eric limps out*

Pam: What happening to you?

Eric: She over worked me - I don't think I can have sex again...

Alice: You just had to tire him out - di it occur to you that I wanted some!

Rogue: Chill Al - He'll be good in a few minutes - Bon Bon - give Eric that energy potion. Well I guess its time to go... but first...

*Rogue throws Charity in a chair and starts giving her a lap dance*

I'm crazy but you like it Loca Loca Loca

You like a little crazy Loca Loca Loca

I'm crazy but you like it Loca Loca Loca

You like a little crazy Loca Loca Loca

*Rogue makes out with charity and squeezes her butt*See you tonight.

*Semi passed out* So…hot.

Rogue: Hey Chi - Bring on Vegeta - he's awesome!

Damon: I hate that bastard! When will he die!

He's too awesome to die.

Damon: I don't even see why you are so likeable.

What's that suppose to mean?

Damon: *Grabs the back of my head and bring me closer*

I AM GONNA DIE!

Katherine: Shut up and take it like a man!

Damon: *Pushes me away* Stupid.

Pam! Did you see that! Save me from him!

Pam: *Shrugs*

No? I get no love! *Cries in the corner*

Pam: *Laughs* She's so cute to mess with.

FutureActress: Damon what did you think about my song from last chapter?

Damon: I thought it was cute.

Pam: Go away.

FutureActress: Eric go away.

Eric: Never.

FutureActress: *Growls at him then turns to me* Chi *kisses on the cheek* Love this story

*Blushes and smile* Thanks.

Melissa: HI GUYS! Itz Vampire with a secret, Look a waffle o.o it talks, and now Meg and Dia fanatic!

I love them.

Melissa: I AHEV MISSED U GUYS! BUT i'm lazeh, so yea :P If you didnt miss me well...GO FALL DOWN A WELL! WATCH ME DANCE *Dances* Heh heh, BYEZ

Edward: Good bye and fall down some stairs.

Melissa: Shut up Edward.

FutureActress: Damon I honestly love you...

Bonnie: *Folds arms* Still not worth it.

Pam: Back off.

FutureActress: That will never happen. *Skips around Pam*

Crowley's Bitch 13: Hi Chi!

Hi.

Crowley's Bitch: It's the mail guy everyone hide!*opens mail* AHHHHH! I'm pregnant with triplets and Sam, Dean and Crowley are the fathers!*faints*

Sam: Wow.

Damon: I'm just happy that it's not me.

Crowley: This is fun.

Crowley's Bitch: *starts crying* stupid hormones!

Bonnie: *Pats her back* It could have been worst. It could have been Damon's.

Damon: *Twitch*

Thought you were happy.

Damon: Shut up.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi help me! I have a demon child inside me and two Winchester children.

Alice help me find this book. *Hands her a piece of paper*

Alice: Oh kay!

Bonnie: …You're a witch.

Nope. That's your job. *Smiles*

Bonnie: *Twitch*

Crowley's Bitch: Chi sorry I didn't review earlier I don't get the email that said you updated:(

It's okay.

Crowley's Bitch: Last chapter Beatrix said: Hey I have a question for Damon and Stefan: in the last episodes you two have been touching each other a lot, I mean all the freaking time! Want to share something? I see It 2 they have been really close these past episodes.

Now that you mention that. So we really have a Salvacest here?

Dean: Not catchy as ours.

Damon: Shut up.

I don't even think they call it that…maybe.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi I really don't have much to say today...OH wait before I forget I just wanted to say that I found a song that reminds me of dean. It's called "Not Afraid" and it's by Eminem.

I've heard it before and I could picture him. This is some what random but when Carrie Underwood's Cowboy Casanova plays why do I think of Damon?

Katherine: Cause he's an asshole.

Damon: …What did I ever see in you.

Katherine: Tits. That's about it.

Everyone: bye!

xXspoiiledheartXx: Damon- aww would it make yu feel better if we go to the back and i just happen to follow yu back there but if yu get me pregnant i will hurt yu.

Damon: I'll be careful.

Bonnie: He's lying!

Spoiiled: Edward- its no use running i will find yu bitch

Edward: *Rolls eyes* Bring it on!

Spoiiled: Oh, I will. *Turns to Stefan* Stefan- Do yu want to be my best friend?

Stefan: Sure, why not.

FutureActress: Outside of the computer, I love to sing, and I want to dedicate this song to Damon.

I've been alone with you inside my mind

And in my dreams I've kissed your lips...a thousand times.

I sometimes see you stand outside my door.

Hello, is it me your looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. You're all I've wanted. And my arms are open wide.

And you know just want to say, and you know just what to do.

Let me start by saying...I love you, Damon.

Pam: *picks up a plate of mashed potatoes and throws it at her*

Everyone: O.o

FutureActress: *Wipes the potatoes off her face and flings it at Pam* FOOD FIGHT!

*Demon voice* MY ROOM!

Damon: *Covered with pudding* Give me a hug Chi.

Stay the hell away from me.

Alice: Wow did dodge all the food mess?

Eric: Hid under the table.

Tara: Got the right idea. *brushes off salad from her shirt*

Katherine:*Covered in blood*

…Not even gonna ask. *Sighs* So much for a Thanksgiving dinner.

Damon: Thanksgiving sucks. You have to be with family that you don't like.

Stefan: I'm still stuck with you.

Damon: Some of the food is bad and people you don't like have to be around you.

Trying to cheer me up?

Damon: You're reading to deep into these things kid.

~lights flicker~

Huh? What's going on here!

Katherine: How the hell should I know?

Alice: Something bad is about to happen.

Soul: Bye! *Runs out*

~Lights go out~

PARANORMAL ACTIVIETY…2.

Damon: I smell blood.

~lights come back on~

Oh my god!

Sam: They killed Edward.

Dean: *Boredly* You bastards.

*Evil laughter*

I'm scared. *Shakes*

Damon: *Sighs* Come here…*Gets pushed over*

Lestat: Come here to me.

-: BOOOOOOOO!

*Screams and jumps into Lestat's arms*

Damon: Mutherfocker!

~Lights go out again and a girl screams~

WHY?

Lestat: I'll protect you…

~lights come back on~

Lestat: *Has a sword sticking out of his head *

*Jumps out of his arms and screams*

Dean: SAM!

Sam: *Eyes had been cut out of his skull*

Elena: *Borely* Oh no Bella.

*Eyes tear up* Why is everyone dying now.

-: You ask too many questions.

*Freezes up*

Tara: Aw hell.

Soul: *Holding a microphone* Who will die next in this show? We want to thank FutureActressKS, HeartsBreakInLove/LoveHurts1996, Breakfastclub85, BeatrixMayfeir, MinaFTW, Heart-Broken-In-Love, CookieWafflePowerToughGirl, Rogue Assasin, Melissa, Crowley's Bitch 13, and xXspoiiledheartXx for reviews. Peace, love, and I'm getting the fuck out of here! *Runs*

-:Bye.

~Lights turn off and the room fills with screams and gun fire~

Darla: *Snaps fingers and sigh* So messy my young one.

~The lights turn back on and everyone is dead~

-: Hehe. I go for fun not strategy.

Darla: *Looks at Chi's dead body and smirk* I wanted to get rid of this bitch myself.

*Broken neck*

Darla: How you kill the vamps and the witch?

-: I banished Eric, Bonnie, and Pam to a different world, stuffed Vervain up Stefan's butt, stabbed Lestat and stuffed vervain in Damon's mouth. Katherine was already dead cause Alice poisoned her and Katherine somehow killed Alice.

Darla: *Smirks* Good. Jacob and Seth ain't worth mentioning but why spare Jeremy?

-: Why should I tell you?

Darla: You do good work…makes me want to show you the ropes of my witchcraft.

-: Hehe, awesome.

Darla: Who killed the cast? Find out on the next chapter!

-: I should have done this on Halloween.

Darla: Too late now.

Darla & -: Bye?

~Evil laugh~


	74. Were not deadwell at least most us!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

We're Alive?

Ow! Dying hurts.

Stefan: You didn't have anything rammed up your ass!

Damon: That wasn't a fist?

Stefan: *Stares at Damon* Fuck you.

Alice: *Sighs*

Bonnie: I don't like being away from the kids this long.

Damon: …

Bonnie: Oh shut up.

Lestat: My head hurts. Stefan come rub it.

Stefan: *Stares at him*…No.

Lestat: PLEEEEEEESSSSSEEEE! And rub my ass too.

Stefan: *Stares at him*…Hell no.

Lestat: *Puppy dog eyes*

Tara: *Hits Lestat in the back of the head* Back…off.

Black Star: Harsh dude.

Edward: I'm alive again!

Bella: *Frowns* Your like a shiny cockroach.

Edward: When did you become a bitch?

Bella: When I realized that I….

Katherine: BOOO! NO ONE CARES! START PULLING EACH OTHER'S HAIR ALREADY!

Still in a crappy mood huh Katherine?

Katherine: I still have room under this dress.

…So Jeremy how you been?

Jeremy: Could be better. Heart-Broken is craving a lot of chocolate.

Well it's not that bad…

Jeremy: They had to shut down the Willy Wonka factory.

Oh. Well it's not that bad…*Nervous laugh*

Damon: Why are we bickering! Let's find the bastard who killed us!

Dean: For once I agree with him. Let's fill that bastard with holes…

Damon: *Stares at him*

Dean: …Shut up. *Pulls out a shot gun*

Who done it?

Damon: I think I know who but we'll find out soon.

Okay.

Sam: …

What?

Sam: Aren't you going to see us in the Supernatural convention?

Pfft. I wish.

Dean: What's that's suppose to mean?

It cost too much. I'm not made off money. Besides this website doesn't pay me.

Fanfiction person: Why the hell should we?

*Nervous laugh* It's nothing!

Fanfiction person: *Glares at me* I'm watching you.

*Gulps*

Damon: *Laughs* Like a dog on a leash. You can bark but you can't do anything else.

*Twitch* Go bother Pam, your fiancé.

Damon: But it's so much fun messing with you.

Save me Pam!

Pam: *Looks at me and shrugs* Not a threat.

…*Sighs*

Bill: Why am I here?

Jack: Wow. I'm back. Well since I'm back can't I bother you love for some booze.

*Blinks a few times* You have a bottle in your hand.

Jack: *Looks over at his hand and gives a confused look* That's water love?

…It's says Jack Daniels on the bottle.

Jack: …Oh.

Stefan: *Laughs* Still spacey as ever huh?

Jack: *Looks around* Well my good lad, I know you come from Dead Zombieland…

Damon & Stefan: *Give an confused look* Dead Zombieland?

Jack: But my good sir I know that I'm on the planet earth and not in space…what kind of booze they sever on the Sun?

Wouldn't you be burnt?

Jack: *Shrugs and takes a drink* We don't know love, we don't know.

…Okay?

Damon: Let's do thing already. I've been gone too long enough and my fans are dying to hear from me.

Katherine: Good for you. *Twitch* Burn in hell! All of you!

Alice: Some get her a chocolate bar to shut her up!

xXspoiiledheartXx: *Holding a bag of popcorn*

Hi!

Spoiiled: Your back! Finally.

*Blush* Sorry.

Alice: Bite me!

Katherine: At least I have fangs and not pixie dust!

Alice: *Twitch*

Spoiiled: Well let's start because those two won't stop.

So true.

Spoiiled: Damon- Do not get me pregnant now go to the back NOW!

Damon: No way I'm getting another person pregnant.

Stefan: *Smirks* Chi threatened him.

Damon: Like that brat can do anything to me.

Huh?

Damon: *Hits me in the back of the head*

OW!

Damon: See. Weak.

*Looks up at Damon and smiles* But Damon.

(Lights flicker)

*Evil voice and eyes turn red* You dare get another girl pregnant on this show I will send you to a place worst then hell itself.

Stefan, Jeremy, Dean: Wow.

Damon: …

Sam: That was kinda hot. I think.

Spoiiled: Bwahahaha!

Damon: …

Spoiiled: Stefan- ok so wat should we do first best friend?

Stefan: Kill Lestat and dump the body somewhere.

Lestat: I'll always come to find you ho-ney!

Stefan: …*Throws up*

Eric: Go away Stefan and Damon's ass are mine.

Damon & Stefan: Fuck no.

Spoiiled: *Glares at Edward* Edward- Are we really gonna do this again?

Edward: Bring it on midget!

…

Edward: I'm watching you.

Spoiiled: *Rolls eyes* Right. Well peace out for now.

Bye!

Crowley's Bitch 13: *stares down at her dead body and recuses her*

Um…I'm alright.

Crowley's Bitch 13: *Demonic voice* GET ON THE GROUND SO I CAN SAVE YOU!

*Falls to the floor*

Everyone: …

Crowley's Bitch: Let's do this again. *stares down at Chi's dead body and recuses her*

*Eyes flicker* Thank you.

Crowley's Bitch: No problem.

Damon: …Okay?

Crowley's Bitch: Sam and Dean *Places hands on hip* Your kids keep trying to beat up Crowley's kid and are making me crave holy water!

Sam: Wait…I have a kid.

Crowley's Bitch: Duh.

Sam: Oh.

Crowley's Bitch: Dean will you please sing I'm not afraid by Eminem. If you do I'll let you name your kid.

Dean: *Holds up a hand* How many kids do I have?

Crowley's Bitch: Just do the song.

Dean: Fine. I don't know the song.

Sam: Just do one.

Dean: Hmmm…I'm not afraid to get laid, not get paid fo' days! EVERYBODY GO NIGHT, NIGHT! Whoo!

Everyone:…

Crowley's Bitch: The hell?

Random fan girl: THIS IS FOR YOU DEAN! *Raises up shirt and shows boobs*

*Faints and almost drowns my own blood*

Damon: *Twitch* Getting excited over boobs. I've seen better!

Pam: *Laughs* Honey, do I sense jealousy?

Damon: …Pfft. No. I just don't like idiocy. *Points at Jack*

Jack: *Looks around then sighs* …My clothes are off again, huh?

Damon: *Slaps forehead* See my point.

Oh. When's the wedding?

Pam: Soon.

Damon: You're not invited. Like I wanna see your face covered in tears and shit.

Stupid.

Crowley's Bitch: *says in demonic voice* GET ME CHOCOLATE NOW!

O.o?

Crowley's Bitch: *Blushes then starts crying* Stupid hormones!

Damon: …

Crowley's Bitch: Don't get smart.

Damon: My lips are sealed.

Crowley's Bitch: Alice! *gives grizzly bear* I realized I don't talk to you much and I wanted to make up for that cause your awesome!

Bear: *Stares at me*

I think it wants to eat me.

Bear: *Growls*

*Hides behind Bella*

Bella: Oh ha, ha.

Crowley's Bitch: Eric and Damon at least you 2 didn't get me pregnant!*says while glaring at Sam, Dean, and Crowley*

Sam: *Shrugs*

Who doesn't have a baby around here?

Jack: Love, have my baby! *Holds Stefan's hand*

Stefan: …*Pushes him away*

Jack: *Squinted his eyes* Thought you were Alice. You really need to work on not being feminine mate.

Stefan: *Growls*

Crowley's Bitch: Damon and Eric I still love you! *gives all Damon and Eric fangirls willing to let them suck blood from them (including me)*

Zero: Stupid fangirls.

Jacob: Pfft.

Crowley's Bitch: Castiel, Can I have a hug please? *says with tear stained eyes*

Castiel: Hmm…Sure why not. *Hugs Crowley's Bitch*

Katherine: That's my bitch! Get your own!

Castiel: *Twitch*

Crowley's Bitch: Any questions anyone?

How many kids is it?

Damon: Should I buy a puppy?

…Why a puppy?

Damon: *Evil smirk*

O.O

Crowley's Bitch: *Holds up the peace sign* Peace out everyone!

Bye!

-:So nice.

*Gulps*

Damon: What's up with you?

Lestat: Yeah.

N-nothing!

Damon & Lestat: Liar.

FutureActress: I am going to kill you! *glares at Pam.*

Pam: *Wrinkles her face in disgust* Not you again.

FutureActress: *hits Pam on the head with crowbar*

O.o.

Pam: *Jumps after FutureActress but Damon and Eric holds her back*

…The more you know.

FutureActress: Edward don't think I forgot you either! *hit*

Edward: OW!

FutureActress: *Points at Eric* And you! This is all your fault!

Eric: But you were begging for more.

FutureActress: *Flips him off*

Eric: Out of love.

FutureActress: Damon I love you *kiss*.

Pam: *Twitch*

FutureActress: *pulls at Pam's hair* You can't stop me!

Pam: *Evil laughter* You're a dead girl!

FutureActress: Not dead yet!

Sam: You gonna stop this?

One thing I learned during my 19 years on this earth is never get between a girl fight. *Eats popcorn*

FutureActress: Jacob you look lonely. *kiss*

Damon: *twitch*

Jacob: Bout time some one notices me around here!

HeartsBreakInLove: Hey guys, what's up?

Nothing much. Except there's a psychopath after us.

HeartsBreak: Yikes. That's frightening.

I know.

Alice: How's pregnancy?

HeartsBreak: Horrible. Again, it's killing me. But i went and got an ultrasound. It's a girl. And i'm going to name her Kally.

Alice: pretty name.

HeartsBreak: Yeah. Thanks to Beatrix. Or else I would still need a name.

And if it wasn't for Damon you wouldn't be pregnant. *Glares at him*

Damon: *Flips me off* What a brat like you gonna do about it?

HeartsBreak: *Nervous laugh* Exactly.

Pam: So how's my step kid?

HeartsBreak: She's not you're step kid. At all and her name is Kally.

Pam: Well, I am engaged to her father.

HeartsBreak: If you ever come close to Kally i swear.

Pam: What? What can you do to me?

HeartsBreak: I'll murder your sorry ass.

Dean: But it is kinda funny that you got knocked up and Pam gets Damon

HeartsBreak: Yes. Don't rub it in.

Dean: ...OK

HeartsBreak: You're scared of me aren't you?

Dean: A little.

HeartsBreak: You don't have to be

Dean: Really?

HeartsBreak: No. you haven't gotten on my nerves yet.

Dean: Okay I'll be sure to not get on your nerves

HeartsBreak: Okay.

Damon: Oh, hello love. I see you're going by HeartsBreak now.

HeartsBreak: Yes I am. I took your advice. I don't know why, but i did.

It's never safe to take Damon's advice.

Damon: Screw you.

HeartsBreak: Wow. You're really trying to be friends aren't you?

Damon: Yes.

HeartsBreak: That's good. But you kissed Rose. Ewwww. I don't know what to say about that so, no comment. It just made me wanna throw up.

Damon: …Thanks?

HeartsBreak: Just saying. Hey guys my birthdays coming up!

Everyone: When is it?

HeartsBreak: December 14th! But my parents aren't getting me anything not even a party

Bonnie, Elena &Caroline: We'll get you something. What do you want?

HeartsBreak: Ooooh a party and huge chocolate cake!

Yay chocolate!

HeartsBreak: I know I love chocolate!

Me too!

HeartsBreak: hey Tyler, do you like Caroline?

Tyler: I dunno I'm having mixed feelings.

HeartsBreak: Okay! Caroline do you like Tyler?

Caroline: I dunno. A little *blushes*

HeartsBreak: Awww sooooo cute!

Stefan: I want a bunny!

HeartsBreak: *hands Stefan a huge bunny*

Stefan:*takes it* Thanks!

HeartsBreak: You're welcome!

Tara: *Giggles*

HeartsBreak: *whispers* You like him don't you?

Tara: Yes. A lot.

HeartsBreak: I think he likes you back.

Tara: Really how do you know?

HeartsBreak: I see it in the way he looks at you. and he's like, always staring at you.

Tara: Really?

HeartsBreak: Yup! And i can prove it

Tara: How?

HeartsBreak: We should try and make him jealous.

Tara: How?

HeartsBreak: Hit on someone else. Maybe Damon.

Tara: Ew. But I'll do it i need to know.

HeartsBreak: We should wait awhile.

Tara: You mean, next show?

HeartsBreak: Yes.

Tara: Okay then.

HeartsBreak: Now where's Edward?

Edward: Here we go again

HeartsBreak: That's right mother fucker! ~blows Edward to sparkles~

Nice.

HeartsBreak: Thanks! Anyways I think I'd better go!

Awww! Okay then

HeartsBreak: Bye!

Alice: Byes!

Bonnie, Elena & Caroline: Bye!

HeartsBreak: Bye!

Bye!

Jack: Chi? Chi-chan? Chi-a-pet? Chi-a-lea-ding-dong?

Huh?

Jack: Just trying out names love.

Hmmm…okay. I guess.

Rogue Assasin: *Rogue stands behind Darla* Boo

Darla: Ahhh! *Rogue rips Darla's beating heart out her back and incinerates her body*

O.O!

Rouge: Well hi ya'll *Rogue smiles and hands Bella the beating heart* Eat it bitch.

Bella:*Swallows heart, chokes and dies*

Rogue: So how have you all been doing? Pregnant fangirls - how bored with your lives are you? Future Actress - you need therapy... serious therapy - Damon's not real... Damon, Eric, Pam and the likes are like Santa... they don't really exist - they're made up - here have a teddy to console yourself with after that revelation.

Alice: Someone's a soul shatter today.

Rogue: *Places hand on hips* I'm in a bit of a bitchy mood - so if you're Bill, Bella or Sam it sucks to be you.

What happened to torturing Edward?

Rogue: As I said I kinda like the bastard - if he didn't sparkle I wouldn't want to shove a hot poker through his eyes. His character does have potential - Stephanie that retard Meyer made him a pussy cause she was so caught up in her fantasy of being Bella.

She's gotta point. You could do so much more in the hands of the right author that's not Meyer…or me.

Edward: Got a point.

Rogue: Hey Sook - Bill's a total Dick, you should totally screw Pam - its so worth it! *Rogue makes out with Pam*

Damon: *twitch*

Pam: Now, Now honey, you know the rules - this is an open marriage we can fuck whoever we want to... as long as we fuck them together... Right Alice... *Pam gropes Alice*

Alice: It's fun but I want more Eric!

Sookie: Don't even think of it

Alice: All right I won't... I'll just do it *Alice jumps Eric against the wall*

This is a PG 13 story!

Damon: It passed that point a long time ago.

Rogue: Hey I have a question about Lilith - she's always been my idol - from what I know she was created along with Adam and is his first wife but Adam wanted her to be submissive and lay beneath him during intercourse - Lilith refused and said they were equal so they should make love as the beast with two backs - Adam refused so Lilith ran away from Paradise and refused to return so Adam went crying to God and God created Eve from Adams rib so that she would never try to be his equal. What do you guys know of Lilith? I know male Patriarchal society pulled down her temples and made her out to be a child killing Demon during the time of the Hebrews. Another angle is God made Lilith from Fire and Adam from Earth and because she couldn't stand his smell she fled the Heavens and though Adam was with Eve his heart and soul pined for Lilith... Hmmm so people Characters and Fangirls alike - what do you think?

Katherine: Sounds like my kind of girl.

Damon: What's wrong with a woman on top?

Jack: Just tell that bastard to take a bloody bath. Or push him in the river, what ever works.

Rouge: Katherine why so nasty - it'll effect that baby - I don't like Deana as a name for the angel vamp baby - how about Casterine or Danielle or maybe your true name Katerina.

Katherine: Because you cursed me you brat. *Twitch* I WANT BLOOD DAMN IT!

I feel sorry for the baby.

Damon: *Nods*

Edward: Let's hope it's not like her.

Alice: Agreed.

Katherine: ASS MY ASS!

Rogue: Elena you suck - you and Stefan are making Vampire Diaries unbearable the only thing keeping vampire Diaries running is Damon. And your plots are a little lame True Blood will always kick VD's ass - VD is like Twilight minus the sparkles.

Stefan: I liked it better when she was friendly.

Elena: You called what she does to me friendly?

Stefan: …

Rogue: Hey Eric I had a dream about you - you were the king of some land and Sookie was your queen and I had a sword - it was so fun!

Sookie: What did you do with that sword?

Rogue: Hey Charity can you make me a martini? *Rogue sits on the big red couch*

Right away. *Goes makes a martini*

Damon: Make me one two!

Make your own!

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: Hmmm my guess is since you were working on True Blood - Russell Edgington is the one who brought all the mayhem end of last chappy.

*Hands the glass to Rogue* Close but all we know that it was a girl…*Looks at the fangirl crowd* You know who you are.

Rogue: *Laughs* Lestat - Really you want to play jealous lover - you do know Chi has a pink glow in the dark vibrator she calls Daddy D the third ... cause Damon over worked the first one on her... and Pam overworked the second one on her... should tell you something Lestat... *Rogue shoots Lestat in the Head* Charity - get someone worthwhile like Eric or Even Dean.

Sookie: You look at Eric, you die!

Alice: Oh I did more than just look at him

Pam: Girls please there isn't a woman in this room who hasn't fucked Eric.

Sookie: *Looking at Tara* You too!

Tara: Hey I couldn't resist and it was dark - it was just one time!

Stefan: …

Bella: Hey I haven't slept with him!

Rogue: Fuck - die please! *Rogue cuts Bella's head off and gives it to Edward* Run along and go play with it.

Pam: I have an announcement.

You're pregnant too! *Pulls out a sword and glares at Damon*

Pam: No but, no one will be having anymore of Damon's babies - I got him to have a vasectomy before we tied the knot.

Thank god! *Throws the sword to the side and everyone hears a scream*

Everyone: …

*Sweet smile*

Rogue: Hey Pam - tell us about the wedding, who was your bridesmaids, who gave you away? Who officiated the ceremony! We want to know!

Damon: Well Stefan was my best man, Sookie was Pam's maid of honor, Crowley officiated the ceremony - being king of hell and all and Eric gave Pam away.

Pam: We got Talbot's chef to make us a blood cake and I wore a red and black wedding gown - to match the blood ruby and black diamonds on my ring *Pam flashes wedding ring at Fangirls*

Rogue: Hey Dean I here you're going to be kidnapped by fairies soon - but I think you're going to like it.

That episode was so freaking funny.

Dean: It wasn't fun.

Rogue: Damon so you and Rose did the horizontal mambo - nice - Pam you get a taste of Rose yet?

Pam: *Smirks* She's…*Licks her lips* sweet.

Rogue: Hey Dean and Sam doesn't Rose look a lot like Bella Talbot - that chick who kicked Deans ass.

Dean: ….

Sam: *Chuckles a little*

Rogue: So Stefan - enjoy the show - I always knew you were a perve... Stefan Elena sucks do you know Time mag says you lack originality and are a James Dean wannabe and that Damon is the only interesting character and Nina Dobrev's acting abilities aren't worth dirt. If your ratings don't pick up there won't be a VD season 3. I think the producers should consider killing off Matt - he lacks purpose.

Matt: AWWW!

Rogue: Vegeta is TOO awesome to die - he's sooooo cool - bring him on Chi *Rogue kisses Chi*

*Faints*

Alice: She's oozing steam.

Rogue: Oh well - I am tired now - catch you guys later and Darla if you resurrect yourself - I am watching you.

Darla: Pfft.

Rogue: *Points at Darla* Watching.

Darla: *Sticks her tongue out*

Beatrix: Holy shit! Are you all fine? Who the hell did kill you all? The psychopath son of Freddy and Jason? Or the fairies!

Damon: *Hits me in the back of the head* Play sleeping beauty.

Beatrix: Oh my Chi! I'll bring you back to life with a kiss *kisses Chi*

*opens eyes and smiles* my prince *kisses back*

Beatrix: I know, I'm charming *grins*

*Gets up and tackles Damon* THAT REALLY HURT!

Damon: You think you can win against me!

Beatrix: Ok, this massacre made me oddly hungry *a cookie basket appears from nowhere* thanks for the cookies Love, they are good! *Damon tries to steal one* hey *slaps his hand* don't you dare!

Damon: Ouch! Oh come on, just one!

DON'T IGNORE ME!

Beatrix: You called me a whore!

Damon: but I'm one too!

Beatrix: Oh well, I think you're right. But we're happy like this, don't we?

Damon: indeed we are! We get all the fun *grins and hugs me*

Beatrix: Ok, I'll give you a cookie or two and what will you give to me?

Damon: a kiss? *smiles*

Beatrix: Damn *blushes* fine *hands a cookie and gets a stunning kiss* wow, it even tasted like chocolate!Chi one for you too! By the way I know you are all girl very well *licks lips* I was just joking! So you can't get Damon pregnant, but I could!

Damon: WHAT?

Beatrix: Yeah, with this *shows a potion* but don't worry I'm not saying I will but just that I can and that it doesn't need to be exactly you! Just beware what you all drink *evil laugh*!

You wanna drink Damon?

Damon: Bite me.

Beatrix: Hey Rogue *kisses*! I was pretty shocked when I got the test but I didn't think much of it because you are the devil and all, so who knows? But if you say it was Crowley that night *shares a look with Cas then both jump on Crowley*

Cas & Me: marry us!

Katherine: Get back here dammit!

Everyone: O.O

Dean: what? Cas he's a demon!

Cas: sorry Dean, but you do not know what he can do with his tongue! Now I understand Bobby better!

John: Bobby? What's with Bobby?

Beatrix: You really don't want to know, trust me! But please Crowley! I'll be a good stepmom for Rogue, she already love me! And I'll share you with Crowley's Bitch too and I'm carrying you're son! And Cas' and Eric's too I know, but...

Eric: What? Mine? Since when?

Beatrix: I drank Rogue's potion!

Sam: But why? I thought we were good!

Beatrix: You are too weird, dude! I don't what you near my baby girl! Eric is hotter too and he can scare all the boys with just a glance or by groping their ass! He can scare Damon too!

Damon: Disgust and fear are two different things.

Eric: Sit on my lap Damon.

Damon: *Runs away*

Crowley: I will think about it, as a matter of fact I could use a queen.

Beatrix: Yay! I'll be queen of hell! And we can take Cas with us, he'll be a good ally!

Katherine: Hey, he's mine!

Beatrix: Oh don't worry Kat, I've a good replacement for you! I'm starting to like you a little! You are the biggest bitch ever, but at least you have a reason for that *glares at Elena* what's your fucking excuse? *snaps fingers and sets Elena on fire*

O.O

Beatrix: Ok, now for Kat present *snaps fingers again and a chained and shirtless Kaname Kuran appears kneeled at Kat foot*

Katherine: aw pretty and young just how I like them! Thank you!

Beatrix: *Smirks* Young forever too!

Zero: yes, Yuki is all mine!

Beatrix: Don't think so! She's going out with Ruka and Aido, because they find out Kaname doesn't love none of them!

Kaname: that's not true! I love Yuki!

Beatrix: Liar! *takes out her cell phone and plays a video* Aido sent me the proof!

Kaname's voice from the phone: Oh yes, Zero! Please... take me, yes! Zeeeerooo!

Zero: I think I'm going to throw up *runs out*!

Can you send me that?

Beatrix: You really have good dreams Kana-chan!

Kaname: don't call me that! *blushes*

Beatrix: *laughs* I think we're ok now, don't we Kat?

Katherine: we're more than ok, my dear *licks lips while playing with Kaname's hair*!

Kaname: *shivers* help me please!

Beatrix: Good, now I can go have some sex! Who's up for it?

Edward: ME!

Beartrix: *shoots him in the head* in your dreams!

Eric: let's go, love! I didn't have the pleasure for a while *takes me in the backroom*

Beatrix: Bye Chi! Thank you for all, I had a really bad week but you can always cheer me up *blows a kiss*! And it was my first Thanksgiving, I loved it! – Beatrix

Bye! I'm happy to hear that!

Alice: Hey what ever happened to Ichigo?

Ichigo: I'm over here. Away from that crazy bitch.

Katherine: Come join Kaname and me!

Ichigo: No way in hell.

You know he's 15.

Katherine: And I care why?

…Nothing.

Vampire-Diaries-Addict-Forever: Damon: I know how to ride a motorcycle.

Jacob: Just don't go too fast.

Damon: *squeeze the handle* Bye! *Drives away fast*

Jacob: Bella!

Damon: Bye clingy!

Jacob: But the cliff!

Damon: *Looks behind him* What? *Falls off a cliff*

Funniest part ever!

Thxs. So Damon. How did you like falling down a cliff?

Damon: You wanna know.

Nope!

Damon: Then shut up.

Kay.

Damon: See. I trained her well.

*hits him with a chair* Jerk.

Everyone: …O.o

Katherine: Starting to grow some balls?

I'm just tired of him treating me like that.

Bonnie: Join the club.

*Sighs* I want a guy too! *Goes cry in the corner*

Lestat: What! You have me.

Can't tell. You either chasing Stefan, or fighting with Eric. I want you to care about…

Damon: Fast forward because this is stupid.

*Growls*

Damon: Fine, I'm sorry and all that other crap I really don't mean.

…*Dryly* Thanks.

Damon: See. It's that…

*Slams a table on his head with evil demon voice* BASTARD!

Everyone: …

*Fire in the background*

Jack: …Mum?

*Fire disappears* Wha!

Jack: Oh. *Waves his hand* Carry on love.

*Rubs forehead* I need a smoke.

Alice: You don't smoke.

I need to…or get drunk off Mountain Dew. Either one works.

Hannah: ARE YOU GUYS OKAY!

Everyone: *Nods*

Jack: I am not bloody alright!

Hannah: …Why?

Jack: Because my clothes are missing!

Jack, your wearing your clothes.

Jack: Nonsense love. I think I would know if I have clothes on…now tell that blood bastard to give me my clothes. *Points to Jacob*

Jacob: I'm only wearing shorts.

Jack: Not you mate. *Points to Mason* That lame excuse of a howling sea monkey!

Mason: *Sighs* I'm a werewolf Jack.

Jack: And I'm a bloody pillow, now give me my clothes.

Hannah: This is gonna take a long time huh?

Yep.

Hannah: Alright. Dean *clings to* I was so scared that I lost you. Now, superlong backroom time!*drags to backroom*

That was fast.

Pam: Yep. Fangirls have so much time on their pretty lil hands. *Pulls hair into a ponytail*

Eric: How long we have to wait for them?

Sam: *Sighs* A day or two?

We're be here when they get back.

Edward: But for now me and Stefan…

Stefan: Count me out.

Edward: Okay. I will sing until that come back.

Everyone: SHIT NO!

*Day or two later*

Hannah: Hi…what happened?

Edward: *Holding the microphone and singing really badly* DO YOU BELIEVE IN LOVE AFTER LOVE!

Damon: DO YOU BELIEVE IN A BREATH MINT! *Plugs his fingers in his ears*

*Sighs*

Hannah: Sorry.

No problem.

Hannah: Chi are you ok?

Yeah. Thanks.

Hannah: Cas hun, are you ok? *hugs*

Castiel: Nope. A raging bitch is having my baby.

Katherine: *Petting Kaname as he cries*

Poor guy.

Caroline: Another Ichigo I guess.

Hey, where were you?

Caroline: …Over there where the bowl of goldfish is.

…

Hannah: Damon I can't believe you and Rose hooked up. You're too good for her.

Damon: I'm too good for anyone.

Pam: *Chuckles*

Damon: You're lucky I like you.

Pam: Likewise.

Hannah: Puppy…

Sam: *Twitch*

Hannah: I think you know what time it is. *smiles* PIGGYBACK TIME! *Jumps on Sam's back*

Sam: Shit!

Hannah: *Pulls his hair* Ride em' cowboys!

Sam: *Runs around*

Dean: …

Hannah: Slow down Sam! *Looks at Bonnie* Don't hook up with Luka! Get with Jeremy!

Yeah! I don't trust him anyways!

Bonnie: *Laughs* I can't keep that promise.

Hannah: Jeremy, don't let that Luka dude get in the way of you and Bonnie.

Jeremy: Yeah!

Damon: Never cared!

Jeremy: …Asshole.

Hannah: Mason, how are you still here?

Mason: I'm denying death so I don't die on here.

Damon: We don't care.

Take your shirt off!

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

Hannah: Wow Katherine. You actually showed a sensitive side when you saw the picture of you and your family.

Katherine: Pfft. Stop lying. *Looks around* You tell anyone else and I will cut you!

Hannah: …I hope that baby comes out sane.

Castiel: That's what I said.

Katherine: *Glares at Castiel*

Castiel: *Closes his mouth*

Hannah: Cas I haven't made you sing in a while...sing Teenage Dream by Katy Perry please!

Castiel: *Sighs* At least you didn't dress me up.

Eric: You reminded her.

Castiel: You make me

Feel like I'm living a

Teenage dream

The way you turn me on

I can't sleep

Let's run away and

Don't ever look back

Don't ever look back

My heart stops

When you look at me

Just one touch

Now baby I believe

This is real

So take a chance

And don't ever look back

Don't ever look back.

Happy now?

Hannah: Edward I haven't paid much attention to you lately, but that doesn't mean I hate you any less.

Edward: And I still hope you chock on a skittle.

Hannah: Never cared for your thoughts. Chi: I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 on opening day. IT WAS AMAZING! Did you see it?

I wish. I wanted to see it but I'm broke.

Hannah: Bye guys!

See you later!

Mellissa: Chi! U LIKE MEG AND DIA! HOLY SHIT! HAVE U EVER HEARD FIGHTING FOR NOTHING! DUDESSS! I GOTTTTA GO PEEE! But I am lazy so YEA! I LUBB CAPSSS! KATIE (HEART BROKEN) SCARED ME TO DEATH TODAY X.X She is VERRYY scary soemtimes! But I scare her too so yea! GUESS WHAT! RAPETOPIA IS AWEESOME!Jeremmmmyyy! GIMMEH A COOKIIIIE! AND/OR A WAFFLE! PWEASE! Heh heh...I still gotta go pee -.-. MELLISSA IS MY NAME AND I LIKE PICKLES! FOR IZZLE MY NIZZLE! ! AM I SCARING ANYONE YET! ELENA! I SORTA LIKE U! LETS PUT IT THIS WAY, I DONT COMPLETELY LOATHE U!

Amber: *runs in and kicks meh*

FUCK FACEE! SHE HAS BEEN DOING THAT ALL DAYYY! MY LEG HURTS! I SEEEEEEEEE THHHHEEEE FLYIIIINNNGGG COOOWWW! ! GOBBLE, GOBBLE! OKAY WELL BYEE! P.S. EDWARD! GO GET HIT BY A RHINO!

…What happened?

Elena: Sugar rush?

Edward: This is what happens when your head's in the toilet for too long.

Damon & Stefan: You should know.

Edward: Bite me.

Jeremy: I brought the cookies…where did she go?

Damon: With Meg and Dia in the sky.

Mellissa: I'M NOT DEAD!

Damon: … *Shrugs*

Heart-Broken-In-Love: *twitching*

Stefan: What's wrong with you?

Heart-Broken: I wrote so damn much! *throws up* Fan fiction deleted it all! I was up for an hour writing it!*throws up again* AND I CANT STOP THROWING UP NOW CAUSE I HAVE THAT KID IN ME TUMMY!

Someone give me a bucket.

Jacob: On the way madam.

Heart-Broken: Jeremy and Seth, Why do ya'll hate each other so much?

Jeremy: He's a bastard.

Seth: His mother gave birth to him.

Jeremy: *Twitch then tackles Seth*

Heart-Broken: DON'T TEAR ANYTHING UP! OMGG! MELISSA BE REVIEWIN ON HERE AGAIN! SHE BE ME SISTER! oooohohhhohohohzzz!

Edward: Great. Another one of them.

Heart-Broken: *Twitch* What's that suppose to mean Eddie?

Edward: *Looks around* I didn't say that.

Heart-Broken: Everyone, okay I to lazy to think of some names so please help me *siting on glass table sipping on a martini*

Caroline: *snatches it from me* You're pregnant! It will kill the baby!

Heart-Broken: *crys* GIVEIT BACK ITS THE ONLY THING THAT SOOTHES ME!

Caroline: *kicks me*

Heart-Broken: *stops crying* I know you didn't just fucking kick me! *attacks*

*Chops everyone except Katherine, Jeremy, Seth, Chi, Damon, Alice, And Gir's heads off*

O.O.

Damon: Lucky that I'm not them.

Katherine: Can we put Damon on that list?

Damon: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: Rogue! You know I haven't talked too you in a while. How long has it been? Hmm since we were both in hell... I still loathe you! *grins and blows kiss*

Gir: Waffles are awesome!

Damon: Damn he got out of the box.

Gir: *Turns to Damon and eyes turn red* HUG?

Damon: Oh shit.

Heart-Broken: You know you love me! Why wouldn't you?

Lestat: I have a reason.

Heart-Broken: *Twitch* Hey. Blonde, shut the fuck up. No one was talking to you.

Lestat: Pfft. What are you gonna do about it?

Heart-Broken: *Smirks and says darkly* You wanna try me?

Lestat: Nope.

Heart-Broken: Good dog.*looks at Chi* You not unloved *kisses her for a little over ten minutes*

*Ten minutes later*

*On the floor* I'm melting.

Tara: *Laughs*

Heart-Broken: *kisses Jeremy*

Damon: *Kicks me* Stop drooling. That's nasty.

I'm melting.

Damon: Go melt in the corner.

Heart-Broken: WHO THE FUCK IS KILLING THE WHOLE CAST…*sniffs air* I smell cookies! Someone get me a cookie now!

Stefan: At least we know what to bribe her with.

Heart-Broken: *giggles*

Everyone: *Nods*

Heart-Broken: *twitches* My friend just tied to cut my hair off... *staring at martini* Imma be trying to get that the whole chapter...

Caroline: *Narrows her eyes* No.

Heart-Broken: Imma just sit here...and wait for ya'll to get distracted so I can get it...

Caroline: It's not gonna happen

Heart-Broken: *throws up on her and giggles*

Caroline: *Growls*

Heart-Broken: The baby doesn't like you!

…

Heart-Broken: Oh Chi! Come here!

Okay.

Heart-Broken: *Lends over and whispers in my ear* Sorry I went overboard.

Huh?

Heart-Broken: *Jumps at Caroline and grabs the glass out her hand* Haha!

Caroline: HEART-BROKEN!

Heart-Broken: Peace!

Eric: Wow.

Bob: And I thought I was messed up.

Elena: Why don't you be a father to your child?

Bob: Don't hate the playa hate the game.

Elena: …Bastard.

CookieWafflePowerToughGirl: Ah! I'm so sleepy yet so wired! Maybe I should lay off these jellybeans...alright,

Damon: Lay off the red bull.

Cookie: John, Its just one kid. And the way its acting...it's probably a girl.

John: …

Cookie: Chi, I beat Elena twenty to two. She needs to work on her Tic Tac Toe skills *Shakes head*

Elena: Hey! I haven't played in a few years.

Cookie: Such a shame.

Elena: Pfft. *Folds her arms over her chest*

Cookie: Damon, Ah Damon, I wouldn't want you to fuck me for all the money in the world. You're sooo not my type.

Damon: Good. Don't care…never cared…*Twitch*

Seems like someone's ego was bruised.

Damon: It seems like someone doesn't want to walk right.

*Moves away*

Cookie: Jeremy, I think it's cute you got a crush on Bonnie. You guys make a kickass couple.

Bonnie: Really?

Cookie: Yep.

Heart-Broken: I'll throw up on you.

Bonnie: …

Cookie: Seth, Let's go to the backroom. I'm horny.

Seth: Sure, I guess.

Cookie: Castiel, You really shouldn't let the baby smite

Katherine...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I joke. Continue on.

Castiel: Smite her!

Katherine: *Falls* YOU BASTARD!

Castiel: Never gets old.

Rogue: Eric, Eric he's my man! Please Eric fuck me once again!

Eric: * throws Rogue over his shoulder, slaps her ass and takes her to the back room*

:...

Damon: Well she knows what she wants.

Bonnie: It clearly isn't you.

Pam: Well clearly you weren't in bed with me and Damon and Rogue last night... Chi made a brief appearance too - she sleep walked into our room ... So Damon put a clown costume on her, guided her back to bed and placed a mirror above her bed - she woke up screaming and couldn't come out of bed for a whole 3 hours!

I will wear your skin as a coat! *Charity throws her shoes at Damon*

Damon: Bring it smurfs girl

Smurfs are cute!

Caroline: No they're not.

Well our definition of cute our two different things.

Damon: Just don't hurt yourself with big words.

Rogue: *comes out of back room straightening her school dress and sits in Johns lap* Alice - Eric's waiting for you

Alice: I'm coming big boy *Run to the back door and Sookie chases after her*

Sookie: Fear my fairy powers!

Rogue: So what's up Johnny boy?

John: Noth - nothing

Rogue: Are you sure? Cause I can feel a little woody against my tushy - are you getting a woody Johnny?

Sam: Why do I feel as if our Dad is being molested in front of our eyes?

Dean: Why do I find it hot?

Crowley: That's not molestation boys... Come I will show you molestation *Evil laugh and Crowley disappears with Sam and Dean in black smoke*

Rogue: Guess what Johnny - My daddy is going to put his woody in Sammy and Deany *Rogue smiles, John grabs chest and dies*

…

Tara: It's always fun when she's around. Never boring.

*Nods*

Rogue: Soooooo shall the fun begin? Let's See Ima start with Bill.

Bill: Shit.

Jack: Where? Did I step on it mate?

Just go drink somewhere.

Jack: Sure.

Rogue: You haven't met my crocs yet Bill have you *Rogue snaps fingers and crocs appear and rip Bill up - Bella gets covered in Bills blood then Edward drains her*

and that's how Twilight should have ended - Day one Eddie feels hungry - Bella smells good Edward eats Bella end of story

Jacob and Seth: Here, here!

Charity I want to give you a present *Rogue hands Charity a big red box*

It isn't going to explode or something?

Rogue: Nope - but you're only allowed to open in tonight – it's what Eric wants you to wear tonight

*Blush*

*Explosion is heard from the backroom and Alice and Sookie come out fighting and pulling hair*

Sookie: Eric is mine!

Alice: No he's not go fuck Bill some more!

Sookie: Bill doesn't satisfy me!

Bella: Says you - I think Bill is wonderful in bed.

Rogue: *Snarls* Die already.

Katherine: *Rips of Bella's head and drains her* Annoying bitch.

Edward: Here, here.

Rogue: Wow Kat thanks! What name you decide for the baby? And what will her last name be? Pierce or Petrova?

Katherine: I DON'T CARE! I WANT IT OUT. *Small blush* ANYONE POINT THAT OUT AND I'LL EAT YOU ALIVE!

Okay.

Rogue: Now too torture Sam... oh wait Dad's torturing him in hell... Oh well bye everyone. *Rogue makes out with Chi and squeezes her boobs* You taste like Oreos...

I-I…

Damon: *Twitch* DIE ALREADY!

BroadwayAngelLyric: Happy Turkey Day!

Damon: Stupid writer.

Broadway: Rogue, I loved that sex change you did on Sam and Bella, hilarious!

Sam: Not fun.

Bella: How many times I have to die on here?

Broadway: BTW, *bombs Bella*

She go boom!

Caroline: She go big boom!

Pam & Tara: *Nods*

Broadway: Sam, since you're a girl now, you're pregnant too by...DEAN! Poor John.

John: *Dies again*

…

Broadway: Edward finally dies! Kill Sam, Elena, and Bella too and I'll be one happy camper.

Bella: Dying hurts.

Broadway: Damon, Stefan, Jeremy, Eric, Pam, Sookie, Tara, Jack, and Gir must live!

What about me? *Goes crying in the corner*

Damon: *Stuck his tongue out* Loser.

Broadway: Btw, Jack here's some booze and Gir I brought you waffles.

Jack: Thanks love.

Gir: YAY!

Broadway: Chi, have you ever seen RENT? IT'S AWESOME!

I never seen it but I'll check it out.

Broadway: Castiel, all I have to say is just wow.

Castiel: *Shrugs*

Broadway: Katherine, you're an inspiration for all women who aspire to be in power.

Katherine: I know. Men are idiots to think they can control us. Those bastards have another thing coming.

Stefan: There's men here.

Katherine: Death to the non believer!

Stefan: …

Broadway: How many people are preggo now? I lost count.

Me either. As long as it's not me.

Broadway: Chi, you should do a chapter from the babies' pov, they should be talking by now.

I was going to a Christmas one with the babies.

Broadway: Damon, what you said to Elena on VD actually made me cry. Which means that it should never be repeated. Badasses don't show weakness.

Damon: I'm bad asses during anything. So ha.

Broadway: Still didn't like it.

Damon: So.

Broadway: Stefan, hi.

Stefan: Ahh…hi?

Broadway: I'm going to go. See you guys later byeeeee.

Katherine: Bye my pupil!

Castiel: …

FutureActress: Damon I know you're just a fictional character, but I love you.

Damon: Thanks.

Pam: More like Future's insane!

Dr. Phil: *Opens his mouth*

Future Actress: Dr. Phil say one word to me...and you'll regret it!

Dr. Phil: *Closes his mouth and walks away*

Kind feel sorry for him.

FutureActress: I never do.

Katherine: Kill that bastard in his sleep…no that's too nice.

Vie: Hey Chicas and fellas! How the hell is everyone. I'm on cloud 9 has almost two weeks off from work and celebrated my birthday on Friday (Nov. 27). So I am loving life right now PLUS today is my Friday!

Damon: Again. Stupid writer.

Shut up.

Vie: * grabs Dean and Sam for a manage trois and all three return with satisfied grins on their faces*

Dean: So worth the abuse I get from Rogue.

Vie: Hey Chi. How's life and school treating ya?

I'm on a 3 week break so I'm happy! You?

Vie: Hey Bonnie, Tara, Alice and Katherine! Bons; those kids aren't stressing ya are they? Do we need to head back out to the Male strip club? BTW; Chocolate Thunder and Vanilla Surprise wants your number **Vie winks at Bonnie remembering how dirty she and Bonnie were acting at the strip club**

Damon: *Shakes head* Slut.

Bonnie: Like you can talk.

Vie: Damon...I love ya! **Vie tongue kisses Damon with a promise to meet later**

Elena: *Twitch*

Vie: STEFAN *Vie gives Stef an innocent smooch and then presents him with a turkey slurpee.* You and Tara are just too damn cute! Gotta go guys...work duty calls.

Bye!

Damon: Come back or at least take this thing with you! *Points to me*

*Twitch* Well it's been a while. I kind needed a break from fanfiction for a break. A small part of me get's annoyed when I get those 'you grammar & spelling suck' things, because I know it does and it doesn't really help that I haven't been in a English classroom for over four years, I'm still working on those areas. But on a lighter note I'm gonna at least try to make up for missing stuff and it's so close to the Christmas and other Holidays. I want to thank xXspoiiledheartXx, Crowley's Bitch 13, FutureActressKS, HeartsBreakInLove, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, Vampire-Diaries-Addict-Forever, Breakfastclub85, Mellissa, Heart-Broken-In-Love, CookieWafflePowerToughGirl, BroadwayAngelLyric, and Vie for reviews. And my viewers, you guys make my days brighter.

Damon: Also Happy Late Birthday to Vie and HeartsBreakInLove.

Peace.

Stefan: Love.

Katherine: GIVE ME BOOZE!

Jack: That's my line.

Bye guys.


	75. 12 Holidays, 12 craziness

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Ranma ½!

Ranma: SHAMPOO GET OFF ME!

Shampoo: Nyah! *clinging on his back*

Damon: …He's running away.

Stefan: Yep.

Damon: From a cat.

Stefan: Yep.

Damon: The hell is going on.

Akane: *Sighs* He's scared of cats.

Ranma: SAVE ME!

Akane: *Pulls out a bucket of hot water and throws it on Ranma & Shampoo*

Damon & Stefan: Whoo!

Shampoo: That mean, Akane.

Akane: *twitch* PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

Shampoo: *Hugs Raman tightly* Ranma my love.

Akane: *Twitch*

Ranma: H-hey Akane it's not what it looks like.

Damon: Dude, don't give in.

Akane: *Snaps at Damon* Stay out of it! *Then looks back at Ranma*

Shampoo: You mad cause Shampoo has bigger boobs!

Akane: *Give a small laugh*

Ranma: *Gulps* A-Akane hey, I mean.

Shampoo: *Hugs him tighter*

Stefan: She's naked.

Damon: So. If that was me I wouldn't admit anything…

Stefan: …Only you.

Akane: *Pulls out a bucket of cold water* THEN BOTH OF YOU MAKE OUT TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT!

Damon: It's not making out if she's naked.

Ranma: AKANE!

Akane: *Dumps the water on both of them and kicks them in the air*

Damon: …He turned into a girl.

Stefan: It doesn't surprise me one bit.

Akane: What are you two doing here? Here to challenge Ranma to a fight?

Damon: Nope. Just wanted to know if you ever been with a vamp before.

Akane: Huh?

Stefan: I don't know him.

Damon: *Shrugs* I wish for the same thing but look what that's got me.

Stefan: Bastard.

Damon: Bitch.

Akane: Guys.

Stefan: *Tackles Damon*

Akane: …

*Rain starts to pour*

Stefan: *Gets up and screams* I HAVE TITS!

Damon: Whoa. I didn't see that coming.

Stefan: What?

Damon: Woof! *Transformed into a black poodle*

Stefan: *Looks down at Damon* …That fits you so well.

Damon: *Lifts up his leg and pees on Stefan*

* * *

That was nasty!

Damon: *Shrugs*

Well today we will sing the 12 days of Christmas.

Katherine: It'll be our versions.

Jack: I want booze.

Let's start the song! Yay.

Damon: Pfft.

On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Bonnie: A condom so I wouldn't get pregnant.

….

Damon: Ha-ha. It wasn't my fault.

Bonnie: *Glares at him*

Pam: Back off.

Bonnie: Not interested.

Guys!

Pam & Bonnie: *Glares at each other*

*Sighs* On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Stefan: Two rape whistles.

Lestat: You know you like it.

Tara: STAY AWAT FROM HIM!

And a condom so I wouldn't be pregnant.

Damon: …I hate you. All of you.

Katherine: We don't care.

Damon: I can tell that you heartless…

Kaname: Save me. Please?

Katherine: This will not end up like Ichigo.

Everyone: …

On the third day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Alice: Three silver crosses.

…

Alice: What? It don't work on me.

Katherine: You still sparkle.

Alice: If you wasn't…

Katherine: Bring it on pixie!

Let's finish the song.

Castiel: Yeah…or I'll smite you again.

Katherine: *Flips him off*

On the fourth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Bob: Four hoes a crying.

Kaname: Please let me be free!

Ichigo: *Cries* How the hell did I get back here.

Alice: Three silver crosses to shove down Katherine throat.

…

Tara: Two rape whistles.

Bonnie: And a condom for ole Danny boy. *Points at Damon*

Damon: *Sits in the corner and reads a book*

Stefan: Stop pretending to read.

Damon: Shut up…I'm just trying to feel my brain with knowledge.

Stefan: *Stares a Damon*

Damon: *Throws the book to the side* I'm looking at the pictures asshole!

Stefan: *Laughs* I known that.

Damon: I'll pee on you again.

Wait…'s here! *Hides behind Tara*

Damon: Ha. Ha.

Castiel: On the fifth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Katherine: Five chocolate puffs! No, seriously I will kill you all if you don't give me chocolate.

Bob: Four hoes a crying.

Alice: Three silver crosses.

Stefan: Two rape whistles.

Lestat: You think that will stop me from loving you?

Tara: *Pulls out a gun* This will.

Lestat: …

And a condoms for Damon.

Damon: *Twitch*

On the sixth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Sam: Six type of bras.

Damon: ….BWHAHAHAHA!

Katherine: Five coco puffs!

Bob: Four hoes a crying.

Alice: Three silver crosses.

Stefan: Two rape whistles.

And a condoms for Damon.

Sookie: On the seventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Eric: Seven new positions.

Alice & Sookie: …HE'S MINE!

*Nervous laugh*

Edward: Who doesn't love a cat fight?

Sookie: *Pulls Alice's hair*

Sam: Six type of bra.

Katherine: Five coco puffs!

Bob: Four hoes a crying.

Alice: Bitch move!

Stefan: Two rape whistles.

Damon: And I peed on Stefan!

That's nothing to be proud of.

Damon: This is revenge for when we were little. Pissing in the bed bastard.

Lestat: I love you Stefan.

Tara: *Shots Lestat in the head*

Jacob: On the eighth day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Mason: More time to live…

It has to be eight.

Mason: Okay…eight more times to live.

Eric: Seven new positions. Wanna try them with me Chi.

*Blush*

Alice & Sookie: BACK AWAY!

Sam: Six type of bras.

Katherine: FIVE COCO PUFFS!

Bob: Four hoes a cryin.

Alice: I'LL BREAK YOU!

Sookie: I LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY!

Stefan: I think he's dead.

Tara: Good.

And a condom for Damon.

Jeremy: On the ninth day of Christmas my true love gave to me.

Seth: Nine bite marks. Ow…that really hurts! *Rubs his arm*

Mason: Eight more times to live.

Eric: Seven new positions. Damon…

Damon: Fuck no.

Sam: Six type of bras.

Dean: You're a guy now…why you need any type of bra?

Sam: *Nervous laughs* I don't use it. I don't sneak into the dressing room and sniff them…ha-ha.

Katherine: Stay away from my stuff.

It's your turn.

Katherine: KISS MY FAT ASS!

Bob: Four hoes a crying.

Alice: Three silver crosses.

Stefan: I really thin he's dead. Thank god.

Lestat: I love you! *Tackles Stefan*

Tara: I need a bigger gun.

Bonnie: And a condom for Damon.

On the tenth day of Christmas my true gave to me…

Damon: Ten fan girls on my….

*Growls* NO!

Seth: Nine bite marks.

Mason: Eight more times to live.

Eric: Seven new positions.

Katherine: FIVE DEAD BODIES!

….

Bob: Four hoes a cryin.

Alice: Three silver crosses.

Stefan: Two bigger guns.

Bonnie: And a condom for Damon.

Jack: On the 2…6 day of Santamas …

Everyone: It's the eleventh.

Jack: Fine. On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

Gir: Eleven gin waffles!

Damon: Ten girls on my…

*Hits him with a chair*

Seth: Nine bite marks.

Mason: Eight lives to live.

Eric: Seven new positions.

Sam: Six types of bras.

Katherine: GIVE ME COCO!

Bob: Four hoes a crying.

Alice: Three silver crosses.

Stefan: Two rape whistles.

Bonnie: And a condom for Damon.

Tyler`1: On the last day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

LOOK AT THIS ROOM! IT"S A MESS!

Damon: Twelve screaming Chi…

*Twitch*

Gir: Eleven gin waffles…

Damon: Ten girls….

I'm watching you.

Seth: Nine bite marks.

Mason: Eight lives to live.

Eric: Seven new positions.

Sam: Six type of bras.

Katherine: I JUST DON"T GIVE A FUCK!

Bob: Four crying hoes.

Alice: Three silver crosses.

Stefan: Two rape whistles.

Everyone, expect Damon: DAMON IS A HOE.

Damon: *Twitch* Like anyone of you can talk.

Welcome to our Holiday Shows they can't do together! Happy Holidays!

Damon: Your song sucked.

Shut up.

MissMollyCullen: Hey there Chii! You are awesome!

Thxs.

Damon: Don't give her a bigger head then she does now.

…

MissMollyCullen: I am really poorly and in the three days I have been off school, this has kept me occupied! Anyways ignore my username! I made this account in 2008 when I was in love with Emmett! You can just call me Moll or Pix...

Okay…Pix!

Katherine: No because that reminds me of me lost love…

Alice: He ran away didn't he?

Katherine: How the hell you know that?

Alice: You're a bitch.

Katherine: UP YOURS PIXIE!

Everyone: *Watching Katherine and Alice yell at each other*

Moll then.

Moll: Long story and don't really want to explain! And who ever this random person is that is messing with the characters, I have only one thing to say to you... Truce?

…: Never!

...

Moll: That girl looks nuts.

*Slaps forehead*

…: YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME…oh chocolate.

Stefan: I was that coming.

Tyler: Yep.

Caroline: That girl is crazy indeed.

Moll: Though I have some objections! I love you Damon, even though your an ass :/ …

Bonnie: Big ASS.

Damon: No one cares about you.

Moll: I may just have to take you home and spank you…

*Laughs*

Moll: *Twitch* Do force me to say things like that.

*Looks down on the floor* Okay.

Moll: Pam! I think your so awesome but back off from Damon!

Pam: I like to see you try and do something about it. *Kisses Damon on the cheek*

Caroline: I sense a cat fight and not just between Moll and Pam.

Sookie: Touch Eric again and you will die.

Bill: Sookie, I'm standing right here.

Alice: Bring it on.

Bill: But I love you!

Katherine: What's love got to do to it?

Kaname: Please, stop her from touching me.

To think I had a crush on him for a second…then realized that he was trying to screw his sister.

Damon: Dean and Sam should know something about that.

Mason: Why are you guys looking at me? Their over there!

Tyler: *Whispers to Caroline* I thought he died?

Caroline: Maybe he's a ghost.

Edward: Oh please, wolfy doesn't have a soul.

Jacob: And you don't have a mom.

Edward: You don't have one either.

Jacob: At least I know where she is.

Edward: You probably ate her.

Jacob: You probably fucked yours.

Edward: …

Tyler & Mason: Ew.

Jack: Too much…*throws up*

Edward: Shut up!

Moll: Ew…that's beyond nasty! I think I need to scrub my mind!

Edward: Let me…

Moll: SHUT UP!

Edward: …

Moll: Rogue... You rock. We should totally like go for tea (I am from England... I love my tea!).

I want to go to England one day, it looks so pretty!

Damon: Until England thugs try to steal your purse.

…Why you have to mess it all up?

Damon; Because you're my Chi-a-pet.

*Sighs*

Moll: Edpuff... Go die.

Edward: Why don't you join me?

Moll: *Kicks Edward in the side* Bellatard, because me and my friends are dorks, we worked out that it would be inhumanly possible for you to dive off the cliff and survive! So our solution is to push you off again and see how you did it!

Bella: What!

*Scenery change*

Moll: Wow.

Damon: Didn't know we could do this so…let's go to the playboy Mansion!

*Ten hours later*

Damon: I hate you.

Bella: This is really…

Edward: Push her and make her crack her head.

Bella: You listen here Bastard!

Moll: Bye-Bye. *pushes Bella off the cliff*

Bella: *Screams*

Edward: That best thing that happened all year.

Moll: Okay I know this is very late, but I just thought I would mention that I went as Katherine for Halloween!

Katherine: Ha! This means I'm better then you! People dress up as me for Halloween.

Alice: It just means your face is scary.

Katherine: *Flicks off Alice*

Moll: Yeah... Eric, Sookie, Jack and Wolverine you all rock, so do you Jeremy and the rest (Unless I genuinely forgot) of you can jump off the cliff with Bella!

Stefan: Ouch.

Mason: I'm not doing shit.

Lestat: Fall into my arms Stefan.

Tara: *Twitch while holding a gun*

Tyler: No wonder I was on Vacation.

Moll: Yeah, Ooo and read my story about TVD and Twilight :D Bye!

Okay! Bye Moll.

Heart-Broken-In-Love: ...Did you find out who killed you guys yet? *Sharpening golden dagger* When you do. Let me know *Smirks*

Caroline: Everyone back away because she got something sharp!

Heart-Broken: *Giggles* I have a picture book! *Reading Alice in Wonderland 3 year old picture book*

Caroline: …Never mind.

Heart-Broken: I may read at a college level but I like picture books better!

Same here.

Heart-Broken: I like bitchy Bella better.

Bella: *Coughs until a fish pops out her mouth* I…Hate…Pix!

Moll: *Laughs evilly in the background*

Heart-Broken: ...My chocolate craving isn't that bad... *Eating a bucket of chocolate ice cream, mixed with chocolate chips and chocolate bars*

Katherine: I want some!

Heart-Broken: …No. Chi, your right, we should get paid for writing our stories!

Yeah!

Fan fiction person: No.

Aw!

Heart-Broken: *Looks at Damon* Leave Chi alone, or the next to kill everyone your name will be added to the list. Got it? *Black eyes* You may be epic. But she's more epic.

Aw, I feel so special.

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

OW!

Heart-Broken: ...Jack...What's dead Zombieland?

Jack: *Laying on the ground*

Heart-Broken: He's not going to talk huh?

*Shrugs*

Heart-Broken: Katherine, I feel so bad for you being stuck in that stupid tomb, and then with Klaus being after you and now Elena... I don't really care that he's after Elena. She could get eaten by a hobo for all I care. **throws her on Lestat and sets them on fire*

Stefan & Tara: I OWE YOU ONE!

Heart-Broken: Gir, hunny, can you sing, Follow Me Down By #oh!3 with Chi?

Gir: OKAY!

Alright.

*Lighs go down and a spot light is on Gir and me*

Damon: Boooo!

Heart-Broken: *Slaps him in the head*

Gir: Take me take me outta here it makes me  
Feel so, feel so na na nana na

Baby baby here we all crazy  
You don't have to worry na na nana na

Gir: So follow me down  
Out of this town  
Girl you're moving way too slow  
So follow me down, I'll show you around  
There's a place we gotta go

Follow me, follow me  
Fa la-la-la-la

Follow me, follow me  
Fa la-la-la-la

Gir & Me: Dancing, walking clock keeps on talking  
They sing, they sing la la-la-la-la

Gentlemen and ladies, animals and babies  
We sing, we sing na na na-na-na

Damon: BOOO! *Throws a apple and hits me in the head*

Ow!

Heart-Broken: *Dances around* No school...til...What day is it...Well next year...in 2011

Yay! I don't start school till Jan. 10.

Heart-Broken: Hey Chi, have you read the book, Pride and Prejudice And Zombies?

Nope, but I want to check it out since it has zombies.

Jack: Oh No! That zombies are coming! The zombies are coming! *Stars taking off clothes and runs around*

You spiked his drink didn't you?

Damon: *laughs evilly*

Heart-Broken: ALICE! *Tackle Glomps* I want you to get me a cookie. *Giggles*

Alice: Okay.

Lestat: Hey Stefan!

Stefan: I'll call the police on you!

Lestat: But look, I'm wearing a thong for you!

Stefan: …*Throws up*

Heart-Broken: *Sees Stefan throw up and Throws up* God damn it! I don't like throw up... *Twitches*

Damon: *Throws up* Disgusting.

I see nothing wrong with that.

Damon: Pervert.

Bite me.

Damon: Don't temp me.

Heart-Broken: O_O Whoa, Charity you can be scary.

Damon: She has her moments but she is not scary.

Pam: Liar.

Damon: …

Heart-Broken: Eric and Lestat, Damon belongs to Pam...and the fan girls... *Doesn't want to get killed yet*

Eric: *Shrugs* I just love messing with them.

Lestat: But I love Stefan, Chi, and my pink flamingo.

Heart-Broken: And Stefan belongs to Tara...and the fan girls.

Lestat: Never!

Heart-Broken: ...Hehe...I like Dean's version of the song too!

Everybody goes night, night. Hehe.

Damon: Don't entertain that thought.

Heart-Broken: *Cocks head to side* Why is a fan girl gonna raise her shirt and show her boobs, if she doesn't have any? They remind me of quarters...

Random fan girl: …

Heart-Broken: *Looks at Jack* Yes Jack your clothes are off, and the miniature chipmunks that are invisible are slowly eating your body. *Innocent grin* And Edward took your clothes off and put the chipmunks on you.

Jack: …..OH MY GOD! *Starts slapping himself*

Everyone: …

Don't spike his drink ever again.

Damon: But it's fun to watch.

Heart-Broken: *High fives Crowley's Bitch* They should put up a chocolate stand for the pregnant fan girls….Oooooh A grizzly bear! *Hugs Bear* Hi Mr. Bear!

Why is there a bear here?

Damon: It's you cousin.

Heart-Broken: *Giggles* He's so soft.

…

Heart-broken: I like Lilith! Rogue, I have never heard of her but I like her.

I like her too.

Heart-Broken: O_O Damon got a vasectomy! *Da, da, daaaaaaa* Whoa...never would have saw that coming...

That's what he gets.

Damon: No more babies!

Good.

Pam: The last thing I need to be is a step mother to 100 kids.

Bonnie & Elena: *Nods*

Damon: Shut up.

*Screams*

Damon: What?

Stop pulling my hair!

Dante: It feels like I'm petting a sheep.

…Is this the Twilight effect I heard so much about because this dude is taller then me?

Nina: No it's just you.

Damon: Anyone is taller that you.

O.O!

Damon: Oh how time flies by.

Bonnie: No. A spell I did back fired and did this to them, it doesn't last long.

OW! Please get your son!

Damon: That's my boy!

Where are the other three?

Alice: Tying Damon Jr. to a tree.

Dominic: BWHAHAHAHA!

Damon Jr.: Wait till I get down!

Danny: What you gonna do? Sprinkle?

Damon Jr: Just you wait!

Heart-Broken: Rose reminds me of an old ugly, stupid fat unhappy version of Alice.

Alice: …

Heart-broken: Whoa and now Vampire-Diaries-Addict-Forever is reviewing? I know her! hehe she's on my role-play.

Oh. So who on here doesn't know anyone.

Damon: *shrugs* I think everyone on here knows how crazy the other one is. I kinda missed the Bonnie hater though, she added so much conflict.

Elena: Your not the only one.

Bonnie: Bite me.

Tyler: …I don't see why you guys are looking at me, I'm just gonna sit here with the other wolves.

Heart-Broken: Damon...did you say with Meg and Dia in the sky! *Dies* Meg and Dia's dead!

Damon: …Hey Chi Steve is…

Don't try it.

Alice: Side note. If you don't know who Steve then he is the English voice actor for Cloud on FF7.

And he plays Jason on my favorite show General Hospital. *Swoons*

Damon: *Trips me*

Ow!

Heart-broken: *Walks away from Seth and Jeremy and stands next to Ichigo* I'm going to stand next to you until Jeremy and Seth calm down...

Ichigo: As long as you don't rape me, I'm cool.

Heart-Broken: I don't make promises I can't keep.

Ichigo: Huh?

Heart-broken: *Slaps Edward and pins him too wall* What. Was. That. Supposed. To. Mean. *Hisses*

Edward: That you are an evil cow!

Heart-Broken: …*Kicks him**Sees Gir's red eyes* I want a hug from a red eyed Gir!

Gir: *Hugs Heart-broken*

Heart-Broken: Yay!

Just don't kill her!

Gir: Okay!

Heart-Broken: *Blinks* Chi whacha melting for?

Huh? *Presses fingers together and blushes* Nothing.

Heart-Broken: Stefan...how'd you know you can bribe me with Cookies? O.o

Stefan: Just a guess.

Heart-Broken: Ha-ha I got that Martini...That reminds me...takes out bottle of Vodka

Caroline: No!

Heart-Broken: Pfft. No fun. *Tilts the bottle* It's water.

Caroline: Oh.

Heart-Broken: Just kidding! *Try to take a drink but Jack takes it from her hand*

Jack: Ha-ha.

Heart-Broken: I like Katherine's real name. It's epic. *Pulls out another bottle*

Katherine: Thanks…I guess.

Heart-Broken: *Giggles* Bella went Boom.

Bella: *Rolls eyes*

Heart-Broken: *nods* I agree with Katherine. Men can not control us. Well can't control me unless they want there dick cut off. *Eyes flicker black and then back to normal*

Damon & Stefan: ….

Eric: *Shrugs*

Dean: *Cover his pants with his hands*

Heart-Broken: I don't like Dr. Phil...He should die. SOMEONE KILL HIM!... *Hops up and down* Christmas is in 7 days!

Damon: Late.

Shut up!

Heart-Broken: ...I just saw something Purple...and Fat...O_O IS BARNEY HERE!

Damon: Lady gaga is here?

Lady Gaga: *Slaps Damon*

….What….

Alice: Just happened?

Mason: *Shrugs*

Seth: …

Hannah: Chi I'm so glad you're back! I missed you!

Thanks.

Hannah: Dean I brought some Purple Nurples for you!

Dean: *Smiles* Thanks hun.

Castiel: ….

Hannah: Cas you are so adorable.

Castiel: At least I'm not dancing to horrid song.

Hannah: *Evil smile then turns to Damon* Damon I hope your fuck buddy Rose dies.

Damon: Ouch.

Hannah: Just telling the truth.

Damon: …

Hannah: It's piggyback time Puppy!

Sam: Crap.

Hannah: *Jumps on his back*

Sam: WHY!

Hannah: Bwhahahaha!

Damon: GO FASTER!

Sam: SHUT UP DAMON!

Hannah: Jeremy, Dude, you are so awesome.

Jeremy: Thanks! Bout time someone realized my greatness.

Damon: I still don't care.

Jeremy: Shut up. You don't have a soul so why should I care.

Damon: …Yeah.

Hannah: Tyler, Your transformation was so heart breaking! *hugs*

Tyler: Yeah. It hurt like hell.

Hannah: Caroline, you need to get back with Matt, pronto!

Caroline: No.

Hannah: Why no.

Caroline: Just no.

Hannah: Edward! *Glares at Edward* You stupid son of a bitch. Did you really think that I didn't see you watching me sleep last night? Dean's not going to be happy...

Dean: Yeah. *cracks his knuckles*

Edward: …

HeartsBreak: Hey guys! Awwwwww thanks for the birthday wishes! I love you guys well... except for , Fagward and Barney. if he comes back he's done!

Barney: But I LOVE YOU!

HeartsBreak: Rot in hell fat ass.

Everyone: O.O

HeartsBreak: sorry kids.

Hey! you're back!

HeartsBreak: yup!

So when are you leaving for Vacation?

HeartsBreak: This Wednesday. I'M GONNA MISS SOOOOO MUCH *CRYING*

Awwwww I'm going to miss you too!

HeartsBreak: what am i supposed to do for three fucked up weeks without you all?

THREE WEEKS?

HeartsBreak: yup =(

No! can't you stay?

HeartsBreak: no. my parents said that i have to and if i get pissed off about it, they're gonna leave me in the countryside.

Yikes that's frightening.

HeartsBreak: I know. They'd better be kidding.

For your sake, I hope so too.

HeartsBreak: Yeah.

By the way, happy late birthday

HeartsBreak: Thanks! Speaking of, in honor of my birthday I have cookie baskets for everyone except Fagward, Stefan, Chi and Damon

Nothing for me?

HeartsBreak: no. you get a chocolate cake oh and so doe Beatrix :)

Yay!

Stefan: What do I get?

HeartsBreak: You okay hold on. *hands huge bunny*

Stefan: *takes it* Thanks! Happy late birthday!

HeartsBreak: You're welcome! And thanks!

Damon: So... what's there for me?

HeartsBreak: nothing.

Damon: wow... after everything we've been through.

HeartsBreak: oh my gosh! what do you mean we i'm the one thats pregnant due in about a month!

Damon: Again, sorry.

HeartsBreak: ...

Elena, Bonnie and Caroline: Happy Birthday! we got you something!

HeartsBreak: Awwwwww! you didn't have to!

Elena, Bonnie and Caroline: Yes, we did. go on, open it!

HeartsBreak: Okay *opens it* Awwww! It's so pretty!

Everyone: What is it?

HeartsBreak: The first picture that the three of us took together! at that bar... ha-ha good times :)

Tara: You went to a bar when you were pregnant?

HeartsBreak: That was before this whole thing happened.

Damon: Again, sorry

HeartsBreak: Anyways thanks guys!

Tara: *whispers* So what's the plan?

HeartsBreak: You are going to hit on Damon. Stefan will be jealous and admit his feelings

Tara: Ew. Damon? Anyways I'll do it! Are you sure?

HeartsBreak: Positive.

Tara: Okay... *walks up to Damon* god you're hot!

Stefan: *Twitch*

HeartsBreak: *giggles*

Damon: you're not so bad either beautiful.

Tara: *giggles* Backroom?

Stefan: NO!

Tara: Why do you care Stefan?

Stefan: Because I'm in love with you!

Tara: *shyly* really?

Stefan: Yes.

Tara: Good cause I love you too.

Stefan: Then what was that whole thing with Damon just then?

Tara: just shut up and kiss me i don't give a shit about Damon i love you.

Damon: Umm... ouch?

HeartsBreak: *giggles*

Stefan: It was one of Heartbreak's plans wasn't it?

Tara: Yup!

HeartsBreak: *smiles and waves*

Stefan: Oh who gives? *kisses Tara*

Tara: *pulls away then runs over to HeartsBreak* thank you

HeartsBreak: You're welcome

Damon: You mean that you told her to hit on me. And THEN reject me for STEFAN?

HeartsBreak: Yeah pretty much.

Damon: O.O

HeartsBreak: You're welcome.

Damon: Never said thanks

HeartsBreak: Whatever.

Alice: hey! Long time, no see!

HeartsBreak: I know!

Alice: where have you been?

HeartsBreak: around.

Alice: wow. New plan to kill my brother?

HeartsBreak: you're smart. But its not coming until next month

Alice: damn!

HeartsBreak: I like you!

Edward: I should get my ass out of here

HeartsBreak: nope. Stay where you are. I'm coming to you shortly.

Edward: just my luck.

HeartsBreak: shit, yeah

Everyone: O.O

HeartsBreak: hey Jacob! come here for a minute!

Jacob: yeah?

HeartsBreak: my Best Friend Shania is like, in love with you and she told me to guve you this *kisses him*

Jacob: thanks...

HeartsBreak: don't thank me thank Shania.

Hey, is there anything you can do to get that psychopath off our backs?

HeartsBreak: not yet...

Everyone: YES!

HeartsBreak: What?

Damon: well whenever you say that, one of your amazing plans is involved.

HeartsBreak: Oh. then yay!

Bonnie: It's true. I may hate Damon, but your plans are amazing

HeartsBreak: Thank you bonnie. Speaking of Bonnie, how's rejection feeling Jer?

Jeremy: Horrible.

Bonnie: umm... what does that have to do with me?

HeartsBreak: uh... you rejected him.

Bonnie: Oooh... sorry

Jeremy: Yeah.

HeartsBreak: Awwwwww sorry Jeremy *hugs him*

Jeremy: its okay

HeartsBreak: Where's Matt I have something to say

Matt: here

HeartsBreak: yes, i heard you're going to be killed off.

Matt: why does everyone keep saying that?

HeartsBreak: Uh... that's what the producers say.

Matt: Awwww!

HeartsBreak: its okay *hugs him* want a cookie?

Matt: yay cookie!

HeartsBreak: speaking of killing, where's Edward?

Edward: here.

HeartsBreak: excellent *blows Edward to sparkles* say hi to Barney and Dr. Phil mother fucker!

Tyler: nice.

HeartsBreak: know what would be nice?

Tyler: what?

HeartsBreak: You dating Caroline... or ME!

Tyler: we'll see.

HeartsBreak: Yay! Wait which one

Tyler: Dating you *winks*

HeartsBreak: *giggles*

Damon: *twitch*

HeartsBreak: twitching isn't good for you darling.

Pam: BACK OFF!

HeartsBreak: *sighs* Anyways I have to go now. I'll see you guys in three weeks *sniffles* bye

Bonnie: *cries* have fun okay?

HeartsBreak: I will bye bonnie.

Elena: *sobs* we'll see you soon

HeartsBreak: Yeah. and I'll tell you all about it when i get back.

Elena: okay bye *hugs HeartsBreak*

HeartsBreak: *hugs back* bye.

Caroline: *sniffles* bye. Hope you find a cute guy when you're there

HeartsBreak: me too *laughs*

Damon: bye love,

HeartsBreak: Goodbye Damon.

Damon: what no hug?

HeartsBreak: *kisses Damon on the cheek* *softly* bye.

*sobs I'm going to miss you so much!

HeartsBreak: me too! but I'm taking my iPod so I'll check in when I can

You'd better.

HeartsBreak: i will.

Bye Love. *hugs HeartsBreak*

HeartsBreak: *hugs back* bye.

Tara: thanks again for what you did today. bye.

HeartsBreak: you're welcome bye oh, and Katherine *throws Katherine a bottle of Booze* happy new year.

Castiel: No.

Katherine: Too late. Open it slave.

Kaname: Yes mistress.

FutureActressKS: Damon *hug* I missed you!

Pam: I didn't.

Future: Don't care. Gir I would party but I shouldn't.

Gir: Why?

Future: I'm pregnant. *Glares at Eric*

Eric: *Smirks*

Future: *Rolls eyes then kisses Jacob and Seth* you guys look bored.

Seth: We are!

Jacob: I feel unwanted.

Katherine: Come to my arms.

Kaname: *Mouths out* No.

Jacob: I don't feel that un wanted.

Seth: Same here.

XxspoiiledheartXx: Chi- if yu ever take tht long again i will personally kill yu.

*Looks around then point to myself*

Spoiiled: Yeah.

Okay. *Then hides behind Eric*

Eric: *Chuckles*

Spoiiled: Edward- Im a good height for my age so wats yur excuse yu think no one noticed bella's taller then yu.

Edward: Hater alerlt.

Spoiiled: Shut up and be a man and not a fairy! Tinkerbell could beat your ass!

Edward: Oh I'm so scared!

Spoiiled: *Glares at Edward* You better be. You too, Chi.

Sorry!

Spoiiled: Damon- yu better not get anotuer girl pregnant cuz yur mine and i will let Chi kill yu.

Yeah!

Spoiiled: Stefan- ok as long as I get a present for Christmas.

Stefan: Okay, can it be fore New Years instead. *Holds a big box*

Spoiiled: … Bonnie- Hi :D

Bonnie: What's up?

Spoiiled: Peace out guys.

Bye!

Crowley's Bitch 13: Hi everyone! How's it going?

Damon: Good.

Pretty Good.

Eric: I'm bored.

Crowley's Bitch: So for the questions from last chapter which were:

Chi: How many kids is it?

Me: it's three kids Crowley's, Sam's and Dean's

Damon: Should I buy a puppy?

Yes, yes you should.

Damon: Good.

You can't kill it.

Damon: *Evil smirk*

Peta will come and get you.

Damon: If there not coming for Stefan…

Peta person: I'm watching you.

Damon: …Huh?

Told you. They are vicious.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi it's my birthday January 18th so can u please do a chapter on that day for a birthday present for me?

Okay!

Crowley's Bitch: Chi do you realize that you haven't put them on a show in forever an it's called show they can't do together!

…But I did True Blood on Thanksgiving…didn't I.

Damon: She said you suck and your lazy.

But the only reason I didn't have a show for the last one because my computer died and took my stuff with it.

Damon: No excuses…weakling.

Pfft.

Crowley's Bitch: *starts drinking a mojto* Im going to kill these little fuckers for putting me in so much pain!

Dean: Don't kill them!

Crowley's Bitch: Pfft. Crowley, I want to be your queen of hell an if anyone objects they can suck it!

Sam: I have an….*Gets hit by Castiel* Go ahead.

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone I'm in a very pissed over mood cause of the babies!

Damon: We can tell.

Please stop pulling my hair.

Dante: Say Baa.

No.

Dante: *Pulls my hair harder*

Baaaaaaaaa.

Dante: *Laughs*

Bonnie: Just like he's dad.

Crowley's Bitch: *mailman comes in* OH YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! I refuse to believe this. *Crowley take paper from her and starts reading aloud*:

What's it say?

Crowley's Bitch: The person know as Crowley's Bitch 13 is the archangel Michael's daughter.

…Wow. Four. Must suck be time.

Crowley's Bitch: You guessed?

*Takes a step back*

Crowley's Bitch: Bye guys…I need something stronger.

Um…okay.

LeLeluvrsGlee: HIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii! What's up everybody?

Damon: Great. Your back.

LeLe: Chi, your a fucking awesome writer despite what anybody says. And I don't give a fuck about your grammar because your fanfics are pretty damn awesome! So keep writing.

Thanks.

LeLe: Damon At the moment your cool with me. I'm actually like you right now. But if you have one smart remark I'll castrate you and serve your dick to Eric on a silver platter. -smiles sweetly-

Damon: …You are trying to befriend me then kill me or your are actually being nice.

LeLe: Katherine I'm on thin ice with you so basically if you say something bad to me I'll cut your stomach open and deliver your baby myself.

Katherine: Bite me! Now get this thing out of me before I eat you. Whole.

LeLe: Castiel I feel so sorry that your child is being born by the devils spawn.

Castiel: At least someone feels my pain.

LeLe: Stefan, STAY AWESOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEE! LIKE SERIOUSLY YOU'RE THE CHIZ!

Damon: Bwhahahaha.

Stefan: I hope she smites you.

Damon: Like she would.

LeLe: Oh. I would. Caroline I LOVEEE HOW FREAKIN AWESOME YOU ARRE-hugs-

Caroline: Awww!

LeLe: Jeremy: -tackles with hugs- Your the best. Bonnie needs to realize that.

Bonnie: On here I do.

LeLe: Still I'm waiting till that gets on the show.

Bonnie: *Sighs*

LeLe: Tyler I'm starting to like you so on screw it up.

Tyler: Um…Okay.

LeLe: Elena, you're cool with me. So you do have ONE fan on this earth.

Elena: Thank you! We could have an Elena fan club.

Bella: I want one too.

Random person: GO AWAY!

Bella: …

LeLe: Jack: Let's go get wasted! -Drags Jack to back room with booze-

Jack: Yay!

BeatrixMayfeir: CHIIIIIIII! *comes flying and hugs you tight* I missed you so much! I won't let you go for the rest of the chapter! Oh sorry for the sleeping beauty thing, I didn't think Damon would hit you so hard *glares at Damon*

Damon: *looks at her with an odd face* why the hell are you floating?

Beatrix: * Twitch * I've been like this since morning! I woke up on the roof of my damn room and I can't come down! Cas say something to your son!

Crowley: That's the problem with being pregnant of an angel!

Beatrix: Shut up you! Yesterday I sneezed and set a Christmas tree on fire! And you don't want to know what happens when I… HICCUP * disappears with Chi since they were still holding hands*

Cas & Crowley: Oh crap!

Beatrix: *Reappear wearing kimonos and eating ramen * Sorry Chi, I can't control it! At least we ended up in Japan and not on the Etna like last week! God I feel like a human TARDIS!

Damon: *Twitch* Ha-Ha…your dead.

What!

Beatrix: *Goes to Cas and slaps him* You killed Crowley!

Cas: *pouts* I did not! He asked me to fake his death so Sam and Dean and others demons like Meg would leave him alone!

Beatrix: Oh ok! *slaps him again* You kissed Meg!

Cas: Ow! Yeah I know, blame the pizza-man and the fact that Dean wasn't available! Won't happen again I swear!

Beatrix: Good *grabs him and makes out* God, you're too damn hot to be angry with *drags him and Chi to the backroom* Told you I won't let you go!

Eric: Wait! Can I come too?

Beatrix: Do you need to ask? *grins*

*after a couple hours*

Beatrix: Wow *looks at Eric and Cas* you two together… wow! *gives a dvd to Sookie* you want to watch that, trust me and then we will sell it and become millionaires!

By the way I suggested baby names to everyone and now I don't know how to name Cas' baby boy! Crowley's will be Dimitri and Eric's girl will be Charity Rogue, but Cas'? Maybe Lucas or Aidan or Damien? Which one do you prefer Cas? I can't choose!

Castiel: Lucas sounds good.

Damon: That sucks.

Beatrix: Damon and Pam congratulations *hands Pam their gift for the marriage* I'm sure that Damon will love it, it's La Perla!

Pam: Thank you!

Future: …

Pam: *Growls*

Beatrix: You know Damon, Rose is so much better then Elena! I'm proud of you! But I'm afraid she won't live for long!

I kinda liked her.

Damon: She was fun….oh well.

Rose: Nice. Assholes.

Beatrix: Oh Chi, do you read yaoi? I've found this yaoi "the tyrant who fall in love" and it's the best one I've ever read! And did you know "uragiri wa boku no namae wo shitteiru"? It' awesome and Luka is hot like hell! And so are Tsukumo , Hotsuma, Shusei, Takashiro, Reiga… everyone in short! God they are all hot in that anime!

I need to see that!

Damon: Oh no you don't. Your already perverted we don't need anymore.

*Stick tongue out*

Beatrix: Ehi Rogue *kisses you* you know I searched Lilith too sometime after SPN season 4 and, in addiction of what you said, I found that for the Jews she was a female demon who like too kill baby boys and three angels (Senoy, Sansenoy and Semangelof) had the powers to fight her. So *looks at Cas* why didn't you send them to fight Lilith?

Cas: like Dean usually says, they are… dicks!

Beatrix: Oh, right! Aleister Crowley described her as a succubus and somewhere else I read that she was the first vampire! Oh and she left Adam to have sex with Lucifer! She's an interesting bitch!

Wow. Need to read into this too.

Damon: No.

Beatrix: Cookieeeeeee *hugs her* thank you! You're totally forgiven and I will not kill you for that little trick! By the way what's Tic Tac Toe?

Tic tac toe three in a row. A game which is played with x's and o's in three columns…

Damon: You suck at explain things.

Well you do it.

Damon: six line, forms six boxs, play with X's and o's to get three in a row.

I hate you.

Beatrix: Ok I have to go! Bye and Marry Christmas everyone if we don't see you again before it! Bye Chi *blows a kiss*

Bye!

Future: Eric I really don't like you...

Eric: Stop lying to yourself.

Future: *Sighs* Damon, but I know I love you! *hug* Always, forever. *sigh*

Pam: I don't like her.

Future: And I hate you the most Edward. *Smashes his brains in with fist* And don't ever mess with me.

Bella: *Claps her hands* Bout damn time!

Rogue: Well welcome back to the living Chi - I thought as much that you needed a break  
I took a hiatus from Dancing with Darkness and Moonflower as well but I'm back and

working it.

I was driving myself crazy with it. I guess I never knew how much I needed to be away from the stories for awhile.

Rogue: Damon, Pam, Eric - you guys are simply the best.

Lestat: Well break my heart why don't you.

Rogue: I never liked you.

Lestat: …

Rogue: Dean - you're a fag, Sam - you're a transvestite, John - you are the father of homos (Wonder what that says about you).

John: The problem is not that their Homos…it's that they're screwing each other.

Dean: But I'm over it Dad!

Sam: …No your not! You was in bed with me last night!

Castiel: *Throws a chair at Sam*

So Cas is the other woman…I mean man?

Caroline: Seems so.

Tyler: Just don't bring that craziness over to our area. This is the wolf corner.

Um…why?

Tyler: Just cause.

…Okay? If you say so.

Damon: That's sad. You should find another room…like…not here.

Tyler: *Boredly* Ha-ha.

Rogue: Katherine - The poor kid - I hope Castiel takes her away from you once she's born.

Katherine: And I hope she eats him! *Holding up a chocolate bunny*

You know…the bunny takes away from the scariness…

Katherine: *Bites the head off the bunny*

*Screams*

Katherine: *Evil laugh*

Rogue: Charity - you make a mean martini how about a bloody mary?

I…

Damon: Sit down and let a man do this one.

…You suck.

Damon: You have a nice mouth.

…Pam!

Pam: I'm not in this.

Rogue: Bella - Just please die - no one cares about you, you suck monkey balls just like Elena.

Elena: Hey! I'm better than her!

Bella: Bitch please.

Rogue: Elena - Die as well please you suck as much as Bella.

Elena: I do not!

Bella: I'm better than you!

Elena: Don't lower me to your level you brain dead whore!

Bella: *tackles Elena*

Rogue: Bill - Tutu on and dance.

Bill: Crap she saw me.

Rogue: Edward - Tutu on!

Edward: I know, I know. Tutu and other crap.

Rogue: *Kicks him* Start dancing. *presses a button and 'Dancing Queen' song plays*

Everyone: Bwhahaha!

Edward: I hate you all! *Twirls*

Rogue: Just keep dancing! Lestat - Go crawl under the same rock Louis did and die.

Lestat: NEVER!

Rogue: Crowley - I think Cas killing you was almost as awesome as the kiss between Cas and Meg HOT.

Crowley: Ow, you wounded my soul…oh never mind then. Never really cared.

Rogue: Jeremy - You're boring - stop trying to be Indiana Jones and try to find a real girlfriend instead of chasing after chicks who are clearly not in your league.

Jeremy: What's wrong with adventure?

Damon: You suck.

Jeremy: Go find a girl who isn't a hoe…no offense.

Elena: A LOT!

Rogue: Alice - Always a pleasure - I think you should redecorate the nursery.

Alice: I know! Because Bonnie, Elena, and Katherine, who's an evil bitch….

Katherine: *Eating chocolate*

Alice: Have no sense in what colors should be in the babies room.

*Looks outside* I have a bad feeling.

Damon: Keep it to yourself. Last time we died from your bad feeling.

…

Rogue: Bonnie - You bore me *Rogue snaps fingers and Bonnie starts Belly dancing*

Damon: Nice! *Damon starts recording the dance*

Rogue: *Points at Stefan* Stefan - go hide under the same rock I told Lestat to find Louis under.

Stefan: No fucking way. Send my somewhere else if you have to.

Lestat: Come on lover.

Stefan: …

Rogue: Jack - Have a bottle on Rum on me.

Jack: *Has thumbs up*

Rogue: That's all you have to say?

Jack: *Spit some booze on the floor* My mouth was full love.

JACK!

Jack: I'll clean it up love. At least I do that.

Rogue: Gir - Katherine said she REALLY wants to hug you *Gir's eyes go red and he put Kat in a death hug*

Kaname: Yes now I can escape like Ichigo!

Katherine: Come back here! Ahhhh someone help!

Alice: *Eats popcorn* So fun.

Caroline: Revenge bitch!

Rogue: Charity - not that I wouldn't mind her dead but baby Casterine is in her…

Alice & Caroline: Awwww.

Rogue: And we wouldn't want her dead - BTW when is the little bundle of joy arriving Cas and who will be doing the delivery?

Castiel: I'll probably be doing the delivery since there is no way in hell I'm holding her hand.

Katherine: *Flips him off*

Castiel: It seems she'll give birth next year.

Awww. I just hope she doesn't eat me.

Katherine: Very tempted.

Rogue: Castiel - I think you and Meg should reproduce...

Katherine: No. We don't need another one of these monsters running around and messing up stuff!

Caroline: Which I'm sensing is code for I really don't care, I'm just happy to have a baby.

Katherine: Die blonde!

Rogue: Tara - Lets go out drinking some time

Tara: Sure.

Jack: Not without me you don't!

Rogue: SOrry Jacko - girls only

Jack: *Jack comes out wearing a red dress* Call me Jackie.

Damon: That's desperate.

Stefan: Like when…

Damon: Shut up!

Bob: When last were you fed? *Pokes a bunny*

Rogue: Charity don't neglect the animals on the show, we have dozens of bunnies and bears and mountain lions that are on the verge of starvation - you want PETA up your ass?

…No. Late time I had to pay them money. There like the Mob for pets.

Peta: I'm watching you.

O.O?

Damon: Bring it on!

Peta: *Pulls out a lighter* Look Damon.

Damon: What.

*Flash*

Peta: That is all.

Everyone: …

Damon: My eyes!

Rogue: Sookie - Eric is public property - we're all going to screw him - aint that right sugar

Eric: Why does the hunter now feel like the hunted... *Eric steps back from invading Team Eric fangirls*

Eric Fangirls: We will get you! *fangirls start stripping*

Damon: Why can't my fangirls do that?

Stefan: Your fangirls are more like jailbait

Rogue: Kinda like Justin Biebers fangirls - gosh I hate that kid. Do you know there are full grown ass women with kids who drool over him come on they're between 40 and 50 and getting wet for a 16 year old - lets shoot them!

Katherine: I think he's rapeable!

Why would you say such a thing!

Katherine: Because I want to rape to so how much he cries.

…I don't even want to talk about this anymore.

Katherine: Good for you.

Rogue: FYI Steffy when am I ever friendly? Just cause I have my moments don't make me friendly now go feed my crocs before I feed you to them.

Stefan: Fine, fine.

Rogue: *Twitch* Bill, Edward when the fuck did I tell you to stop dancing - you can only stop when Pam tell you to stop and when Pam tells you to change you style of dancing you change!

Pam: Cha cha! *Bill and Edward start to cha cha in their bright pink Tutu's*

Rogue: So no supernatural or VD till late January... no problem I have been watching Fringe - OMG that series is SO awesome! I think Walter is BRILLIANT his character is insane yet sane... WOW - Do you watch Fringe Charity?

Only a few episodes. I haven't been able to catch it since school started.

Rogue: Aahhhh - Well Sookie lets just say I used that sword to kill Bill - I cut him in half it was SOOOOOOOO cool.

Bill: …

Rogue: Keep dancing!

Pam: Tango!

Bill & Edward: No.

Rogue: *Evil smirk* Chi they messed up your room!

*Demon voice* WHAT?

Bill: *Grabs Edward and starts dancing*

Rogue: Oh FYI my birthday was on Dec 9th.

Oh I'm so sorry! Happy late birthday!

Rogue: And Stefan when the fuck are you going to stop complaining about me being mean to you? I don't like you live with it and grow some balls you turd.

Stefan: I give up! *Throws a big piece of meat at the crocs*

Rogue: Heart-broken not that I don't enjoy making you scream you're just not my type I have Beatrix now aint that right honey *Rogue makes out with Beatrix* Hey Castiel and Sam - how about the two of you dance off with Bill and Edward?

Pam: Fox Trot! *Edward and Bill start foxtroting*

Edward and Bill: Bring it we will wipe the floors with you!

Katherine: *Stuffs Sam and Castiel in yellow Tutu's then grabs Castiel by the neck* You better win this for the baby!

Rogue: Okay The dance of song is Imma Be by Black Eyed Peas and the competition will commence at the end of the show - the prize is a night with the lovely... CHARITY!

Why me!

Pam: Cause we love fucking with you ain't that right baby?

Damon: *Smooches Pam* you got it honey.

Rogue: So what wedding gifts did y'all get for Damon and Pam? I got them a free access pass to the blood bank for life!

I don't know what to get you guys? When is the wedding anyways?

Damon: Kill your boyfriend and that's the best present ever.

Lestat?

Damon: Just kill him.

…No.

Rogue: FYI - Dean I don't care how you feel either - you're a pussy - die! *Rogue shoots of Deans boy parts*

Dean: Help! Daddy!

John: NO! Sam had a sex change and now Dean's bits have been blown off! The Winchester name is gone! *John dies... again...*

Rogue: So Castiel what do you think of the name Casterine? Don't know what you're going to use as a last name maybe something that's close to heavenly like Casterine Paradise or Casterine Promisedland - something like that...

Castiel: I haven't thought about last names.

Katherine: It's going to be Gilbert.

Castiel: …No.

Katherine: You wanna die!

Castiel: Smite her.

Katherine: *Screams*

Rogue: Hey Chi...

Huh?

Rogue: *Rogue grabs Chi and makes out with her* You really do taste like oreos...

Pam: Let me try *Pam kisses Chi* Wait I don't eat Human food so I wouldn't know..

Caroline: Let me *Caroline makes out with Chi* Yep Oreo...

*Out cold on the floor*

Damon: Is she alive?

Alice: *Pokes Chi with a stick* Time will tell.

Rogue: Hey Eric - backroom NOW!

Eric: *Smirk* So fun.

Rogue: Catch you guys later!

Bye! I hope you had a good birthday!

MinaFTW: Hey Charity, you know what we need? Tyler in this story with Caroline!

Tyler: I've been here, I just haven't been talkative.

Caroline: Same here. Give us more lines Chi.

I am!

Mellisa: OMSC COOKIESS! *Tackles* FUCK YEAAAAAA!

Damon: Huh?

Mellisa: WAIT-I WAS IN THE SKY! I CAN FLY *JUMPS OFF ROOF* OUCH MOTHA FUCK! DAMN U DAMON!

Damon: What? You wanna pick a fight with me?

Chances are that she would win.

Damon: Shut up.

Mellisa: UR NAME DAMON WITHOUT THE O IS DAMN HAHAHAH.

Damon: You're on my list now.

Mellisa: KATIE UR PREGO! U HAVE TO BE SHITTING ME! AND ITS DAMON'S FOR CHRISTS SAKE! WE ARE ALL GUNNA DIE! OKAY WELL...UPDATE SOON

Damon: No! No more kids! No!

Jeremy: It's my kid.

Seth: Asshole.

Jeremy: You want to fight?

Seth: Bring it!

Vie: I'm baaacckk! LOL! Hello all!

Hi!

Vie: Elena, what's your prob, why did you "twitch" when I kissed Damon? WTF, I don't care...***Vie grabs Damon and gets on top of him and kisses him in front of Elena, passionately*** *Vie smirks*

Elena: *Twitch* Pam!

Pam: I don't mind at all.

Vie: Bonnie, really sorry you had to see that cuz you're my girl and all and I want you to be happy and NEVER want you to be mad at me. It's just Elena pissed me off and pay back is a biotch! :) ***Vie gives Bonnie a basket full of witchy goodies*** Now, we good?

Bonnie: We're good. Keep on doing what makes you happy.

Vie: Tara, sup girlie? **Vie gives Tara a pretty Donna Karan black dress with stilettos to wear for Stefan** I know you like Stefan and he so likes you! Go get that!

Tara: All right!

Lestat: What about me?

Tara: *Shoots him* Bastard.

Vie: Stefan, my handsome brotha from anotha motha...no one says this and I felt you needed to hear it...I LOVE YOU! **Vie gives Stefan a life supply of fox slurpees*** Who loves ya baby?...I do ;)

Stefan: Thanks!

Vie: Chi, my favorite author! I have to work Xmas Eve and Xmas Day :( But I am off New Year's Eve so life's Goooood! I really can't complain.

That's good to hear.

Vie: Damon, I'm acting on my promise...it's later and I need my fix ;P 100 Thanks for wishing me a happy b-day; you're too cute. Where's my gift? I still love you! **Vie gives Damon another mind blowing kiss**

Damon: That's my gift to you! Who wouldn't want a kiss from me?

That's just cheap.

Dante: *Pulls my hair*

OW! When are you gonna turn back into a baby!

Damon: I'm proud of him!

Bonnie: *Sighs* Stop!

Dante: Yes mom.

Vie: Sam and Dean, hey sweets! Dean, I'm sorry Rogue is abusing you but whenever she does, just go to your happy place and think of me on top of your AWESOME car with nothing but a black bow on with black roses surrounding me. That should make everything better :P

Dean: I don't think I could be in my happy place for long. She went after the kiwis this time.

Sam: She turned me into a girl! Evil!

Alice: I like her.

John: That's because she's nice to you.

Vie: Jackie, you're such a cutie. **Vie gives Jack some Parrot Bay Rum with a promise to give him Captain Morgan's Rum later** ;)

Jack: I love all my fangirls! *cries with a bottle in hand* I would like to thank everyone who has gotten me drunk in everyway.

Everyone: …

Gir: *claps* Yay!

Vie: Alice, what is going on with you? Haven't found your Prince Charming yet? And, why does Rose have your hairdo? For a minute, I thought you was sleeping with Damon too. I know...don't bite me for that. I may have drunk too much of Jack's Rum. :D

Alice: I don't like Damon. I'm with Eric:

Sookie: No…you're not.

Alice: You wanna bet?

Sookie: *Tackles Alice*

Vie: …HAPPY HOLIDAYS ALL! PS: Damon why does it matter that Bonnie was "slutting" it up at the strip club? What are you REALLY trying to say? She's single, beautiful and isn't it about time she is shown that she is appreciated? BTW, a man can do what we did that night and be labeled "cool" but when we do it just once (I might add), we are labeled "sluts"? Why? Just curious.

Damon: I'm a slut too so way should I care.

Bonnie: Because you do.

Damon: Fine I admit I have a small feeling for you but I'm not going to act on it.

Bonnie: Why don't you tell that to…

Damon: Shut up!

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes*

Vie: Bye all, **Vie hugs and kisses everyone she didn't mention**

Gir: Yay free kisses!

Katherine: …

Kaname: Please save me!

Katherine: That will never happen my sweet.

Future: *smashes a bowling ball on Eric's head*

Eric: Talk about a way to say hello.

Future: Damon I'd rather you be the father of my baby.

Bonnie: Are you insane?

Future: Insanely in love with-

Eric: ME!

Damon: *twitch*

Eric: Future and Damon have the hotts for me.

Future: It was one night.

Eric: *Smirks* Liar.

Future: *ignores Eric* Edward you miss me?

Edward: No. Go away. Like now.

Future: Katherine you are my bff now, give me a total makeover.

I don't think it's…

Katherine: *Pushes me out the way* I hope you know what you're praying for.

Future: On second thought! Pam! it is an open marriage, I can love Damon if I want to.

Elena: *twitch*

Eric: *pulls Future onto his lap*

Damon: watch the hands!

Eric: There's plenty of me to go around.

Caroline: Damon, jealous much?

Future: I totally miss wearing my team Damon cheerleading outfit.

Damon: *yanks Future away from Eric*

Mason: Future, marry me...

Say Yes!

Damon: *slaps her in the back of her head*

Caroline: This is so entertaining.

Future: *snaps fingers and music comes on*

Damon: *singing* my love, there's only you in my life, the only things that's right.

Future: my first love, you're every breath that I take, you're every step I make...

Katherine: BORING! *Yawns*

Caroline: Way to ruin a moment!

Pam: Don't make me punch your face in!

Caroline: No!

Pam: Preggo or not, the boy is mine!

Future: I loved Damon from day one! And I still do.

Pam: *twitch* Good for you.

Future: *cuddles up to Damon* will rest for now. *hands him a baby kitten* don't let Stefan eat my Christmas gift for you. I know it's not much, but it's the thought that counts I guess.

Jack: I need booze!

Future: You don't need it, you want it.

Jack: I NEED BOOZE!

Caroline: *shoves him away* You and Damon are so adorable!

Mason: *Sweeps Future off her feet*

Caroline: I thought you died...

Future: PUT ME DOWN! *cries*

Caroline: I think you should give Future an xmas gift!

Future: I'm just not that into you.

Mason: *hands her a beautiful white rose* a present for the lovely lady.

Eric: *drags Damon, Stefan, and Future to backroom*

Katherine: *follows after them* I'm extremely bored! You don't need Future, Eric.

Gir: *chokes Pam* I want a waffle! *squeezes till her face turns blue*

…What is going on?

*2 hours later*

Eric:* walks out of backroom. Katherine and Stefan walk out as well*

O.o where's Damon and future.

*lights go out*

Gir: Let's do the time warp again *dances away*

Wait. What just happened?

Lestat: *cries* I got left out.

Stefan: Why would I be in a room with Eric, he's trying to rape me too.

Lestat: No fair!

Tara: Please die.

xGleekForever: HEY CAN U BRING CAROLINE&TAYLOR IN THIS STORY ? =D

Caroline: But I am here.

Tyler: Do you mean me?

Jacob: Or the person who plays me?

Damon: The person who plays with you.

Jacob: *Let's out a breath* I hate you.

Damon: Good luck with that.

BroadwayAngelLyric: Chi, don't worry, you're on my list of people to live even though that long hiatus made me think on that. -raises eyebrow- But I'm so glad you're back, this fanfic is just a great surge of joy for me.

Thanks…I think.

Katherine: Join the club, you ain't the only one who wants to kill her.

Who else wants to kill me?

Katherine: Everyone in the kill Chi club.

…

Broadway: Damonnnnnnn, you don't know how much I missed you and your badass comments and personality. -hugs Damon-

Damon: Ha-ha. Like I'm going let them bastard tie me down!

Stefan: Your not all that badass.

Damon: Name one person.

Stefan: Jet Li.

I love him!

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head* Name one other person then.

Stefan: Chuck Norris.

Damon: ….

Broadway: And Katherine, my teacher in "Women In Power 101", you're still one of my female icons!

Katherine: I like this girl.

Broadway: Jack, you talked quite a bit last chapter. Some of the other cast members need to get awesome like you. Let's get freakin plastered! Vodka on mee!

Jack: Thanks my love.

Tyler: Not gonna cry again are you?

Jack: *Holds the bottle* Nah. *Drinks it*

Broadway: Gir, me and you are long overdue for a breakfast at IHOP. Pancakes with strawberries and strawberry syrup sound good to me.

Gir: Yay! PANCAKES!

Broadway: Again, Castiel, you should be honored to have Katherine as your baby mama.

Castiel: No. I don't.

Katherine: I don't either.

Broadway: Stefan, I probably missed you the most, you're always a refresher from all the crazy. -hugs Stefan-

Stefan: Thanks.

Broadway: Lestat and Eric, sorry guys but ALL Salvatore asses are off limits! K? Thanks

Lestat: Stefan is mine! All mine.

Damon: You're hearing this?

*Shrugs* I kinda don't even care anymore.

Broadway: Jeremy, I'm handing you a tranquilizer, shoot Mason's wolfy ass while I distract Tyler.

Jeremy: Sure.

Broadway: Sooooo, Tyler, how's being a werewolf, your love life, the works? *whispers*Jeremy, hurry!

Jeremy: *Stabs Mason in the neck with the tranquilizer*

Mason: OW! I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS!

Tyler: *Boredly* Oh no, he's dying….again.

Broadway: Bob, my little bunny come here while I feed you John's soul, there's nothing left to it since his sons have gone gaga for each other.

Dean: Ouch.

Sam: I don't care one bit.

Broadway: Sam, Edward, Bill, and Bella, since it's the holidays, I allowing you each 3 seconds to scram.

Sam, Edward, Bill, & Bella: *Runs*

-Bella's clumsy ass trips herself up so Lyric beheads the bitch with a rusty chainsaw-

O.o

Broadway: Well, that's it for now, love you guys! Well, most of you.

Scary.

Alice: I thought it was cute.

She's covered in blood.

Alice: Adorable!

…Well guys are show is over. I would like to thank MissMollyCullen, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Breakfastclub85, HeartBreakInLove, FutureActressKS, xXspoiiledheartXx, Crowley's Bitch 13, LeLeluvrGlee…

Damon: BeatrixMayfeir, Rogue Assasin, MinaFTW, Vie, xGleekForever, and BroadwayAngelLyric for reviews.

Alice: Happy super late birthday to Rogue!

Tyler & Caroline: We hope you have a happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!

This is our last show for 2010 and hope to do more in 2011. I love my reviewers and readers. Thanks for giving this crazy story a chance and thanks for the support. So guys one more time.

Sam: 3!

Jacob: 2!

Seth: 1!

Everyone: HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Hope to see you guys next year. *Blows a kiss*

Jack: Bring more booze!

Peace!

Tara: Love!

Mason: I'M ALIVE!

…Bye guys!


	76. Full Metal Ironman?

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Full Metal Alchemist!

Stefan: Wow! A normal setting.

Damon: Nothing is normal.

Stefan: But…

Damon: NOTHING!

Edward: RUN AL!

Alphonse: OKAY!

Damon: What are they running from?

Stefan: All I sense is a little girl.

Winery: ED! AL! *Throws a wrench*

Stefan: *Gets hit in the face*

Damon: …BWHAHAHAHAHA!

Stefan: *Growls*

Winery: *Runs up to Stefan with her hands covering her mouth* Oh my god! I'm so sorry!

Stefan: I-it's okay! *Looks at Damon* OH MY GOD! THERE'S TWO DAMONS! THE WORLD IS ENDING!

Damon & Winery: ….

Stefan: SAVE YOURSELVES! *Runs away*

Damon: Well you can see that my brother isn't okay.

Winery: What can I do?

Damon: Give me your number.

Winery: *Blushes* W-what?

Damon: Please give me your…*Gets kicked in the head*

Alphonse: ED!

Damon: Did an ant kick me?

Edward: WHAT DID YOU SAY? DID YOU CALL ME AN ANT!

Damon: Well if the over size boots fits.

Stefan: *Pokes Alphonse* Are you Iron Man?

Alphonse: Who is that?

Edward: *Claps his hands and forms a spear out of thin air* YOU BASTARD! *Tries to stab Damon*

Damon: *Dodges them* Can someone get the shrimp?

Edward: *Twitch*

Stefan: Oh my god Damon! It's Iron man!.

Winery: I didn't mean to hit him that hard.

Alphonse: Sir I'm not Iron man! I'm Alphonse Elric, the little brother of the Full metal alchemist.

Damon: Then where is your older brother?

Edward: *Kicks Damon in the face* I'M YOU BASTARD!

Damon: *Wipes his face* YOU'RE DEAD!

Edward: Bring it!

Mustang: Here you are.

Edward: Oh crap…RUN AL!

Alphonse: Okay! *Starts running away*

Stefan: No! Take me with you Iron man!

Mustang: You're not getting away that easy.

Edward: You'll never catch me alive!

Mustang: *Smirks then snaps his fingers and made a by explosion*

Winery: DON"T DESTORY MY HOUSE!

Damon: …I want that power.

Stefan: *Sobs* He went away.

Damon: *Looks at Stefan and shakes his head*

Mustang: Damn he got away again. *Chases after Edward & Alphonse*

Stefan: IRON MAN!

Damon: *Kicks Stefan in the side* Oh shut up.

* * *

Iron man?

Stefan: I like the movies alright.

Damon: A little too much.

Katherine: Your late. Dumb bitch.

Ouch. But I have…

Katherine: Can it. *Twitch* What you looking at?

Alice: Whoa! What's wrong with bitch-zilla?

Castiel: It's close to her due date.

That must suck.

Katherine: No duh!

Mason: Let's start with the show. Here's a segment called the wolves corner!

What are you guys doing?

Tyler: Freedom of speech!

Huh?

Tyler: Nothing. I just always wanted to say that.

Dean: Let's start with the show guys.

Lestat: Are you alright Steffy-pants?

Stefan: Stay away from me?

Lestat: But I love you!

Tara: I will cut you.

Caroline: Defend your man Tara!

Eric: *Stretches out* Thanks for the meal Chi last night.

Damon & Lestat: What?

L-liar! I was in school!

Eric: In that little chef uniform? Sorry I got blood on it.

O.O.

Damon: I called you last night and you were with him!

N-No. It's a lie!

Damon: *Demonic voice* I will destroy every little innocent that is left in you.

Eric: Isn't that much.

PAM SAVE ME FROM HIM!

Pam: I'm just wondering what you are calling her for in the middle of the night.

Damon: *Grabs my by the head* We were working on a story called Damon rants.

HE'S RAPEING MY BUBBLE!

Bonnie: Leave the poor girl alone.

Sam: Yeah.

Damon: Wait till tonight.

O.O *Cries in a corner*

Bella: Let's start this weird show.

Bill: At least I'm not in a tutu.

Edward: Don't say that! She'll hear.

Bill: Rogue? What's so scary about her?

Edward: Pfft. *Walks away* Your not getting my ass in trouble. Your on your own pal.

Let's start.

FutureActressKS: Eric just because your the baby daddy doesn't mean I actually like.

Eric: *sings* oh why you look so

Damon: *gags*

Eric: *glares and continues* tears are in your eyes,Come on and come to me the night falls on you and you don't know what to you confess could make me love you less...I'll stand by you. I'll stand by you, won't let nobody hurt...

Damon: *Shoves Eric out of the way*

Pam: I say you should propose to Future!

Damon: *twitch* NO!

Pam: *glares* Why not?

Damon: because-

Stefan: Oh please god tell me that your not going to singing.

Caroline: *Smirks* You care and don't want to admit.

Future: *swooning as Jacob tries to make a move*

Jacob: Huh?

Caroline: You'll lose Future forever, and before you know it, she'll give into Eric or anyone else and forget all about anyone?

Popcorn anyone?

Jack: BOOZE PARTY!

Future: Jack, Edward stole your booze.

Jack: But there is a bottle…*Looks at his hand and sees no bottle* DIE!

Everyone: …Bonnie: *casts spell on Future*

Future: Edward, I love you! *makes out with him*You know she'll hate herself eventually.

Bonnie: But it's so fun to watch.

Lestat: I never liked the guy in the first place.

Bella: I was in it for the undead sex.

…How did that go for you?

Bella: I waited three books and I got pregnant. I'm so happy that I'm OC cause that shit

Future: *Blushes* Edward I-

Damon: *yanks her back*

Pam: *Coughs*

Katherine: KILL THE NON BELIEVER!

Ranma: The hell? How did I get here?

Wow Katherine…do you know what story he comes from?

Katherine: *Shrugs* I don't care.

Kaname: Save me!

Tyler: And you call your self a vamp!

Kaname: Screw you!

Future: I want 100 apples, Eric. I'm hungry.

Pam: Crazy.

Future: I'm an insanely in love fan, who loves to party...hard. *wink*

Pam: I want to push you off a cliff or eat you…

Future: Stay away from me whore.

Pam: *Twitch*

Come on guys. No fighting. We should celebrate for the new year. Yay!

Everyone: …

Say yay.

Gir: YAY!

Besides Gir.

Everyone: *Boredly* Yay.

Good.

Heart-Broken-In-Love: ...Damon pee'd on Stefan...That's disturbing...

Damon: I did what must be done.

Stefan: Be an ass?

Damon: …

Heart-Broken: Hahaaha I liked your song thingy :DDD

Thanks.

Heart-Broken: *Raises an eyebrow* Sam now scares me...WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT BRAS?

Sam: Ah…haha. It's a funny story…*Runs away*

Heart-Broken: Wuss. *Throws up on Elena* Well at least I made it too a toilet...

Elena: *Moans in disgust*

Heart-Broken: ...I now have a new favorite book...

Tyler: I think I'm too afraid to ask.

Heart-Broken: *Pokes Edward's eye out*

Caroline: ...Is she on drugs?

Heart-Broken: *Snorts* If I was on drugs I would be worst than this.

Caroline: …Nah I don't think so.

Heart-broken: *Giggles* Edward ad Jacob fuck each other!

Edward: Hahaha…No.

Jacob: Hell no.

Edward: Never in a million years.

Jacob: Never in general!

Edward: Unless he wants too.

Jacob: *Looks at Edward* FUCK NO!

Edward: Yeah! What he said.

Heart-Broken: Oookay? I like that Moll girl...she's cool on my list...Hmmm tha reminds me... *Moves Sookie up a spot on my list of people to kill**Grins*

Sookie: What did I do?

Heart-Broken: Because you suck…bitch.

Sookie: …

Heart-Broken: CHARITY! I JUST SAW EDWARD PEE ON YOUR FLOOR!

EDWARD!

Edward: She's lying!

Heart-Broken: ...That is gross *Tsk's*

DIE!

Gir: *Giggles* DIE!

Get him Gir!

Gir: YES! *Chases after Edward*

Edward: Bastard!

Heart-Broken: *Evil laugh* I love this.

Edward: EVIL!

Heart-Broken: Never cared. I would have dressed up as Katherine for Halloween...but I dressed up as a play boy bunny...or wait is that last year... O_e *Can't remember that far*

Caroline: It isn't that far fetch that you don't remember.

Heart-Broken: *Smile* Caroline..I'm only dangerous with sharp things when I'm pissed.

Caroline: …That seems like a big lie.

Heart-Broken: Gives Katherine a look* You ma be my favorite character from VD but bitch back the fuck up my chocolate.

Katherine: BRING IT! *Evil face*

When is she going to have her baby?

Castiel: Hopefully soon because I can't deal with the whole thing.

Damon: I don't blame you. At least there not forcing her on you. *Looks at Bonnie*

Bonnie: *Mouths* Bite me bitch.

Damon: …I kinda like that.

Pam: *Laughs*

Tara: It doesn't seem like the swelling is going down.

Stefan: It's okay…thank for helping me. *Blush*

Tara: *Blushes* Yeah.

I hear wedding bells!

Sam: NEVER!

Huh?

Sam: I love Tara!

…Sam?

Sam: I'm over here.

*Rubs forehead* Two Sams.

Damon: Seems like it. It gets you excited don't it Dean.

Dean: Shut up!

Heart-Broken: Woo! Drama. *Drinks a cocktail*

Caroline: *Takes it from her* Your still pregnant!

Heart-broken: It's chocolate milk.

Caroline: *Looks at the glass* It's green.

Heart-Broken: It's…old?

Caroline: I can smell the alcohol!

Heart-Broken: NEVER! *Pulls out a smoke bomb and throws it to the ground*

Everyone: *Coughs*

Caroline: *Growls* HEART-BROKEN!

Can we kinda deal with the Sam problem?

Sam: I love Tara!

Damon: Back off blonde! If he want's to be with her then back the hell off!

Wow. You defended Stefan. Your kinda my hero now.

Damon: HE'S MY PUNCHING BAG BASTARD!

And there it went.

Sam: But it took me a long time to realize my feelings for you.

Sam: What about me! I'm suppost to be the only Sam on here.

Let's call the other Sam, Sam 2.

Katherine: I vote for that.

Tara: Sam…

It's Sam 2.

Tara: Well who ever leave me alone. I'm happy being with Stefan. He doesn't see me as a fuck buddy.

Sam 2: But I really do love you.

*Whispers to Eric* I thought he was Sookie's bitch?

Eric: *Shrugs* You got me.

Stefan: *Growls* Back off.

Fan fiction person: You know your over the character limit.

Really?

Fan Fiction person: …Do you even read the rules?

If it was on the first page of a Naruto Fan fiction then I would read it.

Fan Fiction person: You have to pay ten cent for every character including fan girls.

*Starts counting then screams* I DON'T HAVE 100 DOLLARS!

Sookie: That's too much!

Damon: How did you pass College math?

With a C+! *Claps yay!

Damon: Dumb ass.

Fan Fiction Person: *Puts out a hand* Well you need to pay…like now.

But…I…don't have

Heart-Broken: *Stabs Fan fiction person* Yes whore!

Fan Fiction Person: *Coughs up blood*

Heart-Broken: *Evil laugh*

O.O?

Heart-Broken: Bites Damon's head off* Leave Chi alone!

Everyone (expect Eric): …

Lestat: Bout damn time!

Heart-Broken: Yes Tara and Stefan you do owe me one! *Grins evilly*

Tara: Why does that scare me?

Stefan: *Growls at Sam 2*

Sam 2: She will be mine.

I'm kinda confused.

Fan Fiction Person: You should be worried about me.

O.o You're not bleeding anymore!

Fan Fiction Person: I AM GOD…here.

…Well good for you.

Heart-Broken: Aww! You two singin' was so cute! *Kisses Gir on cheek**Kisses Chi for about 15 minutes*

15 minutes later.

*On the floor blushing*

Heart-Broken: *Laughs* She's like a brownish red blob on the floor.

*Happy sigh*

Heart-Broken: *Grins*I figured it out! It's no school until Jan. 4.

Katherine: LATE!

Oh shut up!

Heart-Broken: O_O My Dad must be on crack...he seriously just gave me a knife...

Caroline: …Why?

Heart-Broken: *Shrugs* xDD I was just listening to a song about zombies!

Cool!

Heart-Broken: Alice bith gime the fuckin cookie!

Alice: What?

Heart-Broken: Pins Lestat to wall* You wanna see what I can do with fire Lestat? Don't test me hunny *growls*

Eric: BITE HIS HEAD OFF!

Pam: Seems like he's getting into it.

Heart-Broken: Charity... Look up Walking on Air by Kerli...I now want her clothes...

They are so cool!

Heart-Broken: Giggles* I agree with Damon it is fun too watch!

Damon: Don't agree with me! I'm pissed at you!

Heart-Broken: *Laughs* Bad Mr. bear! No bite me Bite Sam!

Sam: Which Sam?

Heart-Broken: *Grins* That was a compliment Alice.

Alice: *Twitch*

Heart-Broken: O_o I think she's on crack...The kids Jeremy's...

Alice: I feel for you Jeremy.

Jeremy: Ha-ha.

Heart-Broken: *Jumps on Edward a tapes him to wall* Let me think of my torture…*Looks around the room and waves her hand*...The young people might wanna leave...

Seth: Do I have to leave?

Heart-Broken: I warned you guys. *Shrugs*-5 hours later-Heart-Broken: *Giggles* He won't t mess with me anymore...but I think all that made the water break...Yeah it did..

Seth: *Throws up*

Heart-Breath: Fuck!

…

Heart-Broken: CHOP! CHOP! PEOPLE!

Sebastian!

Sebastian: Yes?

Help her deliverer her babies.

Sebastian: *Bents down* Yes…your highness.

*Blush*

Sebastian: *Picks up Heart-Broken*

Heart-Broken: *Glares at him* I'LL KILL YOU!

…

Sebastian: *Takes Heart-Broken in the backroom*

Damon: How long do you think it's gonna take before she gives birth?

*Shrugs*

Hannah: Sam, you need to keep your hands off of Dean. Now it's PIGGYBACK TIME! *Jumps on Sam's back*

Sam: …I hate you. A lot.

Hannah: Giddy up puppy! *Smile*

Sam: *Hops around*

Hannah: Ha-Ha!

Dean: *Laughs*

Sam: *Glares at him*

Hannah: Edward stop stalking me you crazy mofo! Dean won't like this...

Dean: Wanna die fairy boy?

Edward: You should ask yourself that.

Dean: *Pulls out a gun and aims it at Edward's head*

HEY! HEY! HEY! I just got new carpet.

Katherine: *Pours a bottle of wine on the floor*

*Demon voice* KATHERINE!

Katherine: What are you gonna do about it skippy?

Castiel: *Holding me back* She'll get hers soon.

*Demon voice* WHEN?

Castiel: *Smirks* Smite her.

Katherine: *Falls to the ground and screams*

What about my carpet?

Mason: I got it. *Cleans up the mess*

…I think I love you.

Damon: *Twitch*

Bonnie: Yeah! Go with Mason! He's better then Damon and anything is better then Lestat!

Lestat: HEY!

Damon: A part of me wants to chock you.

Bonnie: I just want to kill you.

-: With love!

Bonnie: …Great.

Hannah: Chi I just watched Paranormal Activity. Holy shit. Have you seen it? The whole time I was like they should call the Winchesters.

I've seen both of them. I haven't seen the Japanese version for the second one yet. It's pretty scary.

Hannah: Cas you are so cute! - gives big hug -

Castiel: *blushes*

Hannah: We should take a trip to Vegas, Dean. Just you and me - winks -

Dean: …Let's go!

Sam: No!

Dean: Why?

Sam: …Nothing…jerk! *Runs off*

…Okay?

Hannah: Tyler, Bonnie, Elena, Caroline I had a dream about you guys, and we went to an 80's themed prom O.o

Caroline: *Smiles* It sounds fun! don't it Chia-mia?

I guess? Who would want to have an awkward dance with you…

Caroline: *Glares*

*Sighs* What kind of prom?

Caroline: Yay!

Hannah: Why were you such a douche to your sons when they were growing up John ?

John: In my line of work if I didn't treat them like that they would be pussies and stuff.

Hannah: *Points at Sam* You did a great job. *Rolls eyes*

Sam: S-stupid Dean.

John: …Damn

Hannah: Bella hun, you are seriously fucked up.

Bella: Your fucked up!

Hannah: …*Pushes Bella into a tank filled with piranhas* Oops. Didn't mean to, oh well bye!

Ha-ha, bye?

Crowley's Bitch 13: Chi hi! *starts crying* I miss supernatural and the vampire diaries so much! It's not fair that there both taken away from me at once!

At least they will be on next week! I won't be able to watch Vampire Diaries on Thursday anymore so I tried to fill my void with V. Hot girl, scary creature.

Damon: I swear your like a girly Bi guy.

100% Female!

Katherine: Take the Fe off.

*Frown* I'm a girl.

Katherine: Whatever helps you sleep at night.

…

Crowley's Bitch: *crying* does anyone want to give me a hug?

Alice: Here you go. *Hugs Crowley's Bitch*

Crowley's Bitch: *Slaps Castiel* HOW COULD YOU KILL CROWLEY! *slaps again*

Castiel: OW! *Holds cheek* I did what had to be 's Bitch: Eric I saw the other day on tv guide that you are number one on sexiest beasts.

Alice & Sookie: I bet. *Looks at each other* HE'S MINE!

Crowley's Bitch: Damon you were on the list to and supringly enough so was mr. sparkles over there*points at Edward*

Damon: I knew that I was on there but why that…thing?

Edward: Because I make panties wet.

Damon: Fucking pedophile!

Like you can talk Damon. What about Elena?

Damon: Hey she's close to eighteen it's not as if she was twelve!

Edward: Bella wasn't twelve.

Damon: But that's how old your fans are!

Eric: I got you both beat.

Edward & Damon: ….

Eric: *Smirks*

Crowley's Bitch: Chi!

Huh?

Crowley's Bitch: *Chases after with pitch fork* YOU NEVER POSTED THE DAMON AND ERIC SLASH!

*Runs* But I…

Crowley's Bitch: No EXCUSES!

But I have a ….

Crowley's Bitch: *Throws the pitch fork at my head*

*Ducks and screams*

Katherine: *Laughs* I like this

Crowley's Bitch: What list am I on for you? (ex: cutest, best f**k, friend, ...)

*Sobs in a corner*

Katherine: A cutie!

Damon: Hot but a bit of a psycho…I like it

Edward: Crazy b…

Crowley's Bitch: *Twitch*

Edward: …

Tyler: …

Mason: Okay?

Jack: PIE!

Huh?

Jack: I just got a craving for

Crowley's Bitch: Ahhhhhh!*starts screaming* I'm going into labor!

… Sebastian.

Sebastian: Yes?

Another fan girl is giving birth today.

Sebastian: Okay, my lord.

KYAA! SO SEXY!

Alice: You like guys with dark hair?

No, guys with supernatural abilities are just so frinking hot!

Jack: What about me love?

You have a charm all your own.

Jack: *Blush*

BeatrixMayfeir: Bwahahaha Ranma was so damn fun! And I would totally do you Stefany *winks to Stefan*! But the 12 days of Christmas was the best!

Lol, thx

Beatrix: Here's your chocolate Kat, I ended up in Switzerland and bought a lot of every kind of chocolate I found! But I like Oreos best so*grabs Chi and kisses her for an hour* mmmmm, soooo good!

Katherine: Yay…*Looks at me* you can keep her.

*Melting*

Odd man in a suit: And the winners for the best kiss of the year are… Chi and Beatrix! *hands me a trophy* Congratulations!

Beatrix: Yes, I knew we would win*kisses Chi again*

So…hot

Beatrix: By the way everyone should stop bothering Pam and Damon, they're such a perfect match! And it's not like Pam has put a chastity belt on him! We can still screw him, we just have to screw Pam too or let her watch! Right?*goes to Pam and makes out with her* she's totally worth it!

Eric: Too bad Damon won't let me in their bed.

Damon: FUCK YOU ERIC!

Stefan: *Laughs*

Lestat: We can share him. *Pulls out a times table* the days I can have him is the days we have sex!

Tara: …*Pulls out a chainsaw*

Stefan: …I'm so gonna make her my wife.

Lestat: *Runs away* I WAS BEING FAIR!

Tara: DIE!

Beatrix: And leave Tara and Stefan alone too! They are cute!

Tara: Thanks. *Glares at Lestat* BACK OFF!

Beatrix: Happy late birthday HeartsBreak and thank you for the cake!

Katherine: I have a sudden craving for cake now.

Alice: Just stick to the chocolate. I don't think that world can deal with another one of your cravings

Beatrix: Oh and for Crowley's Bitch 13, sorry, dear! I thought of marrying Crowley first and you're too late anyway *shows the hand with the wedding ring* But don't worry Rogue, I'm still your bitch, whenever you want!

Whoa.

Jerry: Did anyone call me?

Nope.

Jerry: Well I'll be over there if you need me.

Alright. Such a nice guy.

Beatrix: It has been a lovely ceremony! We married on the Black Pearl and Jack officiated it *hands Jack two boxes with 20 bottles of rum each* thank you by the way! Bobby was Crowley's best man, Chi Rogue Alice and Pam were my bridesmaids and Gabriel gave my away!

Jack: I did my best.

Beatrix: He slurped through it.

Jack: I kept my clothes on.

Thanks for taking me Eric!

Eric: No problem.

Alice: *Twitch*

It was nice until Damon try to throw my off the boat.

Damon: Just seeing you with that pervert just ruined my day.

…But thank you Pam for saving me.

Pam: Your one of my favorite toys.

….

Castiel: Why Gabriel ?

Beatrix: Because he's my dad of course!

Dean &Sam: What? The trickster is your dad?

Beatrix: What? You didn't know? I have the funniest dad of the world, haven't I? I love him even if he has a thing for Sam*throws up at the thought*! No one is perfect I suppose!

Castiel: I slept with my niece!

Beatrix: You've slept with a man who screws his own brother and you have a problem sleeping with me?

Dean: Hey!

Cas: *tilts his head* well, if you say it like that…

Beatrix: Dad hasn't kill you yet, so he's ok with it! Now come with me to my appointment with the doctor so you can see Lucas! Since Kat didn't bring you with her, seems fair!

*after a couple of hours*

Beaxtrix: We're back! The kids are ok and we have 3Ds pictures! Oh and Cas cried when he's seen his little boy!

Cas: I did not*sniffs* Something got in my eye!

Beatrix: Yeah, of course!

Jerry: I'm just gonna stay here and watch.

Okay!

Beatrix: Kat if Kaname tries to run again, use this*hands her a whip*! God I love seeing that bastard of a pureblood suffer! He totally deserves it for his *I'm the best vamp of the world* attitude! And I love reading fan fics where Zero makes you his bitch, but unfortunately there're too few of it!

Kaname: *Growls* I hate you.

Beatrix: Chi and Damon thank you for explaining me what Tic Tac Toe is and I know well that game, I was one of the best player in my school, but here in Italy we call it just Tris and so I didn't know it was the same *smiles shyly*

I wanna go to Italy! I heard there is a lot of hot guys there.

Damon: Edward, go home.

Edward: Fuck you!

Beatrix: Poor Tyler*hugs him* you were in so much pain that it was painful to look! Here's a potion to make your transformations better! Its taste is awful but it works, scout's honor!

Tyler:Thank you

Beatrix: Ok, I have a confession to do! When I first read Twilight I really loved Edward! Then when I read New Moon I started to hate his gut *blows Edward and draws his sparkles with a vacuum then throws the vacuum in another dimension* and I liked Jacob more! Then I read Eclipse and I hated Jacob too*breaks Jacob's bones one by one* now I want to see how you will put them back together! In the end, when I read Braking Dawn, I realized that I wasted my money, because I could have asked my friend to borrow hers, and that the only characters worth something in those books were Carlisle, Emmett, Alice and Seth!

Seth: THANK YOU!

Beatrix: Another disappointment like Harry Potter which since Sirius' death sucks! Thanks -god for fanfiction and no offence to the fans, it was just my opinion!

I haven't even read the books. Maybe I should make a parody with everything I already know.

Damon:No.

Beatrix: Rogueeeeee*jumps on her* happy late birthday! Eric and I have an awesome gift for you in the backroom*winks* bye Chi*blows a kiss* this will take a lot of time! Happy new year everyone!

Bye! *Smiles*

Fire Slyraven: I love the story line of Supernatural, so that would make it cool to be animated, but Jared -especially *sighs*- and Jensen are too hot to get rid of. It wouldn't be the same...

Damon: They should make our show into an anime! What's so good about there show?

It's been on longer.

Damon: FUCK THEM!

Dean: Someone is throwing a temper like a kid.

Damon: *Twitch* Bite me bastard.

Sam 2: I'm still here.

Edward: No one cares.

Fire: HEY! Move it!

Katherine: …*Claps* Me like, me like.

XXspoiiledheartXx: Chi- yu took to long now yu must die...lol im joking if I kill yu then who would write my most favoritist story on fanfiction and plus I guess yur pretty cool...maybe

…

Spoiiled: Damon-so wheres my present from yu, how come I got one from yur brother and not yu bitch I'll remember tht!

Damon: I'm not good with gifts.

Spoiiled: Stefan- thank yu yur some much nicer then yur brother WHO GOT ME NOTHING.

Damon: I'M NOT GOOD WITH GIFTS! *Pulls a comb out his pocket* Here. Now shut up.

Spoiiled: *Glares at him then looks at Bonnie: Bonnie- so how's life?

Bonnie: It could be better. I want a man that's not Damon.

Caroline: You can choose from the wolves corner.

Bonnie: …Hey Alice do you wanna come over?

Alice: If I can bring : : Elena- I think yur a hoe.

Elena: Your momma!

Cheeky Liar: Mandy is Queen, Mandy is Queen, Mandy is Queen

Aw, thank you.

Lestat: This is?

It was when Mandy was on the show. Evil brat.

Mandy: I'll be back.

…

Rogue Assasin: Lol, your 12 days of xmas was funny as fuck!

Thanks.

Rogue: Yo Damon howz it hanging? *Rogue passes Damon and Pam a blood vodka*

Eric: Where's mine?Rogue *drinks an entire bottle of Vodka*Right here honey *Rogue offers Eric her neck*

Eric: *Smirk then takes Rogue to the dressing room*

~Unknown hours~

Rogue: CHARITY! *Rogue hugs Charity and jumps up and down with her* HAPPY NEW YEAR! and thank you all for the late birthday wishes.

Damon: No prob.

Rogue: So Steffina I guess the two rape whistles were for Lestat and Eric - I don't think you and Damon should bother about Eric much between Alice and Sookie I think he's quite busy...

Damon: It doesn't stop him from trying to climb into our bed!

Pam: *Gives a low whistles*

Damon: Your not helping.

Pam: I know.

Sookie: Let go of him! *Sookie tries to use fairy powers on Alice*

Alice: No you let go! *Alice sparkles and blinds Sookie*

Eric: Ladies please there's enough-

Sookie and Alice: SHUT UP!

Eric:...

Rogue: *throws a box of chocolate coated black cherries at Katherine*

Katherine: *Glares*

Rogue: They're for baby Casterine not you once that baby is outta you your ass is mine.

Katherine: *Evil smile* Bring it.

Rogue: *Raises an eyebrow* Sam I know I swopped your parts with Bella's but I seriously don't think you need 6 types of bras for her barely visible

Bella: I-

Rogue: Shut it! *Bella closes mouth and tries to blend in with the furniture*

Edward: You are my hero.

Rogue: Hey Eric lets try out those 7 new positions...

Eric: *Being pulled by Alice and Sookie* How?

Rogue: Oh I'll fix that *Rogue points finger at Edward and zaps him*

OMG 2 Erics!

Rogue: Well not really two Eric I just made Eddie look like Eric - the fake Eric sparkles but Sookie and Alice are too busy fighting to notice the difference.

Oooohhh!

Rogue:*Rogue snaps fingers and goes to the backroom with the real Eric while Sookie and Alice pull at the fake one*

Edward: I like this *Grins*

Sookie: *Rips of Alices's top and bra* MINE!

Alice: *Tears off Sookies panties and dress* no MINE!

*several hours later and Seth and Jacob have passed out and Sookie and Alice are trying to get into EWdard (Who looks like Eric's) pants*

Eric:*Bites my neck one more time* So what we miss?

Alice and Sookie: There's another Eric!

Rogue: Oops my bad! *Rogue zaps the shiny Eric who becomes Edward again**Sookie and Alice throw up*

Damon: Shhhhh I'm trying to make the babies.

Bonnie: Then go in the nursery.

Damon: But I'll miss the action here!

Pam: Let me take the babies.

Bonnie : Over my dead body.

Pam: That can be arranged!

Ladies!

Stefan: Here Bonnie let me and Tara take them.

Bonnie: *Glares at Pam* Sure.

I think Bonnie and Pam needs bonding time.

Bonnie & Pam: NO!

*Demonic voice* DON'T SAY NO TO ME!

Caroline: She is going to be the stepmom you guys should at least come to terms when it comes to the kids.

*Nods* That's why I'm sending you two somewhere together.

Bonnie & Pam: WHAT?

Sebastian hand me the tickets when your done.

Sebastian: Yes, my lord.

Alice: You bastard! I kissed you! *Alice hits Edward with a crowbar*

Sookie: I let you touch my special place! *Sookie uses fairy powers on Edward*

Rogue: I can believe Edward fucked his mom - who else would fuck him hell not even Jacob would fuck him... maybe Seth...

Seth: Pfft over Mason's dead body…*Laughs*

Mason: I'M NOT DEAD!

Jacob: So you're a ghost.

Mason: Bite me!

Rogue: LOL a wolf corner WTF do Tyler, Mason, Seth, Jacob and Wolverine do in that corner jeez we have too few wolves Say Charity bring in Leah - she's almost as awesome as Pam and I'd love for her to kill Bella.

Leah: Sure, why not.

You appear fast. *Holds a microphone* We finally have a girl in the wolf corner!

Leah: Bout damn

Rogue: Hi Moll - lookie Chi the Roguester has another fan :D Would love to have tea and scones with strawberry jam with you - I'm from Sunny South Africa.

I'm just in San Francisco….*Cries* I wanna live in a different country. I'm just to lazy to go.

Rogue: Moll throwing Bella off the cliff again was awesome lets make it more interesting and have killer great white sharks in the water.

*Scene change - everyone's standing on the cliff*

Rogue: Damon you can do the honors?

Damon: Thank you *Damon pushes Bella off the cliff down to the circling great whites below*

Edward: YES!

*Beatrix appears*

Beatrix: Take this piece of trash with you!

*Beatrix tosses in Elena after Bella*

*Scene change and we're in the Sphinx*

Rogue: Ooooh this is so coooool maybe we'll see a mummy or find the pharous treasure!

Jack: Treasure! Lead me to the treasure *Jack takes out his sword and bottle of rum*

Rogue: Lilith rocks I have an artists vision painting of her in my room - you know they say Lilith took the form of the serpent to trick Eve into eating the apple - how the fuck did she get tricked? All the serpent said was Eve eat the apple and Eve ate the apple all she had to do was walk away - stupid bitch - Lilith should be given the respect she deserves - she left Adam because she wanted equality she didn't want a man to dictate her life to her.

I don't blame her at all.

Damon: I would do her.

You would do anything with a hole.

Damon: You should know.

DIE!

Rogue: Caroline please don't get with Matt - I want you to get with Stefan cause Elena sucks and I want Damon to screw Bonnie and Jeremy to come out the closet and admit that he wants Tyler.

Tyler: No.

Rogue: Matt's going to die anyway - he should - he lacks purpose he's just annoying - they really turned him into a Mike Newton reject.

Jeremy: *Goes in the corner* Why do I have to come out the closet?

Because half the fan fictions I've seen had you and Tyler doing the sideways polka dance. That's what my grandma called it, bless her soul

Matt: At least you don't have to die!

Rogue: *Rogue stares at Future Actress swooning over Damon* Fucking retard.

Edward: *Nods*

Rogue: *Raises eyebrow at Chi and points thumb at future actress* In FGW3 her DESPERATE ass is mine.

FutureActress: Bring it!

Damon: THANK YOU she keeps making me do things that bad asses shouldn't do like sing - grrrr - Pam help me wipe that memory away!

Pam: Sure thing honey *Pam and Damon bone in front of Future Actress*

Rogue: Hmmm Crowley's bitch I doubt Beatrix will let you be Queen of Hell - she and Castiel are marrying Crowley (and I'm getting sugar from my Step mom to be) *Rogue snaps fingers and makes out with Beatrix*Hey Beatrix I like the name Lucas too and I'm honored you're naming one of my soon to be siblings after me.

Jerry: Half of this is better than my show. As long as that skanky slut Rosa isn't here.

Damon: Who even likes that skanky slut Rosa.

Jerry: That dumb bitch.

Rogue: So Johnny *Rogue sits on Johns lap with a really, really short leather skirt* what are you going to do about your sons screwing each other? OMG are you getting a little woody Johnny boy?

John: You are a beastly woman.

Rogue: *Flips him off* Mmmmm Damon that bloody mary was bloody good - sit back let me make you and Pam a Liquid cocaine.

Damon: *Smirks* Pam: I'm gonna need : Edward, Bill - Get those flamingo costumes on - and DANCE!

Edward: *Sighs* Damn.

Bill: *Rolls eyes*

Rogue: So if Castiel is Delivering the baby someone has to hold Katherine's hand I say we all draw we have to?Rogue: Well i pout in 2 short straws so 2 people will have to hold her ! *Everyone draws

Damon: Yes! Mine is the longest!

Pam: Honey Actually mine is.

Eric: No mine!

Alice: Sorry folks I have the longest

Rogue: *Laughing* Charity and Elena have the shortest ones they got to hold Katherine's hands!

Damn.

Bella: FUCK!

Katherine: Have fun girls.

I wanna keep my hands! I touch thing with my hands! *Cries*

Katherine: Too bad.

Rogue: Justin Bieber is gay - he looks gay he sounds gay - fuck when I first heard him I thought it was a chick! Lestat their a new toy for you go screw Justin Bieber.

I thought he was a girl that first time I saw him too. But a small part of me wants to rape him.

Katherine: I want him. I need a foot rest.

…

Rogue: Why the fuck are you making that poor kids last name Gilbert that is a sucky surname for a half vamp half angel baby gosh that's like making the baby's last name Swan or Cullen. Hewy Jacob you like baby's maybe when the baby is older you can marry her and make her Casterine Black.

Katherine: No child of mine will marry a dog!

You fucked Mason didn't you...

Katherine: And when this baby is out I'll fuck you!

...

Pam: I thought she just wanted the baby out...

Alice: She's one confused bitch

Katherine: I will kill you

Castiel: Smite her.

Katherine: *Gets smite and falls down* I hate this fucking baby.

Rogue: Hey Damon how many kids do you have anyway... I know that Elena was sort of like a surrogate for one Bamon baby and she had a daughter by Edward and a son by Bob - hey charity how does the Tofu baby look?

Damon: I have four kids. Just four.

Damon Jr. Looks gooey.

Elena: Stop making fun of my kid.

I'm not!

Rogue: Oh Johnnie *Rogue wraps arms around Johns neck* Lotsa people like me, Chi, Pam, Eric, Damon, Tara, Jack, Alice - Did I miss anyone?

Caroline: Me!

Rogue: It's just I don't like some people like you *Rogue snaps Johns neck*, Sam, Lestat, Bella, Elena, Bill. and there are people I just like messing with cause they bore me, Stefan, Jeremy, Tyler, Seth, Katherine, Dean, Castiel.

Tyler: Ouch. What did I… you know what, I don't even want to

Rogue: Hey have you noticed most of our vamp and supernatural shows have a Sam?Twilight has Sam Uley he's kinda hotSupernatural has Sam Winchester - who should be beaten to death with a rubber chicken.

Sam: HEY!

Rogue: True Blood has Sam Merlot whose kinda psycho, I guess VD is the only series without a Sam...I kinda like : Charity you know what would be cool Stefan and Damon in General hospital - I would love a Doctor Damon.

I love that show…*Glares at Damon* STAY AWAY FROM SAM, ROBIN & ELISABETH! MINE…you can have Carly.

Damon: …

Rogue: Gosh I am feeling so hot - these South African summers on the coast are scorchers!We went to Ushaka Marine world yesterday and I went on the tallest water slide in Africa 9I also ended up getting the most excruciating wedgie - I though my body got cut in half I kept looking for blood in the water! Next time I go down that slide I'm going to sit on Stefan's lap and go down so that I enjoy the ride and he gets the wedgie :D

Stefan: ...

Rogue: Happy new year again guys - lets try and be a bit more eco friendly this year (seeing as the world might end in 2012 and all) I am holding off on torture because I am on vacation until Jan 03 after that billy and Belly are mine BWAHAHAHAHAHA *Rogue disappears in an explosion of black smoke*

Everyone: …

Eric: Isn't she sweet.

Edward: Too you but I shouldn't complain. She treats me better then Bella.

Bella: HEY!

HeartsBreakinlove: Chi! Omg how are u guys? I'm coming back next week! Then will I ask what I missed.

Okay.

HeartsBreakinlove: I miss you guys sooooooooo much! Having fun! Meeting tons of people! I can't wait to come back and harass fagward!

Edward: Damn.

HeartsBreakinlove: Oh Matt? U there?* hands cookie basket* Tyler?*kisses him on cheek* better go now love you guys see you soon!

Matt: Thanks. At least I get some

FutureActress: Rogue, I put the singing thing because the tvd cast rumored that they might do a musical episode. I don't act like this in real :

Pam: Sure. *Rolls eyes*

Vie: Enjoyed the holiday song, that was too cute! Hello everyone!

Everyone: Hi!

Vie: Dean and Sam, my boo boos, Rogue is being mean to you guys because she secretly LOVES and LUST you (but don't act on it or tell her I said it). But, hey, I love you more than words can say. **Vie hugs and kisses both brothers** Oh and Dean, there's no place like your happy place **Vie winks at Dean**

Dean: I wish it was just lust, because she already went after the kiwis. That is so not cool!

Vie: Jackie, where are you? I brought the Captain Morgan's Rum! **Vie gives Jack his rum and all is right with the world**

Jack: YES! Thanks Lass!

Vie: Alice be nice, I'm not a fan of Sookie (She Sucks) either but she's kind of slow and don't know no better so treat her like you want her to be treated **Vie smirks**

Sookie: …I hate you.

Alice: Eric is mine.

Sookie: NEVER!

Vie: *Slaps forehead* Tara, did you wear the Donna Karan dress? You gotta tell me about it; I hear you and Stefan are in love. Congrats! And to think you had to play in love with Damon to get Stefan to open up, tre` chic! I likes that! **Vie winks at Stefan**

Stefan: I will never let her go.

Tara: *Smiles*

Vie: Bonnie, you seem to have your hands full with Dante. What gives, is he the only "Hellion" causing trouble? He is his father's son isn't he? Now, what's going on with you and your love life? I know you got one. Holla at me lata, chica. ;D

Bonnie: I'm somewhat working on it. Hopefully it will be better than what I use to have. *Glares at Damon*

Damon: Oh I'm so scared.

Vie: Dammy Dame what's going on, handsome? **Vie jumps in Damon's arms and they kiss for about an hour or so maybe** Damon, have I told you lately that I love you? Well, I do, you are the bomb, it's no wonder these girls are all so crazy about you, and now you got Pam...how do you do it? People need to stop hating on you too but don't worry, I got your back and I'm in your corner.

Damon: Thank

Vie: Chi! Hi, hope all is well. Just wanted to say that this story is going along well plus, I've noticed that a lot of writers is writing in the same way as you, AWESOME!

*Blush* Really. That's so cool!

Damon: Oh : Bye all, works calling my name! Jacob, Tyler, Louie and all of the other cuties I didn't say hey to, call me **winks at them**.

Bye!

Sam 2: Tara, let me…

Stefan: No.

Sam 2: I wasn't talking to you.

Stefan: Back off.

Damon: Go on somewhere if you want to live bastard. *Crack knuckles*

Caroline: Well look at the time. The show is over.

Having a happy new year? I've been having a rough one. My dad had heart surgery, my school started, a part of me wanted to quit writing but I'm not going to let a few reviews get to me but that Lil Sis fan fic is messing me up a bit. Maybe because I like soap opera type stuff and Sonny with a chance fans want happier stuff. I know I'm not the perfect writer but it starts to get to you when you are always reminded, so I took a break. Thanks for being patient with me, not pointing out my faults every second. Thank you and you don't know how much it means to me.

Damon: Okay with all that out of the way we want to thank FutureActressKS, Heart-Broken-In-Love, Breakfastclub85, Crowley's Bitch 13, BeatrixMayfeir, Fire Slyrayen, xXspoiiledheartXx, Cheeky Liar, Rogue Assasin, HeartsBreakinlove, and Vie!

Tyler: Thanks for reading.

Katherine: Bring chocolate. No seriously or I'll kill you.

…

Alice: Well…peace!

Tara: Love!

And chocolate!

Katherine: Lots of it.

Dean: See you guys soon.


	77. A weird GH

Shows they can't do together!

General Hospital!

Damon: Wow.

Stefan: Yep.

Dante: These two jokers were at Jake's beating up on some drunk guy.

Robin: I'm sorry it was my fault, some guy...

Damon: Got his teeth mashed in. With teddy's help. * points to Stefan*

Stefan: * Rollseyes*****

Mack: So what are we going to do with them?

Damon: A-oh no he's bleeding!

Stefan: Wait what...*Gets punched in the stomach*

Damon: See...all that blood, dripping on the nice floor.

Stefan: FUCK YOU!

Dante: * Helps Stefan up*** **...I guess I'll help him to GH...then?

Robin: He wasn't bleeding before?

Damon: Let's go, save my poor little brother.

Stefan: I hate you!

* * *

Steve: You heal...really fast.

Stefan: * Twitch* Just wait Damon...

Elizabeth: Well all you have to do is sign out and thanks for saving my friend.

Stefan: No problem.

Patrick: * peeking in the room*

Johnny: I sense jealousy.

Patrick: What do you want?

Johnny: To find trouble but I like messing with you too for the time being.

Patrick: You are a weird kid.

Johnny: I'm not a kid, I'm in my thirties...I think?

Patrick: * Looks at his watch*

Johnny: What's up? Waiting for something?

Patrick: In this show something always goes wrong at a time like this.

* * *

Damon: * sings* Nobody knows the trouble I've seen, nobody knows the sorrow.

Mack: Someone posted your bail.

Damon: How?

Mack: It was Robin as a thank you present. Don't let me see you again.

Damon: You will.

Mack: What?

Damon: Nothing.

* * *

Stefan: ...Take that off.

Damon: I'm a doctor. * Tug on his jacket*

Stefan: Did you just run over here to tell me that?

Damon: Yep.

Nurse # 1: Meet me in a supply closet. * wink*

Damon: * smirk* See.

Male Nurse: Meet me in the...

Damon: * Punches him in the face* Nasty bastard.

Stefan: * shake head*

Damon: Did you see that?

Stefan: * Walks away*

Damon: DON'T INGORE ME!

* * *

You guys are special.

Pam: Very.

Damon: Shut up. You would be drooling if you saw me in that jacket.

Maybe.

Caroline: Let's start the show.

Bout damn time! Welcome to our show!

Damon: No one cares...at least I don't.

Stefan: …

Dark-Supernatural-Angel: This is hilarious! This reminds me of the SPN episode "Changing Channels" just with the Salvatore's venturing in tv land.

Damon: We did it first!

Dark: No, Supernatural totally did it first.

Damon: * Growls*

Dark: ...

Katherine: …Chocolate.

Alice: * Throws a piece of chocolate at her* Shut up you cow.

Dark: LMAO! This is friggin' hilarious!

That was for chapter nine.

Damon: Of course whatever I'm in is funny or sexy.

Stefan: Pfft. Should we go back to the Oprah chapter?

Damon: ...Shut up.

Rogue Assasin: Jeez Chi - the next time you take that long I am going to beat you with a rubber chicken and let Pam end everything innocent that's left about you while Damon watches...

Damon: Why should I just watch?

…

Rogue: Hey hey beautiful people! *Rogue and Damon give each other knuckles, Rogue and Pam slap each others buts, Alice and Rogue kiss each other on the cheek, Rogue jumps on Eric and makes out with him* I missed you the most Eric!

Eric: * smirk*

Rogue: Hey Caroline, Tyler, Jacob, Jack, Sookie, Tara, Stefan and Bonnie - those I missed can jump off the same cliff Bella did.

Edward: …

Tyler: * smirk* I'm more important then you Seth.

Seth: * Criesinthecorner* Bite me.

Rogue: Billy, Billy, Billy... when will you ever learn - forget the tutu - Alice please dress that fruitcake Bill in drag and meet me outside in my black benz *Rogue disappears in a blast of fire.

Bill: …

Alice: Let's go. * Drags Bill*

Take me with you please! They're trying to rape me again! (Charity points at Pam and Damon)

Damon: * Evil laugh*

Save me!

*Many hours later Alice and Rogue return*

Alice: that was so fun!

Rogue: The best fun!

Bella: What you do with Bill?

Rogue: Shut it klutz

Bella:...

Alice: I have a video!

*Big screen appears showing Bill singing Taylor Swifts You belong with me for a bunch of gay sailors on the black pearl*

Jack: My baby she be tainted! Ahhhhhh! More alcohol, please loves!*cries*

*Screen then shows Bill getting ass raped by Russel Edgington and his boyfriend Talbot*

…

Bill: Noooooo! The pain Bella save me!

Bella: I'm coming baby! *Bella runs towards the door and slips on the carpet and goes through the window*

Rogue: Like a said Klutz...

Alice: She's going to get run over a few times on her way there... by the time she gets there Bill won't have an asshole left to rape...

Rogue: Not that I care but is there anyone here who actually wants to save Bill?

Everyone:... *crickets*...

I...

Damon & Dean: No.

Rogue: Now that that's settled... Edward - Tutu on and your dance partner till Bill gets back is Sammy!

Sam: Why me?

Sam # 2: Which one.

Because if you don't do it I will cut off Deans grapefruits and feed them to Elena and let every Demon in hell ass rape him in front of you then cut his head off and let Crowley throat rape him

Sam: *Wearing bright yellow tutu* just don't hurt Dean

oh I won't hurt him... too much

Sam: Wh-

Rogue: *Lashes Sam's legs with her trusty whip* Dance you bastards DANCE!

Sam: I'm dancing I'm dancing!

Rogue: Now... whose next...

Eric: Is that the same whip I used on you last night Rogue?

Rogue: Yes master Eric

Eric: I think I should use it again... *Eric drags Rogue by the hair to the backroom in chains*

I guess they like getting rough.

Sookie: I'm going to have to kill her...

Damon: You can try - that will only result in you getting hurt... not that I care.

Pam: What he means is - you're hot lets fuck

Sookie: But I love Eric...

Pam: It doesn't hurt to take a dip in the ocean now and then - you have my permission - unlike Bonnie who uses her kids to get between me and my hubby – bitch.

Bonnie: I'll put a spell on you!

Leah: I can't stand vampires... or witches...*Leah growls at Bonnie and Pam *

Pam: Kitty likes to purrr... I'm going to enjoy fucking with her... yum yum...

Rogue: Now Future is making Pam ask Damon to propose - FGW 3 better be coming soon Charity I will chain future upside down to a cross and parade her like a trophy.

...Um sure?

Rouge: Bonnie that spell on Future was awesome - next time make her love Jacob or Seth or Mason even the dead dude needs some loving... Hey Damon what you do with Mason's heart after you pull it out... eat it? Or put it in a pie and feed it to Tara like Maryanne did - god that was a sick episode the blood coming out the pie... that was just gross yet appealing... I wonder what a human heart would taste... *Rogue looks at Jack*

Jack: You can't eat my heart love, I lost it to Calypso...or some other chick I don't know about.

Tara: * Throws up*

Sam # 2: Let me take care of the pain.

Stefan: Back off.

Rogue: Oh yeah Pam I can grant your wish! *Rogue snaps fingers and Pam and Future are standing at the end of a cliff. Pam pushes Future off*

Future: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I'll be back! AHhhhhhhhhh!

Rogue: *Rogue snaps fingers and is back with Pam*Say where are my dancing pets?

Edward:*Panting and twirling Sam around* Right here... Sam is heavy I can't lift him. go on a diet you big oaf!

Sam: I'm not fat!

Dean: Well you are getting kinda pudgy...

Sam: *Throws his red high heeled shoe at Edward* I'm tired of you I work so hard to make you happy and you go around fucking angels and fangirls! I'm done with you! Charity! *Sam throws himself at Charity* You'll love me for me won't you Charity.

Damon, Pam and Rogue: *Fall on the floor laughing*

John: You're no son of mine.. .Mary was fucking the post man...

I...

Lestat: No.

Rogue: I never read the first book I just watched Twilight and I liked Eddie then I realized that he looks permanently constipated...

Bwhahahahaha!

Rogue: Eddie I'm going to give you a promotion you get to be my little minion you will call me mistress Rogue now go pull Sam off Charity and feed him to my crocs they haven't been fed in a while.

Edward: *Crying tears of joy* Yes mistress!

Rogue: So Damon and Pam tell us about your marriage experience what is a typical day in the lives on Mr and Mrs Salvatore like?

Damon: Sex.

Pam: Lots of sex.

Damon: Hunting.

Pam: Lots of hunting.

Damon: Torturing Chi-a-pet.

Pam: * Laughs*

...

Rogue: Hi Katherine *Rogue smiles sweetly then slaps Katherine hard across the face* Stupid bitch I'm going to induce your labor! *Rogue stabs Katherine with a drug to make her go into Labor*

What...why?

Rogue: Well Chi and Elena go on then to the labour room with Castiel and Kat - you got to hold her hands while he delivers baby Casterine. Damon you take over hosting I got a feeling Chi's going to be pretty busy...

* Cries* NO! * Being dragged to the backroom*

Damon: MY first order as host is for all the men to leave and all the women to get naked.

Pam: In your dreams babe - I'll take over. Come here Dante come to Step momma Pam.

Bonnie: Dante get back to the nursery!

Dante: *Sticks out tongue and runs towards Pam*

Pam: That's my boy

Bonnie: *sighs* just like Damon.

Alice: Yep. I really don't see what you guys see in him. I mean Eric then Damon. I choose Eric.

Damon: Shun the non believer!

Tara: I don't see it either.

Damon: Your just blinded by the fluff called my brother.

Stefan: …

Rogue: Anyway so I been thinking Fanfic ideas I was thinking of doing a supernatural one but without Sam and Dean with their kids - a futuristic supernatural where instead of ghosts and goblins they need to fight robots and zombies trying to take over the world.

That sounds fun.

Rogue: Go back with Katherine.

Awwww.

Rogue: I was always thinking of another Leadward fic where Bella actually dies giving birth and Jacob uses his brain and runs away from Bella instead of running to her...

Jacob: Hey! Don't blame me because my writer thought I could put up with two timing whore.

Bella: HEY YOU WHINEY...

Jacob: * Turns into a wolf and pees on her leg*

That's nasty.

Rogue: Anyway I have 2 fics I need to finish - Monnflower and DWD - I have an idea of what to do with DWD but I'm not into Bamon anymore I just want Damon to be a manwhore - Bonnie can become a lesbian and scissor aunt Jenna for all I care.

Bonnie: It would be better that way.

Pam: Shut up.

Rogue: Charity - change your idea of a boyfriend on me and the fangirls will change it for you - Lestat ACCEPTABLE - you want to be exorcised ... again?

...I LOVE YOU MASON! * Runs away*

Rogue: You are speacial! I'm going over to the wolf corner to get molested - Leah take your little bro to the nursery - he's too young for this shit *Rogue makes out with Leah*

*After lots of screaming and a night*

Rogue: I think mason misplaced his hip...

How'd he do dat?

Tyler: Rogue is a demon! She broke my Arm!

Jacob: She bruised my ribs

Wolverine: You boys are a bunch of sissies - don't try riding on a Harley when you can't even manage a trike!

Rogue: Hey Leah - Please kill Bella.

Leah: * Bloodly claws* I wasn't suppose to yet?

Rogue: Jerry mind your own business or I'll get Beatrix to turn you into a duck and feed you to my crocs!

Jerry: So mean. Well at least she's not that skany slut Rosa.

Tara: Where is that bitch?

Who is that skany slut Rosa!

Rogue: *makes out with Beatrix and squishes her boobs*I read the first chapter of the latest true blood book - first chapter - Sookie burns her hair! that was funny as fuck and Eric gets Pam to bring a hairstylist to Bon Temps just to fix his wifey's hair. If any vampire girl deserves to have a kid its Sookie, Eric would be a good dad and he's not broody and boring like sparkleward. Stephenie should be killed for creating twilight I swear to dance naked on that woman's grave.

Damon: We should do that. * Smirk*

Rogue: Yes Johnny I am a beastly women - too bad I'll never let you in my bed. My open bed invite only exists for Pam, Eric, Damon and Charity... maybe Caroline if she wants to fuck in front of the fire with me - her blonde hair would look so pretty with the fire reflected on it... I have a thing for blonde girls...

I thought I was that only one, and Asian chicks. Hot, hot Asian chicks.

Damon: * Slaps me in the back of the head*

OW! I don 't deny the rainbow!

Damon: Shut up!

Rogue: Go ahead Charity rape Bieber we already know in a few years he'll pull a Ricky Martin and come out that closet.

DAMN YOU RICKY! WHY COULDN'T YOU BE BI! * Cries in the corner*

Damon: This is the same kid who was in love with Lance Bass.

SHUT UP!

Rogue: LOL - why does Bob's kid get named Damon Jnr? Why not Stefan Jnr?

Elena: Because it's Damon's!

Bonnie & Pam: * Roll eyes*

Elena: It's true!

Rogue: Catch you later work awaits

Bye!

Alice: You wasn't the only one who liked Lance.

* Cries* Damn you hot gay guys! Well can I at least watch.

Damon: CHARITY!

What? I just want to know!

Crowley's Bitch 13: Hey everyone! *shows the kids to them* aren't they adorable! *Crowley's kid starts trying to kill cas* good girl.

Castiel: …

Crowley's Bitch: I just realize I don't know what to name them! Someone help me!

Hmm...Demi! I love Demi Moore.

Damon: Whore.

Shut up.

Crowley's Bitch: Castiel so what was up with u kissing Meg b4 the break!

Castiel: She was hot. That's what the pizza man would do.

Crowley's Bitch: Dean and Sam I love you guys so much! *kisses them both deeply* so do u guys wanna go to the back room?

Dean: That room is preoccupied!

Crowley's Bitch: Let's go to the dressing room. * Drags Sam & Dean to the back room*

~7 hours later~

You have a three?

Alice: Goldfish.

Damn.

Pam:Got a four Damon?

Oh your back.

Castiel: Yep.

Crowley's Bitch: Crowley I'm so sad that cas killed you! :'(

Crowley: I'm still alive on here.

Crowley's Bitch: Dean, Sam, and Crowley what do you guys want to name your kids?

Dean: Dean Jr.

Sam: Samuel.

Crowley: Mandy.

Mandy?

Crowley: That little bitch is my idol.

I think she needs a different name.

Crowley: * Glares at me*

Sorry.

Crowley's bitch: Mason I wish you weren't dead you were awesome!

Mason: I know but those bastard had to kill me off...dicks.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi I saw" dinner for smucks" yesterday and it was so funny!

I never seen it, now I have to. Yay movie suggests.

Crowley's Bitch: I g2g so bye everyone!

Bye!

Heartsbreak: Hello everyone! I missed you all so much... Well all of you excluding fagward and Mr. I dunno how to use a condom. I swear Damon when this kid finally gets out of me, you will pay.

Damon: Really love?

Heartsbreak: Really. When I finally give birth you'd better watch your back. I may be your friend but revenge is revenge.

Damon: O.O

Heartsbreak: Whatever. Pam? I'd like to talk to you.

Pam: What bitch?

Heartsbreak: During my vacation I realized something. And that was that I'm over Damon. I've moved on. And if you love him, then who am i to interfere? So I hope that you're happy with him.

Pam: Thank you love. Does this mean that I'm the stepmother?

Heartsbreak: Still deciding on that.

Pam: Fair enough

Heartsbreak: good. Bonnie Elena Caroline! I'm finally back! Yay!

Bonnie: So how was the vacation

Caroline: Yes love spill the beans!

Heartsbreak: It was nice. The family was too.

Elena: any cute boys?

Heartsbreak: Well there was one boy, he was a total perv, so I hated his ass.

Caroline: What happened?

Heartsbreak: okay so I was this restaurant where all the drinkers go, I don't know why. And I was in a backless dress.

Bonnie: That never ends well.

Heartsbreak: No it does not Bon-Bon.

Elena: So what happened?

Heartsbreak: So me and my cousin went to the restroom to freshen up and the freaking perv followed us to the girls restroom!

Caroline: oh my gosh! I see why you hate his guts

Heartsbreak: and when we came out he was standing right in front of the door! And my cousin(her name is Ashley) was like " oh the men's is that way". And we thought he left but he followed us out! And Is all like "wow!" and then Ashley is all "shut up" and then the perv is all like "looking good tonight." and then Ashley's all "Fuck You" and we left.

Bonnie: But why were you dressed like... That in a place like that?

Heartsbreak: Well.. We had gone to this really fancy hotel but didn't like their food so we went to the other restaurant instead.

Elena: Wow.

Heartsbreak: I know it sounds pathetic but I actually started crying.

Caroline: Awwwwwww!

Heartsbreak: Other than that no guys. Just a lot of dogs swearing and rain.

Damon: There were dogs?

Heartsbreak: Yes. There were. And no Damon, I did not bring one back for you.

Damon: Damn.

Stefan: What did you bring?

Heartsbreak: Well, for you Stefan, I brought a dog! Please don't eat it.

Stefan: Man!

Heartsbreak: For Bonnie, Elena, Caroline an Alice I brought necklaces

Caroline: Thanks love!

Heartsbreak: For charity I have a chocolate cake, for Gir I have waffles.

YAY!

Gir: YAY!

Heartsbreak: for Katherine i have chocolate and for fagward... Death!

Edward: *sighs* Here we go.

Heartsbreak: Shit yeah. But not yet. There are some things I have to do.

Edward: Okay I'm just gunna...*runs*

Heartsbreak: you can run but you can't hide fagward!

So you're back huh?

Heartsbreak: Yup! That plane ride was hectic.

How long was it?

Heartsbreak: Nine long hours. Couldn't sleep. I kept feeling like we were going to crash so I wanted to be alive for my last moments.

Chi: ...

Heartsbreak: Plane crashes are getting more common nowadays.

Alice: Next time you want to go somewhere I'll drive you.

Heartsbreak: Thanks Alice!

Alice: No problem.

Heartsbreak: That gives me an idea

Alice: What?

Heartsbreak: After I give birth to... Damon's child you, Caroline,Elena , Bonnie and I should go on a trip!

Alice: Sounds fun! Where?

Heartsbreak: I don't know. Somewhere warm. What do you guys say?

Bonnie: Sounds fun!

Elena: Why not?

Alice: I'll drive!

Heartsbreak: Yay! Caroline you in?

Caroline: Hell yeah!

Heartsbreak: Great! Hey Tara want to come?

Tara: Sure!

Heartsbreak: Good! Then it's settled the six of us on vacation.

Caroline: How are we going to get the money?

Heartsbreak: I've got that covered. All you have to do is pack.

Elena: When are you due?

Heartsbreak: Soon. Wait! Who's doing the delivery!

Bonnie: Well find someone don't worry.

Heartsbreak: Thanks Bon.

Dr. Phil: I think that you have some issues we need to work out.

Heartsbreak: NO I DONT! * blows up doctor Phil*

Katherine: Thank you! Creepy bastard.

Heartsbreak: Speaking of killing where's Edward?

Edward: Here.

Heartsbreak: I'm sorry that I tried to kill you.

Edward: It's okay.

Heartsbreak: Do me a favor and Stand on the big red X for me?

Edward:*stands on it*

Heartsbreak: *activates trap door*

Edward: * falls into a pit filled with snakes and sharks*

Heartsbreak: Not sorry!... Bastard!

That's a new one.

Heartsbreak: Yes. Yes it is.

How come I can't come on vacation with you?

Heartsbreak: Can you update from where we're going? If so sure!

I'll check

Heartsbreak: Okay. Let me know!

I will!

Damon: Can I come?

Heartsbreak: No!

Damon: Why?

Heartsbreak: Girls only.

Damon: Okay. No problem

Bonnie: Perv.

Elena: Exactly like the guy you met

Heartsbreak: I know.

Damon: You met a guy! Where how? *twitch*

Heartsbreak: You have no right to the details. Plus you're engaged to Pam. In case you forgot.

Damon: Whatever.

Bonnie: Wait! What about the kids?

Heartsbreak: Two options. One: leave them with Damon and Pam. Or two take them with us.

Elena: Let's take them.

Bonnie: Yeah, if we leave them here who knows what'll happen!

Heartsbreak: Good! Is it okay with Tara, Alice, Caroline and chi?

I'm okay with it

Tara: It's cool with me

Alice: Why not?

Caroline: Okay!

Heartsbreak: Then it's settled!

Wait where are we going?

Heartsbreak: I don't know somewhere sunny though. It should be warm too. Had enough of winter.

Bonnie: I agree!

Chi: Me too!

Heartsbreak: Great!

Bonnie: This is going to be so much fun!

Heartsbreak: I have a question for everyone on the show! Well, actually two.

1. Where should we go?

2. Would you like to come?

Damon: I thought this was girls only

Heartsbreak: It was. I changed my mind

Damon: Why?

Heartsbreak: I want to see some people hook up!

Damon: Can I come? We can hook up

Pam: Uh hello!

Heartsbreak: You. Are. Engaged. To. PAM!

Pam: Exactly.

Damon: Whatever.

Heartsbreak: Oh two people not allowed... Fagward and Bella! Stay AWAY!

Alice: Nice.

Heartsbreak: Hi wolves corner!

Mason: Hi.

Tyler: Can we come?

Heartsbreak: I did say everyone. Excluding Edward an Bella didn't I?

Tyler: Thanks!

Heartsbreak: You're welcome Tyler!

Everyone: So we're leaving when Kally is born?

Heartsbreak: Yup! Start packing!

Everyone: Why?

Heartsbreak: Because I think I'm in labor! FUCK!

Oh shit! Who's doing the delivery?

Bonnie: I guess me ,Elena and Caroline?

Elena: okay

Caroline: let's go! Hurry!

~about 8 hours later~

Heartsbreak: *screaming* FUCK YOU DAMON!

Damon: Wow.

Stefan: Haha Damon you'd better run after she's recovered.

Damon: I know.

~another 4 hours later~

*screaming stops*

kally:*crying*

She's alive. Is Love?

Bonnie: They're both alive!

Everyone: Good!

~ in the backroom~

Heartsbreak: Bonnie do you know a spell to help me recover?

Bonnie: yeah. You want me to try it?

Heartsbreak: Yes.

Bonnie: *does spell*

Heartsbreak: Thank you.

Bonnie: You're welcome

Heartsbreak:*walks outside and up to Damon*

Everyone: This won't end well

Heartsbreak: *kicks Damon in the balls*

Damon: OWWWW! Fuck!

Heartsbreak: You can come with us now.

Damon: Thanks...

Heartsbreak: Yeah

Everyone: You did deserve it Damon!

Damon: How?

Everyone: You impregnated her!

Damon: I really am sorry love.

Heartsbreak: I forgive you

Damon: Still friends?

Heartsbreak: Still friends

Chi: Well let's start packing!

Everyone: Yay!

Heartsbreak: You do that! I've gotta pack to so me and Kally are going to go home and pack.

Chi: Awwww! Okay!

Heartsbreak: Before I go, does anyone have questions for me? I'm happy to answer! And also answer my questions form earlier!

Everyone: Okay!

Heartsbreak: Bye!

Katherine: What about me?

Rogue: No one cares about you.

Katherine: Shut up. * Screams*

How did she get out of the backroom.

Rogue: Too annoy me. And I'm back. Stefan - I haven't bothered you in a while... considering you were stuck in a cave with Katherine

Katherine: *Screaming in the background* Get that fucking thing outta me!

Rogue: I'll give you a reprieve - I think that was enough torture to last a life time... BTW how was the smell she hadn't taken a bath for a few weeks...

Katherine: FUCK YOU ROGUE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Castiel just give me drugs and tell it to stop smiting me!

Rogue: I love the sound of that woman in pain Say Elena and Charity how are your hands doing?

Elena & Me: * Screams* THE PAIN!

Rogue: You know my only concern is ... she might eat the kid after its born...

Pam: We won't let that happen will we Honey bun?

Damon: Nope

Tyler: What interest do you have in Kats kid - it is Castiel's after all.

Damon: I'm not interested in the kid - I'm not pedo like sparkles.

Eric: Basically wolfy - Pam and Damon want to create a super vampire - they're hoping one of Damon's sons mates with the half angel and produces a stronger vampire too bad nothing can be stronger than me right Caroline? *Eric stares into Caroline's eyes*

Tyler: Back off old man! *Eric bats Tyler away and he ends up in the Bunny corner*

Eric: Come my pretty *Eric takes Caroline to the back room.

Sookie and Alice: Fuck no! Not another one!

Rogue: I guess I'm going to have to get Caroline a team Eric outfit...Anyway - Hey Billy I see you're back with Bella... why you both in a wheelchair...

Bill: She demon! I was used over and over and-

Rouge: *yawns and presses big yellow button - Bill gets abducted by aliens*

Bella: I got run over a few times - that ambulance really knocked the wind outta me the third time it ran me over...

Rogue: Interesting story now you go bye bye *Rogue smiles and presses little purple button and barney kidnaps Bella* Oh well my work here is done - someone needs to wear a team Rogue bikini next update - which had better be soon... right Charity? *Rogue holds rubber chicken and Pam brings out whips and chains*

Y-y-yes.

Rogue: *puts a card in Eric's pocket* Meet me at that address at midnight *Rogue blows a kiss and disappears in a red mist*.

…

CookieWafflePowerToughGirl: IM BAAACCKKK! Although I've been dead between all the crazy crap my principal's making me do like organizing the talent show,Florida trip to plan, T-shirts for my group to pass out etc etc. Sigh I'm so swamped.

Caroline: I wish I could help. I'm good at that type of stuff.

CookieWaffle: Alice, a hug pwease?

Alice: * Hugs Cookie* Poor baby.

CookieWaffle: Papa John! Here's your baby girl. Her name's Bisé Winchester. She was born the day after New Years.

Dean: Wait. We have a sister?

Sam: I never knew.

CookieWaffle: Stay away from her. * Glares*

Dean & Sam: ...

CookieWaffle: I have chapters to write(before Beatrix kills me for being absent) TTYL!

Bye, bye!

BeatrixMayfeir: CHIIII *hugs and covers you with kisses* my god that was epic! I can't look at the poster of Ed and Al I've got in my room because I think about Stefan running after Al and crying "IRON MAN" and I start laughing like an idiot *looks at Stefan* BWAHAHAHAH!

Stefan: ...Thank you. * Twitch*

Beatrix: Sorry Stef but it was too funny! I think it is my favorite one, right now!

Stefan: Ha-ha!

Beatrix: Chi can I make a drawing of it? I just have to decide if I want to draw Stefan while he runs after Al or after he catches him and he's hugging him! And if I manage to do a pretty one you will be the second one to see it because I will be the first one of course! What do you think?

Sure! I can't wait to see it.

Beatrix: Oh Damon I have that power too! Look*snaps fingers and the two Sam burst into flames*that's so cool, even if I think it's not my power but Lucas'! Oh well, I will enjoy it until it last*snaps again and Edward and Bill start screaming*!

…

Beatrix: I love Iron Man too! Tony is my favorite hero with Wolverine and Batman! Who's yours Chi? By the way Robert Downey Jr. is hot!

He is way hot! I love batman, I like his deep voice and I had a dream about him...

Damon: Like what?

Nothing. * Looks around the room*

Beatrix: Oh and I agree with Crowley's Bitch! I want the Damon/Eric fic too! And I absolutely want to read Damon rants!

Damon: Thank you!

Beatrix: About that Damon/Eric...

Damon: * Twitch* NO!

Eric: I want it.

Damon: I hate you. Like now.

Beatrix: Chi, can I have Sebastian delivering my babies when the time comes? And can we have a threesome with him when I will be fully recovered? For now, how about tea and lots of cookies of every flavours? I'm hungry!

Edward go get cookies!

Edward: * Sighs* Yes. * Grabs all the cookies we have*

Beatrix: While I'm eating, Chi can you do me a favour ? Go change in this clothes, please? And take Rogue with you, I need both of you!

Damon: What kind of clothes?

Beatrix: A pretty and sexy yukata for them both!

Damon: *slaps me upside the head* FOR WHAT?

Beatrix: Jeez, you are so damn jealous sometime! I want to take pictures of them in all the sexy poses Rogue can come up with and sell them! It's my first "little project for make easy money" of this year! And Chi needs money to pay the Fan Fiction person! I have already made a lot of money with The Stefan calendar of 2011!

Damon &Tara: With what?

Beatrix: *Gives Damon a copy*

Damon: *looks at the same time shocked, horrified and proud* little bro!

Stefan: S-she blackmailed me!

Tara: In doing photos almost naked?

Beatrix: I have taken a total nude photo of is back! *Shows the June page* he has a really nice ass!

*Chi and Lestat faint*

Tara: *whispers*What did you use to blackmail him, for god sake?

A picture of him kissing Damon's forehead while he was sleeping!

Damon: * Twitch* You bastard!

Stefan: ...

Sookie: Ow so cute! Can I have a copy?

Beatrix: Sure thing, I like you! You're so much better than Elena and Bella! At least you knew, since from the beginning, that Bill is a really lame name for a vampire!

Bella: That's my man!

Bill: My name's not lame.

Beatrix: The months of that calendar I like better are June, February, August and December! In the last one he's wearing just a pair of red silk boxer, boots and a Santa hat!

Tara: I want one.

Stefan: * Blush*

Beatrix: Thanks god this week we'll have Supernatural and TVD back, I was in withdrawal! And TVD for my big sis is really a drug! She has read all the books in two months and now she's watching the season 2 with subtitles! She has never watched something with subs before! I really think the Apocalypse is coming!

Lol.

Beatrix: Oh Rogue *makes out with her* I love being your step mom! Crowley honey*puts her arms around him and bit lightly at his neck* we need to make her a big present! Maybe we can give her an army or maybe War's ring!

Crowley: We'll think about the perfect present later, now I want you handcuffed to the bed in the backroom!

Beatrix: Yes, master!*runs to the backroom*

*Hours later*

Beatrix: My god with all that sex I hope the babies will come out soon, I can't manage my favorite positions like this! By the way I've finally watched the trailer for the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie and I really can't wait! Jack that new scar is so sexy on you*kisses it*!

Jack: Thanks love. * Holds up a bottle*

Beatrix: Now with the serious stuff! Chi I hope your dad is fine, my mom is having some trouble with her health too, the doctors doesn't seems to find what's wrong with her and she's in and out of the hospital a lot lately, so I know what it feels like!

My heart goes out to you and you mom.

Damon: If you...

Not that time Damon!

Damon: Fine. Whatever.

Beatrix: Don't listen to those stupid people because you have created a wonderful fic where we fangirls can express our craziness and we love you for this! And for me personally you're being of great help for my English, because I hope I'm improving a little in my writing but with all the errors I still do yours are nothing, so don't worry I will distract those haters! So please cheer up because we really love you, ok?

Thank you.

Beatrix: Oh and if you ever want to come visiting Italy let me know, you can stay with me! But I'm warning you, I suck at writing but at talking I'm even worse because I really don't have anybody to talk in English with and without practice it's always harder to learn something!

Lol, it alright. I'm trying to learn Japanese but I have no one to practice with. Mainly because there's so many Korans here. * Drool* Hot, hot...

Damon: * Hits me in the head*

Beatrix: Love you Chi *kisses you* see you the next chapter! Bye – Beatrix

Bye!

Hannah: Cas hum you know I find you really adorable, but *grabs something out of Cas'  
pockets* taking my underwear is a bit creepy.

Castiel: ...I didn't...* Runs away*

Hannah: Hey Pony! You know what time it is!

Sam: N-no!

Hannah: RIDE DEM COWBOYS! * Jumps on Sam's back*

Sam: WHY?

Hannah: Hey babe. I dressed up for you today. -in Dean cheerleader uniform-

Dean: * Blush* That's nice.

Hannah: Damon I'm sorry about Rose. *Hugs*

Damon: Thanks.

Hannah: Jeremy did you put the moves on Bonnie yet?

Mason: Can't you tell.

Jeremy: Shut up!

Hannah: Elena do you or do you not remember Damon telling you he loves you?

Elena: What are you? A lawyer?

Damon: ...

Hannah: Bonnie if you get with Luka, I may have to beat the shit out of you.

Bonnie: ...Luka?

That guy on the show.

Bonnie: Oh.

Hannah: You forgot him didn't you.

Bonnie: ...

Hannah: Hey Fagward. How're the sparkles doing?

Edward: I hope you chock on a popcile. I pink one.

Damon: You suck Edward.

Edward: Your mother does too.

Damon: * Twitch*

Hannah: Hey Captain Jack how many STDs does Ke$ha have?

Jack: ...I..rather not answer that.

Damon: Must be a lot.

Stefan: *** **Nods*** **

Hannah: How's the tomb treating ya Kat?

Katherine: I'M HAPPY A BABY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!

Hannah: …Caroline, Tyler or Matt? Who are you going to choose?

Caroline: Can I just have Eric?

Sookie & Alice: NO!

Hannah: Matt you are so adorably clueless.

Matt: I know.

Hannah: Stefan you get the honor of singing me a song today! Sing Firework dressed up  
like Katy Perry!

Stefan: Fuck.

Tara: I'll help you.

~hour later~

Damon: Bwhahahaha!

Stefan: Shut up!

Hannah: Let's go.

* Music starts*

Stefan: Do you ever feel like a plastic bag  
Drifting throught the wind  
Wanting to start again

Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin  
Like a house of cards  
One blow from caving in

Do you ever feel already buried deep  
Six feet under scream  
But no one seems to hear a thing

Do you know that tehre's still a chance for you  
Cause there's a spark in you

You just gotta ignite the light  
And let it shine  
Just own the night  
Like the Fourth of July

Cause baby you're a firework  
Come on show 'em what your worth  
Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh!"  
As you shoot across the sky-y-y  
That's all you getting out of me...bastards.

Damon: * Holding up a camera* Revenge bitch!

Stefan : * twitch*

Bye! Well this is the end of our show. I want to thank Dark-Supernatural-Angel, Rogue Assasin, Crowley's Bitch 13, HeartsBreakInLove, CookieWafflePowerToughGirl, BeatrixMayfeir, and Breakfastclub85 for reviews and thanks to the reads!

Caroline: Peace!

Pam: Love!

Mason: What the fuck is this?

Jason: Looks like dog treats.

Damon: Your welcome.

Mason: Fuck you!

...Mom?

Chi's mommy: Hi. I came to check things out.

* Coughs* Eric.

Eric: Huh?

Chi's mommy: * Grabs Eric and takes him in the dressing room*

...DAMN IT!

Damon: Why do I feel that I'm next?

You probably are.

Sam: Bye guys


	78. PokeDamon?

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Pokémon!

Stefan: …Why do I have a ball in my hand?

Ash: Hey! We're battling here!

Stefan: …Where's Damon. Not that I cared.

Ash: …Can we battle now.

Misty: Throw the poke ball!

Ash: O.O! Misty! Your back?

Misty: I've always been here!

Ash: Wait…where's Dawn?

Misty: She went to the woods.

Ash: I think she's been in there for a few hours.

Misty: *looks around* She's not buried in a ditch or anything…*Nervous laugh*

Stefan & Ash: …What?

Misty: Start the battle!

Ash: Pikachu! I choose you!

Pikachu: *Runs to the middle* Pika, pika!

Stefan: *Looks at the ball then throws it* I choose…whatever.

Damon: THE HELL!

Stefan: O.o…

Damon: Wait till I get me hand on that bitch!

Never! *Runs away*

Damon: *Twitch* I have cat ears!

Stefan: Pfft…

Damon: SHUT UP!

Ash: That's a new one but don't let it get to you Pikachu!

Damon: That's a hot chick.

Stefan: She's looks 13.

Damon: Elena's 17. Everyone is jailbait to me.

Stefan: Shouldn't you be looking at…

Damon: Pfft what's that little…

Ash: Thunder shock now!

Pikachu: *Shocks Damon*

Stefan & Misty: Pretty lights.

Damon: *Twitch then kicks Pikachu*

Ash: Aw! Pikachu!

Damon: *Boredly* Oh no. I killed him.

Pikachu: MUTHERFUCKA!

Everyone: …

Pikachu: *Storms over* YOU DEAD BITCH BOY!

Ash: He can talk?

Misty: I thought he was a girl.

Damon: Hey Stefan…Stefan? *Looks over and watch Stefan run*

Pikachu: PI…KA…CHU!

* * *

Um…thanks for ruining my childhood.

Damon: Shut up.

Did you really have to get Misty's number?

Damon: Yep.

Stefan: He got his ass kicked by a yellow rat.

Damon: You ran!

Stefan: I'm just smart.

Edward: Pfft.

Damon: Like you can talk.

Pam: You know your fans are going to be pissed.

*Sighs* I know. But my computer broke!

Alice: How?

My dumbass dad! HE CRACKED THE SCREEN AND I CAN'T SEE SHIT! *Twitch*

Katherine: Oh shut up. Do you know how long I was in labor because of you?

*Smirks*

Katherine: *Slaps me upside the head*

Ow!

Caroline: Well let's start this show.

Yeah.

Bonnie: *Yawns* I'm so tired.

Sam # 2: Me too.

Tara: You've been stalking me for the last…I don't know…month.

Sam # 2: But I love you Tara.

Stefan: Please redeem yourself before I shove my foot up your butt.

Damon; Hopes it gets stuck.

Stefan: …

…Let's just start the show.

Random Person: SCREW YOU SANTA!

It's not Christmas.

Random Person: WELL SCREW YOU CUPID!

Alice: Please go away.

Random Person: NEVER!

Alice: Chi.

Huh?

Alice: Look away.

What?

Damon: *Covers my eyes* Go ahead*

Wait what are you doing?

Alice: *Grabs Random person and kills him*

…

Elena: Um…Okay.

Nightfall12: This story is so funny. Nice job!

I…can't…breathe!

Damon: She's says thank you.

Tara: Why are you covering her nose and mouth?

Damon; You just pay attention to your boyfriend and pedobear over there.

Lestat: I'm not pedobear!

Damon: Wasn't talking about you but you can be pedobitch.

Lestat: …

Edward: Asshole.

Tyler: This is why I stay in the wolf corner.

Leah: I'm watch you witch. *Glares at Bonnie*

Bonnie: Keep watching.

I…dying.

Damon: That's the point.

Nightfall: …I'm leaving.

*Pries Damon arms off* TAKE ME WITH YOU!

Damon: Come back here.

STRANGER DANGER! *Runs away*

Jack: Whoa talk about déjà vu, loves.

Leah: *Shakes head* I came on this show for what?

For the insanity because you'll never be in character here.

Leah: …I don't like you already.

…Okay…then.

Heartsbreak: hello all! What's up?

My mommy's here and she took Eric to the dressing room.

Damon: I feel like I'm next.

Heartsbreak: Deal with it Damon.

Damon: O.O

Hahahaha!

Caroline: So have you decided where we're all going on vacation yet?

Heartsbreak: Not yet.

Bonnie: So anyways, you said your daughters name is Kally is that her full name love?

Heartsbreak: Kally is actually her nickname.

Elena: What's her full name?

Heartsbreak: Kalista Salvatore.

Alice: That's a beautiful name love.

Heartsbreak: Thanks it means "most beautiful"

Tara: Wow!

Heartsbreak: Thanks!

Can't wait until we go on vacation!

Heartsbreak: I know!

Have you decided where we're going yet?

Heartsbreak: Nope. No idea.

Don't worry we'll figure this out love.

Heartsbreak: I know Hun.

Stefan: Hi Love!

Heartsbreak: Hi!

Stefan: This vacations going to be great! We should go to the Bahamas or Miami somewhere with scenery!

Heartsbreak: Totally! They're both beautiful places.

Damon: Yes let us go to the Bahamas!

Heartsbreak: And you're excited why?

Damon: Bahamas has pretty dolphins.

Heartsbreak: O.O

Damon: What?

Heartsbreak: If you kill one of those adorable dolphins I swear!

Damon: *sighs* Fine!

Heartsbreak: Good!

Bonnie: Wow love.

Heartsbreak: Hey, you've gotta save those cute dolphins, they always look like they're smiling! Even when they're not inside...

Everyone: Okay?

Heartsbreak: And Katherine if you were asking me if you could come with us the answer is... And I can't believe I'm about to say this but... Fine.

Katherine: Good!

Heartsbreak: But kill someone that's not Dr. Phil or dr. drew and I kill you.

Castiel: Please, take her on that trip and don't bring her back!

Heartsbreak: No promises. But I'll try.

Castiel: Thanks

Heartsbreak: You're welcome

Let's hope you get some feedback so you can decide where we're going

Heartsbreak: Me too! Anyways I must be going home now bye everyone!

Everyone: Bye

Edward: Yes! I'm spared!

Heartsbreak: Nope! Gir, Eddie wants a hug and I heard if you hug him hard enough, waffles come out of him

Gir: YAY! *Hugs Edward*

Edward: No!

*Sounds of bones cracking*

Crowley's Bitch 13: Hey everyone! Eric I just realized I haven't said hi to you in a while soooooo…HI! Wanna go to the back room?

Eric: Sure. *Stretches* You're mom gave me a good workout.

O.O…*Throws up and cries* I DON'T WANNA KNOW! OH MY EYES! MY BRAIN! MY INNOCENTS!

Crowley's Bitch: *Shakes her head*

Sebastian: *Pats me on the back* Let it all out.

Lestat: THAT'S MY JOB! *Glares at Sebastian*

Sebastian: Pfft. *Smirks*

Damon: …Why am I annoyed?

Crowley's Bitch: Damon you can join us if you want. He only way to put it out is for

Damon: No. No way in hell. Not even if there was a fire and the only way to put it out was that he had to touch me!

But you kissed him…didn't you?

Tyler: Gay.

You shouldn't be talking.

Lestat: You're kinda hot.

Tyler: …

Crowley's Bitch: So…How about Lucy for your daughter's name?

Crowley: Sure. I'm not that picky when it comes to names. Just don't name her Emily.

Why?

Crowley: Don't ask.

But…

Crowley: Don't ask.

Crowley's Bitch: Dean and Sam! *shoves there kids at them* you get to take care of them for 3 chapters!

Dean: Wait? What?

Sam: AW! *Baby throws up on him* …Ew.

Crowley's Bitch: Chi have u ever seen the show "lie to me"?

Only one time. I haven't really had time to watch TV shows like I use to.

Crowley's Bitch: Today I went to the movies with my friend and there's a cut out of Justin Bieber for his movie so we took pictures of us both strangling it.

Damon I will eat him.

Are you sure?

Damon: *Thinks about it* Never mind. If I eat him I might end up like Edward or worst. *Points to Lestat*

Lestat: Bite me.

Damon: Okay. Just stay over there because you smell…a lot.

Lestat: …

Crowley's Bitch you need a breath mint.

Lestat: FINE! *Runs away*

Damon: Wanna go run after him Stefan?

Stefan: Oh screw you Damon.

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone I'm super tired so bye!

Bye.

JediPrincess-Knight: schmazing!

Thanks!

Fanfick addict: I looove those little shots, they are hilarious, although extremely OOC. original Stefan is too calm and reasonable to behave like that. and the 'real' Damon - "...he doesn't get mad. He just gets even..." ;)

Damon: Of course we're OCC.

It's OOC.

Damon: And the different is?

OCC sounds like an illness and OOC means out of character.

Damon: …Smart ass. Well I'm OOC because I'm tired of being portrayed as an Emo. *Looks over Stefan* What's your excuse for being a pussy?

Stefan: *Tackles Damon*

Fanfick addict: This didn't explain anything.

It never does. *Sighs* Damon your support to be the Bad boy with a heart.

Damon: *Kicks Stefan* I drum at my own beat…bitch.

….Jerk.

Hannah: Cas I know angels don't sleep, but do you really have to spend your nights watching me sleep? At first it was cute...but now it's starting to be Fagward-ish.

Edward: You drool in your sleep.

Dean: *Kicks him*

Hannah: Dean if you dressed up like Batman, I'd be the happiest girl in the world!

Dean: *Sighs* Let's do this

Hannah: Can you two sing me Wanted Dead or Alive by Bon Jovi, Sam and Dean? Pleeeease!

Sam: I hate you.

Hannah: I could have you dressed up.

Dean; *Dressed up as batman*

*Low whistle* Nice.

Damon: Wanna keep your eyes?

…Pam Damon keeps threaten me!

Pam: *Yawns* I'm tired.

*Music starts playing*

Sam: It's all the same  
Only the names will change  
Everyday  
It seems we're wastin' away

Another place

Where the faces are so cold  
I drive all night  
Just to get back home

Dean: I'm a cowboy  
On a steel horse I ride  
I'm wanted  
Dead or alive  
Wanted  
Dead or alive

Alice: Take it off!

Caroline & Bella: YEAH!

Whoa!

Hannah: Damon if you ever need company in that huge bed of yours, I'd gladly volunteer.

Damon; *Smirks* I hope you keep your word.

Dean: *Stares at Damon*

Damon: *Throws a book at him*

Katherine: That's the only way from him to pick up a book.

Well he read Twilight.

Damon: Worst year ever.

Year?

Damon: Like you can talk. It took you two years to finish it.

I lost the book and had to start on New moon!

Hannah: Edward ...I'm not even going to waste my time.

Edward: Thank god cause I didn't even want to see you.

Hannah: Jasper where have you been?

Jasper: A coffin.

Alice: Keep talking and I'll drag you back there. *Twitch*

Damon: What did you do?

Jasper: I don't even want to talk about it.

Everyone: …

Hannah: Anyways. Mason, your wolf friend Jules is a bitch.

Mason: Like you.

Hannah: WHAT!

Mason: No I said pitch. Stop forcing things in my mouth.

Edward: If you ask Jacob he might.

Jacob: *Flips him off*

Hannah: Chi you should bring Alaric on here! I call first dibs on making out with him!

Tyler: Great more wolves. We need a bigger corner!

Seth: Yay!

Leah: Why am I here?

Hannah: Jack please don't ever have kids with Ke$ha. The world is begging you.

Jack: Too late love.

Hannah: Oh god why!

Jack: It's a beautiful little girl.

Bella: Someone call CPS.

Hannah: Hey puppy! Today you get to run in high heels as you give me a piggyback ride!

Sam: MAN! *Puts on pink high heels*

Hannah: *Jumps on his back* You must really do well in high heels.

Sam: Shut up. *Runs around*

Hannah: Chi you should bring Bela from Supernatural on here temporarily just so I can kick her bitch ass.

Who's Bela?

Bella: Me?

Sam: *Sighs* Just bring her on here.

Okay?

Hannah: Bye!

Bye.

Rogue: Wow Chi that was fast I expected you to take like a week... not that I'm complaining... Edward my little minion where's that uniform I told you to wear?

Edward: Uniform...

Rogue: You know the one that says Rogues Bitch...

Edward: I thought I was your minion!

Rogue: *Shrugs* Minion bitch - both mean the same thing now put it on before IO change my mind and start torturing you again!

*Edward vanishes to the dressing room*

Rogue: FYI Charity I caught Edward stealing your used panties...

Pervert.

Edward: You already knew.

Rogue: Billy Tutu on and your dance partner is Sam! Whichever one of you lags will get fed to my Crocs by Edward.

Bella: No don't feed Bill to the Crocs feed me - I can't live without him!

Rogue: *Rogue cuts Bella's head off with a chainsaw and throws her body to Lestat* Go wild and stay away from Chi you freak - Mason come here

Mason: You're not going to kill me here as well?

Rogue: No I have better plans. *Rogue takes Chi's hand and places it in Mason's* I now pronounce you fuck buddies - you can get rid of Lestat now

Lestat: You can't do that!

Rogue: I just did *Rogue shoots Lestat between the eyes with a crossbow* fucking fag

Damon & Pan: …Do it again!

Rogue: Hey Bon - why don't you admit that you want to go all Lesbo with Elena?

Bonnie: Because I have kids now

Rogue: Well you could have done better - Caroline is so much prettier and has more personality why you wanna go scissor the Bella clone?

Caroline: I agree, if it wasn't for Eric I'd probably show you how much better than Elena I am...

Eric: What's stopping you my little pet...

Caroline: You mean I can?

Eric: of course!

Bonnie: Will you join? *Drool falls out the side of Bonnie's mouth*

Eric: If the two of you make it entertaining enough...

Caroline: *Grabs Bonnie* To the backroom stat!

Eric: We'll be a while...

Damon:...

Pam: Let's go watch!

Damon: I knew there was a reason I married you! *Damon and Pam race to the backroom*

Rogue: Hmmmm lets see that leaves the wolf corner... Charity, Dean... Sam you bastard! DANCE! *Rogue whips Sam's thighs leaving bright red marks*

…

Rogue: Tara and steffie - you two are in charge of changing Sam and Bill's dance styles till Pam returns and Edward is at your beck and call Tara anything you need call him - even if its to get bird poop of your car windshield.

Tara: Hey Stef where are you going with my car keys?

Stefan: To park under a tree that has a lot of birds

Jacob: Good thinking unsparkly Edward.

Leah: Don't be looking at the wolf corner that way - I will tear your ass apart!

Rogue: Leah I so love you! You remind me of me... *Rogue makes out with Leah and feels up her boobs*

Seth: Stop molesting my sister in front of me!

Rogue: *Twitch* Go dig a hole and bury yourself. Hey Wolverine... its been a long LONG time say wanna make up some new positions with me and Leah?

Wolverine: I'd love to except the backroom is occupied...

Rogue: Who said anything about the back room - let's just use daddy Crowley's office *Rogue disappears with Leah and Wolverine in a cloud of black smoke*

*A few days later and Leah, Wolverine and Rogue appear*

Seth: Oh my God Leah! You're okay I thought she ate you or something!

Leah: Oh grow some balls Seth and stop acting like my mother - I'm a big girl *All the other wolves giggle*

Rogue: I see Kats back with the baby Awww she's angelic I bet you get them good looks from your dads side of the fence - now that you're here... *Rogue starts up rusty chainsaw* Oh Kat I am going to make the Texas chainsaw massacre look like a Disney sitcom compared to what I will do to you! *Rogue chases Katherine right off the show*.

…OH MY GOD!

Edward: IT'S JAPENSES HITLER!

Mailman: Letter of copyright.

Fuck.

Rogue: Seriously Chi - Lance Bass! Gosh I hated every guy in N'sync including Justin Timberlake the only dude I actually liked was JC - he's hot and I STILL don't like JT.

I was young and confused! I loved Nick Cannon once upon a time!

Tyler: Who's Nick Cannon.

Jacob: Sounds like food.

Rogue: I've come up with a catch phrase for Justin Bieber... Well actually two - one is Justin Bieber - every pedophiles wet dream and two Justin Bieber - Come on Father let us sin...

Why is everyone looking at me?

Leah: The first one applied to you.

The 14 year I love is a computer program!

Len: Stay away from me pedo-chi.

*Fan girl scream* Come live at my house and live in my room!

Len: I'm going to call the police.

Len Kagamine! *Swoons*

Damon: Pedo.

*Twitch*

Rogue: I really can't stand that dude and now he's going to act! Hey Jer you were in an almost porno! I watched piranha and there you were between 2 naked girls and then you kiss this chick while piranha's were biting you - really Jer I'd think you'd try to get outta there first then bang her.

Jeremy: I can't help it.

Rogue: …Stupid…Chi here drink this potion it will make your hands feel better. By the way why are all of you grouped up on the other side of the room ...

Crowley: My dear you're covered from head to toe in blood and holding a rusty chainsaw that has Katherine's blood dripping from it...

Rogue: Oh that... *Rogue snaps fingers and is dressed in her Yellow Team Eric cheer leading outfit* See all clean now - Here Charity drink the potion.

Charity: *Drinks the entire bottle*

Rogue: I forgot to mention as a side effect it will make you start seeing things...

Charity: Oh my god MARTIANS! And they want Dean!

Dean: HELL NO! You bastards will NEVER probe me again!

*Eric walks out of back room with Bonnie in one arm and Caroline in the other*

Bonnie: That was amazing - I wish I thought of doing that with you earlier Caroline *Caroline and Bonnie make out*

Caroline: And Eric ordering us and watching us made it even hotter.

Elena: Where is Damon?

*Moans heard coming from the back room*

Eric: Pam is trying something new with him... Now I usually don't say anything about your ridiculous obsession with Damon but stay away - he's Pam's now and I really don't want to taint my hands with your blood...

Rogue: But I DO! *Rogue incinerates Elena*

Edward: Do it again!

*Rogue incinerates Edward*

Alice: I thought he was your minion...

Rogue: Doesn't mean I was going to get soft on him

Sookie: Eric Northman you come here right now!

Eric: Why?

Sookie: I'll tell you why! *Hit Eric with a frying pan*

Alice: Cause we're tired *Hits Eric with baseball bat*

Sookie: Of sharing you *Hits Eric again*

Alice: So pick one of us! *Alice squeezes Eric's neck*

Eric: Fine - I pick...

Alice: Yes!

Sookie: Yes!

Eric: Chi.

Charity: Ooooh look a flying pig! *Giggles*

Beatrix: I think you put too much magic mushroom in the potion...

Rogue: Bleh - Lets go have a female sex fest with Pam in the back... she has Damon tied with Vervain ropes so all he can do is watch...

Leah: Such delicious torture and that to on a vamp... mind if I join...

Rogue: Not at all *Rogue makes out with Leah then Beatrix and goes to back room*

Alice & Sookie: CHI!

Chi! Kitty! Len!

Len: STAY AWAY FROM ME!

Eric: *Chuckles* She's never boring.

BeatrixMayfeir: Ehi, Chi! *comes running with the Team Rogue bikini on and dragging Sebastian* let's go have sex *kisses you breathless*

What? Wait, where is your bump?

Beatrix: What? Oh, they're there, there and there*points at Cas, Eric and Crowley and the babies they are holding*

B-but when? How? When?

Beatrix: Last night! Thanks god I have Sebastian on speed dial and he came in an hurry!

Bonnie: And still you are fresh like a rose even if give birth to three babies hurts like hell and I know well!

Beatrix: *Looks at her with wide eyes* You are kidding, right? I'm a potion mistress! I was out like Cas after a bender with all kinds of drugs I have made for the occasion!

Castiel: …

Beatrix: Every women who recently gave birth: What? And you let us suffer! You never asked! I would have made you all a good price too! Cookie asked for them and got them! By the way Cookie, I won't kill you, that would be stupid, but I'll tie you to a bed and torture you with feathers and honey dust if you don't hurry with the second half of my forgiving chap!

…

Beatrix: Now, I'm fully recovered thanks to Cas and I want my promised threesome with Chi and Sebastian! Cas, will you be ok with both Lucas and Casterina for a couple hours?

Cas: Of course. Do not worry for me, I have learned a new spell that will help*whispers something in Enochian and suddenly there are two Castiel*

Beatrix: Wow! I already love this spell and you totally have to use it while we have sex!

Cas: *grins* it will be our pleasure!

Beatrix: *blushes* O-ok! Sebastian, Chi let's go*drags them to the back room*

*hours later*

Beatrix: *stumbles out of the back room with shaking legs* Oh god! I didn't know you could…*looks at Sebastian* oh god! Now I know why Ciel really keeps you, right Chi?

*Sighs*

Beatrix: *falls on a couch with Chi* we need another hour to recover, so we'll stay here and cuddle a little, ok?

Okay.

Damon: Not happy. Here. Now.

Beatrix: Eric, please, take Charity Rogue here so she can meet her aunty Chi and you can be free to act on our little plan! *whispers in your ear so Damon can't hear* Ehi Chi, I was thinking about that Damon/Eric fic and maybe what you need is a little inspiration, so I made this!

A cookie?

Beatrix: Yeah, look! *whistles* Ehi Damon, take this! *throws the cookie and Damon jumps to grab it with is mouth* Good boy!

Damon: *munches on the cookie* damn, I'm not a dog!

Oh god, what have you just given to him?

Beatrix: *Winks* Just a potion made with an aphrodisiac, some drops of truth serum and some other stuff! Hope we can finally see an honest reaction towards Eric's flirt! It's your turn Eric!

Eric: *licks his lips* it's about time!

Damon: *stares at Eric's approach with glassy eyes*

Eric: *caresses his cheek* Ehi Damon, you ok?

Damon: *throws his arms around Eric and buries his face in his neck* you smell good.

Eric: *runs his hand through Damon's hair* I taste even better.

Damon: *bites Eric and moans*

Eric: *growls* yes, finally*bites on his tongue and sticks it in Damon's mouth who starts sucking the blood from it*

*snaps finger and the two disappear*

Pam: What the hell? Where did you send them? I was watching!

I was watching too, but Chi's story is rated T and the things were becoming kind of heated so I sent them in the back room for privacy!

Pam: I'm going to watch.

Yeah, I'm coming too. Chi, come on! It's you who needs inspiration in the end!

Stefan: Oh god I'm blind!

Tara: Poor Stefan *hugs him and pets his hair* that must have been a nightmare coming true! Still, I think it was kinda hot!

Stefan: What?

Tara: I said that you are hot *smiles kindly*

Stefan: Oh, ok *hugs her back*

*the day after*

*Pam and I come out of the back room with an unconscious Chi*

Pam: You filmed it all?

Beatrix: Of course I have! You think I would waste such a great occasion?

Pam: Nah, I know you wouldn't. I want a copy!

Beatrix; We can watch it while we play!

Crowley: Honey?

Yes, Love?

Crowley: What happened to little Charity?

Beatrix: Oh, she will be fine, just lost a little too much blood! I'll give her a potion!Now, Rogue that was a really good way to punish Bill and Bella, but you couldn't have used another ship instead of the Pearl?

Rogue: It was fun.

Beatrix: Well, now we need to send someone to clean it from top to bottom *looks at the two Sams*

Sam: We have to do it, right?

Beatrix: Yep!

Sam2: But…

Beatrix: *raises an eyebrow*

Sam2: We are going now!

Beatrix: Good!

Jack: Thank you, love!

Beatrix: De nada, mi capitan!Oh and that idea for a supernatural fanfic in the future sounds good!*pats Edward on the head* poor Eddie, have to dance with that Big Foot! That it's cruel even towards you!

Edward: Thank you for seeing it my way.

Beatrix: But Rogue, now that Eddie is your minion means that I can't torture him anymore? *pouts* And I don't have an open invite to your bed *trembling lower lip*?

Dante: *pulls at my pants* don' cay aunty Tix, I luv you!

Beatrix: *hugs him* I love you too, sweetheart! I'll let you marry Charity Rogue when you're older! For now, you're stuck with candies and toys!

Dante: Yay!

Beatrix: But Chi, Mason? Really? The idiot who really believed that Katherine truly loved him?

I'm lonely.

Damon; *Twitch* Very.

Bite me.

Eric: Back off.

Damon: *Moves away* Why do I have a feeling that you violated me.

Eric: *Smirks*

Stefan: *Throws up*

Beatrix: The last things: Chi your mom rocks! And I'm thinking about studying another language too, but I'm not sure which one I want to learn more! Japanese or Russian? Damn, I can't choose! Maybe I will study Spanish since my sister already have the books!

*Smiles* I hope you have a good time learning…OMG! A FLYING MONKEY!

Mailman: Copyright!

I'M ON DRUGS! WHY DOES COPYRIGHT MATTERS!

Beatrix: *Laughs*Ok, I have to go! Bye everyone!

TempranceCrepsley1812: I know I'm new, but can Damon change me? I want to be his assistant and more! I love you Damon!

God if you get her pregnant.

Pam: Didn't I get him snipped?

Damon: *looks around and whistle* You will be my assistant and more. You have to wear cat ears!

…

Stefan: Seemed like you rubbed on him a little Chi.

Welcome to my…

Damon: No. It'll be nice to have a cat eared assistant. It'll be sexy. *Evil smirk*

Temprance run. Run now!

Damon: Shut up.

Heart-Broken-In-Love: ... There's three of them.

There was three of them in me...

Thank god their out now I can drink with out being told not too.

This isn't going to be a long review, I have too go to a party so bye

…O.o?

Heart-Broken: Party!

Aligal528: Charity,

She knows my name!

Damon & Tyler: Shut up!

Jack & Me: Ohhh.

Caroline: …

aligal: I just started reading 'Shows They Can't Do Together', and it's taken me a few days to catch up from the beginning. I absolutely love the work you've done, and 70+ chapters must not have been easy. I have to say, with how chaotic my life has been recently, your story has really cheered me up, and I must thank you for giving me that comical relief.

I believe I read that your father was ill. I hope he is doing better and I will keep him and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I know how tough it is to have a family member who is sick. You just have too stay strong, and do things that will keep your mind off of the situation, like updating your fanfics!

Thanks you. *Smiles* So nice.

aligal: Wow, there are so many babies on the show! How do you keep track of them all?

I kinda don't.

Damon: Me either.

Bonnie: We know.

Sam: Bastard.

aligal: Papa Winchester, you are hilarious! "You're no son of mine.. .Mary was fucking the post man..." That's so true, except Sammy is just as stubborn (and as good looking) as you! I think you, Dean, and Sam should go on a hunting trip together, for old time's sake. Blast mullet rock in the Impala and kick some demon-ass, like y'all used too. Maybe after some bonding with their tough-as-nails, no-nonsense Daddy, Sam and Dean will stop acting like such wussies.(Sorry boys, still love you though 3)

John: Praise to the hunters!

Dean: *Twitch* At least I can fight.

John: *looks down* You can take off the high heels now Sam.

Aligal: …*Raises eyebrow* Really.

Sam: They feel good!

aligal: …Beatrix and Chi, where do I get one of those 2011 Stefan calendars? Great idea to make money!

Stefan: *Twitch*

Aligal: Please!

Stefan: Fine. I'll mail it to you.

Tara: …

Aligal: Damon, I have a question for you. Do you still have feelings for Charity? I know that you admitted before that you did, and the way you act all jealous when any other person gives her attention...makes me wonder if your heart belongs 100% to Pam. That, and the sleeping/impregnating many other women.

Damon: *Looks at me* Why the hell I have feelings for this brat?

Eric: So cute.

*Squeal* Eric!

Damon: *Twitch*

aligal: My favorite characters on the show, in case anyone is wondering, are all three Winchesters, the Salvatore brothers, and of course the lovely host, Chi. Alice, I like your personality, just not the fact that you, er, sparkle. No offense.

Alice: None here.

Aligal: I really am not fond of anyone from the Twilight Saga, except for you and Carlisle. Besides that, though, I don't really have any hostile feelings to anyone else on the show, I just can't be bothered to name everyone I like.

Jacob: …

aligal: Hope you all have fun on vacation! Don't kill each other...

Damon; Can't promise that.

Stefan: *Sighs*

aligal: Charity, I sincerely hope you update soon. It brings me much joy to read this fic. I think I'm going to go crazy if I don't get to read the next chapter soon! Just forget about all the haters, because you are doing a great job and have the support of many other fangirls, and don't forget, under all the sarcasm and taunting, Damon cares about you too. He just needs to show it more...lol. -Ali

Damon: NEVER!

Pam: I guess I have to beat those feelings out of you huh?

aligal: P.S. Suggestions for new shows for you to tackle (you've done so many chapters, so please forgive me if any of my ideas were already used): SNL (the whole cast is already hilarious, and imagine all the skits you could do! Plus, I've always wanted to hear Damon shout, "Live from New York, it's Saturday night!"), House (I think a visit to PPTH is in order! Can you imagine all the smart-alecs on the show in a verbal dual with Dr. House?), NCIS (I think John would get along with Gibbs, considering he is also an ex-Marine), Grey's Anatomy (at Seattle Grace, all people do is hook-up in the elevators or the on-call room, so you guys would fit right in!), Live to Dance (or any other competitive dance show - Edward could put all his practice to use!).

Edward: NO MORE DANCING! NO WIRER HANGERS! *Beats the ground with fist*

See kids. This is why you should take drugs.

*~The more you know!~*

Mailman: Copyright.

DAMNIT!

JHandAC: YAYYYY This is my very first review and I LOOOOOOOVE your story! Just got this account and I only got it so I could see what it was like on here! ^.^ Say hi to the Winchesters for me!

Sam: Hi!

John: TAKE THOSE SHOES OFF!

Dean: *Sighs*

John: Take off the suit Batman!

Dean: Never!

…Well the show is over. My computer is dead which means I have to start a whole bunch of chapters over again…Damnit. But I'll try to do better on other computers. I like to thank Nightfall12, HeartsBreakInLove, Crowley's Bitch 13, JediPrincess-Knight, Fanfick addict, Breakfastclub85, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, TempranceCrepsley1812, Heart-Broken-In-Love, aligal528 and JHandAC for reviews and my readers who don't feel like leaving reviews. Here's some cookies! You guys know how to cheer a girl up, thanks!

Caroline: Peace!

Tara: Love!

Damon: O.O I GOT RAPED!

It wasn't like that.

Damon: Damn you Beatrix! It's always the cookie.

Night guys.

Damon: *Pulls out a chainsaw* BASTARDS!

Stefan: *Picks up Tara* Bye Guys!


	79. Happy Birthday!

Shows they Can't Do Together!

Happy Birthday!

Damon: Oh no.

Stefan: God no!

Lady Gaga: Hi my little monster.

Damon: CHARITY I HATE YOU!

Stefan: *Tries to walk away but Damon grabs him*

Damon: You're not going to leave me.

Lady Gaga: *Snaps fingers*Revenge is best served with a meat dress.

Damon: No please god! Don't sing.

Lady Gaga: *Smiles* I'll do more than that. Get them my little monsters!

Stefan: You just had to open your big mouth. Bastard.

Damon: If I'm going to die then you're coming with me.

What are you guys doing?

Damon: …*Hits me in the head*

OW!

Damon: Why did you bring that…meat bag here?

I like Lady Gaga.

Damon: *Hits me in the head*

OW!

Stefan: You like her too.

Damon: No self respecting…

Stefan: *Pulls out a laptop and plays a video*

*Damon dancing in front of the mirror singing Bad Romance*

Damon: …At least it's not Justin Beaver.

Stefan: *Pulls up another video with Damon singing Baby*

Damon: *Grabs me and throws me at Stefan.

*SCREAMS*

Alice: I thought you were going to keep her busy, not throwing her like a rag doll.

Katherine: DO IT AGAIN!

Takes for catching me.

Stefan: No problem. *Puts me down and walks over to Damon*

Damon: Stop looking at me.

Stefan: *Tackles Damon*

…Sooo, what cha doing?

Leah: You come in this room and you will die.

…Um okay?

Leah: I'm watching you.

…

Damon: You should go in the room now.

Jerk.

Lady Gaga: DON'T INGORE ME! *Takes off meat dress*

Everyone: *Screams*

Damon: I SEE A PURPLE WANG!

BARNEY?

Stefan: *Throws up*

MY EYES ARE BURNING!

Lady Gaga: You will love me!

I love you now put on some clothes! My eyes are melting.

Rogue Assasin: I know what its like to have your PC busted Chi - mine is giving me hassles as well. I need to get a credit card and buy myself a laptop. So how is everyone doing?

Katherine: Trying to shoot Edward out of a cannon.

Edward: …No.

Katherine: *Twitch* I'll get you.

Jack: Will there be booze?

Katherine: Yeah, sure.

Jack: Yay! I'll do it.

Seth: Ain't you guys suppose to be in the other room.

Damon: *Covered in blood*

Seth & Me: O.o?

Damon: It's nothing.

Rogue: Riiiight. My body hurts so much from gyming - I think I broke something - I can't turn without my pelvic area hurting.

Damon: Pfft. Yeah right. The gym.

Rogue: Well if Eric got Damon... then...

Damon: Wait when did Eric get me?

Eric: *Laughs* So cute, he blocked out that memory.

Damon: What the hell are you talking about?

Eric: I'll remind you soon enough.

Damon: *Twitch* Nasty bastard.

Rogue: Hey Tara...

Tara: Yeah?

Rogue: Lafayette is in trouble - it's Russel's vampire's they've taken him!

Tara: *Cocks shotgun* those bastards! I'm coming Lafayette! *Tara leaves*

Rogue: Now that she's gone... hay Stefan

Stefan: *Takes a step back* Y-Yes

Rogue: Drink this bunny!

Stefan: But I don't eat my pets

Rogue: It's not yours - it's my dad's pet bunny - now drink!

Stefan: drinks the bunny blood and collapses

Damon: What did you do to my brother! Stefan can you hear me? Stefan wake up! *Damon kicks Stefan*

Bonnie...

Bonnie: I'm on it *whispers a spell and Damon shrinks to the size of a pea*

Damon: Really?

Pam: I'll keep him in my bra so we don't lose him.

Elena: I was hoping to keep him in my panties-

Katherine: *Hits Elena with a crowbar* I hate this bitch!

Lestat: Since Eric had Damon can I have Stefan? Please please pretty please!

Rogue: *Twitch* No *Rogue cuts off lestat's head* Quick Bon - give Stefan the aphrodisiac!

Bonnie: *Injects something in Stefan*

*Backroom door opens and Eric stands there wearing only a robe*

Eric: Is he ready for me?

Caroline: Yes take him, take him now! * Stefan wakes up and stares at Eric and licks his lips*

Eric: Come my pet *Stefan crawls to Eric*

Rogue: Let's go watch!

Pam: bitch Kat - Don't forget the oxygen for pedo chi

Huh?

*several days later*

Damon: I can't believe you did that to me! Where's Stefan!

Bonnie: Calm down or I'll shrink you again!

Stefan: *Cries* Damon! Damon! My ass hurts!

Tara: Where have you guys been?

Sookie: I have something to show you Tara *Sookie takes Tara to watch the video*

Jeremy: What's the big deal leaving all us guys here alone. Where's chi?

Rogue: In the backroom - Eric's giving her blood - she was so riled up watching - she decided to join and broke her hip in the process...

Damon: *Twitch*

Rogue: I used to like Pokémon Misty is kinda cute - I wouldn't mind molesting her... or James - I always thought James was adorable even though he wasn't too bright - but Vegeta will always remain top of my fave toon people.

I like a whole bunch off toon people.

Damon: We know.

Rogue: Hey Leah...

Leah: Yeah?

Rouge: Wanna fuck? Angry sex is the best!

Damon: Can I come - but don't tie me up!

Rouge: Sure you can come - we'll tie up Alice!

Alice: What why!

*Rogue drags Alice to the backroom*

Alice: Help! RAPE!

Jasper: I'll save you! *Gets knocked unconscious with Eric's fist*

*A few hours later*

Rouge: I'm hungry...

Eric: Me too

Rouge: Chi - can you get me something to eat and a true blood for Eric?

Alice: Stefan I'm sorry I ate one of your bunnies... I was soooo hungry!

Stefan: I hate you all!

Bella: He's starting to sound like Edward...

Rouge: Chi I want a prize for being the only fan girl who didn't get knocked up! Yay for condoms!

Tyler: I agree.

Rouge: Edward because of your outburst you will dance non stop with bill and Sam for the rest of the show and if you even think of stopping I will shove barney up your ass!

Edward: …Damnit!

Rouge: Beatrix honey - you don't need an open invite to my bed - you're always welcome - in my bed, on my floor, up against the kitchen door... I bought white chocolate body paint - we should try it out when Daddy Crowley goes to work tonight...

*Nose bleed*

Damon: I want my regular size, now!

Bonnie: Your easier to handle at this size.

Stefan: *laying on his stomach* I hate you all.

Damon: Poor guy.

Rouge: SO Damon tell us about your fatherhood experience and about each of your kids *Whispers* How many does he have again?

Four?

Elena: He has some with fan girls too.

Probably enough to cover China. *Nods*

Castiel: Tell us about your vamp-angel hybrid baby.

Rouge: Okay I got to go now need to do some studying.

Crowley's Bitch 13: Hey it's 1:43am here so I'm tired but I have a question: what happens if your a girl dating a vampire and you got your period? *sighs* These are the random things that run through my mind at this time.

Wouldn't he rape you with his mouth?

Damon: I want to be big again!

Elena: I've wonder that too.

Tara: Are you okay Stefan?

Stefan: My black cherry's been popped.

Eric: *Laughs*

Crowley's Bitch: Damon do u remember what happened with you and Eric last chapter?

Damon: What happened?

He blacked it out.

Damon: Bonnie!

Bonnie: *Smirks* Fine. *Whispers a spell and make Damon grow*

Damon: Bout damn…*Throws up* EW! YOU BASTARDS!

Eric: You made him remember.

Bonnie: *Laughs* Yep.

Crowley's Bitch: I'm bored and tired take me to the backroom so I can "sleep" Eric?

Eric: Sure.

Damon: *Throws up*

Crowley's Bitch: ... anything new Chi?

I've turned 20! March 5!

Jack: Near legal drinking age, like we ever listen love.

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone tomorrow I'm going to teach my grandma how to use facebook I made her an account a while ago but she wants to learn how to use it.

Someone should teach Damon how to use one.

Damon: *Throws up* FUCK YOU!

Crowley's Bitch: Sam, dean and Crowley, so how have the kids been?

Crowley: Their alive.

Crowley's bitch: …

Dean: Well me and Sam been doing good with the kids.

Sam: Yay! *Tosses the baby and the air and catches it*

Eric: …

Edward: That baby going to be stuck in the ceiling.

Crowley's Bitch: …I don't see you dancing.

Edward: Damn.

Crowley's Bitch: Eric I shall be your bitch now because Crowley is to boring and dead. So do you want me to do anything?

Eric: Change your name and grab some rope. I like things rough.

Damon: *Throws up more*

Jacob: Poor guy.

Seth: Not really.

Crowley's Bitch: Anyone got any questions for me?

Do you think oxy-clean will get that stain out of my floor? It's so bloody!

Katherine: *Shrugs*How should I put in my harem?

Kaname: WHY?

Alice: When's your birthday?

Crowley's Bitch: Everyone it's 1:51am now so I gotta go cause I have school tomorrow...er today so bye!

Bye! Bye!

JHandAC: Sam said hi to me! *fangirl squeal*

Sam: HI! It's nice to see some of my fangirls.

JHandAC: Oh and sorry about your Dad cracking your screen, if mine did that I would be pissed...

It's still broken. I will get my revenge…I'm putting him in a home.

JHandAC: Anywaaaay, just a little note for Damon: If you don't tell Chi you like-like her lots, I WILL come into the show and personally gank you. With some help of course... ^.^ M'kay.

Damon: *Wipes his mouth* Never! Besides I have Pam. Chi-a-pet is just a perverted girl who I have feelings for…*Looks around* Who said that last part?

Soul Jr.: *Makes annoying bird noises*

Soul: Happy late 20th B-day Chi!

*Smiles* Thank you!

Caroline: What's with the bird?

Soul: This is Soul Jr. Cute huh? Where's my Steffie?

Damon: Still laying on his stomach.

Tara: *Looks at Soul* I'll shoot you.

Soul: Your so cute.

He'll hit on anything that moves…except Damon.

Soul: He might get me pregent too.

Damon: Pfft.

JHandAC: Ooookay? Hi everybody else! 'Cept Eddy. I don't particularly hate you, but I really don't like you. At all.

Edward: Great, another hater.

JHandAc: I could care less. Bye guys.

Bye!

BeatrixMayfeir: Ehi Chi *kisses you* I will be with you in a sec but first I have something to do *looks at Sam with eyes that scream "murder"* YOU ARE DEAD! *with a move of the hand Sam is pinned to the ground* fucking bastard *starts to kick him everywhere* how could you? *beats him with an iron bat* even with your soul back you could do something so horrible? I hate you *uses a chainsaw to make him in tiny pieces and kicks the head in the crocos pool direction* EDWARD!

Edward: * stands at attention* Yes ma'am!

Beatrix: Feed the other pieces to the crocos and then clean up this mess!

Edward: Yes ma'am but… you're dripping blood too. Can I prepare you a bath?

Beatrix: In your dreams *snaps fingers and the blood his gone*

Edward: * mutters* why can't she clean the floor too?

Beatrix: You said something?

Edward: I was praying for his soul!

Beatrix: Good, now move!

Tyler: He has a soul?

Caroline: Yeah, he got it back, remember?

Tyler: Nope.

John: What has that "no son of mine" done this time?

Beatrix: *runs to Cas and hugs him tight* that bastard! How could he not hug you? You're so hugable! Your face when he didn't hug you broke my heart! It was worse than kicking a puppy! He's going to burn in hell again for that! And I now declare this has the "Hug Cas Day"! So everyone hug Cas, NOW!

Gir: Yay!

Katherine: He might have rabies.

Damon: I have emotal scars.

Stefan: My ass has scars!

*Shakes head*

Beatrix: Sorry Chi, but that really pissed me off! Those mushrooms were pretty good, right?

Damon: …YOU! IT WAS YOU! WITH THAT DAMN COOKIE!

Beatrix: Oh I've seen that you have a new fan! Hi Aligal, welcome to "Chi's den of iniquity"! I like the suggestion of NCIS but Chi, if that's going to ever happen, I want Gibbs and Tony for at least two weeks all for myself! They're so damn hot! My Silver fox and my Very Special Agent *daydreaming*!

Damon: DON'T INGORE ME!

Beatrix: And yes Ali you're right, with those calendars I've made a lot of money but if only I could convince Damon to make a calendar with Stefan I would be rich!

Damon: *Throws up* Gross! My revenge will be swift and merciless!

Alice: I heard that from a show.

Me too.

Damon: Shut up.

Crowley: You already are, honey *shows a piece of paper*

Beatrix: *takes it* oh my god, we're rich!

Crowley: Exactly. Those videos are selling more than we would have imagined!

Damon: I'm almost afraid to ask but what videos?

Beatrix: Of course the one with you're little intercourse with Eric!

Damon: YOU FILMED IT? Not only you drugged me, but you filmed it too!

Beatrix: Yep, Pam's got a copy if you want to see how hot you were while moaning and pleading under Eric's body !

Stefan: The horror!

Beatrix: And the other video was the one with Rogue, Leah and Wolverine in Crowley's office!

Leah: *Twitch* And how did you get it?

Crowley: Of course my office is equipped with micro cameras and microphones! You have no idea how handy is it sometimes.

Beatrix: Oh we're going to buy a damn palace! With a dungeon equipped with every torturing machine I can get my hands on and I will try them on Sam of course, a cinema, a pool and a room for the toys!

Eric: I want a St. Andrew's cross.

Beatrix: With chains or letter cuffs?

Eric: Vervain ropes *looks at Damon with hungry eyes*

Damon: Stay the fuck away from me.

Beatrix: Ok one last thing *runs to hug Dean* you're back! Oh god keep going on like this with the sword in the rock and the mannequin and we will have the old badass and funny Dean back now that Lisa bitch is out of the picture! But I think I'll go to kill Lisa, just to be safe.

Dean: Ok but then Ben will be an orphan!

Beatrix: Don't worry I will leave a scar on his forehead, the people will call him the-boy-who-lived and he will be famous! But he's going to have a pedophile with a fixation for snakes after him called Voldy or Orochimaru or something else!

Damon: Michael Jackson?

…Stay out of this!

Beatrix: Now, I need to satisfy my sexual urges so Cas why don't you show me that spell again? *two Cas appear at her sides* Can you make it three of you?

Cas: I really love how you think sometimes, you know!

Crowley: That's why I married her!

Beatrix: Bye Chi! Bye everyone! Damon don't be mad at me! You enjoyed it and it made Pam happy! So stop whining and go get a threesome with those two! Bye*disappears in the backroom with the three Cas*

Damon: JUST YOU WAIT BASTARD! *Evil laugh*

TempranceCrepsley1812: Hi Damon I'm your assistant and im wearing the cat ears! Can just you and me go on vacation to costa rica for a little privet time? i can make it worth ur while...

Damon: Help me plan something big and it's a deal.

Temprance: And stefan why are you such a bunny muncher? I mean grow a pair!

Stefan: Yeah, you probably have more then I do. Let me borrow yours.

Eric: *Laughs*

Stefan & Damon: …I hate you.

Temprance: Damon is way more of a man than you are...Luv u Damon!

Tara: Poor Stefan!

Tyler: Happy that wasn't me.

Eric: You maybe next.

Tyler: I'll kill myself before I let that happen.

Lestat: *Cries in the corner* He popped my Stefy's black cherry!

Damon: Stefan want to plot revenge?

Stefan: Sure.

Damon: But to let you know I'll hate you after this.

Stefan: Didn't want anything else.

Elena: *Shakes head*

Bella: This is why I like Bill. At least there's no reason for him to rape guy.

Bill: Sookie please come back to me.

Bella: *Twitch*

Sookie: Good away.

Sam #2: Haha. *Points at Stefan* Can't sit straight?

Stefan: Bite me.

Lady Gaga: Hello! I'm here!

Katherine: …Why are you still here?

HeartsBreakInLove: Hey, hey, hey!

Everyone: O.O

Heartsbreak: Sorry, that was really pathetic. It sounded wayyyyyy better in my head.

Chi: It's okay love.

Bonnie:Sso how's the vacation planning going?

Heartsbreak: Well, deciding between the Bahamas or Maui.

Elena: Wowie.

Heartsbreak: Oh yeah.

Caroline: Well I'm already packed so... Whenever you're ready, I'm ready love.

Heartsbreak: Dang this girl works fast.

Bonnie: Yeah she does.

Heartsbreak: So I heard you went lesbo with Caroline.

Bonnie:Yes. Yes i did.

Heartsbreak: how was it?

Bonnie: she was amazing. Having eric there to direct us made it even better.

Caroline: yeah. It was awesome.

Heartsbreak: glad you two had fun.

Damon: oh, love I see you're back. Its good to see you.

Heartsbreak: are you okay Damon? You seem edgy.

Damon: i was raped... By ERIC!

Eric: you know you liked it. *Blows a kiss*

Damon:*twitch*

heartsbreak: ha!

Damon: love? Can I see Kally? I haven't seen her since se was born.

Heartsbreak: so youre getting the message I'm trying to send.

Damon: please, I want to see her, she is my daughter.

Heartbreak: fine, I'll go get her.

Damon: thank you love!

Heartsbreak: *comes back with kalista* this is your daughter, Damon.

Damon: she's beautiful love.

Heartsbreak: thanks she has your eyes. That's what I love most about her. They're beautiful.

Damon: yeah, she does have my eyes. Thank you for letting me see her.

Heartsbreak: you're welcome. You can see her anytime you want.

Damon: thank you love.

Katherine: I think I'm going to puke.

Alice: hello love!

Heartsbreak: Alice! It's been so long we must catch up!

Alice: alright we'll go to a bar tonight and have some fun!

Heartsbreak: finally! I've been in need of a drink for nine fucking months!

Alice: we'll take Bonnie, Elena, Caroline, Chi and Tara with us too!

Heartsbreak: oh yes!

Pam: may I come love?

Heartsbreak: alright!

Pam: excellent.

Heartsbreak: I just need someone to babysit Kalista.

Stefan: I'll do it.

Damon: I'm the father, i will.

Alice: well someones got a choice!

Heartsbreak: take good care of her Damon! Please! Next time Stefan.

Chi: yay we're going to a bar!

Heartsbreak: yay!

Alice: this is going to be amazing!

Heartsbreak: hey Gir I brought you waffles!

Gir: YAY!

Heartbreak: can you hug fagward again? I liked the sound of his crunching bones haha!

Gir: yay!

Edward: not again! *bones crunch*

Heartsbreak: not done with you yet fag!

Jacob: cant tell you the amount of times I've wanted to strangle the guy.

Heartsbreak: tell me about it. Oh my gosh! Tyler! How dare you leave Mystic Falls? I cried.

Tyler: sorry.

Heartsbreak: that's all ya got?

Tyler: * hugs heartsbreak*

Heartbreak: yay!

Damon: * twitch *

heartbreak: okay? Anyways, mason I hate your friend Jules. She ruined everything!

Mason: i know. She gets bitchy sometimes.

Heartbreak: tell me about it.

Bella: love, do you hate me?

Heartbreak: would you like me to hate you?

Bella:*runs*

heartbreak: fagward! Get over here!

Edward: what?

Heartbreak: would you like a waffle?

Edward: alright... *falls Down gasping for air*

Heartsbreak: if anyone calls an ambulance I will murder you.

Everyone: O.O

Heartbreak: well I must be going bye everyone

Chi: bye love see you soon!

Damon: goodbye love

Heartsbreak: take good care of Kally for me okay?

Damon: yeah bye!

Heartsbreak: bye

Katherine: Sappy.

Alice: Shut up Kat.

Katherine: Up yours.

Hannah: Sam, you pull of high heels surprisingly well. So you get to dress up like Katy Perry for the rest of the chappie! And sing Peacock to Cas!

Sam: …What the hell is peacock?

*Shrugs*

Sam: I really, really hate you!

Hannah: *Laughs*

Sam: *Sings* I wanna see your peacock…cock…cock…NO!

Hannah: You have to sing puppy.

Sam: You can't make me. You just raped my voice.

….Okay?

Hannah: Dean you are so hot, it's almost painful. I think we need super long backroom time. Actually I can't make it to the backroom. *starts going at it in front of everyone*

*Turns head sideways and nose bleed*

Katherine: Ew.

Damon: …

Hannah: I dare you and Fagward to get it on in the backroom, Crowley. I give you permission to use whatever torturing devices you want.

Crowley: *Evil smile*

Edward: *Runs away*

Crowley: I love the chase! *Runs after Edward*

Hannah: Chi Sorry about your computer. Dads can be so clueless.

So true.

Damon; Yep.

Katherine: Of Course.

Caroline: Do I even know my dad?

Everyone: *Shrugs* Maybe?

Hannah: You should take off your shirt more often Stefan. Like right now.

Stefan: I can't get up.

Poor Stefan.

Stefan: *Glares* You joined in.

i-it was a l-late birthday gift?

Damon: *Slaps my in the back of the head*

Ow!

Damon: Whore.

Tyler: Coming from the King.

Damon: Proud of it.

Hannah: Matt you are so adorably clueless.

Matt: Okay?

Hannah: Caroline I ship you and Matt.

Tyler: Haha, no.

Hannah: *raises eyebrow* Mason how are you still here?

Mason: *Shrugs* I don't know myself but I'm not jinxing it.

Hannah: Katherine in a strange turn of events, I have a new found admiration for you.

Katherine: Good. Now admirer me a chocolate bar.

…Really?

Katherine: Yep. I'm craving.

You don't have a bun in the oven anymore.

Katherine: So.

Hannah: *Sighs*

Alice: *Laughs*

Hannah: So Jack can we meet you and Ke$ha's daughter?

Jack: I'll bring her over soon love.

Damon: Wait. You have a kid?

Jack: At least I can keep a count on mines.

Damon: *Twitch*

Hannah: Gir! Fagward stole your waffles...and gave them sparkles.

Gir: *Gasp then chases Edward*

Edward: I didn't do anything! *Runs*

Gir: *Pulls out a ray gun*

O.O

Gir: *Shoots at Edward*

Hannah: *Smiles* Dean let's take that trip to Vegas now!

Dean; Sure?

Hannah: Yay! Bye guys!

Bye!

Vie: Hey everyone! I don't have much to say just hello all. Chi, say some things to make me look and sound good until next time. BTW...I still love Nick Cannon :D

Lol!

Aligal528: Yay! An update, FINALLY! Chi, I know what a pain in the butt computer problems can be, so you have my sympathy. Maybe you can hand-write future chapters so when you do have access to a computer, all you have to do is type it. But I do not know what kind of writer you are, because I personally feel my creative juices flow better when I'm writing something on the computer.

Same here…and I usally lose the paper I'm writing on. *Sighs* I miss my Soulless chapter! It was good now it's gone! *Cries in the corner*

Damon: Idiot.

aligal: I got my Stefan calendar! Stefan, you look great! Tara is one lucky girl, although I'm sure she already knows that. My favorite months are February, May, and August. But I think Edward's favorite is June, since I thought I saw him admiring it down at the newsstand last week.

Edward: So.

Damon: I never knew I could hate a month before.

Aligal: Papa John, I think we should start a weekly drinking/support group for people who's families are crazy and disappointing and who do bizarre things that they should get their own reality show for.

Damon: Send Eric far away. That would be the best show in the history of reality.

Eric: Only if you come with me.

Damon: Does anyone have any silver?

Eric: I have vervain.

Damon: hey Stefan, do you have a rape whistle?

Stefan: Like it did any good!

You guys need your own show.

Aligal: Yeah. You guys have more problems here then on your shows.

Alice: *nods*

Aligal: Anyone on the show can join, and the only rules are that we all bring some booze, and and are NOT welcome.

Dr. Phil & Dr. Drew: Aaahhh. No fair.

Aligal: You guys are just plain creepy. Right, Katherine? We can all drink (yay!) and help each other deal with all the crap our loved ones put us through.(John, I would've had a heart attack if I saw Sam in high heels!) I swear, my family is driving me up a wall, and if I can't find a way to deal with it, I ...might need to enlist the help of some vampires...

Damon: Sure. I have nothing better to do?

Aligal: Damon, please. You can't keep hiding your feelings! Be honest with your awesome self! It's not healthy to keep stuff in. And I'm asking you for your own good! Otherwise, might get concerned and come talk to you, and since we all know how killing people doesn't bother you...well, I don't want you to get blood on Charity's carpet.

Yeah!

Aligal: I hate it when people mess up my room.

Damon: Are you talking about Chi-a-pet or Eric cause my feelings for Eric are clear.

Aw.

Damon: *Deep evil voice* I want to dance on that bastards ashes.

No.

Aligal: I think you guys should go somewhere warm and sunny. Key West, Puerto Rico, the Mediterranean, or even Hawaii. But, then again, some of the vampires might not be able to go then, whether because they'll burst into flames, or the sparkling will hurt people's eyes. *sad face*

Damon: Well I'm moving to Puerto Rico!

Aligal: Wow, there are so many people on the show! Chi, maybe you should do a Survivor-type thing and vote some of the lesser used characters off the show. I'd bet it would be easier for you, the writer, to not have to include so many people, and plus, it'd be less confusing for the readers. And I don't mean the main characters, or just the people we all love to hate (ex, Edward). I mean the characters we wouldn't notice if they left.

What you guys think?

Damon & Stefan: Get rid of Eric.

Sookie & Alice: Never!

Jacob: Get rid of Mason. Since he came my mouth started hurting when I wake up.

Everyone: …

Mason: I have needs okay.

Elena: You can get rid of me, get her *Points to Bella*

Bella: I didn't get anytime on here!

Caroline: Of course your not getting rid of me.

Gir: I like waffles.

Eric: Let's get rid of him. *Twitch*

Kool-aid: OH YEAH!

OH HELL NO! *Pulls out a broom stick* Clean up that mess!

Aligal: …

GET BACK HERE!

Bonnie: *Sighs*

Aligal: Have a great day, everybody! And remember: no killing each other in Chi's room. And if you make a mess, clean it up! Or get a maid!

DIE KOOL AID!

Kool-aid: NO!

Beatrix: Aw hell! Today I'm officialy 21 years old and it sucks! There's something creepy in this number, I don't like it! I want to be 22 already! Sorry Chi I know I'm mad but I'm still lovely, right? And I brought the cake, chocolate cake of course*smiles*!

Yay! Chocolate!

Beatrix: Oh and I think your pc is cursed and its curse is spreading, since my poor baby died for a couple of day too! Thanks god this Christmas I have got a laptop too! Having a back up is awesome!

Lucky.

Beatrix: By the way, Sookie the frying pan you used on Eric? Was that Rapunzel's super frying pan? Where did you get it? I want one too!

Sookie: How did you know?

I need one too.

Beatrix: Bye again! I have to go to my party! See you all next chapter!

Katherine: We're done.

With what?

Katherine: Just go in the room and stop asking questions!

Sure? You're not going to murder me and blame it on my mom because I think Tilisha would…

Katherine: JUST GO!

Fine, fine. *Walks to the other room*

Sam: ONE, TWO, THREE!

Everyone: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHI & BEATRIX!

Aw.

Katherine: Ha feel disgusting. Is this how being nice feels now?

Alice: Only to you.

Tyler: So how does it feel to be a year older.

Just a closer step to 30! Yay!

Damon: Well you can't say that we never did anything for you.

Thanks guys. *Smiles*…Sam why are you still wearing the katy perry dress?

Sam: *Eats a banana* I feel like a woman.

Black * Star: GUESS WHO'S BACK!

Damon: Go away you blue monkey.

Aidan: Hey Chi!

Caroline: Who's that?

He's Aidan from Being human! I like him.

Damon: *Twitch* How bad do you want to die?

*nerouvs laugh* Where's the cake?

Damon: hope you don't chock on it.

….

Dean: Let's sing happy birthday.

Len: Let me handle that.

*Fan girl scream* I WANT TO RAPE YOU LEN!

Len: *Twitch* Stay away from me. Damn you, why don't you mess with my sister?

I LOVE RIN TOO!

Len: *Twitch*

He's so cute when he's mad.

Lady gaga: He will not out shine me. *wearing a jewel covered jacket*

Pam: IT'S BRIGHT!

Len: Happy…*Gets pushed over by Lady Gaga*

Lady Gaga: Can't finish, can't finish, can't finish reading twilight.

Back up singer: Because it puts me to sleep.

Lady Gaga: Can't finish, can't finish, can't finish Vampire diaries.

Back up singer: Because it puts me to sleep.

Lady Gaga: Put, put, put, put, put, put, put, put some picture in…

Back up singer: Up in that bitch. Muh, muh, muh, muh.

Lady Gaga: If I read keep on reading… *Len pushes lady Gaga*

Len: Now what!

SHOTA!

Len: …SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO MY SONG!

I LOVE YOU!

Aidan: She totally forgot that I'm here.

Damon: Let's keep it that way.

Aidan: What?

Damon: You heard me.

Leah: Her song didn't rhyme.

Caroline: Weird.

Please take your clothes off!

Lady Gaga: OKAY!

NOT YOU!

Len: YOU DAMN PEDOPHILE!

Only when it comes to Japanese boys!

Bonnie: …Just stay out of Japan okay?

*Sighs* I didn't mean it like that.

Katherine: Right? *Rolls eyes*

Sam: Well today is over and we all had fun.

Tara: Yeah, even though our story was fun please keep Japan in your prays.

Hope peace will come to that country and I will donate what little money I have because I love Japan and all the people in it. So I would like to thank Rogue Assasin, Crowley's Bitch 13, JHandAC, BeatrixMayfeir, TempranceCrepley1812, HeartsBreakInLove, Breakfastclub85, Vie, and Aligal528 for reviews. And thanks to everyone for reading this! Peace!

Stefan: Love.

Caroline: And hope for Japan!

Bye guys!

Len: *Takes off shirt*

*Dies*

Damon: I'M NOT BELOW KICKING A 14 YEAR OLD'S ASS!

Len: Bring it!

I can die happy now.

Alice: Don't die now. We still have gifts to give you!

Aidan: Is it always like this?

Eric: Yep.

Katherine: Who doesn't like the craziness.

Leah: Me.

Seth: Oh. Now I get lines, well fuck all of you.

…

Dean: Peace. I'm going to Vegas!

And Happy Birthday to the one's I've missed.

Len: *Sticks tongue out*

Damon: *Twitch*


	80. Damon & Stefan's suite life on deck

Show's They Can't Do Together!

Suite life on Deck!

London: Who is that tall dark and handsome?

Bailey: They both seem really pale.

Zack: Maybe he's a zombie.

Cody: It's impossible for a zombie to walk the earth and besides…he's…not drippig with blood.

Zack: Maybe he's a secret zombie that the government came up with.

Cody: The government wouldn't create a zombie.

Zack: …Yeah…right.

Damon: Stefan.

Stefan: What?

Damon: Watch this.

Stefan: *Sighs* Oh no.

Damon: BRAINS!

Cody: *Screams and hides behind Zack* Take him! He has yummy brains!

Zack: Well see if I'll save you anymore!

London: He's a zubma instructor?

Bailey: …If you eat her brain you wouldn't get anything.

London: HEY!

Woody: BACK AWAY YOU FOUL BEAST! *Points a turkey leg at Damon*

Everyone: …

Damon: …Really?

Woody: Everyone knows that vampires are scared of turkey legs.

Stefan & Zack: That's a new one.

Damon: *Bents down and takes a bite of the turkey leg* A little dry but…

Woody: *Screams and runs away*.

Everyone: …

Moseby: ZACK MARTIN!

Zack: Time to go! *Starts to run*

Moseby: STOP THAT LITTLE MONSTER! *Chases Zack*

Cody: …What did he do this time?

Zack: *Runs by* STINK BOMB!

Moseby: GRAB HIM!

London: *Grabs Cody* Here he is!

Cody: …*Gets out of London grip* I'm leaving, I got to study about…stuff. *Eyes Damon*

Damon: Boo!

Cody: *Screams and runs*

Bailey: Shame on you! Cody he was just playing! *Runs after Cody*

Stefan: It's time to go.

London: WAIT!

Damon & Stefan: What?

London: *Places her hand on Stefan's chest* I know what you are.

Stefan: Um…what?

London: I will say it…I will say it out loud.

Stefan: …Go ahead..I guess.

London: Your…. poor but I don't care.

Damon: *Laughs*

Stefan: *Sighs* Great.

London: YAY ME I GO EDWARD CULLENER!

Stefan: I hate my life.

Damon: *Pats Stefan on the back* Don't worry Stefan. I hate your life too.

* * *

We've missed a lot of days.

Damon: Yeah, we know.

I didn't…

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head* No excuses.

Stefan: Give the kid a break. She's in school.

Damon: She has only three days of school.

And a hell of homework!

Len: Why am I even here? I'm not supernatural and this chick is a pedophile.

Only with Japanese boys!

Len: …Where are the police when you need them?

Well let's start the show!

Crowley's bitch 13: So to answer to questions from last chapter... *FLASHBACK*

Do you think oxy-clean will get that stain out of my floor? It's so bloody!

Crowley's bitch: You should use Edwards face but to warn you, you may have sprinkles on the floor.

Edward: *Twitch*

Katherine: *Shrugs*Who should I put in my harem?

I don't know but stay away from Len!

Kaname: WHY?

Katherine: Oh shut up Kaname! No one cares.

Crowley's bitch: When's your birthday?

Alice: … I don't remember.

Katherine: YOUR WHAT?

Crowley's bitch: Mines is January 18th 1997, Damon you'll thank me later!

Damon: Wait, what?

Crowley's bitch: *ties up Damon in vervain ropes to the bed in the backroom* Eric are you happy with my present? Oh and I brought the rope and I cant change my fanfiction name cause i know someone named Eric who I use to have a crush on and my friends who use this site know that...

Eric: I love the gift. *Smirks*

Crowley's Bitch: I'm so bored!

Katherine: Go kick a puppy.

Crowley: ...I don't know what to say.

Crowley's Bitch: Your telling me.

Katherine: Where's my baby.

Probably in hiding.

Katherine: You wanna die?

Crowley's Bitch: TTFN!

Bye!

Katherine: That's what I thought.

Heartbreak: Hello lovelies!

Hey love!

Heartsbreak: Hello chi! Happy belated birthday! I brought you chocolate cake!

YAY! Thanks love *takes it and happily goes to the corner to eat cake*

Heartsbreak: You're welcome! Now that I've given you your gift... *Runs over to Damon* Where's my daughter? What did you do to her? Did you let her near Katherine? What did I warn you about

Katherine: Bitch.

Heartsbreak: Oh shut up. Tell me she's okay Damon!

Damon: She's fine. She's in the nursery.

Heartsbreak: DON'T LIE TO ME! *runs over to Stefan* is sex boy lying?

Stefan: No for once he's not.

Heartsbreak: That's a first.

Damon: Oh thanks...

Heartsbreak: I'm sorry Damon

Damon: It's alright love.

Heartsbreak: hey, speaking of Damon can i get one of those Damon/Eric sex tapes? I'll show Kalista what her father was really like.

Damon: *twitch* I'm. Not. GAY.

Heartsbreak: I beg to differ.

Pam: I'll get you the tape love.

Heartsbreak: Thank you Pam. get back to me with a price!

Pam: You're welcome

Alice: Love! It's great to see you! I can see you've sobered up!

Heartsbreak: Yes, it took about a dozen cups of coffee but, I'm not drunk anymore.

Alice: I can tell. You seemed to have a lot of things and people on your mind.

Heartsbreak: Yeah I did, but I'm done with said person now.

Alice: That's good love!

Heartsbreak: I have more restraint than that!

Alice: i never said you didn't have restraint.

Heartsbreak: you thought I was going to crawl back to him

Alice: a little. I'm sorry love.

Heartsbreak: it's alright Alice just know that I will never crawl back to that lame excuse of a man.

Damon: talking about me?

Heartsbreak: 1) you wish. 2) I'm talking about my ex-boyfriend. We just had sex.

Damon: oh. And your ex-boyfriends name was?

Heartsbreak: I shall not dare to even utter his name. *whispers under her breath* stupid ass, lying bastard who cheated on me with like a million girls then dumped my ass in a text.

Damon: Fine.

Tara: love, I'm sorry he hurt you.

Heartsbreak: it's not your fault he was a bastard.

Tara: no. Its not.

Elena: love?

Heartsbreak: yes Elena?

Elena: are you going to be alright?

Heartsbreak: yes. I'm going to be just fine.

Bonnie: *whispers* you still love him don't you?

Heartsbreak: yeah. A little. *looks over at Damon* they say you can't forget your first love.

Bonnie: then tell him love. I can tell he loves you too. I see it in the way he looks at you.

Heartsbreak: he looks at every girl like that.

Bonnie: just tell him.

Heartsbreak: why? So he can hurt me again? So he can impregnate me again?

Bonnie: no. Because he has the right to know love.

Heartsbreak: he is married to Pam and seems happy. I won't take that from him

Bonnie: your choice.

Heartsbreak: thanks for the advice though.

Damon: getting gossipy girls?

Heartsbreak: none of your freaking buisness!

Stefan: hi love!

Heartsbreak: hey stefan! How are you and Tara going?

Stefan: well, actually.

Heartsbreak: that's good to hear.

Stefan: I cannot believe you actually trusted Damon. With a baby!

Heartsbreak: I can't either!

Stefan: he did pretty well though. Bonnie had to teach him how to change a diaper and Elena had to teach him how to feed her. Although she was trying to get into his pants every five seconds.

Heartsbreak: typical Elena for you.

Elena: HEY!

Stefan: tell me about it.

Heartbreak: she's been an amazing friend though.

Stefan: thats one of her good qualities.

Heartsbreak: yeah.

Stefan: so... What happens at that bar?

Heartsbreak: I got really, really, really drunk. I couldn't walk straight. Woke up this morning with the worlds largest hangover... And a puppy.

Stefan: ooh! Can I have the puppy?

Heartsbreak: only if you promise not to eat it.

Stefan: damn.

Heartsbreak: hey! Fagward! Get your sparkly ass over here!

Edward: I'm here.

Heartsbreak: good. *pushes into snake pit*

Edward: *screams*

Heartsbreak: why does that always cheer me up?

Caroline: hey love! Maybe Friday night we could go to a club! Cute guys!

Heartsbreak: I'm in!

Alice: watching love get drunk was fun! Im there!

Bonnie: hell yes!

Elena: alright

Tara: can't we go sooner?

Heartsbreak: I wish Tara, I wish.

I'm there!

Heartsbreak: all the other girls on the show can come too. Don't worry Damon I've arranged some fun for you too.

Damon: with who?

Heartsbreak: Eric!

Damon: no thanks!

Eric: *smiles*

heartbreaks: how creepy was that!

Stefan: you said I could take care of Kally.

Heartsbreak: I know i did. I plan on keeping that promise. Keep her AWAY from Katherine.

Stefan: I'll try.

Heartsbreak: okay! Thanks stefan! If I come back with another hangover i just might die.

Elena: it did look bad.

Heartsbreak: I best be going now! See y'all on Friday! Bye!

Bye! *Face covered in chocolate*…Wait how did you get out of the room Damon?

Damon: I kicked ass and ran like hell.

…Whatever works for you dude.

Sarahserenity6296: Oh my freaking god. This is priceless! I loooooove it!

Thank you!

Damon: Wipe your face.

Let me be happy!

Damon: Whatever.

Aligal528: Hey, guys! Sorry I missed your party, Chi, but I'll make it up to you next year. How does Vegas sound?

YAY!

Aligal528: Beatrix, thank you for welcoming me to "Chi's Den of Iniquity", which I honestly think is the perfect name for this show. And yes, Gibbs and Tony are very, very hot...*daydreaming*! When you are done, I'd like to spend some personal time with the silver fox. Maybe he'll show me his boat...and I don't mean that in a perverted way.

Jacob: Riiiiight.

Katherine: Go back in the wolves corner.

Seth: YOU'LL NEVER HOUSE BREAK ME!

Just don't pee on my floor!

Aligal528: And Beatrix, OMG! You'd rival Bill Gates and Donald Trump if you did a calendar with both Stefan and Damon! I'm not a slash fan, Damon, so don't get all mad, but having two hotties like you guys in one calendar? C'mon, that'd be a fangirl's dream! Right, Chi?

*Nods and drools*

Aligal528: Stefan, I wish you a speedy recovery from being violated like you were. And if you have to take some time off to check yourself into a mental ward, I'd completely understand. You poor thing. Do you need a hug?

Stefan: I'm some what good. As long as I have Tara with me I'll be okay.

Alice & Me & Caroline: Awww.

Katherine: Oh that's a sappy thing to say.

Aligal528: Wow Damon, you've really grown up! Asking to see one (of your many) daughters? That was really unexpected. And admitting you like Charity?

Damon: Hey! When did I say I like that air head. * Looks a me*

Chocolate is good. *Licks side of face*

Damon: *Slaps his forehead*

Aligal528: Did...someone put a spell on you or something? Or was it just your experience with Eric that changed you? And I was talking about Chi. Here's a rape whistle. Very high decibels. I hope it doesn't bother the wolves ears though.

Yay!

Aligal528: Chi, just start getting rid of the characters you never use. This will just be like an official send-off so we won't have to wonder about why they haven't been on.

Len: Well I'm taking my leave.

B-but Len I love you!

Len: BYE!

Len…*cries*

Damon: Look Chi…

Len: *Kisses me on the cheek and walks away*

…*Fangirl scream*

Damon: *Laughs and twitches*

Alice: Someone's not happy.

Stefan: Great. He's lost it.

Bonnie: When did he ever have it.

Edward: So True.

Aligal528: Why is it that children's icons are just annoying and creepy. Like Kool-aid, and of course Barney. *shudders*

Barney: I'm watching you when your asleep.

Aligal528: …*Shivers* Go away before I feed you to one of those invisible dogs.

We have invisible dogs?

Damon: I don't know your looking at me for. I'm not a little Japanese boy.

Elena: Aw Damon needs to be cheered up.

Damon: …What's with the condoms?

Elena: *Smiles*

Aligal528: Sam, all I can say is that I will pray for your soul. You know, the one that you just got back? Stop with the sinning, and dress-wearing!

Sam: …I just and I already did something wrong?

Dean: I guess so.

Aligal528: Too bad we couldn't get a duet between Lady Gaga and Damon. I loved Damon's version of 'Bad Romance'.

Stefan: *Smirks* Yeah Damon.

Damon: Try it and I will kill you.

Aligal528: Suggestion for future show: Kitchen Nightmares. I'd love to see Damon and Gordon Ramsay get into it!

Who has the biggest temper Damon or Ramsay.

Tyler: Money's on Leah.

Leah: I'm plotting you deaths.

...

Aligal528: Bye guys! Happy 80th chapter, Chi! Love, Ali

Thanks! I can't wait when we hit chapter 100. It'll be fun.

Rogue Assasin: Hi y'all *Rogue comes riding in on a flying unicorn with a rainbow trailing behind them*

Castiel: You found him! YOu found my trusty stead now I'll defeat Raphael MUahahahahaha.

Damon: Is he talking about the ninja turtle Raphael?

Stefan: *Shrugs while Tara rubs ointment on his ass*

Rogue: Its so Sad about Japan I hope they make it throught this disaster. The psychics predict China will start to get affected by the aftershock and another tsunami will hit in the west. I hope we all make it past 2012 and the zombies. FYI Cas when the zombies come I'm counting on you to save me angel boy!

Castel: As long as your not going to kill me, you'll be the first on my list to save.

Rogue: Well I am having a shitty life - I hate my company they are so fucking retarded its not funny I need to vent *Rogue shuts eyes tight and lady gaga blows up and it rains purple*

Damon: You could have done that earlier!

Rogue: Want me to repeat on you?

Damon:...

Rogue: Good. *Turns to me* Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Charity, happy birthday to you *Rogue hugs Chi and makes out with her and hands her a gift bag*

Thank you *Opens gift bag and jumps up and down* Yay its a free pass to charlie's chocolate factory and a trip to the spa.

Rogue: You're welcome. So Damon how was vegas? I heard Elena followed you there.

Pam: Yeah the bitch did - she tried to make my vampire sign divorce papers when he was drunk.

Elena: Pam hit me... really hard... how can you allow such violence to the mother of your child!

Bonnie: It's not Damon's kid bitch - it's bobs - Damon Jnr looks nothing like Damon - see my kids are the spitting image of their dad.

Elena: Bitch - you tipped Pam off that I followed Damon to Vegas!

Bonnie: And I got her handing your ass to you on tape! Who wants to watch Pam open a can o whip ass on Elena?

Stefan, Damon, Caroline: Me Me!

Bonnie: That'll be $25 for a show and $50 for the DVD.

Damon: You drive a mean bargain... want to join our harem? *Pam hands Bonnie a harem registration form*

0_o

Rogue: Lady GaGa is the bride of Satan - do you knoe what her song Alejandro really means? Google it. I don't listen to her and I don't like her - if we are on the brink of armegeddon then that woman is the whore of babylon.

I think she's a whore of many things.

Rogue: Sparkles - clean up this purple mess then go do something with yourself. Sam, Sam2 and Billy boy it's dance time *Gloria Estefan Conga starts playing* They're bringing up the drinking age in SA from 18 to 21 - that sucks well stleast I'm over 21 BWAHAHAHAHAHA.

I want to drink too!

Rogue: You just got one more year to go kid.

*Sighs*

Rogue: Alice - you screamed rape... I thought you liked being tied up.

Alice: …But not so tight. *Blushes*

Rogue: Here Damon, Eric, Pam - have a blood cocktail. So where you guys planning to go for easter?

Damon: We didn't go nowhere. We were seeing how long it would take for Stefan to resist the bunny.

It didn't go so well.

Tara: Poor Cottontail.

Rogue: Beatrix! *Rogue makes out with Beatrix* it was so much fun with the white chocolate body paint in Daddy's office - the video we made smoulders! I have a gift for you! Edible undies - we can use it in the dungeon later.

I wanna watch!

Rogue: Stefan you made me rip when you said your ass has scars! that was SOOOOOOOO funny!

Stefan It wasn't funny. It's true.

Eric: I didn't mean to be rough.

Rogue: Anyway Stef and Damon I don;t think you have to worry about Eric anymore - he's had youi both... he's moved on to knew prey...

WHO!

Rogue: Look at the photograph he's holding.

Pam: *Grabs photo* OMG Tyler?

Eric: His dark cherry will be mine!

Lestat: I will have it first! You stole Stefan's from me! Stefan I still love you! *Black hole appears below Lestat and he falls into a bottomless hole*

Alice: Was that you Rogue?

Rogue: *Opens eyes* Yep

Alice: Could you do the same to Katherine?

Katherine: *Balancing baby Casterine on her hip and holding a knife in the other hand* I'll gut you!

Castiel: No violence in front of the baby! Smite her!

Casterine: *Sticks tongue out*

Katherine: That's my girl! *Falls down after getting smited and runs to Castiel*

Castiel: I beg to differ

Rogue: Hey I have and idea! *Rogue snaps fingers and a ring appears in the centre of the room* **Ladies and gentlemen presenting a one time only charity match Katherine faces Lady Gaga ! FIGHT! *Mortal Kombat music begins to play*  
**  
Katherine: Here come the pain!

Lady gaga: *Flashes purple wang*

Katherine: Throws up on lady Gaga's meat dress while delivering a flying punch

Alice: By the way - which Charity is this match supporting?

Beatrix: The buy Rogue more sex toys fund

Lady Gaga: How dare you! *Lady Gaga tries to body slam Kat*

Katherine: Children close your eyes *Katherine rips off Gaga's head and stops it with her prada heels*

Rogue: Game over - Katherine wins!

Katherine: Now bring me little boys!

Everyone:...

Rogue: Caroline you do know your dad - he's gay and he lives with his lover in Florida... sorry about that...

Matt! Just die! You're BORING! *Rogue blasts Matt with a bazooka* He has no place in the story or plot - that needed to happen - he's kinda like the Mike Newton of VD.

Well he's doing something now.

Tyler: Yeah, like shooting me!

Out of love?

Tyler: …You have a sick sense of love.

Rogue: About Katherine not having a bun in the oven anymore... *Everyone looks to the big screen*

*Moans are heard* Katherine: Oh Yes Castiel!

Castiel: This is so much easier without the baby bump you like that my bad girl?

Katherine: Oh Cas...

Damon, Stefan, Eric: *THrow up*

Pam, Alice, Elena: O.o

Here we go again...

Dean: *Smacks the back of castiel's head* Couldn't keep the glove on! Now look what you've started.

Katherine: *Starts crying* NO one loves me!

Sookie: *Pats Katherine's back* I'm sure someone loves you...

Katherine: Then give me CHOCOLATE!

Rogue: Damon don't be dumb - do what Katherine did - she drank a little vervain everyday so that she could become immune to it - you should do the same then maybe you would have stood a chance against Eric.

Damon: Fine.

Rogue: Well if we are playing survivor on this show I am voting Mason off no one messes with Jacob! *Rogue punches Mason in the face and makes him swallow teeth then rips off his balls and shoves them up his nostrils.

Jacob: *Tilts head* So that's what it looks like.

Rogue: Oh well that's all the time I have - bye people*Rogue disappears in a flash of fire*

Caroline: I love her.

Pam: Same here.

BeatrixMayfeir: HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHI *flies in yours arm*! It's amazing, our birthdays are so close to each other! God, we need to go wasting ourselves together, you and me only! Here's your fake ID, courtesy of Dean. We are going to Vegas and play in every Casino we find! Than we are going to rob the Bellagio because I love Ocean's Eleven and I know we can do better! And after that we are going to "The Heaven vs Hell"!

Damon: *cracking knuckles* Where?

Beatrix: Daddy Gabriel's strip club of course! With male and female stripers dressed as demons and angels! And thanks to Daddy's power the stripers will be our favorite people, even if they are underage(Len would be a cute angel)!

*Drool*

Damon: Don't even think about that!

Beatrix: *looks at Damon and Castiel with lust filled eyes* God I can't wait to see you two with those leather pants shaking those fine ass for me!

Damon: *smocking with rage* I will kill you before!

Beatrix: Oh Damon, I know you are still mad for that cookie (even if you know you had fun) but are you sure you want to make ME mad?

Damon: *snorts* There's nothing worse of THAT!

Beatrix: You sure? Because I know a guy, with a smile to die for, who will make Eric little obsession with you look like a piece of pie!

Eric: *laughs* yeah sure!

Beatrix: I'm serious! And you won't be able to resist him because he's a man from the 51th century, so he has these pheromones that would make even the straightest guy on earth gay for him! But don't worry at least with him you wouldn't have to always bottom, he is a switch!

Eric: *ready to kill* Who and where is this guy?

Beatrix: Sorry love, he can't die! And he's *sparkling eyes* Captain Jack Harkness, the man with the most beautiful smile ever!

Jack: Oh a fellow captain! He has a nice ship?

Beatrix: A space ship!

Jack: Oh! *frowns* I want one too!

Beatrix: So Damon, what do you think? You want to meet him?

Damon: *shakes head furiously* NO!

Beatrix: No what?

Damon: *greeting teeth* No mistress!

Beatrix: Good boy*pets and kisses him*!

Damon: *looks at Pam* Help.

Pam: Oh honey, you know I want her to call that guy, right?

Damon: *sighs* Women are evil!

Pam&Me: *hugging* Yes we are! *make out*

Beatrix: Oh about that thing with vampires and periods, Lestat in one of the book said that that blood is not desirable like normal blood because it lacks some properties, but he ended up liking it out of some chick all the same! It wouldn't be bad, you would have a period of only one day! I hate my period!

Damon: Still don't' want to try it.

Beatrix: Kat I have a new pet for you to thank you for being nice for me and Chi birthdays *snaps finger and Justin Bieber appears*

JB: *sniffing* Where am I? Why am I half naked and chained? *starts crying* I want my mommy!

Katherine: Oh come to me, sweetheart. I will be your sexy mom!

Beatrix: Yoh Caroline, of course you know your dad! Didn't you say you would ask him and not your mom for advice with guy, since is gay and happy with his man? Oh and I like Tyler better then Matt! That guy is an idiot!

Tyler: Finally people know of my greatness.

Beatrix: Oh Rogue *jumps on Rogue wearing a red baby doll* Kitchen door, body paint, me and you, now? Please?

*days later*

God, I love chocolate body paint *smiles at Rogue* Thanks, sex with you is always the best and the most creative! Ok, now that both Salvatore had lost their black cherry lets thank the god of slash!

Caroline: And who is that?

Beatrix: Akira Toriyama!

What? Why?

Beatrix: Because the first slash fic I've ever read was a Goku/Vegeta and it changed my view of the word!

Yay!

Damon & Stefan: No Yay!

Beatrix: Ok, after this last piece of nonsense I'm going serious! My heart is with Japan too because I live near L'Aquila and I still freak out every time my chair or desk move without no apparent motive and it's horrible!

Poor thing.

Beatrix: OK bye everyone! Bye Damon *blows a kiss* and remember that all the things I've done were out of love! (sorry for eventual errors but I don't want to double check for mistakes I would probably miss all the same)

Damon: It wasn't love! It was for your amusment.

Beatrix: *Smirks and walks away*

TempranceCrepsley1812: *flies through air tackles Damon* hi Damon! i just super glued myself to you! hahaha! i will be with you forever! *hugz* i love you guyz

Damon: Get off me!

Temprance: NEVER!

O.o

Damon: -.-

Katherine: Ride him like a bull!

Everyone: …

JHanadAC: Pshh, I bet Damon couldn't even kick a 14-year-olds ass!

Damon: Hey! I can kick anyone's ass!

JHandAC: Suuuurrre.

Damon: *Twitch*

JHandAC: Oh, and Beatrix? I'm shoving the No-Hug-For-Cas into a box that includes all the other Fangirl disappointments that NEVER happened... Including the epilogue to Harry Potter, the beginning of Season 6 in Supernatural, The ending to Fruits Basket (especially so because it didn't involve Momiji!)

We all love Momiji.

Tyler & Damon: Who the hell is he?

Bonnie: The boy that keeps me from being a lesbian.

Damon: That keep you from that?

Bonnie: *Laughs* No…it's crack.

Drugs are bad.

Bonnie: I was just kidding.

Elena: Can't tell.

Bonnie: Bite me.

Elena: That can be arrange. *Holds up a butchers knife*

Katherine: You know this show is fucked up when Elena is a bit more psychotic than me.

Alice: …Whatever that makes you sleep at night.

JHandAC: Aww, but off track... I've come to actually full on hate Eddy. A friend of mine said that vampires were supposed to sparkle and had this idea they like poetry and cutting in thier head... So now I blame Eddy ^.^ Oh, and good job with that little confession Damon, I'll be expecting more in the future.

Damon: There is this thing about a confession! I don't like chocolate covered, pedochi…that much.

Aw. I'm growing on you.

Damon: Shut up.

JHandAC: Hi & Bye everybody! AND, hey Chi? Ever read a book called Maximum Ride? I gotta say, even though I may be into more perveted things.. with, y'know, sex scenes, this book is mad awesome!~

I love that series, I even have the manga! Can't wait for the movie and the only book I'm missing is the Angel book. Damnit. I want to read it so bad.

Kintokellar: HEY! omfg YOUR STORI IS SO HI-LARIOUS. KEEP ON WRITING

Thanks. *Smiles*

MinaFTW: Hey so I haven't reviewed in forever, just came here to say hi to Charity, Damie *winks at Damon* Steffie *smiles at Stefan* Dean *waves at him* and Tyler *gives him a nod*

Tyler: Why do I just get a nod?

Edward: Just be happy you got something.

Tyler: *Looks at Edward* There's a part of me that wants to eat you but the same part thinks I'll turn sprinkley too.

Edward: Go away!

Mina:…Okay?...And of course my girl crush *platonic* Bonnie! *waves at her*

Bonnie: Hi!

Mina: Okay bye! and more then one thousand reviews, woah!

Damon: We are all just as surprised.

Breakfastclub85: Hi guys! I'm back from my crazy Vegas trip with Dean!

Dean: It was awesome.

Breakfastclub: *Snaps finger* Puppy Waking Up In Vegas by Katy Perry! While dressed like a hooker! While giving me a piggy back ride!

Sam: *Sighs* I hate you.

Breakfastclub: Hurry up.

Sam: *Takes off clothes to reveal hooker outfit*

Damon & Dean: Really?

Sam: I knew she would do something.

You have him well trained.

Breakfastclub: Yep. *Jumps on Sam's back*

Sam: *Sighs and sings * Shut up and put your money where your mouth is

That's what you get for Waking up and Vegas…I WILL MAKE YOU RUE THE DAY! RUE IT I SAY!

Katherine: Oh shut up and go sit a corner.

Breakfastclub: Cas, you are so adorable. *hugs*

Castiel: Thanks.

Breakfastclub: Katherine you are one awesome bitch.

Katherine: I'm the biggest bitch that you seen thus far!

Alice: Yep.

Tara: Totally.

Elena: If I could I would kill you in your sleep.

…Why is this a hit again?

Breakfastclub: Caroline you are a really good singer!

Caroline: Thanks, it took a lot to go up there only for my boyfriend to almost die and then break up with me again…*Sighs*

Breakfastclub: Dean, Ummm, I don't remember much from our trip but why is there a ring on my finger? * holds up left hand and points to ring finger *

Dean: Yeah, same here but I vaguely remember and Elvis impersonator.

Pain: Ah, just read through this and I have to say, one of the funniest fics I have ever read. Good job, Chi!

I'm going to die from all the comments! *Smiles*

Katherine: I can help you with that.

*Smiles* Stay away from me!

Pain: Okay, before I start, any comments on my username = Pain.

Major pain?

Pain: Just Pain.

Okay!

Pain: Okay, first off, Adian! I love you! :D Waiting for season 2 is going to be crazy.

Adian: Thanks, I can't wait to do season 2 too. And hopefully Damon wil sending me death theaths.

Everyone: *Looks at Damon*

Damon: This bastard is another Edward look alike!

I don't really…

Damon: Shut up.

Pain: Damon...I don't really know what to say. You are awesome, but... Wow.

Damon: Yay so much drama in my life.

Stefan: You cause most of them.

Damon: Who cares about what you say bunny humper.

Stefan: I don't hump bunnies!

Damon: Riiiiight.

Pain: Stefan, bunny for you, sir.

Stefan: Thanks.

Damon: He might screw it.

Stefan: Shut up Damon I'm tired of you.

Damon: Bring it Stefan!

Stefan: *Tackles Damon*

Please don't squish the bunny!

Pain: I'm pretty tired, sorry for shortness. See you next update. :)

Bye!

Stefan: You bastard!

Damon: I'll push you off a cliff the first chance I get.

So lovely.

Homicide The Bloody: hi i used to be strawberrikiwiez!

I like the new name

Homicide: Bonnie can we share Damon?

Bonnie: Keep him, but make sure he's clean first.

Homicide: tweez ur eyebrows Stefan.

Damon: Haha furry caterpillars!

Stefan: *Kicks Damon in the leg*

Homicide: Castiel stop being a whore b4 i jack slap u!

Castiel: But I'm easily lovable! *Puppy eyes*

Leah: Doesn't work on me.

Castiel: …

Homicide: Sam&Dean&Castiel&Damon:I now own u! Kathy stay away u scanktankerous monkey slut!

Sam: I'm not a slut.

Alice: Aren't you into S&M?

Sam: …I'm not a slut.

Damon: I'm proud to say I'll a slut. I'm the biggest slut to walk on this earth.

Castiel: I really doubt that but okay.

Dean: *Shakes head*

Homicide: Chi bring in Gabriel

Damon: No! No more people!

Your not that boss of me.

Damon: *Sighs* You made me have to use it.

*Blinks* What?

Damon: *Pulls cat ears out of his back pocket and puts them on* Meow.

*Faints and nosebleeding*

Jacob: Girls a pervert.

Homicide: Edward, ANATA GA SUKI JANAI AMA! *mean i dnt lyk u b*

Edward: Aren't you just special.

Homicide: Bonnie ur not a marysue so u r awezomez!again i can share!

Bonnie: Keep him.

Elena: You can't! NEVER!

Homicide: Zero you stop drownin in haterade! ur a vamp 2!

Zero: *Places hands over ears* LaLaLaLaLa.

Homicide: There's no hope for that kid. Chi bring Alucard and Seres from hellsing in along wit Jan valentine! watch 1st few episodes of hellsinng ultimate in

Okay! It sounds good,

Homicide: Damon Sam Dean Castiel sing and do a striptease to Addicted by saving abel and u must do it or Eric will own if u dnt and ill make sure and for your entertainment .

Sam: Another song?

Damon: Your still in your hooker gear.

Sam: …I feel good in it. Okay.

*Music starts*

Why am I sitting in the chair?

Damon: You're my bitch. Be happy. *Unbuttons shirt and sings*I'm so addicted to  
All the things you do  
When you're going down on me  
In between the sheets  
Or the sound you make  
With every breath you take  
It's unlike anything  
When you're loving me

Dean & Sam & Castiel & Damon: *Starts taking off clothes* Oh girl lets take it slow

So as for you,  
Well you know where to go  
I want to take my love  
And hate you til the end

It's not like you to turn away  
From all the bullshit I can't take  
It's not like me to walk away

I'm so addicted to  
All the things you do  
When you're going down on me  
In between the sheets  
Or the sound you make  
With every breath you take  
It's unlike anything  
When you're loving me

Yeah

I know when it's getting rough  
All the times we spend  
Trying to make this love  
Something better than  
Just making love again  
[ Lyrics from: .com/lyrics/s/saving_ ]  
It's not like you to turn away  
All the bullshit I can't take  
Just when I think I can walk away

I'm so addicted to  
All the things you do  
When you're going down on me  
In between the sheets  
Or the sound you make  
With every breath you take  
It's unlike anything

I'm so addicted to  
The things you do  
When you're going down on me  
Or the sound you make  
With every breath you take  
It's unlike anything  
When you're loving me

When you're loving me

How can I make it through  
All the things you do  
There's just got to be more to you and me

I'm so addicted to  
All the things you do  
When you're going down on me  
In between the sheets  
Or the sound you make  
With every breath you take  
It's unlike anything  
It's unlike anything

I'm so addicted to  
All the things you do  
When you roll around with me

Or the sound you make  
With every breath you take  
It's unlike anything  
I'm so addicted to you  
Addicted to you

Bonnie & Elena: Nice.

Tyler: The wolves corner say that that shit burnt our eyes and our ears.

*Faints*

Caroline: Lucky girl.

Katherine: Ew she drooling. Let's draw on her face.

Homicide: Bob bye *spirit bomb broli style* he AINT cumin bak b cuz Broli blows a planet up in milisecondsXD thx u!

Everyone: O.o!

Alice: Well our show is over and it was fun. Thanks for reading!

Dean: We want to thank Crowley's bitch 13, HeartsBreakInLove, sarahserenity6296, aligal528, Rogue Assasin, BeatrixMayfeir, TempranceCrepley1812, JHandAC, kintokellar, MinaFTW, Breakfastclub85, 0oImmortalEyelinero0 and Homicide The Bloody for reviews! And thanks for reading.

*Rubs head* What the hell happened?

Caroline: Let's go play twister!

Yay!

Damon: NO!

Pam: Don't mind him. Let's have fun.

Peace!

Tara: Love!

Bob: And Motherfucking tuna bitch!

Crap he's back!

Edward: *Shakes head*

Katherine: *Laughs* Chi had a penis on her forehead.

Huh?

Katherine: *Evil smirk* Well at least not yet. *Holds a marker*

*Rubs away*

Caroline: Bye guys!

No! I don't want a penis on my head!

Katherine: I'm going to add tits too.

Kaname: Please save me.

Aiden: This show is fucking weird.

Alice & Tara: Yep.

I DON'T WANNA DIE!

Bob: MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH...*coughs*...*Coughs*...*Coughs* DIE!


	81. Booms and Goodbyes!

Shows they can't do together!

Full Metal Panic!

Kaname: THIS IS THE SEVENTY TIME YOU BLEW UP THE SCHOOL THIS WEEK!

Sousuke: I thought I heard you scream.

Kaname: *Hits him in the head* Because of a bug! Not make believe terrorist!

Sousuke: But I was careful when using the bomb.

Kaname: *Grabs a big fan and slaps him in the face* Normal people would have checked to see if I was okay NOT blow up a whole school ...may I help you? *Looks over and sighs*

Damon: Nope...not at all.

Sousuke: *Laying on the floor* Please step away from Miss. Chidori or you'll be harmed.

Damon: By who and what army?

Stefan: *Sighs* After all this time you haven't learned at all?

Kaname: I think this guy has a death wish.

Damon: *Folds arms and takes a step towards Kaname* And what's stopping me from sweeping this beautiful lady from her feet?

Kaname: Eww.

Sousuke: *Pushes himself up* A bullet to the head.

Damon: I'm just going to dodge it anyways bastard.

Kaname: *Eyes Sousuke* Don't you dare.

Stefan: You haven't learned a thing in past shows huh?

Damon: What's this guy gonna do? He's scuny and not worth...*Gets shot in the head and flys backwards*

Stefan: ...Dumbass.

Sousuke: *Lowers gun* Right between the eyes...*Points it at Stefan* Please step away from the...

Kaname: *Kicks Sousuke then stomps on his back* YOU BASTARD! YOU CAN'T SHOOT PEOPLE!

Stefan: *Looks over at Damon* To bad he's not dead.

Sousuke: I used rubber bullets.

Kaname: *Stomps him some more* AND THAT MAKES A DIFFERENTS!

Stefan: I think he's twitching.

Damon: Bite...Me...Bastard.

Stefan: *Turns head* Don't wanna catch an STD.

Damon: Ass. *Slowly stands up* That hurt...*touches forehead* a lot.

Sousuke: You do not look like a students of this school. Please leave the school grounds before I am forced to use real bullets.

Kaname: *Places hand over her face* He really will too.

Stefan: *Mumbles* Sorry excuse for a vampire.

Damon: Like you can talk fur face.

Stefan: Well on the bright side at least he didn't shoot you with some pencils.

Damon: ...What self respecting vampire die because of a pencil.

Sousuke: *Blinks* Is this a new code?

Kaname: I don't know but if you ask me I think there both off their rockers.

Damon: Let's end this. *Vampire face*

Sousuke: *Grabs Kaname and jumps out of the window*

Kaname: KYAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Stefan: Idiot.

Damon: Says the same person who thought a tin can was Iron Man.

Stefan: What...

Beep.

Stefan: What's that?

Beep.

Damon: Probably a cell phone.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Stefan: I don't think that's a cell phone.

Damon: Well what is it Sherlock bastard?

Stefan: I think it's...*Looks down at Damon's feet* SHIT! *Runs Away*

BeepBeepBeep!

Damon: *Looks down* A BOMB! *Runs behind Stefan*

Stefan: DON'T FOLLOW ME WITH THAT BOMB ON YOUR LEG!

Damon: Revege bitch!

Stefan: HUH?

Damon: YOU KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND!

Stefan: WE HAVE TO SETTLE THIS NOW?

Damon: YEP! * Tackles Stefan and hugs him tight*

Stefan: GET OFF OF ME!

Damon: WE'RE GOING TO HELL TOGETHER!

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! *Blows up half the school*

Kaname: SOUSUKE SAGARA!

Sousuke: *Runs away*

Principal: Oh my! Sagara blew up the school again...yay more money for me!

So you blew up the school? And no one got hurt?

Stefan: They are prepared and just don't care anymore.

Are you okay?

Stefan: *Twitch*

Tara: Ass. *Wipes the dirt off Stefan's clothes*

Damon: He killed my girlfriend!

Katherine: He killed my girlfriend, he stole my girlfriend, just get over it.

Damon: Why did I like you again?

Katherine: Could care less.

Why is Bob back?

Bob: I here for the food ...and your SOUL!

Damon: Oh sorry dude, she solded her soul for a grape.

I DID?

Damon: No, I did because you took forever to come back!

But I was only gone for few...

Damon: No excuses.

But I was moving a lot!

Damon: Still don't give a shit.

Awww.

Dean: So what's with the 'Goodbye' party? The show is ending?

Nope. But a few of you guys are.

Pam: About time. Being in here with that bitch and Queen Bill made me sick.

Tara: Well at least your face isn't rotting anymore.

Pam: When King Dickface turns his back I'll gut you like a fish.

Tara: Like to see you try. *Gets in a fighting stance*

GUYS!

Sam: Let's get the show started!

Yay!

Heartsbreak: Hello everyone!

Hey love! It's been awhile, what have you been up to?

Heartsbreak: Well I drove to NYC with part of the family. That was fun, what wasn't was sitting in the back of a car for 12 hours.

Caroline: Any cute guys there?

Heartsbreak: No I didn't see any at least. It sucks.

Bonnie: Well at least you had fun!

Heartsbreak: Yeah. Elena! Alice! How have you too been?

Elena: I've been good!

Alice: I'm great... As always.

Pam: Hello love. Welcome back!

Heartsbreak: Hello Pam. How are you and Damon?

Pam: As good as we've ever been.

Heartsbreak: That's good!

Stefan: Hey love! How are you?

Heartsbreak: Good! How are you?

Stefan: I'm great! Tara and me are doing well too!

Heartsbreak: That's good! Well now that I've said hello to everyone...

Damon: You didn't say hi to me love *hurt face*

Edward: He's lonely. He's mister lonely. He has...

Damon: Shut up! *Kicks Edward in the head*

Heartsbreak: I really don't care. Anyways as I was saying, I have gifts for everyone!

Edward: Me too!

Heartsbreak: Hell NO! unless you want a gift... Of DEATH!

Edward: *runs*

Heartsbreak: Smart choice.

So what do you have?

Heartsbreak: For you Chi I have cupcakes, chocolate of course!

YAY!

Heartsbreak: For Gir I have waffles

Gir: YAY! I GOT WAFFLES!

Heartsbreak: For Stefan, a bunny and no, you cannot eat it.

Stefan: Thanks but,* Stares at the bunny* damn.

Heartbreak: For Caroline, Bonnie, and Elena I have some alcohol and for Tara I got you a purse. I didn't know what you would want.

Caroline: Finally! Some alcohol

Elena: Yeah. I need some!

Bonnie: Haven't had my daily dose yet.

Tara: A purse! Oh thank you love! Now I have something to put Pam's head in!

Pam: THAT'S IT! *Shows fangs*

OH WHYYYYYY FOR THE LOVE OF SHOTA WHYYYYY!

Tyler: Watch out Seth. Pedo Chi's back.

Seth: What?

Heartsbreak: You're welcome!

Alice: Anything for me?

Heartsbreak: How could I forget you Alice? I got you a cookie!

Alice: Yes! Oh thank you love!

Heartsbreak: Anytime.

Damon: Anything for me in there?

Heartsbreak: No. What would I buy you, a condom?

Damon: *twitch* I said I was sorry!

Heartsbreak: It's going to take more than that Damon!

Lestat: Awkward.

Damon: Go away!

Bonnie: *whispers* Still not over it?

Heartsbreak: No. I wish I were but, no.

Bonnie: It'll be okay.

Heartsbreak: I know.

Damon: Oh pretending to care?

Bonnie: *Twitch* Unlike you I have a heart.

Damon: Hurtful. *Smirks*

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes*

Caroline: So whats new?

Heartsbreak: I got a twitter!

Elena: Really whats your username?

Heartsbreak: I am Nattie1864_TVD

Damon: That's a creative name.

Heartsbreak: My real name is Natasha. Nattie is my nickname, not too creative.

Damon: Oh. Well Chi's name is the stupidest thing I ever heard.

YOU AND MY MOM GAVE ME THAT NAME!

Damon: See. Stupid.

Heartsbreak: Don't try to get on my good side. It won't work.

Damon: I tried. But just know that I really am sorry. I must have put you through a lot.

Heartsbreak: Yes, you did. And you're putting me through more right now.

Damon: How?

Heartsbreak: Drop it.

Bonnie: *whisper* 1ell that almost slipped out.

Heartsbreak: Yeah I know!

Elena: I still say you tell him.

Heartsbreak: I wish I could.

Bonnie: Then tell him.

Heartsbreak: And get on Pam's bad side again? Plus he's happy. I don't want to be the one to mess it up.

Caroline: But you're hurting love.

Katherine: I'm throwing up over here.

Alice: *Hits Katherine*

Heartsbreak: Not really. It's just hard sometimes.

Tara: It'll be okay

Alice: Feel better love.

Heartsbreak: Hopefully it gets easier.

Stefan: Hopefully what gets easier?

Heartsbreak: Raising a baby on my own.

Stefan: You'll get through it.

Heartsbreak: Speaking of babies, where's mine?

Stefan: She's sleeping, in the nursery.

Heartsbreak: Wow. You did a good job Stefan thank you.

Stefan: Anytime love. Just ask.

Heartbreak: I'll keep it in mind.

Bonnie: Well knowing love, we might need a permanent baby sitter.

Heartsbreak: Whatever Bonnie.

Bonnie: No offense

Heartsbreak: I just want to welcome pain to the show! Hi! If you're going to try and kill Edward, and need some help, I'm here.

Katherine: Too bad the idiot didn't post this a few months ago!

Edward: Oh gosh their ganging up!

Heartsbreak: Watch your back sparkles.

Edward: *Falls into shark tank*

Heartsbreak: Okay that one wasn't even mine!

Katherine: Thank you! Sparkles was getting on my last nerve

Heartsbreak: I may not like you but with killing edward we're on the same page.

Bonnie: I have a spell that can help.

Heartbreak: Ooh sounds fun! I'll call you. Anyways I must be going! Goodbye everyone see you next chappie!

Bye!

Alice: Bye love!

Stefan: Bye

Damon: Goodbye love.

Heartsbreak: Goodbye!

Dean: We get no love.

Jacob: How do you think the wolf corner feels?

Katherine: Like shit.

Elena: Why is Bella in the wolf corner?

Leah: We need an Edward type too.

Edward: Ha ha. Asshole.

Sam: *stretches* It feels good to be back.

Damon: It all depends on Author.

I said I was sorry!

Damon: Bitch.

But...

Damon: Do it again and I will kill you, skin you, and place you on a tree telling

Authors what happens when you abandon your stories.

*Puppy dog eyes* I'm sorry.

Damon: *Pulls out a stuff animal and hits me in the face* Brat.

OW!

Dean: ...

*A blast is heard and Rogue emerges from the flames pulling a huge cake*

Rogue: Hi Guys!

Edward: God she's back.

Rogue: Charity! *Rogue storms over to Charity and kisses her hard* I missed you soooooo much!

*Blushes*

Rogue: So guys howzit hangin?

Damon: It sucked.

Rouge: Eddie looking sparkly as usual.

Edward: Why do you keep returning?

Rouge:Caroline looking as cute as you always do.

Caroline: Thank you.

Rogue: Pam you look sexy like you always do *Rogue makes out with Pam*

Seth: Great. Great. Memory. *Holding a video camera*

Rouge:Leah you look angry like you always do. Stefan you look gay like you always do.

Stefan: HEY!

Damon: *Bursts out laughing* Damn I missed her sense of humor

Rouge: Damon You look... alive - How did that vamp-wolf blood taste?

Damon: It tasted like a monkeys ass.

Alice: How do you know that taste?

Damon: ...I...experimented...in the 70's.

EW.

Rouge: Anyway I have a feeling in the Season finale of Season 3 they're going to make you pick between Elena and Stefan I know you'll choose Stefan - blood is thicker than water and family is important.

Damon: Sure. Right.

Stefan: Douche.

Damon: Period licker!

Stefan: Ass licker!

Damon: Bitch bring it on!

...

Rouge: Dean Sam and Cas your show literally sucks, there's no flow in your plot you guys have been to heaven and hell and now you guys are playing with purgatory and to top it off they've renewed your boring show for a 7th season where you guys going to go now? Fairy land? Zone of the Gay people? Land of the zombunnies? Hey if you guys are looking for God why not ask Jesus I'm sure Cas knows how to find Jesus don't ya Cas or maybe he's been tapping that Kitty Kat too often...

Dean/Sam: ...

Katherine: Meow *Tries to lunge at me but I hit her with a frying pan*

Hahahahaha!

Katherine: Bitch your next.

O.O!

Rouge: The only good thing is True Blood Season 3 will be out next month and Sookie and Eric FINALLY have hot shower sex!

Sookie: Haha. Suck on that Alice.

Alice: *growls*

Rogue: Tyler I am soooo happy you're back I just have one Q... Were you naked when you pulled Caroline under that blanket with you?

Tyler: *Smirks* Yeah.

Rouge: Caroline and Pam I love the 2 of you as well! So much so that I brought a surprise! Well it's for Beatrix as well because I love my hot n sexy Step Momma! *Rogue blows a kiss at Beatrix*

Caroline: *Blushes*

Pam: I needed to relive some stress.

*Captain Jack Harkness bursts out of the cake wearing tight leather pants and stares at... ERIC!*

CJH: Come hither you big strong viking man!

Eric: As much as I want to kill you I can help but want to... spank you for having that smile! *Eric Grabs CJH to spank him but Seth jumps on CJH first then Edward... then Jacob... then Stefan... now goes Sam and Dean... Castiel... Daddy John Winchester o_0!*

Damon: Must resist pheromones... must resist... must resist... *Damon turns green* I can't resist! *Damon jumps in and joins the man sex frenzy*

All the women and Bob: *Stare with mouths dropped on the floor anime style*

9 Days later ...

Charity... Charity... *Alice pokes Charity with a stick*

Charity: What... what happened... Why are all the guys laying around... naked and whats that smell...

Well... their male orgy only finished like an hour ago - you passed out from the sheer excitement and that smell is sex... anyway you didn't see the best part of my surprise!

*Len comes out of cake naked Charity passes out... again...*

2 Days later...

Bonnie: So guys... how you holding up...

Damon, Stefan and Tyler: *Throw up* Make us forget PLEASE make us forget!

Seth: Leah... Edward touched me in my private place!

Leah: *Kicks Seth between the legs* Well he wouldn't have if you stayed in the wolf corner instead of leading the men into orgy!

Jacob: Thank God that sparkling bastard didn't get close to me... if only Eric let me have more time with Captain sexy smile... *Jacob has dreamy eyes*

Damon: Chi help me plan revenge!

Caroline: She's still passed out...

Castiel: Should I throw holy water on her?

Katherine:*Drawing penis on Charity's forehead* She's unconscious not possessed my darling.

Pam: Not to be outdone but I think that I should spank Rogue for that act of pure debauchery!

Eric: Maybe I should spank her for not doing it sooner...

Bella: Stop ignoring me!

*Rogue smashes an ash block through Bella's empty head*

Elena: I always knew Eddie couldn't read her mind cause she didn't have one...

*Rogue smashes ash block thorough Elena's head*

Stupid confused Bella clone.

Rouge: Hey Damon - you die in the last book and wake up in hell - surprise! I just hope you pick Bonnie and not Elena.

Damon: Wait...I have a soul to end up in hell?

Just don't ask about the details.

Rogue: Guys LJ Smith will not be doing the next VD trilogy they're going to get a ghost write in... LJ we hope you do it instead I don't think another writer could have your vision just imagine if they give it to Stuffit Meyer she'll make the Salvatore brother sparkle and follow Bella around like they have nothing better to do.

Stefan: PLEASE GOD COME BACK LJ!

Rogue: Hey guys I'll be back my other surprise ran away... come back you mofo!

Okay! *Nose still bleeding* ... Did someone draw on my forehead?

Sam: A...

Katherine: *Covers Sam's mouth* Just a kitty.

A cute kitty?

Katherine: Yeah. Whatever.

Nessie4Ever: Heartsbreak! HeartsBreak! *runs over to HeartsBreak and gives her a hug*

Damon: Do you know this girl?

Nessie: *Glares at Damon for a second then turns back to HeartsBreak* I'm so happy to see you! Where's Kalista? I want to see my niece.

HeartsBreak: *Brings Kalista over to Nessie*

Stefan: Sure. *Brings Kalista to Nessie*

Nessie: AWWWW! She's so cute! *turns to Damon* Yes to answer your question she does know me. I'm her sister. And... *Get's angry at Damon* how could you!

Damon: What the hell. What happened to the sweet girl who was standing here.

Stefan: When does he use the word sweet?

Dean: An alien must have his brain.

Katherine: Are you kidding me? He doesn't have a brain.

Nessie: *turns nice* This girl?

Damon: Yes.

Nessie: *gets mad again* She met you! How dare you impregnate my sister. Of course if you didn't sweet adorable Kalista wouldn't be here. But still! You left Love without a good bye then married Pam. *turns to Pam* Of course, I don't hate you Pam you did nothing wrong. *turns back to Damon* You're just an ass.

Damon: Thanks.

Nessie: That wasn't a compliment idiot. How could you just leave my sister. Don't you know that she still-

HeartsBreak: *slaps Nessie in the back of the head*

Nessie: WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!

HeartsBreak: *glares*

Nessie: He doesn't know does he?

HeartsBreak: No

Nessie: Then never mind. But I still hate you. And this isn't over.

Edward: What is going on?

Bob: I don't know but I brought a lot of popcorn.

Katherine: Who's the new girl?

Nessie: Bitch.

Katherine: What did I do?

Nessie: My sister hates you so I do to. She told me how you dressed poor Kally in black.

Katherine: Whatever.

Alice: You're such a cutie.

Nessie: Thanks Alice. I brought Stefan a bunny, but he can't eat it.

Stefan: Damn it. Why tease me? Why?

Nessie: Waffles for Gir, Chocolate for Chi, Shoes for Alice and death for Fagward.

Edward: Wait. What?

Katherine: Hand over the chocolate.

NEVA! *Runs away*

Damon: And for Damon you brought...

Nessie: *slaps Damon in the face* That.

Pam: Nice. New girl's got attitude.

Nessie: Told you it wasn't over.

Thanks for the chocolate

Alice: These are so cute thanks, Nessie.

Gir: Waffles

Nessie: And for Kalista I bought this cute dress.

HeartsBreak: Thanks sis.

Nessie: You're welcome. I need to go later sis.

HeartsBreak: Bye Ness.

Nessie: Remember Damon this is not over. *walks away*

Damon: You crazy bitch!

Jacob:*Sings* Damon got his ass beat.

Damon: Stay in the corner!

Rogue: Did I miss something... we have a Renegade 4Eva I mean seriously...

Edward: Don't talk about my kid!

Alice: Do you even know her?

Edward: I heard about her.

Katherine: Its sad when your sister questions about your child.

Edward: I can't help it. I'm for book and movie two!

Rouge: You would think by now people would have grown out of the Twilight disease. Newsflash for the mentally challenged Twilight is not even worth using as toilet paper it is a scourge for the minds of young women who are setting themselves up for major disappointment waiting for some sparkly assed virgin dick to watch them up Twilight is all about necrophilia and pedophiles. The character's lack development and people like to think themselves Bella because any plain assed Jane can fit into her brainless shoes - Vampires are DEAD including their sperm unfortunately Meyer didn't research her material before spewing out her bullshit to top it off she's created a whole new breed of pedophiles - the 'Imprinters' I mean seriously almost adult males genetically bound to infants as 'soul mates' I wish I could have a half hour with the author of that crap I would rip her a new one so bad she'd be wearing adult nappies for her remaining lifetimes. Great now that thats over.

Jacob: She has a very big point.

Seth: Its not our fault. We're suppost to stand in the background shirt less. Or in wolf form.

Jacob: I seem very whiny. Do you think I'm whiny Chi?

Just keep your shirt off, just keep your shirt off.

Rogue: My second surprise... *Rogue smiles wickedly as cowboy music starts to play and a stage appears*

Charity just for you for one time only we have a live reenactment of Brokeback Mountain starring Len and Aiden!

I never been so happy.

Damon: The kid is 14!

He'll always be 14! Let me have my fun!

*Some hours later Caroline and Alice try to bring Chi out of her Daze*

Kool Aid: There's a penis on your head...

Charity: What?

Katherine: *snickering*

Charity: I'll get you! *Chases Katherine with a broomstick*

*An hour later*

Chi why are you breathing so hard?

Charity: *Smiles innocently* No reason.

*Katherine walks in covered in blood*

Castiel:*Holding baby Casterine* What happened to you?

Katherine: *Growls* I'm going to shower

Castiel: Can I join?

Katherine: Not unless you want your angel bits to go missing.

Dean: Ouch...

Sam: Double ouch

Casterine: Daddy had an owie *smiles sweetly then smites Elena and Bella*

Elena: What was that for!

Bella: What she said!

Casterine: F-F-Fugly *gurgles and drools on Castiel*

Caroline: Come here pumpkin I'll take you to the nursery to play with the rest of that spawn... *Laughs nervously*

Rouge: Hey what are the names of all the kids in the nursery? I think you should do a chap where we explore the nursery.

That would be fun.

Rogue: Have you guys watched Thor! That dude is HOTTTTTTTTTTTTTT any fangirl want to help me kidnap him and tie him down in the dungeon?

Leah: I wouldn't mind ... future king of Asgard and all...

Pam: He kinda reminds me of Eric... heck yeah

Alice: Count me in

Katherine: Gimme chocolate!

Sookie: Yes bring him on then you all can stay away from Eric!

Rogue: Hmmmm why do I feel like I am missing something...Ahhh yes I remember! Billy boy, Sam squared and Edward start dancing now! *Chicken song starts playing*

Edward: This is so humiliating...

Bill: I would prefer to meet the sun...

Sam squared: Yeeha! We love doing the chicken dance!

Dean:...

John: Take me now lord take me now

Rogue: Seeing as Last week I said we should get rid of Mason this week I think we should say goodbye to Zero... sorry Dude but you just won't get anytime on here between Damon, Eric and Stefan.

Eric: That sounds delicious...

Stefan and Damon: *Throw up*

Mason: Never say die!

*Rogue grinds teeth then rips Mason's head off and incinerates it*

Everyone: o_0

Pam: What a waste of Blood...

Damon: I doubt it would taste good...

Lestat: *Carrying off Mason's body* I'l take what I can get... then I will be back for you Tyler...

Tyler: I will Kill myself before that!

Caroline: STAY AWAY BITCH BOY!

Eric: Don't worry my precious sexy boy wolf I'll get to you before he can *Eric licks lips and Tyler hides behind Leah*

Tyler: He wants you Seth. Take one for the team.

Seth: NO!

Rouge: I want to be a super saiyin... I want to big bang attack the CEO's head like Begets had done to Planet Arlia. *Sigh* I'm going through my DBZ obsession phase again ... I think I will do a few Begets one shots not going to commit myself to larger projects until I finish Moonflower and my Bamon fic... I just love Begets and Mirai Trunks though Chibi Trunks was cute then in GT they just turned him into a fag how could they steal his gorgeous Begets tan and make him look like he was living in his moms powder compact for a couple hundred years and if that wasn't bad enough they made him scrawny and wear shorts and use glasses! Mirai Trunks was the best Trunks ever! I love you Mirai Trunks but not more than I love Begets *sigh* I'm loosing it again... I guess my not sleeping 2 nights straight is taking it's toll - I couldn't put down the latest True Blood book... I finished it at 4 am this morning - It is a disappointment I expected so much more...

Why fuck with Begets!

Rouge: Eric looks like they're going to separate you from Sookie and make you the Queen of Oklahoma's bitch boy and either pair Sookie with Bill again or pair her with Alcide... I actually wouldn't mind Alcide Hervaux I think Sookie does deserve to have kids and have someone to grow old with but then again I have a feeling Eric might either meet the final death or become human... I'm hoping he becomes human but then what would Eric do... how would he live... all these Questions... come on Charlain Harris I need the next book stat!

Eric: I rather meet the final death then be someone's bitch.

Damon: Now you know how I feel.

Eric: But your ment to be my bitch.

Damon: *Turns in disgust*

Rouge: Pam I am so sorry your Girlfriend had to die! You dealt one of the final blows to Victor I was soooo happy about that you lost Miriam because of that show boat... and Sookie it was a vampire fight what did you expect to happen? You wanted them to crack like ceramic mugs the way the Cullen's do? of course there would be blood involved after all that you've been through the torture, being consumed by enemy fae whilst you were conscious, being staked, having your body mutilated I thought you'd be stronger. Well now you're free of the blood bond you have with Eric go be with Bill or Sam or some other little fur ball at times you're strong and admirable then there are times I want to decapitated you myself. Pam you rock you will always rock and you held your own in a fight with Eric even though you're a hundred compared to his thousand you kicked Eric's ass! *Rogue bows* You are fuckworthy! *Pam and Rogue run to the back room*

You fought Pam?

Eric: *Shrugs*

So much drama.

Vie: Hola senors et senoritas!

Hi.

Alice: What's up.

Vie: I have not been here in a LONG time. What did I miss? And can I just say: Chi has a birthday! Happy happy birthday! Go Charity; it's your birthday! Happy Birthday Chica! Vie gives Chi a homemade three layered chocolate pudding cake with cream cheese and whipped cream filling with strawberries on top. Yep...your girl can cook.*

Yay!

Damon: You do not desever the cake.

But its my cake.

Damon: Charity. The cake is a lie.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Crys in the corner* Why you lie cake? Why you lie!

Vie: Hey Tara, Bonnie and Alice how are my sistahs? I missed u guys my life gets in the way sometimes.

Tara: We've been doing good.

Bonnie: We've missed everyone.

Alice: Let's get the party started!

Damon: Hey Sexy Ass Damon *Vie tongue kisses Damon* Damn, I can say I missed you the most. Hi Step..*Vie gives Stefan a brotherly hug and gives him two bunnies*.

Tara: At least its brotherly.

Vie: Dean, Tyler, Sam 1 and 2, and Jacob! How are my fine ass babes! *Vie changes into some red stilettos and a black latex catsuit with whips, chains and cuffs. Vie leads the guys into the backroom for hours of fun*.

3 days later.

... Hand over the cake!

Damon: The cake lied.

Lied about what?

Damon: Hey Jack. *Vie kisses Jack on the cheek and gives him some rum.*

Jack: At least you haven't forgotten about me love.

Vie: Well guys I gotta go...working girl and all. Chi, I promise to visit more often.

Alright. Let's party!

*plays music*

Bob: Wait whose leaving?

Bonnie: Peace I'm out!

Elena: Same here.

Katherine: I'm staying here bitch.

...

Bella: Bye!

Bill: I was really never here.

Jack: I feel invisible.

You just came here.

Jack: I know love.

Gir: I want waffles!

Damon: Bye bitches.

Bonnie: *twitch* What?

Damon: Bye.

I'm happy that you guys stayed with us until now.

Bonnie: I need to take care of the babies. *Twitch* You bastard.

Damon: ...

Zero are you staying?

Zero: If I have to stay here anymore...I'll die from all this insanity.

...Okay?

Dean: So me and Sam will get more air time?

I guess so.

Katherine: RAWR!

AHHHHHHH! *Runs away*

Katherine: Hahaha!

Seth: ...

Sam: Well this is the end of the show!

Yep. Its been a long and lonely time. I've had a lot of crap happen to me and let me tell you this, family can cut deeper then an stranger. Yes I am deep. But I moved from Cail back to Kansas City Missouri. Fun. But I miss doing this. Writing this crazy story...so much that I have been typing on my blackberry! My hands hurt a lot. But I found out that this story was nominated. I probably lost...lost hard but I'm happy that it got nominated.

Damon: Blah, blah, blah, wrap it up.

Stupid. Any way I want to thank HeartsBreakInLove, Rogue Assasin, Nessies4ever and Vie for the reviews and the readers for continue to read it while I'm off in lala land. All so a special thanks JHandAC with the little push I needed.

Bonnie: Peace.

Elena: Love.

Damon: Shut up! I'm watching Charlie Sheen!

Oh I wanna watch!

Damon: No.

Aww!

John: Thank god its over. *Walks out*

Dean: Dad!

John: I'm dead...again.

Sam/Dean: O.O!

Bye guys!


	82. A ruined party and Damon's fear

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Rugrats!

Damon: *Looks down* What show is it now?

Stefan: *Shrugs* Don't know but I have a feeling it will be fun.

Angelica: Who are these losers?

Damon: Huh?

Angelica: *Bats her eyes* Hi! I'm Angelica. Are you here for Dil's party?

Damon: Didn't your mom teach you not to talk to strangers?

Angelica: Huh?

Stefan: *Kicks Damon* We're here for the birthday boy. We're cousins that have been twenty if time.

Angelica: *Blinks* That's a lot of times.

Damon: *Whispers* Smooth move.

Stefan: Unlike you.

Tommy: They look weird.

Kimi: They look like paper.

Chuckie: I think they are the boogermen!

Phil: The Boogermen?

Lil: *Laughs* There's no such thing as the Boogermen!

Chuckie: A huh.

Phil/Lil: Ne huhm.

Chuckie: Its true I did saw it I did!

Tommy: Why don't we goes to see if they are the boogermen? Who ever wants to go with me then comes on!

Dil: *Blows a spit bubble*

Tommy: Stay here Dil. *Crawls off*

Chuckie, Kimi, Phil, Lil: *Crawls off*

Damon: What's with those little ankle biters?

Stefan: Don't worry about it.

Stu: Let the party get started!

Drew: Pfft. Angelica's party going to be much bigger than this.

Didi: Don't start you two.

Damon: *Looks at the babies* Creepy bastards.

Angelica: Oh! You said a baddy word!

Damon: *Looks at her for a second then pushes her out the way*

Stu: Bring on the clowns!

Damon: C-c-clowns.

Angelica: Don't tell me your afraid of a little clown.

Damon: I'm not afraid of anything you little brat. Now go along before I deiced to fling your little ass.

Angelica: *Eyes water up* Y-you...you...*crys* YOU MEANIE!

Damon: Shut...

Stefan: *Pushes Damon* Ass.

Damon: She young enough for you.

Stefan: ... You desever to die for that.

Damon: I'm dead already! I'll take you on any time any...AAAAAAAAAAAAAA. *Jumps in Stefan's arms*

Stefan: ... *Drops him*

Po Po the clown: Hey kids. Look who I got!

Didi: Where's the babies?

Stu: How should I know? Why don't keep an eye on the kids and stop asking the person who's been setting up this damn party.

Didi: *Gasp* Stu.

Stu: Just calls it as I sees it. Now who wants cake!

Stefan: Let go of me Damon.

Damon: *Shakes his head* No bastard.

Po Po the clown: Hey little boy...

Damon: Don't talk down to me you bastard.

Stefan: Can I get your number?

Po Po the clown: Come sit on my lap...

Damon: I-If you come any closer...I'll...I'll

Po Po the clown: *Walks forward and grabs Damon's arm* See I'm harmless.

Damon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA! *Hits the clown in the head so hard it breaks open*

Everyone: ...*Screams*

Stefan: What do you do?

Damon: I warned him.

Chuckie: See! They are the boggermens!

Phil: Oh! There's red candy everywhere!

Kimi: Why are the adults screaming?

Lil: I don't know but I want some candy. *crawls towards the brain matter*

Stu: GOD SAVE THE CHILDREN!

*People running all around*

...You are going to hell.

Damon: Apperalty I'm already there.

Eric: Can't believe your afraid of clowns.

Pam: A total shocker.

Damon: Shut up.

Sam: How much for a picture?

Damon: Picture?

Stefan: I don't have any...*whispers* 9.50.

Damon: *Twitch* Laugh it up bastards. The almighty Damon had a fear.

Edward: *On the floor rolling laughing*

And here I thought that your only fear was to die alone.

Damon: ...Not helping.

Come on I think it's cute. What do you think wolfs corner?

Tyler: *Holding the picture* I think it's over 9000!

Damon/me: ...

Caroline: Tyler!

Tyler: Sorry.

Damon: Where up get the picture?

Stefan: I know people.

Damon: Chi I will...

Why is it always me?

Damon: You look guilty of everything. I bet you started World War 1m.

I'm not that old!

Dean: Let's just start the show!

Caroline: Have you guys found John yet?

Sam: We don't even want to talk about it. *Sighs*

Lighting strike's and Rogue appears in the middle of the room.

Rogue: Damn I missed this place and I missed you too Chi! So whats been happening with you guys?

Damon: Been eating people. Stuff like that.

Ew.

Tyler: The wolf corner is going to have a boycott.

Leah: Don't bring me into this?

I thought you wanted to leave?

Leah: I don't take questions.

...

Rouge: As for me well I told my new boss to take his job and fuck himself with it. The man is half my height he is a certified midget, he belongs in a circus not a boardroom that and the fact that he is about as thick as Pam Anderson's implants.

Bwhaha.

Damon: Never used that as an insult.

Rogue: Damon and Eric I love you both and Aiden from Being Human... Yum except he looks a little like Stefan.

Aiden: ... Thanks?

Stefan: I'm not that bad looking.

Damon: I'm surprise that those eyebrows haven't tooken over your face yet.

Stefan: Shut up Clown boy.

Damon: *Twitches* Bastard. *Tackles Stefan*

...Guys.

Stefan/Damon: *Still fighting*

Eric: They look so cute.

Damon: *Pushes Stefan away from him* Take him.

Rogue: Pam! I missed you *Rogue and Pam go to the backroom to make up for lost time*

Edward, you got a fish?

Edward: Goldfish.

Damon: Lying bastard.

Edward: Shut up. I thought you said that this was a kiddie game and you weren't playing?

Damon: I'm not playing. I'm calling you a cheating asshole.

Stefan: Can't we just finish the game.

...NO WONDER I WAS LOSSING MOST OF THE TIME!

Damon: What happened to that little brain of your?

Shut up!

*Rogue and Pam come out 9 hours later wearing french maid costumes*

*Low whistles*

Rogue: Dean and Sam - no words you both suck and now you both shall do the chicken dance!

Dean: Me dance, you're insane *Rogue lashes Dean with a flaming whip* I'm dancing I'm dancing!

Everyone: ...

Rogue: Eddie boy - you too.

Edward: I hate, you I will eat your liver!

Rogue: *Rolls eyes and takes out a chain saw and cuts Edward's left arm off then beats him with it*

Edward:*Crys* I'll dance I'll DANCE!

Rogue: Anyway I have no idea why in my last review Vegeta came out as begets, must have been auto spell. Vegeta is my favorite character ever I love him more that Captain Planet and Batman! fangirl squeal.

Yay! I love his 'Because I'm Batman.' Catch phase.

Jacob: She means the comic book one. Not the one on You tube.

...Ha...ha. I...knew that.

Damon: You suck at lying.

...Look there's a clown.

Damon: *Turns quickly* Where?

*Smirks*

Damon: *Throws a wrench at my head*

Ow!

Rogue: Katherine for some reason I like you, and Castiel and Casterine... it's like a nice little package.

...Where's Katherine?

Castiel: Something about a chocolate store.

Cashier: Lady. You have to pay for that, you can't just eat that in the store.

Katherine: *Looks at him then rips off his arm*

Cashier: *Runs around screaming *

Katherine: Anyone got a promble with eating chocolate in the store?

Everyone: *Shakes their heads*

Katherine: Good. *Eats more chocolate*

...Why?

Castiel: It was either me or them.

Such a caring man.

Rogue: Chi we should have a best family vote and not the fangirl kids, the

character's we've thrown together and their kids. Elena and Edward can be in

the running with Nina and Bob jnr well I guess Bon would enter with them...

and lets see BonBon and her little Salvatore army with Damon.

Last thing we need is a Damon Army.

Stefan: He's almost impregnated half the world.

Everyone: *Looks at Damon*

Damon: I was bored.

*Sighs*

Rogue: I have deleted my Bamon story, just lost my passion for it but I will continue with Moonflower, I like the concept of Leadward.

I know that feeling. Me and Little Sis have been battling. I've lost the passion but at the same time I'm cuosite about how it ends.

Rouge: I'm too tired to blow stuff up right now.

Edward: About time!

Rogue: I think Seth should go, as well as Jeremy.

Didn't Jeremy leave already?

Damon: Indiana Faker is off doing things that I don't really care about.

Rogue: Let's put it this way, these

Character's should stay, Damon, Dean, Sam, Stefan, Eric, Pam, Edward, Elena,

Bella, Katherine and Billy, Sookie, Caroline, Jacob and Leah can make special appearances.

Tyler: Bye Seth.

Seth: Your name isn't even on the list.

Tyler: ...

Leah/Jacob: I can deal with that.

Caroline: Me too.

Rogue: Damon is our star he shines way brighter than Stefan - we can't do without him.

Damon: Why is Stefan on here anyways?

Stefan: Selling photos of our star.

Damon: Bitch.

Stefan: Check one to Stefan.

Rogue: So Castiel you're now God... Kat how does it feel to be screwing God?

Katherine: It's fun making god my bitch.

...*Takes a step to the side* I'm not going to hell for no one.

Damon: You have a first class ticket with me and half these people on planet earth.

*Frown*

Rogue: I want them to bring the trixster back he was cool.

Damon: We just got rid of people!

Rogue: So who here is a DOOL fan? I am so a believer in Ejole?

DOOL?

Edward: Days of our lives.

...You watch that?

Edward: When I'm not with Bella.

Ejole?

Edward: Yep!

Damon: Soap operas suck.

Leave GH alone.

Damon: That one is the worst. Who hasn't been in the hospital on that show.

Yeah I know. But I can't believe they lost a huge story line in the future.

Dean: I know right.

Eric: I rarely watch tv.

...Okay.

Rogue: So Pam, Damon how is matrimony?

Damon: It's been okay.

Pam: I'm just having fun honey.

Rogue: Katherine, Castiel any wedding bells soon?

Castiel: *Looks over at Katherine*

Katherine: Nope.

Rogue: Bella! *Rogue shoots Bella with a cross bow*

Nice. *Claps*

Rogue: Sam, Dean - think daddy John is going to give you guys his blessing?

Dean/Sam: ...

John: *Has heart attack*

Rogue: Well peeps I'm out, peace, love and pizza.

Bye!

Sam: Our show is over!

Yep. Now I'm going to watch X factor!

Katherine: It better be good.

Damon: I doubt it. It's like every show on tv now a day.

Stop ruining our fun.

Pam: Thanks to Rogue Assasin for the review.

Jacob: Also, thank you readers...can I put my shirt back on?

Nope.

Caroline: Peace.

Leah: *Boredly* Love.

Katherine: Simon needs to be an asshole on that show or I'll knock some heads!

Sam: ...

Bye guys. Oh I forgot to tell you guys! I'm a mom!

Damon: Don't look at me.

No. I mean like a pet parent. I got a rat terrier named Cookie Monster. The monster part really fits her to a T. She's the reason I wanted to change my schooling from Chef to Vet. I love animals and I could see myself as a Vet years down the road so wish me luck.

Let's vote! Who's the best family and who's the best couple on here? It could be anyone who's on or has been on the show. Have fun with it. Bye!


	83. Another Twilight movie so little time!

Shows they can't do Together

Twilight

Damon: God. Not again.

Edward: *Stares*

Damon: I'M NOT BELLA!

Edward: I don't know you.

Damon: But sadly I know you and if you come over and try to sniff me I will karate chop you in the face.

Edward: But you scent is so addicting.

Damon: *Kicks him in the face*

Edward: *Falls out the seat*

Random teacher dude: Bella go to the princepals office.

Damon: I AM NOT BELLA! ARE YOU PEOPLE JUST THAT STUPID? THIS PASTEY ASS BASTARD IS A VAMPIRE! DON'T YOU EVEN QUESTION WHEN HE IS MISSING WHEN IT'S SUNNY?

Random teacher dude: I don't...know?

Damon: ...I hope you die.

* * *

Stefan: ...I know this place.

James: Rawr!

Stefan: ...Why?

James: ... *Looks around* Wrong person.

Stefan: Yeah.

James: I mean you look so much like him.

Stefan: ... Hey say... why don't you find him before I kill you.

James: A ...well that's kinda mean.

Stefan: Says the who get off on terrorizing little dull girls.

James: ...*Walks away* Fucking asshole.

Stefan: Just go before Chris gets you.

* * *

Damon: I'm going to kill you all.

Princepal: That's not nice Bella.

Damon: I'm not Bella the emoitionless doll. I am Damon Salvatore. Say it with me now, Damon. D-a-m-o-n. Dickbreath.

Princepal: I will call you by your goverment name. Unless your getting a sex change.

Damon: I'm going to kill your dog. You dumb fuck.

* * *

Stefan: You just wouldn't follow the book huh?

Stop breaking the fourth wall right now. We're just moving along.

Stefan: How many pages did you skip?

One.

Stefan: ...

Three.

Stefan: ...

Just the boring parts I swear.

Stefan: ...

Hey it took me a while to get through it. I didn't want to be out of the loop when the movie came out.

Stefan: And what movie did you see in full?

Eclipse.

Stefan: ...

Hey at least they were better then the last shiteater!

Stefan: You are just not going to let that go are you.

IT'S AANG! NOT UNG! IF YOU GONNA DO SOMETHING THEN DO IT RIGHT ASSHOLE!

* * *

Damon: *Hits Edward in the head with a baseball bat* DIE!

Edward: Please stop this. *Runs away*

Damon: You let a car hit me.

Edward: I saw a penny!

Damon: You kiddnap me.

Edward: Not on purpose.

Damon: And you dropped me from the tree asshole.

Edward: Well I didn't know that you were a backseat driver!

Damon: *Hits Edward again* I would punch you but my hand would break.

Edward: Didn't stop you from kicking me.

Rosealie: When are we going to play?

Alice: I don't know but this is fun!

Rosealie: *Rolls eyes*

Emmett: I didn't know you can play baseball like that.

Damon: *Chases Edward with a bat* JUST TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!

Edward: *Runs away*

Rosealie: They are both stupid.

Damon: *Turns to Roselie* Bitch your next!

Roselie: ...Control your human Edward.

Edward: Yeah...like that's going to happen.

Esme: O.o.

Carlisle: Ha ha... I really don't give a fuck what happens in these books or movies.

Jasper: We can see.

* * *

Stefan: Why was I brought to a dancehall?

James: I've always wanted a captive audicese.

Stefan: You've wanted backup because "Bella" tried to bash your head in with a bat.

James: Like I'm scared of miss falls alot.

Stefan: ...And how long have you've been following him...her?

James: I've could have been the main character! I've seen her first! *Cries* She could have had my vampire babies!

Stefan: ...Didn't you get killed in the first book?

James: My love for her goes on!

Stefan: What about the red haired girl?

James: SHE GAVE ME CRABS!

Stefan: Okay...like I really needed to know that.

* * *

James: It...took ten days...after the phone call I gave you.

Damon: That woman on the line sounded fuckable but I don't give into threats.

James: But she is your mom!

Damon: *Shrugs* Nah.

James: What made you come?

Damon: To tell you to stop stalking me and Stefan you bitch I will karate kick you in the face.

Stefan: Hello manly Bella.

Damon: ...*Throws a shoe at Stefan*

Edward: That's my shoe.

Damon: Shut up and die already.

James: I'm standing right here! Let's fight.

Damon: Your still here. You look like a retarded lion. No offence.

James: *Gasp* Hurtful.

Damon: Okay bye!

James: I'm suppost to kill you and laugh in your boyfriend's face.

Edward: *Mouths* You can have her.

Damon: Oh yeah about that...*Throws a bomb at James then runs*

James:What?...

* * *

Stefan: Where you get the bomb?

Damon: From that Japanese guy who shot me in the head.

Stefan: *Looks at Edward* Let go before I throw up.

Edward: Are you like my mirror image?

Damon: *Kicks Edward in the face* You thought I forgot about the car didn't you. You bastard.

Stefan: ...Okay that works for me.

* * *

Damon: And that's how Twilight ended

I really don't think so.

Stefan: We should have started with Twilight then did New Moon.

I didn't know that I was going to make a new one.

Stefan: Still...

Katherine: Hey. Hand over all your chocolates.

It's not Halloween yet.

Katherine: ...Bitch...

Sam: So are we going to do the Halloween show?

Yep.

Dean: Heard you've been sick.

Yeah but I got me a new phone and I had to rewrite everything I had. Which sucked.

Damon: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Miss I'm not watching Vampire Diaries because X factor is on.

But I'm Simon's bitch!

Damon: *Narrows eyes* So...I have to teach you again

...About?

Damon: Who's your master?

Ha ha...*Runs away*

Damon: Get back here. *Chases me*

Everyone: ...

No!

Dean: Let's get this show on the road.

Tyler: We think we are treated unfairly in the wolf corner.

Leah: I'm not in this.

Jacob: Who made you leader of this pack?

Tyler: Since I have more words then you in each chapter I am automically leader of this wimpy pack.

Seth: *Gasp*

Jacob: Okay. I say we should have a fight for leadership. Come on bitch rock, paper, scissors time.

Katherine: Lame.

Tyler: Shut up you soulless haperpy.

Katherine: You will join my harem. Just you wait.

Caroline: Back off.

Sam: *Whispers* Run.

Katherine: Shut up tranny.

Sam: ...

Pam: Where are Chi and Damon?

*Outside*

NNNNNOOOOOOO!

Damon: Get back here! *Holding a chainsaw*

Neva!

Pam: They are in there own litte world.

Dean: Let's get the show on the road!

Sam: What about those two? *Points at me and Damon*

SAVE ME!

Katherine: Hahaha suffer bitch.

Leah: I hope he catches her.

Tyler: Let's get it started.

*The floor shakes and quakes and cracks and Rogue emerges dressed a a cow girl*

Edward: God why.

Rogue: Hiya Peeps, riding Hell hounds is FUN *Dean shivers*

Dean: You would have to bring them.

Rogue: Damon I so don't blame you for your Caulrophobia -who loves clowns -they're freaky! I remember when I was at the fair in the last year in High School and this clown spooked me from behind and my gut reaction was to punch... I broke the poor dude's nose -he was only like 16. Sooooo who would win a fight between Damon and a great white shark?

Damon: o_0! The hell?

Everyone: Let us see!

Damon: Everyone not see!

*Pam hands Damon a spear and Rogue pulls the lever to drop Damon in shark infested waters*

Damon: *Tries to cuss Rogue out but he's under water so we can't hear him*

Pam: Bring me a sovenier darling!

Stefan: Please kill Damon Mr Shark! *After lots of tossing and turning and red swirls of blood, the shark and Damon call it a draw*

Stefan: *laughing* you couldn't beat an overgrown fish!

Damon: *Picks Stefan up and tosses him in the shark tank* Haha.

Everyone: 0_0

Damon: You go defeat him

*Screams are heard as Stefan's arm comes flying out the tank hitting Edward in the groin*

...

Edward: *Passes out*

Katherine: I shall draw boobs and a vajayjay on his face!

Tyler: *Smirk* That's the only way he's going to get any.

Leah: Haha...not funny.

Rogue: LOL -Tyler I so love you for that over 9000 line that was Vegeta's first memorable line...

Elena: I think someone should go in and save Stefan... he's down to one leg and 3 toes and his torso...

Rogue: *Smirks and snap fingers and the shark tank disappears* Sam, Edward and Billy boy put the Salvatore together again.

Edward: Why? I liked him better in pieces.

Bill: I am the vampire King of-

Pam: *Blasts off Bills head with a bazooka*

Eric: Amen. Goodbye King Dickface.

Rogue: Well Damon in the last book you aren't exactly in Hell, actually it's this dark realm you keep coming and going from, you have many friends and enemies there. In fact you died because Elena's wings of destruction appeared and well she blew up this tree that fell on you and staked you, and there was this really emotional scene where you all cried and then they all had to communicate with you telepathically and all that was left was your child self because your adult self had gone to rest. But in the Epilogue, you kept seeing Bonnie and Elena then you raised your arm because you remembered that you were Damon. Elena is finally over her confusion and has decided to be with Stefan even though she has a connection with you.

Damon: ...Wings? Wait I died from a tree?

Katherine: That's what you get.

Rogue: Pam and Eric did fight -a nasty one -in Sookie's kitchen because of the new King -not Bill -Bill never became King in the books he turned out to be a vampire computer nerd.

Pam: Wow.

Bill: No wonder I like the show better.

Eric: How much blood was shed?

Rogue: Why on earth is the wolf corner going to boycott? No one's going to pay attention unless Leah takes off her clothes anyway.

Leah: I will bite your hand off.

Pam:*Whispers to Rogue* Sneaky way to get off her clothes I like it!

Rogue: I have lots off never before used insults -watch closely Damon I might teach you a thing or 2.

Damon: Sure why not. Fuck there water in my ears.

Rogue: Actually Stefan, Aiden looks way better than you and he's got this dark side like Damon... He's actually like a fusion of Damon and Stefan his name should be Stamon (sounds like a pokemon).

Stefan: why everyone gotta take my shit. Why do everyone got to ride me like a fucking rodeo!

Damon: Like it only happens to you.

Stefan: Edward, Aiden, who else?

That guy down the street.

Pam: Not helping.

Rogue: Jacob if you ever put your shirt back on you will be killed -KEEP IT OFF -that's an order!

Jacob: Fine. *Tears off Pig lobster shirt*

Rogue: Well my favorite family is obviously the Casterine family and my favorite couple definitely Katherine and Castiel -I'm a believer in the angel and the vampire. Damon how do you keep up with child support if you have soooooo Pam how do you put up with being step mom to so many?

Pam: Lots pof Earplugs. And Frebreeze.

Rogue: After they decided to make Bonnie whiny and pair her with Jeremy I lost interest. Bonemy sucks it makes me not want to watch VD most people I know only watch VD for Damon, they should take out everyone else and just show Damon from start to end stripping and pole dancing.

Damon: ...I agree.

Rogue: Stefan you belong on a street corner, why do you even compare yourself with Damon you clearly fall short in a big way, you should be a man whore and sell yourself -I'm sure Elena and Bella would buy you.

Edward: I think not! *Edward drags Elena to the wolf corner*

Leah: Walk away slowly... or die! *Leah phases and it starts raining blood and sparkles*

Rogue: I meant bring Trixster back on the show Damon seeing how Supernatural sucks, to think I used to love Dean but then when you think about it he and Sam are whiny and annoying they're like two little girls all they need is pigtails and frocks and they would look like the Stepford wives.

Dean: That's not true.

Damon: It's like gay porn without the sex.

That doesn't make any sence.

Damon: It's something else that I'm never going to watch.

Jacob: Sure. *Rolls eyes*

Damon: Girl on girl doesn't count.

But both of them had a ...

Damon: *Covers my mouth with his hand * You can kill my hand all you want. Besides it was a cruel joke sent by Eric.

Eric: *Smirks*

Rogue: ...DOOL is awesome, Nicole and EJ are so good together they could be the new Kateno (Kate and Stefano). I think the old Brady needs to come back the current one sucks. The B&B should end they're inbred to the core everyone is now related they're like the royal family.

Damon: Like Supernatural.

Elena: Chi turned blue.

*Drools*

Katherine: So many things to write so little time. *Pulls out a market*

Rogue: *Shakes head* Pam what is your favorite thing about Damon?

Pam: I like a man that could get rough with me during sex.

Everyone: ...

Pam: Man are weak now a days.

Rogue: Damon what do you like the most about Pam?

Damon: I can stand to see her after sex. Which is rare.

*Hits Damon* Your hand taste nasty!

Damon: No one told you to lick my hand.

I think I got an S.T.D! *Spits*

Rogue:Katherine why no wedding bells? Chi could have been the flower girl.

Katherine: Why don't we cut up Chi and hang her on the ceiling like a bloody disco ball

...No.

Rogue: Now about blowing stuff up... BELLA! *Rogue programs and Iraqi scud missile to blow up Bella in her house and Forks* *Eric claps* now I can build my Vampire mall.

Edward: Pretty colors.

Rogue: Daddy John... I have a secret... Sam... Sam is a hermaphrodite...bwahahhahahaha*John has a stroke*

Dean: Not again.

Rogue: *Rogue takes a bow* Well Peeps peace, love and pizza -it's time to eat *Rogue disappears in a blast of fire*

Damon: It is always fun when she's here.

Yeah.

Veronica Mars: This story is so AWESOME I love Edward I think he is so amazing.

Damon: You have a fan.

Edward: You are like an angel in an ocean of haters.

Veronica Mars: He and Bella belong together -the fans are too mean on him.

Damon: I could be meaner.

Damon!

Veronica Mars: He watches you all the time even when you sleep -such devotion. I'm 14 but I want someone just like him! I love you Edward.

Damon: Take Stefan!

Stefan: *Growls*

Well we hope you find...

Damon: A very creepy old dude that will stand over your bed and watch you breathing as he fights himself from killing you.

...Your an asshole Damon.

Damon: I know what I am.

We should hope she finds her own Edward!

Damon: So if I stood over your bed while you sleeping...

I'll punch you in the nose.

Katherine: We need a video of that.

Galvatron: Dude you rock This is awesome

Aw! Thxs.

Katherine: It's a lie.

Why do you like to pick on me?

Katherine: Your an easy target.

You know if I finally snap and hit you with a chair do say anything.

Katherine: I don't really care.

Galvatron: Pam is the best character ever.

Pam: Thank you darling.

Galvatron: For your family awards I would say Pam, Damon and all their kids and step kids and for the best couple Dean and Sam -they have this old people in love thing about them. Peace out.

Bye!

Dean: We don't...

Yeah. You kinda do.

Jacob: Do it again.

Tyler: You can't keep choosing rock.

Jacob: I DON'T CARE!

Castile: Should I teach him how to play?

Katherine: Didn't you just learn.

Dean: He's a fast learner.

Katherine: *Looks him up and down* Back off or die.

HeartsBreakInLove: Hey guys!

Alice: Hey love!

Nessie: Hey Sis

Heartsbreak: And Damon?

Damon: Yes?

Heartsbreak: My Sis is a crazy bitch when she pissed.

Nessie: HEY!

Heartsbreak: Oh you know I love you.

Damon: You were saying love?

Heartsbreak: She's a crazy bitch but so am I. So dont get on my bad side.

Damon: Will take note of that.

Edward: I'll be sure not to get on your bad side too.

Heartsbreak: Oh you're already on my bad side! *shoots Edward with an AK47*

Nessie: Nice one Sis. *laughs* and oh my gosh it's Jacob black!

Heartsbreak: *laughs* Uh oh.

Jacob: Yeah it's me... Why?

Heartsbreak: Remember that friend I told you about?

Nessie: Yeah that's me! *smiles sweetly*

Damon: It's all a lie! Don't fall for it! She's not sweet!

Dean: He said it again!

Heartsbreak: Shut up! *smacks Damon*

Jacob: I can deal with crazy. I put up with all of you people don't I?

Everyone: HEY!

Heartsbreak: *laughs*

Nessie: I can put up with crazy too. I deal with Heartsbreak every day.

Heartsbreak: HEY!

Damon: *laughs*

Heartsbreak: Fuck you. *whispers* such a bastard.

Stefan: *laughs*

Heartsbreak: So you agree too!

Stefan: Oh yeah. Damon's a pain in the ass.

Damon: O.O

Stefan: You pride yourself on being an ass.

Damon: Pfft.

Heartsbreak: *laughs*

Caroline: Hey love!

Heartsbreak: Hey care!

Caroline: Great party the other night!

Bonnie: Yeah it was awesome!

Damon: There was a party?

Elena: Uh yes.

Damon: Why was I not invited?

Pam: Because love hates you.

Damon: You went Pam?

Pam: Yep.

Damon: How did I not notice?

Heartsbreak: Because, you're you.

Stefan: But the rest of us had fun!

Damon: Everyone was invited except me?

HeartsBreak: Yeah pretty much. But if it helps I didn't invite Edward either.

Edward: Part of me thanks you for that.

Everyone: We're thankful too!

Damon: I don't understand why love hates me so much.

Nessie: Are you fucking kidding me?

Damon: No, I honestly don't know.

Heartsbreak: Drop it, you're fucking clueless.

Nessie: Hey love, kallys going to start talking soon, what do you think her first words will be?

Heartsbreak: Hopefully, Damon's a bastard.

Damon: I'm her father!

Heartsbreak: So? It's not like you help.

Damon: My DNA is in her!

Heartsbreak: Stefan does a better job than you.

Stefan: So I get to babysit again?

Heartsbreak: As long as you keep her away from Katherine... And Damon.

Katherine: Bitch.

Damon: She's my child I can see her if I want!

Heartsbreak: No you fucking can't!

Nessie: *whispers* You're doing a good job at hiding it

Heartsbreak: *whispers* Thanks

Damon: Hiding what?

Nessie: The fact that she wants to punch your face in right now.

Damon: Oh come on love, you still want me.

Heartsbreak: In your dreams.

Hey love!

Heartsbreak: Hey chi!

Do you have chocolate today?

Heartsbreak: *Hands you chocolate*

YES!

Katherine: Hand it over.

Aw.

Gir: Waffles?

Heartsbreak: Crush hug Damon first. *smiles*

Damon: Oh shit.

Heartsbreak: Yo Sis you've gotta see this.

Nessie: see what?

Heartsbreak: *points to Gir crush hugging Damon and laughs*

Gir: WAFFLES! *crushes Damon*

Damon: *gasping for air* Bones... Breaking!

Heartsbreak&Nessie: *Dead laughing*

Tara: Hey love! How are you?

Heartsbreak: Hey Tara! I'm good. How are you? *smiles*

Tara: I'm good. And we should totally have another Damon free party sometime soon

Damon: Fuck you!

Heartsbreak: Bastard. And yes Tara we should *smiles*

Damon: I still don't get it.

Heartsbreak: Then you must be fucking blind!

Katherine: He is blind Heartsbreak: *laughs* I officially like you!

Katherine: You're not too bad either. But you're still a bitch.

Heartsbreak: Back at you.

Damon: O.O

Heartsbreak: And wolf's corner should get some love! *kisses Tylers cheek*

Tyler: Thanks love

Heartsbreak: Call me.

Damon: *twitch*

Heartsbreak: What's his problem?

Bonnie: I think someone is a little jealous

Damon: Am not.

Heartsbreak: Whatever.

Seth: How come Tyler's the only one of us that gets some love?

Heartsbreak: Aw! *hugs seth*

Jacob: Do I get some love?

Nessie: I'll give you all the love you want. *winks*

Jacob: Sounds like a plan!

Heartsbreak: *laughs*

Nessie: So where is my niece?

Heartsbreak: The nursery.

Damon: Can I go see her love?

Heartsbreak: Uhhh no?

Damon: And why not?

Heartsbreak: Because. Her aunt is going to see her. And, I'm sure she thinks you're a bastard.

Damon: I'm her father!

Heartsbreak: You don't act like it!

Nessie: You two never stop do you?

Heartsbreak: He's an ass. *goes to the nursery, comes back with Kally*

Damon: Please, just let me hold my daughter.

Heartsbreak: *Looks to Kally and then Damon* Fine. But not for long. *gives her to Damon*

Damon: *Holds her*

Kally: Da.

Nessie: I think she's about to say her first words!

Heartsbreak: Oh my gosh!

Kally: Dada bastard. *laughs*

Heartsbreak: That's my girl! *laughs*

Damon: It's not like she prefers you any more!

Heartsbreak: *Takes Kally and holds her*

Kally: mama *Smiles up at me*

Damon: How does she like you better than me?

Nessie: I'm going to slap him again!

Heartsbreak: You do it before I do.

Nessie: *Takes Kally from love* hi Kally.

Kally: *Smiles*

Damon: Again HOW?

Stefan: Uh they actually care for her!

Damon: I care about her!

Stefan: Before today you didn't even hold her!

Damon: Love doesn't let me near her!

Dean: For good reason.

Heartsbreak: See? Dean gets it!

Dean: The hell I do love.

Damon: Fuck you both!

Heartsbreak: Bastard!

Damon: Don't say that around my daughter!

Nessie: One day she will ask you what a bastard is love.

Heartsbreak: Oh I know. I have the perfect definition.

Dean: What is it?

Heartsbreak: Go look at your father!

Damon: I don't know why you hate me so much love!

Everyone: YOU'RE CLUELESS!

Heartsbreak: So I'm not alone!

Damon: Are you still pissed at me for getting you pregnant?

Heartsbreak: Took you long enough. And you still haven't got the other half of it.

Nessie: I'm surprised he even got part of it!

Heartsbreak: Oh me too.

Stefan: Can I hold Kally please?

Heartsbreak: *Gives stefan Kally* Don't give her to Damon.

Damon: And Stefan gets to hold her?

Heartsbreak: Yes!

Damon: Why is that?

Heartsbreak: Because he takes good care of her!

Damon: I would take good care of her if you gave me a chance!

Heartsbreak: Yeah... Not a risk I'm willing to take.

Katherine: That's smart decision.

Damon: Fuck you katherine!

Heartsbreak: Look Damon, I know that I'm always upset about how you don't take care of my daughter.

Damon: Our daughter.

Heartsbreak: There you go again!

Damon: What did I do?

Heartsbreak: You act like you have a claim to her!

Damon: I do! She is my daughter.

Heartsbreak: It's one thing to have a daughter, but another thing to actually take care of her!

Damon: You don't let me near her!

Heartsbreak: Would you want to be? Would you help if I let you?

Damon: I'd try.

Heartsbreak: Really?

Damon: Yes love really.

Heartsbreak: Fine.

Damon: So you'll let me see Kalista?

Heartsbreak: Yes.

Damon: Can I hold her?

Heartsbreak: You held her already.

Damon: For 5 seconds!

Heartsbreak: *Sighs* Fine. *gives Damon Kally*

Damon: Thank you. *holds her*

Nessie: I can't believe you're doing this.

Heartsbreak: I'm scared to but my daughter needs her father.

Damon: Don't be scared. I'll take good care of her *winks*

Heartsbreak: I'm going to drop!

Edward: Don't worry. I'll catch you. *smirks*

Heartsbreak: Ugh! *tries not to gag*

Nessie: He sickens me.

Everyone: He sickens ALL of us!

Edward: Fuck you all. At least I got Veronica.

Love, shoot him again please?

Heartsbreak: I'd love to. *Shoots Edward again*

Caroline: She has amazing aim.

Heartsbreak: In dealing with people like Edward, you learn a few things.

Bella: Thanks for getting rid of fagward.

Heartsbreak: You're next.

Bella: Oh fuck. *runs*

Heartsbreak: A very smart choice.

Bella: Thanks for getting rid of fagward.

Heartsbreak: You're next.

Bella: Oh fuck. *runs*

Heartsbreak: A very smart choice.

Damon: It's not smart to run from love.

Nessie: For once I agree with you.

Heartsbreak: I should go guys! I'll be back soon! Bye!

Nessie: Later Sis!

Damon: Bye love!

Katherine: *Gasp* A CLOWN!

Damon: WHERE! *Looks around*

Katherine: Pussy.

Damon: ...FUCK YOU!

FutureActressKS: I'm back!

Edward: WHY!

Future: Damon, I know it's been a LONG time since I've been on this fic, so catch me up on what I've missed. *kiss on Damon's cheek* Though I am no longer in love with you.

Katherine: *whisper* Lies!

Future: *Slaps Katherine* Yes I have moved on and found another. Edward, I love you!

Future: *Takes out the chainsaw* Not really did you really think time away would make me change my mind?

Edward: Yes...

Future: *slices head off* Anyone else wanna argue with me? *cough* Katherine *cough*

Katherine: I could totally beat you into a pulp.

Future: *shoves Katherine off cliff* To the author I have missed you dearly!

I've missed you too.

Katherine: You know she's lying.

Didn't she push you off a cliff.

Katherine: Please. That wicked bitch doesn't have anything on me.

...Sure. Why not?

Future: Besides Damon, who want's to be my bitch?

Tyler: I'll pass. You can take Jacob.

Jacob: Kiss my non shirt wearing ass!

Tyler: He's talking to you Katherine.

Damon: Why? In basically every chapter you were in you expressed your undying love for me.

Future: I got bored...

Stefan: *laughs*

Future: Now you, my favorite Salvatore, Stefan, you are seriously smoking hot!

Gir: WAFFLES

Future: *hands Gir a tower of waffles* Help yourself my darling!

Damon: You're just in denial.

Bonnie: Or Future has some taste.

Future: I'm just another fangirl to you, Damon. I need someone that loves me.

Damon: *Shrugs*

Future: *Hands roses to Stefan* You've always been kind to me.

Edward: She's a demon in disguise.

Stefan: I think she's adorable *kisses Future*

Tara: *Growls*

Future: I'm just a woman you can't handle, Damon.

Damon: *Rolls eyes* Just keep telling yourself that.

Gir: WAFFLES!

Damon: What about our child? The one you took with you when you left this fic.

Future: Since when would you care about fathering my baby, *takes out picture of baby Rachel to Chi* Isn't she adorable?

Aw! So cute.

Damon: You mean OUR child.

*Whispers* How many kids do this guy have?

Katherine: A thousand... do you have a kid?

Nope.

Katherine: Then a thousand.

Future: You want to be a part of her life, Damon, then prove it. if I recall you made fun of my singing (outside of this fic I do sing!).

Damon: Well...

Future: You were mean to me.

Damon: I thought it was cute.

Future: *Beats Damon down with a baseball bat* Lies!

Damon: You were my favorite, *takes Future's hands* I promise to never hurt you, ever.

Katherine: Pussy.

Damon: *Twitch*

Future: To Rogue: I don't know if I'm the only one but I don't quite believe him. Also Rogue, you've always been super sexy ;)

Damon: *babbles on with speech* The love of my life, my adorable kitten.

What about Pam?

Pam: *Holds a bat* Yeah. What about your wife.

Damon: ...

Future: Let go of me! Rogue wanna help me out here?

Damon: BUT I DO LOVE YOU!

Future: *biting lip* Well...

Stefan: Don't go back to him! I would never treat you the way he does. And I would let you sing all you want.

Tara: ...

Damon: You're just whipped, brother.

Stefan: Atleast Future chose me over you.

Future: Chi *sigh* how do you put up with this bunch?

Damon: Because you LOVE me!

Future: Shut up!

Stefan: A woman after my heart.

Edward: As much as I LOATHE.

Future: Big words now *rolls eyes*

Edward: shut it and let me finish! Ok as much as I loathe you, I think you need to listen to your heart and not what Damon tells you.

Damon : HEY! *gets slapped by Future*

Future: Go on, Edward! Edward: Damon doesn't deserve you.

Damon: Wise words from a sparkling fairy.

Edward: That's not what you mom said.

Damon: What?

Future: Chi, any ideas on who I should choose? My adorable Stefan or Damon.

*Looks around in terror* I feel like I'm going to be eaten!

Damon: I am adorable, too.

Bonnie: You're just an ass!

Future: I choose Stefan.

Gir: AWWWWWW now I want more waffles!

We should have a wedding! For Future and Stefan!

Tara: WHAT!

Oh ... shit.

Future: Damon isn't invited!

Damon: ...

Pam & Tara: You bitches better run.

Stefan & Damon: Fuck.

Katherine: About time. Let the blood shed begin!

/Three hours later/

*Low whistle*

Edward: I think I love you guys.

You will clean it up right?

Tara: Of coures.

Eric: It's scary when Tara and Pam agree on something.

Yep.

Dean: I found Stefan's head.

Wait oh yeah! I finally got too see the supernatural anime!

Sam: Was is good?

Okay Sam I admit to having a crush on you but your japanese self ... I wanted to screw you to death.

Dean: What about me?

You looked and sound like a douchebag.

Dean: ...

The anime was pretty good. Even though Sam shot himself.

Sam: Wait...what?

You have to watch it.

INMH: HA! I enjoyed that. The scene played out very amusingly in my head. :D!

Thanks.

Damon: Huh?

For the first chapter.

Damon: HUH?

...I will not follow for it.

Damon: NO REALLY CAN'T HEAR YOU. PAM TORE MY EARS OFF.

...Wow. Your gay.

Damon: Your a bitch.

O.o!

Eric: *Shakes head*

Tyler: Let's end this. I have a party to go to and Caroline wants to take me.

I wanna guy to take me somewhere.

Damon: Just find someone.

*Twitch* Well each time I do you always do something!

Damon: Well that's because...your an idiot.

Yeah. Thank you asshole.

Katherine: I have a baby to take care of and other junk that I really don't give a shit about.

Well I want to thank Rogue Assasin, Veronica Mars, Galvatron, HeartsBreakInLove, FutureActressKS, and INMH for reviews and thanks for reading!

Tyler: Peace!

Sam: Love!

Katherine: Let's get the fuck out of here.

Stefan you okay?

Stefan: *Spits out blood* I'm ... good.

Damon: Don't you dare find a guy!

Hey! I'm lonely.

Katherine: I know. You write this fanfic.

... I'm going to find Aiden! *Runs aways*

Damon: GET BACK HERE! *Runs after me*

Seth: Bull shit...I mean bye?


	84. Late, late, and more lateness

Shows They Can't Do Together!

X Factor

Damon:…

Stefan: At least you're not man 'Bella' anymore.

Simon: So are you two just going to stand here and bicker or will you sing?

Damon: It's you again.

Simon: …And you are?

Stefan: *Sigh*

Damon: She left me for this?

Stefan: … I'm not even going to pretend I understand this.

Simon: Please sing or get off my stage!

Damon: *Folds arms over his chest* That Chi-a-nerd left me for some hairy, wrinkly, British bastard, some old nut case…

Paula: Ha, ha, I like kittens that smell like rainbows!

Damon: A tall crybaby witch and some bitch that isn't even worth mentioning!

L.A.: Hey! I'm so worth mentioning!

Nicole: No you're not.

L.A.: Don't you have some crying to do?

Stefan: We can sing a song…

Damon: *Holds a hand out in front of Stefan* This is nothing but a more retarded version of American Idol and she chose to watch this crap over Vampire Diaries! For God's sake that theme song is a rip off!

Stefan: There's nothing really wrong with it.

Damon: … Grow a pair will ya?

Stefan: *Twitch*

Simon: Hello! You're wasting Pepsi's money while you're on stage!

Audiences: TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF WOOOO!

Damon: *Smirks* Fine. Stefan's right.

Stefan: … Oh shit.

Damon: I'll sing…. It's a real good song too.

Stefan: …*Runs off stage*

Nicole: *Smiles* What will you be singing honey?

Damon: *innocent smile* I will sing an old favorite. Kill, kill. Meet Mr. Stabby stab…in E minor.

Paula: Ha, ha, ha. *Nudges Simon with her elbow* I love this song.

Sound guy: *Plays the rock song and sighs* They don't pay me enough for this.

Damon: *Pulls out a Chain saw* LET'S DANCE!

Nicole: *Starts crying*

L.A.: *Knocks Nicole over and runs*

Simon: I have no soul!

Paula: So pretty!

Damon: *Slaps me*

Ow!

Damon: Sheesh! Do I need to put a leash on you or something?

If I've been bad.

Damon: …Never mind you sick pervert.

Like you can talk!

Katherine: Missing Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. You deserve to die.

I've missed you too Katherine.

Alice: I've dressed up this Halloween!

…As what?

Alice: *Smirks* You'll never know.

*Cries in the corner* I can't help it! I've just moved back to California!

Damon: *Kicks me* No excuses.

Pam: Let's just start the show why don't we?

Wait! Why don't next chapter be a celebration of all those Holidays and just other random stuff?

Stefan: Let's give it a funny name too!

Edward: The day Charity didn't miss doing a chapter for day!

*Blinks* You guys are not going to let me live this down.

Tyler: Not even in the Wolf corner.

Damon: What about "The day Chi died". Cause I can arrange for that.

…

Elena: What about "Happy Hallowthanksmas"?

I like it.

Katherine: Seems stupid.

Elena: Says the beached whale.

Katherine: Ha. Ha. I'll burn your hair.

Elena: If you can catch me.

Tyler: Kinda think she can catch you Elena.

Caroline: I agree.

Elena: So not helping you guys!

Dean: Let's start the show.

Ok.

Damon: Boo! Leather boy! You can your boyfriend sit down. We really don't need you anymore.

Dean & Sam: *Twitch*

INMH: HA! I enjoyed that. The scene played out very amusingly in my head. :D

That was for chapter one. Thanks!

Katherine: I thought it sucked.

Alice: No one cares Katherine.

FutureActressKS: *hugs Chi* Damon won't leave me alone!

Damon: Your fault not mine.

Pam: *Growls*

Tara: I hate you.

Future: Actually, I wasn't ever really interested in Stefan.

Stefan : HEY!

Future: It's because-

Damon: She loves me!

Pam: Your annoying *pokes Future*

Future: Consider the feeling mutual.

Damon: CAT FIGHT!

…. What is happening?

Elena: …I'm just going to sit back and relax.

Future: Don't make me make you sing again.

Damon: You can't keep this 'act' up forever.

Future: Yes, I can. *kisses Gir and hands him waffles*

Pam: Keep your hands off my man.

Future: I'm not after him *pets Stefan's hair*

Tara: *growl* You really want to die don't you?

Katherine: Now it's a party!

Elena: …

Future: Put the claws away ladies *smiles*

Katherine: I say we should all beat her up and throw her off the highest cliff, and then drown her, and then feed her to a tank of sharks.

Future: I love you, too, Katherine, though that's not what you told me last night.

Everyone: O.O

Damon: You and Katherine? You've got to be KIDDING me!

Future: I was lying.

Katherine: BITCH!

Future: Surely you'd know because you are one!

Katherine: And proud of it.

Edward: Marry me, Future.

Future: Why won't you just go die in a hell hole!

Edward: ouch...

Future: You haven't even felt the worse pain yet!

Bella: I'll help you.

Future: No thanks.

Edward: Traitor!

Jacob: I feel ignored.

Damon: That's because no one cares.

Future: I do!

Damon: *Hugs Future* Oh how I've missed you my little kitten. I still don't understand why you won't let me see our baby.

Future: Because I don't trust you...

Stefan: Why does my eyes burn?

Pam: *Smashes baseball bat over Future's head* DIE!

Katherine: *Hits Pam with her own baseball bat* Don't hurt her!

Pam: Why do you care!

Katherine: *twitch*

Jack: I WANT MY RUM!...Wait… I'm still here?

Future: Why do you have to ruin the mood? *hands Jack a case of rum*

Jack: Thank you, love *steals her away from everyone*

Future: Hands off!

Future: BOO!

Elena: BOO!

Future: *punches Elena*

Elena: OW!

Future: That's what you deserve!

Elena: What did I do?

Future: Everything.

Elena: That makes no sense.

Stefan: And that is why I broke up with you Elena.

Future: *Claps hands and light goes out*

Gir: *Strangles Damon in the dark*

Future: I love you GIR!

Damon: Demon robot dog!

Future: Don't hurt my Gir or else I refuse to talk to you anymore. Love you Gir*kisses Gir on head*

Damon: *Twitch*

Elena: You're weak, Damon...

Alice: *Eats popcorn* Drama.

*Eats popcorn* Yep.

Future: *Claps hands and lights turn back on*where did Edweirdo go?

Edward: HERE!

Future: Can't hear you. *Drops Edward in shark tank*

Eric: …*Places a hand out for popcorn*

Future: *sigh*

Damon: What?

Future: None of your business!

Stefan: Haha!

Katherine: I swear you all are children.

Future: Then teach me how to be like you, Katherine. *purrs*

Damon: Please don't.

Katherine: Why? Are you worried I'll destroy your little pet? *pets Future's head*

Future: Stop!

Katherine: *shoves Future away*

Damon: Don-!

Stefan: Whipped!

Damon: You have no right to tell me that, brother.

Stefan: *twitch*

Damon: I'm sure Tara would love a repeat of last chapter.

Stefan : What about Pam?

Pam: yeah, what about me? I'm YOUR wife, not your slave.

Future: Ohhhhhhh, if you ever get bored, Damon, I would gladly leave my bedroom window open for you.

Gir: LET's GET THIS PARTY STARTED! *music blares*

Future: MY EARS! Make it stop!

Gir: Let's do the WAFFLE dance! *pelvic thrusts*

Damon: O.O

Bella: And this is why drugs are bad for kids.

I don't see how this came to that conclusion but okay! Have fun with that.

Rogue Assasin: *A loud buzz is heard as Rogue Assasin parachutes out a plane and onto the set.*Hi Guys!

Caroline: Yo!

Rogue: LOL twilight huh - it's always good for laughs, why does Damon have to be Bella, can't he be Charlie would like to see him cope with Miss boring as a kid.

Damon: I would probably kill her and that would be the end of the story.

Stefan: *Nods* I would have just ran her over with my car.

Bella; Hey! Right here!

Damon & Stefan: Not caring!

Rogue: I am so fucking tired of all these Breaking Dawn trailers. I will NEVER pay money to watch Twilight again. I'd rather shoot myself.

I've seen it…it was …okay. I guess. Well I didn't pay for it.

Rogue: Anyone here going to watch Hobbit?

Damon: Looks good …I guess.

Rogue: I wish Twilight ended without strange half breeds. I wish Edward just ate Bella and was Killed by Carlisle out of disappointment - the end.

Edward & Bella: HEY!

Rogue: Yes Damon you Die from a tree falling on you - not just any tree a magic one it starts growing in you, it pierces your heart and the roots and stems start spreading throughout your body - sad sad scene.

Damon: …HOW THE HELL DO I GET KILLED BY A MAGIC TREE! *Fuming*

Rogue: In the fight with Eric and Pam not much blood was shed but the 2 of you did scratch and claw each other quite badly - Eric trained Pam well...

Pam: Wow. I'm badass.

Like you didn't know.

Pam: I knew.

Rogue: LOL - Ride you like a rodeo Stefan... you have some sick thoughts I wouldn't ride you even if Damon paid me.

Stefan: Same here.

Rogue: Pam would you screw Stefan?

Pam: Depends on if I need a girlfriend.

Rogue: How about you Kat? Caroline?

Katherine: Can I bite him?

Rogue: I don't care.

Katherine: Sure.

Stefan: Keep her away from me.

Rogue: Anyway Eric will always be my number one sorry Damon but Eric just has more everything than you and he's a 1000 years old to boot - imagine how amazing he would be in bed? Remember in season 3 when Sookie went into the dungeon to find out about Bill from Eric and all she found was Eric screwing his new stripper - yum... He has a really nice tight ass - I bet I could bounce quarters of it.

Eric: *Smirks*

Rogue: Anyway - catch you peeps later - I have work tomorrow and its pretty late.

Okay!

Damon: A tree. Really?

Stefan: At least it wasn't a pencil.

Caroline: That would suck to die that way.

Damon: But a tree. How is that better then a pencil.

Tyler: It's bigger.

Damon: …That's like comparing me to Stefan.

Katherine: Pfft. That's a lie.

Rogue: *Rogue walks in whistling 'moves like Jagger' with hands in pockets*

Edward: Why do I feel like someone walked over my grave?

Katherine & Elena: *Take 2 steps away from Rogue's path*

*Rogue walks up to Bella who is staring into Billy boys eyes*

Rogue: I missed this!

*Pam and Damon take out blood flavored popcorn and lawn chairs while Eric gets a camera*

Bill: Run Bella! Save yourself!

*Rogue cuts of Bill's head and shoves it up Bella's ass then cuts of his balls and makes Bella choke to death on them*

Damon: Creative!

Stefan: Disturbing

Leah: That's why I keep telling you not to go out the wolf corner Seth - Hey Tyler, Jacob why don't you guys go out there?

Tyler and Jacob: *Shake heads with wide eyes*

Rogue: *Busy incinerating pieces of Bella and Bill in a big bonfire*

Edward: Thank God that wasn't me!

Damon: Think again!

Rogue: *Starts carving Edward into a sparkly toilet with a chainsaw*

Castiel: *Covering Casterine's eyes* Interesting concept.

Katherine: Wish I thought of it first *Looks at Chi* Naah it would never work.

John: *Holding his chest and gasping* If you don't mind my asking where do you plan on installing the sparkly toilet?

Rogue: Oh I'm just replacing Chi's toilet with this sparklepire one

Damon: Gratefully we vampires don't need to use a bathroom.

Eric, Pam, Stefan, Katherine: *nod*

Rogue: Hey daddy John... Sam isn't just a hermaphrodite... He's pregnant... by Dean... congrats Grandpa John!

*Evil laugh is heard as Rogue disappears in thick dark mist*

Poor guy.

Sam: It's not true!

Pam: Sure it is.

Veronica Mars: Hello Again!

Hi!

Veronica: Oh Edward why are people so mean to you!

Damon: Because he's a douche.

Edward: Ha, ha. Not funny.

Veronica: It just makes me so angry! Why can't they see your pretty sparkles and golden eyes.

Damon: Because he's too glitterly!

Damon!

Damon: *Shrugs*

Veronica: I wish I could run away with Edward.

Elena: we can arrange that.

Veronica: By the way Rogue is my older cousin, she's probably going to kick my ass after this... she always kicks my ass, but my love for Edward will never die!

Stefan: *Sighs* I feel really, really sorry for you. I really, really do.

Nessie: Hey, everybody

Alice: Hey Ness

HeartsBreak: Hey sis.

Katherine: *sarcastically* Great Nessie's here

Nessie: Look Katherine, I already don't like you but try not to get any farther my bad side. I have not yet classified you as an enemy and believe me you might want to keep it that way because as an enemy I can be scarier than as a vampire

Katherine: I'll keep that in mind

Damon: Hey Nessie you're here!

Nessie: *rolls eyes* Stay away from me Damon.

Chi: Don't try anything Damon you know she doesn't like you

Damon: *smirks*

Nessie: *rolls her eyes and turns to HeartsBreak* Ok can I have Kalista now please?

HeartsBReak: Sure *gives Kalista to Nessie*

Chi: So what's new Ness?

Nessie: Nothing much. I'm going to audition for my school play.

Alice: Cool. What play?

HeartsBreak: Suessical - The Musical.

Nessie: Yeah...I'm probably going to try out for the part of

JoJo. The monologue I have to memorize is... *takes a deep

breath* I can't say that in front of people!

HeartsBreak: Anyways, I'm going shopping. See you later

Nessie: Bye Love.

*a couple hours later*

Bonnie: Hey

Nessie: Hey, Bon

Bonnie: You're really good with kids

Nessie: Heartsbreak and I have 3 brothers and a sister who is two. With kids I'm patient but people not so much.

Chi: Bonnie loves calling you

Bonnie: Coming

Damon: Can I have my daughter please?

Nessie: No

Damon: Why?

Nessie: I don't want to give her to you?

Damon: She's my daughter!

Nessie: She's my niece!

Chi: Oh my god they're fighting again!

Alice: For the seventh time in the last 2 hours!

Bonnie: Tenth. They fought 3 more times while you were gone.

Alice: I was only gone for 5 minutes

Damon: I have a claim to her!

Nessie: You have as much claim to her as you do to my sister!

Stefan: Who's turn is it to step in this time!

Chi: No idea but not me.

Jacob: Really they're doing this again

Seth: Damon's an ass. You really can't blame her for always getting mad at him

Damon: *takes Kally from Nessie*

Nessie: Give her back Damon

Heartsbreak: As soon as Kalista is out of his hands she is going to kill him

Kally: *cries*

Nessie: Damon give her to me

Damon: No

Chi: Well Damon was never the smartest.

Katherine: Damon has no brain!

Nessie: *growls ferociously*

*Chi, Katherine, Stefan, Bonnie Alice, Seth jump and Damon flinched*

Heartsbreak: Yeah when she gets pissed she acts like a vampire. Damon is the first person EVER to single handedly piss her off

Katherine: Okay maybe I don't want to classify her as an enemy

Jacob: Nessie's sexy when she's pissed

Heartsbreak: Sis calm down.

Nessie: *breathes* Damon give me Kally

Stefan: Maybe someone should step in now?

Damon: *Holds Kalista away from Nessie which only makes her cry louder*

Nessie: DAMON!

Stefan: Okay I have to step in before Damon gets killed

*Damon turns to face Stefan and Nessie takes, the now screaming Kalista from Damon in his moment of distraction*

Nessie: Shh it's okay Kally. *starts singing a song and Kally instantly stops crying* that's your moms favorite song too

Heartsbreak: Stand by your side. Of course.

Nessie: Works everytime doesn't it love? *gives Kally to Stefan*

Damon: You're a bitch

Nessie: I know. Some may even say it's...sexy *turns to Jacob and winks*

Chi: Wo way to get that thrown back in your face Damon

Neesie: I can be nice, and I will be nice if you change. This "I hate the world" shit does not fly with me.

Damon: And you promise to be nice?

Nessie: It's my deal so if I said I will then I will. That doesn't mean I like you though. And my being nice doesnt start today. *turns and walks away just a Damon screams*

Chi: Vervain and electric eels

Heartsbreak: *laughs* Okay, ouch.

Alice: Nice combination!

Stefan and Bonnie: That's gotta hurt.

Nessie: Yeah I planned that before the deal was made plus I did say it doesn't start today, so you can still kill me so... Bye! *runs out after kissing Jacob on the cheek*

Jacob: BYE!

Tyler: Go away. *Pushes Jacob*

Leah: *Sighs*

Breakfastclub85: Man, long time no see peeps! I can't believe my stupid self missed the last couple chapters! Grr. Anyways I just have to say that Dean and I are the best couple...even though our marriage is a result of too many purple nurples and an Elvis impersonating pastor.

Katherine: Haha.

Breakfast: - Sam: PUPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYY! *clings to* Oh how I've missed you my little bitch. Now, dress up like Britney Spears and sing Criminal. But then you must run around yelling in a Spanish accent "Hannah is my master." Then get a tramp stamp with my name on it. You must do all of it or I'll chop your balls off, stick them in a jar, and give them to Pam to eat.

Sam: No. I refuse.

Katherine: I was hoping he said that but I don't think he has balls anymore. But have fun with him anyways.

Sam: NO!

Breakfast: Seth you are so adorable! *whispers* If Dean doesn't watch out, I may have to leave him for you. *wink*

Dean: *Glares at Seth* Wolfy bastard.

Breakfast: - Jasper: Oh Jasper. You are utterly sexy and I feel as though you are slowly stealing my heart with your sexy southern gentleman vampire ways. Sing me a tune, and hold me while you do it!

Alice: Unless he wants to die, he better not.

Jasper: But I don't…

Alice: *Evil look*

Jasper: Shit.

Breakfast: - Katherine: I really love the way you make your boobs look in every outfit! Tips?

Elena: Wear a lot of blood and makeup.

Katherine: Ha. Ha. *Slams Elena's head against the wall*

Breakfast: - Edward: Why didn't you sparkle at all in Breaking Dawn?

Edward: The sparkle guy quit. Saying that he could take being looked at like a meal anymore.

Breakfast: -Castiel: Are you still in love with me? Because I find you rather attractive even though you never change clothes.

Castiel: *Smirks*

Katherine: *Shrugs* Have at him.

Breakfast: - Elena: How's it going whore? Which Salvatore are you in love with now?

Elena: Why can't I just love both?

That's two timing.

Elena: Not when it comes to love.

I bet a lot of guys say that.

Breakfast: - Dean: My love, I feel as though we need to take a trip to the fabulous back room ;D

Dean: Yeah!

Breakfast: - Stefan: Did you know that Elena has seen your brother naked? You two should fight over it...shirtless...and in mud.

Stefan: I have Tara now. So you can have her now Damon.

Elena: Hey! I cleaned up my act… a little.

Caroline: not even close.

Breakfast: - Chi: Hey girl hey. You are just too awesome. Someday you should bring Bruce Wayne/Batman on here for me. He is just too damn sexy in Batman Begins and The Dark Knight.

Sure!

Breakfast: -Dean: So husband, that Lisa bitch is out of your life right? Otherwise shit is going down.

Dean: Yeah. She's gone.

Breakfast: Good. Peace, Stay Gold, Save Ferris 

Sorry for being gone too long but I had a lot of things going on. Like typing this story in 30 mins before my bus comes. I love you guys a miss you so much. I like to thank IMHN, FutureActressKS, Rogue Assasin, Veronica Mar, nessie, Heartsbreak, and breakfastclub85 for the review. Thanks for reading. Peace.

Katherine: Chocolate.

Elena: And a bitch named Katherine.

Everyone: …

Katherine: you're dead.

…Bye!


	85. Happy ThanksHalloChristNewValPat's Day!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

The Cleveland Show!

Damon: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!

Stefan: *Rocking a corner holding his ears* MAKE IT STOP! MOMMY MAKE IT STOP!

Cleveland: I just told a joke. *Looks at the two*

Donna:They look like...

Damon: *Crazy eyes* Do another fucking horrid joke again and I will go postal!

Cleveland: *Mumbles* You don't have to be a dick about it.

Rallo: Are we gonna do an exorcism? ... Tie them on Roberta's bed.

Roberta: *Gasp* Where am I gonna sleep then, huh?

Rallo: On the corner in that little red dress you hid in a box under your bed.

Donna: ROBERTA!

Roberta: I'm just as surprised as you are!

Damon: ... *Looks at Cleveland Jr.* You look like a Big Mac on legs kids.

Cleveland Jr.: Thanks?

Stefan: He does look good.

Damon: Thought you was on the True Blood?

Stefan: Fuck that. I'm a bad boy now.

Cleveland: You are just as bad as...

Damon: If you cut into a flash back I'll kill you.

Rallo: ...I'd choose a bat.

Cleveland: I thought we were cool.

Rallo: That's just because I have to live with you.

Cleveland Jr. : I feel like Paris Hilton in church. *Starts shaking *

Cleveland: Having your flesh burn off?

Damon: * Tackles Cleveland* That's it!

Stefan: … I'm really, really hungry.

Cleveland Jr. : * Tries to run away but gets tired when he reaches the door*

Rallo: The front door is like a few feet away.

Cleveland Jr. : *** **Clutches his shirt * Too … far...

Damon: Really? Fat jokes?

Stefan: Like show sucks.

Damon: But I'm not that picky about food.

* * *

One the first day of ThanksHalloChristNewValPat's day my true love gave to me!

Damon: A dead ass writer named Chi.

*Gasp *

Katherine: Shut up shorty.

*Sits in a corner *

Sam: On the second day of ThanksHalloChristNewValPat's day my true love gave to me!

Katherine: Two wolf spray. *Holds her nose *

Tyler: HEY! The wolf corner doesn't smell.

Caroline: We kinda need air fresher.

Tyler: Really?

Caroline: Sorry. *Coy smile *

Damon: And a dead ass writer named Chi.

Aw.

Dean: On the third day of ThanksHalloChristNewValPat's day my true love gave to me!

Eric: LMFAO.

Pam: Eric...that's not three of anything.

Eric: I'm sexy and I know it. *Starts Dancing *

All the girls: This is the best day ever!

Damon: I feel like I'm going to puke.

Sam: *Drools *

Eric: * Takes off his shirt and blows a kiss to Tyler *

Tyler: GET BACK TO THE DAMN SONG!

Eric: *Smirks *

Katherine: Two wolf sprays.

Damon: And a dead ass writer named Chi.

Seth: On the four day of ThanksHalloChristNewValPat's day my true love gave to me!

Bella: Four Breaking dawn Tickets.

Elena: You mean Hunger games tickets.

Bella: ...No, twilight!

Elena: ...But...

Bella: Shut up!

Eric: Three shirtless mes … for Tyler!

Caroline: *Growls *

Katherine: Two air freshener.

Leah: You got something to say!

Alice: Oh dear.

Damon: And a dead ass writer named Chi.

Pam: On the fifth day of whatever the hell this made up holiday my true love gave to me.

Katherine: Five dead bitches. * Looks at Leah, Elena, Bella, Alice and me *

Leah: BRING IT!

Alice: YEAH!

Elena: What the hell did I do this time?

Katherine: You're breathing my air bitch.

…

Bella: Four movie tickets.

Eric: Three shirtless mes.

Katherine: …

Alice: Why does she have two lines in the song?

Leah: Let's just beat the shit out of her!

Damon: I thought I was violent.

You still are.

Damon: *** **Kicks me * You have no say here.

Caroline: On the six day of ThanksHalloChristNewValPat's day my true love gave to me!

Elena: The very end of this song!

Why so short?

Elena: *Points at Katherine, Alice and Leah *

NO BLOOD ON THE CARPET!

Katherine: *** **Tackles Alice *

Leah: *Kicks Katherine in the head *

….

Katherine: YOU PULLED MY HAIR!

Elena: I think I see her skull.

Alice: HA! HA! BITCH! *Holds Katherine's scalp in her bloody hands *

Bella: Four movie ticket's.

Eric: *Laughs and eats popcorn *

Katherine: BOTH OF YOU ARE DEAD! *Fire sets behind her *

Edward: Why don't you go fight with them Bella?

Bella: Bite me.

Stefan: Chi's dying on the carpet.

*Foams at the mouth and balled up on the ground * My precious!

Dean: *Sighs * Let's just start the show.

Damon: *Points me with a stick * You okay?

Just let me die in peace...MY PRECIOUS!

Jacob: Looks like we need a minute.

*Demon voice * HOW DARE YOU DESTORY MY ROOM!

Stefan & Dean: Oh shit.

RAAAAAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRR!

Damon: Can we shot her?

Caroline: NO!

Damon: Damn it.

?An Hour Later?

Damon: *Slowly Claps * You... are all... stupid.

Bella: Shut up Damon, you were no help.

Damon: I kicked her in the knee. I think that was help.

Elena: ...Sure.

Sam: Let's just have some fun now. Looks like some people need it.

Eric: Sorry for hitting you.

It's okay...you can do it again.

Eric: What?

Nothing.

Damon: *Twitch * Perverted bitch.

FutureActressKS: *Kisses Gir* Hi my little buddy! My fav!

Gir: Waffles?

Future: *Sigh*why can't you just say you love me back, Gir.

Gir: Waffles?

Damon: You're stupid *Knocks Gir upside the head*

Future: Don't do that! I love him!

Damon: How come you defend him and not me?

Future: Because he's my lover.

Damon: That is stupid!

Future: I hate you

Katherine: You're my bitch

Future: No I am not!

Katherine: Why can't you just admit you're Damon obsess-

Future: *Cuts off her head with sword* Anyone wanna turn? *Kisses Stefan's cheek*

Bella: Edward said he wants a turn!

Edward: I liked the Bella in the book.

Future:*Kisses Eric* I really don't like you. *slams his head against the wall* plus I am so bored! I love new playtoys! *cuts him into little pieces, stomps on the pile of body parts, sets what is left on fire, and then throws the ashes at Edward* I believe you are next Edweirdo!

...I think that just kinky for him, in a way.

Katherine: *Pat's her short hair * You're a dumbass.

And you're mean!

Katherine: And your mother's a whore.

HEY! My mom isn't a whore...she's a psychotic, crazy, scary, and is the devils mistress. Not a whore.

Damon: Pfft. *Starts laughing *

Edward: *Cries like a girl and runs away* Get away from me!

Future: I want your blood on my hands!.

Katherine: That was hot

Damon: What did you say?

Katherine: Nothing.

Pam: You have the hots for this THING *Yanks Future by the hair*

Future: HELL TO THE NO! *Kicks Pam in the stomach

Pam: You little whor-

Edward: *Stares at Pam* Stop the violence

Future: Go away Edward!

Edward: I just wanna help!

Gir:...

Future: You're stupid Edweirdo!

Pam *Strangles Future*

Damon: NO! *Tackles Pam and Future crawls away*

Leah: Why can't she just kill Katherine. No one wants her here.

Katherine: Shut up!

Leah: Don't make be go furry on your ass again. Next time I'll rip that ugly face off and wipe my ass because I'll get indigestion if I eat it!

Tyler: That's the most I ever heard her talk.

Leah: SHUT UP!

…

JoJo Meinne: HOLLA! I'm a new reader...and I have just like read the whole thing for 2 weeks...I think your a great,great writer Chi! I'm still processing the story with my head so this is how far it goes but to make this review official...

*Blushes * Thank you so much!

Damon: Don't give her a bigger head Jojo. She'll end up looking like a lollipop.

Alice: *Laughs *

*Sticks tongue out *

Jojo: I dare Stefan to ask you ( CHARITY ) to go w/ him to the back room :-)) And DAMON YOU CANNOT FLIP OUT...

Damon: I will not flip out. That's stupid. You're stupid...I'll kill you Stefan.

Stefan: Haven't been in the backroom in a while. Wanna go?

Is Tara okay with that?

Stefan: We're on a break.

You heard that she had a girlfriend.

Damon: He cried like a bitch for a year.

Stefan: Let's go in the backroom Chi. *Smirks *

Okay! *Goes in the backroom *

Stefan: Haha! *Follows me *

Pam: You know you're married right Damon.

Damon: *Fumes in the corner* Little bitch...

/Hour later/

Damon: You mean sixty seconds later.

Huh?

Alice: I'm so bored!

HeartsBreak: You're a vampire you have the whole world of possibilities. Find something.

Chi: Hey look Nessie's here. *Pulls shirt down *

Damon: ….

Lovatic: Hey everyone. So how are you guys?

Bonnie: The wolves are out. Fagward's gone...thank God!We're bored

Edward: I'm right here! Pay attention to me!

Lovatic: Wow they really didn't leave us anything to do.

Alice: Not quite, Katherine's here.

Katherine: Did someone call me?

Lovatic: *Takes a deep breath* Hi Katherine. How are you?

Katherine: What's wrong with Nessie?

HeartsBreak: What she means to say is no, Katherine, no one called you. Why would we. We're bored not desperate. Seeing you would just make me want to kill myself.

Katherine: That sounds more like her.

Lovatic: I'm trying...just trying not to kill her *smiles*

Damon: Hi Nessie.

Lovatic: What?

Damon: Remember the deal Nessie.

Lovatic: Right. Hi Damon.

Alice: Oh that was a hard one.

HeartsBreak: Oh yeah she really wants to cuss him off right now.

Lovatic: I'm fine.

HeartsBreak: Wow you're really trying to...

Lovatic: Damon, are you holding Kalista?

Damon: Yeah, for the past like three hours.

Lovatic: *jaw drops in shock* Three hours?

Alice: He really took what you said seriously. He's trying to get more involved in Kalista's life.

Lovatic: Wow. Really?

Rosalie: Nessie you can make anyone do what you say, haven't you noticed?

Bonnie: The beauty queen emerges.

*Rosalie rolls her eyes*

Lovatic: I don't believe that

Rosalie: Ok fine. An ass like Damon just needs someone to use the right amount of force and the right words to get him to change.

Lovatic: And you know this how?

Rosalie: I'm the beauty queen not the ice queen.

Where did she come from?

Pam: Just watch the show hon.

Jacob: Don't be to sure about that because I can witness that you are both. Hey Ness.

Lovatic: Hey Jake. Hey Seth.

Chi: So did you make it into the play?

Lovatic: Yeah. I'm in the chorus. A Who of Whoville in casting terms. It's so much fun. The cast is amazing.

HeartsBreak: Yeah, you're always talking about...

Lovatic: Shut up, Love.

Edward: Why is everyone so quiet?

Bonnie: And the moment is ruined.

Rosalie and Alice: Faggot brother always appears when no one wants you. Typical.

HeartsBreak: He's just itching to die. *slowly and hesitantly reaches behind her for a loaded machine gun, and bottle of kerosene and and lighter*

Lovatic: *slowly with no emotion* Hi, Edward

*Everyone gasps and looks at Nessie shocked*

HeartsBreak: Wow, you really are trying to fulfill your promise/goal.

Alice: What goal?

Lovatic: I made a goal to be nice to everyone...including the ones who hate me or annoy me or I don't like AT ALL! It's to help me get along better with my cast.

HeartsBreak: Or in order to...

Lovatic: Yo goddess of witches SHUT UP!

HeartsBreak: *coughs* B.L

Lovatic: I'm so gonna kill you.

Jacob: Who's B.L?

Lovatic: *shoots HeartsBreak a death glare* No one? Honestly Jake, just one of my friends.

Jacob: Fine *leaves*

Chi: Who is it really?

Lovatic: Tell you when we are safely away from all of the guys.

Katherine, Rosalie and HeartsBreak: *turn to the guys* Get lost.

All of the guys: No.

Katherine, Rosalie and HeartsBreak: GET LOST! Before you DIE!

*All of the guys leave*

HeartsBreak: She has a crush on the leading guy.

Lovatic: Really? Thanks for stealing my spotlight and my secret.

Alice: Oh my gosh Nessie!

Lovatic: It doesn't help that the leading girl basically HATES me. Life sucks. Oh well, I just have to put up with it and her.

Chi: You go girl. Don't let anybody get you down, or steal your moment.

Lovatic: Thanks girls. I've gotta go.

HeartsBreak: Bye sis.

The rest of the girls: Later Nessie!

Future: Loser

Elena: That's what you are!

Katherine: O.O

Future: Want to join Edweirdo and Eric into my club of 'fun'

Elena: BITCH!

Future: *Chases Elena around with an ax*

Rogue Assasin: Happy New Year everyone! *Rogue smiles and carries over presents* I come bearing gifts!

Caroline: Yay! Me first, me first!

Rogue: This pink one is yours.

Caroline: *opens box and looks at Rogue confused* A studded collar?

Rogue: Yeah for your new pet *Rogue smirks at Tyler and shares wicked grin with Caroline* The blue one is for Pam.

Pam: These pumps are gorgeous

Damon: And I plan on seeing you wearing nothing but them tonight

Eric: Spare me...

Rogue:Stefan this here pink one if for you

Stefan: *Pulls out garden shears*

Rogue: For that hideous unibrow

Damon: Where is mine!

Rogue: It's the black box with red hearts

Damon: I like it, I like it a lot!

Chi: What is it?

Damon: A new whip, handcuffs, and a paddle *Damon smirks at Pam*

Rogue: This Yellow box is for Chi.

Chi: Thank you *Opens box and passes out*

Alice: *Looks in box* It's Len, chained up, gagged and naked.

Heh! Heh! Heh! *Drools * I really love you!

Damon: *Slaps his forehead *

Rogue: This one is for Jacob.

Jacob: Speedo's you got me a box of speedos?

Rogue: Yes and from now on you will wear nothing but speedos and flip flops.

Jacob: Should I go to the dressing room to change.

Rogue: NO! Right here will do fine.

Eric: How about my gift?

*Rogue ties a ribbon around her neck* why it's right here

*Eric throws Rogue over shoulder and goes to the backroom*

Stefan: … I hate my gift.

Edward: At least you got one.

Damon: It would probably be a bomb or someway of killing you.

Edward: …

Stefan: I love my gift.

Jacob: My ass cheeks are just out there!

Katherine: My new sex slave!

Jacob: O.o.

Veronica Mars: *Looks around* I hope Rogue isn't around *shivers*.

Probably ten hours before she comes back.

Veronica: Edward! *Veronica jumps on Edward and gives him a HUUUUUUUUGE hug* I missed you so very much, you don't want to know what my cousin did to me :(

Edward:*Blushes *

Bella: Pfft.

Veronica: She's evil, she'll probably torture me again - She made me watch Vampires suck over and over again! That movie is an insult to twilight! It should be burned!

*Rogue bitch slaps me*

Rogue: More like you should be burned for using my PC again. Catch you later peoples I have a rodent called Veronica to exterminate... Here Ronnie Ronnie...

Everyone: O.O...Wow.

Well it's the end of the show and I'm happy to be back! And I can finally say that because I have a laptop! I'm finally 21 years old. March 5 was my birthday and I was super happy to have my Oreo cake and have my fun. I want to thank FutureActressKS, jojo meinne, LovaticNessie4EverUnbroken, Rogue Assasin, and Veronica Mars for the reviews and thanks for reading! Peace!

Alice: Love!

Katherine: And a drumstick.

Huh?

Katherine: That's what you remind me of.

...Pfft.

Stefan: Bye guys.

Damon: *Smirks * Let's use your gift. *Holds up garden shreds *

Stefan: *Takes a step back *

Damon: I'm just being brotherly Stefan.

Stefan: *Runs *

Damon: *Chases after him *

Pam: Thin he's mad?

Yep.

Alice: Bye guys. See you soon!

Damon: I love you little brother! *Tries to cut Stefan's head off *

Stefan: NEVA!


	86. A trip to planet Vampire

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Futurama!

Professor: We have a delivery today!

Leela: We always have a delivery. What makes it different from other missions, huh, being less dangerous?

Professor: Don't be ridiculous. All of your missions will be dangerous.

Fry: I wonder where we've going now?

Bender: I don't care. As long as I can kick some bastard in the face, ha, ha.

Professor: … Anyways were going to the planet...of the VAMPIRE!

*Music plays * Da, Da, Daaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Professor: BENDER!

Bender: What? It called for it.

Amy: Who are these two? *Winks at Damon *

Professor: These two are the Salvatore brothers...

Damon: If you can call us that.

Stefan: Shut up.

Leela: And why are we going to the planet of vampires...when most of us are humans.

Bender: Bwhahaha. You guys are screwed.

Fry: Is it the spanklely vampires or the one who rip your face off.

Leela: I think they are still at war over that.

Fry: Really...there's a war?

Amy: Yeah. They call it War of Fangs...or was it the War of the Bloodless.

Fry: If it's a planet of vampires where do they get there blood?

Professor: From us.

Damon: Why are we here...*Looks at Zoidberg* is there a pink lobster?

Stefan: *Shrugs * These things don't surprise me anymore.

Bender: Hey new guys!

Damon: * Twitch * What?

Bender: You can both bite my shiny metal ass.

Damon: ...Great. When can we leave?

Professor: Right now!

* * *

Damon: Make him stop.

Bender: Ninety nine bottles of beer on the way, ninety bottles of beer, take one down, pass it to me, then I get drink and kill three humans. Haha.

Stefan: …

Leela: So...Damon...right.

Damon: Yep.

Leela: How did Professor drag you and your brother...

Damon: He's my pet poodle.

Stefan: HEY!

Damon: Sorry...Vamp Poodle.

Stefan: *Tackles Damon *

Damon: Stop trying to feel me up!

Stefan: *Kicks Damon in the face * DIE!

Fry: Wait, he said vamp poodle...I didn't think they existed!

Leela: … *Slaps her forehead *

Bender: Sixty bucks on the brown haired one...Hey Fry can I borrow sixty bucks?

Leela: Their Vampires stupid.

Fry: ...*Screams *

Stefan & Damon: *Stops fighting and stares at Fry *

Leela: Fry can you please stop?

Fry: *Screams *

Bender: *Plugs up ears * Shut it Fry! Before I throw this semi empty...*Takes a drink out of the bottle he's holding * this empty bottle over your head and toss you in space!

Fry: *Screams *

Damon: *Stands up and walks over to Fry * I won't drink your blood. I don't want to catch your stupid.

Fry: *Backs away and still screams *

Damon: *Grabs Fry's head and slams it against the window *

Fry: *Out cold *

Stefan: Sorry about my brother.

Leela: *Sighs * It's for the best.

Bender: I should have done it. Oh Leena you own my sixty bucks.

Leela: Agea.

* * *

Fry: Where are we?

Leela: On the Planet of the Vampires.

Fry: *About to scream but Leela covers his mouth with her hands *

Leela: Don't. Just. Don't.

Stefan: How did we get stuck carrying these?

Damon: Should have played rock, paper, scissors better bitch.

Stefan: Dick. *Carries out boxes *

Leela:You know he doesn't have to work right. That'swhy we have the droids for.

Damon: If you spoil him he'll get a bigger head. *Drinks a beer *

*Ten minutes later*

Stefan: *Walks back in covered in blood *

Leela: Huh? What …

Stefan: *Holds a hand up * ...Don't ask. *Wipes blood off him * Sloppy bastards.

Bender: Who in the hell calls a time out in a war. I've come for blood shed people not mopey, pale vampires bitching. I want to be in entertained! What happened to the face ripping off with fangs.

Damon: For once we're on the same page. Wanna go show them a really war?

Bender: I don't think...yes. Let's show them hell!

Damon & Bender : *Charges outside *

Leela: I think we should leave them here.

Stefan: I agree.

Fry: You're not going to eat me... right?

Stefan: ...No.

Fry: *Gasp * I've never been so insulted.

Stefan: O.O?

Leela: *Shakes her head * Why do I love him?

* * *

Damon: Best. Day. Ever.

I bet it was.

Katherine: War? Fuck no. You should have brought me so I could show them real hell!

Alice: *Smiles * All you have to do is show your face and them would have seen it.

Katherine: Aw thank you, you bitch pixie.

Alice: When are you going to die.

Katherine: You'll know, because I'll drag you, and that bitch with me. *Points to me *

What did I do now?

Katherine: Move it flea. The one behind you.

Flea?

Sam: Don't worry. I've been called worst.

Elena: I really don't care.

Lena: I want to go home.

Jacob: Why did you even show up then.

Lena: Because I want to see that bitch burn.

…

Stefan: *Sits on a couch *

When we get that?

Stefan: From Bonnie. She threw it at Damon.

Damon: ...At least I can say I look after my kids.

Stefan: And piss off their mom.

When are we ever gonna see them again. They were so cute.

Damon: It's probably going to take awhile.

Dean: What happened to badass Damon?

Damon: Shut your face catcher.

Hmm. I wonder if the Delena fans are pissed at me.

Alice: When aren't they?

*Nervous laugh * I can't help what happens in the story. The reviews make it more interesting.

Damon: *Throws a cup at me *

Ow!

Damon: Closest thing I could find.

...Asshole. But now I think of it I'm more of a Damon fan. Doesn't matter who he's paired up with. From Bonnie, Elena, to Stefan...

Stefan: *Evil eye *

It's true! I can see angry sex brewing somewhere in there.

Stefan: *Flips me off *

Sam: We should start the show. Yep.

Why don't I have any reviews in a different language.

Damon: One, their reading something better and two, you would be too lazy to translate.

I would...

Damon: *Stares me down *

*Sighs * Let's start the show.

Damon: Thought so.

What are you my mother in law?

Damon: I'll kick your ass.

So mean. Bitch.

Damon: What?

Nothing.

Future: Damon...

Damon: Huh?

Future: DAMON!

Damon: WHAT?

Katherine: Get a mint.

Damon: You don't matter bitch.

Future: I hate you, though not more than Edweirdo. *Swings axe in hand*

Edward: ...*Runs away * Where is all my fangirls at?

Their behind the red rope.

Edward: Why?

They tried to kill Damon and Stefan a few times and they are kinda like the main characters on this show.

Stefan: *Laughs *

Damon: I talk more on this part of the show anyways.

Dean: *Gags *

Damon: *Kicks Dean *

Future: Stefan, you're my favorite from now on.

Stefan: Wait...what?

Future: I WILL RULE THE WORLD! *long awkward silence* I know random, but I guess you can't expect less from me.

….

Alice: Looks like someone had too many cookies.

Future: Who wants to be my bitch? or my personal assistant?

Caroline: Edward does!

Edward: Nope. I haven't died in a while, so I'm not going to press my luck.

Future: Bella...watching paint dry is more exciting than you.

Elena: Ain't that true?

Bella: Why don't you shut up you two timing whore.

Elena: Like you can talk.

Bella: Bring it on!

Elena: *Jumps Bella *

Jacob: Ten bucks on the brown haired one.

Jacob...they both got brown hair.

Jacob: It just shows that I win no matter who what.

Seth: *Slaps forehead *

Future: I am so totally over Damon...no lies here. Damon's just not as sexy, or appealing like he used to be since he married that...thing.

Pam: Aren't you adorable. I bet you would become more pretty if you were headless. *Smiles *

Future: I can beat your ass.

Pam: Not even on your best days dear.

Future: *singing* I got you in the palm of my hand, wanna put something hot in you, so hot that you can't stand...that you can't stand...gonna take you to my lips, empty out every less drop, so thirsty for what's in ya baby that I can't stop...that I can't stop. In the middle of the night I'm in bed alone, don't care if your glass, paper, Styrofoam, when I need some water baby, coffee, or gin...you're the only thing I wanna put them in. *claps* my cup, my cup, saying what's up to my cup, my cup more of a friend *puppy magically appears* than a silly pup, my cup, you know what it is saying what's up to my come. ahhhh. saying what's up to my . saying what's up to my cup ahhhh.

Tyler: If you see dog poo just know that it was the dog...who pooed over there.

So gross.

Future: PARTY TIME *collapses on Damon*

Pam: *Pushes Future away *

Future: Woopsy daisy.

Katherine: Can I eat her?

Future: Back off bitch. *Hiccups *

You never asked before.

Katherine: *Shows fangs *

Future: *Slaps Katherine *

Everyone: ….O.o?

Future: *hiccup* where's the gin? where's my cup? *hiccup* where's my puppy? *Accusing stare at Stefan*

Stefan: I didn't eat your puppy.

Future: Damon,get me a kitten, I wanna name it...Damon.

Damon: I'm not getting you a kitten because Stefan will eat it.

Stefan: *Flips Damon off *

Damon: Go tell Sam that princess.

Future: Has anyone told you how gorgeous you are, Damon? *Holding a half empty bottle of wine*

Damon: Everyday of my life.

Dean & Stefan: *Gag *

Future:No, I didn't mean that. *hiccup* Let's play spin the bottle?

Oh god no.

Damon: ….

Future: On second thought, no, let's play Truth or Dare!

Future: But Edweirdo isn't allowed to play.

Edward: *Sits in the corner * I hate this.

Tyler: Get out of the wolves corner!

Edward: You can't claim all four corners!

Tyler: Oh yes we can!

….

Damon: Since they are all idiots I'll start the game. Chi dork truth or dare?

Can I not play this game.

Damon: Back out and die.

Truth please!

Damon: How many guys have you been with on the show?

Do I...

Damon: *Growls *

*Counts on fingers * I don't know seven through ten? Maybe?

Damon: Slut.

You've been with more people then me jerk!

Alice: Can we start with another people please?

Damon: After she tells me who all she's been with!

Pam save me.

Edward: Truth or Dare...

Tyler: *Picks up a car and throws it at Edward * Get out of our corner!

Edward: *Dodges *

Future: We're suppose to play a game.

Katherine: *Pushes Alice *

Alice: *Slaps Katherine *

Katherine: * Tackles Alice *

We're playing Truth or Dare, not all out grudge match!

Stefan: *Hits Damon with a chair *

…...

Bella & Elena: *Roll around and pulling each others hair *

===Three hours...seven hours later=====

Future: La la la la la la la la la la la la la. so bored now.

Edward: My face hurts.

Future: DON'T TELL ME TO SHUT UP EDDIE! *sets Edward on fire and watches him cry and run around like a scared little girl* pathetic peace of...*passes out next to Damon*

Damon: I'm confused.

Future: Don't touch me bitch!

Damon: …

Future: I demand 50 kittens in a basket, and no one is allowed to eat them or gamble them.

Stefan: Aw.

Damon: ...

Future: *purrs*

Kathrine: Did you really have to pull my hair out again?

Alice: Stop being a dick.

Future: *meow*

Leah: What is she doing?

Damon: Losing her mind, I guess.

Future: Let's party till it's...well I don't know. Why are they still on the floor?

Bella & Elena: *Rolls around *

Who knows?

Future: Katherine, poke me again on facebook and you die!

Katherine: I'll poke you until the end of time! Muhahaha!

Future: Edweirdo, I blocked you on facebook by the way.

Edward: I'll just make a new one and stalk you everyday.

Future: Bella, I just totally ignore you on facebook.

Bella: Get this bitch off me!

Elena: NEVA!

Future: Damn I'm a sexy chick! *blows kisses*

…...

Future: TAG YOU'RE IT!

I think she's tagging the air.

Future: I am not crazy or insane. I am perfectly sane, just like Edgar Allan Poe, who was brilliant!

Stefan: And you see what got him.

Damon: Got him what?

Stefan: Famous, duh.

Future: Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon, Damon, and Stefan.

Damon & Stefan: …..

Future: Stefan's obviously my fav, why would anyone think otherwise?

Alice: Cause you call Damon's name like a billion times.

Future: The fact that ya'll have girl friends, boy friends, and spouses doesn't stop me, I'm a pretty open person.

Damon; I bet you are.

Future: Call me a hoe again and I'll break your jaw,Bella, so that I don't have to listen to you constantly whine about how much you secretly want Elena.

Bella: Who wants that thing?

Elena: I knew you were feeling my up!

Bella: EWWWWWWW! Who would want someone as dirty as you!

Elena: *Throws a lamp at Bella *

Hey! I found that lamp in an alley!

Elena: So.

It was cute. Was.

Future: *yanks Pam's hair* DIE BITCH DIE!

Pam: *Fangs pop out *

You can't kill her.

Pam: Damn it! *Pushes Future * Just wait till Chi's out the room because I'll have a new toothpick!

Future: *Drags Stefan and Damon to back room*

Stefan: NOOOOOOOOO!

6 hours later

Future: I think I'm gonna take a nap now.

Damon: Good.

Future: *being dragged to backroom* NO I'M TIRED!STEFAN!DAMON! GO AWAY!

3 seconds later

Future: WAIT I CHANGE MY MIND!

6 more hours later

Future:*passes out on Eric, curls up next to him*

Eric: …...

Future: Eric, go away! I must be out of my freaking mind.

Eric: …...

Future: And no, Katherine, that was far from cute. ME and Eric, it's like saying that Peanut butter should break up with Jelly and hook up with cream cheese.

Katherine: It might taste good, maybe it will taste better with your blood on it.

Ew.

Future: That was totally not weird at all, I'm not bored...ha ya I'm a terrible liar. SO besides that, I just wanna say that I'm accepting applications for whoever wants to be my bitch. *Passes out papers *

Elena: Really?

Bella: Elena really wants to be your bitch.

Elena: No.

Future: Edward, you're already denied.

Edward: I never want such a horrid job. *Looks at Tyler * WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU THROW A CAR!

Tyler: It wasn't my car to begin with.

Dean: O.o. No.

Tyler: Wasn't my car so it was all good.

Dean: YOU BASTARD I'LL KILL YOU! *Runs to the wolves corner and tackles Tyler *

Sam: Go Dean.

Caroline: you know he's going to lose without having a gun.

Sam: No I mean go Dean, run.

Future: SOMEONE MAKE ME A SANDWICH! A really hot, juicy one.

Damon: Pfft. How do you think you can come here and order everyone.

Stefan: Like anyone else on the show.

Jacob: Dean kicked Tyler ….Tyler punched him in the nuts. *Eats popcorn *

Future: Eric give me a reason why I should choose you over everyone else...even Damon, who I no longer have feelings for *pffff* Okay I'm not, but maybe I just need a little convincing.

Eric: *Takes off his shirt *

I want you under my Christmas tree this year ...if we live. With 2012 and stuff.

Future: Eric, wanna make out?

Eric: *Grabs Future * Okay. Tyler want to join us?

Tyler: Ha, ha, ha no.

Future: Eric, I think you'll be my new favorite.

Damon: *Sticks his tongue out *

Future: Eric, I think you need to get a reality check.

Eric: *Drops Future * Whatever.

Future: I will destroy you!

Eric: I've heard that many times before. Tyler?

Tyler: Ha, ha, hell no.

Caroline: Yeah! What he said.

…..

Eric: He'll come around. I conquered Damon, Stefan, and Jacob, you will be mine.

Damon: *Throws up *

Tyler: I'm not like those bitches.

Stefan: Pfft.

Guys stop being side track and let's finish the show!

Alice & Caroline: Yeah!

Eric: *Blows Tyler a kiss *

Caroline: *Twitch * Fuck off.

No name: Sooo funny!

Thanks! And that was for the third chapter.

Veronica Mars:*Straightening hair and removing staples from appendages* Stupid Rogue *angry crying face* I need a hug!

Edward: I'll hug you!

Veronica: Thanks Edward I knew you'd make me smile again! *Big grin) Hi everyone, wow Charity it'd been a while since you've written -what happened?

Hmm! A lot of stuff happened ...haha...don't hurt me! *hides behind Alice*

Veronica: Ha, ha. At least you aren't as bad as Rogue she hasn't updated Moonflower in forever (mainly cause she's obsessing with Simpson's, Southpark and work, yes work work work, forget Ronnie's birthday and Christmas present) Edward take me to the back room please (weepy face).

Edward: *Picks up Veronica * Don't mind if I do.

Bella: Don't get an std!

Veronica: *Flips off Bella * Bye!

Edward: *Runs to the backroom *

*Three Hours later *

Veronica: Bye!

Edward: I knew someone loved me.

Bella: Pfft.

*Rogue Assasin walks in extremely tired* Hey!

Edward: What's up with the evil bitch *Rogue snaps fingers and Edward mouth is replaced with his dick*

Everyone: …...

Damon: Disturbing but at least he's quiet now.

Rogue: I am so very tired, I have been working 6 weeks straight without a break I can't go a day without a red bull, going to either end up in the nut house or prison. So how has everyone been? Ronnie I'll be blunt fuck off I gave you a gift card!

Haha!

Katherine: Shut up!

Aw.

Rogue: So Damon did you have fun with Stefan and the garden shears?

Damon: Yep. But the skin grew back... along with the fur.

Stefan: You cut off my eyes asshole.

Damon: I couldn't help it! They were just staring at me.

Rogue: Stefan and Tara were good for a little while, Stefan should have a girl like Jessica -Bills Protege.

Stefan: Maybe.

Rogue: Anyway I'm super tired and need to crash hopefully will have time in a few days to comment. Till then play good lovely people, Katherine you rock and yes you may have Jacob as a sex slave.

Katherine: This is way I love her. *Pulls out a collar from behind her * Come here boy.

Jacob: *Runs away*

Jojo meinne: Hi! I'm here again ... Chi it'z been like years ago since you updated but itz alright,this new update you made has made my day... especially since you included me in your script i love you for that!

No prob!

Jojo: Okay so to make this an official review datdatda!

Alice: Yay!

Jojo: Stefan since i really like you im giving you this choco bunny , itz not real coz i think bunny eating is disgusting.

Stefan: ….. I'll take it. Thanks.

Jojo: And Katherine i think your totally bad-ass and your baby-daddy and you belong together ... you and him and your baby's? are like a cute family in a twisted way XD ...Where is he?

Katherine: At home where he belongs!

He shocked you again huh?

Katherine: I would stab him if I could.

Everyone: …...

Jojo: Jake OH MY GOD, I LOVE YOU ! AND ROGUE IS TOTALLY RIGHT FOR MAKING YOU WEAR SPEEDOS ... IN ANY OTHER ATTIRE ILL STILL LOVE YOU BUT IN SPEEDOS? ILL LOVE YOU MORE.

Jacob: Thanks...you sure my butt cheeks aren't just popping out of these?

All the girls: No! You look good.

Jojo: Damon i used to like you but now, Stefan has solely filled that gap :-P But you can REFILL IT ;-)

Damon: How. *Raises eyebrows *

Jojo: Rogue your badass and i like you in a non-sexual way so please don't kill me or torture me or whatever.

Katherine: When you come back give me chocolate.

Alice: No one cares.

Katherine: *Growls *

Jojo: Care, you i like in a very non-innocent way *evil laugh* Whoo long review right? hehehehe hope you make another update! Luv yah! P.S. to those i did not include in my "rant" here's a lollipop ( a very special kind of lollipop ) chi itz up to you on what those lollipop might do to those who were given but to those who were included in my rant cannot be given though like you for example :-D Dont worry ill have sumthing for you if you update obediently!

Okay! And thanks. *Blush *

Damon: *Pushes me *

*Twitch *

Jojo: Toodles! and Edward I wish for your death so here's a death lollipop that will kill you for three seconds ... many things can happen in three seconds *evil laugh* *disappears in thin air*

Edward: ….No way I'm eating that. *Walks away *

*Jaws theme starts playing slowly in the background*

Charity: *Looks around nervously* why do I feel as if...

Alice: This room is going to get sparkly quick... *

Jaws theme picks up pace and black fog starts to surround Edward and Stefan*

Stefan: WTF! Why me? I've been bad ass all season!

*Jaws theme in full swing*

Rogue: Cause I don't like that unibrow! *Thick black smog envelopes, Rogue, Edward and Stefan screams are heard glitter starts making the smog look like a disco ball*

Jacob: Cool, it's so shiny and pretty! OW!

Katherine: Sorry I couldn't help grabbing those cheeks!

Castiel: I'm standing right here Katherine, with our baby girl stop perving on the little boy we have our own little Samean on the way.

Damon: *Spits out his blood* Samean?

Katherine: *Whispering to Eric* I'll get you Tyler if you help me kill the angel -I am not naming my baby after wincest!

Pam: The fogs dying down... *Rogue walks out of fog and hugs Chi while Stefan stands in the middle crying wearing a hospital gown*

Elena: Edward, where's my Edward? ...

Edward:*Sobbing* I'm with Stefan

Sam: You made him invisible?

Dean: Why is his voice coming from Stefan's crotch?

Chi:*Pulls off Stefan's gown and everyone is shocked* What? So i pulled his gown big deal *chi shrugs*

Bella:*Laughing* No one cares about the damn gown! Look at what Rogue did!

Charity: *looks at Stefan and faints*

*10 minutes later*

Damon: You connected Edward and my brother at the waist! *Laughing* Oh Stefan what a hideously sparkly wang you have!

Eric: You are lucky vampires don't pee or sparkle boy's mouth would be a urine exit.

Stefan: Why? what did I do to deserve this?

Rogue: I was artisticly bored.

Damon: She's got a point.

Stefan: Shut up Damon!

Rogue: So Sam, you and Dean are boys again and not little fags, except for the pedo like ghost *Whispers*Bobby... Following you around your show is getting better, I think the Amazon episode was the coolest, Dean does the thought of kids freak you that much?

Dean: *Drinking from Bobby's flask* I hate you!

Rogue: *Busts a cap in Dean's ass* The feeling is mutual jackass, I could join you and Sam the same way I joined Stefward... but then you wouldn't be able to jack each other off... or have sex... ever...

Edward: Please someone kill us now!

Stefan: Damon here's your opportunity *gives Damon a stake* Kill me!

Damon: I am a huuuuge fan of art, I think not.

Rogue: So Damon any idea on who the maker of your line is? The series is waaaaay off from the books, firstly Elena is a blond haired blue eyed ice queen, Damon is shorter than Stefan and can turn into a wolf or a crow (Stefan does nothing but mope and get abducted!)

Damon: Of course.

Stefan: Shut up.

Rogue: Damon becomes human, suffers amnesia, then goes to the afterlife and becomes a vampire again and fights demons, and he and Stefan both have Elena (though Damon has an interest in Bonnie) Damon dies then comes back to life -all on his own, Stefan, Elena and Bonnie left him under the poison tree that staked him whereas Damon had to keep risking his life for them -the 3 of them are so selfish I hope Damon leaves Mystic Falls and runs away with Caroline (Who may or may not be having Tyler's puppies), and Klaus made Katherine, there is no doppelganger blood line and Katherine is already dead (She and Elena died together -poetic don't you think) -wow that was a lot! Anyway I think Rebekah might be the start of the Salvatore bloodline in the TV series though it may very well be Elijah. Either way in the end Damon will be the most powerful vampire to walk the earth cause Stefan is too much of an emotional retard.

Stefan: ….. I'm not retard.

Damon: Should have just gotten some gasoline and burn those bitches.

Rogue: I want more Damon and Alaric adventures, they actually kick ass together the love triangle story is getting old, Eddie and Bella mutilated that concept. I miss True Blood! July is only a few months away...

Yay. I really should catch up. I didn't get to see the last episode.

Rogue:Hey Charity I had a great idea how about putting Stef and Damon in Powerpuff girls! Damon can be the professor, Stefan can be Mojo jojo and Alice, Katherine and Leah can be power puffs!

Pam: What about me?

Rogue: You can go put my paddle and whip in some warm water and tie yourself up... now!

Pam: Yes ma'am!

Eric: I like it when you get authoritative.

Rogue: *Blows out a puff off cigar smoke* You might as well join her -God knows when Chi will update again it might be next 's day. Dean go sit yourself in the chair in the corner -the one with the manacles, you can watch.

Dean: ...I have nothing better to do.

Rogue: Castiel, you get to play.

Katherine: *Hisses*

Charity: I thought you wanted him dead.

Katherine: He's my play thing just cause I don't appreciate him doesn't mean other people can *Katherine hold's a knife against Sam and Dean's throats*

Rogue: Katherine -you can join us but first you must wear these green contacts and this red wig so you don't look like Elena bitch.

Katherine: Yes!

Alice: *Shakes her head*

Rogue: Okay I think it's time we vote Tyler off, I mixed sedatives in his doggie treat so Eric you can have your way with him and toss him out.

Tyler: *Stumbling* I feel *hiccup* so used *falls down*

Stefan: What about me!

Damon: As much as his face horrifies me he is my only family...

Rogue: It will wear off in a few days then Stefan will give birth to the rest of Edward.

Stefan: 0_0 Kill me now oh merciful Lord! Hey now you both can play with Bella and Elena, I have a fab idea! *Rogue snaps fingers and Elena and Bella are joined at the waist with *Rogue snaps fingers and Elena and Bella are joined at the waist with half of Belle hanging out of Elena*

Bella: Noooooooooo, we're human we pee!

Rogue: Exactly! Well I'm done I think that was my most artistic torture yet now to the backroom! *Rogue blows Charity a kiss*

*Blush *

Alice: …

Sam: *Sighs * The show is over... I need a drink.

Caroline: I'm about to kick Eric's ass! That's my man!

Pam: That will be fun to watch.

…My computer got broken...for the third time and had to redo the story all over again. But I everything is back online … somewhat. I want to thank FutureActressKS, NoName, Veronica Mars, Jojo meinne and Rogue Assasin for the reviews and thanks for the readers. I'm working on one of those you and Damon type things.

Alice: Peace!

Katherine: Do I have to tighten this collar?

Jacob: NO!

Castiel: ….

Stefan: Kill me!

Damon: *Laughs *

And chocolate. See you guys soon!

Sam: Let's go for a drink Chi.

Yay.

Damon: Fuck no.

….Not this again.

Alice: Do you care that Damon has a thing for Chi?

Pam: It's more like the feels that a master has for their pet.

Damon: She my puppy and you can't get her drunk!

Bye! *Snatches Sam and runs *

Damon: Get back here!

Bella: Wanna play Go fish?

Elena: *Sigh * Might as well dammit.

Edward.: Oh my god...

Bob: I'm back.

Katherine: *Punches Bob * OH NO BITCH!

Leah: Can I leave now?

Katherine: Leave like a good little doggie.

Leah: *Kicks Katherine*

*Sighs*


	87. Powerpuff Alice, Leah, and Katherine

Show's They Can't do Together!

The Powerpuff Girls!

(Thanks Rogue)

Damon: Girls!

Alice, Katherine,and Leah: *Fly through the floor*

Damon: ...Why the hell are you flying?

Katherine: Why the hell you're wearing a lab coat ass?

Damon: Well at least I know what ingredient you came from.

Leah: What?

Damon: Sugar, spice, and liquids from a crazy, evil bitch. Katherine you know what you are?

Katherine: *Twitch *

*Phone rings *

Alice: *Picks it up * Hello Mayor!

Pam: Why can't I just kill him myself?

Dean: Because you are the mayor.

Alice: Hello?

Pam: I think it would be easier they way.

Dean: It's Powerpuff girls, not super pyscho mayor who rips peoples throats out with her teeth.

Alice: ….

Leah:What's going on?

Alice: Their talking.

Dean: This show is for kids.

Pam: Still think it would be better if I killed them all.

Alice: O.o?

Katherine: *Snatches the phone * ANSWER BITCH!

Damon: What did I tell you?

Katherine: *Picks up the phone and throws it at him * LET'S GO!

Leah: Who the hell you're ordering around super slut!

Katherine: Bring it on powerdog bitch!

Leah: *Tackles Katherine *

Damon: Not getting in that.

Alice: *Sighs *

*BOOM *

Stefan: Do not ignore me because I'm ignorable!

Damon: And are you going to clean this you.

Stefan: My name is Mojo Stefano! I will destroy you with my awesome power to destroy you with.

Damon: Pfft. Why are you dressed up as a monkey?

Stefan: Shut up professor because I will be the one to shut you up.

Damon: That didn't make sense.

Stefan: I do not know why I'm talking this way that I'm talking.

Damon: ...*Pulls out a shoot gun and shoots him * Yay! Day is saved.

Alice & Leah: …..

Katherine: Guess who got lazer eye beams bitch! *Tries to lazer Leah *

Leah: *Dodges * Me! *Burns off Katherine's hair *

Alice: *Laughs*

Damon: Why don't they have nose, ear, or fucking fingers?

Alice: Cause we were made this way.

Leah: You're a dick.

Katherine: I will murder you all! MY HAIR!

Stefan: Mojo …..got shot...call the police...for Stefano. *Coughs up blood *

Narrator: ...And the day is saved thanks to...

Damon: Let's kill the voice! *Holds a shot gun*

Narrator: Wait! NO! *Runs away*

Damon: *Chases after him*

Alice:*Laughs*

* * *

So you left Mojo Stefano to die?

Damon: Shouldn't have been a dick.

Stefan: There is still a whole in my stomach.

Damon: You will find some use for it.

Pam: So Chi I heard you finally made a Smut.

*Clears throat * I don't want to talk about it.

Damon: If it's about me and Stefan I will murder you.

EPPP!

Pam: It was a story about you and the reader.

Dean: Eww.

Damon: Keep your mouth shut.

Sam: *Rolls eyes * What's so special about Damon? He's just the vampire version of Dean.

Damon: Who doesn't bone his brother.

Dean: *Flicks him off *

Sam: We should start the show ...like now.

Jojo: Hi Everyone! Chi U R SO FREAKIN' AWESOME! WAITING FOR THAT UPDATE SINCE I REVIEWED LAST TIME ... totally worth the wait ... so chi, wanna have a gift?

Yeah!

Damon: Be careful. It might be a poisonous apple.

Jojo: *Twitch *You'll get it "after" my rant.

OKAY! *Salutes *

Jojo:*starts with evil laugh* *and fog surround everyone* *everyone looks at me awkwardly*

Katherine: I knew there was something weird with that chick.

Jojo: Anyway,since Edward did NOT eat my lollipop, i resent you for that, should've been a good boy when i asked for you. NOW PAY THE MUCH WORST CONSEQUENCES! *EVIL LAUGH*

Edward: Wait, what?

Jojo: *spotlight on Edward cowering at the wolves corner*

Tyler: Weren't you supposed to be connected to Stefan's?

Stefan: *sitting on the couch* *shrugs* Jojo took it out last night...

Jojo: Eddie come with me to the back room *looks at him hungrily*

Edward: GO TO HELL!

Jojo: *devil voice* Already been there! *Edward is pulled to the backroom by a mysterious wind*

Edward: AAAGGHHH! *fog clears*

Jojo: Now that was settled, be back in a few guys *winks at chi*

O.o?

Katherine: If she eats him her insides will be all shiny.

* Nods*

...

*After backroom torture time...and hrs. of screams of agony later

Jojo: *walks back to the room* Well, that was refreshing... *sits at the couch* what to do...what to do?

I...I think I see blood.

Jojo: *stands up hurriedly* Oh right! My gifts! * pulls out big bag out of nowhere* *winks at chi*

Forget the blood. YAY!

Stefan: She really easy to please.

Damon: *Nods *

Jojo: Right, first off, Katherine ... here's your chocolate, it's a Jacob look-alike something, looks like him, might even taste like him *smiles naughtily*

Katherine: *Evil laugh *

Jacob: *Cries *

Jojo: *mumbles* Why didn't i just kept it to myself?

Katherine: Happy you didn't!

Jojo: And also,Caroline, here's a pretty dress put it on for me will you?

Caroline: It's a sexy maid's dress (O.O)

Jojo: Even better, don't cha think, Stefan? *throws a naughty look at Stefan*

Stefan: *mumbles to himself* Yeah, erm...it did look gud on you last night...ahem *blushes*

Damon: *narrows eyes at jojo* What did you do to him?

Jojo: *winks at him* Wouldn't you wanna find out?

Pam: Only if I join him.

Jojo: And the wolves corner...here's chocolate, i know you all would want one, why does everyone love chocolate? i just do not get that.

Seth: Can we eat chocolate?

Tyler: We're wolves, not dogs. Besides Leah takes all the chocolate.

Leah: And.

Stefan: *Looks at jojo naughtily* Why don't you go and pour chocolate on me *winks at jojo* you might get the concept..

Damon: When did you turn into a pervert?

Jojo: Stefan, stop distracting me!

Stefan: *Licks lips * Can't help it.

Damon: I'm going to throw up.

Jojo: Ok, so who else, oh right Pam, darling here's a whip...

Pam: The things I will do.

Jojo: And Eric? Here's rope, you might get to use it- *Eric gazes at jojo* uhmm, on someone else but me...

Eric: Tyler.

Caroline: Oh hell no!

Eric: Chi.

Damon: Fuck that shit.

Jojo: Bella, Here's a shovel, go bury yourself.

Bella: ….I hate you.

Jojo: Elena, uhmm...*shuffles through bag* Oooohhh! A shock collar! Put it on if you don't wanna end up like Eddie!

Elena: ...Haha, no,

Jojo: PUT IT ON!

Elena: OKAY! *Puts on the shock collar * This ….*Gets shocked *

...I think she enjoys it.

Elena: More! *Moans *

Pam: *Laughs *

Dean: PG – 13 my ass.

Elena: *On the floor *

Everyone: O.o?

Can she do that on here?

Damon: Been worse on here, like grammer, story line, or even being finishes.

…Jerk.

Alice: Where is Edward?

Jojo: *Evil laugh* He won't be around for a while...

Alice: *Raises an eyebrow *

Jojo: Oh Alice,*looks at her hesitantly* here's my credit card...Go nuts?

Alice: Yeah!

Jojo: Castiel! I so love you! *kisses him* Do you mind if that's my gift for you?

Castiel: Not a problem.

Katherine: Yes problem!

Jojo: *shocks Elena* What? I just wanted to see if it works...

Elena: Yes! ….

*Blushes * Do we really have to watch her like that?

Damon: *Shrugs *

Jojo: And also, Dean *looks at now empty bag* here's the bag,it's yours now...Sam, uhmm..you can share the bag with dean?

Sam: …... Fine.

Stefan: What about me?

Jojo: You know, visit me again tonight...and we might practice that "chocolate theory" of yours...*winks at him*

Stefan: *Smirks *

Damon: *Throws up *

Jojo: Ok so, Everyone got a gift?

Nope.

Jojo: Oh right, Chi and...what's the name of the guy who harasses you? Demon, Damien, Logan?

Damon: You know my name. *Twitch *

Logan! He's so cute and the things I'll do to him!

Damon: *Twitch * Note to self, destroy big time rush.

Jojo: Oh you, uhmmm would the answer for your question be enough? *winks at him*

Damon: Sure.

Chi: *interrupts the sexy moment* My gift first!

Jojo: Oh alright,datdatda! *snap's fingers* here's a Porsche, *wiggles eyebrows* Len's inside of it,and...he's compelled to be willing *winks at her*

*Evil laugh *

Pam: Pedo-chi has awakened again. You know the kid is 14 right.

He's a Vocaloid, they don't age that much. Bye! *Runs to the Porsche *

Jojo: Okay, bye to ya'll! More presents next update! *disappears in thin air*

Damon: Wait! What about the answer to my question?

Jojo: *evil laugh is heard somewhere*

Stefan: Guess that means you don't get anything, bitch.

Damon: *Hits Stefan with a chair *

Stefan: OW! My hole!

Damon: …

Lovatic: *Walks in and sits in a chair* Oh my god I'm so tired.

Alice: What's up Nessie?

HeartsBreak: Rehearsals are killing her. She has rehearsal everyday for the month.

Chi: Well that sucks.

Lovatic: Yes it does.

Damon: Hey Nessie.

Lovatic: Hi Damon.

Damon: Wasn't expecting that.

Lovatic: It's a sad day when I don't even have the energy to argue with Damon.

Alice: Wow you are really tired. So what's new?

Lovatic: Nothing.

HeartsBreak: Really? Are you sure about that?

Lovatic: *Glares at her sister* Damon can I hold Kalista please?

Damon: *Thinks about it* No.

Lovatic: Why?

Damon: 'Cause I don't want to give her to you right now I'm holding her.

Lovatic: You were holding her before I got here. You held her the last time I was here and I didn't ask for her. I'm asking nicely. Please Damon?

Stefan: Did Nessie just say please? To Damon?

Chi, Alice and HeartsBreak: Yeah.

Stefan: Ok, did I miss something?

Damon: No.

Lovatic: I said I didn't have the energy to argue with you. But I'm not too tired to kick your ass. Give me Kalista now and I'm not asking this time.

HeartsBreak: Crabby Nessie is not a fun one it would be smart-

Katherine: I'm gonna say this one more time. If it involves a choice and Damon smart should not be in the sentence.

Lovatic: I agree.

HeartsBreak: Ok it would be...the better option to listen to her.

Damon: Let me think about it.

Lovatic: Think quickly.

Kalista: *Pats Damon's arm* Want...auntie. Want auntie Nessie.

Katherine: Well Kalista has spoken.

HeartsBreak: You're going to be the one dealing with her for the next 2 hours so unless you want your daughter screaming the whole time, I'd give her to her aunt.

Damon: Fine *Give Kally to Lovatic*

Lovatic: Thank you. Buh-bye.

Kalista: Auntie, auntie.

Lovatic: Yes Kally.

Kalista: Sing pwease.

Lovatic: Sure.

*half an hour later*

Damon: That's the fastest she has ever gone to sleep. How did you do that? 'Cause I want to know it'll save me 4 hours every night

Lovatic: She likes me.

Damon: *rolls eyes*

HeartsBreak: Seriously how did you do that?

Lovatic: It's a gift.

Damon: Yeah so is being annoying.

Lovatic: Fuck off!

*The wolves enter and watch the argument*

Damon: Wow you're back to normal now.

Lovatic: You irritate me.

Damon: Go to hell.

Lovatic: Because of you I'm already there *hands Kally to Stefan and stands up*...but thanks for the offer.

Damon: You're being an insufferable bitch right now.

Lovatic: Me? I'm being an insufferable bitch? Have-

Katherine: Have you looked in the mirror lately Damon?

*Everyone turns to Katherine shocked*

Katherine: She has been nice to you since she got here. You started being insufferable. Don't blame her.

Chi: Are you feeling okay Katherine?

Damon: No she's obviously not. She's delusional and suffers from dementia.

Katherine: I'm fine. Damon's just getting on my nerves and he's about to get kicked in the face for that last comment.

Alice: He's getting on everyone's nerves.

Chi: Go ahead Katherine, no one's going to stop you he deserves it.

HeartsBreak: He's just mad that there's someone here who's as hard headed as he is and won't put up with his crap.

Lovatic: Thanks sis.

Damon: I am not hard headed.

Tyler: Yes you are.

Jacob: And Nessie's not a bitch.

Tyler: How did I know that you were going to say that?

Everybody: We all knew he was going to say that.

Damon: He's just sticking up for her because she's his girl.

Lovatic: And...

HeartsBreak: Your point is...what?

Lovatic: I know that Jacob will stick up for me because I'm his girl. But he also sticks up for me because I'm right. It's not our fault Pam doesn't even want to be near you when we are in an argument, considering you're wrong and acting like an ass.

Pam: It's true.

Alice: Admit it Damon, you're just mad that everyone likes Nessie. Including Katherine which came as a shock to all of us.

Katherine: Hey I can be nice. Nessie may not be a vampire or wolf or witch but she's fierce, vicious, sassy and bad ass. Anyone with that combination of qualities is cool with me.

HeartsBreak: You've got to be kidding me!

Lovatic, Alice, Chi: What?

HeartsBreak: You're telling me that I only had to act like a vicious bad ass to get you to like me. What the fuck Katherine!

Katherine: Well...you did kick my ass.

*Heartsbreak glares at Katherine menacingly*

Katherine: Ok fine we're cool.

Alice: Let's go shopping.

Lovatic: Classic Alice. But I'm up for it.

HeartsBreak: Me too.

Chi: Let's go!

*The girls leave*

Stefan: Dude you need to leave Nessie alone sometimes.

Jacob: She's not always looking for a fight.

Damon: Whatever.

Tyler: What's your problem? Is today Damon's double the ass day or something?

*Damon rolls his eyes and leaves. The girls come back 2 hours later*

Chi: That was fun.

Alice: Of course it was, we bought clothes and shoes!

Katherine: *shakes head at Alice* And a couple weird extras in Nessie's case.

Chi: Yeah, what's with the bow and arrow, girl?

Lovatic: *smiles* You never know when it will come in handy.

Alice: Ok. Love never get your sister mad.

HeartsBreak: Not planning on it. Ness, we should get going.

Lovatic: Ok. *looks around* I want to do something first.

*Lovatic turns around and shoots an arrow at Edward just as Stefan walked in*

*Stefan dodges the arrow quickly*

Stefan: Thanks Ness. I thought it was my brother you wanted to kill.

Lovatic: Sorry Stefan. It wasn't you I was aiming at. *points at Edward* At least it found my target.

Stefan: Good shot.

Lovatic: Thanks. *turns to Edward* Why are you still here? I have a bunch more arrows to shoot at you Fagward.

*Edward runs out*

Lovatic: And Stefan tell Damon that the next time I'm here if he pulls the same crap that he did today, I have a very special arrow here that I will not hesitate to shoot him with

HeartsBreak: Let's go before you kill someone.

Lovatic: Bye guys.

Everyone: Bye Nessie, bye Love.

I'm Katniss! *Holds a bow and arrow and shoots Damon in the leg *

Damon: ...You know you're dead right.

...It was so worth it. *Runs away *

Damon: *Chases after me*

Future: How's everyone today?

HE'S TRYING TO KILL ME!

Damon: BLEED, BITCH, BLEED!

Pam: They are stupid.

Future: *Nods*

Stefan: *Shakes head *

Eric: Your hole still hurts?

Stefan: *Walks away from Eric *

Future: Gir, wanna have a pancake party?

Gir: YAY!

Future: *Sips some orange juice* Any ideas on what I should do to Edweirdo today? I'm up for anything at the moment.

Elena: *Get's shocked again *

Future: *Grin* Time for you to die Edweirdo!

Edward: Shit. Again. Already.

Future: Don't ask why I'm wearing a cat suit, Katherine made me wear it last night, and I kind of forgot to change.

Katherine: Hahaha. Fun times, fun times.

Sam: *Low whistle *

Future: Eric, wanna make out? I'm not kidding at all today. I'm so done with Damon, Stefan, and all those other guys, I think it's time that I give you a chance instead of beating you up all the time.

Damon: *Twitch*

Future: Got a problem, Damon?

Future: *Puts on team Eric shirt*

Damon: Traitor!

Future: ...Like you can talk.*kisses Eric*

Edward: I want a kiss.

Future: No bitch.

Edward: Aw!

Future: So, Damon, I thought it was a bit odd when you just climbed into my bedroom window last night...especially when Katherine showed up after you left...Then Elena showed up, but I just shoved her out the window.

Elena: Why you pushed me off! *Shocked *...

Is there like a timer on it.

Pam:Maybe.

Future: Also Edweirdo, I blocked you on Facebook again. I'm sure Eric here would help me out in torturing you, isn't that right love?

Eric: Yep.

Edward: I'll just make a new one. Bobby Johnson sounds like a good new name.

Katherine: *Twitch* You disgust me.

Future: Jack...where did he go?

Jack: I was hiding in the closet. We were playing hide and seek but I guess it took almost a year to find me, isn't that right lads.

Damon: I thought you locked the closet.

Stefan: No, you told Jacob.

Jacob: …

Future: AHHHHHH, stranger danger! Put me down, Jack! NOW! Please and thank you.

Jack: Sure love, I'm tired of seeing coats and empty bottles of rum around me.

...

Future: Also, Edweirdo, h

Edward: …...

*Rogue strolls in wearing bath robe and sits of Chi's sofa*

Charity: Hi, what happened to your usual scene taking entrances? Did you use my shower?

Rogue:*Lighting cigar* people are trying very hard to steal my mojo *looks hard at Sam, Stefan, Bella and Edward* anyway I am relaxing and no I didn't use your bathroom, I used Damon's he has such an awesome shower, I can see why Sage took him there *winks at Damon*

Caroline: Can I please do your hair!

Alice: Can I play dressup with you!

Rogue: Sure knock yourselves out as long as I don't have to move.

Alice & Caroline: Yes!

Caroline: Can I please do your hair!

Alice: Can I play dressup with you!

Rogue: Sure knock yourselves out as long as I don't have to move.

Damon: So are you just going to sit there and get dolled up this update?

Rogue: Nope -I have an agenda *Rogue snaps fingers and a document appears in everyone's hands*

Katherine: YES YES a million times yes to number 1

Charity: *Scratching head and reading number 1* What! Blow up my backroom! NOOOOOOOOOOO.

Rogue: Well the backroom is separated into 2 parts the torture room and the sex room, my dear cousin has desanctified our sex room by taking Edward there, don't worry, Me and Eric will build a better one *Rogue snaps fingers and the backroom goes up in flames*'

O.o...

Alice: Has she ever been wrong.

…...

Jacob: What about the fangirls... and fanboys *looks at Edward* who want to go to the back!

Pam: Meh -They can use the nursery -the children have vanished.

Katherine: Vanished! Where's my baby!

Castiel: *Changing Casterine's nappy* right here.

Elena: Where's my babies! and Bonnie's babies!

Alice: There's a note.

Eric: Bob's taken them and he won't give them back until he eats a soul...

Everyone grabs Bella by the hair* He can have your soul!

Bella: WHAT!

*7 hours later and Damon is surrounded by lots of toddlers*

Damon: Okay children yes I am your father but I am busy right now go play with your step mommy.

Pam: Come kids I'm going to teach you how to eat people!

Damon: *With tears in his eyes* they grow up so fast!

Caroline: Yes let's forget about Damon and his murderous children, what we going to do about the backroom?

Rogue: They can use a tent -happy? By the way thanks for the thumbs up Jojo and welcome to Chi's queer den of inequity.

Rogue:*Looking at Jacob teasingly* Who likes short shorts

*All the women and Edward whispering* WE LIKE SHORT SHORTS!

Rogue: I have an idea -all the women are taking Jacob into the backroom now to spank his beautiful hiny! Dean, Damon -you're in charge!

Damon: Pfft. All I have to do is stay a vampire and die, why do I want to watch ….

Dean: Yay! *Clears throat * I mean, yeah.

…

Rogue: I meant back tent!

Alice: *Warming up her* palms hope there's enough room for all.

Bonnie: Hope there's enough ass for us all!

Caroline: When did you get back?

Bonnie: I'm not back just here to get my child support cheque, thought I'd have some fun while I was here

*Dean and Sam play ping pong with Castiel and Casterine watching*

Eric: Isn't Castiel supposed to be having hallucinations about Lucifer?

Castiel: Lucifer is babysitting my baby while I think about names for my new baby since Kathe-bitch doesn't like Samean *Katherine's stiletto flies from the backroom and hits Castiel in the head*

Stefan: *Picking up Casterine* I think I should watch her for now... she almost put her fingers in the power socket.

Damon: You're just using the baby as a shield from me and those pretty Christmas garden shears Rogue got you...

*4 Hours later and the women come out*

Edward: *Trying to speak through his gag* Whr'd Jacob.

Charity: Huh?

Elena: He's asking where's Jacob?

Rogue: Caroline is rubbing ointment on his ass -it's glowing brighter than Rudolph's red nose!

Katherine: Yes we will use the Rudolph the red nose reindeer theme *Starts singing* Jacob the red assed werewolf had a very muscled ass.

Alice: Then all the women spanked him until that ass began to glow.

Charity: All of the other werewolves *whispers and vampires* used to laugh and call him names.

Caroline: Until the women spanked him and made him there number one man.

Katherine: Now in those yummy speedos.

Rogue: We can watch it all hang out.

Sam: Until I kidnap him and make him King of my world!

*Everyone stares at Sam blankly*

Dean: Not cool dude.

Sam: *Cries* Go drown yourself in Boony's liquor flask! *Runs away*

Jacob: My ass hurts.

Eric: I could make it hurt more...

Katherine: Back off Viking!

Eric: *Smirks *

Rogue: So Stef did you enjoy being connected to Edward? Tooo bad you didn't give birth to the rest of him *Rogue pouts then Pam makes out with her to make her feel better*

Stefan: ...

Rogue: SO Eric did you get Tyler?

Eric: In more ways than one *Lick's lips*

Caroline: *Cries* I'll never look at him the same again.

Tyler: ...

Rogue: Has anyone here watched The Secret Circle? It's interesting in the beginning especially when Jake and Cassie start getting close then he leaves and she's suddenly into Adam I hate Cadam Jassie all the way, they have more chemistry and Adam is a fag he belong's in the Stefward pile of rotting shit along with Bill. I can remember a time when I was actually nice to Stefan... then he left and gave Elena the opportunity to desanctify Damon! We need to bathe Damon in bleach and wash the Elena outta him!

Katherine: I second that! Make him drink it!

Alice: I third that! What he's a handsome vampire .

Edward: Oh my God you had x with Damon! I'm telling Jasper!

Alice: Yes then you can bend over for him and let him give it to you all night long.

Everyone: 0_o.

...We really need to take an STD test.

Damon: Vampire's don't give STD.

...Sure.

*Edward and Alice begin to fight*

Rogue: Okay it's almost time to go who do I torture! Alice is kicking Edward's ass, we fed Bella to Bob that leaves Elena and Sam...

Elena and Sam: *Try to run away but are stopped by a wall of fire*

Rogue: Nuh uh uh you don't get to run bwahahahahaha *Rogue turns Sam into a female bunny and Bob the bunny rapes the Sam bunny*

Elena: I'll be good! Please let me run!

Rogue: Seeing as you like to run *Rogue snaps fingers and a vicious hell hound is tied behind Elena* You'd better run before you become puppy chow.*Elena screams and runs out the room with the hellhounds on her tail*

Rogue: Well Chi thanks for updating, time for me to bounce but before I do *Rogue grabs Chi and makes out with her and gropes her boobs* Peace peeps

*Charity faints*

Dean: I think I see her soul coming from her mouth.

Katherine: Just let that bitch die.

Caroline: So the show is finished Yay!

Jacob: I think she really died.

Leah: Go catch her soul stupid!

Seth: Got a butterfly net.

Pam: Normally Chi has her rants but there trying to catch her soul.

Hehehe I see a bright light.

Jacob: Don't go!

Damon: Let her.

Pam: So we like to thank Jojo Meinne, LovaticNessie4EverUnbroken, FutureActressKS, and Rogue Assasin for reviews. Peace.

Alice: *Pants * Love!

Jacob: DON'T GO TO THE LIGHT!

Yay! LIGHT!

Elena: *Shocked then falls *

Tyler: Well the Hellhounds are going to have a good dinner.

Everyone: *Nods *

Caroline: Bye!


	88. The Land of Ooo

Shows They Can't Do Together

Adventure Time!

Damon: *Looks at his hands *

Stefan: What's wrong with you?

Damon: I only have four fingers!

Stefan: That's all you got to say about this setting?

Damon: Well you'er a dick. So that's that.

Jake: Hey Finn, who are those dudes?

Finn: Don't know but with those bite marks and them floating they must by vampires!

Jake: No Finn like this...*Places hands on his cheeks * ...Vampires...*Music plays and camera close up*

Finn: I didn't see the difference man.

Jake: Finn the music added to the affect.

Finn: Ahh.

Damon: I think I just saw a walking peppermint.

Stefan: *Coughs * I think I just saw Katherine.

Katherine: *Nibbling on Peppermint butler's head*

Damon & Stefan: ….O.o?

Princess Bubblegum: Finn! Help! *Tries to pull Peppermint Butler away *

Katherine: *Let's him go and targets a chocolate candy bar *

Princess Bubblegum: Are you alright Peppermint butler?

Peppermint butler: Yes. I'm fine Princess. *Deep dark voice * I should have taken that bitches soul when I had the chance.

Princess Bubblegum: …Okay.

Finn: Yeah! Let's punch her in the face! *Runs towards Katherine *

Jake: Yep! *Just stays there *

Stefan: I thought you was going to punch her in the face?

Jake: I'll go when Finn calls.

Lumpy Space Princess: Oh my glob! Her lips...are so ...luscious! But her hair hairy is so frizzya.

Katherine: This is the best place ever!

Finn: *Punches Katherine in the face *

Jake: Yay!

Katherine: … *Twitch *

Marceline: ...What's happening over here?

Jake: Finns' punching that vampire.

Marceline: ...Cool.

Damon: Have a man?

Marceline: Sorry. But you smell like ancient chewing gum.

Stefan: *Tries to hold in laughter *

Damon: *Twitch * Shut up. Besides I bet she's after that kid.

Finn: Mathmatical! *Punches Katherine in the face again *

Katherine: OW! *Flicks him on the forehead and watches him fly *

Jake: *Grows really big and catches Finn *

Finn: Thanks buddy. Now let's kick her fanny!

Damon: Well this is stupid and a big waste of my time.

Stefan: How old are you?

Marceline: A woman never tells her age.

Damon: She's a hundred...

Marceline: *Hit Damon in the face with her bass *

Stefan: I think this is my favorite world.

Peppermint butler: Let's slay vampzilla!

Katherine: *Roars and breaths fire *

Damon & Stefan: …

Finn: WHOA! LET'S KILL IT!

* * *

What happened in the Land of Ooo after that?

Damon: I don't know. I was just hitting on Marceline the whole time. She's hot for a chick that has gray skin.

Stefan: Pam. You got something to say about that?

Pam: More pets the better.

Stefan: Sorry I asked.

Katherine: These little bastards!

….Did she kill Peppermint Butler?

Damon: Nah. She just broke a piece of him and the chocolate bar guy and ran.

Oh.

Caroline: Wish I would have went. The land is chalk full of candy people.

Damon: And one human...maybe.

Stefan: He tried to set the place on fire after that?

Why?

Damon: I wanted to see the candy burn.

Katherine: Thank god! Someone's on the same page.

Damon: ...Eww.

Sam: We should start the …

Tyler: Hey! I think we should get a show called , "The wolves corner" Starring me and these lame ass.

Leah: *Clears throat *

Tyler: And Leah.

Damon: She barely updates this show. Why do you think she would even start on yours?

Yeah...hey!

Damon: Just stating facts.

Tyler: Maybe she's tired of all the vamps pushing her around, not including Caroline and Alice.

Caroline: *Twitch * Why Alice?

Tyler: *Shrugs * She never try's to screw me.

Eric: *Blows a kiss *

Tyler: *Shudders * I fucking hate that guy.

Dean: Let's get this show on the road people. I have things to do and monsters to slay.

Damon: You can leave now. No one is going to talk to you or your whiny brother.

Sam: I'm not whiny. We use to get more air time than you.

Damon: Then look what happened. First Edward came then a whole bunch of other things, and Pam, and ruinned the show.

Tyler: Hey!

Damon: Just pointing out that this show was good when only me and Stefan and miss stupid, were the only one's running the show.

Stefan: ….

Edward: You hear that?

Hear what?

Edward: I hear a ting of jealousy getting bigger.

Damon: Shut up fairy.

Stefan: Fine if it's true then let's have a poll.

Damon: About?

Stefan: Who's the favorite among the show. Last place leaves.

Edward: Shit.

Stefan: So Damon can quit his bitching and we get breathing room. Fair?

Damon: *Kicks Stefan in the knee * Fair. I never bitch, I just vent loudly.

I don't count right.

Pam: She the host so she doesn't count.

Damon: Annoying little bitch.

Alice: Let's start the show!

Dean: About damn time.

Future: As I wanted to say last chapter but my computer stopped me, I think it's time we got over our...past and we move on to the future with friend ship *Smiles sweetly*

Edward: I'm not buying this. Is anyone buying this cause I'm not.

Bella: Nope.

Katherine: I want to go back to Ooo!

Future: *shoves Edward to the ground, grabs a shovel, and beats his head in with it* DIE BITCH DIE!

Edward: *Screams *

Jacob: Told you he will scream like a bitch.

Tyler: ...Sure you did.

Future: Plus, it's also just plain creepy how you can't take a hint about the facebook thing, stop poking me, stop writing cheesy love letters, stop commenting and liking all my pictures...stupid Edweirdo the fairy...not even a very attractive fairy.

Edward: If I can stalk your facebook then I'll just watch you sleep like old times.

Future: … *Kicks him in the face *

Damon: Head shot!

Future: Hi Eric!

Eric: Hello.

Future: Also Eric, thanks for pet sitting my cat last night, very surprised you didn't just throw it out. *sighs*

Eric: I don't hate cats. Just dogs, well current one's. *Blows a kiss at Tyler *

Tyler: *Uses Seth as a shield * No means no you ass. Come over here and I'll sick Leah on you!

Leah: What!

Future: By the way, Damon, sorry for hitting you yesterday, I nailed my window shut, and then I woke up with you in my closet...just...it just isn't right. I guess I went a little far with the sword I keep under my bed when I'm scared.

Edward: I thought I was you in there.

Damon: *Twitch * Shut up.

Jack: o.O

Future: Stole it from Jack, that's what he gets for stealing all my rum, even though all you had to do was ask.

Jack: I did not such a thing. It could have been a shape shifter.

Future: It was also fun when Eric found out that Damon broke into my room. Eric still won't tell me what happened...

Stefan: *Smirks* Yeah. What happened Damon?

Damon: Shut up.

Future: Also I can't quite figure out where me and Damon's child went...

Damon: WHAT!

Future: *sits down on Eric's lap* You are just beyond words.

Damon: *gags*

Future: *sighs*

Damon: Don't ignore me!

Future: Bye guys!

Damon: HEY!

Alice: How many kids does Damon have?

A lot I guess. There probably still some unclaimed.

Everyone: *Nods *

Damon: You are all stupid. Stefan might have some kids too.

Stefan: I've heard of condoms before.

Damon: Like that even matters stupid.

Stefan: At least I didn't pine over someone for many years.

Damon: Because you fall for her double jack ass!

Stefan: You did too!

Damon: *Kicks Stefan *

Stefan: *Tackles Damon *

…

Elena: Guys are such dorks.

Katherine: *Nods while sucking on Peppermint *

*A mysterious wind comes into the room*

Sam: *shivers* Why did it suddenly feel cold?

*a mysterious box pops out of nowhere with jojo on top of it*

Jojo: Hi guys! Chi, I'm happy you finally found the time to write...And just because i have a gift for you...later :-D!

Yay! I love gifts!

Damon: Why can't I get a gift?

*Nose bleeds * Where's your shirt?

Damon: *Looks down * Stefan tore it off. Perv!

Stefan: You pulled my shirt off too.

Borderline incest!

Stefan & Damon: SHUT UP!

Jojo: So all of you must be wondering what is inside the box...no worries me friends...*mumbles* I just need to get down here of course.

Stefan: Here let me *takes jojo off of the box*

Jojo: *Blushes* Thanks

Stefan: *Smirks* What's my reward then? *winks at Jojo*

Jojo: Anything you wish...that doesn't involve bunny slaying.

Stefan: Fine.

Damon: *Mumbles* I don't see why this bastard get a reward.

Jojo: Anyway, guys before I reveal the big surprise...I have matters to settle *Glares at Bella and Eddie*

Bella & Edward: Shit.

Jojo: Well, of your outmost disobedience...die!

*Bella and Edward gets sucked into a big black hole*

Jojo: *Turns to everyone gawking at her* What? Oh the hole, I heard the backroom was gettin' renovated so I transferred them into somewhere more "appropriate" *grins evilly* a tent just won't be enough

Pam: Where exactly?

Jojo: Oh you'll find out once you get there yourself, if you wish *raises eyebrows*

Dean: *whispers* Remind me not to get on her bad side

Seth: She's scary!

Leah: She's evil, cover your eyes Seth.

Eric: She's evilly hot.

Stefan: *Glares at Eric* Don't even think about it.

Eric: You can join too.

Stefan: *Gags *

Jojo: So, anyway, bye peepz! oh wait ELENA! come with me dear.

Elena: No thanks, I'll stay here with my shock collar

Jojo: *Stares at the shock collar* You're still wearing that?

Katherine: We saw things. Really horrible things.

Any worst then what you forced me to watch?

Katherine: Wanna watch the Last Airbender again.

I'm quite!

Jojo: Do you think she needs medication?

Pam: A lobotomy more like it.

Jojo: Anyway,Elena you have no choice See ya'll later chi!

*Waves*

Jojo:*Disappears with Elena*

Seth: *Pokes the mysterious box* She left the box.

Leah: Dont touch it! It might be evil.

Alice: We're not going to die are we?

Pam: *Shrugs old well *

...a few minutes later

*jojo, bella and elena appears out of thin air*

Alice: Back so soon?

Jojo: My little sister got mad when she found us in her room...

Sam: (O.O) That was your little sister's room?

Jojo: Yeah, she's evil,she did the torturing herself, she kicked me out though *mumbles* evil twit..

Katherine: Then why are the bitches with you still?

Jojo: *Shrugs* For some reason she's amused with Elena and her shock collar therefore resulting in not hating her enough to hurt her, well, Bella? She pretty much whined to get out of there...

...

Jojo: So, before anything, must be curious in what's in the box? Didn't touch it did you? *narrows eyes at everyone*

Everyone: No.

Damon: Edward did.

Edward: No I didn't!

When...wait...what?

Edward: I know people.

Jojo: Let's start off with the ones who got a suckish gift last chapter or the ones who didn't get a present at all.

Katherine: Hand over more chocolate.

Jojo: To start things off *takes the box in hand and pulls out a pie* Here, Damien,my gift for you...

Damon: Damon. My name is Damon.

Jojo: I know but I only gave you a gift cause Stefan felt bad for you, so don't push your luck.

Damon: She poisoned it didn't she?

Stefan: Maybe. *Shrugs *

Jojo: And Dean, Sam, here's a memory eraser,as a suggestion use it on your father to erase the info about you two, uhmm, "doing things"...

Dean: Thanks.

Sam: Yeah.

Jojo: Tyler here's an anti-Eric collar so you wouldn't go through any of Eric's escapades, prevents Eric from going near you.

Tyler: *Takes it and wears it * Thank you!

Eric: That collar can last forever.

Jojo: Pam, here's a leash...for Logan, so he doesn't get to impregnate innocent fangirls anymore.

Pam: Thanks.

*Evil voice *HAND HIM OVER!

Pam: … *Kicks me in the knee *

*Cries in the corner*

Damon: Dumbass.

Jojo: *Looks at Elena who is still "enjoying" her shock collar* I regret giving you that but I can't take it back so...

Elena: Can I turn it up even higher.

Jojo: Chi, here's a ticket to Dr. Phil's and take Elena there, she needs help...

I'll try. *Wipes eyes * I LOVE YOU LOGAN!

Damon: Hey Chi, want some maybe poison pie?

No!

Damon: Then shut up!

Jojo: Bella,*Pouts* I didn't get to torture you so...

*Bella suddenly gets sucked into a dark,dark hole*

Jojo: *smiles* By far, i think that's the best gift I've given anyone

Jojo: Katherine, enjoyed your gift last time? Well, here's a better one, a life-sized chocolate jacob in a cage *snaps fingers and cage with Jacob within appear*

Seth: Uhmm, Jojo I think that's really Jacob in there.

Jojo: Didn't say he isn't.

Seth: ...

Jojo: So, Castiel wanna make out, that's the only gift I can give *smirks*

Castiel: *Looks hesitantly at Katherine drooling at Jacob* I don't know...

Jojo: Oh she won't notice *smirks and kisses him*

Castiel: These are the moments I wish we had a backroom.

Jojo: *Laughs*

Stefan: What about me? *Glares at Castiel*

Jojo: Calm down, I'm not finished giving gifts.

*suddenly a drunken Damon walks in*

Jojo: So I see you ate the pie

Damon: You look v-very p-purty...

Jojo: Thanks?

Damon: Wanna make out?

Stefan: I'll turn you into soup first.

Damon: Little baby Stefan finally had some *scratches head* what was I going to say?

Jack: He didn't leave any pie for me. *Falls to his knees * NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Damon: *Sees a lamp* Oh right, Chi, I love you *Kisses the lamp*

O.o I'm right here!

Pam: Don't press your luck Chi-a-pet.

Damon: *Dances on the couch* *sings* I love Chi and honey...Pam and whips don't match my...key? *collapses and falls asleep*

Jojo: Whoa...that was weird...a drunk Damon...not the best idea I've had...

Pam: I'm gonna kill him

Jojo: Sshh! He's saying something...

Damon: *whispers* I love Lady Gaga

Jojo: Gosh, record this please!

Stefan: *Has camera in hands* Gotcha covered haha.

Caroline: As much as I would like to watch Damon make a fool of himself, where's my gift?

Jojo: Here yah go! *hands Caroline a diamond necklace from the box*

Jojo: The wolf corner...I hereby give back all the shirts you lost because of those meddling fangirls, no offense, chi

None taken..

Jojo: No, Jacob doesn't get a shirt, that's a golden rule.

Jacob: Wait...I have a shirt?

Jojo: Leah as punishment for hogging all the choco...here's milk chocolate instead.

Leah: Thanks.

Katherine: Hand it over!

Leah: Bring it on!

Jojo: And last but not the least, Alice, dang girl! you wiped out my credit card *grins* So here's a ticket to Paris instead.

Alice: Yay!

Stefan and Chi: What about us?

Jojo: Chi, my fave non-character character...this is a gift you'd surely like *snaps fingers and the bedroom turns bigger and better*

Yay! I think I'm going to die from the happiness!

Jojo: Now, you don't have to worry of any blood...or bones anywhere or wreakage...now you have a plasma t.v. and a jacuzzi here also :-D

Pam: We need a popcorn machine in here.

Everyone: *Nods *

Katherine: And a chocolate fountain.

Leah: You disgust me.

Katherine: Same here.

Jojo: As for you Stefan, hands him a vial, drink it so you'd heal more quickly from sudden "holes" in your body

Stefan: *Smirks* That's all?

Jojo: Of course not!

*Stefan and jojo make out...the both of them disappear in thin air*

Caroline: Should we be worried?

Tyler: She left a note...

P.s. Chi...just borrowing Stefan for smoochy time he'll be back...soon...anyway tnx again for such wonderful update...Tell Rogue I appreciate her Thanks and I left an awesome gift for her, too...It's the sword wrapped in foil at the back of your new bed XD toodles!

888Ten hours Later88888

Damon: ...Why do I have a lamp?

Pam: Why don't you ask Chi?

...Yay! *Rolls around on the floor *

Caroline: Someone looks happy about the new room.

Eric: *Watches Real Housewives * I wonder if I kill them all will they just get new people?

Pam: You can try if you want.

Eric: *Evil smirk * I can't stand reality tv.

Yeah …..sure.

*Hammering is heard in the tent area... then drilling... finally a curtain appears in the area where the backroom was*

Charity: What that racket, it's worse that when Damon and Stefan tried to do me together...*Chi blushes*

Damon: I'm trying to forget that.

Alice: *Coming from behind the curtain* It's Eric and Rogue finishing up the new backroom.

Pam: *Coming out from behind the curtain with her step children* You are going to love it! They have a firemans pole and a stripping pole! Rogue said they will throw us a new nursery further from the backroom in for fun.

Jacob: *Still wearing nothing but speedos and carrying beams for the backroom* There's a rack and a saint James cross and angle grinder and chainsaws in the torture room along with different kinds of swords, I want to torture someone tooo!

Katherine: Come here my honey mutt and we can torture each other...

Jacob: *Runs away behind curtain*

Caroline: *Dressed as the queen of Sheeba whips Edward, Bob and Sam as they cart building material like Egyptian slaves* Move slaves move! I'll whip harder! Faster Ed Dog MUSH MUSH!

Damon: *Sipping vodka and lime* And that?

Pam: Rogue's idea, Caroline is to whip those 3 non stop this entire update...

*Jacob and Eric come out from curtain carrying Rogue on their shoulders*

Rogue: Hi people! Presenting the new and improved backroom!

*Curtains drop and everyone claps*

*Eric and Rogue each take one of Charity's hands*

Eric: Shall we take you around you new den of inequity?

Charity: As long as no one tries to torture me! *Looks at Katherine*

Rogue: Naah Jacob and Castiel promised me they would keep her occupied in the sex dungeon... after we've toured there.

Stefan: How are there 2 doors?

Rogue: The same way you had 2 heads when I fused you and Edward or do you want a replay?

Stefan: No no replay *whipers* mother mary full of grace...?

Leah: Why is vamptwit praying?

Damon: You'd pray too if Rogue didn't like you...?

Seth: Thank the good fate's she likes you and finds me bearable!

Eric: The door on the left is the pleasure rooms and the one on the right is the Torture studio.

Alice: Let's start with the pleasure room! I designed it!

Katherine: I can see from the bright canary yellow...

Alice: *Hits Katherine with a shovel* it's peach bitch! We have a big round bed here and a Jacuzzi big enough to fit 30 and a steam room.

Rogue: And a HUUUUGe shower cause shower sex with Eric is Epic!

Charity: The room's great, can someone explain the firemans pole in the middle...

Rogue: Oh this... this is for the EPD Dungeon...

Leah: EPD?

Alice: Eric, Pam and Damon

Everyone: ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Rogue: Shall we? *Slides down pole*

Dean: I LOVE the big black heart shaped bed with the red hearts!

Pam: You and Sam are never allowed in here together... ever... use Chi's room!

Damon: I love all these sex toys pinned on this wall...

Eric: Oh Steffie don't you like these hand cuffs coming from the roof...

Stefan: I'd like to handcuff Caroline and spank her...

Everyone: 0_o

Castiel: Ready Jacob...

Jacob: *Wiggle's ass to hypnotize Katherine* Ready

Katherine: *Drooling and dazed*

Castiel: *Handcuffs Katherine upright and uses a spreader bar on her legs* I think we shall whip my evil she wench...

Caroline: Let's leave them alone and visit the next room...

*Everyone get's on the lift and enters the Torture studio*

Charity: Ohhh look a pool! *Runs towards pool...

Alice: *Grabs Chi* No Charity! Remember this is a torture room!

Eric: There are 3 pools, one filled with Crocodiles *Caroline Tosses Edward to the Crocodiles*

Pam: Another filled with Sharks *Rogue tosses Sam in and Dean jumps in after him*

Alice: And the last one has Piranha's *Eric throws Bob in*

Charity: ….O.o.

Elena: No my baby daddy... well one of them! *Rogue kicks Elena into the Piranha tank*

Rogue: For the last time, Nina is Eddie's kid and that pasty looking kid you call Damon Jnr is Bob's kid stop trying to pass Damon off as one of your whack kid's daddy's.

Pam: Shall we go outside? The smell of blood is making me hungry and I need to take the children out to eat a few people...

Rogue: Katherine you are so right we should make Damon drink bleach to wash the Elena outta him - Delena makes me ill Damon is too good for any of those girls... maybe Rebekkah is good for him...

Damon: I'm good with anything so don't bleach me.

Rogue: The only people who need to take STD's are Sam and Dean... all that incest and the baby on the way with Sam being a hermaphrodite and all that...

John Winchester: Sam, Hermaphrodite! Baby! *John pants, grabs chest and falls down the stairs*

Dean: DAD! *Goes down stairs after John*

Sam: What... I'm pregnant you don't expect me to run around!

Charity: You were just thrown into a shark tank...

Sam: It's this room, it's heals all wounds...

Katherine: Can the room heal this? *Pulls out Bella's eyes and chews on the nerves*

Bella: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh *Katherine pulls out her head and drinks the blood from her body then give's the head to Pam*

Pam: Vampire soccer anyone?

Jacob: Save it for the next update...

Rogue: I am now done *Grabs Chi and makes out with her* I'm so glad you didn't go into the light with your pretty boobs... come we shall go play in the new pleasure room *Rogue whispers in Chi's ears* and if you're really good I'll take you into the dungeon...

Rogue: BTW thanks for the gift JoJo, super epic I got to slice and dice Dean with it earlier,time to bounce.

Damon: Come little Salvatore's we are going on a family hunt with mother Pam to eat all the little bastards in Forks...

Stefan: I won't let you teach the children to be monsters! *Stefan get's hit with a boomerang*

Rogue: *Carrying Chi over her shoulder* Bring back Fan Girl Wars!

Fangirls: FGW FGW FGW FGW FGW

Rogue: I'm on Damon, Pam, and Eric's side, Caroline you can run the show while I molest the host... bwahahahahahahaha

O.o!

Caroline: ...Okay!

Tyler: This is why we need a Wolves Corner Show. You can visit Caroline.

Caroline: Maybe she do it? Knowing her it's going to be put off for a while.

Dean: *Sighs * He died again.

Edward: Like that isn't new.

Stefan: *Shakes head * How many little Damon's is running around.

Katherine: Probably a billion. Asshole.

Bella: Wow. That room does heal quickly.

Katherine: *Kicks Bella *

Alice: I kinda feel so sorry for the Bella lovers on the show.

Pam: I'm surprised that she hasn't gotten bashed yet.

Caroline: She did! There are people who didn't like the whole Bonnie, Damon thing.

Damon: ...What are you guys talking about?

Caroline: The whole you and Bonnie thing.

Damon: *Shrugs * I'm with Pam now. As long as I take care of my kids then everything is good.

Katherine: I say let's burn him for good measure.

Alice: You're just extra bitchy today.

Katherine: Can't you tell.

====Days Later====

Vie: Hello everyone!

Damon: Yo. Haven't seen you in forever.

Caroline & Alice: Hi!

Tyler: Wolves Corner for 2012!

Everyone else: ...What did he just say?

Vie: ...Chi, as always you are a joy!

Thank ...you...*Falls down *

Damon: ….

Stefan: You okay?

I'm...gonna sleep for a bit.

Vie: Guys and Gals, wassup?

Katherine: Do you have some chocolate?

Alice: Not everyone is going to have chocolate Katherine.

Katherine: God your annoying.

Vie: I really don't have much to say except where the hell are Bonnie and Tara? It's like they've been ignored and that hurts my feelings! Also, Stefan and Tara belong Together!

Stefan: ...I know! *Cries*

Damon: *Places his hand on Stefan's shoulder * There ….there?

Vie: Damon, and Dean, I misses you guys most.

Damon: Thanks!

Dean: *Blows a kiss * We need more Dean fans.

Vie: Gotta go, work, work, and more work. Smooches!

Thanks Vie and welcome back!

Sam: Shows over! I'm going to bed!

So I've been thinking about what I should do for the upcoming 100th chapter. I really have no idea what to do but it's going to be good ...hopefully and I really want to know...what's your favorite quotes in the show? Or what's your favorite chapter? I don't know but I'm really happy to come back and write some more. It does a heart good but I think I'm rotting some brains along the way. So I want to that FutureActressKS, Jojo Meinne, Rogue Assasin, and Vie for reviewing and to all the readers out there who read these crazy things. Peace!

Alice: Love.

Damon: And vote for your favorite character. So we can kick some bastards out!

You think Bonnie and Tara will come back?

Pam: *Shrugs * I guess.

Katherine: ...No.

Alice: No one asked you.

Edward: I'll still be on here, right?

Bella: I wanna go home!

Bye guys!

Damon: Vote for me! Or die!

Stefan: You're stupid.


	89. Operation Repo Damon's car

Shows they can't do together

Operation repo!

Damon: Hey, hey, hey what the fuck are you doing to my car?

Stefan: Looks like their repoing your car.

Damon: I see that dick weed.

Stefan: Wow you have a brain, making up new words, oh yeah the sixty called to get their insult back.

Damon: You shut up and you *points at Lou* give me my fucking car back.

Lou: It says you payment is over due.

Damon: Over due my ass. I brought this with real money, not that monopoly money they give you for this dumb ass reality tv.

Lou: It says your three months late.

Damon: Don't you put my car on that truck!

Lou: Sonya lift it.

Sonya: *Pushes a button and makes the car go up*

Damon: HEY!

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Video confessional

Matt:I knew this man would get violent so I did my best to calm him down. But is it me or is his boyfriend Edward Cullen?

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Matt: Calm down man.

Damon: Why are you all red like a lobster? Just give me my car. *Walks over the car but gets blocked Matt*

Matt:No man.

Damon: Okay man...*Takes a few steps back * Think fast! *Tears off Stefan shirt and covers him in glue then throws him onto the car *

Sonya: You're kidding me!

Damon: *Kicks Matt *

Stefan: *Tries to get up but glued to the hood *

Damon: Don't mess up the paint job!

Stefan: You better hope I don't shit on it!

Lou: *Tries to pull him off* You sticky bastard!

Stefan: What kind of glue is it?

Damon: Don't know ...unicorn glue?

Stefan: …. I fucking hate you.

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*Music Starts *

Everybody, everybody!

Everyone: (get down, get down now)

S-s-sstand up!

Damon: (Don't be shy)

People, people, people,

Alice: (get up, get up, get up)

Everybody, everybody

Everyone: (Testify)

Everybody! Everybody!  
Get down, get down now  
S-s-s-stand up, don't be shy!  
People, people, people  
Get up, get up, get up,  
Everybody Testify!

Sam: GeneCo helped me upgrade my second-class heredity!

Testify!

Bella: My liver was wrecked, but now I can drink whatever I want!

Testify!

Edward: Before GeneCo, my anatomy was completely repressed!

State your names!

Eric, Pam, Dean: Geneterns... *Moans *

… Yay!

Damon: *Covers my eyes * This is why you don't have guys reading your story.

*Sighs * Let me finish the song!

Damon: Whatever.

S-s-s-s-s-saved!

Everyone: Everybody, everybody,  
Get down, get down now  
S-s-s-stand up, don't be shy!  
People, people, people,  
Get up, get up, get up,  
Everybody, everybody,  
Tes. Ti. Fy!

Jacob : I needed a kidney transplant desperately  
GeneCo showed this single dad sympathy  
This makeover came for a small added fee  
Now I look smashing on live TV! *Pulls off thong*

Wow!

Damon: *Growls *

Sam & Dean: You know you want it, baby!  
GeneCo's got it!  
You know you want it baby!  
GeneCo's got it!  
You know you want it baby!  
GeneCo's got it!  
You know you want it baby!

Everyone: Testify!  
Testify!  
Testify!  
Testify!  
Testify!

Everyone, everyone let's make genetics your bitch!

Edward: Testify!

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So what happened after that?

Damon: I threw Matt and Lou somewhere. But this goth looking chick kept throwing random stuff at me.

Stefan: My chest hurts.

Looks like there's some skin missing.

Damon: I peeled him off without hurting my car.

Stefan: Pieces of my stomach on that damn car.

Katherine: Hahaha!

Bella: *Gags * Gross!

Elena: *Nods *

Alice: Let's just start the show kay?

Oh Kay...where's the wolf corner gang?

Elena: Something about freedom?

Jacob's still not wearing nothing?

Elena: *Nods *

*Perverted smile *

Damon: *Coughs *

You're not my wife!

Damon: Who wants to marry you shorty?

*Gasp *

Alice: Can we start the show you guys?

Future:I vote for Er-

Damon: *grabs Future and kisses her*

Future: Eric get him off me!

Damon: You're supposed to love me!

Future: *cries*

Elena: Shame on you, Damon, why do you care that she's ignoring you now.

Katherine: What's going on?

Alice: I don't know but I always bring popcorn.

Katherine: Blood flavor?

Alice: Of course.

Future: What I wanted to say was that I vote for -

Future: Get off me Damon!

Damon: But...But.

Future: I vote for Katerine! Fine! Though I love you Eric!

Eric: *Smirk*

We have a vote for Katherine!

Katherine: BOOYAY BITCHES!

Future: Chi, look what Eric got me! *holds out cute calico kitten* I named him Damon, only because I know Damon's been harassing my other cats!

Stop harassing cats. *Slaps Damon's wrist *

Damon: She said the cat, not me.

Future: Kiss? (asking Eric)

Eric: *Kisses Future *

Future: *sigh*

Future: I love you-

Future: Damon, I swear that you have some sort of problem, especially when you climbed into bed with me in the middle of the night, and this time I'm not sorry for stabbing you. Now spit out whats really on your mind.

Eric: *hugs Future*

Damon: ...Wait what?

Future: *Hits Damon with a brick *

o.o A magical brick!

Bonnie: I don't think it works like that.

Where have you been?

Bonnie: Been here, been there, been on a few dates and stuff.

Cool. So the magical brick, can we make it happen?

Bonnie: *Rolls eyes then sigh *

Rogue: Hey Guys! How are you all doing? So how does everyone like the new backroom?

Everyone: It's good.

Rogue: Pam how is the new nursery, the neon green walls add a certain zing don't ya think?

Pam: *Looking tired and over worked* I think it over stimulates my step children, Damon 7 get back here! *Pam chases step kid with a wooden spoon*

Katherine: Domesticated much? *Pam's stiletto flies and stabs Katherine between the eyes* Can't you see I'm pregnant bitch!

Should have known.

Sam: Yeah me too beeatches

Damon: *Shaking his head while shaking one of his kids* Lame dude extremely lame.

Stefan: Isn't there a law against shaking children...

Damon and Pam: *Growling at Stefan*

Pam: You think you know better?

Damon: Why don't you watch them for the next 3 chapters

Edward: Shot yourself in the foot I see...

Stefan: *Shoots Edward in the head* We need more guns. *twitch *

Rogue: You know who I really really miss - Beatrix she was soooooo uber cool and had such awesome sexy ideas... come back Beatrix!

Yeah! Come back! With cake!

Damon & Stefan: *Slaps forehead *

Rogue: Anyway I've started watching Lost Girl - it's so cool - it's about a bisexul succubus and her side kick Kenzi is soooo epically cool. I found my wolf equivalent of Eric there... Dyson is just so animalistically sexy with the way he growls - his slight Irish accent does things to me... Sorry Eric you've been knocked to number 3 and Damon is number 2 my new number one is Dyson... Yum... Dyson's partner Hale ain't to bad either in the suave Usher way.

Eric: *Growls *

Rogue: I have lotsa favorite chapters and quotes so I can't pick one, when Damon and Stefan fight its awesome but I really want to watch Katherine kick Stefan's ass, Eric obliterate Edward, Damon beat Dean, Leah kick Sam and Jacob beat up Tyler... among other things.

Katherine: *Evil smile *

Stefan: *Sighs *

Rogue:We should have another ask Damon. You up to it?

Damon: Yeah, ask me anything...

Stefan: Haha.

I think we should go down the list like from Damon to Stefan and on down...even ask questions to me!

Damon: No one cares!

Aw.

Rogue: We should have a Stefan and Damon go to True Blood, Have we had one? I don't remember but it would be fun for the to go to Eric's club... as strippers... woooohooooo

Don't we have one already? A ...tru thanksgiving? Maybe?

Damon: Don't wanna be reminded of it.

Rogue: Anyway got to rock my lovelies, I have a naked rippling Dyson to watch and drool over... every girl should have a Dyson! *Rogue kisses Chi a pet, Pam and Alice then Damon and Eric* Bye guys

*Rogue snaps her fingers as she flames out and Bella and Elena's heads explode*

Everyone: O.o!

Tara: Oh shit. Leave and this is what I come back to?

Stefan: ...How's your girlfriend?

Tara: Don't want to talk about it.

*Sings* DRAMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAA!

Damon: *Slaps me in the back of the head *

Ouch!

Damon: Stupid. There's a time and place for things.

Future: Damon, I found our child! *holds baby Rachel*

Rachel: *cooeing*

Damon: Don't ignore me this time!

Future: So, Eric, thank you for last night, love. *winks*

Damon: *Twitch* HEY!

Katherine: Ohhhh! Can I hold the baby? Pretty please!

Future: Sure

Damon: O.o

Future: Okay, Edweirdo, you rudely interrupted my sleep over with Eric last night.

Katherine: Pffttt, sleepover.

Edward: I'm not sorry either!

Future: *glares* and Edweirdo was trying to steal some of my clothes. *Smashes Edwards face into the ground, then stomps on his face over and over* You being a little perve was watching us.

Katherine: Wait...I thought you hated Eric. I also thought you were head over heels in love with Damon.

Future: *Twitch* I'm so over Damon, and Eric's been...just amazing.

Katherine: Must suck being replaced.

Damon: Shut up.

Rogue: Hey people, I forgot to vote! I vote Damon and Pam.

One vote for Damon, and one vote for Pam!

Rogue: BTW the next fangirl to announce her 'pregnancy' is getting a hysterectomy a'la Rogue, we fixed Damon get it? 'fixed' as in we cut the tube the baby making goo uses so no baby batter no pregnancy.

But what about before we fixed him.

Everyone: *Looks at Damon *

Damon: I get around okay!

Rogue: Pregnant' fangirls is lame - I feel sorry for you... *Shakes head *On the other hand... pregnant Sam is fun! So what name should we give the unholy progeny of incest? I was thinking Bobby or John jnr

John Winchester:*Gasping up stairs grabs chest and falls down them again*

Dean: *Rolling eyes* You go after him Sam.

Sam: *Wearing red high heels and a red summer dress and putting on lipstick* I'm trying to look pretty! You do it!

Damon, Stefan, Eric, Pam: *Start moving to the other end of the room away from the weird winchester children*

Katherine: You too cassy poo, I don't want you picking up any more bad habits from those bastards, the only bad habits you can pick up are from Jacob *Katherine, Jacob and Castiel start making out*

Damon: I just threw up the red head from lunch...

Stefan: I just threw up Bambi

Casterine: *Starts crying*

Katherine: *Pushes Castiel and Jacob* YOU. MADE. MY. BABY. CRY! NOW. DIE!

*Katherine and Stefan start fighting*

Chi a pet: She shouldn't do that - second baby and all...

Castiel: Meh - she'll be fine, So Chi tell me you like the name Samean.

It's...

Jacob: *Slaps Castiel* It sounds too much like semen now kiss me you all powerful insane angel!

Everyone: *Except Katherine and Stefan* O_o

Katherine: Die! *pulls of Stefan's arm and beats him with it*

Stefan: After you bitch! *Pulls Katherine's hair*

Rogue: Okay, I've voted Damon and Pam, now it's time for me to go have my afternoon siesta bye my lovelies - and Charity see you later ... begging on your knees...

O.O!

Damon: This show is weird...really,really, weird.

*Nods *

Caroline: …. I can't leave you guys for a minute without you blowing things up.

Nothing is..

Caroline:*Points to the bomb in the corner*

RUN!

BOOOMMMMM!

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

The room is safe!

Edward: *Coughs * Katherine didn't have to stuff the bomb down my throat!

Katherine: You're still whole.

Edward: I hate you.

Future: …

Edward: Death will befall you.

Future: *Hits Edward with a magical brick*

….

Future: *Singing* I wanna dance with somebody *grabs Eric*

Damon: *Twitch*

Future: You know, Damon, I could make you sing too.

Damon: Ugh, please don't!

Future: hmmmmm

Future: What song shall we make Damon sing? Any suggestions anyone?

Stefan: *Evil smirk *

Damon: God why?

Stefan: Born this way.

*Songs starts *

Damon: ...I fucking hate you.

Stefan: I love you too big brother.

Damon: *Sings* It doesn't matter if you love him, or capital H-I-M  
Just put your paws up  
'cause you were born this way, baby

My mama told me when I was young  
We are all born superstars  
She rolled my hair and put my lipstick on  
In the glass of her boudoir

"There's nothing wrong with loving who you are"  
She said, "'Cause he made you perfect, babe"  
"So hold your head up girl and you'll go far,  
Listen to me when I say"

I'm beautiful in my way  
'Cause God makes no mistakes  
I'm on the right track, baby  
I was born this way  
Don't hide yourself in regret  
Just love yourself and you're set  
I'm on the right track, baby  
I was born this way

Oh there ain't no other way  
Baby I was born this way  
Baby I was born this way  
Oh there ain't no other way  
Baby I was born this way  
I'm on the right track, baby  
I was born this way

Don't be a drag ‒ just be a queen _[x3]_  
Don't be!

Give yourself prudence  
And love your friends  
Subway kid, rejoice your truth  
In the religion of the insecure  
I must be myself, respect my youth

A different lover is not a sin  
Believe capital H-I-M (Hey hey hey)  
I love my life I love this record and  
Mi amore vole fe yah (Love needs faith)

Don't be a drag, just be a queen  
Whether you're broke or evergreen  
You're black, white, beige, chola descent  
You're Lebanese, you're orient  
Whether life's disabilities  
Left you outcast, bullied, or teased  
Rejoice and love yourself today  
'cause baby you were born this way

No matter gay, straight, or bi,  
Lesbian, transgendered life,  
I'm on the right track baby,  
I was born to survive.  
No matter black, white or beige  
Chola or orient made,  
I'm on the right track baby,  
I was born to be brave.

I was born this way hey!  
I was born this way hey!  
I'm on the right track baby  
I was born this way hey!  
I was born this way hey!  
I was born this way hey!  
I'm on the right track baby  
I was born this way hey!

Same DNA, but born this way.  
Same DNA, but born this way.

Future: *Claps* Brava Damon, just fantastic.

Damon: *Walks over to Stefan and slaps him*

Future: Haha, I do so love torturing you my bitch

Damon: I am not your bitch!

Future: Whatever you say, Damon.

Damon: Pfft.

Future: Under my bed this morning, I found a little gift, all wrapped up, and inside of it was a cat suit, so does anyone want to fess up who did it?

...Why is everyone looking at me?...W-w-what's wrong with a cat suit! But it wasn't me! Really!

Katherine: Right.

Future: You want me to stop ignoring you, Damon, then do something that will win me back.

Damon: *Folds arm * Like what?

Alice: Chocolate!

Jacob: Strippers!

O.o. You're not old enough to see strippers.

Jacob: Says you!

Vie: Awe! I love the warm welcomes they bring me joy! So how's everyone? Pam, still with Damon I see. Hmmm, even with all those children and baby mamas, you just seem like the kind of Vamp that doesn't do children AT ALL!

Pam: I've learned to love them...even if I think their plotting something against me.

Vie: Chi, where's Jack? I brought ten bottles of his favorite and I wanted to give them to him. Oh well, anybody want some Rum? No? More for me!

Jack: WAIT! Hand over the Rum love. When ever there's rum, I'll be there.

Katherine: AA is calling for you.

Jack: Fuck off AA!

Vie: Katherine, I have to apologize because you're the nice twin of that **cough/skank** Elena, well you're the original and I always bring you chocolate. It was a dark time and I'm sorry so I brought you assorted chocolates; knock yourself out!

Katherine: *Punches Elena and takes the chocolate*

Alice: ...

Vie:Stefan, you know I love you right? I do but the fan girls got your mind twisted. So I'm only going to say this once:...you + Tara = PERFECT! Now, you know what you need to do. *wink wink**. BTW, here's a nice healthy juicy rabbit for you to sip on so you can plan Operation Tara's Heart!

Stefan: *Twitch* If that's possible.

Vie: Tyler and the other werewolves, I gotcha and would be the first to head up your campaign! I need a group hug from you sexy beasts sans Leah! No offense Leah, it's just you're a girl and I'm a girl and I'm totally into boys and lets face it, Tyler, Jacob and the whole wolf pack got something you don't...(ps- fill in those dots).

Leah: ...Pfft.

Jacob:Hugs!

When did you guys get back?

Leah: We made a wrong turn.

Seth: ….She and Tyler fought all the way to where ever we were going.

Jacob: Mommy and daddy fight too much .

Leah: Don't pair me up with that idiot!

Caroline:Yeah! He's mine!

Vie: Damon my heart, I can never truly hate you but killing Bonnie's mother came close. But then I look at you and you open your mouth and say stuff that makes you the asshole you are and then, BAM, I'm back into you. I hate that, I guess I can see why Elena forgave you for all the stuff you did to her and her family! You handsome devil you!

I would have shot him in the face if that were me.

Bonnie: I came so close...so,so close.

Damon: I'm right here.

Bonnie: If you wasn't a good dad I would have ended you.

Damon: You still want me.

Bonnie: Where's the magical brick.

Somewhere. *Hides behind my back*

Vie: Dean, don't worry! You have a serious fanbase, how could you not...,have you seen and heard yourself? You are scrumptious and I just want to eat you up!

Dean: I need more fans here.

Vie: Sam! Hey boo boo! I can never leave you out! Hoe's the cutest most sweetest man in the world? You're awesome babe, never change!

Sam: *Sighs* I want ice cream! Now!

Vie: Chi, how the hell are you? Still going strong with this fic I see? Greatness! And HELLS yes Bonnie and Tara should be all up and through, I mean everyone else does plus they're witches at least I think Tara is witch because Laffayette is so its in her blood. Plus, I can't be the only person here that adore them can I? Who cares, I love them and they would be awesome in this fic!

Tara: Stop staring at me Stefan.

Stefan: I'm glaring. Feel my pain.

Vie: Toodles everyone! Love ya Chi!

BYE! *Looks over at Bonnie * You're not getting the magical brick!

Bonnie: It doesn't have your name on …

*Pulls out a black marker and tries to write name *

Bonnie: *Tackles me * Hand it over!

NEVER!

Damon: *Throws popcorn at us *

Pam: What are you doing?

Damon: Making it rain.

Jojo: Hi guys! Chi you updated again, finally! I totally loved the chapter with Jake and Finn...as crazy as it sound I totally love watching adventure time! Land of Ooo is awesome! And Peppermint butler rocks!

I know my favorite character is Marceline! *Geeking*

Damon: She's foaming at the mouth.

Jojo: So no gifts for today since "someone" decided it be nice to steal all the stuff in my room *glares at Damon*

Damon: Well, it wouldn't hurt for you to remember my name...or treat me more nicely.

Jojo: You are so immature.

Stefan: I whole - heartedly agree.

Jojo: *Turns to Stefan pointedly* Don't you have somewhere to be? Like a million yards away from me?

Damon: Baby brother got burned!

Jojo: Stefan, it's not you, it's me...Well,it is you...and your incest with Damiena.

Stefan: Wait! What!

Jojo: *ignores Stefan* Anyway since I'm all out of idea for gifts here's something for everyone *big pink ball of gum falls out of nowhere* TADAH!

Jojo: Isn't it awesome?

Damon: *narrows eyes at the ball* Somethings moving in it

*A piece of pizza crawls out of the ball of gum*

Jojo: No there isn't *kicks crawling pizza* *smiles nervously at everyone* So...who wants cookies?

Leah: Close your eyes Seth! It's EVILLL!

Jack: Does it have rum?

Jojo: No! It's made of gum...

Katherine: Gum? *runs toward the pink ball* *SPLOOOSSSH*

Thanks for stealing stuff Spot! *Slaps wrist * Bad boy.

Damon: I'll throw you out the window.

Katherine: *Mumbles through the gum* Thish ish aweshome!

Random guy: Gum fight! *throws random piece of gum*

Chi: *hits guy with a shovel* Not in my room!

Jojo: To think I could've done that better myself *winks at chi* that's really hot...

Alice: *munching* This gum is really good...

Jojo: I know right? It's the best idea I ever had since I got Damon drunk!

Damon: *growls* That was you?

Jojo: *laughs nervously* April fool's?

Pam: *smirks* It's May...

Jojo: Oh,shit. Chi! Save me! *runs behind chi*

Damon: You better get here in 3 seconds or else...

Jojo: I'm not scared of you!

Eric: Says the girl who's hiding behind the author.

Jojo: Hey! I thought you're on my side!

Damon: That's it, you asked for this *hauls Jojo on his shoulder*

Jojo: *Punches Damon* Let me go! Chi, do something!

Damon: *Growls at Everyone*

Stefan: I'll help you! *walks towards Damon*

Jojo: *rolls eyes* No, thank you!

Pam: *Blows a bubble * You wanna see something fun Chi!

Yeah!

Jojo: *Flails hands* Chi, your an author, HELP ME! or something... Anyone?

Pam: *Shows boobs*

*Dies *

Jojo: HEY!

Alice: Should we help her?

Eric: *Eating popcorn* No, this is better than real housewives..

Castiel: *Besides Eric, eating popcorn also* Why is he hauling her again?...

Eric: *whispers* It's about the drunken...pie thing and stuff

Leah: Ssshhh! He's taking her to the backroom...*munches on the popcorn*

Jojo: Still in need of help here!

Damon: *grins widely* This will be fun...

*Jojo&Damon disappear into the backroom*

Stefan: Don't touch her! *runs to the backroom*

*Pam hits him with a shovel*

Everyone: (O.O)

Pam: I've always wanted to do that *hauls Stefan's body to a corner*

Seth: *poking what's left of the pink ball of gum* What should we do with this?

Leah: Let's pack it and send it to Canada!

Jacob: With Katherine still on it?

Leah: *smirks* Even better! Wolves, get the tape!

-a few minutes later-

*Damon walks out*

Dean: Where's the girl?

Castiel: You didn't kill her,did you?

Damon: Oh no,no...that would be too...nice *singsongs* Oh darling!

Jojo: *somewhere from the backroom* SHUT UP YOU!

Damon: Come out,come out wherever you are!

Jojo: Not on your life...or snerfuffle's

Alice: Who's-

Pam: Stefan

Damon: Don't make me-

Jojo: I'm out.I'm out *Jojo comes out in a sexy maid suit*

Eric: Rawr! *licks lips*

Jojo: I feel violated!

Jacob: We all do!

Tyler: I second the motion!

Eric: *purrs at Tyler* Oh you know you like it

Damon: So what are your orders?

Jojo: Go to hell

Damon: *vampire face* Say again?

Jojo: *sighs* Call you master Damon

Damon: Good now feed me these grapes

Jojo: *smirks* sure...*feeds Damon grapes*

*Damon falls unconscious*

Eric: *Hauls Damon on his shoulder* It's my turn now

Jojo: I'm so glad I'm not him ...

Eric: *turns to jojo* Sure you don't want to join? We can't go wasting that outfit

Jojo: *gags* You go die first

Eric: I'll take that as a no *leaves with Damon*

Tyler: *turns to Pam* Shouldn't you go help him?

Pam: You're right, I'll get the camera! *runs to backroom*

Jojo: So,everyone, where's my gum? and apparently,Katherine?

Jacob: Somewhere. Shouldn't we save Chi or something?

Jojo: *smirks* Thank you Canada, Hello Castiel...

Castiel": Hello.

Jojo: *Kisses Castiel* You are just...H-O-T,hot...

Alice: *Cries* Don't go to the light! We have Justin Biber right here!

Huh! *Shoots up * Where?

Jojo: *turns to Edward&Bella* Didn't think I forgot you two did I? *Hits the two with a shovel*

Jojo: Elena,Haul these two to the torture room...

Elena: Sure, sure.

Jojo: *sweet voice* I'll turn up your collar even higher if you do...

Elena: OKAY! *Grabs Bella's and Edward's body and drags them*

Jojo: Jack, I feel that I'm neglecting you too much.

Jack; Thanks for noticing that love.

You where sleep in the closet the whole time!

Jack: As she said, I've been neglected!

Jojo: *hands jack a case of rum* So here's your rum.

Jack: Hahaha! Thanks love.

Jojo: Sam,Dean I know I don't pay attention to ya'll that much so if ever my gum comes back you can have it...

Dean: No. We're okay.

Sam: *Nods *

Jojo: Well, I'm done here,I've got torturing to do, Chi you're awesome and I totally love you for such recent update for that here's chocolate Logan Now, you don't mind if I borrow Castiel eh?

*Disappears with Castiel to the torture room* FIN :-D

*Pervert face* Logan is all mine!

Tara: Do your afterword first!

Fine. Thanks for reading this crazy thing. Right now I'm fangirling over Adventure Time, The legend of Korra, and Repo the genetic opera! So we got votes on Katherine, Damon, and Pam. We needs more votes! But I know I was suppose to update earlier but my dogs ate my laptop. Again. I have bad luck with those, so I have to rewrite a bunch of stuff that felt kinda weird like the Damon and Stefan story and the Katherine and Bonnie Story. But it was my fault for not saving them on my mediafire thing. So thank you FutureActressKS, Rogue Assasin, Vie, and jojo meinne for reviews and thxs for giving me 1,215 reviews. Also thanks to the readers who put up with this wild and crazy story like the bosses you are. Don't forget it's ask Damon chapter next time!

Edward: Gay.

...Shut up. So Peace!

Alice: Love.

Damon: And Pepper spray.

*Blush*

Damon: You perverted brat. *Dresses up in a cat suit*

Well I can die happy now!

Damon: I can help you with that?

*Runs*

Damon: *Chases after me*

Sam: Bye! Crap, I gotta sit down.

Bonnie: What do they do to you?

Tara: *Shakes head*


	90. Want to kill a God?

Show's They Can't Do Together!

The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya!

Haruhi: Put this on Mikuru! *Pulls on Mikuru's shirt*

Mikuru: Please…NO! ...Stop It!

Damon: …Where are we at this time? A Japanese porno set?

Stefan: *Shrugs* Nothing really surprises me anymore.

Kyon: Are we just going to sit back and watch this?

Mikuru: Save me!

Koizumi: *Laughs* It's best not to be in the way if it involves Miss Suzumiya. But don't you think this is fun?

Stefan: *Mutters* It's so funny I thought I heard the cops laughing a block away.

Kyon: I doubt that. She might turn them into fairies.

Damon: Hmmm…. *Watches Mikuru trying to break free and shakes his head*

Nagato: *Just sits there and reads a book*

Haruhi: You know what I feel like doing now?

Kyon: Dear God!

Koizumi: What do you want to look for Miss Suzumiya?

Haruhi: I want to capture a real live vampire!

*Everyone's quite*

Kyon: I thought you said that all that kind of stuff was fake and you didn't want to deal with that crap.

Haruhi: I thought so to until I watched these news stories! *Let's go of Mikuru*

Mikuru: *Falls to the floor and sighs*

Damon: Poor kid.

Haruhi: I saw that there are real vampires in the world and one could be right next to you!

Nagato: *Looks over at Damon and Stefan*

Haruhi: *Huffs* If you don't believe me then I'll show you! *Runs out the classroom*

Kyon: *Sighs* The 'Vampires' are in this room huh?

Koizumi: Miss Suzumiya is really amazing! *Claps hands*

Damon: *Places hands on both cheeks and says bored* Oh no! Looks like we've been found out.

Stefan: *Boredly* And we were really hiding too.

Kyon: I'm really not surprised. She has a way of finding things she can't see.

Damon: Meaning?

Kyon: Time traveler *Points at Mikuru*, Esper *Points at Koizumi as he waves*, and the alien *Points at Nagato*.

Damon: And this is my fairy brother with no name. *Points at Stefan*

Stefan: And this is my baby making, big headed, assholish, Great Dane. *Flips off Damon*

Damon: *Pushes Stefan*

Stefan: You bas…*Narrows eyes* Are you sparkling?

Damon: Fuck you.

Stefan: No! I'm serious!

Damon: *Looks down at his hands* Shit!

Stefan: *Touches his teeth* Where are my fangs?

Kyon: That's 'God's' work for ya.

Damon: What?

Kyon: Where Haruhi thinks something is true, she makes it real.

Haruhi: *Comes back to the classroom* SEE! *Holding up a magazine*You can find them in the sunlight sparkling…*Eyes widen*

Nagato: *Jumps up and grabs Haruhi, then run down the hall*

Haruhi: NAGATI LET GO! I FOUND REAL VAMPIRES!

Damon: *Twitch* Wanna kill a god?

Stefan: We can finally point that Great Dane nose to some use!

Damon: I'll get you later dick!

Damon & Stefan: *Chases after Nagato and Haruhi*

Koizumi: Told you it will be fun. *Runs after them*

Mikuru: If they kill her then the world will end as we know it!

Kyon: SHIT! *RUNS*

* * *

Damon: *Twitches* These twilight jokes are getting old.

Oh hush! But I can't believe you destroyed a school…again.

Stefan: What school is safe from him?

Damon: Shut up.

Today you get to answer questions about yourself.

Damon: The terror.

*Laughs* It will be fun!

Damon: Yeah. Keep saying that.

Dean: Let's get this show going….where is the wolves corner bunch?

Probably protesting again for their on show. *Sighs*

Damon: Bunch of whiney babies if you ask me.

Sam: My nipples are leaking.

…Start the show, I'll go…just start the show. *Walks to Sam*

Bonnie: This shows get's weirder and weirder.

Tara: *Nods*

Future: Be a good bitch, Damon, and get me a dozen boxes of chocolate.

Damon: *Narrows eyes* Pfft. I'm no one's bitch.

Except for Chi's.

Damon: Except for…*Throws a chair at me*

OW!

Damon: That's what you get.

Future: Where's my buddy, Gir?

Gir: Right here!

Damon: Don't call on people! We're trying to get rid of them.

Stefan: Blah, blah.

Katherine: *Slaps Stefan*

Stefan: The hell!

Katherine: *Shrugs*

Future: Hey, Eric! *kiss*

Damon: *Twitch*

Future: Stop sneaking into my room, Damon.

Damon: Well…stop making your room so sneakable!

Stefan: Great comeback bro.

Katherine: *Slaps Stefan*

Stefan: *Growls*

Alice: Katherine's pregnant!

Stefan: …

Future: PARTY time! Who's with me?

Not me. I feel like I'm going to puke.

Sam: *Puppy eyes* I'm sorry.

Future: I love you, Damon.

Damon: You mean it?

Future: No, not really. Wanna be a good bitch or just sing again?

Damon: …I hate you all.

Future: *Falls into Damon's lap*

Damon: You gonna move?

Future: Nope.

Damon: …

Rogue: BELLA! *Rogue pounces on Bella and starts punching her in the face*

Katherine: A lot of thunder.

Damon: *Showing Stefan how to hold Damon 9 and feed him his blood bottle* Did we miss something?

Pam: *Changing her step daughter's PJ's* She's been watching wrestling and drinking redbull and powerplay again...

Rogue: *Still beating Bella* Die die DIE! *Rogue swings Bella by her hair till her head comes off then beats her body with her head*

Everyone: O_o *Starts grabbing a little Salvatore and moving towards the door*

Rogue: Where do you think you're going! *Point to Elena then grabs Elena by the hair shove's Bella's head up her ass and throws both Elena and what's left of Bella in the Shark pool*

Rogue: *Grins* Hello Everybody :)

Charity: Um hi...

Rogue: Don't be afraid I'm good now, see all my stress is gone.

Eric: I found it very... sexy, shall we adjourn to the backroom, the other night was amazing *looks at Damon and licks lips*

Damon: *Gags* Fuck you all!

Pam: *Laughs* But you enjoyed in honey.

Katherine: *Eating chocolate and talking with her mouth full* What happen? *Takes another bite while breast feeding Casterine*

Pam: Well in the last update Eric took Damon to the Dungeon in the backroom - Rogue was already waiting for them... She tied them both up and made them her bitches...

Stefan: *Laughs and points at Damon and almost drops the baby*

Damon: Don't laugh too much - my... penetration... was artificial - you got the real thing

Stefan: O_O

Alice: One of the Demon brats fed some of Jojo's cookie's to the rabbit you ate... After Rogue finished with Damon and Eric Damon needed to go change diapers

Charity: O_o you change diapers?

Damon: Comes with the territory *makes angry face* I should have got fixed sooner, anyone want to buy a few of my babies? I can only manage the four I had with Bonnie - they behave.

Bonnie: Surprisingly. *Baby Damon 12 slaps her*

Katherine: *Getting a back rub and foot massage from Castiel and Jacob* What happened next pixie?

Alice: *Growls at Katherine* Pam And Rogue went to the Pleasure room and Eric had his fun with drugged out Stefan and Tyler.

Caroline: You've been drinking bunnies! *Looks at Tyler in shock*.

Tyler: Stefan convinced me to try it... now my dark cherry is gone *cries*.

Leah: *points and Laughs* Told you stay in the wolf corner, it's safer here.

Rogue: I'll be back time for work :(.

Seth: *Sighs* At least I know my place. Never getting out of this corner.

Jacob: Can I put some pants on? It's chilly.

Nope.

Damon: People are so stupid.

* Jojo comes in bottle of rum in hand *

Jack: I'm alive again! *Takes the rum*

Everyone: 0.o

He was dead?

Damon: Pfft. I thought so.

Jojo: Oh my glob guys! I, like forgot to vote! So anyway as it is...I vote for Katherine because you rock...and Castiel's your baby-daddy...teehee.

Katherine: Good!

Alice: Is she drunk? *Looks at Jojo*

Castiel: *ponders* Looks so...

Jojo: I feel totally random today...ZOMBIES ARE COMING! *dances with a random zombie guy* Everyone! Let's shake our booties!

Alice & Caroline: Do not give her anymore rum.

Random zombie guy: Brains?

Eric: Even got the zombie looking confused.

Jojo: *hugs chi* Aw, chi you poor,poor baby! You had to rewrite all those nasty incest stuff. AGAIN? must've been traumatizing...

MY EYES!

Damon: You didn't have to write them.

*Perverted face* Yeah. Yeah I did.

Jojo: Leah, Tyler, you two, have my full support...for the new wolf couple! *more rum appears*

Leah: She kidding. Tell me she's kidding.

Caroline: Tyler is mine!

Jojo: This is like, alcoholic heaven!

…The zombie guy is coming over here.

Damon: Don't know why. You don't have a brain.

*Runs*

Random zombie guy: Brains!

Stefan: *Sighs* Someone give me the shovel.

Jojo: Pam, you are now in my hit list...for helping Damon *holds bottle of rum in the air* Snerfuffle, to you and Tara!

Pam: …

Jojo: Tara, I feel your pain, it hurts to have an Edward look-alike for a boyfriend, trust me, it's disturbing.

Tara: *Nods*

Stefan: *Chasing random zombie guy*

Jojo: *sings* Toniiiight,we are young

Let's set the world on fire, we'll burn brighter

Than the sun! *Everybody sings*

Katherine: I don't know but I like her even more when she's drunk.

Jojo: The Adventure time episode was my fave episode ever! Chi, I totally agree with you *lumpyspaceprincessvoice* like, totally! Marceline is like so awesome! And I'm like so lumpin' glad she didn't get infected by Damon!

Damon: *Shrugs*

Jojo: Anyway Chi I miss the days when the Wincester kids were just brothers and nothing more, don't you agree?

I wonder how that happened.

Dean: Like you don't know.

Sam: My feet are swelling.

Dean: …

Jojo: Damon, for the first time I totally agree with you, this show is VERY weird...and I like it! *kisses Damon*

Jojo call random zombie guy! *Runs*

Stefan: He's fast.

Damon: Use your spider monkey powers Edward.

Edward: Oh now you notice me.

Jojo: I'm out of rum! *flails hands* No more reason to live! I feel neglected, why isn't anyone giving me more rum yet?

Jack: Yeah. Give the lady more…*falls over*

Jojo: Sam, you look like a whale, and your baby is an anomaly...why is the government allowing that thing to live?

Sam: Your…being…mean! *Crys*

Dean: *Sighs*

Damon: That's what you…

Dean: Can it.

Jojo: Jacob I know you're hot and all but EVERYONE would appreciate if you put on clothes...This is too much NC-17! My eyes! *covers eyes*

Jacob: Thank you.

Pam: Nope.

Jojo: I know I'm ranting *sobs* But there's no more rum!

Jack: *On the floor* God why?

Jojo: *shakes hands of Bonnie and Tara* Sooo glad you're back...I'm your biggest fan! *hugs Bonnie*

Bonnie: Thanks.

Jojo: I have a question for ask Damon! So, Damon did you enjoy backroom time with Eric? Must've been fun huh? *Evil laugh*

Damon: *Throws up* I hate you!

Jojo: And Eric, my peepz! How 'bout we discuss your reward for saving me last chapter? My window's always open ;-)

Eric: *Smirks*

Jojo: Why does this room look all different? *looks around* Is that blood over there?

Maybe…zombie…blood…*Falls over*

Stefan: *Pants* Take that…bastard.

Jojo: Castiel, give me some love *kisses Castiel*

Castiel: *Blushes*

Katherine: I'll destroy you!

Jojo: MAGIC BRICK WAR! *hits Bella, Edward and Stefan with bricks*

…

Jojo: Apologies for my randomness but...blame it on the rum!

Katherine: There's more gum?

Jojo: *runs away* No! Pink ball of gum is MINE! MIIINNNEEE!

Everyone: …

Jojo: So that's it ...come Chi let's go cart racing with Logan! Jojo's out...PEACE!

Yay!

Damon: Don't kidnap Logan.

What are you my dad?

Damon: I can be.

…

Katherine: Gum! Come back! *On her knees* WHY?

==========3 Hours later======

Damon: What do you have behind your back?

Nothing.

Logan: SAVE ME!

Rogue: Hey Lovelies I'm back...

Sam and Dean: *Hiding behind Chi* Protect us great author.

Katherine: *Still shoving her mouth with chocolate* Don't wowi she used ha anger on BEwa and aina...

Stefan: 0_o

Pam: Bella and Elena.

Rogue: So for the ask Damon... Ahem

Q1 - Why Elena?

Damon: I was born that way.

That's not an answer.

Damon: Sue me.

Rogue; Q2 - If you could rewrite any show Chi did which one would it be and how would it be different?

Damon: The one where I had to watch little brats like Raven.

Stefan: Mad that you lost?

Damon: Bite me bastard.

Rogue: Q3 - Lady Gaga or Katy Perry?

Stefan: *Coughs* LadyGaga.

Damon: Die!...But yeah, Lady gaga.

Rogue: Okay Home time :)

Bye, bye!

LaLaLandGirl :I loved to read this whole fic! I love Damon, he was so cute! Always starting a fight :D I laughed so much (I was reading this at night) that I probably woke up whole house xDD.

*Blushes and rubs behind head* Thank you.

Damon: She's lying.

Shut up.

Pam: The show is finally over! I'm getting clean clothes.

Well thanks for reading and thanks for staying for the randomness of the show. Next will be questions for Stefan…

Damon: I didn't get that many questions!

Sucks for you Damon! Sorry for the lateness but a whole lot of crappy things happened to me but I won't let it weight me down! Thanks to FutureActressKS, Rogue Assasin, jojo meinne, and LaLaLandGirl for reviews. Peace!

Katherine: Love.

Stefan: And…*Katherine Slaps him*

…

Katherine: There was a fly.

There wasn't no…*Gets punched in the stomach*

Katherine: There's a lot of flys today!

Caroline & Alice: Bye guys!

*On the floor drooling*

Damon: Hahaha.

Katherine: *Punches Damon* Punchfest!

Dean: *Sighs*


	91. Dogs meet Bats

Show's They Can't Do Together!

Big Time Rush!

Logan: Aaaa…who is that? *Points to Damon and Stefan*

Gustavo: Dogs meet the Bats.

Damon: Really? ...*Licks lips* Do I have lipstick on?

Stefan: At least your clothes aren't….tight!

Gustavo: You guys are going to have a to collaborate. Now do it before I finished my song!

Kelly: …

Damon: *Blows a kiss to Kelly*

Kelly: *Rolls her eyes*

Kendall: Well we heard Gustavo. I guess we need some bonding time guys.

Damon: …

Stefan: …No.

Carols: Sure we go eat some corn dogs by the pool?

Damon: No.

James: What about cruising for girls.

Stefan: …

Kendall: Do you want to do anything?

Logan: Hey! I don't know but like get this girl of my.

*Drools*

Damon: …Why are you here?

I'm invisible. *Waves hands*

Kendall: No. We see you.

Damon: Just ignore her.

James: What do you have behind your back?

Nothing. *Looks around* I totally don't have a net behind me.

Kendall: *Shakes his head*

Shouldn't you guys like do something that will get you in trouble but you solve it while you sing?

James: …You're cute.

Damon: Back off.

Logan: We need bonding time. Before Gustavo comes back!

Damon: Hey Chi? Is this the Logan you like?

*Narrows eyes* Yes?

Damon: *Smirks*

Stefan & James: God what have you done!

*Hours later*

Gustavo: Hey dogs I've finished ….

Carols: YEAH! *Runs down the hallway with toilet paper, then runs into a wall*

Kendall: *Pees on a fire*

James: *Wrapped with Bandanas*

Damon: Stay away from my dog pretty boy.

...

Logan: *Taped and thrown in the closet*

Why you have to do that to Logan!

Damon: You wanna keep your head?

….Yes.

Stefan: …

Gustavo: !

Ah ah ahhh ahhhhhh!

* * *

We got kicked out! *Cries*

Damon: Gustavo had a heart attack and Kelly threatened us with silver knitting sticks.

Stefan: You didn't have to flirt with her.

He still flirted with her when she stabbed him in the forehead. Logan's scared expression looked so cute.

Damon: …Should have broken his spine.

Alice: Okay people let's start the show!

Yay! Today is ask Stefan! No holds bars! And stuff like that!

Stefan: …

Edward: …*Evil glare*

Damon: No one cares, let's just get on with the show!

Future: *Punches Damon*

Damon: WHAT THE...

Future: *Kisses Eric* Thanks for throwing Damon out of my room, but I'm dying to know what happened when you didnt come back.

Eric: *Smirks*

Damon: Wait. What?

Future: Gir, I brought you my special homemade pancakes.

Gir: Yeah!

Katherine: Please don't let it be weed in there.

Alice: *Sighs* My mistake!

Future: Damon...remember how I promised you could spend the day with Rachel? I seemed to have misplaced our child.

Damon: ...*Slaps forehead and mubbles*

Should have put a condom on.

Damon: This is Edward's fault. When do vampires make babies!

Edward: Don't blame me for your baby mommas drama.

Sam: My stomach hurts!

Damon: Yo Future! Don't ignore me!

Rogue: Hello to all my people and if you aren't my people you can go fuck yourselves :D

Bella, Elena, Edward: *grab phallic objects and walk towards the torture room*

Katherine: *Practicing her breathing exercises with Jacob* About time they accepted their fate to be tortured *Throws a shoe at Stefan's head* Now Stefan needs to accept my beatings!

Stefan: *Speaking through clenched* Just a few more months and then her baby will be out and then I will kick her ass!

Caroline: ...

Pam: *Spanking Damon 16* Don't you ever back talk like that again! Or I'll give you 100 spanks instead of 50! I'll spank you too Stefan with your Edward like features and caterpillar eyebrows.

Charity: Well they really are fitting in the domestic swing of things!

Damon: *Hands Charity an envelope* Happy 90th chapter *fake smile*

Charity: Will this blow up in my face? *Looks at envelope as if it were the devil*

Pam: No no it's a gift from me and Damon in fact everyone is getting gift even the reviewers! *Pam starts frantically shoving envelopes in everyone's hands*

Charity: *Opens envelope* O_O You're giving me one of your kids!

Stefan: Yes that way everyone will have a piece of Damon for themselves.

Charity: You're joining them!

Stefan: They peed all over my diaries and pooped on Elena's head...Hehe.

Pam: We aren't giving them all away we're keeping the 4 Bamon babies apart from Bonnie killing us they behave...

Alice: Where are castiel and Dean - Sam's in the bathroom crying

Damon: They went to purgatory remember, think we can send their envelopes to them there?

Stefan: The mailman can find anyone!

Rogue: So peeps what's been happening?

Nothing much...Little...whatever I'm going to name it just puked on me...

Alice: Ew.

Tyler: We are still here!

We know. You tell us every chapter.

Rogue: So it's ask Stefan huh, not that I care much about Stefan

Q1

Why don't you do something about those hideous brows?

Damon: Tried remember. Those bushes grow fast.

Stefan: ...

Rogue: Q2 Katy Perry or Lady Gaga?

Stefan: Katy Perry.

Why her?

Stefan: I just like her better than Lady Gaga.

You're still not happy that she made you kiss Damon huh?

Stefan: ...Barney's an asshole.

Alice: Who know that he was lady gaga?

Damon: Should have burned him alive.

You forgot what happened to you and Stefan, huh?

Damon: Why should I torture myself with bad memories.

Rogue: Q3 If you could knock anyone on this show up who would it be and why?

Stefan: Ahem, probably either Chi or Alice because they are the only ones that make any sences here.

*In the corner* I'm a little tea pot but that's okay.

Stefan: ...Alice.

Rogue: This Q is for both the Salvatore's

Pam: There's 3 of us now you know... *Flashes huge wedding ring diamond at the Damon fangirls*

Rogue: I meant the Salvatore brothers.

Pam: Yeah, yeah.

Rogue: Q4 What should we name the wincest baby? I was thinking Winston if it's a boy and Winnie if its a girl and what shall we name the new angel-vamp baby?

Damon: Damnit. Our mistake.

Bonnie: *Slaps Damon* You can't do that to a kid.

Ow! He bite me! ...I see blood! Is it suppost to be black? *Falls over* Oh my god. My eyes are going dark. And I woke up a man.

Wolves' corner: ...

This is by far the worst day of my life.

Katherine: *Kicks me* Stop idiot.

Rogue: *Shakes Head* I'm so tired, haven't been sleeping much because I wanted to finish Ghost files, Yusuke Uremeshi is awesome I wanna be a demon toooo :( I would have lots of fun! My Favorite has to be Heiei. Karama is cool but he looks wayyyyyyy too much like a girl is it me or dies Heiei have a striking resemblance to Vegeta?

I use to have a huge stalkerish crush on Hiei when I was younger! He was so cool and Kurama. His red hair! *Fangirl scream*

Katherine: Who votes for me to kick her in the throat?

*Shakes head* I'll be quite.

Rogue: Why is it that male anime characters tend to look a lot like women... freaky.

Hehehe. Pervert thought.

Damon: *Throws a chair* Stop being stupid.

Rogue: I think we should put Stefan and Damon in American Horror story next... That series is incredibly spooky.

Yeah. But too bad their talking about getting a new cast. I really hope they don't to that!

Rogue: I read the latest True Blood book, Charlain Harris has not only lost her touch but the plot. I can't believe how sucky the book was.. Eric you deserve better than Sookie, you deserve someone awesome!

Eric: Yeah!

Bella: Like me!

*Crickets*

Bella: Oh shut up.

Rogue: Caroline, Klaus in in Tyler's body so you kinda get em both... at the same time what an odd Threesome. Maybe this is how the producers intend on making Caroline pregnant... Pregnant vampires really...

Caroline: *Looks at Katherine, then at Sam then sighs*

Rogue: So have you guys watched the Avengers yet, it's awesome and Thor is mine! I Like Captain America as well but... that costume sucks so Thor is my man and he can take me to Valhalla any day!

Damon kept throwing popcorn on the screen and beat up some guy in the first row.

Damon: He should have sat down.

Stefan: You didn't have to yell Damon smash.

Damon: Yes I did.

Stefan: No you didn't.

Damon: Yes…I…did.

Rogue: I had a strange dream this morning... I was married to a rapist... do you have strange dreams?

…

Damon: What you dreamt of Edward.

Edward: Bite me.

Damon: I'm not into fairy dust.

Rogue: Anyway really random today. I want to go home and the clock is ticking way to slow I want a fast forward button. Well that's all the time I have good luck with the lactating Sam.

Sam: My nipples hurt and my belly is getting bigger.

…Please rip my ears off.

Rogue: Eric I will see you in the pleasure room.

Eric: *Blows a kiss*

Rogue: Bye guys and remember is you can't be good be bad.

Damon's a flip flopper!

Damon: Shut up Carrie.

Aw! How dare you. Do not invoke my god like powah!

Damon: If it's talking to much then I don't want to invoke it anymore.

Jerk!

blackNdeadly: You my dear, are one funny writer. You have wit, character and you know how to sell a story. Congrats on making such a wonderful story. I love it!

Thank you, thank you!

Damon: You're going to make her head blow up if you keep going.

Katherine: We really don't need that.

blackNdeadly: I have a couple of suggestions. I am from Australia and i think that it would be hilarious for an Aussie to come in and have fun with all the boys. See, not many people understand Aussie humour and some sick scene in my head between an Aussie and Damon, let's just say it would be hilarious. If you need help with the Aussie humour, don't hesitate to ask...

*Raises hands* I need help! That sounds…

Damon: Horrible.

Your get mad because you always get messed with.

Damon: That's the point.

blackNdeadly: But your story is hilarious...like really funny...Good job...

*Big goofy smile*

Alice: Aw she looks cute.

Katherine: Makes me want to puke.

Future: I love you, Eric.

Damon: *gag*

Future: *punches Damon 100 times*

Everyone: …

Future: *stabs Pam*

Future: I'm not an awful mother...I just happen to misplace Erin-

Katherine: You mean Rachel?

Future: Yea her, I always misplace her.

Rachel: *crawls around*

Future: OHHHHH I found her!

Damon: …Yeah…bring her over here.

Future: Damon, remind me why I let you spend time with her.

Damon: Hey you were the one that lost her.

Future: Damon's just pissed off because I changed rooms, and he walked into a booby trap that contained Eric. *sigh* Eric who won't tell me what he did any way.

Eric: *Smirks*

Damon: Nothing happened!

You don't have to yell dude.

Damon: …

Future: Jack, I know it was you who stole my stash of rum, when I was willing to give it to you, though I wasn't so willing to your second idea of 'having fun in the bed'.

Jack: Hahaha Yeah.

Future: LALALALALALALALALALA!

Alice: Is she drunk?

Katherine: I wish Io was.

Future: I see DAMON! *jumps him* I'm bored, plus when no one's around, I'm sure you'll get a laugh at this Stefan, I am usually able to convince Damon to where a pink princess dress and get him to dance around to "I'm A Barbie Girl".

Damon: YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL!

Katherine: So you admit it's true, Damon? Or should I call you Damon, the fairy princess?

Damon: …*Destorys the whole room*

HEY WHAT THE…*Gets hit with a table*

Bonnie: *Boredly* Take cover. Let's go Pam!

Pam: On it.

I WILL INVOKE MY POWHA!

BOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!

*Five days later*

*Sleep on the floor*

Stefan: Happy now.

Damon: At least I don't have a hole in my belly.

Stefan: ….

Vie: Hola all! Greetings from Georgia and Florida!

Katherine: *Kicks me*

Yoya!

Vie: Dang it, I missed the "Ask Damon" hour! :-(

Damon: Yeah. Where was everyone.

Katherine: Oh stop your bitching.

Vie: I do have a question for Stefan...Why do people think you're Edward's twin? I mean you look nothing like him, you're awesome...no offense Edward but you sparkle!

Stefan: Yeah. That's what I tell them but they don't listen.

Edward: What so bad about being sparkly!

You look like you have magical fleas.

Vie: *Nods* Or a magical homeless person.

Edward: *Gasp then points at his face* This is my offended face.

Leah: Looks like everyone face you make.

Vie: Chi Chi means happYness! How's life treating you Chi? The story is still progressing, I love it! But could you stop having my Winchester brothers be all into each other sexually? They deserve better than that... Look at them, they're FINE!

*Looks at Sam* Hehe, if only everyone else saw it your way.

Sam: Am I growing boobs?

Yes. Yes you are.

Vie: Tara, Bonnie and Alice, hey sistas! I've missed you guys terribly. ** gives them a big bear hug** you guys she be here all the time!

Tara: Been okay.

Bonnie: Stop biting me!

Alice: I like eggs!

Vie: Damon, hey sweetie, how's it going being the manwhore? I love you thought but you need to keep that zipper up. *Vie kisses Damon deeply***. That was yummy!

Stefan: …

Vie: Til next time guys!

Everyone: Bye!

Vie: Oh Katherine, I brought you chocolates from Africa and France...Bon Apetit!

Katherine: I love this show! Oh don't forget to take one of those lovely, little bastards!

…Katherine.

Katherine: Could have said worst.

Jojo: Hey Chi, you updated again! And it's your 90th CHAPTER SPECTACULAR! *gets teary-eyed* we've really come a long way you guys! GROUPHUG! *hugs everyone*

Yay.

Damon: Get you hand off my butt Stefan.

Tyler: Ew. I thought it was Caroline.

Caroline: My butt is not that flat!

Tyler: *Whistles*

Jojo: *wipes away tears* So, before anything... where can i return this thing? *holds up Damon 67* I saw it crawling from an...envelope

Damon 67: *coos* Cookie!

Jojo: Omg! It's so cute...*Damon 67 vomits at Damon* Now it's even cuter!

Katherine: We have to give about one hunded more away or we drown them.

No. No we are not.

Jojo: So i can keep it? Oh my glob...i have a new drinking buddy! I was KIDDING...maybe. Damon 67 I rename thee cookie!

Alice: One down, many more to go.

Jojo: So to celebrate the 90th chapter...Gifts,gifts,and rum for everyone!

Damon: Haven't you learned from what happened last chapter? You got Chi to kidnap Logan...

*Evil laugh*

Jojo: And it was...awesome! SELF-FIVE! Anyway gifts, right dat-dat-da! *Mysterious box appears*

Seth: Oh no.

Jojo: Okay...what might be inside the mysterious box?

Leah: Let me guess...gum?

Jojo: Hey! That's supposed to be a surprise! *shrugs* oh well...my assistant pull out the gum!

*random zombie guy brings out gum*

Stefan: Didn't I kill it already?

Jojo: "It" has a name Stefan...it is Lenny

Lenny: *hands gum to Katherine* BRAINS!

Jojo: Okay,okay next gift... Damon here's the Lady Gaga album you won't shut up about...you SO owe me.

Damon: …*Blushes* Thank you.

Jojo: Lenny come back here! Brains later! Gifts now!

Lenny: Brains…

Stop staring at me.

Jojo: Bonnie here's a ticket to Hawaii...I see a Baby Damon Apocalypse in the future so here's an escape route :-D

Bonnie: Thank god

Jojo: Pam your now back on my friends list for giving me a drinking buddy- erm- baby- uhmm...I REGRET NOTHING! And Jacob, sweetie pie, here are pants. PLEASE OH PLEASE PUT THEM ON!

Jacob: NEVER!

Yeah! What he said.

Jojo: Leah I know you think Tyler's not your type but you're meant to be together! You just haven't realized it yet...

Leah: no.

Jojo:*locks Leah and Tyler in the backroom* I'm LYLER all the way!

I hear screaming.

Jacob: Not the good kind either.

Seth: I think she's trying to kill him.

Jojo: Anyway I'm being random again but Jack handed me some rum isnt he the awesomest? More rum for everyone! *big boxes of rum appear*

Jack: I'm the happiest man in the world.

Jojo: To the mole people! *huge mole hills form on the bedroom floor* And to your new prince! *holds up Damon 67 lion king style XD* *random mole people cheer*

Damon 67: Today Charity's room tomorrow...THE WORLD! *EVIL LAUGH*

Jojo; As my new order MOLE PEOPLE ATTACK THE SPARKLING DEMON!

*mole people attack Edward...and Stefan*

Mole man 23: Destroy! *hits Edward with an axe*

Mole man 4: For the queen! *shoots Edward and Stefan with a machine gun*

Jojo: *teary-eyed* They make me so proud!

Everyone: 0.0?

Jojo: So...who wants cookies?

We're okay.

Jojo: Alice here's jewelry from the mole people enjoy while they still don't know I stole it.

Alice: Thanks.

Jojo: Seth have some more rum *hands Seth more bottles*

Jacob: His sister will kill you!

Jojo: Not when she's "occupied" she won't, right buddy?

Seth: *drunk beyond comprehension* Urgllflumpyns?

So cute.

Jojo: Elena, Bella you two are officially my bitches

Elena & Bella: Never!

Jojo: *hands the two shock collars* What did you say?

Elena: *touches the collar softly* My precious

Bella: *puts on shock collar* Where have you been all my life?

Jojo: *facepalms* I so shouldn't get drunk anymore.

Elena: I love it! *On the floor doing dirty things*

Jojo: (o.o) There goes that rated T... Eric, I enjoyed last night...sooo what about a second round tonight? *winks at him*

Eric; *Nods* Wanna join Damon?

Damon: No. Never in life.

Jojo: Castiel, forgive me for being with Eric but I just can't help it! *kisses Castiel*

Castiel: …

Jojo: Stefan here's a bunny don't worry it's safe...i think .

Stefan: Is this a bomb? I think this is a bomb!

Jojo:So Sam, Dean I'm so sorry for being mean...So here's a bag of beans Hey that rhymed!

Sam; What am I going to do with…*Eats the whole bag*

O.o Cravings are a bitch huh?

Katherine: Hand over more Chocolate!

Jojo: So the mole people still destroying Edward and Stefan? Chi here's an insurance check for future damages...renovate this place or something...

Thank you.

Logan: *hidden behind chi* Help me!

Jojo: What was that?

Damon: Logan, I told you she didn't hand him back...

Jojo: Hmm,so...IS THAT BIGTIME RUSH?

Chi: Where? *looks around*

Damon: Run, Logan, run like the wind!

Jojo: So that's it...wait before i forget you guys have to go see Avengers! It was awesome! An everything was like...mathematical! Chi you SO gotta see it and the superheroes' yummyness...*swoons* So many hot guys *drools*

Damon ruined the movie.

Damon: Damon smash.

Jojo: And to Rogue Captain America was so hot! How could you not see that? *ponders* Though the spangly suit is kind of a turn off… Anyway, Chi HAPPY 90TH CHAPTER SPECTACULAR for the second time around hand rogue these new batch of cookies will you? I think she plans to use it for world domination...

…

Jojo: Again...this is definitely it...Gotta go party elsewhere! Mole people move out! *mole people and mole hills disappear*

Jojo and cookie are out...PEACE! *disappears*

Stefan: Wait what about Lenny?

Katherine: *shakes Lenny* GIMME MORE GUM!

Yeah?

Riddle1rave: This is actually funny.

Thank you.

Alice: It's over.

And time to spare. Thanks for reading this crazy story and not wanting to bang your head on the table afterwords. No, you'll get brain damage. So I want to thank FutureActressKS, Rogue Assasin, blackNdeadly, Vie, jojo meinne, and riddle1rave for reviewing. I'm going to be moving soon…again, but hopefully it won't take time out of this or any other stories I'll be working on again. Peace.

Pam: Love.

Seth: I think Leah is beating Tyler's head against the door.

Damon: …Do it again!

Oh Next time it's (Ask the Wolves Corner!) Bye!

Katherine: Bring chocolate now! Or I'll go postal.

When are you never.

Katherine; *Slaps me*

RUN AWAY!


	92. A late Happy 4th of Julyor Happy 12th

Show's They Can't Do Together!

Happy Barbeque day!

Oh USA, oh USA, you're the place I call home. Oh USA, oh USA why do I know the zombie rampage will start here. You see all the show and see the cause, hopeful they'll keep these ass in Florida. Oh USA, oh USA I'm only here cause I wasn't born in Canada!

Damon: *Claps* Nice song. *Rolls eyes*

Just typed it a few minutes ago! I love you USA! And everywhere else! Yeah!

Stefan: *Shakes head*

Hey I get to make fun of whatever I want dude. Yeah! Hopefully the CIA doesn't read this.

Stefan: They probably did.

..Damn!

Sam: *Rubs Belly* Why no show?

I like Holidays too much...and I'm very lazy. Besides I wanted to celebrate the 4th of july...on the 12th!

Damon:You're an idiot.

Katherine: Like usual.

…

Alice: We'll let's start the show!

Elena: *Sits on Bella's back*

Do I even want to know/

Elena: She lost a bet.

Bella: *Sighs*

Dean: I got fireworks!

Damon: Are you suppose to be somewhere.

Dean: We're in a fanfic. When do we ever follow story lines here?

Stop Breaking the forth wall Dean.

Damon: It was broken when you created this monstrosity.

Stefan: Using big words now.

Damon: You should see the "big" word that I wrote on your face.

Stefan: …...O.o *Looks for a mirror*

Damon: For a vampire you leave a lot of openings.

Katherine:Let's start this fucking show all fucking ready!

You don't have to cuss so much.

Katherine:You really want to lecture a pregnant vampire.

...Any who. Let's start the show!

blackNdeadly: Hi guys!

Damon: Oh look, it's the wannabe writer…*shows fangs*

blackNdeadly: Mate, you don't scare me. I survived an attack from a drop bear…so you don't scare me…I got blackfella magic!

Stephan: Blackfella…*looks confused*

blackNdeadly: Yeah, I'm Aboriginal…You know australia's blackfellas….haven't you seen Australia? You know with ma old mate Hugh Jackman?

Bella: OMG! You know Hugh Jackman? *faints*

blackNdeadly: yeah, he my cousinbrother…

Eric: Cousinbrother? Can I suck this bitch?

Pam: No, she's interesting…I have some questions…Care to answer?

blackNdeadly: Sure thing mate…

Pam: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow?

blackNdeadly: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.

Bella: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?

blackNdeadly: Seriously? Yeah, depends how much you've been drinking.

Elena: And she's been drinking a lot.

Bella: HEY!

Edward: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia ? )

blackNdeadly: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not. . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked.

Bella: Which direction is North in Australia?

blackNdeadly: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Stephan: Can I bring cutlery into Australia?

blackNdeadly: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Edward: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?

blackNdeadly: Mate, could you be anymore gay? Sparkly fuck…Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is . . . Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Pam: Can I wear high heels in Australia?

blackNdeadly: You are a British politician, right?

Bella: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?

blackNdeadly:*mutters to herself, looks at Carrie* Was she born blonde? No Bella, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Edward: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can Dispense rattlesnake serum.

blackNdeadly: Mate, you are vamp-bloody hell… Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.

Damon: I have a question…

Stephan: Oh here we go…

Damon: Its about that bear you mentioned…is it a famous animal in Australia?

blackNdeadly: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. I mean, I barely survived...I got the blackfella magic in me...I'm special...

Sam: Yeah, you're special...

Eric: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia?

blackNdeadly: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Edward: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?

blackNdeadly: Yes, gay night clubs.

Bella: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia?

blackNdeadly: *Rolls her eyes* Only at Christmas.

Eric: I was in Australia in 1969 on RR, and I want to contact the Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross. Can you help?

blackNdeadly: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour . . .

Edward: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?

blackNdeadly: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first….

I have a question

blackNdeadly: Yeah, mate...go for it

*Drools* Damon or Eric?

blackNdeadly: Good question…Both…

Damon: What?

*smiles evilly*

Eric & Damon: Fuck!

Alice: I like her.

Katherine: *Nods*

Sam: My nipple's are leaking again.

Katherine: Man up you fairy!

Tinkerbell: HEY!

blackNdeadly: Seriously? When I said I wanted to know what it would be like as a TV presenter, I meant for that to be between me and you...I mean, fuck, I was on the Biggest Loser...who wouldn't want to be a tv presenter on that show...

Stephan: You were on the biggest loser? Good job

blackNdeadly: I know...Seriously, do i have to do this?

What? You perved on Damon…

blackNdeadly: Everyone pervs on Damon…he's a fuckin god…

Damon: Thanks….Oh goodie, two chicks fight over me…

blackNdeadly: Shuddap dude..

Come on, you know wanna…

blackNdeadly: This sucks…Hi all and welcome to the dumb blonde/housewife vs Aussie woman show…thing…show…

Bella: I resent that you know…

blackNdeadly: Bitch, you're not even blonde…and you're not a housewife, so I don't know what the fuck you on about...

Bella: Shall we get started? Okay, when eating icecreams, put a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a cone to prevent ice-cream drips.

blackNdeadly: Why does she sound like a TV presenter? Man…Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Bella: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

blackNdeadly: Buy Polenta and keep it in the cupboard for up to a year.

Bella: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

blackNdeadly: The cheesecake shop sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Bella: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.

blackNdeadly: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's just tough. Please recite with me the Aussie Woman motto: 'I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes.'

Bella: Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

blackNdeadly: It could keep forever... who eats it?

Damon: Oh, this is good…

Stephan: Two chicks telling the world how a country works..classic!

Damon: Carrie, you are the devil

I know…

Bella: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

blackNdeadly: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of vodka. Drink the vodka... you might still have the headache, but you won't give a damn! Why waste it? Rub the lime on your forehead afterwards, it may soak straight in? Unless you have another bottle of that vodka left, of course?...

Bella: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.

blackNdeadly: This is why we have men…they open it…

Eric: Do you have a man?

blackNdeadly: You can be my man

Future: Bitch, back off my man…

blackNdeadly: I can share…

Bella: Finally the most important tip...Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles.

Everybody except Bella: Leftover wine?

Damon: … You are really writing this all down.

Yep.

Damon: What is your cure for headaches?

What my dad and mom told me all my life. MAN UP YOU AIN'T NO BITCH YOU AIN'T GONNA LET A HEADACHE PUNK YOU! Or go to sleep.

Damon: ... It's tamer then what my father said. *Frowns*

Stefan: …

Rogue: What's up peeps.

Katherine: Pain, darkness, despair, and a growing belly.

Rogue: ...A simple hello would have been good. So the government wants to ban porn - BASTARDS! I will die but I won't let them take away porn!

Resist! First they take your porn then your freedom!

Damon: She's not talking about your mom. She's talk about the government.

S-shut up. I know what she was saying.

Rogue:Now that that's been said...I think we should have Damon and Stefan on Ghost file's next...

Damon: Isn't Stefan a afraid of ghost?

Never knew that.

Damon: You do now.

Stefan: *Twitch* At least I'm not afraid of clowns.

Everyone: ...Ohh.

Damon: It isn't fear. It's mistrust in those big shoes, face painted bastards. I'm telling you that there's a pedo lurking under all that makeup.

At least you can kick a clowns ass.

Damon: Stay out of it Chi.

...

Rogue:I just finished Elfin Leid - that was kinda depressing and the guy ended up marrying his cousin!

Ain't it legal to marry your cousins in Japan though?

Katherine: It's disgusting would you want to marry your...

**Demon voice** I would shove them into the pits of hell before ever thinking of being in any kind of relationship with those rat faced bastards.

Alice: Bad memories.

Tyler: You can tell?

Where have you guys been?

Tyler: We went to get a burger.

Leah: *Boredly* Tyler threaten someone and now we got a car full of burgers. Yay! *Rolls eyes*

Rogue:I still think FMA is one of the best though not as great as Dragon Ballz.

Me too. But now a days I've been finding really depressing anime, like that Puella Magi Madoka Magica.

Rogue: So what is everyone doing today?

Sam & Katherine: We're pregnant what do you think we're doing!

Everyone: *Plugs ears*

===Three Hours Later===

Rogue: Wolf corner questions...

Q1

You do realize that the only wolf people bother about is Jacob...

Tyler: It will all change. Since I'm leader...

Leah: Blah, blah blah.

Seth: *Sighs and shakes his head*

Jacob: ...

Rogue: Q2 What happened in that locked room Lyler?

Leah: *Evil smile* I bashed his head against the head.

Tyler: She left a dent in my skull.

Maybe Leah's a tsundere. Like she rough but under all that she's...

Leah: *Growls*

Possible a psychopath! *Hides behind Alice*

Rogue: Q3 So what have you all done with your little demon's - sorry Damon's?

I left him at home to watch Cookie and Precious. That kid is too smart, he'll be the death of us all!

Damon: Someone's dark today.

*Shrugs*

Stefan: In the woods. Dixon ran with the wovles.

Tyler: We're sorry. We're awesome and you're not, get over it.

Alice: Bree is eating the camrea!

...Hey! Baby! Get! Off! Shit!

Damon & Stefan: *Laughs*

PUT YOU'RE PANTS ON! WE DON'T PROMOTE CHILD PORN HERE! *Cries* DON'T PISS ON THE CAMERA...HEY! DON'T MAKE THAT FACE! NO!

Rogue: … 0.0...For Katherine a truck full of white chocolate (I personally prefer white chocolate)

Katherine: *Looks at the camera* I think I prefer white chocolate too.

Why Bree! Why!

Rogue:The new Teen wolf season starts tonight yayness :D

Alice: While ago?

*Cries*

Rogue: Hey Jojo thanks for the cookie's the could be useful in the near future... Here a magical whip for you is has the power to turn anyone it touches into a mindless slave - I can think of a few people you can use it on *looks at Elena and Edward*

Elena & Edward: *Glup*

Rogue: So Kirsten Stewart (who I really despise as she will forever be Bella) is going to be Snow White, my question is how the FUCK can she be the fairest of them all when Charlize Theron is gorgeous? Stewart will never outshine Theron.

My friend saw the movie and said the graphics were good, and Kirsten Stewart was ...okay but Charlize stole the show. And I agree with him! Now for the Sleeping Beauty thing, will Angelina play an awesome Magnificent?

Rogue:Has anyone watched battleship yet, I wanted to so I could watch Alexander Skarsgard but when I saw Rihanna was in it as well I decided against it...

Haven't seen it yet. But even if I watched it I would have been throwing popcorn in hopes to have a theater food fight.

Damon: ...This is what I have to deal with everyday.

Rogue: Well have fun everyone, my mom is getting on my nerves and murder is a crime - I need my own place, but in this stupid country women don't even get paid 45% of what men do.

The world can be an idiot.

Katherine:*Nods*

But then again we should prepaid for the zombie horde! *Looks around*Where's Caroline?

Leah: Probably trapped in the burger car.

Tyler: Again?

*In the Car*

Caroline: ...Get me out of here before I'll destroy the car.

Tyler: …

Leah: *Slaps forehead* Why is he leader again?

Jacob & Seth: *Shrugs*

Edward: Aren't we going to shoot off fireworks?

Yep! *Smiles*

Bella: …

Why...why does Bella have fireworks in her mouth?

Edward: So do you want to start?

But...

Edward: Do..you want...to start?

I bet twilighters hate me.

Damon: *Shrugs* I'm rubbing off on you.

Alice: We should purify you!

Katherine: I have hand sanitizer! Now hold her mouth open.

O.O! *Runs away*

Dean: Let's get some burgers on the grill!

Sam: I'm craving pickles, ice cream, **AND SOULS!**

Everyone: O.o?

Sam: ...What?

Tara: Caroline just busted the windshield.

Tyler:*Runs over to the car and cries*

Eric: …

Pam: Wow.

Well we might as well wrap it up! *Smiles* I want to talk blackNdeadly, and Rogue Assasin for reviews and thanks for reading guys! I've had a long time to be bored so I thought let's blow up some watermelons...and I got in trouble for it. It wasn't my fault for enjoying my watermelon firework but the cops didn't so...pooo!

Damon: *Laughs*

Well peace!

Alice: Love.

Tyler: Why you bust my windshield?

Caroline: I've warned you!

...Bye!

Edward: *Lights fuse that's placed in Bella's mouth*

I think we should run.

Damon & Stefan: You think.

Everyone: *Starts running*

BOOOOOOOOM!

AH! MY ROOM!

Pam: Doesn't smell appealing...at all.

Alice: I found a piece of nose in my hair!

...**I WILL DESTORY YOU EDWARD!**

Edward: *Laughs and runs*

Leah: See you guys.

Tyler: MY CAR!

Caroline: MY HAIR! IT SMELLS LIKE BURNT MEAT!

Eric: Next is ask Eric time.

Seth: ...Stop staring at me!

Eric:*Smirk*

Leah: Don't make me use my fangs on you vamp!


	93. Archer and a show short

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Archer!

Archer: And I was like no way, I'm not sticking anything in my mouth.

Malory: *Heads on the desk* What is this idiot speaking of?

Lana: He's talking about not putting a translator in his mouth.

Archer: It was shaped like a little penis.

Lana: No. It was shaped like a tube Archer. A tube that was suppose to help you with dealing with the Russians.

Archer: *Drinks from his cup* And your point?

Lana: And my point is that we got shot at and Ray got shot!

Ray: Nope. Nobody mind me...you bastards.

Archer: We got the job done. We're all alive...I got to bang three Russian chicks.

Damon: Are we even needed here?

Stefan: Seems dysfunctional already.

Malory: Who is that!

Lana: *Whips out a gun* Don't know but all I know is that they'll have bullets in their heads.

Archer: Calm down man hands.

Lana: *Twitch*

Archer: I met these guys at a bar last night...it wasn't a gay bar right?

Damon: No.

Stefan: *Shakes head*

Archer: These guys crashed on my couch and I guessed followed me.

Damon: No you screamed at us to follow you to whatever this is and kept talking about you being a secret agent and the KGB can suck your dick. Many things I wish I haven't heard.

Archer: Really?

Malory: ARCHER!

Archer: Why don't we just shot them and call it a day?

Lana: …

Malory: I have a better idea. Why don't you two leave and leave this...

Damon: Angry.

Stefan: Birds.

Malory: Both Angry and Birds here with me to um...clean my carpet.

Archer: MOTHER!

Lana: That's my cue to leave. *Leaves the office*

Ray: Yep.

Archer: Nobody wants to here about you...and these wonder twins with odd names doing it.

Pam: I heard someone say doing it?

Archer & Malory: GO AWAY PAM!

Damon: I would say eat them but I bet their blood is 100% alcohol.

Stefan: Sadly I agree.

Malory: Hey boys. The carpet matches the drapes.

Damon: Time to leave.

Malory: You two are just going to leave me here with my legs open?

Damon & Stefan: Yep!

Archer: Mother! I'm right here.

Malory: And you're about to be gone. I need a hand from Handy Manny down the street.

Archer: ….*Looks at his cup* I need a whole bottle of whiskey to forget that.

* * *

What happened after?

Damon: Blow up the building.

What!

Damon: I saved Lana.

Stefan: I saved some chick named Carol by force.

Damon: She kept screaming "Choke me!" It was weird.

Yeah. I can tell. So what are we going to do today since I haven't got a review.

Damon: *Shrugs* It's your show.

*Thinks* Let's have a language lesson!

Damon & Stefan: No.

Come on. No one else is here since it's early in the morning! Just think of it as a pre show!

Damon: *Twitch* Whatever.

Okay. Blue.

Stefan: ..You mean the color?

No. On here it says that it's a fight.

Damon: Me and Stefan had a blue? That sounds weird.

*Shrugs* You think everything is weird.

Stefan: *Nods*

Damon: Can it.

Um...ear basher.

Damon: I know a few ear bashers. *Looks at Stefan*

Stefan: You're a nong.

Damon: You're a mug!

Stefan: Drongo!

Damon: You loo looking motherfucker!

Guys! Ain't this a little to early for this?

Damon & Stefan: SHUT UP. WE'RE HAVING AN AUSSIE LESSON HERE!

Oh dear.

Stefan:May your ears turn into arseholes and shit on your shoulders!

Damon: Be careful Chi, Stefan has F.I.T.H. Syndrome.

Um guys. When I was thinking about lessons, I wasn't only talking about insults.

Stefan: If your I. Q. were 2 points higher it would be the same as a bloody stone!

Damon: Rip your bloody arms off and belt you with the sloppy end.

*Sighs* I'm sorry guys you had to read that. But I'll post something either tonight or early tomorrow morning. Sorry for the failed lessons.

Stefan:You're enough to give diarrhoea the shits!

Damon: Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.

Stefan & Damon: *Punches each other in the face*

Stefan: *Tackles Damon*

Damon: *Punches Stefan in the head*

...Peace, love, and chocolate! See you soon...*Gets pushes out of the way*

Stefan: BITCH!

Damon: CUNT!

Oh my god! I have a bloody nose! *Cries*


	94. Bunnies are evil, Stefan in drag

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Kore wa Zombie Desu ka?

Haruna: YOU IDIOT! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY POWERS?

Stefan: What?

Haruna: ...You fell on me and then you took my powers!

Stefan: *Looks around for Damon* If this is a joke, ha ha you got me.

Haruna: *Grabs Stefan by the collar* This isn't a joke stupid! You have to fight that thing for me! *Points at the little white rabbit*

Stefan: ...Really?

Rabbit: *Sniffs around then look towards Stefan*

Stefan: It's so cute..I want to eat it.

Rabbit: ...**BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! YOU INSOLENT FOOLS! FEEL MY BUNNY WRATH!**

Stefan: O.O! Where the hell is Damon?

* * *

Damon: *Air kisses* You're cute. Are you legal?

Eucliwood: *Writes on a note pad and shows Damon* GO SAVE YOUR BROTHER AND LEAVE ME ALONE YOU FOOL.

Seraphim: Yeah. You piece of shit.

Damon: You know you both want me so let's have some fun.

Seraphim: *Twitches*

* * *

Haruna: You have no time to be worrying about your boyfriend..

Stefan: Brother!

Haruna: *Hands over a chain saw* This is Mysletainn! Hold on to him!

Rabbit:** RAWWWWWWRRRRRR!** *Starts to run over*

Stefan: *Grabs on to the chain saw and gasp* Why am I lighting up?

*Few Minutes later*

Stefan: WHAT IS THIS? *Points to the pink dress, bonnet, stockings, and shoes*

Haruna: You are now a masou shojo! Now fight!

Stefan: *Twitch* If Damon saw me like this I don't know what I would do!

Rabbit: *Takes a swing at Stefan and Haruna*

Stefan: *Grabs the girl and jumps up in the air blushing* I'm wearing panties?

Haruna: Yep!

Stefan: *Lands and sets her down* How do you control this thing!

Haruna: Yell Mystletainn Kick and you'll see.

Stefan: *Pushes Her aside and up in the air with a chain saw*

Rabbit: *Opens it's mouth letting out tentacles*

Haruna & Stefan: o.O!

Stefan: *Gets caught by them* Ah!

* * *

Stefan:...*Slaps me in the back of the head* No.

But it's a yummy scene.

Stefan: Change it.

But don't you want to have a tentacle in your...

Stefan: CHANGE IT OR I'LL MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL!

Fine. Saving it for a facfic anyways.

Stefan: What?

Nothing.

* * *

Stefan: *Cuts through them with the chain saw and yells* MYSLETAINN KICK! *Slices the bunny in half*

Rabbit: **That wasn't a kick!** *Explodes*

Damon: Bwahaha! Look at little fairy Stefan!

Stefan: *Falls and lands on Damon*

*Takes a picture* Going to sell this one on ebay!

Stefan: Why you little...!

Damon: Get the hell off of me!

Stefan: *Goes poof and sits on his brother naked*

Haruna: I was going to warn you about that but you're stupid.

Stefan: I...hate..this...world!

Damon: GET YOUR DICK OFF MY CHEST YOU BASTARD!

*Takes a lot of pictures*

* * *

I think this is my favorite fic to date. *Holds up a scrapbook* Aw! Brotherly love!

Damon: *Snatches the book and sets it on fire* Never...speak...of it..again.

Pfft. I have more copies!

Stefan: Hey Damon, you want to have a pic hunt?

NO!

Eric: I enjoyed them.

Damon & Stefan: …

Pam: Damon looked so cute with the anger in his eyes!

Bonnie: Hehehe.

Tyler:As leader of the wolf corner...we do not want to see that shit! Keep that over there.

Leah: We finally agree on something.

Katherine: Give me a pic and I'll make it so it will be on every billboard.

Damon & Stefan: ...No.

Caroline: Let's start the show!

Sam:...I think the baby just kicked.

Dean: …

We should have a scrap book! Of all our memories here!

Damon: Dude. It's a story, not a show.

But it's a show in their minds!

Damon: I want to call you stupid but for some reason I find it cute.

Aw!

Damon: And I eat cute things.

O.o! Let's...start the show!

blackNdeadly: What the...I leave all of you mob alone and looks what happen...Someone ends up with a bloody nose and Stephan is still gay!

Stephan: Hey!

Damon: Told you...

Stephan: *Titch* Shut-up bitch...

I'm okay...just peachy...

blackNdeadly: And seriously? Damon, Stephan, what do you think we Aussies do? Ride on our kangaroos all day and shoot rainbows from our arses?

Stephan: Hey don't look at me...Carrie was the one giving us Aussie lessons.

Hey! I just found some website and ran with it.

blackNdeadly: She's the author...she has the power to do whatever she wants...In fact she could even knock you up Stephan if she could...

*smiles evilly*

Stephan: Oh God please no...

blackNdeadly: Anyway, has anyone read Fifty Shades of Grey yet? I mean its porn for mummies!

Sam and Katherine: Really?

blackNdeadly: Really... But just a question, who do you think should play the ever so Handsome Christian Grey?

Eric: I will play him, if it pleases you miss deadly...

blackNdeadly *blushes* Oh Eric...

Future: Bitch, back the fuck off my man...

blackNdeadly: *glares* Fine then I'll guess I will have Richard Armitage, who plays Mr Thornton is North and South instead ...He's much better looking anyway...

*Everyone Stares ate her*

Damon: Who the fuck is he?

blackNdeadly: Look him up...

*Looks him up on Google* Oh Miss deadly...

blackNdeadly: Okay now, You've been going through all these shows and it got me thinking, none of you, well apart from myself and that weird fuck-up time where Sam and Dean went through s series of shows...I mean seriously Sam, herpes? But anyway, it got me thinking...who here has been on a reality TV show?

Bella: I have!

blackNdeadly: Dumb, Drunk and Just Plain stupid doesn't count...Anyway, if you guys had to chose a reality TV show to go on, what would be? I mean here in Australia, we have of course the Biggest Loser and all that jazz and soon we are starting Big Brother again...

Stephan: Big Brother?

blackNdeadly: Its where all these people are put into a house and they have to live with all these crazy people and try not to kicked out. And there this guy called Big Brother who gives them all these tasks that they have to do.

Kinda like the situation I have going now?

blackNdeadly: Kinda like that...but each week someone gets eliminated...

Pam: You mean killed.

blackNdeadly: Whatever...It means you get kicked out of the house, out of the story...that sort of thing...

Interesting...Mmmm I wonder...*smiles evilly*

Damon: Uh...Carrie...Um...

Stephan: Oh shit...

blackNdeadly: So everyone here is Australia is going crazy over Magic Mike...and Fifty Shades of Grey...I mean, I swear, if I didn't know any better I'd say that Australia is trying to publicize itself as Horny central of the World...Look everyone come to Australia, where every woman is horny for men in suits and every man is willing to strip for ya!

Is it really that bad?

blackNdeadly: No...it's just means we have to keep an eye on the horny bastards...Anyway, I'm excited this week...It's Ask Eric time..*Sighs*

Damon: I thought your man was Richard what's his name...

blackNdeadly: Jealous much?

Damon: I am not jealous of that pompous arse...

Eric: Moving on...Ask Away Miss Deadly

blackNdeadly: Okay...Uh...Um...I actually don't know...

What do you mean you don't know?

blackNdeadly: Well, I basically know all there is about Eric and I don't know what to ask him and I mean I have questions but my mind blank at the moment.

Edward: I thought Aussies were suppose to be smart

blackNdeadly: Not all of us...Some of us actually have a spear and boomarang to attached to our hip.

Stephan: What the hell is a boomo...rang?

blackNdeadly: BOOMA-Rang...geez...I'll show ya.

*Produces a weird looking triangle thing her bag and chucks it. It spirals around the room and chops Edward's head off*

Eric, Damon and Dean: AWESOME!

Can somebody heal him please?

Eric: Do we have to?

Yes...We do...Now.

Eric: Fine...

Damon: What does the spear do?

blackNdeadly: Its for hunting...same us the boomarang...

Dean: Awesome...Can become blackfella like you?

blackNdeadly: It requires a ceremony though...you will have to strip off your clothes and dance naked by the fire and I will have to paint you with white, red yellow and black paint...

Dean: Can we...please?

*Sighs*...

Hehehe.

bigNbeautiful89: Oh this is hilarious! I actually know blackNdeadly personally and I am glad she is giving you lessons on how to be an Aussie...

Yep.

BigNbeautiful89: But seriously, good job on this...I don't think I have ever laughed out loud like this before...

Thank you!

BigNbeautiful89: Oh and nice work on the Aussie sayings...I mean, some of us still speak like that but all the rest of us speak gibberish and ride on kangaroos and we all have a drop bear as a pet... Just saying...

*Gasp* You really do...

Damon: No. She was just being sarcastic...stupid.

Oh. I just found it on a website and said to myself ...sure... and that's what I did! I take nothing seriously besides zombies. Because those bastards will seal our doom and eat our face! First sign on a zombie I'm killing it, even if it's just a nervous twitch.

Caroline: ...I'm not even going to ask.

Rogue: Hey Chi!

Hi! Hi!

Rogue: The one week I don't check this account and you update... I was beginning to think you were abducted by aliens.

H...how did you know about that?

Seth: *Slaps forehead*

Rogue: So how is everybody doing?

Nothing much!

Damon: Things I normally do.

Stefan: ?

Sam:...

Katherine: Hey. Touch my belly Leah.

Leah: ...No.

Rogue: By the way Eddie the firework in Bella's mouth - stroke of genius I no longer hate you but I will never stop hating Bella.

Bella: *Gasp*

Rogue: I am hooked on One Piece I freaking LOVE it. I want Roronoa Zoro! I wish I could wake up in that anime on the Thousand Sunny *Rogue drools with hearts in her eyes*

He must be really hot, I'll have to check it out.

Elena: Do you just watch an anime for hot guys?

And girls...don't judge me.

Rogue: Eric you have just gotten hotter... Pam and Tara... I see angry maker childe sex soon...

Tara & Pam: ...

Rogue: Hey Chi there is this anime porno called Momiji I am not a doll - you should totally watch it it's fucking awesome Kazuto is pretty yum if you minus out the fact he's a complete dick I think I have a thing for less favourable individuals, Vegeta, Damon, Eric, Derrick (Teen Wolf), Dyson (Lost Girl)...

I wanna see!

Rogue:Chi can we all go to One Piece in the next episode... I'd like to molest Zoro... while Sanji watches and then I'd like to screw Nami - though Sanji would be dead in a matter of seconds the amount of blood that shoots out his nose …

Sure. Have it a special episode.

Damon: God. More people.

Stefan: *Nods*

Rogue: Okay lets see I haven't had a torture session in a while...Elena on your knees... Bella lie back and spread your legs!

Charity: 0_o

Alice: Yeah! *Holding popcorn*

Katherine: Yeah!

Sam: I'm going to be sick!

Rogue: We will be exploring the concept of rebirth - now Elena crawl up the bitches birth canal!

Elena: No. Ew. Why the hell...no.

Rogue: Haha...**GO!**

Elena: *Crawls up there*

Sam: *Throws up*

Rogue: Speaking of Birth canal how are you coming along Katherine? And you sammy girl?

Katherine: Pfft.

Sam: I think I puked out my soul.

Rogue: Anyway I have a truck load of goodies for Kat out side.

Katherine: Thank you. You bastards better start giving me treats or I'll shut this place down! ...Excuse me. *Skips to the truck*

O.o Hormones are a bitch.

Rogue: Sam you're starting to show is the baby moving yet?

John: Baby what baby? Sam did you knock up a girl?

Rogue: Actually papa John Sam got knocked up by Dean...

John: *John grabs chest and dies his soul starts leaving his body while playing the harp*

Alice: Catch that SOUL!

Everyone: *Starts running around with butterfly nets to catch Papa John's soul*

Rogue: Almost forgot about ask Eric...

Q1  
If you cols procreate who would it be with and why?

Eric: Hm...with anyone who isn't stupid.

Rogue: Why?

Eric: Because I don't want stupid kids.

Damon: Same here.

Bonnie: *Slaps Damon in the back of the head*

Q2  
Damon or Dean? Why?

Eric: Damon, because he puts up a fight.

Damon: ...

Q3  
Stefan or Sam? Why?

Eric: Sam. He'll be fun to mess with.

Dean: Stay away from him.

Eric: Like you should be talking.

Q4  
Should I dress up as a maid or a nurse and meet you in the backroom?

Eric: Wouldn't matter. It'll all be on the floor anyways. *Smirks*

Rogue: I have some green hair dye and 3 gold earings as well as boots and green pants and a white muscle hugger and harakami - wear these and be my Zoro!

Eric: Anything for you.

Rogue: Peace out babes!

Bye bye!

Damon: I have a headache now.

Dean: Did anyone catch my dads soul?

Rabbit: **I did.**

Stefan: Oh shit!

Rogue: PS when you leave your fic unattended for a long time people lose interest in the site itself... I abandoned dancing with darkness for that very reason - if anyone wants to take Moonflower from me they are welcome to. I can't bring out any desire to delve into twilight and complete it I am over twilight like Brad is over Jennifer.

I know that feeling pretty well. Heck I almost gave up on the whole site itself but I have too much of an active imagination to give it all up.

Leah: Boo who and all but we need to end this.

Fine, fine. I will like to thank blackndeadly, bigNbeautiful89, and Rogue Assasin for reviews and thanks for reading! Peace!

Pam: love.

Stefan: *Starts running away* I don't want to be raped by a rabbit!

…

Damon: Good bye.

Jacob: IT GOT ME WITH HIS TENTACLES!

I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going. *Takes pictures*

Tara: This is way I'm almost never here.


	95. Mad libs and a show short

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Mad Libs!

Damon: Another short show?

Yep. I wanted to hurry up and get close to the 100th chapter as I can.

Stefan: Figured out what you going to do?

*Thinks* I'm doing FGW and … a song?

Damon: Great. Another one of your mind numbing songs.

Shut up before I'm make you sing 'The dirtiest song that ain't'.

Damon: No.

*Rolls eyes*

Stefan: What are you doing?

Oh. I'm doing a mad lib!

Damon: I bet it's dirty.

You know me well, grasshopper.

Damon: Don't call me that stupid. *Slaps me in the back of the head*

Jerk.

Stefan: What's it called?

How to Enlarge your penis.

Damon: Pfhahahahahaha! You should pay attention Stefan!

Stefan: How would you know it my penis was small? Hm?

Damon:...Bonnie did it.

* * *

Bonnie: I don't know why but I want to bash Damon right in the head.

Pam: When don't you.

Bonnie:...Dante, Dominic, and Danny stop bitting Barney.

Barney: WHHHHYYYY WOULD YOU DO THIS! *Bleeding*

Dante: *Kicks him* Shut up bastard.

Bonnie: What did I say about language?

Dante: Boys who have foul mouths will end up with a penis in them.

Bonnie: That's rig...WHO TOLD YOU THAT?

Dante: *Points at Pam*

Pam: *Shrugs*

Bonnie: PAM!

* * *

Damon: So how does this work?

Easy. Just give it a word from it's category. Like if it ask for a noun you give it a person place or thing.

Stefan: Thought you knew.

Damon: Unlike you bastards I have a life.

Stefan: I have a life!

Damon: Just a very boring one. Just admit it. I'm Superman and you're Wonder Woman.

Stefan: ….Anyone got a Krypton rock to stuff in this bastards mouth?

Come on guys. Aren't you a little curious?

Damon: Fine. Don't get your panties in a bunch bitch.

*Smiles* We need a verb!

Damon: Mangle.

Adjective.

Stefan: Viral.

Damon: Like your face.

Stefan: *Twitch*

Noun.

Alice: Thick!

Where were you?

Alice: Here. There. Places.

Ooookay. Number.

Stefan: 24.

Noun:

Alice: Teddy!

Damon: Lame.

Alice: *Stomps on Damon's foot*

Damon: Bitch.

Alice: *Smiles*

Utensil.

Damon: Knife.

…Abverb.

Katherine: Loud.

Damon: It's a short show. It's just me and Stefan, and my pet chi-a-pet.

….

Katherine: Can it bitch. I was bored so I came here. Bitch.

Verb.

Stefan: Pole.

Is pole an action?

Stefan: *Smirks* Believe me. It is.

Okay. Adjective.

Alice: Newish.

Emotion.

Damon: Rage.

Really?

Katherine: Just put it there.

Fine. Rage it is.

Katherine: This taking too long. *Snatches paper from me* Let's do this. *Writes stuff down well Damon, Stefan, and Alice join in*

Can I at least know what you're writing down?

Damon: It's a surprise.

*Sigh* I think I need a drink.

*Five minutes and a few arguments which means an hour went by*

Katherine: Done.

About time.

Alice: Read it out loud Katherine!

Wait. This is a dirty thing and this is a T rating.

Damon: Worst things been on here.

But...

Alice: Leave it to me! _**GO AWAY LITTLE KIDS...OR NOT BUT YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! **_How was that?

Alright I guess. Now read it Katherine.

Katherine: Step 1 : Since you want to be able to chart your progress ( and show off, the first step to mangle Your viral Penis is to get a hooker from the thick district, for 24 dollars, so that she makes you hard. Then take a picture your teddy.

Step 2 : Go into your kitchen and grab a knife. Now, use it to loud pole your penis. This should make you feel newish Rage..

Step 3 : Go to your local store and purchase a pulpit -scented cold lotion. The lotion should be crisp. stuff out a blob on your hand and begin pining your penis with it, in the middle of the store. But make sure 35 people are watching - don't worry, this will help your penis become meshy.

Step sit : By this point, your penis should be cuddly and woeful. You can see improvement if you sneak it to your poorly Before picture.

Step 4 : After waiting 32 days, your penis will finally be ready for the final step. Take a red-hot pant and style it on your Scotch.

Now that your penis is loudly large, women will be strangely revolted, and want to ream you ! Congratulations !

Damon: That was stupid. Give me that. I know what to do with this.

*Few minutes later*

Damon: *Reads* One day, I was stefan on the sidewalk when I stefan into stefan. Gosh, how stefan those stefan eyes are. I started stefan because that was my crush.  
That night, I stefan about stefan. How it would be if we were stefan. How it would be if we had sex..  
The next day, I stefan the guts to stefan stefan over to my house. We stefan, and she seemed interested in me. I realized that I had been staring at her pretty stefan the whole time. I asked her if she wanted to come to my room. She looked at me quizzically, but said she would anyways. When we got in my room, she put her stefan on my stefan and said that she loved me since we first met. My heart started to do stefan, and I told stefan the same. Suddenly, my stefan went up and I asked her if she wanted to see more of me. She said yes. She slowly unzipped my stefan as I unbuttoned her stefan and undid her stefan. Those stefan were so perfect. She took off my stefan and we got on the bed when we were naked. We had the best sex ever. It lasted stefan minutes. I was so happy.  
Now we go out every week, and have sex every time we get home.

Everyone: …

It's just Stefan's name over and over.

Damon: What?I felt childish.

Stefan: *Takes the paper*

Alice: ...*Shakes head*

*Few minutes letter*

Stefan: *Reads* 1. Get 2 slices of Damon bread  
2. Get Damon pickles and SLAM 'em on that bread  
3. Use a blender to blend some Damon olives with some Damon mayonnaise to make a Damon spread.  
4. ENJOY ! - )

Damon: You hungry bastard.

Stefan: You horny fuck.

Damon: *Tackles Stefan*

Katherine: Not this again. Peace I'm out.

I feel a lot of tension, so if you two need alone time me and Alice can leave you know.

Damon & Stefan: YOU WANT TO DIE!

NOOOOO!

Damon: *Cracks knuckles* You're dead.

*Runs away*

Alice: Thanks for watching our short show. We'll see you guys soon!

NOOOOO!

Damon: Get back here!

Never!

Stefan: Those two need a room.

I WANT TO LIVE!

Damon: TOO BAD!


	96. Oh mama!

Show's They Can't Do Together!

Johnny Bravo!

Johnny: Hey momma. How about me and you go out on the town. *Starts flexing*

Random chick: How about...no.

Johnny: Come on. I'm hot, your hot but together we can be smokin.

Random chick: Let me think about that!

*Five minutes later*

Johnny: *Bent like a pretzel* She wants me.

Damon: This is sad.

Stefan: Tell me about it.

Johnny: Who are you dorks?

Damon: Shut up. Or I'll tell you it's raining.

Johnny: It is? *Looks up at the sky and opens his mouth*

Stefan: … And I thought you was stupid.

Damon: Bite me bitch.

* * *

Pops: Who's your friends?

Johnny: Some losers that want to hang out with me.

Damon: *Mouths* Bastard.

Pops: So who wants my chili?

Stefan & Damon: *Covers up their noses* What's in that?

Pops: Um...It's made from cows, beans, toxic waste, a piece of boot, human flesh, human byproducts, that weren't from a guy named Vinny, um...

Random guy: Wait. What's in the chili?

Pops: Nothing. *Looks down on the guy* Nothing at all. *Walks away*

Johnny: Yeah. Why are you guys following me? Are you guys... *Looks around the whispers* Gay?

Damon: No.

Johnny: Then why are you...?

Carl: Hi Johnny! *Looks at Damon and Stefan* Who are they?

Damon: Catty.

Johnny: Stop stalking me it's ...Oh! Mama!

Random Lady: *Walks by*

Johnny: Excuse me a minute. *Follows the lady*

Carl: Are you his new best friend?

Damon: No.

Carl: Mhm.

Damon: Can we leave now.

Johnny: *Rubs his cheek* She really wants me!

Pops: Who wants roasted bats!

Stefan: ...*Tempted*

Damon: Hey, haven't I heard your voice before?

Carl: What are you talking about? I don't even know you.

Damon: Yeah. You remind me of an annoying yellow sponge.

Carl: Huh?

Damon: *Smiles* Let's see if he lives down you're throat.

Carl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Runs away*

Damon: *Chases after him*

Pops: Leave some pieces for my new chili!

Stefan: *Eats roasted bats*

* * *

That throat thing sounded dirty!

Damon: Oh shut up! You have one of the dirtiest minds I know. Pervert.

A...um...okay I do but you don't have to point it out!

Katherine: Roasted bats...really?

Stefan: I was hungry.

Katherine: That could have been a vampire you were eating.

Stefan: They wasn't a vampire then.

Ew.

Damon: So where have you been princess?

Trying to get on the computer.

Tara: How hard is that?

I have three sisters and two brother...evil..evil little bastards. The 18 year old sister and the 13 year old sister double teams the computer. So one wakes up at ten and when that one is done the other gets the rest of the time until five in the morning.

Alice: Wow.

You're telling me. It's like this...

* * *

Can I get on the computer?

Tilisha: *Evil demon overlord* No bitch. Sit down. Shut up. And if you try anything I'll fuck you up.

O.o...I'm older then you.

Tilisha: And?

…..I'll wait.

*Hours later*

It was my turn.

Tiffany: *Evil demonic drama panda* No. I'm on.

But I...

Tiffany: *Babbles something so demonic that if you read it, it will burn your eyes*

Um...I think my hair just turned white. *Walks away*

* * *

Or when I'm on the computer and they just stare at me with their hell filled eyes, or they just keep asking "Are you done yet?"...bitches

Katherine: Pussy.

I know.

Damon: Why don't we start the show. This is getting too depressing.

*Sits in the corner* I know!

BigNbeautiful89: Just a question...what are your views on Period Drama? Shows like Pride and Prejudice, Robin Hood, Sense and Sensibility and of course, miss blackNdeadly's favourite show and man Candy, North and South...if you guys haven't watched North and South, you should...

Um...I like them, I ready love robin hood. I imagine him in really, really...

Damon: No. Don't want to hear that shit

Katherine: Jealousy much?

Damon: Listening to her fantasy? It's too much of a bore to get mad over.

BigNbeautiful69: Richard Armitage is to die for...

*Low whistles*

blackNdeadly: Bitch, that's my man...

BigNbeautiful69: No he's mine...

blackNdeadly: No...He's MINE...

Damon: Why aren't they fighting over me anymore?

Katherine: Don't you have enough girl founding over you, you walking STD!

Damon: You're just mad cause no one is fighting over you.

Katherine: Wanna go there?

H-hey look! *Digs in pocket and pulls out something* A cookie!

Katherine: Is it chocolate chip?

Yeah.

Katherine: Hand over the cookie and die.

You mean or?

Katherine: I know what I said.

Tyler: ...RUN BITCH RUN!

MY COOKIE!

Katherine: I'm going to break your arm!

blackNdeadly: Alright...now since everyone here wanna be honorary black fella, there are some things that you need to know...You need to know about the dreamtime...

Stephan: Dreamtime? Vampires don't sleep...

blackNdeadly: *Chucks boomarang at Stephan* Not that kinda dreamtime, idjit...

Dean: Hey!

blackNdeadly: Some two thousand generations of men and women have lived and died since the first Aboriginal walked upon the soil of this land, now known as Australia. Think of your mother or father, your grandparents, then your great grandparents. Now, including you, that makes four generations, and goes back over 100 years. To go back as far as the first Aboriginal, you need to go back over 40,000 years. That's a very long time indeed!

Damon: I don't get it...

blackNdeadly: We all blackfella...we all got a little black magic in us...anyway, Aboriginal people believe that in the Dreamtime the traditional Aboriginal way of life was established by these mythical Beings. They believe that their ancestors were taught about their tribal lands by the mythical Beings, and were told how they, as descendants of these Beings, should behave. This was their Dreamtime and this teaching is as important to them as the "Ten commandments were to the ancient Hebrews. The Dreamtime ended, no one knows how or why, and time and life, as we know it, began. For Aboriginal people the land has a very special meaning for all over the land there are features which are reminders of those giant Beings of the Dreamtime.

Dean: I don't get it...

Katherine: I don't come on here to learn.

Alice & Leah: You should learn something.

blackNdeadly: Pay Attention! You wanna be like me? Okay...Now repeat after me...'Cooma el ngruwar, ngruwar of cooma, illa booka mer ley urrie urrie.'

Everyone (expect Katherine): 'Cooma el ngruwar, ngruwar of cooma, illa booka mer ley urrie urrie.'

...

blackNdeadly: Cooma el ngruwar, ngruwar of cooma, illa booka mer ley urrie urrie! Oh its no use...shall we talk about sex?

Katherine: Now you got my attention! Front or back?

Leah: *Sighs*

blackNdeadly: Alrighty, let's tell a story...Long ago, in the Dreamtime, there lived a pelican called Damon

Damon:...

In the Dreamtime pelicans were completely black, and Damon was the blackest and fiercest of them all. He was proud of the way he looked, and each day he would spend hours and hours arranging his feathers, preening and prancing, and grooming himself with his large bill.

When he was quite happy with his appearance, Damon would climb into his bark canoe and paddle around showing off to all the other birds. Damon was very proud of his canoe, because he was the only pelican who had one. The other birds would look at Damon and say,

'Look at Damon, so proud in his canoe.'  
'I wish I had a canoe like Damon's.'

But Damon was very selfish, he would never let other pelicans ride in his canoe. When they asked, Damon would say, 'You might fall out, canoes are difficult to paddle.'

Damon knew he looked important, sitting up in his canoe, and he didn't want the other pelicans to look important too. One day there came a huge storm. The rain poured down, soaking all the animals. The old Wombat shivered in his hole, the Kangaroos sheltered under the trees, and still it rained. It rained so much that the rivers filled and flowed out over the land. The old wombat knew that he would have to leave his cosy hole. As he scrambled out he saw the Kangaroos hopping off towards higher ground. But Damon was delighted. All this water meant that he could paddle his canoe to places he had never been before. It also meant that he could show off to lots of animals who had never seen him before. Big, black, proud Damon, the only pelican with a canoe. As he paddled off, he sang,

'Munmuckinny, munmuckinny, munmuckinny, munmuckinny.'

He hadn't rowed very far, when he came across a group of Aboriginals stranded on a tiny island. Damon could see that the rising water would soon cover the tiny island. As he came nearer he could see that there were four people, two old women, an old man and a beautiful young girl.

'Help, please help us. If you don't save us we will surely drown.'

The young girl, whose name was Mungi, pleaded with Damon,

'Please save us. You have a canoe and you could take us one at a time.'

Damon stared at her, she was very pretty and young. And, he, Damon the proudest and blackest of all the pelicans, didn't have a woman. Mungi felt uneasy. Why was the big, black bird staring at her like that? She huddled closer to the old woman. They were all very wet, and very frightened. Damon stared at her. If he could get the three old people off the island, then he could come back and take the young girl for himself.

'I will help you. don't worry. I can save you with my canoe. I will take you one at a time, and I will take the oldest first.'

Damon collected the older woman and paddled her across the river to where the land was high. He helped her out of the canoe and went back again. He collected the other old woman and returned for the old man. Mungi and the old man sat huddled together on the island. Mungi was frightened. Each time Moola came to the island he stared at her and waved his big yellow bill in the air. When the old man and Moola had gone, Mungi was left sitting all alone. She thought. She was young and very pretty, everyone told her so. Was that why Moola stared at her? She began to cry. Through the rain, she could just see the big, black bird paddling the old man towards the distant shore. she sobbed,

'At least the old people are save, but I don't trust  
Moola. I am frightened he will steal me to be his  
woman.'

Damon reached the far bank. She watched the old man climb out of the canoe. Then Damon turned to come back for Mungi. She watched as he paddled towards her. Mungi knew she must escape, if she tried to swim then Damon would only come after her. She must trick him, so that she could escape. She had an idea. 'She quickly slipped the kangaroo-skin rug from around her shoulders, and she wrapped it around a log. Mungi slipped into the water and began to swim to the opposite bank. Damon paddled up to the tiny island. He couldn't see Mungi. Where was she? He jumped out of his canoe. Mungi was nowhere to be seen. Then Damon saw the kangaroo-skin rug.

'That Mungi, asleep, when I Damon the most handsome of all pelicans have come to save her.'

He rushed up to the log and gave it an almighty kick. Pain soared up his leg. He leapt into the air. He had been tricked. Mungi was gone. Damon limped back to his canoe. No one had ever tricked him before. 'the more he thought of Mungi, the angrier he became.

'I'll go back to my camp. I'll get my spears and I'll hunt that Mungi.'

The other pelicans saw Damon coming. He looked quite funny, paddling along with one big, swollen foot dangling out of his canoe. They began to laugh.

'Look at Damon.'  
'Damon doesn't look so important now.'  
'Damon, Damon, Bigfoot.'

Their teasing only made Damon angrier. He went to his camp and splashed white war-paint over his body. The white paint made him look very fierce. Damon roared in anger, gathered his spears and started back to his canoe. The older pelicans saw him, all covered in white war-paint. They had never seen anything like it. Pelicans, they said, should not look like this; pelicans were black. They decided to teach Damon a lesson. Flapping their wings, they rushed at him. Wheeling around him, they pecked and flapped, their huge bills plunging into Damon's black and white feathers. When the old pelicans had finished, they told Damon that he must leave and never return. He was to be banished forever. Although the young pelicans watched in horror as Damon stumbled away, they thought he looked very fierce and proud.

'If we painted ourselves, then we could look fierce and proud like Damon.'

So they all rushed off to paint themselves like Damon. Soon all the young pelicans in the cam had covered their black feathers with fierce blotches of white paint. The old pelicans looked amazed. Pelicans should be black. But the young pelicans didn't listen. They went parading around, admiring their new black and white plumage.

'We look so fierce.'  
We look so proud.'  
'We all look as fierce and as proud as Damon.'

And they have stayed that way ever since. And that is why, today, if you see pelicans on a lagoon or billabong, you will see that they are black with white patches, just as Damon was, long ago in the Dreamtime.

Damon: So...I'm a fucking pelican?

But you're a proud and fierce...

Damon: I'm a fucking pelican.

...At least you weren't a bat.

Stefan: They were delicious.

Rogue Assasin: Hey Chi :)

HI!

Rogue: You haven't watched one piece! Girl you are missing out it's awesome I think you'd like luffy and all his childish innocence.

Cool!

Rogue: I will PM you a pic of Zoro (I wonder if I can on this site)

Alice: I wanna see too!

Edward: …

Alice: Like you can talk. Besides, Jasper's in the dog house.

Rogue: LOL - Tentacle hentai - epic! You'll find the hentai I was talking about on Red Tube (Yes I a perv and proud!)

Me Too!

Damon: Some are louder than others.

Katherine: ...Why is everyone looking at me?

Rogue: So chi did the Aliens probe you? ;-) Did you like it?

*Blushes* Y-y-you knew!

Damon: *Twitch* Must have liked it a lot. Bitch.

Could have bought dinner first.

Damon: What?

Look! A killer whale in the sky smoking apples!

Pam: That didn't work. At all.

Rogue: Hey Chi where do you download your anime from? It's getting kind off difficult these days with stricter copyright laws :(

What I do is convert the anime from the website and download them on my computer.

Rogue: Why is Tyler the leader of the wolves! If anyone should Lead the wolves it should be Leah and if it isn't Leah then Derrick (Teen Wolf) - cause Derrick is HOT!

Leah: Yea.

Tyler: I'm leader because I'm awesome.

Seth: *Laughs* Well leader, you might have to fight to keep you're place. You know, when more werewolves come.

Tyler: Shhhhiiiitttt no. I'm laying the law when they get here.

Rogue: So Eric have you taken Tyler yet?

Tyler: ….

Caroline: Nope!

Eric: It's a work in progress. *Smirks*

Tyler: I feel dirty!

Rogue: I feel kinda outta touch with the VD characters probably won't bother about them much until VD returns so until then its Eric, Zoro and Derrick for me :D

I haven't seen any of the eps yet. Which sucks!

Tara: Good. Tv rots your brain.

Damon: Her brain is gone already. Nothing to rot.

Rogue: Hey Bella how was the rebirth process?

Bella: *Walking funny* I hate you!

Edward: Her coochie has been deformed... she can only have sex with dinosaurs now.

Barney: Someone say dinosaur *Flashes wang*

*Throws up*

Damon: Get that bastard!

Barney: *Grabs Bella* Time for butt sex...

Bella: O_O

Mandy: Hello Damon

Damon: O_O *Damon runs out of the building*

Mandy: *Evil Laugh*

Stefan: Don't leave me alone with her *runs after Damon*

Rogue: How were those tentacles Jacob?

Leah: Jacob never did come back.

Tyler: WTF there are tentacles creeping into my pants AAAAAHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Everyone: O_O

Rogue: Its the attack of the tentacles controlled by Mandy! Don't worry Chi I'll save you!

Well, it sucks for the rest of you!

*Hours later*

Katherine: Well..that was fun.

Leah: *Wipes blood covered face* No one touches my brother!

Caroline: *Sighs* I'm getting too old for this.

TitAnIUm AprIl: Damon, Stefan, Chocolate...

That was for the first chapter.

Damon: I wish you luck, reading this trash.

Stefan: You're on here so that means you're trash too?

Damon: Just shut up and sit there like a gapping fish.

Stefan: If you're going to insult me, atleast know what you're talking about.

titAnIUm: Give me chocolates... And more Damon.

Or Damon covered in chocolates!

Damon: No.

Guest: The part with the names was hilarious xD!

Thank you!

Alice: So finally this is the end of the show!

About time! I haven't really noticed until the last time I updated was that the site is changing...it's scary! But I'll get over it. I've been sick and I feel a little crappy but I'll make it! Yeah! I wanted to do the One Piece special today but decied I should wait, maybe you guys want to have your own funny with the Straw Hat crew but I'll get it done soon. So thanks for reading and I would like to thank bigNbeautiful69, blackNdeadly, Rogue Assasin, titAnIUm AprIl, and Guest (Lol), for reviewing. See you guys next time, peace.

Alice: Love!

Edward: That bitch cheated on me!

Bella: We're not together on here!

Edward: *Hold up a magzine* I mean the people who play us. Sleepy bitch is going to do that to me...ME!

Hell has broke loose.

Damon: I didn't care so hell is still okay.

*Shakes head* Bye!

Katherine: Give me liberty or give me chocolate. I prefer chocolate.


	97. Welcome to the Straw Hat Crew!

Shows They Can't Do Together!

One Piece!

I'm on a mother fu...

Damon: No.

Boat!

Nami: Who are these people on the ship?

Zoro: Don't ask me, ask the captain.

Luffy: Ha ha ha! You look weird!

Damon: ….

Stefan: So we're doing to show here?

Yep.

Nami: You're not doing the show on here...

Luffy: Aw! Nami!

Nami: *Places hand out* Unless you fork over some money.

...Shit.

Katherine: Didn't think about that stupid.

Oh shut up. *Digs in pocket* All I have is a Kit Kat bar and dime.

Damon: Really?

Everyone dig in your pockets!

Chopper: Who are these people?

Sanji: I don't know but they have a lot of pretty women.

Alice: *Smiles* Thank you!

Robin: … *Shakes head*

*Ten minutes*

All we have together is three dollars, a candy bar, a blood bag, and a dead rabbit. *Looks at Stefan*

Stefan: I fell off the band wagon for a minute. Sue me.

Bella: Can we please get off this ship? I feel sick.

Usopp: These people are weird.

Luffy: *Jumps on Damon's back* Piggy back!

Damon: *Growls*

Pam: Why don't we start the show? *Holding an umbrella*

Sorry.

Katherine: Poor thing.

Pam: Can it.

Zoro: I don't know why but I don't trust that blond haired guy.

Eric: *Smirks under his umbrella*

Brook: Let me see your panties ladies!

Katherine & Alice: I don't wear one.

No.

Brook: Oh come on ladies.

Damon: … I don't care if you look like the grim reaper, I'll punch you.

Brook: Touchy.

Sam: When is this going to end?

Whoa dude.

Chopper: You really don't look too good. How many months are you?

Sam: ...I don't know!

Katherine: Who put pregnant bitch on here? *Eats Chocolate*

Elena: You really can't talk.

Tara: Why couldn't we do this at night time?

*Shrugs*

Luffy: I don't mind, you guys could crush here on the boat.

Nami: LUFFY!

Robin: *Shakes head*

Let's … just start the show.

Nami: Not without paying us for the toll.

Okay. *Hands over the stuff from earlier*

Nami: … *Looks at the dead bunny* Ew.

Luffy: We can cook that!

Lovatic: Thank god it's summer! 

Alice: Someones in a good mood. 

Lovatic: Well no duh. I had to suffer through a couple boring weeks but I got some new books which makes my days a lot more bearable even though now I'm up until like 4 am reading. Plus I get to hang out with my friends basically all day. 

Alice: So true. 

HeartsBreak: Yeah is there a part of the story that you're missing? 

Lovatic: What? The part about getting away from all of the annoying as shit people that I had to deal with for about 10 months of my life. 

HeartsBreak: I was thinking 7 months. 

Lovatic: Oh that. Right my other pain in the ass. 

Alice: How bad are we talking here? 

Lovatic: Bad enough to make me want to kill him! 

Katherine: Damon bad? 

Lovatic: Worse. 

Alice: Holy fuck! 

Rosalie: How is anything or anyone worse than Damon bad? 

HeartsBreak: He was being stupid as shit. He refused to talk to her because his girlfriend is a mother fucking controlling as fucking ass shit bitch who can't stand the fact that he had a new friend! She keeps him on such a short mother fucking leash like hes a god damn dog. And he sits there and fucking takes her shit! He can't think for his god damn self! 

Rosalie: What does his girlfriend have against you? 

Lovatic: I have no fucking clue! She saw me three times and we've never spoken. I went near him once and that was to take a picture which was the last time she saw me. She hated me from the first moment that she saw me which I don't get. The second time she saw me I swear she was following me because she didn't want me near him which is not even what I wanted. I swear if she keeps being a bitch she might die. 

Katherine: Did someone mention a bitch that needs to die because I can definitely help. 

Lovatic: It's ok Kit. No one's going to die...yet. If I need the help you'll be the first I call. 

HeartsBreak: Hey what about me? 

Lovatic: I love you but honestly Katherine is higher on the bitch-o-meter than you are, which means more violent. But you'll definitely be the second person I call. 

HeartsBreak: Fine. 

Chi: Is anyone else wondering why Nessie just called Katherine "Kit" 

Katherine: It's her nickname for me. 

Alice: Why? Where the heck do you get Kit from Katherine? 

Lovatic: HeartsBreak used to call Katherine "kitty kat" God knows why but she did. Katherine may not be a kitten but she definitely has claws. The "kit" kind of stuck. So now that I'm not trying to continually kill her I started calling her Kit. 

Rosalie: Really Love? Kitty kat? Where the hell did that come from? 

HeartsBreak: I don't know. 

Lovatic: Where are the guys? 

Damon: Turn around. 

Lovatic: *turns and jumps back* Holy shit Damon! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Don't answer that. 

Tyler: Hey Ness. 

Lovatic: Hey Ty. What's new? 

Tyler: Nothing except Damon's been less insufferable since the last time you were here. 

Lovatic: Has he know? What changed? Was it the fact that Katherine teamed up with me or the threat of having an arrow up his ass. 

Damon: Shut up. You don't have to rub it in I get the picture now. You are one scary huntress. 

Lovatic: Thank you. At least you learned that now. 

Damon: Yeah yeah yeah. I'm going to tell my bunny eating brother that you are here. 

Lovatic: OK *turns to everyone else* bunny eating brother...really? he couldn't come up with anything better? 

Chi: I guess not. 

Alice: Not my problem. 

Rosalie: So true. 

HeartsBreak: I swear this heat is going to be the death of me. 

Lovatic: Forget the heat. The weather in general. It's like mother nature can't make up her mind. 

Stefan: Hey Ness. 

Lovatic: Hey Stefan. How's life with the Demon? 

Damon: Hey I heard that. *runs towards Nessie* 

Lovatic: *Jumps out of the way* Can't catch me. 

Damon: *tries again to catch Nessie* 

Lovatic: *runs and ends up halfway up the wall* To fast for you? *laughs* 

Damon, Alice, Rosalie, Chi & Tyler: How the hell did you do that? 

Lovatic: What can I say I'm fast.  
*Everyone turns and looks at HeartsBreak for an explanation* 

HeartsBreak: Nessie's a special kind of actress...once committed to a character she will inhabit the abilities of that role. Right now she's committed to a vampire, I'm guessing in order to make Damon look like a major ass. Except he does that all on his own. She's got the speed and strength. 

Lovatic: You're welcome Damon. Next time don't make it so easy for me to bait you. 

Damon: You suck. 

Lovatic: I know. 

Rosalie: Ok this is getting really weird. 

Alice: I know. I've never seen them get along so well it's creepy. 

Lovatic: Oh I almost forgot. I've got a concert that I need to plan for. So I got to go. Bye!

...This is a big ass boat.

Ussop: For some reason I don't feel safe.

Pam: I know what to do with that long nose.

Ussop: Yep. I don't feel safe at all.

BlackNdeadly: So...I hear Bella has a thing for older men...no wonder she's dating a older guy...But Seriously, how could you date an older guy. I mean, sure Edward is not that good looking and he does act gay...

Edward: Hey! I'm wanted by women around the world...

BlackNdeadly: ...Anyway, why? Why go for someone older? I mean, someone younger I get but older? What, you decided to go to someone who is more experienced? What is this fascination with British Men? I mean, I shouldn't talk but I have the hots for Richard and after seeing the Dark Knight Rises, Damn Christian Bale! But Seriously, I mean why the British? Perhaps the British are just hotter...

I like older guys, sometimes. But I do love British accents.

Damon: Stupid has an Accent fetish.

...How do you know?

Damon: Lesson one in the thing called life, don't hide your diary under your pillow.

O.o! You son of a motherless goat!

Damon: Haha. New one huh.

BlackNdeadly: Anybody ready for their next Australian Lesson?

Everyone: ...You're not go to kill us, right?

BlackNdeady: …

Nami: That doesn't sound assuring. At all.

BlackNdeadly: Oh come on, Am I really that bad? I mean ou can understand me right?

Bella: Why do I feel scared?

Come on. It's just a language lesson! I..mean...it's not going to be painful...

Eric: I see nothing wrong with it.

Yeah. I might as well learn more.

Damon: Good. So bring it on!

Pam: When is the heat going to die down?

Sanji: In a little bit. *Plays the cool guy* I'm here when ever you need me.

Nami: *Hits him in the back of the head*

Tara: How the hell can you just be okay with the sunlight?

Stefan: Magic rings.

Damon: Made from fairy bones and junk.

Stefan: He's kidding. Maybe.

BigNbeautiful: So I went to see Batman the other day..sorry boys, there's a new hottie in town and his name is Batman, well Bruce Wayne but still...Damn he really fill out that suit...You ever think about him?

I think he's hot.

Katherine: Same here.

Damon: I think he's stupid.

BigNbeautiful: What?

Damon: He goes around in a costume and fights crime. I'm Batman? No you're some rich crack addict with a costume fetish.

...Yo Luffy!

Luffy: Yeah.

DUNK HIM IN THE SEA!

Damon: No way in hell! *Runs away*

Luffy: *Stretches his arms and ties them around Damon*

Damon:O.o...shit.

Luffy: *Dumps him in the water*

Stefan: Wow.

BigNbeautiful: Anyway, this movie, The Dark Knight Rises was brilliant. Brilliant Cast, epic movie, just brilliant and Anne Hathaway is brilliant!

So true!

BigNbeautiful: So, Damon, I have a question for you...Do you reckon you could ever go out with a chick like Catwoman?

Damon: *Gurgles*

Stefan: He said yes and he said 'Luffy is that the best you've got?'.

Damon: *Gurgles*

Stefan: *Twitch* I say throw him into the sea.

Luffy: *Smiles* Okay! *Throws him*

*Hours later*

You're back!

Damon: No thanks to you. Dicks.

Luffy: You should be a little nicer.

Damon: And you should kiss my ass!

Luffy: ...*Shakes head*

BigNbeautiful: Speaking of you Damon, I hear that someone wants to hire you to play the ever so glorious and and that Emma Watson is in the lead to play the innocent Ana...if you do get the part of Christain, who do you think should play Ana?

Damon: Umm...Emma Stone.

She is hot.

Katherine: Pfft. I give her that much.

Jojo meinne: Hey I guys I'm back!

What's up?

Damon: Fan girls that come back from the dead...great.

Stefan: Don't mind him.

Alice: Who ever does?

Jojo: I'm so sorry I was gone for so long gosh! Darn school teachers and all those homework!

Damon: Just kill them all then the problem is gone.

Jojo: ...I promise I'll stay in touch until the next four chapters! Way to go chi! four chapters more until 100, will there be a sequel?

I don't know? Should I? I was thinking about giving the wolves corner guys a shot.

Tyler: Bout damn time!

Jojo: Anyway a heartwarming welcome to ya'll those newcomers! And to Rogue, i never did get to use that whip hohoho! *stares at Bella and Edward evilly* but thanks anyway...

Bella: …

Edward: As long as she gones first I will have no regrets!

Jojo: MAGIC COOKIES FOR EVERYONE...except for Katherine, i don't trust you with cookies and Chi  
I am so miffed missing the rebirth and tentacle hentai episode! REPEAT!

*Evil laughs*

Jojo: Hey Chi, now that Tyler and Jacob are recovering somewhere can we renounce Derek as leader? *poofs Derek into the room (shirtless!)*

Derek: Who are you people? Where's my shirt?

Stefan: Your nose is bleeding Chi.

Damon: Need a tampon.

…

Jojo: I announce Leah and Derek as new wolf couple! :-D

Leah: I'm not going to say anything.

Seth: *Laughs*

Jojo: For my come back (which i have just been reminded now) Chocolates and Rum for everyone! 

Jack: *Takes all the rum*

I thought you were gone?

Jack: I'm always here for the rum love.

Jojo: Chi,what did happen to Sam and dean?

Dean got Sam Pregnant.

Dean: Not by chose.

Sam: What!

Poor Sam.

Jojo: Chi you were probed?

*Blushes*

Alice: That means yes.

Damon: *Growls*

Jojo: What did the aliens look like? Were they a john smith/alex pettyfer (Iamnumberfour) or seth/alexander ludwig (racetowitchmountain) those are the yummiest aliens i know XD.

*Coughs* They..looked...*Looks down on the floor* Like Brad Pitt.

Damon: Really now.

I don't know but when I think of aliens I think of Brad Pitt and I guess they read my mind and things went somewhere else and...a man can't possible be that sexy unless he's an alien! *looks at Damon*

Damon: I'm not a vampire alien, dumb ass.

Chopper: You guys are really, really weird. 

Jojo: I don't like the idea of Damon in chocolate but Stefan...*gropes Stefan*

Stefan: o.o!

Tara: …

Stefan: Jealous?

Tara: No. 

Jojo:You're right this site changes fast...*whispers* it's because of the aliensss!

Luffy and Me: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Zoro: …

Jojo; Anywho, until next chapter guys promise i'll be as active as Chi which is a good thing i hope...  
before i go *puts a collar on Stefan* we haven't played for a while...BRB!

Stefan: *Smirks*

Damon: Ew.

tItAnIUm AprIL: Damon get your sexy ass out of that awful Hannah Montana get up... You look better in white towel;) And Stefan stop fighting. What are you a sixteen years old teen girl who knows nothing but whining?

Katherine; Yep. He's a whinny bitch.

Damon: Watch it. Your bitch-o-meter is going over one thousand.

tItAnIUm: Kazumi are you Bella Swan? I mean who else is there in love with her stalker?

Nope. Never. I'm too much of a wimp to deal with vampires in real life.

Damon: She's a wimp period.

Jerk. This was for chapter two. Next is chapter three!

tItAnIUm: Ewww Damon you kissed Stefan... Thats so gross..

Damon: Don't remind me.

tItAnIUm: I always doubted that they are togetherO.o and Damon you should really stop sneaking in people's private moments...

Damon: Heh. That was fucking funny.

tItAnIUm: Hey Stefan could you teach me ballet please? I'll give you chocolates:)

Stefan: *Comes back* Um, sure. Just tell me when you're ready to learn.

Zoro: Ew.

Stefan: Quite.

tItAnIUm: Oh my god:O you ARE Bella Swan... And you are irrevocably in love with your stalker.. I always knew it.

*Laughs* I ..have no idea what you are...talking about. Haha! Funny. You can't tell on chapter six haha...can you?

Pam: *Shrugs*

Nami: This all this really money were you come from?

Pam: Sadly. Yes.

Nami: Even the dead rabbit?

Pam: …

Sanji: Don't eat that raw Luffy!

Nami: *Sighs*

tItAnIUm: Save Kazumi... Someone please:(

Damon: Hum. Let that bitch die.

*Slaps him in the back of the head* OW!

Damon: Dumb ass.

Jerk!

tItAnIUm: Hey I missed Finn and Quinn:(

Wait. Glee is over.

Stefan: …

tItAnIUm: What about taking all four of them?

Stefan: The purple one needed to die first.

...What's so wrong with the telebubies

Luffy: Who are telebubies?

Stefan: Some really freaky people.

Luffy: We met people like that all the time!

Usopp: It's true.

Stefan: Not like these you haven't.

Luffy: Try us.

Damon: Go talk over there.

tItAnIUm: Damon I love you... Stefan have you met Bella Swan?

Stefan: Chapter 12.

Yep.

tItAnIUm: Oh she has disguised herself as Kazumi.

Wait. What?

tItAnIUm: And the reason why she makes people compare you with her Eddy boy is actually... *whisper*don't tell anybody but she has a crush on you.

Tara: *Glares*

I didn't do anything!

Tara: Pfft.

tItAnIUm: Ok Kathy darling I prefer chocolate too. But Dean covered in chocolate.. Oh he's so yummy:P

Dean: *Smirks*

tItAnIUm: Holy shitO.O there's an Aboriginal girl standing in my room... She wants to eat roasted pelicanO.o Damon maybe you can tell me where I can get one:D

Damon: Somewhere in Miami. Be careful cause there are some hungry zombies.

ZOMBIES! WHERE?

Damon: You're stupid.

...Don't play about zombies Damon cause I don't.

Damon: Stupid.

tItAnIUm : Enough Damon you crazy nymphomaniac... Go and read Fifty shades of Grey and you will find out what real 'Stefan' is.

Damon: Ew. Isn't that just porn for soccer moms?

tItAnIUm: And btw it was a Twilight fanfic so hope you'll love reading it;) :D and Stefan is that all you've got to do? Sharing a recipe? *sigh hopelessly*

Damon: I told you to do better.

Stefan: Shut up.

Damon: Can't do better.

Stefan: Fine!

Luis had always been in love with Amy. He finally got her to come over to his Damon house. Amy was very Damon to be there. Luis told her not to worry and she felt a little better. Luis asked her to come upstairs to his room and she Damonly accepted. She sat on his Damon bed and looked at him Damonly. Luis said, 'I've been waiting for this time. I'm in love with you. I love your Damon hair and Damon eyes. I want to rip off your Damon Damon and just make love to you '

Amy backed away a little. Luis sadly said, 'What's wrong ? Don't you want this too ' Amy sighed. 'Yes I do, I, never 'did it' before ' Luis laughed. 'It's okay ! I'll guide ya through it ' He Damon un buttoned her Damon. She was beginning to get aroused. Luis stood up while taking her shirt off. He kiss her Damon and bit her Damon. He whispered, 'I love you baby' and through his Damon Damon on the floor.

He sat down and Amy Damon made her way onto his Damon and grabbed his Damon and started kissing it passionately. At this point, Luis was becoming aroused. She took off her Damon lace bra and unzipped her Damon skirt. Amy yanked off his belt and he moaned. He threw her on the bed after they were both completely naked.

He Damon his Damon condoms and Damon put one on. Amy moaned when his Damon went in. After about Damon minutes, they were done. She Damon 'I want more Damon sex ' And they began to do it some more. Another Damon minutes passed and Amy stopped. They looked into each others Damon with pleasure. Luis was Damon the deed was finally done.

Damon: It sucks.

Stefan Shut up.

Nami: At least he tried.

Stefan: Don't pity me.

Rogue Assasin: HEY Chi A Pet! *Hugs and kisses Chi and squeezes her boobs*

*Blushes*

Rogue: So are we all having fun today?

Were on a boat!

Damon: If you start singing that song I'll push you over board.

Meany.

Rogue: Yay you're going to do a One Piece special you are LEGENDARY! I'm guessing you finally started watching it How cool is Zoro? Sanji is a bit of retard but I think he and Nami deserve each other

Nami:What?

Sanji: *Smirks*

Rogue: Zoro is mine Bitches - Eric you touch him and I will stake your ass! No one touches him! And Luffy is so adorable I just want to pinch his cheeks and stretch them :D Chi you can molest Luffy - GO molest him NOW!

I got the green light.

Damon: Don't you even dare.

LUFFY I WANT TO HUG YOU AND TOUCH YOUR BUTT!

Damon: THAT'S IT!

*Runs away*

Luffy: I really wanted that hug.

Chopper: *Sighs*

Rogue: Before I delve into my One Piece perversions...Hey Bella how was Barney butt sex?

Charity: Purple Wang *Throws up*

Bella: *In a wheelchair mumbling*

Rogue: What I can't hear you!

Edward: They had Oral too - he knocked out her teeth...

Damon, Charity and Stefan: *Throw up*

Katherine: God, my ears are bleeding!

Rogue: Well seeing as we have the straw hats maybe The monster Trio Zoro Sanji and Luffy could kill Barney and cook him and feed him to Luffy - Luffy loves meat doesn't matter what meat as long as its meat..

Eric: So you like meat?

Luffy: I love meat!

Eric: *Drops pants* How about this meat I bet you it tastes real good

Sanji: *Kicks Eric in the Head* How dare you show yourself to my dear Nami San! Ohhhhh Ladies! *Sanji noodle dances to Katherine* A beauty like yours I have never seen shall we go on a candle lit moonwalk?

Castiel: *Punches Sanji in the face* Leave my woman alone!

Katherine: Your woman? I want to molest the little rubber boy... *pouts* but this pregnancy *Sits back in her recliner next to Sam*

Sam: *Passes Katherine a chocolate shake* Hows the back ache?

Katherine: Much better - Did you find your father's soul?

Sam: Deans still fighting the tentacle bunny to get it back...

Katherine: *Chokes a little* Still fighting it?

Everyone: *Laughs except Luffy who picks his nose*

Damon: Do you honestly think Dean is fighting that monster...

Charity: *Nose starts to bleed*

Damon: *Whacks Charity's head* Pervert

Sanji: *Kicks Damon's head* You must never hit ladies! * Does noodle dance and give Charity a flower* Nami San are you jealous?

Nami: *Looking at Eric's iPad with Beli signs in her eyes* Whatever - I'm busy Eric is showing me his bank balance! He used to be a Viking The first pirates!

Luffy: Sugoi! I want to talk to the Blond Ossan tooo!

Nami: *Punches Luffy*No Go play with Zoro

Luffy: *Pouting* But he's sleeping

Nami: *Turns to wake up Zoro* Where is he?

Pam&Rogue: *Carrying sleeping Zoro into pleasure room*

Alice: Mind them they will be a while...

Sanji: Oh Love, Oh floating effervescent everlasting love where have you been all my life? *Sanji drools over Alice*

Alice: *Punches Sanji and sends him flying towards Bella* Hiding from you

Sanji: *Looks at Bella* What the Fuck is this?

Everyone: *Falls down*

Zoro: *Screaming* They're whipping me! They're whipping me and ... I like it!Harder Harder is that the best you Got!

Sanji, Nami: O_O

Luffy: Zoro sounds like he is having fun... maybe I should go to...

Stefan: No no you shouldn't go there... that place is dangerous for little boys like you

Luffy: I'm not a little boy I'm a man!

Stefan: Yeah righ- *Stefan goes flying*

Luffy: Gum Gum Pistol!

Stefan: I will rip your throat and drink your blood!

Damon: O_O Charity did you remember to give him his happy pills?

Charity: *Getting a massage and a Sunday from Sanji* I may have forgotten *slurps the melted ice cream* Make me another! I could use this kind of attention...

Sanji:*Goes flying*

Damon: You're making the men look bad pansy boy!

Sanji: Bring it on you shitty vampire!

Usopp: Vampires! *Faints*

Wait. This whole time he didn't know?

Nami: Idiot.

Shac89: Great story I have a dare for Damon and Stefan I dare Damon to finally have the fight with Vegeta and Stefan I dare you to fight a Leviathan .

Damon: Fuck. A dare.

Remember, you have to do a dare.

Damon: Like hell I will.

Thought you might say that! *Whistles*

Vegeta: I heard that I got called out by a little bat.

Damon: I hate you Charity.

Stefan: OH GOD WHY!

Leviathan: ROAR!

Have fun guys! *Smiles*

Leviathan: *Drags Stefan into the ocean*

Vegeta: *Grabs Damon and tosses him in the air*

Katherine: Best. Day. Ever.

Shac89: Hey Chi I see you have a problem with some characters so I'll give to you this gift of a character of my own design its only loyal to you and any one you say can use him.

Wow! Thank you.

Shac89: His name is Insanity he likes inflicting pain and also pain inflicted upon him so if he attacks someone and they fight back he will laugh like a maniac and attack harder. He doesn't talk except for grunts and incoherent words.

Alice: Looks like Damon's going to be in trouble a lot.

Elena: About time.

Shac89:To calm him which only you can do you'll need a steel cage and a straightjacket, to provoke him to attack stab him ( He will not attack you if you inflict pain) and point him to the person and enjoy.

He will be so perfect for the FGW!

Everyone: *Nods*

So is it really true that you don't talk back?

Insanity: *Grunts*

Such a turn on!

Damon: *Falls into the water*

O.o!

Katherine: He'll live.

We got the cage but ...Katherine let me use your straightjacket before he kills you guys.

Katherine: ...Whatever here.

Okay! We got everything set!

Stefan: *Yells* DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! IF YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME, JUST KILL ME YOU OVER GROWN DICK!

Vegeta: BIG BANG!

Luffy: Pretty colors!

Well this doesn't look good.

Alice: let's end the show...now.

Okay! Well I would like to thank LovaticNessie4EverUnbroken, blackNdeadly, bigNbeautiful, jojo mennie, tItAnIUm AprIL, Rogue Assasin, and Shac89 for reviews and thanks for reading you guys.

Damon: *Grabs Katherine and throws her in the air* PSYCHO BITCH ATTACK!

Everyone: …

Well guys, should I keep going on these stories or stop at the big 100? Cause either way, the wolves are going to have their own show. So peace!

Alice: Love!

Katherine: Bitch couldn't handle me.

Vetgeta: Did ...she just molest me? ...The fuck?

O.o? Well see you guys. Anything you want to say Insanity?

Insanity: Noihh quidhwd dhihdi...

So cute. He's like the joker but madder! Bye guys.

Luffy: Don't mess up my ship!

Stefan: Don't blame me! Blame that sea weed!

Bye Straw hat crew!

Luffy: Come back later!

Ussop: Or never!

Bye guys!

Luffy: **Gomu Gomu no Gatling!**

**Stefan: Don't hit me too?**

**Isn't that cheating on a dare.**

**Damon; We'll taking the punishment for failing!**


	98. Let's sing about babies

Shows They Can't Do Together!

Victorious!

Tori: Really? They want us to sing a song ...to children.

Andre: We really don't need a replay of last time.

Jade: I nearly barfed in my burger.

Everyone: …

Beck: So lovely.

Robbie: But they are paying five hunred dollars each.

Damon: Hello? No one sees the handsome vampire in the middle of the room?

Jade: *Back hands him* Go sit in a corner and shut up.

Stefan: I like her.

Beck: She taken.

Cat: So what are we going to do? *Eats something*

Andre: Please don't tell me...

Tori:What happened to the bibble guy?

Cat: Leave me and my bibble be!

Jade: How did you get it?

Robbie: I thought they wouldn't sell you anymore?

Cat: I have no idea what you are talking about and I didn't blow anyone to get it.

Everyone: …...

Beck: So anyways back to the song.

Robbie: Well I have the …

Jade: If it's the broken glass song I will kick you in the face and let some chiahuha's nip at your balls!

Robbie: *Under his bitch* Someone's on the rag.

Jade: What?!

Beck: Hey! Hey! She's always on the rag!

Jade: *Punches him in the arm*

Tori: I think I know what song we can sing!

Cat: This sounds like a bad idea...why is there a handsome vampire in the middle of the room?

Stefan: Just ignore him and maybe he will diasappear.

Damon: Fuck you Stefan.

* * *

Tori: THE FOOD SONGS NOT WORKING! *Dodges a chair*

Jade: NO SHIT SHERLOCK!

Beck: WE NEED TO GET OFF THE STAGE!

Cat: WE NEED HELP!

Damon: *Throws a chair at the kids* Like little drunken midgets!

Robbie: *Holds guitar* Let's sing the glass...*Gets punched by Jade*

Jade: NO! NO! *Shakes finger* NO GLASS SONG!

Robbie: You don't have to be an ass if you want to play with glass...

Jade: But if I shoved it up your ass will you still sing bout broken glass!

Damon: She reminds me of someone.

Stefan: A bitch that we all know but want to destory.

Damon: Bonnie?

Stefan: …...Sure why not. Dumb fuck.

Jade: HEY! THROW THAT AT ME AGAIN AND I'LL RAPE YOUR DOG!

Tori: O.o?

Andre: *Shakes head*

Sikowitz: Got to get the fuck out of here!

* * *

I think he meant Katherine.

Damon: Same difference.

Katherine: Pfft.

You guys didn't blow up the building or set the place on fire?

Damon: Nope. Jade did after molsting some kid's dog.

I will never look at her the same again.

Alice: *Nods*

Let's start the show!

Shac89: Hello here to give more info on your gift he is able to fire off volleys of black energy blast from his mouth and can also use a sword if aiming to kill.

*Looks at Damon with an evil grin*

Shac89: He has the body structure of Bruce Lee, his,eye color is forest green,and he has a carmel skin complexion.

He's so sexy!

Damon: You're so weird. What's so hot about a pychopathe?

Why don't you ask your fans?

Stefan: Where is he anyways?

In his cage enjoying the spikes...I think.

Damon: Yep. If that isn't sexy I don't know what is. *Rolls eyes*

Tatas Bouncealot: Lol.

Keep the lol's coming!

Katherine: Hey! Bring chocolate next time okay!

Katherine you can't keep telling people to bring you chocolate, they'll start to think you have a problem.

Alice: Too late for that.

Caroline: Even I noticed that.

Tara: I'm just happy to get off that damn boat.

Sam: Same here.

Katherine: Shut up and fuck all of you guys.

Alice: Can we use Insanity on her?

She's pregeant! That's the only reason.

Damon: Didn't stop her from molsting Vegeta.

Everyone: …

tItAnIUm AprIl: So I just joined a Salsa class and got my ankle twisted. I came home with a sad face. My mom asked me if I need something and I asked for a pain killer. I found a glass full of water but it tasted weird.

Damon: I might know what that is?

Katherine: Spiking water now?

Damon: Please. I just left it there, duh.

TitAnIUm: The next moment I saw Captain Jack Sparrow was dancing with Elena and Katherine was playing Bella's lullaby. Then Damon came in and started yelling on me. He sounded like my brother. How funny is that?

Sure it wasn't real?

Damon: Katherine can't play.

Katherine: Bitch I'm fucking Beeathovon!

TitAnIUm: Oh and he also said that I'm drunk. Now tell me how is that possible? I even told him to leave my room but he was wearing a Neal Caffrey mask... *yawning* I'm tired you crazy people. Let me sleep..

Hope you get well!

Tara: Yeah.

Rogue Assasin: Oh My Word That was EPIC!Again Again I looooooove the straw hat crew!

Luffy: Charity come play again or better yet invite us for a feast! Make sure you have lots and lots of meat!

Yay!

Damon: No. We need no more people. No more men for that matter. Nami and Robin can stay, all ya other bitches can leave.

Rogue: Seeing as I love the straw hats *Rogue snaps fingers* We get an encore lets use them in FGW they can choose to represent someone. *Straw hats appear on their ship in the middle of the room.

Probably Katherine.

Katherine: I can handle myself.

Alice: You're like the pervy cougar who chases after your daughters boyfriends.

Katherine: ...And the point is.

Ew. You're after little kids now.

Katherine: I have an age limit! They have to be 13 to get with this.

You are totally the definision of classy...not.

Katherine: When you get my age, everyone is a jailbait to you.

Alice: At least I didn't turn out like you.

Rogue: Charity I love you and I love this show but I fear if you have to go over 100 it takes a lot on a writer trust me I know so for your own sanity end it. A show about the wolves... I don't see it as interesting as this one. Lets not lose touch when this is done :) If you feel you can go over 100 do I I will always read it.

Aw! Thank you.

Rogue: So Straw hats each on of you pick a partner.

Zoro: I pick the blue eyed Demon Brother Damon

Damon: *Smirks* You picked wisely my green haired amigo

Luffy: I will be the King of the Pirates someone will have to pick me!

Katherine: Come here my little rubber boy come help a defenceless pregnant woman...

Luffy: *Stares at Charity* How can you put a pregnant woman in a WAR!

Charity: She only looks defenceless - beware of her fangs..

Luffy: You mean these ones *Points to Katherine drinking blood from his thigh and faints*

Nami&Robin:*Facepalm*

Zoro: That Baka *Screams at Nami* Why is he so dumb?

Nami: *Screams back* How should I know!

Sanji: Don't scream at Nami San! Nami San see I picked pretty flowers for you.

Nami: *Beats Sanji with the flowers* Not interested.

Chopper: Poor Sanji.

Sanji: Charity Chwan I will be your partner.

Nami: *Face twitches*

Sanji: Jealous Nami San?

Nami: Of what exactly should I be jealous *glares at Charity*

Charity: She's scarier than Katherine but she has such nice boobs *Charity drools*.

Sanji and Brook: *Collapse with nose bleeds*

Nami: I choose the big viking as long as he pays me.

Eric: 100 million Beli and you have to wear this *Throws Nami a Team Eric Bikini in Red and pom poms*

Sanji: *Sniffles* Nami San...

Zoro: Ero Cook...

Sanji: What you say you shitty swordsman!

*Sanji and Zoro start fighting*

Usopp: *Wearing green camouflage and rolling on the floor* Vampires are scary vampires are scary.

Leah: *Whispers in Usopps ear* If you think the vamps are scary you should see the wolves...

Usopp: Wolves...

Leah: *Turns into a wolf*

Usopp: *Screams and runs away, hides behind Franky*

Seth: That was mean!

Leah: Sue me

Brook: Excuse me miss

Leah: Yes

Brook: May I see your panties

*2 Minutes later*

Luffy: Why are there bones everywhere did you have a party and eat meat without me!

Sanji: *Puffs out smoke* Their Brooks bones

Luffy: *Looks at everyone with wide eyes* You ate Brook!

Everyone: O_O

Zoro: *Screaming at Nami* Why is he such an idiot?

Nami: *Punches Zoro* Stop asking me

Charity: So have you decided whose teams you will be on for FGW?

Robin: I choose the Wolf girl - she has spirit.

Leah: *Turns back* You aren't so bad yourself Nico Robin

Luffy: Sugoi! She's a wolf that can turn into a person! SUGOI Join my Nakama!

Derek: Sorry she's part of my pack

Caroline: You're right Tara he is hotter than Tyler...

Sanji: I choose the kind brother who knows how to be nice to ladies

Stefan: *Smiles*

Damon&Zoro: *snigger*

Chopper: I will support the pregnant man.

LUffy: Pregnant man! Sugoi!

Nami: *Beats Luffy*

Eric: And that?

Sanji: He was going to ask that girl boy to join us

Sam: Thank you... one can never have too much help in this condition... I should be popping anyday... right Junior?

Damon:*Laughing* Junior? Sam or Dean Junior

Sam: John Junior after his Grandaddy

*Demonic voice*: No way in hell!

Usopp: Wh-what was that?

Pam: Sounded like John's tormented soul has escaped

Sam: So where is Dean?

Everyone:*Except Luffy and Usopp sniggers*

Franky: I choose the blond haired babe

Pam: You choose me what am I some pokemon - both your pokeballs can't handle this *Pam gropes Franky, Smoke come out of Franky and he blasts off like Team ROcket* You long nose come here and be my pet.

Usopp: No *Pretends to be dead*

Pam: *Picks Usopp by his nose and throws him over her shoulder*

Sanji: you should give in to the ladies requests

Usopp: I'm barely 18 its molestation!

Franky: *Lands* I choose the future seeing fairy girl

Alice: *Cries* I can't see him with my power stupid cyborg!

Rogue: Well I guess thats everyone is there anyone who didn't pick a side?

Brook:*popping on his head* I pick the Twilight knock off guys lady friend *points to tara*

Tara: *pops her new fangs*

Stefan: That is so sexy baby, when my fangs come out I look like pedo bear *Grabs mouth then shouts angrily* you made me say it!

Rogue: You going to do something about it?

Stefan:*whispers* No *looks at feet*

Zoro: *Makes whipping sound with his mouth*

Rogue: Want us to take you in the back room again?

Zoro: This time I do the whipping.

Sanji: *Sits in corner crying* why does he get all the good parts

Charity: Zoro Whip me!

Damon: No... our little writer is overly exciteable... *Shows Naked Len picture to Charity*

Chopper: Doctor Someone call a doctor!

Robin:Isn't that you Doctor San?

Chopper: Right, she lost a lot of blood... through her nose...

Eric: *Pours his blood in Charity's mouth* This will fix her up.

Chopper: What are you doing she'll choke!

Pam: Relax my furry friend its just Vampire blood it will fix her right up.

Chopper: Vam-Vam- Vampire *Screams and clings to Zoro's head*

Rogue: Be back in just a second.

*Hour later*

Seth: Stop gnawing on Brook's bones!

Derek: I just got and it's already a mess.

Tyler: Don't blame me. *Gnaws on the bones*

Brook: *Twitch* Can you please stop?

Rogue: Damn the rain and hail was bad yesterday we're a sunny country so we aren't used to the cold - most of the inland areas are snowing - Anyone want hot chocolate?

Luffy: Me me ME! With some meat!

Rogue: Sure, there's a tentacled bunny out back, if you can kill it you can eat it?

Everyone: O_O

Charity: You do know what the tentacles are for... and what will happen when they get hold of him...

Rogue: I just want to see how far he'll go for meat...

Luffy: A bunny really! Gomu gomu no - ouch!

Charity: *Twisting Luffy's ear* NO destroying my room use the door.

Nami: *Shaking her head at Rogue* You are a sick sick woman

Rogue: You forgot pervert

Edward: And evil

Rogue:*Demonic voice* Who daffuq asked you bitch ass? Go sit with your emo whore girlfriend while she bangs that older married guy

Edward: *Starts crying, puts paper bag over his face and sits next to Bella*

Brook: You are far too mean... *Hands Edward tissues* Rogue san may I see your panties?

Rogue: I would show them to you except... I'm not wearing any

Brook: *Nose bleeds and his soul comes out*

Zoro: *Runs towards Sanji and kicks him in the head* Stupid love cook he stopped breathing Rogue don't over excite him like that

Rogue: That isn't over excitement... let me show you over excitement.

*Rogue grabs Charity and licks her face while groping her*

Charity: Ah!

Robin: Sanji died!

Nami: *Brings her foot down hard on Sanji's chest*

Sanji: Nami San you brought me back from the light does this mean you fell in love with me all over again?

Nami: *Punches Sanji in the face* Like hell

Sanji: *Swollen face* Ewen di angwy Nami swan is macniwicent

Damon: What did curly brows say?

Zoro: Just ignore him, I thought we were going to fight someone and where is my baka captain.

Luffy: *Comes flying in with dead tentacle bunny* Sanji MEAT, cook it quickly!

Sanji: Luffy don't put that in your mouth!

Luffy: But it will taste better raw, this tentacle part looks like octopus

Nami: If you put one part of it in your mouth I will kill you!

Sanji: *Taking the tentacle bunny outside* I think it will be safer if I just burn it.

Zoro: Me and Franky will come with you...

Charity: I want to keep Sanji, he's so helpful and he cooks unlike Damon *Sticks tongue out at Damon*

Nami: *Face twitches*

Damon: I can think of other uses with that tongue

Charity: ...

Robin: I think you have stuck a chord with the Navigator

Nami: What cord you can keep the cook.

Luffy: NAMI you can't give Sanji away like that! Whose going to cook delicious food for me?

Vegeta: Did you forget about me?

Damon: Bring it on pyramid hair punk! *Grabs Katherine* Psycho bitch bang attack

Vegeta: I came prepared *Pulls out humongous vibrators*

***5 hours later***

Alice: *poking Charity with a stick* Charity... oh Charity... wake up

Chopper: Yosh, that Vampire blood is a miracle - she would have died of blood loss without it. Can I have some for our journeys?

Stefan: That would be tricky you see if a person dies with our blood in them they will become like us...

Katherine: I hurt all over ... in a good way though... that penis looks good on her forehead

Charity: *rubbing her forehead* why do I feel like my face was vandalized?

Nami: Because- *Robin's hands appear and block Nami's mouth*

Robin: Maybe you should freshen up and come back you're covered in sweat like you read all 4 volumes of 50 shades...

Rogue: Who would want to read that crap - if its based on Twishit it sucks, I refuse to touch or wikipedia that shit.

Damon: here here!

Stefan: *Hands over trophy to Rogue*

Eric: That's my girl

Nami: Does she get paid?

Pam: No we all do it for free

Franky: All

Bella: She's been with almost all of them, Charity, Eric, Damon, Pam, Leah, Wolverine... I think there are names I forgot as well...

Rogue: Who asked you isabitcha?

*Rogue grabs a club made of ice*

Katherine: *Grabs blood flavored popcorn and sits in recliner with Vegeta chained to her* This will be good

Vegeta: Woman I defeated you and that vampire bastard let me go!

Katherine: Slaves do not speak!

Vegeta: I am no slave I am the prince of all *Voice gets muffled cause Katherine stuffed her tata in his mouth*

Sanji: *Dies... again*

Nami: *Stamps on his chest*

Chopper: *Screaming* Nami you're breaking his bones!

Nami: So *Stamps extra hard*

Charity: Where are Luffy and Zoro?

Robin: Gone fishing...

Sanji: He saw a huge whale shark that he'd like to eat...

Rogue: PETA is so going to come after me with pitchforks

Leviathan: STEFAN

Stefan: Daffuq *Runs out the room and gets grabbed by another Leviathans tentacles*

Charity: *Nose bleed* All my dreams and fantasies are about to come true...

Damon: Not on my watch *Starts covering the Leviathans in bleach*

Dean: *Uses bone of virtuous nun and stabs the goo*

Sam: Oh Dean you're back!

Castiel: And he's gone

Leah: Fucktard 1 and 2 are back why are you looking so sad

Jacob and Tyler: That rubber guy killed our Rabbit we were having so much fun... and now Dean is gone to purgatory where he will have those pretty tentacle Leviathans all to himself...

Eric: *Whispering in Tylers ear* If you concentrate real hard... You can imagine I have tentacles

ROgue: *Nosebleeds*

Usopp: We should leave the people here are very perverted...

Nami: Not yet I want to stay for FGW!

Zoro: you just want the 100 million Beli

Nami: There are only 2 things I love

Sanji: MOney and me *looks with hopeful eyes*

Nami: *punches Sanji* IN your dreams money and maps thats all I love.

Zoro: *Picking up Sanji* Stupid love cook

Chopper: You're going to hell Nami

Nami: *Shrugs*

Luffy: Sugoi! I found the purple dinosaur

Barney: Purple wang attack!

Katherine: Tata milk attack! *Squirts milk on Barney * Barney starts melting*

Luffy: I wonder if the melted stuff tastes like Ice cream...

Zoro: *Smacks Luffy over the head* Why is our Captain a Baka!

Nami: *Kicks Zoro* Stop asking me I didn't give birth to him!

Luffy: Birth whats that?

Chopper: It's when a mother has her baby

Luffy: How does the baby get in her...

Nami: Charity will explain! *Pushes Charity into the corner with Luffy*

Charity: How am I going to explain?

Everyone: *Grabs a chair and popcorn and watches Charity try to explain.

Um...arr...um you know, when the baby pops out of the vajayjay!

Luffy: What is that?

Um...

Sam: O.o?

Katherine: What's wrong with you bitch?

Sam: My water...just broke.

Everyone: …...WHAT!

HOW THE HELL WE SUPPOST TO DO THIS! THIS IS A GUY WHERE TALKING ABOUT!

Luffy: Guys can have babies too?

Nami: *Shakes head*

Chopper: Calm down everyone! I'll deal with it, I'm just going to need a hand.

*Covering my ears* The baby is going to come out of his dick, it's going to be all strechey and stuff.

Stefan: *Throws up*

Katherine: ...Fuck.

Alice: Oh shit!

You too!

Katherine: No. I just dropped my chocolate bar.

*Blinks* Oh.

Chopper: Can I get a hand here?

Tara: I'll try my best.

Damon: Don't eat the baby...that is covered in blood.

Tara: You are not helping!

Sam: *DEMON VOICE * I WILL DESTORY YOU ALL IF THIS THING ISN'T OUT OF ME!

Kawai! Scary!

Luffy: I hope I don't become a pregant man.

Sanji: You have a lot to learn.

Pam: I might as well help.

Katherine: Let's go on with the show.

Veronica Mars: Oh Edward! *Hugs Edward*

Edward: Finally I get some love.

Veronica: I'm so sorry about Bella bitch, how can she cheat on someone as amazing as you! *Taking Edward outside*

Edward: Yeah!

Veronica: Hi Charity, I am taking poor Edward here on Holiday to France to heal his broken heart.

Um, can you guys please wait till after the show, we kinda need help with the whole...

Sam: RRAAAAWWWWRRRR!

Damon: This isn't Cloverfield! This is suppose to be childbirth!

Stefan: Can't tell the difference.

Jojo: Gosh Guys! So much happenings here...I leave you and this *turns to the mess of what's called Chi's bedroom*

*Shrugs*

Sam: I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL!

Katherine: Bitch calm down. *Hits Sam in the head*

Jojo: Let me fix all this up and...*snaps fingers and the room is tolerable again* done!

Yay!

Alice: I think it's going to be messed up again.

Sam: *Trys to throw Chopper*

Chopper: Luffy! Help!

Luffy: So this is like a battle?

Robin: This is going to be a long day.

Jojo: First off, Damon, I'm no "fan girl" of no one whatsoever *karate chops Damon's "wang" and throws him into insanity's mouth* comprende everyone?!

Damon: …

Insanity: Hoigh gdjjfhwofierfh

I don't think he likes him.

Insanity: ifgsdogfoeuwfgb *Spits*

Well..okay.

Jojo: I'm in a very lovely mood today especially since last night...Eric,you have done wonders *licks lips* and stefan too! although where did eric haul you to after?

Stefan: I don't want to talk about it. Ever.

Jojo: But.

Stefan: NEVER EVER!

Jojo: The One Piece episode rocked and i especially loved the part where Damon was kicked-assed by vegeta...and vegeta by katherine.

Katherine: Are you going to bring my chocolate or not?

We're going to have an inervention with you lady.

Katherine: Try it. I dare you.

Jojo: *shudders* though that part was really...unrated.

Yeah.

Jojo: Welcome to the crew Insanity! And i hope you have much tolerance to what's to come!

Insanity: uguiqfgydyqwgi. Gugiougcgudgc.

...I think I heard a bad word in there. Not really sure.

Jojo: So now that I have become acquainted with my whip...i have a few things in mind *evil laugh*

Tyler: Shit is about to go down.

Jojo: Leah I want you with Derek *whips leah into submission and locks her and Derek into a panic room*

Leah: …

Derek: ...The fuck.

Seth: *Shakes head*

Jojo: No one underestimates my matchmaking skills!

…

Edward: Wow. Why don't you do that to Bella and a bear and I'll get on my knees and praise you.

Jojo: Chi you can do whatever you want! there's no Damon to harass you now.

You sure.

Damon: Give me my dick back!

Stefan: Him and cockroaches will live with the whole apolpes happens.

Jojo: I suggest we vote on whether there will be a sequel! or not..

Sure. I'm up for it.

Damon: Give me my dick back.

Jojo: Cookies for everyone...*it rains cookies*

Katherine: Yay!

Sam: RAAAWWWWRRRR!

Usopp: O.o?

Jojo: So Bella have you learned your lesson?

Bella: Pfft.

Edward: Nope.

Jojo: Guess not *calls barney* The purple wang chronicles lives on!

Bella: *Runs away*

Barney: I love you!

Edward: She likes older married men.

Jojo: You still haven't popped Katherine?! I suddenly fear the day that baby comes out...

Katherine: Just keep giving me chocolate and don't worry about it. Lady.

Jojo: Sam hasn't died yet? I thought his baby was an alien.

Sam: ….

Alice: It seems like we're all going to die.

Jojo: I heard it's pretty hot at ur place while it's pretty rainy at ours.

I really not use to California weather. Or any kind, I just want to stay in and grab an ice cream but no I have to walk a whole bunch of blocks and stuff!

Jojo: Seriously I thought I suddenly moved to forks,washington with how much rain is pouring...mother nature has officially gone bonkers.

Damon: Give me my dick back!

Stefan: Should we call you Danella now?

Damon: *Slaps Stefan* Dick.

Jojo: So we're back on giving Damon...and Stefan dares again? *laughs evilly*

Damon & Stefan: o.o God no.

Jojo: Damon and Eric I dare you two to make out...and Stefan I dare you to...drag me a and chi to the pleasure room *wiggles eyebrows*

Damon: Nope.

Eric: It's a dare.

Damon: Hell no.

Let's go Stefan!

Damon: I will kill you!

Bye!

*hours later*

Jojo: Well, that was refreshing how about you chi?

Damon: Yeah Chi, how was it?

You're in my personal bubble!

Damon: *Stares*

Pam help!

Pam: Busy!

Tara: Blood is everywhere!

Alice: Calm yourself!

Jojo: You don't looks so well,are you like,melting?!

Save me. I'm going to die at this rate!

Damon: Charity?

No. Please don't do that! I want to live!

Katherine: *Shakes head*

Damon: *Kiss me*

*Dies*

Katherine: That was mean.

Damon: Bitch should learn her lesson by now.

Nami: Luffy grab her soul!

Luffy: Okay!

Jojo: This show keeps getting weirder and weirder.

Stefan: You say it.

*Five hours later*

Sam: RAWWWWTTTRRRR!

Katherine: That's getting old!

*Kicks Damon in the leg* I was dead! You jerk!

Damon: Stop being stupid then.

Jojo: Anywho i think i missed an official vampire diaries episode have you done one yet?

I was saving that for the 100th chapter, I think it will be fun.

Jojo: Also a walking dead episode now THAT would be hilarious you don't even have to add the cast..just the zombies,yeah zombies would be fun.

Zombie are evil and they will come for our brains!

Damon: Don't have one.

Hey!

Jojo: Here Katherine a chocolate! now will you please shut up...sheesh with that mush chocolate your chugging y not name that kid chocolate huh?

Katherine: Don't tempt me. I might just do that.

Jojo: So...i think i have overdone my stay here but before my break *whispers something to insanity then stabs him*

*insanity smiles and walks towards edward and elena*

Don't make too much of a mess!

Bella & Elena: That's all you're worried about!

Insanity: *Rips them apart*

...So hawt!

Damon: ...

Jojo: It's a free country...I can do what i want!

Yeah!

Jojo: Jojo meinne out PEACE!

Bye!

*Lights flicker*

Crap.

Chopper: I'm starting to get scared!

Usopp: I was there a long time ago.

Alice: It doesn't look like it will end.

Katherine: Just punch him in the stomach and it's will pop out.

Everyone: …

Caroline: No!

Well we'll end it here for today. I'm not so sure of if I should keep going with the story after or just be done with it but have a sequel. And since it's a fan based story I let you guys decied because I love doing this story, it fun and I get to see how twisted you guys are!

Sam: IT HURTS!

In a minute Sam. So I like to thank Shac89, Tatas Bouncealot, tItAnIUm AprIl, Rogue Assasin, Veronica Mars, and jojo meinne for reviewing and thank you guys for reading. Peace!

Caroline: Love!

Edward: And I'm going with Veronica Mars. Peace out bitches!

Sam: RAWWWWWWWRRR...*Katherine sticks a candy barin his mouth*

Bye guys.

Katherine: Stop being a bitch Sam and push!

Alice: Didn't hurt when you gave birth.

Katherine: I wasn't talking about me. I was talking about him. Man up bitch!


	99. One down, two to go?

Shows They Can's Do Together!

Regular Show!

Mordecai: Aw man, we have to stack chairs again?

Rigby: This blows!

Muscle man: You know who else like to blow?

Rigby: *Under his breath* Your mom?

Muscle man: No, you guys. Now get to work losers. *Walks away*

Rigby: You know that jokes getting old.

Mordecai: *Sighs* Come on let's do this...hey who are you?

Benson: Meet Damon and Stefan Salvatore...

Damon: No relations.

Stefan: Ass.

Benson: Their here to help with the party.

Mordecai: I don't know, they seem kinda weird.

Damon: And you're a giant talking bird, a racoon, and a gumball machine.

Rigby: Your point.

Benson: ALL OF YOU SHUT UP AND GET TO WORK!

Pops: Oh my goodness! More guest!

Damon: I hate it here already.

* * *

Damon: I AM A VAMPIRE! I WASN'T MADE TO DO THIS SHIT!

Stefan: *Throws a towel at him* Just pick up the trash.

Damon: Wait till I find that stupid author, I'm going to bash her head until I see grey matter!

Stefan: I wonder if I got a shock collar for you, would you talk less or you'll just get off?

Damon: *Throws a towel back at him* If you're thinking about me naked I will..

Stefan: *Throws up*

Skip: Not picking that up.

*Sky get's dark*

Stefan: What's that smell?

Skip: Mordecai and Rigby did something, didn't they?

Benson: Dumbass.

Pops: It's dark outside! Yay!

Benson: ...Please be lighting and strike them, please!.

Damon: ...Is that a shark? In the fucking sky?

Pops: Fangs up and touch the...

Damon: No!...NO!...NO! NO Nikki Minaj No!

Mordecai: SKIPS HELP!

Skip: I CAN'T! I CAN'T FIGHT THE MOTAMOTAHA!

Damon & Stefan: …

Damon: Let's just leave.

Rigby: WHY CAN'T YOU HELP!

Skip: BECAUSE I WASN'T THE ONE TO RELEASE IT!

Stefan: We need to stay here and help!

Damon: Oh! Stefan look! *Points to the sky*

Stefan: Where?!

Damon: *Punches Stefan in the stomach*

Stefan: *Falls over* Augaga...

Damon: *Picks up Stefan* Time to go!

Muscle man: WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE! WOOOOO! *Takes off his shirt and twirl in the air*

Stefan: Oh...my...god! The wicked witch of the west!

Damon: Shut up or I'll drop you!

Mordecai & Rigby: WOOOOOOOO!

* * *

Yay! Oh. If you're wondering were we are we are on a beach! Oh like my portable room? It's like my room but portable.

Katherine: Shut up, your shrivel voice is upsetting my baby...and my chocolate high.

...Let's play volleyball!

Alice: Yay!

Damon: *Throws up*

Stefan: *Triumph smirk*

Damon: Ah, you bastard...you got one good hit...I'll give you that...but that all you're going to get bitch.

Insanity: Higsdugidg.

Katherine: Can we give this bitch a notepad so we know what he's saying.

Insanity: Dasyufritgyu.

Pam: Um... I'm not burning up or turning into ash.

Oh I found some special lotion online. You can find everything on there.

Pam: Why didn't you gave it to us on the ship?

*Shrugs* Out of love!

Pam: Well out of love, I'm going to rip your face off.

EEEPPPP!

Sam: AAAAHHHHHH!

Chopper: Was it really a good idea to bring Sam to the beach?

Sam: I WILL DEVOUR YOUR SOUL!

Katherine: *Slaps him*

He just need a new scenery.

Tara: Let's start this show people.

Elena: Hey Chi toss the ball to me!

Kay!

Shac89: Hey I hope you are enjoying Insanity now on to the dares * Maniacal Laughter *

*Evil smile* Yeah.

Edward: Are you looking at me?

No, behind you.

Damon: ...Fuck.

Shac89: I dare Pam, Chi and Katherine to torture Insanity and after wards release on to three characters.

Yay!

Katherine: Well I'll go first. *Grabs five knifes and smirks*

*Takes a step back*

Katherine: *Walks over to the cage and repeatedly stabs Insanity*

Pam: What is she up too?

Alice: ...*Laughs* You'll see!

Katherine: Amuse me. *Opens up the cage* Use Damon's and Stefan's bodies as volleyballs!

Insanity: Guguigajggf. *Crazy laugh*

Cute.

Insanity: *disappears then reappears behind Damon and Stefan*

Damon: *Hiss* Shit.

Insanity: *More evil, crazy laughter*

Alice: Cover your eyes Chi.

*Covers eyes* I hear bones cracking and screaming.

Tara: Just keep them close.

Luffy: Hey! I just found a...O.o...can we eat that?

*Few minutes later*

Insanity: *Laughs as he plays Volleyball with Katherine*

Katherine: Best...day...ever.

Bella: I feel sick.

Nods. But he's happy...so it counts? Maybe.

Pam: They are vampires, they'll heal right back up.

I really hope so.

*Hours later*

Zoro: For the last time you can't eat them.

Luffy: But I'm hungry!

*flying carpet lands in the middle of the room*

Jojo: Hello people...*stares at sam* and pregnant dudes

Sam: *Demon groans*

Jojo: He still hasn't popped?! That is soooooo...unnatural.

Yep.

Jojo: *Grins evilly* I think I know just the thing *Walks toward sam*

Sam: I...

Jojo: *Demon voice* LISTEN TO ME OR DIE!

Sam: ...

Jojo: *Pulls Sam into the torture room*

Nami: How many torture rooms are there?

Oh. This is just the portable one. *Smiles*

Nami: ...

*Hours later*

Jojo: *Walks out of the torture room in a bloodied doctor outfit* I have good news,bad news,and worst news.

Good news first!

Jojo: The good news is...I survived.

Katherine: *Stretches* What's the bad news?

Jojo: Oh, the bad news is...Sam survived.

Katherine: Tragic.

Katherine!

Jojo: The worst news is...the baby was born with leviathan tentacles!

Everyone: OH GOD WHY!

Jojo: Naw I'm just kiddin' Sam hasn't popped yet.

Sam: *Screams in the background*

Alice: Then why is there blood on you?!

Jojo: Oh this?! *looks at blood* The owner won't let me use it so...

...

Jojo: Kiddin' I'm not that psycho! ...most of the time

Leah & Nami: Right...

Jojo: Sam's fine and so is his baby such a pickle pulling that thing out of...you probably don't want to know.

Katherine: Let's just leave it in there and plug up the hole.

Alice: I'm so happy that you don't ever change.

Katherine: Yep.

Jojo: Charity's gonna bring them out...won't you chi?!

Yeah.

Jojo: Anyway any clues of what to see on FGW?

Nope.

Damon: Meaning she doesn't know what she is going to do.

Wasn't you a ball.

Damon: Do you want to become one?

...No.

Elena: ...The nets all bloody.

Katherine: Isn't it great?!

Tara: It smells like aids.

Damon: Bite me.

Stefan: ….

Jojo: Aww...Ya'll already picked out teams?! Unfair! *full-on pout mode*

You guys can still pick teams!

Damon: Pick my team.

Jojo: *shudders* Isn't this show supposed to be rated T? Anyway...I pick Chi's team,wherever she is I'm in! And Rogue's! Cause she rocks!

...It really is T right?

Damon: We've stepped over so many bounties that I have no idea.

Katherine: Talk about trash write at it's best.

Shut up!

Katherine: I can steal your turn.

Gasp.

Jojo: I think we should all have an all fan-girl team...team chi (from rogue to australian reviewers) versus the whole cast (from doofus Damon to barney) that would be awesoooomeee...

Chopper: I need help!

Random voice: RAWR!

...I'll be back.

Alice: I might as well come too.

Jojo: The Damon babies would be fun to watch in FGW too...

Pam: Of course their coming. All of them.

Damon: How many do I have now?

Katherine & Stefan: Idiot.

Jojo: Aw look! my matchmaking skills worked...i think.

Leah: *Growls*

Derek: ...

Jojo: *Drools over Derek* I should've kept him for myself...

*Sam and Chi and "the thing" walks out of the torture room*

Jojo: See! I told ya'll they're fine! It didn't hurt even a bit! *smiles too widely*

Sam: *Whimpers* Soo much...pushing

Alice: It's cute. Where's Dean.

Sam: He's in hell...I think.

Jojo: So Bella did you enjoy Barney's wang?

Bella: ...

Jojo: I sense that you still haven't learned your lesson...*Pulls out whip and whispers to insanity* Let the games begin.

Bella: *Screams*

Jojo: I would like to follow Edward's advice last episode but...i love bears wouldn't want them to get contaminated by isabitch.

Edward: ...True.

Jojo: That's because I hate cheatin' bitches even if they do cheat on pathetic pedo's like Edward...Cheating bitches should die!

Edward: Then why did you still torture me?!

Jojo: Your face annoys me...

Edward: So lovely. *Rolls eyes*

Jojo: The one piece cast are so rocking! I love luffy tell him i send hugs and meat!

Luffy: Yay! Let's have a campfire!

Zoro: Yeah.

Sanji: Give me that meat or you'll burn it!

Luffy:No! I wanna eat it now!

Jojo: We should celebrate...2 or more chapters and POOF! all good,perverted and chocolatey things will come to an end...*teary-eyed*

Don't worry...why do I feel so sticky.

Jojo: Let it rain rum! *rum fills the room*

You mean ocean.

Jack: *Swims in the ocean and goes under rummer*

*Hour pass*

Is he alright.

Alice: He's in a happy place right now.

Katherine: Flood the world the with chocolatey goodness!

Jojo: *Drinks a barrel full of rum* I just want to say to ya'll that...I love you guys even Sam and his weird baby...barney for banging Bella and all...and even Damon...in all his doofusness.

Damon: …

Stefan: So much truth.

Jojo: Cheers!

*Hours of drinking and partying and other stuff later*

Jojo: *Pokes at Katherine's bump* Is that a jellyfish?!

Katherine: *Twitch* Touch my belly again and I'm make sure that you'll come back with a nub.

Tyler: Calm down mama bear...ha! Rawr, I'm I turtle. *Falls down*

Jojo: The monster is in hellaluva lumps! *hides behind Stefan* Weird ET thingy! Save me!

Tyler: We are all gonna die! Haha! If...Damon goes first I have no regrets.

...Where were you?

Tyler: With Jack behind that rock.

Caroline: That's a car and you were with me.

Tyler: Really. Then when I went swimming, who was the cat I talked to under there.

Damon: You are just stupid, just really stupid.

Jojo: *Runs away* Choppa lumps is under attack! Come jack sparrow let's hunt legolas!

Jack: Yes! Puppet!

Him popping up doesn't surprize me one bit.

Jojo: *Leans at Damon* Did you know *twiddles thumb* I really like Damon but...sssshhh! Don't tell him!

Katherine: We can all hear you. You even have a mega phone in your hands.

Alice: ..

Jojo: Then we are friends! *shakes hands with Damon* Stefan have you met my new friend?!

Stefan: Wish I haven't.

Damon: Shut up.

Jojo: *Laughs and skips off drunk* I think I have overdone my stay here ladies and 'gents I shall take my leave *curtsies*

Katherine: ...

Jojo: Come my new friend let us party elsewhere! *pulls Damon*

Damon: Yes *sweeps Jojo into his arms*

Stefan: *growls* Don't even-

Jojo: Vamonos my trusty stead! Peace out mutha-eeepp! *Damon runs at vampire speed*

Stefan: Oh hell *runs after them*

Alice: *whispers* Does she know that-

Pam: Ssshhh! Come Chi...this is a new learning experience *hauls Chi to somewhere*

Chi: We'll be back in a few moments..i hope!

*Hours later*

Nami: You look happy.

I ...lost my soul ten times.

Pam: I found it didn't I.

Eric: With help.

Ah. I can't feel my legs! *Falls over*

Edward: *Shakes head*

Rogue: Hey Peeps! Is Sam still in labor?

Not anymore.

Sam: *Smiles*

Alice: Whata pretty baby girl!

Katherine: It's a girl.

Alice: Silence!

Rogue: Anyway I had a fab idea why not start a new show, with the straw hats they're awesome characters or maybe a vegeta and Goku advice show... We can still have Stefan and Damon there is a certain quality about the 2 of them that has heaps of comedy potential.

Damon: You mean I have potential. He;s just a sack of dog shit.

Stefan: *Kicks Damon*

Damon: *Tackles Stefan*

Katherine: WOOO! Money on the fat kid.

...

Rogue: I have a new found respect for Stefan...

Stefan: Really?

Rogue: You are the better brother in the last VD book, you told Elena to go fuck herself because she doesn't know which guy she wants and she decided to start something with Damon... If you had any honor you would both just leave her I blame the ghost writer though the publishing house took the story away from LJ Smith and are now making a mockery of her characters. LJ James wanted it to end with Stefan compelling Elena to forget the supernatural and him and Damon leaving Mystic falls.

Damon: … That kind of hurts. So Stefan get's pride and Elena gets me because I didn't stand up to her? Bullshit.

Stefan: That's the way love goes.

Damon: Fix your shirt princess.

Stefan: Chock on a hotdog.

Luffy: *Chocks on a hotdog* HOT! HOT! HOT!

Nami: We told you to slow down!

Rogue: The whole Robsten thing we all saw it coming when people get together because they were cast together it never works even the chick from Fringe married her co star and they got a divorce less than a year later off screen romances don't work.

Edward: Why don't we lock her in a cage and let a bear train her.

...

Damon: How can you not love me! *Opens shirt and drops pants* How can you not love all of this!

Ooookay?

Rogue: I don't I stopped loving it a loooong time ago you're becoming whiny and annoying like Edward. Vampire Diaries is no longer among my favorites. The new season of True Blood is awesome though I hate Eric's sister Nora and what the fuck is up with Bill!

I haven't seen any of them. Please give me a recap!

Rogue: Okay my rant is over *looks at Chopper hiding behind Charity* Awww did I scare you?

Chopper: *Tears streaming out off eyes* I'm not scared!

Charity: *Picks up Chopper and hugs him* There there it's okay *Looks at the rest of the team with sparkles in her eyes* He's so cute I want to keep him!

Luffy: No, he's my nakama and you haven't told me how the baby gets into the mother yet. If you want to be with Chopper you will have to become my nakama

Charity: *Looks at everyone* But I'll miss these guys!

Zoro: *Smirks at Charity* They can visit

Charity: He smirked... just for me *Melts*

Rogue: He really is something the green haired piece of man... I would love to see whats under his clothes... I bet he has a big- *Robin's hands block Rogue's mouth*

Robin: There are children here! Point to the little Damon running around.

Pam: Why are you all out off your play pen? It's dangerous out here!

Damon1: We bored.

Damon2: Come pway mama.

Pam: *Looks at Tara* As your maker I command you to play with my step kids and not eat them

Damon: Why can't I order my underlings like that? *Looks at Caroline*

Caroline: *Making an angry face at Leah* Why does she get Derrick!

Leah: Awww kitty want to scratch bring it bitch!

Usopp and Luffy: *Drinking cocoa and eating biscuits*

Nami: I thought you were scared of Vampires

Usopp: I got all these at an exorcism store *shows Nami his Garlic chain, wooden cross and holy water*

Eric: Should we tell him those don't work.

Nami: *Whispers* Leave him be... Where is Sanji?

Sanji: Help me Nami San!

Katherine: Seems Casterine found a new toy...

Sanji: *Tied up and having makeup smeared on him by Casterine*

All the women: *Awww that's so cute!*

Castiel: They grow up so fast to think she was born right here in Chi's bedroom...

Charity: All that blood... *Passes out*

Chopper: *Makes charity smell a restorative*

Charity: For some reason I felt as if I was reliving Katherine's labour...

Sam: Hello I still need help!

Baby: *Crying*

Damon: He will probably never fuck again... A moments silence for the loss of Sam's manhood

All the men: *Bowing heads*

Sam: *Twich* I'm right here!

Anyway *Rogue snaps fingers and is dressed in a long red and black dress, Chi is dressed in pink and everyone else in black* I have decided for the penultimate episode we should have an awards ceremony!

Charity: So that's why there's a stack of trophies in my room.

Katherine: You should just name me winner of everything and give me a trophy made of chocolate!

Rogue: Jojo is right... that child might end up being called Chocolate... How about we name it cocoa?  
How does that name sound people?

Katherine: No. It will be Koko!

Alice & Caroline: Sure...

Rogue: Back to the awards!

Charity: Our first category is Best couple :)

Alice: And the nominees are  
Pam and Damon  
Katherine and Castiel  
Bella and Bill  
Leah and Derrick  
Caroline and Tyler

Stefan: Why am I not nominated!

Rogue: *Punches Stefan* Shut up you're supposed to announce the winner jack ass.

Katherine: *Punches Stefan* I just wanted to punch you.

Stefan: *Looks at feet* Sorry... And the winner for best couple goes to Katherine and Castiel

Castiel: *Helping Katherine up* We won it baby! Do you really plan on taking your toys up on stage?

Katherine: *Pulling Luffy and Vegeta on a chain* Yes

Vegeta: Someone save me... Kakarot, Trunks, Piccalo anyone! *Katherine stuffs a Tata in Vegeta's mouth*

Luffy: Does it taste good? Does meat come out of it?

Nami: *Smacks Luffy* Stop looking!

Charity: Damon will be presenting the award.

Damon: Clearly me and Pam should have won

*Rogue kicks Damon in the head* Just present the damn thing

Charity: What about Sam...

Sam: *Passed out*

Chopper: Don't worry I gave him lots of tranquilizers. We will have to perform a cesarean later or his privates will burst...

All the men: *Cringe and press their legs together*

Charity: You're...kidding me! Another is coming out.

Katherine: I guess so. All well!

Chopper: Didn't you here him scream, "Another coming!".

Damon: Here take your damn trophy psycho bitch.

Katherine: *Smiles* attack vegeta

Vegeta: Big bang attack!

Luffy: Sugoi! I want to do that too!

Castiel: We would like to thank all our fans and writer for uniting us and *Katherine shoves tata in Castiel's mouth*

Katherine: Thanks for the gold bitches next time I want chocolate peace out

Charity: O_O

Rogue: Moving on the next award is for the worst possible couple

Pam: The nominees are  
Bill and Bella  
Edward and Elena  
Edward and Bella  
Stefan and Tara  
Leah and Tyler

Caroline: And the winner is *Opens envelope* Oh my its a tie! The winners for worst couple are Edward and Bella and Bella and Bill

Charity: I think she's still being dino raped *throws up in bucket* Bill and Edward please come fetch your award

Rogue: Don't you two have anything to say?

Edward: Bella won twice she is worse than me *smiles*

*Rogue blows up Edward head*

Bill: What was that for!

*Rogue blows up Bills head too* He looks scary when he smiles

Charity: 0_o moving on... our next category is best wolf

Elena: The nominations are  
Derrick Hale - Teen wolf  
Tyler Lockwood - VD  
Alcide Herveaux - True Blood  
Jacob Black - Twilight  
Seth Clearwater -Twilight

Leah: Why am I not in the nominations? *Attacks Elena*

Charity: ...

Sookie: The winner is... Derrick Hale

Eric: When did you get here?

Sookie: I will zap you with my fairy lights you cheating bastard!

Sanji: A man should never cheat on his woman!

Nami: Oh really is that why you flutter behind anything with a pussy!

Usopp: O_O Nami said a bad word!

Zoro: Oi Nami not in front of Luffy and Chopper

Luffy: Sanji like people with cats... but Nami doesn't have a cat...

Zoro, Usopp, Franky and Robin: *Snigger*

Nami: I will kill you all while you sleep!

Derrick: I didn't expect this... the true recipient of this award should be Leah.

Leah: *Covered in blood* Damn straight!

Derrick: *Hands award to Leah* You're not so bad after all.

Leah: Get all lovely dovey and I'll break you're arm.

Katherine: Just use the portal backroom already you bastards.

Jacob: *Mumbling* bastard killed my bunny *throws a shoe at Luffy misses Luffy and hits katherine*

Katherine: Now you die!

Jacob: O_O *runs away*

Tara: Our next category is best dressed and the nominees are  
Caroline Forbes  
Pam  
Alice Cullen  
Katherine Pierce  
Nami  
Robin

Eric: And the award goes to... *smiles - and a hundred fangirls wet their panties* there's no guessing here the winner is my protege Pam!

Pam: Thank you everyone, I'd like to thank my maker Eric, our writer the fabulous Charity and all my cast members it's been fun *Waves to the crowd and walks off with Eric*

Charity: Thank you Pam! Our next category is best Vampire female

Leah: the nominees are  
Pam  
Katherine  
Alice  
Tara  
Caroline

Damon: *falls from sky, swears and dusts himself off* There's no surprise here the winner is my beautiful wife Pam!

Pam: Thank you thank you once again *Holds Damon's hand and walks off stage*

Rogue: Thanks for that Pam and Damon

Tara: Our next category is Best Vampire male the nominees are  
Eric  
Stefan  
Damon  
Edward

Katherine: How'd twifuck get on that list?

Rogue: Retard Veronica nominated him *Throws rotten eggs at Veronica Mars*

Alice: *Sniffing* I should have won best dressed!

Charity: *Hugging Alice* Maybe next year

Alice: And the winner is... Eric

Nami: *Jumping up and down with her pom poms* Gooooooo Team Eric!

Sanji: *Cries* Nami San...

Eric: Well I am the hottest smartest Vampire here and the only one who doesn't have a woman holding his balls so there is no doubt that I would win.

Charity: Thanks Eric *rose petals rain down on all the winners*

Katherine: Couldn't you make it rain chocolate?

Luffy: Or meat!

Zorro: Or booze

Nami: Make it rain Beli's!

Sanji: Rain beautiful ladies!

Franky: Make it rain cola

Pam: I want it to rain blood!

Rogue: Well people before we conclude this award event we have a finishing performance would the following people get backstage Damon, Eric, Charity, Alice, Pam, Derrick, Zoro, Jacob and Seth

*Purple lights focus on stage*

Rogue: Humidity is rising  
Barometer's getting low  
According to our sources  
The street's the place to go

Charity: Cause' tonight for the first time  
Just about half past ten  
For the first time in history  
It's gonna start raining men

*Damon dressed as firefighter, Derrick dressed as a police officer, Eric dressed as a soldier, Jacob dressed as a doctor, Zoro dressed as a construction worker and Seth dressed as an Indian chief start stripping and pole dancing*

Pam: It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen

Alice: It's raining men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Amen

Rogue: I'm gonna go out  
I'm gonna let myself get  
Absolutley soaking wet

Charity: It's rainin men  
Hallejulah  
It's raining men  
Every special men *Damon throws his shirt and it lands on Charity's head*

Pam: Tall blonde dark and lean  
Rough and tough and strong and mean *Pam stuffs money in Eric's pants*

Alice: God bless mother nature  
she's a single woman too  
she took of to heaven  
and she did what she had to do

Rogue: She fought every angel  
rearranged the sky

Charity: So that each and every woman  
would find her perfect guy... *Clings to Damon*

Alice and Pam: its raining men  
its raining men  
its raining men *The men take it all of*

Katherine: The green haired one looks good naked...

Rogue: Zoro's naked!*Stare at Zoro and nose bleeds*

Charity: Her soul is coming out her mouth it's dark and deadly!

Zoro: I'll save you! *Zoro shoves Rogue's soul back in... with his tongue...*

Charity: Zoro my soul is leaving me tooo!

Damon: I have something in my pants to shove it back in with

Charity: O_O

Damon: I'll even dip it in chocolate.

Katherine: Do not defile the chocolate!

Damon: *Grabs Charity and Pam and goes to the backroom*

Luffy: Where are they taking her...

Leah: HEy Luffy you want to know where babies come from... go watch them you'll find out.

Luffy: Charity is going to make a baby! or is it Pam... wait men get pregnant too is it Damon

Leah: *Facepalm*

Robin: Men don't get pregnant Luffy... Sam is a special case... he was born with both male and female privates...

Luffy: *Shocked face* O_O I'm not sure I want to know how he made that baby...

Stefan: It's best we never try to find out

Rogue: Eric tie me and and please me until my eyes roll to the back of my head and I can walk... only crawl...

Eric: *Grins - some fangirl just had a mega orgasm* My pleasure *throws Rogue over his should and takes her to the dungeon*

Bella: H-H-Help me...

Barney: Come back here little girly I've got plenty more Barney love juice for you...

Stefan, Zoro, Sanji, Katherine: Throw up...

Katherine: Fuck...

Alice: You drop your chocolate bar?

Katherine: My water just broke!

Chopper: Doctor doctor we need a doctor! Wait that's me

Sam: I will eat your beating hearts with a spoon!

Usopp: *Playing Dead*

Robin: Me and Nami will help you Chopper

Leah: Just put a muzzle on vampire barbie... she bites...

Katherine: why you mutt! Once this baby is out I will dip you all in chocolate and eat you!

Alice: How did I end up on baby duty?

Tyler: *Passed out*

**Standby Standby!**

Well. Crap.

Damon: Didn't this happen before?

I guess.

Veronica Mars: *Kisses Edward* That was amazing now your broken heart is healed :)

Edward: Thank you.

Veronica: Hi Charity! Wow you're almost at 100 I hope you do another show fir FGW I want to be on Team Edward because I love him,I'm not much of a fighter... please make it so I don't face Rogue... She'll kick my ass. She's like Hitler with boobs and long hair and no weird mustache but she is a total tom boy, She'll kick anyone's ass...

Damon & Stefan: Sounds like her.

Guys! Well the last chapter will have the biggest FGW ever.

Veronica: Oh wanna see a typical day in Rogue's life!

Eric: Sure.

Rogue: I don't earn enough cause I'm a woman  
Rogue's Mom: Don't worry I'll buy you a pen*s

...

Veronica: Sorry had to share I was at Rogue's house yesterday and I was completely finished when she said that...

Alice: Wow.

Veronica: One Piece is here... God help me Rogue goes more nuts for it than she did for DBZ and Ghost files or Mustang from FMA...

Luffy: Hey, what is ghost files or FMA?

Edward: You have a lot to learn about the world.

Luffy: OKAY!

Veronica: Wow that's a lot. I have school tomorrow bye :)

Bye.

Katherine: *Starts throwing people*

Castiel: *Shakes head*

Don't shake your head, help!

Castiel: *Points at Casterine*

Casterine: *Holds her mommy's hand then shocks her*

Castiel: If you're going to tie her down here's your chance.

…

Rogue: *Kicks Veronica out Chi's room like a soccer ball* Bitch I will scrub the sparkles off you in bleach!

Everyone (Besides Sam and Katherine): O.o?

Rogue: I was bored so I came back here to inspire myself to write. I reposted my Bamon story but I changed the entire essence off it. I wanted it to be a court drama but Damon and court didn't go together... the thought of all those decapitated lawyers...

Damon: You know me well *smirks*

Rogue: Whatever, anyway I've changed the characters slightly there will be no Gilberts... so I hope you'll like it Chi! I left the first chappy as it was but thereafter the entire plot has changed :D

Okay! I gotta go check it out after this.

Sam: *Screams*

Alice: *Stuffs a Twinkie in his mouth* That's a good boy just keep pushing.

...Well guys let's wrap this up. Thinking about over the past three years I'm really grateful that you guys read this story. You could have chosen a different story to waste time on but I'm so happy you like it. The mistakes, the grammar, the way out of characterness of this story is really fun to do. As a writer I always wanted my stuff to be liked but along the way I found out that there are people who can help you, root for you and people who can bring you down and make you feel bad about your writing. Comments like I hate your story or this isn't right or you have the character all wrong or the biggest one I gotten was 'Why do you even write? Quit while you're a head you. You'll never be a real writer' And that's got me down and made me lose sight of why I write. But I finally realized people are going to hate on whatever you do, just do your best and keep the goal you had in mind. This will be my second finished chapter story and I'm so happy that I'm going to cry. You guys brighten up my day and I really hope you guys stay with me on the second part of this story. If it wasn't for you guys I would have quit writing. So Peace!

Pam: Love.

Edward: That is fucking depressing.

Thanks for ruining it Edward!

Edward: No.

*Twitch* Insanity! *Stabs him fifty times then opens the cage* Make my day!

Insanity: uitgotiiyohiohik. *Attacks Edward*

Jerk!

Pam: Oh. I still have my dare left. *Stabs Insanity while he attacks Edward* Attack Stefan.

Stefan: What!

Pam: You think I'm going to let you steal my panties!

Stefan: That wasn't me!

Pam: Destroy him now!

Insanity: kgugjhjhklyu. *Attacks Stefan*

Bob: *Wearing Pam's panties on top of his head* This is the good life.


	100. FGW, Halloween, a new baby, and the end!

Show's They Can't Do Together!

Vampire Diaries

Stefan: It's time to choose Elena.

Damon: No games. Who do you really want? A hot badass or that thing? *Points at Stefan*

Stefan: *Twitch*

Elena: *Breathes in* I love Stefan. *Looks at Damon*

Stefan: I'm over here.

Damon: *Takes off shirt*

Elena: …

Damon: *Blows a kiss*

Bonnie: Am I suppose to be here? I have kids at home.

Stop breaking the fourth wall Bonnie!

Damon: *Kicks Stefan then grabs script out of my hands* So I'm suppose to run away, get drunk then cry like a bitch? Fuck that! Where the hoes at?

Elena: *Blinks a few times* Am I missing something here.

Damon: Oh, yeah. We locked up the wimpy, original Stefan, and less badass me.

* * *

Closet

O Damon: *Sighs*

O Stefan: I need a drink.

O Damon: Touch my ass, I feel lonely.

O Stefan: *Moves away then sighs* Okay.

* * *

Damon: Weak. What happened to my badass self? Am I suppose to believe that I got whipped by a human girl.

Elena: It's suppose to be the ultimate choice…

Damon: So why can't I choose between Elena and Bonnie if it came down to it.

Bonnie: No.

Damon: Or some new person, why should I have to be the third wheel until she suddenly wants to be with only me.

Katherine: Yep. You're the Jacob in this thing. But we know the end game.

Bonnie: Besides. She isn't human anymore.

Damon: …Wait? What?

Bonnie: …Do you even watch this show?

Stefan: Doubt it.

Damon: I stopped watching it when it started sucking, isn't that right Chi?

You're not getting me into trouble.

Stefan: Too late.

Klaus: I've been standing here…

Damon: A-a-a, I'm reading a script that seems to not care about my badassness.

Bonnie: You killed my mom.

Damon: I said my badassness, not your drama.

Bonnie: Ha, ha, ha, I'll melt your face off bitch.

Katherine: You're nothing but a dog on Elena's leash. Let that shit happen to me and I'm a witch, fuck Elena, I'm burning shit down.

Caroline: Aren't you in labor?

Katherine: Give me a beer and don't remind me.

Elena: Is no one going to explain the kid bit?

Caroline: Bonnie has Damon's kids.

Elena: WHAT?

Bonnie: That love come and went, buried besides MY MOTHER!

Damon: Get over it. You act like I haven't help kill your family before. Now shh so I can finish reading.

Bonnie: *Growls* This ain't over.

Damon: Yeah, yeah. Fat lady sings and what not.

Stefan: *Shakes head*

Damon: It's like a angst, sex filled version of Twilight.

Stefan: Don't know, still a better love story than Twilight.

Damon: Two guys fighting over the same girl. Willing to risk their lives…

Everyone: And everyone else's.

Damon: If you know that then stay out of my way. It isn't that hard. It's pretty much a set up for a gay porn, like what happened in the book.

So you and Stefan?

Damon: No! In Twilight.

Stefan: *Pukes*

…Where in Twilight is Edward and Jacob just dump Bella and just do each other?

Damon: The fourth book. It was like a forbidden chapter or something.

NO! NO! NO!

Stefan: You reading yaoi now?

Damon: No. I was reading Breaking Dong.

Everyone: …

Damon: I really thought it was the real book.

Elena: Sounds painful.

Katherine: If you came out of the closet, it would be more interesting.

Damon: Don't hold your breath bitch.

Elena: …

Elena. I have a few questions for you.

Elena: Isn't this a shows?

Damon: Poor, poor, little brown. You've been sucked up into a different world.

O Bonnie: *Throws a brick at him*

Elena: Bonnie!

Both Bonnies: *High five*

*Sighs* So why are you still here?

Elena: What do you mean?

You sent away your brother because it was dangerous in Mystic Falls right?

Jeremy: I'm right here.

Damon: No one cares.

After everything that happened, your aunt being killed, Damon (or the thing Damon brought with him)…

Katherine: Hey! I'm not a thing. I'm a bitch. Get it straight.

Almost wiping out your friends, and death being all around you since you, yourself attract a shit ton of bad luck. Have you ever thought of just leaving Mystic Falls or just killing yourself?

Elena: …

Because everything revolves around you. You are like the hotter version of Bella. Everyone wants to either kill you or protect you . Can you really live with the pain of your friends and family are dwelled down until it's only you and the brothers? Or are you a sadist that love the pain that affects everyone?

Elena: What?

I've noticed that. So you have an answer?

Damon: I have a question? I get killed by a tree in the book right? So will I die by a tree in the show because if it's like that then kill me now. It's like me getting killed by a pencil!

Katherine: You are still not getting over that True blood moment huh?

Damon: No.

Stefan: It's a magical tree.

Damon: No. It's a big ass pencil with leaves!

…

Klaus: *Eats a cookie*

O Bonnie: People are just weird here.

Bonnie: *Nods*

Damon: You know. I have an idea, how we can end Elena's problems and everyone elses.

* * *

An hour later

Damon & Katherine: BURN, BITCH, BURN!

Elena: O.O!

Bonnie: If this is original Elena, then where is our Elena?

Caroline: Probably playing in traffic.

Tyler: …I'm not even going to ask. *Walks away*

Caroline: It's better this way.

Mason: I'm still alive!

Damon: *Points a gun at him* No you're not!

* * *

Damon: And that how Vampire Diaries ends.

...It's not even over.

Damon: *Places finger on my lips* Shh, your voice is annoying.

Stefan: …

Caroline: Ladies and...

Wait. wait!

Caroline: What?

Katherine: The brat wants a Halloween type song, since it's close to Halloween and stuff.

Alice: Aren't you in labor?

Katherine: I've been killed by worst pain.

Tara: I think I see some legs...

Tyler: The wolf's corner says cover up your nasty lady bits!

No one needs to see legs popping out of there! This is rated T remember.

Katherine: Ha. You lost that rating when you started losing the stars in your cuss words.

...Don't remind me.

Damon: Let's do the damn song. My ass is getting chapped.

…*Turns head to the side*

Damon: Say something about yaoi and I'll kill you.

Fine.

* * *

Damon: Well hello there little boy.

Elena: I'm a girl!

Damon: *Ignoring* Now don't be shy.

Step right up, I'm a reasonable guy.

Don't be frightened by the look in my eye.

I'm just your average evil meteor from outta the sky.

Katherine: I know where this is going.

Alice: Don't interupt!

Damon: Well, I'm just shy and scared in this place.

Stefan: That's a damn...

Damon: *Punches him in the stomach* I'm just a fish outta water from outer space

You can see that the trip has left me tired and drained

So why don't you be a pal...

And bring me some BRAINS!

Chi: I will do whatever you want.

Elena: He's talking to me.

Damon: Go down to your neighbor's place *Points at Stefan*

See the dull expression on his face

You'd be doing him a favor if you brought him to me

He aint using his brain he's just watching TV!

Stefan: What?

Elena: *Grabs his arm and pulls him to Damon*

Stefan: Pfft. Don't touch my no no zone.

Damon: ...You sure he has a brain?

Chi: Keep going!

Damon: Go down to Mr. McGee's

He hasn't had a thought since '43.

His brain is the portrait of atrophy.

He ain't using it, why not give it to me?

Edward: *Looks around* Why is everyone looking at me?

Damon: BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie,

I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified.

Sure they might think it's deranged

But they won't give it a thought

After I've eaten they're brain.

BRAINS, BRAINS, It's okay.

It's not a matter if it isn't gray,

And if at first they thinks it's strange,

They won't think twice

If they don't have a brain!

Chi: *Winces* Why is there blood everywhere?!

Damon: I'm in character!

Stefan & Edward: *Drools*

Chi: Oh no!

Damon: Go down to the Wonton shop,

My fortune cookie says that I just can't stop

I'll suck the noodle right out of their heads

And half an hours later, I'm hungry again!

Elena: Let's go Bonnie.

Bonnie: …

Elena: Let's go Pam.

Pam: I'm not in this.

Elena: Chi?

Chi: What?

Elena: *Sighs*

Damon: Creep into the donut stop

Sneak in, tip-toe past the cop.

Pick me up a cruller and a cupful of tea.

And any other sweetbreads you happen to see.

Elena: Hey Mr...

Random cop: Copperson.

Elena: Yeah. *Pushes him towards Damon*

Damon: *Noms on his head*

Copperson: AHHHHH I should have shot first then ask questions later!

Chi: …

Damon: BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie,

I'll eat their brains 'til they're zombified.

Sure they might think it's deranged

But they won't give it a thought

After I've eaten theyâ€™re brain.

BRAINS, BRAINS, It's okay.

It's not a matter if it isn't gray,

And if at first they thinks it's strange,

They won't think twice

If they don't have a brain!

Chi: Mr. Copperson?

Copperson: Argh!

Damon: Brains, Brains, I love em, I need um...

My tummy jumps for joy when I eat um.

Big ones,

Jacob: Huh?

Damon: Fat ones,

Bonnie: What!

Damon: Short ones,

Leah: Try it and I'll beat you with a stake!

Chi: You're suppose to stab him with it.

Leah: I'll do that too!

Damon: Tall ones,

Slender man: …

Chi: *Screams*

Damon: They're so delectable, especially the small ones.

No time to cook em in a skillet.

My belly's rumblin', I got a need to fill it.

I don't fry em, the heat will only shrink em,

I'll just grab my self a straw and I drink em!(ohhhhhhh...)

Chi: Don't you think his way into his character?

Alice: Argh!

Chi: No! Why the hot one has to suffer!

Zombies: *Start dancing*

Damon: You've been swell to go around

And bring me every single brain in town

But with all these brains, I can't help but think

That there isn't one left out there to drink.

Now Fess up boy, come on, Heck!

Is there someone that you're trying to protect?

Bring her down here to meet her end

And i promise I'll be your bestest friend.

Elena: *Looks over at me*

Chi: ...Nope.

Elena: He'll be my bestest friend!

Chi: And people in hell wants ice water!

Damon: BRAINS, BRAINS, I won't lie,

I'll eat her brains 'til she's zombified.

Sure she might think it's deranged

But she won't give it a thought

After I've eaten her brain.

Chi: You're not eating anything!

Elena: Ohh! String!

Chi: Where?

Elena: Gotta ya!

Chi: *Cries* The string was a lie?

Damon: BRAINS, BRAINS, It's okay.

It's not a matter if it isn't gray,

And if at first she thinks it's strange,

She won't think twice

If she don't have a brain!

Elena: *Pushes me closer to him*

Damon: BRAINS...

Bring me her Brain...

BRING ME HER BRAIN!

BRING ME HER BRAIN!

Mwahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !

Random cop: *Shoot Damon in the leg* Die zombie!

Chi: Shoot him in the head!

Random cop: *Shoots Damon in the arm* Die zombie!

Chi: Shoot him in the...

Random cop: *Shoots him in the other leg*

Elena & Me: …

Chi: You wanna go get some cookies?

Elena: Yep.

Random cop: Die zombie.

Chi: *Pushes the cop into Damon*

Damon: *Eats him*

Chi: Let's go while he eats.

Elena: Yep.

* * *

Caroline: Ladies and gentlemen! Boys and girls! Welcome to FWG! FAN GIRL WARS! I am your host and willing to give you all the that happen on this show!

Okay! We finally made it to the last chapter so I thought we should go out with a big bang! Yeah! So let's get ready but first...how did we change them but to their normal selves?

Bonnie: *Cracks neck* I'm stronger than I look.

Okay?

Bella: *Drools*

Poor Bella.

Elena: Not really.

Damon: Let's just start this clutter fuck.

Stefan: …

Shac89: For the 100 chapter have Insanity attack Bob!

Insanity: Hoihiohohknsanl.

*Stabs Insanity* Attack Bob!

Insanity: *Laughs*

Bob: O.o! *Runs away*

Insanity: *Jumps in front of Bob and then grabs him*

Katherine: ….Cool.

Insanity: *Rips Bob open and tofu pours out*

Everyone: Ew.

Seth: It looks like a pile of boogers.,

Jacob & Leah: *Nods*

Insanity: *Laughs as he throws him around*

Hey! Hey! Don't mess up the ring!

Insanity: GHigogbjsdcbmn.

...You are so lucky you're hot.

Insanity: *Smirks* Digjgkjfsf.

Damon: Hey! i don't know what you said but I don't like it!

Insanity: *Digs in his ears* Khohlhbvbfdbg Redrum.

….Wow.

Katherine: I really like him...Ow! Owwww! Give me chocolate and maybe beer to forget the pain.

Alice: No.

Katherine: Well you suck then bitch.

Alice: …

Shouldn't we start the first match?

Caroline: Okay! Start the Big Boy!

Wait. What happen to the board!

Sam: *Holds his baby* Katherine.

Katherine: *Boredly* Oh. The pain. It hurts so much. I did not pawn it away to fuel my evil plots...Like I really cared.

Bonnie: …Then what's the big boy?

Caroline: The big guys sticks his hand into a glass bowl and pulls out names.

Bonnie: It's better than nothing.

*Nods*

Insanity: Hohnnbfhjgfog.

Bob: *Screams*

Big boy: *Sticks his hand into a big glass bowl then pulls out a name* Rawr!

Pam: Oh Eric.

Big boy: *Pulls out another name* Rawr!

Pam: Tyler.

Caroline: *Gasp* No! It's a setup!

Eric: Don't hate the player hate the game.

Tyler: I forfeit!

Damon: You can't forfeit.

Leah: Wimp.

Derrick: *Shakes head*

Tyler: I'm not going out like that. *Walks to the ring*

Eric: *Walks to the ring*

*Low whistle* Look at the fan girls rallying behind Eric.

Caroline: Bring it bitches!

Elena: Isn't that cheating?

It's called Fan Girl Wars. She is a fan of Tyler.

Caroline: *Spins a shovel around* Let's go.

Eric: *Smirk*

Three. Two. One. FIGHT!

Caroline: *Hits bunches of Fangirls with shovels* Stay away from him!

O.o!

Eric: Wanna dance?

Tyler: I'm going to puke.

Eric: *Kicks*

Tyler: *Dodges*

Eric: *Disappears and grabs Tyler from behind*

Tyler: *Shivers*

Caroline: *Swings the shovel but Eric disappears, only to hit Tyler* TYLER!

Eric: I win.

Caroline: *Rests Tyler's head on her lap* Sorry.

Tyler: It's okay. I have a hard head.

Caroline: O/O.

Leah: *Twitch* hey host, announce the winner and get on with it already. I want to bust some skulls!

Caroline: Eric won, because he was a douche!

Eric: *Walks back to his seat and eats popcorn*

Pam: Didn't even break a sweat.

Eric: *Smirks*

Pam: You are too smart.

Eric: *Shrugs*

We need to clean up all the fangirls that fell.

Bonnie: I got it.

Damon: Oh. I'm Bonnie, I can do everything with my powers, blah, blah, blah. Can you say something new.

Bonnie: Look up.

Damon: What? *Get's hit in the head with a boulder*

Tara: *Laughs*

Stefan: …

Vie: Hey everyone!

Everyone: Hey.

Vie: I haven't been here in awhile so how's everyone?

Katherine: Plotting everyone's deaths while being in labor.

Pam: Watching the craziness unfold.

I'm just surprise that I'm still alive.

Bella: I've been wondering that too. Didn't you walk into a car?

…*Looks around* No I didn't.

Vie: Chi, it seems you got more people here but I can't say that I've seen Bonnie?! What's going on?

Bonnie: I've been with the kids.

Dante: *Kicks Edward in the leg*

Edward: *Growls*

Danny & Dominic: *Kicks Edward in the legs*

Edward: *Twitch*

Dante, Danny, & Dominic: GET HIM! *Attacks Edward*

Veronica Mars: GET OFF MY MAN!

Rogue: *Laughs* They grow up so fast!

Vie: ...Katherine, how's it hanging? *gives Katherine 10 pounds of milk and white chocolate*

Katherine: I'm happy someone actually cares about me *Cries* and my needs.

Alice: You're faking.

Katherine: Pfft. Your mom was faking when she give birth to you. Yeah, bitch. Low blow.

Vie: Hi Alice, Caroline, Leah, Pam...oh yeah almost forgot Elena. :-p

Elena: Hi.

Alice: Hey Vie!

Caroline: Stop blowing kissy faces at him Eric!

Pam: *Laughs*

Leah*Shakes head*

Vie: Can I say I'm happy that Tara is a vampire and Pam's her mother...now can I get a story about Tara and Stefan...I soooooo love them! *hugs Pam and Tara*

Tara: Yay?

Stefan: …

Pam: Oh my, can you two please get over your stuff! *Grabs Stefan and Tara and locks them in a room*

Tara: *Beats on the door* Let us out! NOW!

Pam: Tara you know me. And I always get my ways.

What are we going to do with Stefan?

Damon: Drop him on his head and hope for the best.

*Sighs* I guess I'll have to use a back up if his name is called. You all most down yet?

Bonnie: Almost!

Danny: *Sets a fire on Edward*

Veronica: WATER! WATER!

Vie: Wow, Chi 99 chappies?! I just hope I make Chapter 100 and please give Bonnie Bennett some chapter time! I'm sorry but I don't know half these people on here!

So, so true.

Damon: Wimp.

*Shakes head*

Vie: I'm at work so I gotta say ba-bye!

Bye!

Vie: PS: I love Damon, Eric, Stefan, Dean and Sam but moreso, Damon!

Damon: And I love you too. *Blows a kiss*

Everyone: *Gags*

Damon: Shut up.

Vie: Smooches!

Is Big boy ready?

Caroline: Yep!

Big boy: *Pulls out a name* Rawr!

Alice: It's Damon.

Big Boy: *Pulls out another name* Rawr!

Alice: Seems like a no name. So I like to put my hat into the ring!

Damon: I don't care that you're a girl.

Alice: *Smiles* I don't care that you're one too!

Damon: *Walks to the ring*

Alice: *Skips to the ring*

Edward: You're going to lose Damon.

Damon: No I'm not.

Edward: *Pats his scorched pants* She can read the future.

Damon: Good. Because it's just going to be that easier for me.

Alice: You're going to lose.

Damon: Doubt it princess.

Caroline: Okay! Three, two, one, FIGHT!

Damon's Fangirls: LET'S GO!

Alice's Fangirls and one random guy: WAR!

Damon: *Runs over to Alice and throws a punch*

Alice: *Dodges it and hooks her left leg behind Damon's head, causing it to slam against the mat* I don't want this to be over too soon.

Damon: *Pushes her off of him* I think I'm starting to fall for you. *Wipes the blood off his face*

Pam: The more the merrier.

Damon: *Throws a punch*

Alice: *Dodges but falls to the ground when Damon kicks her*

Damon: I'm going to lose?

Alice: You are. *Pushes herself back up* In a few minutes.

Damon fangirl # 1: Use the bombs!

Wait, what...

*Flash bombs set off*

Damon fangirl # 2: TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL!

…

Alice fangirls # 1: Operation ZERO!

Damon: What?

*BOOM*

Damon: *Gets shot and falls over*

Zero: Damn it! I missed.

Alice: Told you.

Damon fangirls: *Surrounds Zero and beats him*

Zero: *Twitch then pulls out a bigger gun and starts shooting*

& Give us a second to control a gun crazed psycho! &

*An Hour Later*

Zero: *Takes a breath* I really...get a cookie.

Yes, because you keep saying the cake is a lie.

Zero: Because it is.

Bonnie: It's a tie?

Caroline: HEY! I say it.

Bonne: Okay, Okay.

Caroline: It...is a tie!

Elena: Smooth.

Jeremy: I'm just standing here but no one cares.

Damon: *Twitch* Because They don't. Ow. You shot me in the nipple.

Zero: I was aiming for your heart...or your head.

Damon: Ow!

*Rogue flies in on black pegasus*

Luffy, Chopper, Usopp:SUGOI!

Luffy: I want to ride that flying horse too

*Rogue jumps off Pegasus and lands with her cape in flames*

Zoro: Doesn't that burn?

Rogue: Naah princess of hell and all I get used to it

Usopp: Hell... *faints*

Rogue: OMG we have been together for a long long time its like we have our own highly dysfuntional incestuos family we could be like Game Of Thrones!

Yay! I love that show!

Rogue: This fic has been around and helped me through a lot of tough times these past 2 years always making me laugh when I was at my lowest so thank you Charity for this incredibly zany show! *Hugs Charity*

You're going to make me cry.

Damon: At least you didn't get shot in the nipple!

…

Bonnie: That sounds like a personal problem to me.

Pam: *Nods*

Rogue: I look forward to your new exploits just had an idea you could do an advise show with Jacob and Leah with Damon and Stefan offering counter advice. Hard to beleive its like totally the end no more bitchy Katherine and her babies, no more wincest, no more beating Bella.

Bella: Yep. No more beating me bitches! Yay!

Rogue: Okay I'm not good with mush so back to the present :)

Damon: Stop looking at my bleeding nipple!

Zero: it's like a bloody pepperoni.

*Gags*

Rogue: Damon actually does have more comedy potential than Stefan with all his god damn brooding You ate that chick and became a vampire first Stefan no one forced you but I respect book Stefan not TV Stefan *Shoots Stefan with bloody rose*

Charity: Zero's here?

Rogue: Naah I have him shackled in an underground prison in hell I finally watched Vampire knight the conclusion MAJORLY sucked. Yuuki is like princess Bella so I shot her before coming here and I like Kaname more than Zero but he's also a brooding bastard why do people have to be broody! SO my favorite has to be Aido he is awesome! I also shackled Kaname in the same cell as Zero... How would you like to be sandwiched between them Chi

:D?

Zero: I'm right here.

*Coughs* you better go back before she notices.

Zero: What's with the sandwich joke?

*Smiles* You'll see.

Damon: *Throws a dagger and it hits the back of my head*

DUDE! *Runs around* I'M DYING! THE BLOOD IS FALLING TO THAT FLOOR LIKE KETCHUP! OH WHY, WHY!

Damon: Haha.

Rogue: For my little Luffy I leave 50 tons of meat

Zoro: *Holding up Luffy* From which angle does he look little to you?

Luffy: YAY!

Katherine: Leave my toy alone *growls in pain* Next time we're using a condom!

Castiel: Riiiiight...*smirks*

ALice: He's planning on having many more...

Castiel: An army of hybrids to take over the host of heaven *evil laugh*

Everyone: O_O

Damon: The fairy angel turned out to be a genius.

Stefan: I wondered why he was sticking it out with Katherine...

Katherine: You bastard!

Casterine: *Sitting on Sanji's head* bad momma *smites Katherine*

Rogue: Hey Zoro you know on this site there are lots and lots of ZoLu fics...

Nami: ZoLu?

Rogue: YEah people pairing Luffy and Zoro... to... um *Looks at Chopper and Luffy* do the horizontal mambo...

Sanji: *Laughs*

Brook: I am so shocked my eyes feel like they will fall off though I have no eyes skull Joke! Yohohoho

Franky: *Aims bazooka arm at Brook*

Robin: Don't do it his dead already though... the whole ZoLu thing sounds...

Nami: Hot...

Charity: *Nodding and looking at live feed of Zero and Kaname in dungeon* Wow.

Rogue: Sanji you shouldn't laugh there's lots of ZoSan as well...

Zoro & Sanji: *Throw up*

Chopper: What are they talking about?

Luffy: Zoro how do you do the Horizontal mambo?

Zoro: *Punches Luffy*

Nami: Ask Charity to teach you

Charity: *Soul coming out*

Eric: I'll put it back in! *Drops pants*

**** some time later****

Charity: My mouth hurts

Eric: I'll give you more candy later *zips up pants*

Pam: Don't her soul will come out again thinking about it...

Nami: Too late...

RObin: *Uses powers to force Charity's soul back*

Stefan: *Smirking* You forgot about ZoCho

Zoro: O_O

Sanji: 0_o

Charity: Poor Chopper *Picks up Chopper and hugs him*

Chopper: Wait I need to get the babies out *Charity still holding him*

Katherine: I will eat your SOULS!

Castiel: Casterine

Casterine: *Smites Katherine and Sam*

Rogue: About the new season on True Blood Eric has a vampire sister named Nora who is part of the Authority and has been misguided by Salome into believing the Vampire Bible which says God was a Vampire and he Created another Vampire named Lilith then he created humans for them to feast on and turn as they pleased fortunately Eric was able to snap her out of her shit and Russel Edgington is back and he has found the fairy strip club and I can't wait for the finale! 3 more days :)

Sanji: Why why do people want me with the marimo *Cries*

Rogue: They also want you and Luffy there is lots of LuSan and SanCho too they have RoNa as well.

Robin: O_O

Nami: 0_0

Sanji: *Hearts in eyes, blood shoots out his nose*

Robin: Aren't you going to say anything Swordsman San?

Zoro:... it's kinda hot...*smirks*

Nami: *Punches Zoro in the head*

Luffy: *Whining* Charityyyyyyyy

Charity: I'll show you when Damon isn't looking...

Alice: Hey Damon

Damon: What?

ALice: *Flashes her boobs at Damon and blinds him with the sparkles*

Pam: Now's you chance.

Charity: *Holds Luffy's hand and takes him away*

Luffy: Sanji! Pirate Bentou!

Sanji: *Throws Luffy his lunch box*

Damon: Fuck, sparkly fairy! *rubs eyes*

Katherine: Here it comes again! *Screams and bites Elena's head*

Elena: *Screams* THE FUCK!

Vegeta: Do I have to be here I wasn't there when Trunks was born...

Katherine: RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR

Vegeta: BULMA!

Bulma: You called my name...

Vegeta: Woman just save me from her *points at Katherine*

Bulma: First tell me I am the princess of the Saiyan race

Vegeta: *grumbling*

Bulma: Fine I'm leaving

Vegeta: Fine you're a princess... the princess of my heart...

BUlma: Not exactly what I asked for but I'll take it. Final Flash *Attacks Katherine*

Chopper: She's in labor!

Bulma: Bitch molested my man lets go Vegeta

Vegeta: Where'd you learn to attack like that...

Bulma: Women get super powers when they feel their territory is being invaded.

Bonnie: YEAH! *jUMPS on Pam and starts punching her* Take that you baby daddy stealing bitch!

Everyone: O_O

Damon and Stefan: *Separating Bonnie and Pam*

Pam: You're going down bitch

Bonnie: Bring it leech!

*******A few hours later******

Luffy: *Sitting and rocking in the corner*

Charity: *Smiling* That rubber body can be wonderful if you know how to make him use it.

Chopper: Luffy are you okay.

Katherine: Get it outta me!

Sam: *Drooling - lights are on but no ones home*

Luffy: 0_0

Usopp: if the first time gives you an expression like that I want to stay a virgin

Pam: No no long nose we can't have that... *Pam starts spanking USopp*

Everyone: O_O

Sanji: Poor Usopp *Drools*

Katherine: *Screams* I will rape you all!

Rogue: Just been thinking there are so many shows we could have done! Iron man, batman, HSM, Fringe, Teen Wolf, Ghost Files, Sex and the City... you can probably do them in your new show!

Maybe. *Pulls out a notepad and writes it down*

Rogue: Anyway as with all good things we should end with a musical :D I modified the ends song from disaster movie - hope you like it!

Bonnie: This is bad. Children cover your ears and close your eyes.

Damon: *Smiles strums on guitar* I'm Fucking Bonnie Bennet.

Pam: You're fucking Bonnie Bennet? Well I'm fucking Sam Winchester.

Sam: *With Pink pom poms in a cheerleader outfit* She's fucking Sam Winchester backstage in the bathroom after the show on Charity's bed in the backseat of the Impala I give her head I'm also fucking my brother...

Dean: Yeah He's fucking his brother too and you know what time it is cause i'm fucking Castiel too rawwwwwr

Castiel: Yeah I know it's true Dean Winchester fucks me too

Katherine: And I swap with Jacob and he swaps with that dude

Castiel, Katherine, Jacob: And we're all fucking Eric

Eric: They're fucking Eric and I'm fucking Stefan

Stefan: When I get really mad I start fucking Tara's ass

Tara: A most uncomfortable screw but I've been fucking Sookie too

Sookie: Ding dong

Bill: Whose that ringing on my bell?

Sookie: The bitch that's fucking Tara May that's T-A-R-A-M-A-Y and I fuck her in the mouth

Bill: That's fucking great because I'm fucking a wolf

Leah: Awwwwwoooooo He's fucking this wolf aint that a petty cause I'm fucking Alice cause she's kinda pretty Awwoooooooooooo

Alice: She's fucking a Cullen vamp so I wonder would Leah get mad if she knew we were fucking that new wolf...

Derek: They're all fucking Derek Hale in forest on the floor up against the kitchen door Uncle Peter is our love slave riddle me this holy kanima I'm also fucking True Blood's Pamela.

Pam: He's fucking True Bloods Pamela on the down low low low and I'm fucking Caroline cause I'm on the blow blow blow

Caroline: She's Fucking caroline ohhhhh yeaaaah and I think I might have fucked that hot Jack Sparrow

Jack Sparrow: Everybody fucks me and I fuck them back you see and that Dinosaur too with the purple wang ooooo

Barney: I'm fucking Bella Cause she's so fine and I like to get off right in her eyes

Bella: It's true Barney jizzed my eyes again but I'm also fucking Carlisle Cullen

Carlisle: I am handsome and I am cute thats why this doctor fucks the kids in high school.

Elena, Tyler, Edward, Bella, Caroline, Seth, Jacob, Zero, Kaname, Stefan: He fucks all us kids in high school, under the bleachers in the showers while were changing for gym class

Caroline: I'm fucking Tyler

Tyler: I'm fucking Elena

Elena: I'm fucking Edward in the ass

Edward: Fucking Edwards ass and I'm fucking Jasper

Jasper:Fucking Jasper and I'm fucking bunny Bob

Bob: You know you like it I'm fucking Seth the wolf

Seth: And I'm fucking John Winchester

John: heeeee heeeeee don't judge me I love my Teenagers you see

Zero & Kaname: Oh yeah he's fucking us teenagers sad to say it but its true he fucks the teletubbies to oooooh *meteorite smashes into the teletubbies*

*Eyes twitch* So many f words. I think my head is spinning.

Rogue: Sorry had to add Carlisle there is something unsettling about him turning teenagers...

Carlisle: I like small children!

Everyone: o_0

Carlisle: Bye!

*Faints*

Bonnie: Don't you start singing that song!

Dante: I won't mom!

Bonnie: Good.

Dante: Not in front of you.

Bonnie: What?

Danny: *Covers Dante's mouth* He said nothing!

Caroline: Let's go! Big Boy!

Big boy: *Pulls pulls out a name* rawr!

Caroline: It's Stefan!

Big boy: *Pulls out another name then burps* Rawr!

Caroline: And Edward!

Edward: …

Stefan: This isn't good.

Edward fangirls: LET'S KICKS THIS FARIES ASS!

Stefan: Their like belieber!

Stefan Fangirls: LET'S GO!

All fangirls charge then clash.

Stefan & Edward: …

Everyone: O.o!

Damon: I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Edward fangirl: *Grabs a shield and beats people with it*

Stefan fangirl: *Waving around fire*

Was it this violent last time?

Stefan: Don't think so.

The horror!

Katherine: I would enjoy it more if it didn't hurt so bad!

Alice: Must be almost here.

Stefan fangirl: *Hits Edward*

Veronica: Shit got real!

…

Five hours later

DUDE! MY ROOM!

Tara: I feel really sorry for you.

*Cries*

Stefan: Um...what are we suppose to do.

Someone better win now!

Edward: You sure?

YES!

Stefan: *Punches Edward*

Edward: HEY! *Kicks Stefan*

Stefan: *Sighs then punches harder*

Edward: *Kicks harder*

This is annoying. *Pulls out a dagger* Insanity, end the match! *Stabs him*

Insanity: Hihohkbefvbsk! *Grabs Edward and runs away with him*

Damon: What is he going to do with him?

Terrible, terrible things.

* * *

Edward: No! Please! No more! I can't watch another episode of Bad girls club anymore!

Insanity: Fkjfghjdkutkjgc. *Laughs*

Edward: This is worse than death itself!

Insanity: *Crazier laughs*

* * *

Caroline: So that means Stefan wins?

Damon: Weak

Pam: *Pinches his nipple*

Damon: OW!

Pam: *Growls*

ccase13: I would love this show!

Aw thank you!

Damon: will you people stop giving her a big head. It's already huge!

*Kicks Damon* Like I care.

ccase13: I will watch ANY show that has the Salvatore brothers tearing each others' clothes off. Even Hannah Montana.

You guys remember that chapter?

Damon & Stefan: I want to place it in the back of my mind.

Alice: Haha.

ccase13: You should do the boys reading fanfic about themselves.

…*Devilish smile*

Damon: Oh! No! I've already seen the horrors on this show why would I look at others.

Pam: You should do it.

Damon: Why?

Pam: Cause your wife is asking nicely.

Bonnie & Elena: *Twitch*

ccase13: Sam and Stefan trying to break up Dean and Damon fighting is hilarious. TVD has an unfair advantage since they get MUCH more advertizing and higher pay.

Aw. that was chapter nine. Before all the crazy incest stuff was going on.

Dean: I think it was better that way.

Damon: Yep.

Sam: You're still a dad even if you like it or not!

Dean: …

Sam: *Growls*

ccase13: I HAVE to go to bed! I can not believe you have kept this thing going for over 2 years and 340,000 words. That is 3 novels! They are funny, I'll be back.

Thank you! *Blushes* It make me happy!

Bonnie: ...This is alot.

Tara: I'll help.

Pam: No. Make that bitch suffer. *Smile*

Bonnie: Wanna see your brains on the side of the wall?

Pam: I'll rip through your neck before that happens.

Damon, stop it!

Damon: I know better than to get into a girl fight. Why should I get my face crawled out?

Because it's your problem. Baby mama..

Elena: Mamas.

Vs wife is a pretty bad thing!

Caroline: Why don't we keep going with the reviews?

Okay.

Shac89: Hey 99 chapters Congratulations now heres a translation collar for Insanity.

Thanks. Hey Insanity!

Insanity: Igugogujjbdeufsd.

Here. *Puts it on his neck*

Insanity: ...I keep seeing blood and knife everywhere and I wonder if I keep stabbing myself will all the darkness fall out into a pool of nothingness.

...I love you.

Damon: Great another emo boy. Either someone is broody or straight needs to be laid, girls flock to them and it's sicking.

Insanity: I want to stab you in the face.

Shac89: Damon fight Insanity I dare you.

Damon: Nope!

It's a dare. You have to do it.

Damon: This is the last chapter. I'm already wounded.

You can't use your nipple wound as an excuse besides, it already healed.

Damon: Nope.

Insanity: *Grabs Damon* I've always wanted to play with you Damon. *Tosses into the ring* Lets see who could tear the other person's skin off first.

Why is that level of madness so sexy?

Caroline: I don't see it.

Damon: No fucking way!

Bonnie: All my work! *Screams*

I know your pain.

Shac89: Pam and Leah I bet you two can not handle a session with Insanity in the pleasure room.

Pam: I could but he looks like he's having too much fun with my husband.

Insanity: Don't run Damon.

Damon: I like my skin!

Shac89: This is for everyone except Chi, out of every one here who would intentionaly piss Insanity off.

Everyone: *Shakes their head*

Damon: Charity call your dog!

Insanity: We're having so much fun. *Starts throwing knifes* I love knifes, the pain makes me feel alive.

Damon: I don't care! Stop chasing me!

Shac89: Oh I have a present for Katherine

*(CRash) a Giant chocolate statue made in Katherine's image crashed through the roof.*

...

Shac89: Ha I threw that shit before I entered the room.

...

Shac89: Now Chi Lock Alice,Tara,and Bonnie in Insanity's cage for some fun.

Hey guys!

Insanity: Wait, Cherry! I still wanna rip this guys skin off.

Damon: ….

*Shakes head* You can't deny someone pleasure!

Damon: Wait till this is over, I'm going to torture you!

Keep going Insanity!

Rogue: I'd piss Insanity off the bitch aint got nothing on me fire and brimstone I'll turn him into a goat *Rogue kicks Insanity and he ends up flying through the hle in the roof that Katherine's chocolate statue fell outta* *Pointing to gigantic whole in ceiling* And that

Charity: *Cries* It's going to cost a fortune to repair... I'll have to sell my house to fix my roof..

Damon: 0_o

Stefan: *Facepalm*

Eric: *Yawning*

Pam: We could put in a sun roof...

Rogue: *Nosebleeding* or a mirror... me and Zoro I could watch his ass muscles flex... *drools and passes out*

Chopper: Quick CPR!

Zoro: I'll do it

Damon: Back off moss head you put her in that state! *Starts administering CPR*

Stefan: Why are you being nice?

Damon: FGW wanna be on the receiving end of Rogue?

Stefan: *Throws Damon across the room Starts frantically performing CPR* Open your eyes god damn it look i'm saving you!

Eric: *Pulls Stefan's pants down Stefan runs away* I know how to bring her back *Carries ROgue to Dungeon*

Zoro: I'm coming to

Charity: I want to go to Rogue's dungeon with Kaname and Zero!

Damon: Stefan you bastard you messed up my new shirt *Kicks Stefan between the legs*

Stefan: I'm going to *gets hit by afterbirth*

Katherine: It's out finally its out!

Stefan:...

Alice: Aw!

Baby: *Smiles*

Chopper: O_O the afterbirth came out like a bullet

Katherine: My handsome KoKo

Castiel: *Facepalm* I wanted to call him Alejandro

Koko: *Smites Castiel*

Katherine: That's a good Koko!

Damon: *Helping Stefan up* Where's writer?

Nami: *Playing poker with Pam* Probably dead

Robin: *Looks up from her book* She flew off to Rogue's dungeon on Pegasus with Jojo's magical submission whip...

Sanji: *Crying* The ladies don't love me

Alice: I'll love you...

Sanji: Really? *Hearts in eyes*

Nami; *Twitch*

Alice: Well Jasper that cheating bastard fucked Edward I don't want him anymore *Drags Sanji to backroom*

Nami: Hold on there sister hands off! *Takes out Climatact* Thunderbolt Tempo!

Sanji: Nami San! *Pushes Alice out of the way* Why are you attacking poor Alice

Nami: I felt like it

Usopp: Don't push it Sanji

Nami: What do you mean Usopp?

Usopp: *Hides behind Franky*

Luffy: Why'd she have to put that thing up my butt...

Everyone: O_O

Eric: I wonder what the little Chi a pet actually did to the boy

Rogue: *straightening clothing* Thanks Eric, Zoro *Kisses Zoro* Yeah Chi what happened between you and Luffy

Charity: *Flies back on Pegasus* droools *Unintelligible words*

Pam: I think they put her soul back in upside down...

Damon: *Facepalm* I'm going to choke her until her eyes pop out of her skull!

Caroline: I think they should fix Chi first before we continue.

Bonnie: We have to get it out first.

Pam: *Throws something*

Bonnie: *Shirt falls off*

I'm dead.

Alice: Don't let her soul reach the ceiling!

Bonnie: *Covers up* I'll kill you!

Pam: Don't cry. You've been so helpful.

Bonnie: THIS IS IT I'LL...

I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts dee dee e di and their they are standing in a row! Big one, small ones, some as big as your head!

Bonnie: *Slaps me in the back of the head*

OW!

Caroline: Hehe big boy...

Bonnie: You don't have to say it Big boy! It's me vs Pam!

Pam: You sure?

Hey! I just met you and this is...

Bonnie & Pam: SHUT UP!

Why do you have to be a hater?!

Damon: *Pulls on the back of my shirt* Stay out of it if you want to live.

Bonnie: Let's go!

Pam: After you.

Um...

Bonnie & Pam: What?

Bob.

Bob: BIG BOB BUTT ATTACK! *Lands on Bonnie and Pam*

Alice: You guys are really funny.

Veronica Mars: *Wearing Team Edward cheer leading outfit* Yay Edward!

Edward: I love this girl. *Smiles*

Bella: I bet you do.

Veronica: Hi Everyone wow the last chapter! I wish I started reading earlier...

It's okay.

Veronica: Anyway to the sensitive readers my apologies for the mature content Rogue smuttified this fic (like everything else) Charity is innocent it was all Rogue and her dirty mind *sticks tongue out at Rogue*

Rogue: *Laughs*

Veronica: You should change the rating though... Rogues Twilight Debauchery vanished cause a Bella fan squealed to the moderators... Bad Rogue she had it on T and the language in it was beyond MA.

Lol. Damn you Bella lovers! I'm kidding, I love the manga Bella, but movie Bella acts as if she has no soul. Like a blow up doll!

Veronica: Anyway go Team Edward! Charity I want to fight Bella for hurting my Edward!

Have at it. *Looks over* Insanity killed Big boy.

Insanity: *Jumps in pools of Big boys blood* So much fun!

…

Veronica: *Holds up an ax* Bye, bye bitch!

Bella: *Hides behind Elena* Take her too!

Elena: *Pushes Bella* Nope. I'm not dying for you.

Veronica: Let the games begin! *Chases after Bella* You trampire!

Bella: *Screams and runs away*

Edward: If only she was in Forks.

Damon: Yeah. Yeah. Whatever.

Rogue: I'm back.

Katherine: ….I HATE YOU ALL!

Tara: Thought you were dead.

Katherine: Just because I don't talk for five minutes doesn't mean I'm dead.

Koko: *Laughs*

Castiel: I fear for the child.

Rogue: True Blood Finale is over how could they end on such a cliff hanger! Jason is being haunted by visions of his parents asking him to do bad things, Pam and Tara made out, Jessica confessed her love to Jason (Which is weird... she loved Hoyt not too long ago). Bill drank the blood of Lilith and died and out of the pool of blood he rose again as Bilith and Eric screamed out run and it ended! And Nora knows something about Warlow the vampire Sookie was promised to by her God only knows how great grand father and the part where Eric killed Russel... damn *Grabs Eric and disappears into the dungeon*

Luffy: Does she push things in his butt too...

Pam: Sometimes...

Alice: *Rolls eyes grabs Luffy's hands and takes him to the pleasure room*

Luffy: I don't want to! * Arm stretches as Alice pulls him*

Alice: I have food in there

Luffy: *Runs into pleasure room*

Alice: I'll fix him.

Damon: You mean you'll get back at Jasper.

Alice: I'll have insanity eat you.

Stefan: Is someone going to do something about Charity *flapping around like a goldfish on the floor*

Katherine: Maybe we can throw her in the ocean and hope she gets eaten by sharks right KoKo

KoKo: *Turns into shark*

Casterine: *Rolls eyes and smites her brother*

Katherine: Casterine! He's only a few minutes old!

Casterine: *Smites her mommy*

Castiel: She's a treasure...

Katherine: Lets bury her

Tara: We need to fix Charity!

Rogue: *Wearing cat ears and a school uniform* We'll fix her! *drags Charity to backroom with Eric*

*Screams moans and shouts are heard*

Zoro: Should we join them?

Pam: I thought you'd never ask

Damon: Hey that's my wife!

Pam: No one said you couldn't come along...

Derek: Wanna watch

Leah: I have nothing better to do Jacob you're in charge!

*Scream is heard and Dean falls from the sky*

Dean: Fuck you King Of Hell! *Dusts himself off*

Damon: Does someone not care that someone fell from the sky?

Dean: What I miss, who are the babes? *puts arm around Nami and Robin*

Nami: Wanna keep that hand?

Robin: I don't mind

Sanji: Leave my Nami Swan! *Kicks Dean in the head with Diable Jamble*

Stefan: Congratulations its a girl I'm not sure what the other one is...

Dean: O_O other one...

Tara: Yeah Sam is going to pop out another.

Dean: *Faints*

Stefan: *Gets hit by Sam's dead penis*

Chopper: 0_o it's another girl... *faints*

Stefan: *Screams and starts ripping up random people in a fit of rage*

Sanji: Nami San come here *uses sky walk and flies away with Nami*

Franky: *Grabs Nico Robin and his ass inflates* Coup de booo! *Farts off with Robin over his shoulder*

Chopper: Jumping point *Jumps onto the roof with Usopp*

Brook: What about me! He'll break my bones! I'm only Bones! *Stefan starts dismantling Brook*

Seth: Leah should have left me in charge *turns around* where the fuck is Jacob!

Jacob: Here steffy steffy *throws Edward at Stefan - it starts raining glitter*

Katherine: This is why you are not going to hang around them. Ever.

Jacob: Throws Seth and Bella at Stefan and runs

Seth: You bastaaaaaard!

*Screams are heard something shatters, more growling*

Charity: *Pushing Damon closer to the door* You should go and check on him!

Damon: Why me - I vote Eric!

Zoro: You just want him to rip Eric apart

Damon: *Twiddles fingers* What makes you think so

Pam: I'll do it.

Damon: Fine I'm going! *Hold Pam back and cracks the door open* Hey Stefan are you alright? *Slams door closed

Charity: And?

Damon: He just threw an army tanks at us!

Derek: What did you make this room out off it's still standing with all the shit that's been thrown at it.

Rogue: Come here Zoro... huh... oh the room it's made from bones of the cursed and stuff *Pulls Zoro towards the Fireman pole*

Leah: You've been at it for 2 days!

Rogue, Eric, Pam: So?

Zoro: Bushy brow has been at it for 2 days too *another crash is heard*

Damon: Bushy brow I love it!

Leah: *Takes of clothes*

Derek: Wow

Leah: I'm going to save Seth... and kill Stefan if he hurt Seth... *Turns into a wolf and launches herself at Stefan*

Damon: Damnit! Why do I have to save the bushy browed bastard! *Runs after Leah*

*****sometime and lots of sex later******

Alice: Take that Jasper!

Luffy: *Pouting* Where's the food - you lied to me!

Alice: What about the sex!

Luffy: Food!

Alice: What happened to the room?

Charity: Stefan went on a rampage

Luffy: You're back to normal

Charity: Rogue fixed me... then Eric made me die... and Pam brought me back and Zoro made me die and Pam brought me back then Damon killed me a bunch of times...

Chopper: You lose your soul too easily...

Damon: It's because she is stupid.

Rogue: Hey Chi why don't you put Ash in FGW he can be Team Stefan.

Stefan: sjfhbskfkwhfvsfbwrbfus

Katherine: Bitch took my arm off!

Leah: I took all his limbs off how dare he do that to Seth! *Holds Seth's head* I'm sure your body is around somewhere...

Seth: Find it fast someone's touching it in a way I don't like!

Damon: Come near us again wolf girl and I'll drink you!

Leah: Please you can't take us on! *All the wolves gang up on Damon*

Eric: Oh look rabid dogs shall we put them down? *All the Vampires back up Damon*

Nami: Sanji Kun put me down

Sanji: No *stares at Nami's cleavage*

Robin: Wings *Flies up and takes Nami from Sanji*

Zoro: Ero Cook

Sanji: Shitty swordsman *Sanji and Zoro start fighting, Luffy starts laughing*

Chopper: Where are the children!

Franky: I shoved them in the playroom with Bonnie.

Dean: My arm where daffuq is my arm! *passes out*

Chopper: I don't even care anymore

Damon: Now Stefan wanna tell me why you went all psycho Stef?

Stefan: hfhsfishfiushfoauid

Katherine: *Breastfeeding KoKo* Shouldn't we take of his muzzle?

Pam: He looks cute in that muzzle *pouts*

Eric: rips of muzzle and drops pants

Damon: *Hits Eric with a Silver bat* I know your weakness bitch!

Stefan: How would you feel if Sam Winchesters Penis came flying off and hit you in the forehead!

Damon: oh kay *puts the muzzle back on Stefan and pours vervain on Stefan's forehead*

Charity: O_O

Damon: I'm cleansing the nasty Sam penis germs off him

Charity: You're burning off his skin

Damon: Your point?

Rogue: Sorry came back here cause I was working on DWD and needed a distraction so Chi have you read it what do you think so far?

I really like it and I'm saying it as one of those people who can't get passed the first page if I don't like it. I have add when it comes to books and fanfics but if it's a terrible horror movie I would just sit there and try to wait for something to happen, then get pissed when something doesn't happen.

Rogue: I'm working on some brotherly bonding with Stefan and Damon the way bro's are meant to be. Thinking of doing a hot and heavy 4 way with Damon, Stefan, Caroline and Bonnie.

...We need more stories like that.

Damon: As long as I'm not touching him, I agree! Yay bonding.

Stefan: …

Damon: But if you touch me I will stab you. In the eyeball.

Usopp: WHat happened to that Sam guys penis anyway.

Luffy: Sanji! Look what I found!

Zoro and Sanji: O_O Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooo

…

Shac89: A-a what is he doing?

Insanity: *Walks in covered in blood with a note. Passes the note to me.

Slaughtered demons?

Insanity: Do not eat the tacos!

Tacos?

Jacob & Seth: We were...not...suppose to ….

Now the tacos are lies! I can't live in this world!

Jacob: *Still eats the taco* It's just chewier. I'll get over it.

Seth: Gross. *Slowly eats the tacos*

Rogue: Oh Charity... Are you still among the living or have you been zombified?

*Drools*

Damon: Just because I take my shirt off doesn't mean you can treat me like a piece of meat.

Rogue: Anyway I've been watching bleach and I found Bella's anime equivalent Orihime Inoue I hate hate her I really do *Rogue snaps fingers and a giant blender appears in the middle of the room*

Katherine: Another bloody show.

Rogue: By clingy naggy annoying bitch *Rogue tosses Orihime in and switches on the blender*

Chad: Aren't you going to stop her?

Ichigo: *Blows out smoke* Naah I've been waiting for someone to get rid of that pest.

Rukia: About time

Uryu: *sniffles* I liked her though...

Rogue: Bella bitch!

Bella: *Starts running away and gets smacked half way across the room by Katherine*

Katherine: I love interactives!

Rogue: *Pouring the Orihime blend in a glass* Drink

Bella: but but...

Rogue: *Demonic voice* I said DRINK!

Bella: NO!

*Rogue tosses Bella in the Blender blends her*

Stefan: …

Edward: I'm happy, who else is happy?

Leah: I am freakin peachey.

Rogue: Oh Elena

Elena: *Pretending to be a tree*

Damon: *Kicks Elena towards the blender* Do it turn her into mush do IT and put Katherine in as well!

Katherine: Try it. I dare you! And I bet I will take you with me.

Ichigo: Ready to go home?

Rukia: Lead the way

Rogue: Hey Rukia

Rukia: Yeah

Rogue: I want to molest your brother... bwahahahahaha. Now Elena drink this

Elena: NO

Uryu: Lets just get out of here.

Chad: Agreed

Katherine: *Shoves a pipe down Elena's throat and force feeds her* That's a good girl drink the nasty ho mix.

Pam: *Shoves Elena in a canon*

Rogue:Goodbye slut cubed *Rogue lites the fuse and watches as Elena plummets through space*

...

Rogue: I'm thinking of an interactive fic 50 ways to kill Orihime Inoue...

Knowing you. It will be the best fanfic on the freakin planet.

Ichigo: Stop looking at me like that!

Katherine: Wait until my hands are free. You will be mine again!

Ichigo: I'm getting the hell out of here! *Runs*

Well it seems that we reached the end.

Bonnie: No we didn't!

Damon: ...Oh ya wanted me to say something? I'm not.

*Shakes head* Since 2010 this story was formed by bored and by 2012 it became a place where fans could just shape a story. It's really fun and never expected it to be a hit from people, expect the Delenaer, they hated me, and I didn't really do nothing. But I thought and thought about what to do for this finally farwell to this story and thought...I know what to do now. So if you made it this far, thank you, for reading, for reviews and for all the support and the little flames I got from this story. So I have to say is that this might be the end for the shows but not the end for Damon and Stefan's adventures. Or the fan adding things to make it better. Shows They Can't Do Together maybe done...for now...but now Movies They Can't Do Together will be born, and hopeful better written than this.

Damon: Oh shit. Are you for real.

*Smiles* Yep. Movies are just as fun as shows and there's alot to make fun of.

Tyler: Why?

Just simply, because it's fun!

Caroline: Well good for you.

So to the 115 that favs this story, 70 that follows, and the 1287 that reviewed, thank you. For reading all the filth, the craziness, and the oc characters. And also for the one characters that were here but disappeared in the shit load of people. Thank you all. Peace.

Caroline: Love.

Bonnie: I want revenge!

Pam: *Rolls Eyes*

Damon: I'm more sexier than you, by a freaking land slide.

Dean: Go away.

Sam: Please don't fight!

Stefan: We need a shock collar for him.

Tara: Yep. * Smiles*

Stefan: *Blushes*

Elena: I hate you all.

Bella: Here. Here.

Caroline: I love you.

Tyler: I love you too, but don't touch my butt like that.

Caroline: *Twitch* ERIC!

Eric: ..*Smirks*

Jacob: These taco...are great.

Seth: I'm floating!

Leah: Stop looking at me!

Derrick: *Smiles*

Bob: I will destroy you all!

Edward: ...Disgusting tofu bastard.

Alice: *Laughs*

Jack: I am finally out of that bloody closet! I need a drink.

Danny: Dude you reek.

Dominic: Let's set him on fire!

Dante: GET HIM!

Nina: …

Katherine: He is high flammable. Do it outside. Safety first!

Castiel:...

Insanity: I wanna help!

Do not set Jack on fire! He will blow up!

Jack: Love is right, all the alcohol is soaked up inside me, and if I get caught on fire then it's kaboom for me.

Dante: Let's blow him up!

Alice: We want to thank Shac89, Vie, Rouge Assasin, ccase13, and Veronica Mars for the reviews!

Bye guys!

Damon: Peace out!

Stefan: Let's get out of here before Jack explodes!

Everyone: *Runs away*

* * *

Damon: The show is over. Why did Chi call us?

Stefan: *Shrugs* Must be good.

*A computer sat up in the middle of the room*

Damon: *Looks around before walking to the computer* It looks like a fic.

Stefan: Must be a trap.

Damon: Can't be. This is Chi's room, she wouldn't destroy it herself. Besides she's stupid.

Stefan: *Takes a seat and looks at the screen* Stefan's Hershey?

Damon: Oh no. It's a trap!

*Drums start playing*

Damon: Shit! We have to...

Stefan: AH!

Damon: What!

Stefan: *Throws up* It's a yaoi with you on top.

Damon: I rather have that then the other way around. *Shivers*

Stefan: *Boredly* Hahaha! What is that sound?

Damon: Get up and let's go. Now!

Stefan: Something is behind us.

Damon: *Lets out a breath* Let's turn around on one, two, three

*Both turn around*

Stefan: Nothing there.

Damon: Good. Let's grab this computer, smash it only that yaoi lovers head, and teacher her not to fuck with me! *Turns around then screams*

Stefan: *Turns around and screams*

* * *

Insanity: Why did you call the guys back to the room without me killing them?

I wanted them to learn a lesson!

Insanity: Who is in the room?

Hahaha! Slender man!


End file.
